#crackfic

[prokopetz]

I understand that The Amazing Digital Circus is ripe for "what if the main character snapped and killed everybody" crackfic, but y'all, if Pomni went off the deep end she would not be your sexy glitchcore murderwife. She'd do it screaming and flailing, and it'd make Tom and Jerry sound effects the whole time she's killing you.

#media #cartoons #animation #web animation #the amazing digital circus #tadc #pomni #fandom #fanfic #crackfic #violence mention #death mention #bonk bonk bonk doonk SPROING #that's what your death would sound like

[nerdpoe]

Batman goes into the Infinite Realms to speak with the dead Lord of Time-he leaves with more than he realizes.

He feels...off. Hungrier than normal. Moodier.

If he's not in Gotham he actually starts to feel faint.

But if he's fighting crime in Gotham he tires more easily, like he's doing three times the amount of work than normal.

And then there's feeling like the city itself is...helping him?

Arkham hasn't been more secure. Joker keeps trying to escape but every attempt is foiled. Major players can't do big schemes, as something always goes wrong.

Harley catches up to him one day as he's catching his breath, and eyeballs him.

"...Huh. You too huh?"

Batman doesn't understand.

"Like with Canary. Like with me. Didn't know you was trans, but I guess it's your turn to be up the duff."

Batman wishes he still didn't understand.

But he'd gone to an impossible place before this happened, and he calls up the closest magic user he can.

And yup.

In his chest, there's three Cores-the integral heart of a being from the Infinite Realms.

Zatanna says that they're gathering strength, energy; enough to manifest physical forms.

The triplets are due in two months. Apparently, they'll just pop into existence in front of him.

Batman...is actually prepared, this was contingency 74-51-A-2.84. He has contingencies for everything.

It's amazing how few people understand that.

His family, less prepared.

With the exception of Tim, they are...well. They're freaking the fuck out.

@simplestoryteller

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #the cores are the dannies #danni #danny #and dan #the chaotic three #will they pop into existence as babies #or as teens? #idk up to whoever picks this up #does this count as mpreg? #no like seriously does this count? #fuck it #mpreg #there #crackfic #crack prompt

[kuroishuuha]

DP x DC prompt - Buried Bodies

The Joker hasn’t been seen for a while and it was concerning.

Danny just wanted to live a quiet life, well as quiet as an un-aging and immortal could live in a new dimension. He swears it was an accident. He didn’t mean to kill the weirdo clown. In his defense, the clown attacked him first. In his panic, he forgot about reporting the incident to the police and figured hiding the body was the best bet.

He just didn’t expect to be caught.

The last thing Jason expected when walking around Gotham was to catch a teen hauling Joker’s dead body through the park and attempting to bury it.

So he did what any Gothamite would have done when confronted with Joker’s dead body.

He offered his help.

Imagine their surprise when they realize they were neighbors.

Well as they say, people who bury bodies together, stay together.

#dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #danny phantom #danny fenton #jason todd #crackfic #dp x dc art #dp x dc

[your-local-baguette]

Funny moments as sanemi's wife

Warnings: not proofread, cursing and more. Fem!reader, proceed at your own risk. Sexual reference

Your daughter was sitting on your lap while sanemi was sitting next to you. The other hashiras conversing, a high pitched voice suddenly interrupted the conversation " mommy, what's a hooker ?" Everybody froze, your five year old looked up at you curiously. You looked at your husband with a forced smile. He side-eyed you "what ?" Your eye twitched "you're not safe when we're getting home" he looked at you "as if you could hurt me-" "don't play with fire shinaguzawa"

'shit' sanemi said in his head, if you calling him sanemi is bad then shinaguzawa....

He swore to never provoke you ever again.

--------------------------------------------------

You felt a palm on your butt, your head made a slow turn towards your husband who gave it a slap. You blinked slowly at him, you didn't even have the ghost of a smile on your face. You flipped him off and walked away.

--------------------------------------------------

You started coughing a little "my throat is sore.." you in said a quiet voice. Sanemi glanced at you "sucked my dick too much last night ?" Your mouth was slightly agape, while some other hashira were looking (muichiro isn't here) the ghost of a smirk was quick to disappear from your face. "Weren't you moaning like a bitch last night ?" The conversation ended and sanemi was grumpy at you the rest of the day. "Get a taste of your own medicine" you said rolling your eyes playfully.

--------------------------------------------------

I'm back in my demon slayer phase lol.

If you want more crack like this you can always suggest scenarios.

Love u byye!

#demon slayer fanfiction #demon slayer fanfic #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer #sanemi shinaguzawa x reader #sanemi #sanemi x reader #sanemi shinaguzawa #crack #crackfic #demon slayer crack

[mitsuristoleme]

I just saw your requests are open so I might as well jump in BECAUSE SKDNDNSN ok buttttt what about sukuna + his tummy having a mind of its own BEFORE you were their wife, like, you know nothing about this man but everytime you come in sigh you hear the most direct cat calling you've come across only to see a man with an expression of "God kill me now" so you don't know what's happening but it makes you really curious so you just... Provoke him? Like, use revealing clothing, put on an expensive perfume, etc. AAAH I Just love that hc of his stomach mouth having a mind of its own istg aaaa

a/n: ok so im gonna write this in a modern au because lets be real heian era Sukuna did NOT care about dating/courting

formatted into a bullet point headcannon post because im having way too much fun with this and nothing is connected in a cohesive form (pls forgive me for that but my brain is going ham with this concept)

cw: gn!reader, cursing, sexual content, bestie!gojo, Sukuna’s tummy mouth is a menace but wbk

imagine you’re a teacher at jujutsu high and a special grade sorcerer (because i enjoy feeling strong and this is a little self indulgent) (yall can choose if you want to be gojo’s classmate or nanami’s it doesn’t really impact anything)

