Tumgik
#crack content
fearthecoldblood · 2 years
Text
gehrman is the type of old man to say ‘back in my day’ when the hunter complains about having to fight beasts
8 notes · View notes
devil-doll13 · 11 months
Text
youtube
Jude
0 notes
rowenas-megacoven · 3 months
Text
Owen Wilson will never know just how much I love his little ordinary time-man character. In a cinematic universe of super geniuses and sorcerers and aliens and enhanced soldiers and thunder gods, all with crazy abilities, I love his littlest normal human analyst who started out solving time mysteries so, SO much, in my very heart, soul, bones. He’s just some guy but like… he’s NOT just some guy at the same time. Some of my MCU favourites I’ve had over a decade of getting to know them, yet here Mobius is, sitting comfy in one of my atriums like he’s always been there. He’s so soft and soothing and reasonable and safe. If I had to choose between travelling to all sorts of weird and wacky and wonderful places with the Gaurdians, maybe Thor, or sitting in a Burger King gossiping over a Whopper and a Slushie with Mobius, I’d absolutely choose Mobius. He just has this vibe. I totally get why Loki would sit eternally alone to let Mobius live freely. Just a lovely, stand-up lil fella. He is coded like a well-needed hug. Thinking of him right now.
833 notes · View notes
cosmicstarlatte · 1 year
Text
[Lucifer opens the door to see MC in a cage fight with a lower demon and a crowd cheering]
Mammon: Left hook, look out! I got money on ya!
MC: (Tackles and knocks the demon out)
Diavolo (announcing): Ohhh and they're out!!! The winner is MC!!!
[Mixed cheers and boo's]
All the brothers except Mammon: Oh shit Lucifer is back home early-
Lucifer:
Lucifer: Mammon?
The brothers: (nodding)
Lucifer:
Lucifer: Put me and Mammon in there next
---
edit: an awesome comic of this was done by the wonderful bahbahsven, check it out c':
5K notes · View notes
starreo · 3 months
Text
funny ideas they get while being intimate. mdni.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
before burying his cock in your fluttering wet hole, he wants to test something out! he wraps his hands around his dick, hovers the tip of his cock over your cunt and tries to spell his name on your entrance.
"guess what i wrote on your cunt-!?" he asks excitedly as you're begging him to put it in already.
gojo satoru. eren, atsumu, ness, reo, itadori, your favs <3
he's going down on you for the first time, ready to devour your slippery cunt, but ooh, he's got an idea-! wouldn't it be so funny if he just blew cold air into your hole?
turns out it wasn't funny, because you queefed and then got embarrassed about it, deciding to just do this some other day.
nice going...loser.
nagi seishiro, kaiser, sunarin, chifuyu, + ur favs
Tumblr media
© starreo 2023. do not copy, translate or repost .
813 notes · View notes
sgrumby · 1 year
Text
the changes to the dnd game license are SUCH a perfect example of corporate greed. imagine having such a huge and dedicated fanbase buying your product that podcasts spring up for it, and instead of recognising how lucky you are for that free publicity you try to claim 25% of their profits - which will almost certainly prevent many creators from using 5e as their game of choice. and then, on top of that, you implement an anti-homebrew policy.
read more here. I haven't seen anybody in fandom talking about this yet and if you enjoy anything derived from dnd - any TTRPG, any live play podcast, any creators - this will affect you. sign the open letter. tweet at them (#opendnd). send them an email. don't let them break the spirit of creativity that underpins TTRPGS.
4K notes · View notes
jeremyallenwrench · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Natalie Berzatto as Fak's Mom
1K notes · View notes
cryinganabell · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Can u tell what is my new hyperfixation is???
1K notes · View notes
tongjaitongjai · 1 year
Text
An AU where Merlin is literally a God in Mordred’s eyes. Like, a genuine God.
In this AU Mordred and Merlin’s relationship is not fucked up by prophecy. So, everytime, kindhearted Merlin saved Mordred without hesitation. And Mordred grew up in a Druid camp that reinforced the idea that Emrys was a literal god. So naturally, HE WORSHIPPED MERLIN.
Once Arthur became king and magic was legalised, Mordred came to Camelot to become a knight because that was the best way to serve Emrys.
But when he arrived at Camelot, he struggled to comprehend the fact that Merlin was… human???? A very clumsy one, in fact. The rest of Camelot, though might know about Merlin magic, did not know how great ‘Emrys’ actually was so they were just confused, concerned, and/or entertained by Mordred’s ‘crush’ on Merlin.
He would stare at Merlin the entire first meal they had together, and people would be like: awww, Sir Mordred is crushing on Merlin so hard!!
Mordred: Emrys??eats??food?Food??Is ?eaten?by? Emrys?emrys?consumes?meal????
Or when he saw Merlin tripped on the training field
Mordred: i think the area is cursed. Strongly cursed.
