Visit Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
#crack
iamnmbr3 · a day ago
Text
Mobius: You weren’t born to be king, Loki.
Loki: but I was tho. my whole backstory is literally that I was born to be the king of Jotunheim but odin stole me. I thought u said u watched my whole life. did u just fast forward thru it? that’s what u did isn’t it?
Mobius: ....
Loki: also even if u skipped the whole bit with my heritage being revealed and the mess that resulted from that ur statement is still stupid bc surely u saw the bit where I was the YOUNGER SIBLING!!!! do u not know how royal succession works? are you embarrassed right now? bc im embarrassed rn. I am literally embarrassed for u. do u want 2 maybe come up with a new attempt at a devastating revelation and try again bc im not trying 2 be judgmental but that sucked. 
377 notes · View notes
kindaangelic · a day ago
Text
Batbros Showing Affection - Yet Another Series Because I Won't Stop
Jason Todd Edition
Jason will never, ever admit it to any living being (unless he's about to shoot them, of course), but he secretly loves being a little brother. Just as much as Dick loves being Jason's big brother.
Before Jason's tragic demise (that he mentions at every possible opportunity) Dick had been a distant character. Sure, he had smiled at Jason, and gave him brotherly advice, even allowing him to stay over when Bruce got too Bruce-y.
Now, Jason has a brother who is a fully fledged hero, peacekeeper, man, and mother (because Damian) in his own right, and he's found that they exist better together as adults.
Now, with the clarity of adulthood, Jason can relate to Dick, can talk to him, reason with him, train with him, no holds barred. Jason doesn't need to smooth out his rough edges with Dick, because his brother remembers, he knows Jason for his past and present, and he accepts it all with a kissy and a hug.
Jason would take a beer over the kisses, but whatever.
***
Jason grew into his friendship with Tim. Over time, after Tim's scars faded, and they were able to establish a new baseline.
Truth be told, he was dragged into it by Dick, in the beginning. Forced dates over froyo and coffee, with the background noise of Damian simmering in the background, squished into Dick's side like a growth.
Jason and Tim bonded a shared love of weaponry, and a shared hatred for the Joker.
He had taken Tim. He had nearly broken Tim.
Dick had killed the clown for what he did to his brothers. In his weaker moments, Dick wished that he had stayed dead. Jason, under no unrealistic moral code, wished for it loudly and on a bi-weekly basis.
It had changed the previously innocent, idealistic boy Tim existed in the shadows now, flitting around his brothers until Jason caught him and sat on him.
Slowly, they bonded during Jason's sitting sessions. They now indulge their mutual destructive streak together, blowing up villains lairs and warehouses and giving rogues wedgies after a battle.
***
Unlike Jason's other two brothers, Damian is a can of evil worms.
Damian remembers Jason from when he was in the League, and was Damian's official babysitter. Jason took his responsibility seriously and would sit on Damian to subdue the tiny, murderous, blob of porridge.
Damian remembers that when Todd was antagonistic to the family, Grayson cried over him, agonizing over Jason's harsh - and truthful - words.
Damian only saw that Grayson was sad, and so Todd would have to die.
It took several months to convince Damian not to kill Jason, and now they get along and bond over their shared love of weaponry and debate over the use of poisons.
Jason doesn't like poison, he doesn't think it allows for a fair fight.
Damian doesn't care.
They reach a compromise when Tim makes a non-lethal acute laxative poison dart.
Gotham's villains have never smelled worse.
But Jason sees the smallest bat brat bouncing happily on the balls of his feet as Scarecrow shots his pants and cries, and he can't help but cackle along with his baby brother.
176 notes · View notes
trashykawahq · a day ago
Text
Haircuts
Pairing: Reader x Chuuya Nakahara
Genre: Fluff; Crack
There’s few people he trusts with his hair, and this...this does not seem to be one of his best decisions.
Masterlist
Tumblr media
“Watch it!” 
“Hold still, will you?!”
Y/N clamps a hand down on his shoulder, keeping him in place in the chair in front of the mirror. The scissors in her hand look daunting as they glint in the light, almost as if promising disaster. 
Chuuya doesn’t like it.
“I don’t need you hacking off a fucking massive chunk of it!”
“I haven’t even started yet, Chuuya...” She protests. “Stop being a baby and suck it up.” The snipping motion of the scissors makes him shudder in his seat. 
They were currently in front of the vanity mirror in their room, a sheet to catch fallen hair laid down beneath them. The usual barber Chuuya goes too had been gone on  holiday and wouldn’t return for a couple weeks, and Chuuya really needed a haircut. 