Sukuna gets reincarnated without a vessel (dont ask me how it just happens ok) and to everyone’s surprise, he volunteers to be an instructor at jujutsu high

he says its to “make these pathetic kids somewhat decent sorcerers so they dont ruin the name of jujutsu”

for whatever reason, the higher ups assign him a spot among the teachers at the school

imagine your shock when this 1000 year old 7 foot tall motherfucker shows in the middle of your class to introduce himself as the new teacher

you’d heard about his whole situation but you didn’t expect him to show up in the middle of a lesson

you attempt to shoo him away but he doesn’t even move (i mean what did you expect really?) and you’re forced to end class early

weirdly enough he keeps a hand clamped over his stomach the entire exchange?? you chalk it down to a stomach ache or something (that night you do wonder if curses, or er, the king of curses, even get physical pains)

ok so before i get into the whole thing lemme just-

in my head, the tummy mouth has the humour of a middle school boy and the self control of the dog from ‘absolutely anything’

so yk. its a mess.

you see him the next day in the staff room

hes wearing a starched white shirt (it accommodates all his four arms and you question how he got one made in a single day) and a pair of fitted slacks, looking WAY too good for a curse

you realise you’ve been staring through the glass window if the staff room and finally enter

only to be greeted by a LOUD wolf whistle followed by a “OOOOH HEY HOT THANG” in the deepest, raspiest, most demonic ass voice you’ve ever heard

sukuna looks like he wants to kill himself.

he gets up and leaves the room immediately

you hear the a faint “NO GO BACK AND FLIRT WITH THEM YOU WIMP ASS HOE” in the same demonic voice as he stalks away

and you’re standing there

wondering what the actual fuck just happened

did you just experience harassment in your workplace?? but his mouth never even moved???

Gojo enters the staff room right after Sukuna vanishes and you IMMEDIATELY fill him in on whatever happened in hopes that he would have any explanation

hes confused, curious and amused all the same time

this doesnt mean hes of any help though

no, the piece if shit just laughs at you and goes off to terrorise the first years take class

before leaving he very unhelpfully reminds you that you have to share classes with Sukuna today

you enter the classroom a couple minutes before the students (you literally have 4 students and one of them is a panda god knows what the point of 2 teachers for such a small class is) and find Sukuna already in the room, leaning back on the chair, his legs resting on the table, eyes closed

once again

looking WAY too fine

just as you internally celebrate that nothing weird happened THE SAME OLD DEMONIC VOICE booms a “DAMN BABY YOU LOOK FINE, CMON LEMME TAKE YA HOME”

“wha- I- Eh??? I’m sorry what the fuhck?!?” you sputter, eyes wide

Sukuna has leaped up from his chair, a mixture of embarrassment and murderous rage on his face

he hisses a “shut the fuck up” in the vague direction of his abdomen before turning to you and apologising

“i am so sorry,” he says sheepishly “i owe you an explanation at the very least after two incidents”

“OI DONT APOLOGISE ASK THEM OUT THEY’RE HOT AND I KNOW YOU THINK SO TOO”

“I WILL LITERALLY FUCKING SEW YOU SHUT IF YOU DONT STAY FUCKING QUIET”

and once again. you’re standing there. shook.

Sukuna turns to you again with an expression that clearly says ‘Gods please strike me down right now’ and asks if you know about him having multiple body parts

you’ve heard of the legends and stories: four eyes, four arms and mouths he can will to appear wherever he wants, so you nod

“Well it just so happens that the mouth on my stomach is sentient, and extremely vulgar. Although i’m sure you noticed the latter.”

his voice is a wonderful contrast to that of his tummy mouth

deep, melodic and smooth

he just got even more attractive.

fuck.

you realise you haven’t given him a response and nod dumbly muttering out a quick “uh-huh”

thankfully the students enter at that moment saving you from any awkwardness

what you have recently come to identify as Sukuna’s tummy mouth stays blissfully quiet throughout the class and shockingly enough the silence on the belly front continues throughout the day as you discuss lesson plans with your ridiculously hot coworker

that night as you’re getting ready for bed, you remember the exchange between Sukuna and his appendage (specifically the part about Sukuna thinking you’re hot) and a mischievous idea forms in your brain (hey gojo satoru’s influence was bound to kick in at some point)

the next day you leave the top few buttons of your work shirt undone and put on some of the pheromone perfume you got as a gag gift in an (what you presume to be potentially successful) effort to rile Sukuna up (lets be real you think hes pretty damn hot too)

clap yourself on the back for that one bestie because the second you enter the staff room, Sukuna’s eyes nearly bulge out of his skull and the tummy mouth starts BARKING

and drooling apparently (how do you know? well maybe because the front of sukuna’s pristine white dress shirt is now sopping wet)

“WIFE THEM UP I SWEAR TO-“

the sound of a coffee cup shattering interrupts whatever was gonna come after that

you’re met with Nanami’s incredibly unimpressed gaze

without saying anything he leaves the room, muttering, “its too early for whatever the fuck this is”

well.

that happened.