Leon: what—
Mordred: THEN WHY ELSE WOULD EMRYS TRIPPED?????
Arthur: So, how have you adjusted to life in Camelot so far? Is there anything that is bothering yo—
Mordred: Merlin
Arthur: what did my stupid manserva- I mean Court Sorcerer do-
Mordred: I saw him drank water today
Arthur:
Mordred: He just drinks water????? From glass?????? Like?? He drank?? Water???? You know??? Literal water????????????? For drinking???HE??needs??water?to??live?why??
Morgana: why did I saw Mordred ran out of the meeting room screaming that you guys are trying to ‘Destroy his faith in his religion’. You knights better not bully him because he is a druid and has magic—
Gwaine: I told him Merlin is not here because he needs to take a shit.
Lancelot: Hey, Mordred, I noticed that Merlin has not received the note I asked you to deliver to him yet.
Mordred: But I already send it to him?
Lancelot:
Lancelot: Tell me how
Mordred: I burned it at the altar
Lancelot: what altar—
Mordred: and pray to him, as one should???
Merlin: WHY IS THERE SOMEONE SCREAMING IN MY HEAD THAT I HAVE AN IMPORTANT MEETING TOMORROW AT NOON!?
Or when they went on a long mission or hunting and Merlin, out of his old habit, made food for the knights
Mordred: ‘this is the most excellent food ever had bestowed on me, I shall never forget about this Emrys. I will pray to you even harder. I am the luckiest Druid to ever live—- ‘
Percival: … is the stew that good?
part 1| part 2 | part 3
2K notes · View notes
gabugabs · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
that's reality tv babeeeyyy /// @infamous-if
605 notes · View notes
rei-is-hiding · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
maxellminidisc · 10 months
Text
Idk call me a fucking bitch or something but sometimes I get really sick of having watched something with a lot of depth, creativity, or some real sense of artistic exploration, and then wanting to share something about it on here, going to the tags to maybe find some gif sets or something and having to wade through the most reductive fanfic brained shit about it. Like maybe I dont want to see au's, self inserts, or god awful mischaracterizations somebody pulled out their ass about tragic figures or raconteurs in fiction or media. Maybe I would just like to appreciate and bask in what the story is giving me, maybe I'd like to entertain or a have a mature in depth discussion on what themes it may have for me and what other avenues of discussion it might prompt, what it may have spoken to me in terms of my experiences as someone with intersecting identities if it did and if it applied, all without reducing the goddamn story to shipping and shit.
1K notes · View notes
galahadwilder · 1 year
Text
Marinette and Adrien are dating and they are so, so happy but Marinette can’t help feeling like something is missing. Adrien is the perfect boyfriend, the perfect gentleman, so she feels like something is wrong with her—and then she realizes that what’s missing is Chat Noir.
She’s in love with Chat, always has been, and now that he’s moved on and found a girlfriend and stopped flirting with her she feels like something got carved out of her chest. And yeah they’re still best friends, still partners, but something about their easy camaraderie feels poisoned.
And Adrien simply isn’t Chat. He doesn’t have the same goofy side to him that she’s come to love.
She’s torn. She loves Adrien, she does, but she loves Chat too, and how is she supposed to choose between them? But she knows that if she did have to, she’d choose Chat, and it’s tearing her up inside.
Eventually, she tells Chat everything. How she feels like a monster for it. How she can barely eat because of it. Because she is in love with her boyfriend, she wants to marry him, but she is in love with Chat and she needs him like she needs air to breathe.
She and Adrien end up breaking up because he realizes she’s unhappy with him, even though he can’t figure out why. (Surprisingly, Ladybug’s confession is not part of his decision. He loves Marinette and wants her to be happy, even if it’s not with him.) That night, Ladynoir meet up, and Ladybug confesses to Chat again, and asks him out.
They decide to reveal identities.
About four blocks of Paris get to hear a very loud Ladybug scream of “SON OF A FUCKING BITCH”
(Luckily they both take it very well and they’re back to goo-ily dating each other within the hour, if slightly more goofy and relaxed with each other going forward)
1K notes · View notes
Text
continuation of my "alastor thinks asexual means asexual reproduction"
so I mixed up calling flowers asexual in my original post (although some plants can asexually reproduce), but the thing I was thinking about was them being unisexual and bisexual
Tumblr media
and it just made me think
vox: I am bisexual alastor, in his head: is vox secretly a plant????????
Tumblr media Tumblr media
putting it together he also has now come to the conclusion that rosie may think he is a plant too (she called him asexual once and he had to go through every organism in his head that can asexually reproduce)
he now thinks being a plant is just a metaphor for media/broadcast demons
and as I'm typing this it's getting even worse as I remember alastor says "now I know it's been a while since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast" (<- I have no fucking clue what this implies in this plant context but it sounds like he's making fun of vox for being a flower without a style (vox: "SINCE WHEN DID I SAY I WAS A FLOWER!?!??!?"))
someone should just teach him what they actually mean before it gets worse.