Here he was...sitting in a chair in front of his girlfriend, about to get his hair hacked off and ruined, probably. God knows why he agreed to this. 
“Just...be careful with it. Just a couple inches. Not more than 4.” He narrows his eyes, meeting hers in the mirror. Y/N shakes her head and sighs, adjusting his head so he’s looking forward. 
“I heard you the first 17 times you’ve told me. Just hold still, alright?” She leans down and presses a kiss to the top of his head. “I won’t ruin anything. Calm down.”
“I am calm!” He flushes a little at the pointed look in the mirror she gives him, and he finally settles down, grumbling.
When he feels her run her hand through his hair, he can’t help but shiver. Y/N admires the feeling of the locks running through her fingers. She’s always loved his hair. It’s beautiful, vibrant colour, matching his colourful, powerful presence and personality. It was long and pretty, and he damn well rocked the look. 
“Beautiful.” She mumbles, prompting a small amount of colour to fill his cheeks. 
She separates the hair into equal portions and combs it out, finally pulling up the scissors. Chuuya holds his breath as he hears the first snip and oh God, there’s no turning back is there?
It’s not a pleasant experience for him, a rather nerve-wracking one, actually. His hair was one of the things he prided himself on. He didn’t get to control who he was or where he came from but him hair...it gave him some semblance of control. Surely something such as hair, something so constant over the entirety of his life. Keeping something like that to his will gave him reassurance. Of what? He wasn’t quite sure. Maybe that he has a say in his life, or maybe that he can decide what he wants to do
Whatever the reason, he’s proud of his hair...the hair that’s surely being hacked off right now. His eyes are shut and he’s a little hesitant to open them.
About 10 minutes later, the snipping finally stops. He feels her brush pieces off his shoulder and remove the towel from around his shoulder. 
“You can look now.” He can practically feel the amusement in her voice. Gingerly, he crack open his eyes.
And he stares.
He looks perfectly fine...he looks good. 
Eyes wide in surprise, he turns his head from side to side, looking at all angles and touching the leftover strands experimentally. 
“I’m waiting for an apology...maybe even a thank you.” She smirks, placing the scissors and combs back onto the table. 
“It’s not...horrible, I guess. Thanks...” She snorts, turning around. The small, pleased smile he tries to fight down tells her otherwise. 
“Not horrible...yeah, that was the goal.” She chuckles. God, he looked so good, if she may brag. He always did, but this length suited him so well. 
She can tell he agrees, even if he doesn’t say it.
-
89 notes · View notes
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Dad Flint on strike again! 😎
93 notes · View notes
esmethesciencewitch · 2 days ago
Text
Mail Order Bride!Luke?
Din tries to place an ad for a tutor/bodyguard for his son. It just says something like: “Seeking Jedi or other Force-user, must have experience fighting Imperial troops or battle droids, my son needs to like you, serious inquiries only.”
But he accidentally places it in the Personals section instead of the general jobs section. Luke sees it, and he’s intrigued. So he puts on his Chanel boots and best cloak, and flies off to get himself a man(dalorian).
Din: umm, here’s my son, I’m sorry I’m broke but I’m accidentally sort of a king now so I should be getting a salary? We can work something out.
Luke: *almost faints at the sight of Mando and child* That doesn’t matter to me, when are we getting married?
Din: WHAT?!
Luke: You wanted a spouse who could “wield a laser sword-thingy efficiently in combat,” and “do the magic hand thing with rocks and other heavy items”. Those were oddly specific, but I’m here. *Shows him the ad, points at the page it was listed under.*
Din: *cries*
82 notes · View notes
mr-and-mr-pendragon · 2 days ago
Text
Merlin: Gwaine, you're a genius!
Gwaine: Yeah, I get called that a lot.
Merlin: What, a genius?
Gwaine: No, Gwaine.
107 notes · View notes
hoboal87 · 2 days ago
Text
Whoops
Pairing: HunterCorp!Dean x Reader
Summary: There's something off about Dean
Warnings: Smut, Crack
Word Count: 420
A/N: written for @cockslut-padalecki's Eleven Sentences Challenge. Prompt is bolded.
thanks to @drakelover78 for giving this a quick-read through for me.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
There was something different about Dean; as his hands caressed up your thigh, you noticed their callousness replaced by soft, gentle touches, the way he talked was off too; the slight drawl in his voice that was usually there, was gone, he was acting prim and proper. He kissed you like he’d never kissed anyone before, it was all teeth, whatever game he was playing at, it turned you on more than you cared to admit.