yall get together eventually

gojo tells you “i knew you wanted to fuck him”

before you can come up with any sort of response, your boyfriend’s stomach pipes in with a “OH HE DEFINITELY WANTED TO FUCK THEM”

this is your life now.

good luck.

a/n: HI IM HERE TOO THIS TIME!! i left the ‘getting together part kinda up to interpretation because im shit at writing the ‘getting together’ arcs but we’re gonna pretend like it was because i want you to be able to go wild with whatever you want

please dont copy or repost my work without my permission

comments and reblogs are appreciated

check out my masterlist

dividers by @/vanillekiss

#kay gets requests #ryomen sukuna x y/n #ryomen sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #sukuna crackfic #crackfic #jjk crack #jjk crackfic #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fanfic #sukuna fluff #sukuna ryomen #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #ryomen x reader #jjk ryomen

[bellaxisworld]

february 23, @jegulus-microfic prompt: alley. word count: 519

crackfic. enjoy!

James Potter was not known for making very smart decisions. In fact, on any given day, it could be said that James Potter was undoubtedly, one-hundred-percent, certainly making bad, bad, very poor choices. His very loving friends knew to keep an eye out for his dangerous shenanigans. Mostly, his dangers were accidental. He was clumsy or did something stupid—by accident. He was labeled as a local hazard. 

Unfortunately for everyone, today was no different. 

James took a shortcut home—through a dark and dingy alley; none of its grim qualities raised any alarm bells in his head. He was skipping alone, minding his own—when he came across a miracle. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜。.

Regulus was having a peaceful evening—a rare occurrence, being the boyfriend of one local hazard named James Potter. Regulus was relaxed, curled up sitting with a book by the window, watching the rain pitter-patter away.

The door banged open and Regulus sighed heavily, expecting chaos to ensue. James was a storm, barging into every room like some kind of natural disaster. But oh, did Regulus adore him, and every moment spent with James was worth it. James’ chaos was simply endearing, even if Regulus needed to be on high-alert all the time. 

James crashed into the room holding a—

“What the fuck?”

James positively beamed, “Regulus! I found a—I don’t even know, honestly, what this is—I think it’s some kind of miracle!” 

The furry gray thing in James’ arms was wriggling. 

James continued, “Reg, I just found it an alley, can you believe it? It must be some kind of-of miracle animal breeding, really—it looks like a cat and a dog had a baby!” He sounded so giddy.

Regulus squealed, backing away from his boyfriend, “James—” 

“Or perhaps a panda? It has weird fur lines around its eyes—” James was looking at the animal curiously, held up to his eyeline.

Regulus held his arms around his stomach protectively. “Potter! That is not a hybrid—”

James looked up, excited. “You’ve seen this before?”

He was about to have a meltdown. James just brought an alley rodent into their shoebox apartment. “It’s a fucking racoon, James!” 

James’ childish wonder did not fade. “What’s a—a raccoon?” 

“That! That thing, with the gray fur and dark mask around its eyes—and the stripy tail. A raccoon. Raccoons, James, are not friendly animals—”

James scoffed. “Please, Reg—he’s plenty friendly. I still think he’s a panda-cat-dog mix.” 

“He’s a rodent!”

James gasped. “Like Peter?”

“Yes! Just like Peter, but bigger and probably carrying more diseases from some dingy alley.” 

James was just standing by the front door, examining the rather calm rodent in his arms. The raccoon was large—James was holding it with both arms wrapped around. James looked rather put-out. He looked up at Regulus with wide eyes. “So—you won’t—I mean, we can’t—keep him?” 

Regulus blinked at him. “No, sweetheart. We’re not keeping him. Hazard behavior, James.” 

James and the raccoon said their goodbyes, but James never forgot his miracle. He kept a picture of the raccoon in his wallet. 

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ dedicating this to everyone who fed into my raccoon fanatics the past few weeks. im losing the plot, but it's just a bit of fun <3

#im imagining raccoons are not well-known by wizarding standards and that wherever he lives there are raccoons #continuity errors who cares #crackfic #microfic #jegulus #jegulus microfic #jegulus ao2 #james potter #regulus black #marauders #ao3 #starchaser #sunseeker #marauders era #the marauders #fanfic #james x regulus #regulus x james #marauders hp #hp marauders #harry potter marauders #harry potter james potter #hp james potter #hp fanfic #hp regulus black #bellaxis #bellaxis ao3 #bellaxis microfic #bella writes

[aethon-recs]

Hi! Thank you for all your recs. I have downloaded most of them and read most of them during my 2 weeks family vacation. They were great. I was wondering if you could recommend me any tomarry crack fics that are hilarious.

This was such a fun ask, thank you for sending this in! I had a ton of fun revisiting some old favorites in this ship that made me laugh and cry-laugh and then laugh some more. As I was rereading and sorting through the fics on this list, I noticed a few recurring themes that came up... coffeeshop AUs, social media fics, funeral-themed fics(!???), and a myriad of food-themed fics. 

I really hope you enjoy this selection of hilarious silly clever witty cracky takes on Tomarrymort 🤍

*

Tomarrymort Crack Recs

A Slice of Heaven by jellybeantarot (M, 3k, complete)

Tom is a sex worker under an agency that masks as a pizzeria, Harry orders a large sausage pizza, and yep, that's a dick in a pizza box.

almost got in a knife fight after work (a thread) / things i’ve learned since dating knife boy (a follow-up thread) by chaoscookiescrimes  (T, 2k, complete)

just Harry @'thechosenone' All im saying is a pocketknife is a purchase you’ll almost never regret.

and they were roommates by @purplemineralwater (M, 3k, complete)

Tom and Harry, roommates and stars of Gogglebox, are adored by their fans. Unbeknown to them, the fans of the show want them to be more than friends.

cam and get it by @swoontodeath (E, 3k, WIP)

Harry Potter isn't one for pornography. He's got a perfectly adequate imagination, thank you very much, not to mention a fully functional right hand. One accidental glimpse of Tom Riddle's arse, though, threatens to change everything.