280 notes · View notes
cosmicstarlatte · 1 year
Text
MC's Livestream (Obey Me!)
MC: Welcome to my criiiiiib! [Trips and the camera cuts]
---
MC: ANYWAY let's explore!
We got BIG daddy in the house! [Close up of Lucifer reading before he notices and gives that death glare]
[Camera tries to focus on Mammon] Over here on this couch is our favorite little convict! Probably on house arrest! ("Oi! They got nothing!")
[Shakily zooms in on Levi's door] You do not go there. You never go there. It's very haunted, you can hear moaning every night.
Oh hey Satan! [Satan waves as he passes] That folks is our resident furry! [Camera gets knocked to the floor and viewers see MC running from Satan]
Woah the whore is actually home! Hi Asmo! [Zooms in on Asmo on his phone, he flicks off the camera but then smiles and blows a kiss] For the love of Dia I wanna be him so bad. Literal goals.
[Camera slightly zooms in on Beel in the kitchen] Crikey! Look at that beautiful beast feeding! Let's try to take a closer look though!
[Camera cuts off and on again,MC is covered in pudding, screaming and running from a rabid Beel]
[Close up of a snoozing Belphie] See guys he's not so scary! [MC pinches his cheeks] Haha tiny cow go moo moo! [Belphie opens his eyes and grabs MCs hand] "What are you doing? Actually you know what-"
[Belphie grabs the camera and the stream cuts off]
Tumblr media
⬦You might also like: Reality Show (Bros)︱Reality Show (Dateables)
3K notes · View notes
meowmeowmeowmeow4x · 21 days
Text
Supersons +1 prompt answer Parte Dos
Parte Uno
Original Prompt
Jon couldn't help but take a peek at the large metal ring constructed behind the massive form of Dr Fenton, its size and shape dwarfing man and son. He couldn't watch for much longer, however, as their encounter with Daniel was expedited by Damian's impatience. Maybe he was just itching for a fight, or a supervillain to beat down. Either way, as Superboy, it was his job to make sure Daniel walked out with all his limbs intact!
"Daniel Fenton." But Damian was interrupted just as fast as he had started.
"Ew, no, it's Danny thank you very much. Only my parents when they're angry, and- bleh- Vlad, call me Daniel."
Damian scowled (he was doing that a lot today). "Daniel Fenton, we have some questions for you."
"Guess that's not gonna happen."
Time to intervene. Jon stepped between Damian and Danny, arms outstretched, with a friendly but diplomatic smile. "What Damian here means is we're suuuuper curious about your dad's research, aren't you Damian?"
"...Yes."
"If you wanna know more about my Dad's research, why don't you uhh." Danny bobbed his head at Mr Fenton's direction, the man in the midst of grabbing onto an unfortunate bystander and extolling the virtues of his next invention.
"Your father has proven lacking in his ability to explain his own work, which is why the responsibility now falls on to you, Daniel Fenton, if that's even your real name."
Wow, laying it on real thick, aren't you Damian.
Danny very pointedly ignores the death stare (hehe, death stare) from Dami to look to Jon. "And you are...?"
"Jon, I'm here with my dad too! He's a reporter, but some of this stuff's got me bored out of my mind. I mean, a flying toilet? Really??"
This manages to get a chuckle out of Danny. "You saw that too? And here I thought I'd get to see some normal inventions around here."
"I know right! I feel subconscious even with bathroom stalls and stuff. What are you gonna do, bring a flying curtain?"
"Honestly I know some folks back home who could find it handy." Danny said, a mysterious smirk on his lip. What could be so mysterious about a bunch of streakers back home? Or...
"Would you like to elaborate on that statement, Fenton?" Damian cut in. "Or the function of the garish-looking gateway erected by your Father?"
"Oh that? That's the Fenton PortaPortal."
"Porta what?" Jon asked.
"The Porta Portal. Portable Portal. It's like the one back home, 'cept it's light enough to move around."
"Portal to where exactly?"
Danny shrugs. "The Ghost Zone, where else?"
"You mean to say your parents have breached the afterlife using science?"
"Hah!" Danny laughs. "But it won't work, trust me." There was that knowing grin again.
"You seem pretty sure, Danny. Also wait, you have one of these back home?"
"Yeah, and it let in the raging hordes of the undead on my town. Overshadowing (that's possession btw), taking over the school with meat, box-based assault, replacing people like changelings, that one time a ghost tried to blow up my sister with a laser, that one time the Ghost King kidnapped the entire town and transported it to the Realms..." Danny listed out various dangerous situations like it was Tuesday, ignorant of the dawning horror upon his audience's faces. Jon himself was starting to feel a little green. Ghosts? Hundreds of ghosts? Each of them capable of possession, and according to Danny, much more?!