He gasped desperately when you pulled out his cock, stroking him to full hardness, before crawling above him, positioning yourself over him, and sinking down with a groan. The look on Dean’s face wasn’t something that you’d ever seen before; like he was a virgin all over again, moaning loudly as you began to steadily rock your hips. He grasped at your waist tentatively, like he thought he was gonna hurt you; you reached to put your hand over his, bringing it to your breast, encouraging him to massage it, before he seemed to get the hint, and took a nipple between his fingers, giving it a pinch.
“That’s it, baby,” you moaned when he finally started meeting your movements, thrusting slowly in and out, slowly tightening the coil inside you. You leaned over Dean, letting your lips meet his as you began to move more vigorously; as much as you're enjoying this odd change of pace, you know you’re never gonna get off this way, you need him to take some control. “Why are you being so gentle with me,” you husked into his ear, teetering to the edge, but never quite falling over, “you know I like it when you’re rough.”
It was like something clicked within Dean, and he flipped the two of you over, before setting a fast and rough pace, his cock finally pistoning in and out just the way you liked. The sound of his hips slapping against you filled the silence of your room, and it was only a few moments before you came hard around him, seemingly triggering his own orgasm as he came deep within you.
“What the fuck?!” Dean’s voice filled the room, but it wasn’t the Dean on top of you, cock still twitching, and you look up to another Dean standing in the doorway, staring, mouth agape as he took in the sight before him, and you remember the half-listened to voicemail from earlier; that the Dean on top of you was from another world, and you let out a half-hearted whoops.
Tumblr media
Feedback is fuel! Please let me know what you think!
60 notes · View notes
mlobsters · 2 days ago
Text
happier (we broke up a month ago)
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
(will graham is a jealous bastard)
song: happier - olivia rodrigo
also on youtube
29 notes · View notes
miraculousfanworks · 22 hours ago
Text
Fanfiction Prompt
Crack prompt: You've heard of Banana Noir. You've heard of Chat Blanc. But what the world absolutely wasn't ready for?...Banana blanc. Turns out, when you Cataclysm the moon, you find out it's not made out of cheese. It's bananas...
via Coffeebanana
20 notes · View notes
zimtchai · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
the mood in here is electric
82K notes · View notes
kafiguas · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Oh you thought it was over?
30K notes · View notes
nibeul · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
behold. the greatest thing I’ve ever drawn, nothing will top this. I have no impulse control, so when I said I’d draw this, I meant it. This was worth the 5 hours it took. @incorrectfandomquotesjz please enjoy.
(Please ignore that I forgot my signature in the last panel). RBs appreciated!!!
8K notes · View notes
thesquipproject · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
it’s been a while since ive done some crack so here you go 🤲
@gamma-squad
part 2 coming tomorrow
-
first | next
4K notes · View notes
fromcenotaphy · 8 months ago
Text
Dean and Sam hunting together: well that’s the show isn’t it? saving people hunting things etc etc. brotherly moments that make you either go awww or want to throw them off a cliff. practically reading each other’s minds on hunts bc they’ve been doing it for so long. terrible communication any other time
Dean and Cas hunting together: hunter husbands. standing 1.5 inches away from each other at all times. constant bickering constant eye sex constant rifling through each other’s pockets oh god they’re so fucking married
Sam and Eileen hunting together: extremely sweet together. heart eyes while discussing lore and/or tactics. pretending not to be worried about each other because they each really want to respect the other person’s independence and hunting skills.
Cas and Eileen hunting together: murder besties. taking turns beating the shit out of villains while the other person nods approvingly. roasting their boyfriends during stakeouts. mutual agreement not to tell dean and sam how many people they’ve blackmailed.
Dean and Eileen hunting together: sky-high levels of competence. kicking ass left right and center. off-the-charts wittiness. spn would only be 1 season long if it was about these two because they would immediately solve every apocalypse in the most practical way possible and then spend the rest of the season getting drunk together at dive bars.
Sam and Cas hunting together: terrible, terrible idea. the case may get solved but fifty new problems will be created. maximum chaos minimum planning. all ancient curses and alternate dimensions are fair game. cosmic regime changes ARE on the table. 90% chance that one of them ends up in a coma.
11K notes · View notes
nefeviibata · 7 months ago
Video
“Okay. See buddy baby, that was your headline right there.“ Dean calls Castiel ‘baby’ instead of 'buddy’ - 2/?
6K notes · View notes
exhalcyon · 4 months ago
Photo
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
So, fun fact: there was a time when these knuckleheads had weekly alcohol-fueled Nintendo game nights until the infamous “game that shall not be named incident” of 2013. Moreau’s favorite game was 50-turn Mario Party because they were the longest nights :D Continuation of this: x
Next part here: x
3K notes · View notes