Coffee Moste Evile by @wynnefic (T, 4k, complete)

After graduating Hogwarts, Tom finds work at Borgin & Burke's, where he diligently sells the darkest of arts(-themed coffee and pastries).

Dark Lord Coffee by @being-luminous (T, 4k, complete)

In which Voldemort runs his empire from a coffee shop, and wizards are generally very ridiculous.

Dearly Beloved by @wynnefic (T, 3k, complete)

Worn down after countless demands, Harry breaks and finally goes on a date with the incredibly ostentatious, vain, and self-absorbed Tom Marvolo Riddle the Third. A few days later, he attends Tom's funeral, which goes much better.

Do You Want Fries With That? (part 1) / Tom's Time Has Fry-nally Come (part 2) by jellybeantarot (T, 16k, complete)

Harry really needed some money, Dumbledore needed someone to dress up as Wendy, and Tom was the only one with the desperation to be Ronald McDonald.

found you sleeping in my coffin by @the-wig-is-a-metaphor (M, 6k, complete)

Harry gets turned into a vampire. For better or worse, Tom is there to help.

Full circle by tetsurashian (NR, 67k, WIP)

Harry and Tom’s souls are tied together. Which is why they’re in this endless loop of rebirth. At some point, they stopped caring and just started fucking with people.

Harry James [Redacted] by @duplicitywrites (T, 24k, WIP)

It had been three weeks since Harry had mistakenly landed in the 1970s, given his name to Dumbledore as Harry James, and been re-Sorted as a Slytherin. He's now broken the timeline, busted his parents' first date, and potentially botched his chances of ever being born. And, just maybe, he's also caught the attention of a certain rising Dark Lord.

Harry Potter and the—Well, Anything But This by @cindle-writes (E, 21k, WIP)

It’s 12 years after the war has ended that Death sends Harry back in time to fix the timeline and save his soulmate. Except there's one catch. Harry has to start over again from his first year.

Hiss Hiss by @vdoshu (G, 1k, complete)

Harry goes to buy himself a pet for Christmas. Tom sees this as an opportunity.

Inventing Paradoxes (part 1) / Deconstructing Paradoxes (part 2) by @perhaps-sunlight (G, 75k, complete)

When budding Dark Lord Tom Riddle overhears a prophecy predicting his demise at the hands of Harry Potter, he hatches a devious and brilliant plan: befriend the enemy, master the power-that-he-knows-not, and then eliminate him.

Keeping Your Human-Child Horcrux Happy in Captivity; A Guide to Enrichment (part 1) / The Horcrux Hotline (part 2) by @cannibalinc (M, 9k, complete)

A self-improvement series for Dark Lords with troublesome human-horcruxes. 

Local Preteens Entrap Murderous Wraith (You Won’t Believe What Happens Next) by @being-luminous (T, 22k, complete)

Harry, Ron, and Hermione discover a spell. They decide to perform it, and no one is pleased with the result.

Magically Delicious by @dividawrites, @duplicitywrites (E, 10k, complete)

Draco Malfoy is selling 'Voldemort Bathwater Boxes' at Hogwarts for questionable, unknown reasons. Harry is more curious than he should be, and this has disastrous consequences for everyone... but mostly for Harry.

no amount of therapy can help by @the-wig-is-a-metaphor (G, 2k, WIP)

The entire internet is aware of occultist youtuber Lord Voldemort's infatuation with niche content creator JustHarry. The entire internet is baffled.

no helping hand by TheOnceandFutureQueenofTarts (M, 2k, complete)

Harry just wants to have a wank; Voldemort just wants to make that as difficult and unsatisfying as possible.

Once a Paw a Time by @youlighttheskyfanfiction (T, 3k, complete)

In which Tom is still Tom, and Harry is a black cat intent on making Tom miserable. Or happy. Who knows? Certainly not Harry the cat who is absolutely just a normal cat.

Oversight by @dividawrites (E, 21k, WIP)

Voldemort’s resurrection ritual doesn’t go as smoothly as he’d planned. He requires assistance and there’s only one person he can ask—the boy tied to his father’s gravestone.

Prison Blues by @metalomagnetic (E, 68k, WIP)

Harry and Voldemort find themselves locked up in a mysterious prison.

r/AITA by @seagate-blog (G, 3k, complete)

A budding relationship seen through the eyes of Reddit posts.

Right in Front of My Salad? by IceLynx (T, 2k, complete)

In which Draco Malfoy is dead in the kitchen, Harry is regretting moving in with his boyfriend, and Tom has never been more in love.

Stories Told at Your Funeral by IceLynx (G, 5k, complete)

Tom Riddle fakes his death. To Harry Potter, the man in charge of Tom's funeral, it's all very vexing. Harry might be an undertaker, but this is a very different undertaking.

Terms and Conditions May Apply by @duplicitywrites (T, 17k, WIP)

Lord Voldemort gets one chance at a new life. This new chance comes with a lot of conditions.