"How has the Justice League not heard of this kind of thing?" Jon tried, but failed to hide the slight shiver in his voice.
Danny shrugged. "Guess they dismissed our calls as pranks or something."
"Your father wishes to unleash the legions of undead upon Gotham?!" Damian stepped forward, getting up in Danny's face.
"Woah woah woah, chill out man. Mom and Dad actually learned from the last time and built like eight layers of shielding around the portal, not that it'll be necessary since it won't work anyway."
"And why are you so sure? Did you sabotage it? For whwat purpose would you tamper with your own parents' inventions?"
"Dami, maybe we shouldn't jump to conclusions." Jon said, trying to pull Damian away without any obvious use of super strength.
"Yeah Dami, I'm just a kid, like you. You see an engineering degree anywhere that can be used to sAboTAgE anything? 'Cause I don't."
Damian glared at the other boy for just a second longer, before Jon was finally able to pry him off the poor kid. "I'm so sorry, Damian's just kinda intense sometimes, he really means well I-"
"It's fine. Besides, I'm bored as hell over here too. Since we're about sixty-nine million years below the average age of this place. what say we hang and laugh?" Danny got up and stretched his legs.
"Sure! Hey you seen the oven that's supposed to bake pizza in under ten seconds? Come on, Damian spotted this amazing design flaw, you just have to come with."
As Jon dragged them away, Damian muttered under his breath, deviously. "Good job, Kent, escorting Fenton to a secondary location for further questioning."
~~~~~ They spent the next hour roaming the convention centre, laughing and snorting their lungs out at the inventions, and the rich suckers lapping them up. Although Damian was initially as frosty as Superman's ice breath, Danny's mention of a glowing green ghost dog managed to gain his attention, if veiled behind suspicion and accusation. Looks like no squeezing was necessary, but the idea of a whole town of magical beings that possessed as easily as they breathed still made Jon nauseous.
"My parents actually get me keep him, without the threat of dissection, it's amazing!"
"Your parents dissect animals?" Damian spat out with all the hatred of a thousand dying suns.
"Ghosts, and they never have. Kept getting away. For some reason. Nowadays they're more into non-invasive study. and by non-invasive I mean totally invasive of things like privacy, and alone time." Danny grumbled.
"I feel you, man." Imagine having a dad with super hearing. Or growing up with the world's greatest stalkers.
"Privacy is an illusion." Damian being normal challenge IMPOSSIBLE
They had no more time to banter before Dr Fenton's booming voice echoed across the centre.
"AND NOW FOR THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, THE SHOWCASE OF THE FENTON PORTAPORTAL AND THE LATEST IN FENTON SURVEILLANCE TECHNOLOGY, BEHOLD!"
"Just watch." Danny said.
Jack slammed his fist upon the on button, which was thankfully on the outside this time. The circular rings around the portal spun and spun, creating an electric whirring sound building up to a crescendo...
Only for the portal to fizzle out, as the crowd's jeers reached a fever pitch.
"Told you so."
Danny's triumph lasted not for another minute, however, when his body shivered and a cold mist broke through his lips. "Shit." He muttered. At least Jon and Damian were looking away. Danny's eyes scanned the crowd. Jack Fenton's sorrow was wiped away as the sensors in his suit came to life. He whipped out a comically large ecto-gun, shouting. "I KNEW IT! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK FROM GHOSTS!!!"
Danny needed look no longer as piercing laughter filled the auditorium. A swarm of green bats descended upon the centre, causing chaos and confusion. Those among the crowd sensible enough to run for the exits found themselves halted by bars locking them shut. Jack opened fire, but was overwhelmed by dozens of ghost bats.
Danny looked for anywhere he could silp away and transform. Damian and Jon did the same. None of them could an opportunity, as two pairs of hands swept them off their feet, and bindings tied them together. Their eyes widened as they gazed upon their captors. Two men adorned with white face paint. One in a gothic waistcoat, the other with green hair and a purple suit.
The infamous Joker, and the not as infamous Freakshow, both in hysterical laughter.
"I really gotta give it to you Danny-boy, that sabotage act you pulled really put us for a loop!" The Joker gasped out between laughs. He pulled out a remote with a large red button. "But I, the Joker, have out-sabotaged your sabotage! AHAHAHAH"
The Joker pressed the buttom, causing the portal to roar back to life.
"Damian!" Bruce Wayne yelled.
"Jon!" Clark Kent shouted.
"DANNY BOY!" Jack cried out, but they were too late to stop the swarm of bats carrying all three boys through the newly reactivated portal, and were too late to follow before the whole thing blew to pieces in a fiery halo.
To be continued....
215 notes · View notes