The Potter Problem by Icefall (T, 8k, complete)

During his twenty-fourth time loop, Lord Voldemort meets Harry Potter at a Muggle nightclub.

The Way to a Man’s Heart by @mosiva (T, 26k, complete)

Tom has an unknown nemesis. Harry has Tom’s lunch.

The Voice of Victory by @vdoshu (T, 3k, complete)

Lord Voldemort loves a good villain speech. Harry’s just the sort to interrupt him.

Thigh High by @kushimanii (T, 400, complete)

There, covering Harry’s long, smooth legs, were the most horrifying things Tom had ever seen. And Harry was lying in their bed with them. Tom knew what his new Boggart was.

Until Midnight Comes by @dividawrites (E, 26k, complete)

A few years after the war Harry reluctantly attends a party at Malfoy Manor. He drinks a few too many and runs into a handsome man called Tom. What happens after is definitely not a drunken error in judgement—it’s love at first, blurry sight instead.

Welcome to the Cultys by @duplicitywrites (E, 12k, WIP)

Harry had two main regrets in his life: 1. Asking the question “What if I set up a mock awards show to get cult leaders to show up for my thesis study?” 2. Responding with “That is hilarious” when Ron had suggested they call the awards show 'The Cultys'.

Would You Still Love Me? by @chiocchi (M, comic/artwork, WIP)

"Harry, would you still love me if I was a snake?" Harry knows how this question works. No matter how deranged and unreasonable it is, he has to say yes. A notion he may come to regret once Tom's questions start to get darker and oddly specific.

yer a monster fucker, harry by @exarite (M, 3k, complete)

Voldemort suggests they fake a relationship. It's a reasonable suggestion, so of course Harry says yes.

*

#tomarrymort #tomarry #harrymort #aethon recs #tomarry recs #tomarrymort recs #harrymort recs #hp fic recs #ao3 recs #fanfic recs #crack #crack recs #crackfic #tomarrymort crack

[v0xtvdemon]

Crackfic but I haven't written in a bit

Well, here we go. I made this one short because my head's a bit empty right now but I must write-

Type: Crackfic (Written somewhat seriously)

Vox x Alastor (One-Sided)

Words: 478

Vox sat at his computer screens, all had lost signal from him going a bit overboard because of Alastor, his rival that he hated very much and did not have a crush on at all. That damn radio demon had managed to take over Vox’s thoughts again.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” Vox yelled, putting clawed hands over his own face in embarrassment. “What the FUCK am I supposed to do now…:

Ah, right… pretend Alastor treated him seriously…for the 5th time in 3 days.

Vox silently moved to ‘VoxDocs’, another thing he created that also had his name in it, upon entering the application he was reminded of the many documents he had created about him and Alastor. They ranged from ways to confess to full on fanfiction created of the two. Neither Valentino nor Velvette knew about these secret documents. They would’ve questioned him way too much about it at best.

Checking back to see if anyone entered without him noticing, a new document was opened and immediately titled ‘Alastor gives me attention’. It was all he wanted at the moment. Attention from his…rival.

“I swear if someone walks in I’m going to destroy them.” Vox muttered, focusing on the fanfiction he was writing.

‘I look up to the screens in front of me, grinning as Alastor begins to mock me with his pathetic voice and choice of words. His attempted insults mean nothing to me but it’s amusing to watch him try, after all it showed who was the more powerful.

Anything he said about me, hell even insults about me being weaker than both Valentino and Velvette, were useless and it was obviously getting to him by now. Or it should’ve.

Alastor was stupid enough to ignore the lack of effect his words had on me, he was completely unaware I was gaining more power from his attention!’

Perfect, absolutely perfect. Vox loved the idea of Alastor’s attention even if it was purely insults. After all they were rivals, it was perfectly normal for one to want the other’s attention, ignoring the fact Alastor only saw him as a joke and nowhere near a rival.

“Ah Alastor..your attention is what I crave..besides Valentino not losing his shit for one day.”

“What-” A voice somewhere behind Vox said, causing him to turn around roughly 188 degrees given the fact he was leaning slightly and wasn’t turning straight around because of that.

“VALENTINO FUCK OFF” Vox yelled, covering the screen as best as he could while the moth had the blankest stare known to demons ever. “Did you stare at a light for 4 hours again?!”

“Light”

“Fucking dammit” Vox growled, grabbing the other’s arm to go drag him away from the tv screens projecting way too much light for Val’s brain to handle.

Of course, distracted from making his amazing fanfiction once again.

#hazbin hotel staticradio #hazbin hotel radiostatic #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel alastor #vox x alastor #staticradio #radiostatic #hazbin hotel fanfiction #crackfic

[sinning-23]

Shake a'lil Ass

OPLA Reaction to you shaking ass, and shaking it well.

I already told yall this was my current hyperfixation I'm going all in and losing my fucking marbles in the process. Uhhhh yeah! Enjoy

Warnings: none really? like may e a PINCH of nsfw but you'll live lol, metions of shakin ass, and catching it.

Zoro

-Not really a jaw drop but his eyes get kinda big. Like he knew you had ass but to see it move like fuckin water was definitely an awakening

-Won't go out of his way to stare but will side-eye the fuck outta you when you do like a lil twerk, just barely shaking your ass in little circles. He loves that tbh.

-NOW IT'S A DIFFERENT STORY IF Y'ALL ARE IN AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP

-Not that he's not gonna be mad if you're shaking as in one of the various bars they made to find their way in cause he can fight. God forbid some stranger tries to catch what is rightfully his. It's game over

-On the off chance that he actually dances with you, be prepared for his hands to be on your hips, handling anything you throw back. You might even get him to bite his lip a lil.

-If you ask him to shake ass he won't. you WILL NOT convince him. Even if it's just for a little bit, and no one is around. No ma'am no ham no spam

Luffy

-The first time he caught you twerk a lil bit was when you happened to be mopping the deck. However, the mop acted as a pole for you to keep your balance while you were in more or less a squat position, ass moving up and down.

-“What are you doing?”

-He really didn’t know what that was but he knew for a FACT he had to see it again…for research and demonstration purposes.

-Tried to catch it, but kinda of failed. Doesn’t try again but will definitely watch you when you throw it back.

-Doesn’t really have a problem with you finding another dance partner that can shake ass with you.

-He's already 5 steps ahead when a dude tries to come behind you.

-Just know before he can get his hands on you he’s being yanked back by a stretchy pair of arms and a smile that is more threatening than friendly

-He’s loved dancing with you and is more than happy to keep his hands on your hips when you throw it slow.

-His eyes get this kinda low, focused look, and somehow his lip always ends up tucked between his teeth. And there’s ALWAYS a blush rising to his cheeks.

-Gives a low, “okayyyyy.” To kinda hype you up

-What can he say his girl's so talented and beautiful and he gets to have her allll to himself.

-WHAT?! He’s allowed to be a bit possessive 😌

Sanji

-GYATTTT DAMN. Like he's stared before cause who wouldn't stare at you even when you're not twerking.

-The MINUTE he hears a beat drop and sees you sprint over to a space wide enough for your antics he's up and ready to protect you from creeps. (but also there to enjoy the show tbh)

-Never seen somebody twerk in a split before but now he has and the memory of you is tucked in a special folder in his brain...for safekeeping.

-Personally, he likes it when you have your random twerk moments. it could be the most simple task you're doing and you sneak in a lil jiggle just cause.

-In an established relationship best believes he's behind you, trying his damndest to keep up. one hand on your hip, the other taking a drag from his cigarette.

-Ok...maybe he'll try a little shake if you ask long enough, and he surprisingly got some cake back there. (whatchu doin with all that ass)

Nami

-That's my best friend, she a real bad bitch

-As your certified bestie... 9 times out of 10 she's shaking ass with you...her knees pop sometimes (hot girls with bad joints)

-Give her a break she don't do this often

-She tries and has gotten significantly better, learning from the best (you)

-In a relationship with her best believe your shakin ass on her. Like that's a given and gad damn can she catch whatever is thrown at her.

-She gets hella into it too, a focused look in her eyes with her lower lip tucked between her teeth

-Good music? a few drink in your systems? I mean there's already a dance circle formjng and there the two of you are throwing ass and catchign it for one another.

-She shakes her thighs a lot when shes alone and that ultimately turns into a lil twerk circle when shes feelin herself.

-'Oh wow...my ass kinda fat in this?" she smiles, turnng to the side to admire her figure.

-She gets kinda silly with it, chanting 'aye aye aye" or "fuck it up! fuck it up!"

-Nami = best twerk partner

Usopp

-Thinks he can catch it

-Is quickly proven TF WRONG. He miscalculated how much effort goes into that and damn he got overwhelmed fast

-Jesus Christ woman why you got so much ass like wtf

-He can’t catch it but he will grab two big handfuls of it when the chance arises

-Please throw it back slow on him- he’s literally gonna disintegrate omg.

-Yes he will shake ass with you

-Like Nami he will also hype you up

-Runs with you to the floor when the first few notes of back that ass up play. It’s serious business

-Don't let him get some drinks in his system cause ya'll will be in a nice little corner, lights just dim enough, your back to his front, the both of yall fuckin it up

Shanks

-PLEASE feel free to shake ass cause he's gonna watch, catch, and grind without a care in the world.

-The first time he caught you it was just a little jiggle, nothing more but as the drinks progresses, the more comfortable you got.

-Mans is kinda hypnotized with the way you move, like the circles, whew

-Can catch it VERY well. Only once did he falter a bit, stumbling only a pinch but he blamed it on the alcohol (no jamie foxx)

-really liked when you twerk show, purposefully pressing agaisnt him. but also

-Will squeeze the plush of your ass when you do, and I mean a handful of your ass is in his hand.

-Set his drink on top of it when you go slow because he knows you won't spill it. You'll get justtttt close enough but your hips are so calculated you don't.

-Get him drunk enough he'll shake some ass, only with you tho. dont tell him about it the next day, he'll deny deny deny with that stupid smile on his face.

Buggy

-I don't think we need to beat around the bush here. THIS MAN LOVES YOU AND YOUR ASS.

-He can catch it...sometimes. No there will not be further elaboration.

-Oh the occasion that he can successfully handle the way you move he manages to pull your hips onto him, loving the feeling of you shaking it slower

-It doesn't take much convincing to get him to twerk with you. he might ask why but will put his hands on his knees to prepare for your tutorial anyway.

-Now you wanna talk about the sound of rattling bones.... yes he tried to shake ass...but the thing is he doesn't really have any ass to shake so it just...its comical

-He's well aware of the fatty you got, hell he can't keep his hands from landing harsh smacks whenever he gets a chance. Don't let him catch you throwin it back 'cause he's gonna have the time of his life slapping it.

-Damn near fucking while dancing I mean it gets kinda nastyyyyy

-Saw you wall twerk, hasn't been the same since

-Not when he isn't particularly in the mood to dance, he loves to watch, and that's even better because he has an excuse to fuck up the next person to try and lay hands on what his.

#x reader #ouid #zaza #420 #one piece live action #one piece sanji #one piece nami #one piece zoro #one piece luffy #one piece buggy #one piece shanks #one piece usopp #one piece #one piece netflix #one piece live adaptation #opla #crackfic #headcannons #i love them so much #new hyperfixation #y/n can twerk #shake some ass

[delulu-with-wandanat]

(LORD HELP AS THEY’RE STILL) Stuck in Our Universe

Elizabeth: So what’s your character like in real life?

Scarlett: Natasha? She is delightful! She’s such a strong and caring woman, I admire her a lot. What about yours?

Elizabeth: Oh Wanda? She's uh... *looks back*

Wanda:

Elizabeth: Yea, I don't think she likes me very much-

Scarlett: Really? She's seems so sweet to me though.

-Wanda to Scarlett-

Scarlett: *Trying to reach something from a high cabinet.*

Wanda: Oh let me get that for you, Scarlett! *uses her powers*

Scarlett: Why thank you dear! You're so sweet.

Wanda: You’re welcome IHIHIHI- *blushing, giggling, bouncing on her feet.*

-Wanda to Elizabeth-

Elizabeth: *Struggles to reach a food from an even higher cabinet*

Wanda:

Elizabeth: Could really put that power to a good use-

Wanda: Starve. *leaves*

Elizabeth af:

-Back to present-

Elizabeth: Yea, that's probably cause you have her gf's face.

Scarlett: Well-

Elizabeth: I feel like she got some self-deprecating issues, but instead of letting it out in the mirror she lets it out to me.

Scarlett: That's a bold assumption-

#source: me mf #wanda has beef with elizabeth olsen #natasha romanoff #wandanat #wanda maximoff #natasha #wanda x natasha #wlw #wanda #incorrect wandanat #crackfic #wandanat crackfic #stuck in our universe #wandanat au #incorrect quotes #elizabeth olsen #scarlett johansson

[prokopetz]

It just occurred to me that, assuming Bram Stoker's Dracula takes place roughly in the year of its publication, John Harvey Kellogg is coicidentally about the same age as Abraham van Helsing, and now there's a crackfic I'm genuinely upset I'll never have time to write.

#media #literature #dracula #dracula (novel) #bram stoker #john harvey kellogg #character swap #fandom #fanfic #crackfic

[nerdpoe]

The Curse of the Cat (With the Exemption of Selina Kyle) Part 2

Ao3, I lost part 1 but that's fine cuz it's in the Ao3 link I didn't edit this. This is unedited and it is late. Have warmup crack chappie.

She had done her research, hunted down all occult practitioners she could find, and after half a year of slaving away and ignoring all other heists-she’d found it.

The cause of half the population gaining cat ears and tails.

The Infinite Realms, Pandora’s Box.

Granted, it was just a guess, but out of the seventy-nine Occultists she’d cornered and interrogated, the phrase “Pandora’s Box” had left the lips of sixty-two of them.

Was she grasping for straws? Perhaps. But no one had any better ideas, and Selina needed to steal her own cat ears and tail! She was Catwoman! She needed them!

Further research into Pandora’s Box had led her to Pandora, which had led her to the concept of Ghosts, which had branched into Paranormal Researchers, which brought her straight to the Drs Fenton, then the Ghost Zone, then she’d brought that back to the Occultists for them to translate it to the Infinite Realms.

Most of them had gone for drinks after reading that the Fenton’s had made a machine that punched a hole through reality and into the Infinite Realms. Others had sat down and started crying.

Something about powerful, almost-gods residing in that dimension. Whatever. That was for Batman or something, and was none of Selina’s business.

She was currently preoccupied with stealing the strange hovercraft and going into the Infinite Realms, going directly against what every single Occultist had tried to tell her not to do.

But she was Catwoman. She would correct this.

Plus, there were recent posts circulating that Catwoman was appropriating Feline culture, or that she was just cringe. That she was a version of Transracial, like Rachel Dolezal.

Those were unforgivable.

She knew for a fact that her not getting those feline appendages was a mistake. An oversight.

A sin.

And she was going to correct it.

~~~~~~

Bernard woke up feeling…odd.

Tim’s tail was wrapped around his waist, and one hand was lazily running down his ear.

“Hey babe, wake up; a new animal appendage epidemic just dropped.”

Bernard opened his eyes and lifted himself up, bewildered.

Tim smiled down at him.

“Borzoi for you, it seems.”

Bernard yanked the blankets to the side and stared in dismay at the lanky, furry tail that moved in time with his own movements.

“What’s wrong babe?” Tim asked, concerned.

“I’m gonna have to wear one of those new tail nets now.” They were so annoying looking! He didn’t want to!

But dog hair in food!

Tim, the jerk, laughed at him.

~~~~~~

Commissioner Gordon glared at everyone as he walked into work, new ears flat and his new tail straight and still.

He thought he’d dodged this fuckery.

He had not.

German Shepherd. He, a Police Commissioner, was a German Shepherd subtype.

It felt like a jab at him. He didn’t like it.

He slammed his office door shut behind him and sat at his desk, only to hiss and readjust when he sat on his new tail.

That done, he sent out texts to see whether or not his friends and family were going to suffer with him.

He prayed he was not the only one.

~~~~~~

Barbara stared at her legs.

They moved and twitched restlessly alongside her tail.

‘ That’s…a whippet tail, no? ’ She thought in shock, still coming to terms that gaining animal ears and tail had just…given her her legs back.

That couldn’t be all there was to it?

Information. 

She needed information, and the massive computer she used to gather it was in the other room.

She looked at her wheelchair, waiting for her at the side of her bed.

She looked at her legs, which were still twitching with the urgent need to walk, to run, to get up and move-

She swung her legs off the bed, braced, and for the first time since the Joker took it from her, stood up.

She also immediately fell down, because her leg muscles had deteriorated and she’d need to relearn how to use them, but.

But.

For a half a second, she had definitely been standing on her own.

Walking….walking was no longer an impossibility. 

It was just something blocked by physical therapy.

But how did that fit, if she, overnight, had regained the ability to use them at all?

Barbara couldn’t help the laugh that escaped.

She pulled herself to her wheelchair and got in, using the quickest way she had to get to her computers.

First, an appointment with Leslie. Next, research to see if this had happened with any of the Cats.

~~~~~~

Dick woke up to pain in his ear.

He twitched it away from the source of the pain and rolled over-wait.

He…he moved his ear away from the…?

Oh joy of joys, had it finally happened?!

Dick launched himself upright, scaring Haley, who had been chewing on his new ear, and freed himself from the blankets, racing for his bathroom.

He got the the mirror, tail a blur of motion behind him as it wagged with his excitement-oh. Wait. That wasn’t a cat tail?

The wagging slowed down, and Dick took a moment to study it and his new ears.

That…hey! He knew that kind of tail! And those ears!

Haley had them too!

Pitbull! Pittie!

The tail started wagging again and Dick crouched down to play with an excited Haley.

“We have so much in common now! Yes we do! Yes we do!”

Haley was, predictably, ecstatic.

It wasn’t catlike balance or anything, but Dick would take it!

~~~~~~

Leslie Thompkins looked over the MRI results, frowning.

The damage, while there, was heavily diminished. If anything, all Barbara would need was a year or two of physical therapy. 

Then she pulled up Barbara’s research, looking over what had been notated in similar cases with those of Feline Affiliation.

In order for the new tail to grow, it appeared that if there was any damage to the spine, it would be circumvented for the new appendage to properly form. The one’s from the Feline study appeared to be doing well, and there hadn’t been any notes of a random relapse into previous damage.

Magic, apparently, made exactly as much sense as it wanted to at any given time.

Leslie’s own new ears, a Border Collie of all things, were still folded back in her own uncertainty. But she had the evidence she needed, right in front of her.

“...I think it’s safe to say that after a year or two of Physical Therapy, you should be walking and running with everyone else. A year after that, and you might be well enough to fling yourself from rooftops like the others.”

Barbara Gordon was sitting on the exam bed, pale and staring down at her feet, which were still twitching. The result of many, many nerves suddenly receiving signals from a connection that had been lost for so long, none of them knew what to do with the information being presented to them.

Hence, twitching.

Leslie estimated it would wear off in a week or two.

“So. I can tell people and not have to worry about it being…a lie?”

“You can tell whoever you want. Do you want to do that before or after we set up your physical therapy?”

~~~~~~

Selina staggered out of the glider thing, having barely escaped from an angry ghost. God. Thing.

There was no one in the basement, thankfully, and she managed to make her way to a mirror and sink that were off to the side, eager to see what feline traits she’d gained. She hadn’t had any time in the Infinite Realms; she’d been too busy running from threats.

But the mirror did not hold any salvation.

Selina stared at herself in the mirror, the fox ears on her head standing prominent and obvious, and not feline at all.

She turned, looking at her tail-that was a fox tail.

Very, very suddenly, Selina was just. 

Exhausted.

She was going home, and she was going to sleep for a week.

Then, she was going to steal something shiny.

~~~~~~

Clark took the plate of pancakes from Ma, cheerfully handing them over to Pa.

Jon stole one or two of them, his new tail only betraying him with a single wag.

Clark just chuckled, sitting down next to Lois, and felt something in himself settle.

He finally felt like he was Ma and Pa’s son in a way that wasn’t just adoption.

With the exception of Lois and her Lioness ears and tail, everyone in the kitchen at Great Pyrenees ears and tails.

~~~~~~

Seven planets over, Kon stared at his reflection in his guest room.

“Uh…Okay. I. I guess?”

He definitely hadn’t been a furry when he’d gone to bed. Yet, there he stood, with the ears and tail of a Pyrenees dog.

“...This is probably Lex’s fault, somehow.”

#phanfic #crackfic #its gonna be okay selina u got the feline version of a dog

[kuroishuuha]

DP x DC prompt - Not Haunted, Just Old

Wherein a young adult Danny Fenton becomes a house flipper and renovates supposedly haunted houses. As an experienced house flipper (Ghost King) Danny has flipped many houses and is widely sought after.

He is also a firm denier of ghosts and the supernatural.

After all, he needs to keep up an image.

It drives John Constantine crazy, especially since they always seem to end up near the same area, dealing with the same haunted places

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc prompt #danny phantom #danny fenton #john constantine #crackfic #ghost king danny

[keystonepublishing]

First Encounter by Lyris Malachi

I'm sure some of you have heard of the infinitely iconic My Immortal, the fanfic that was the talk of the Harry Potter fandom in it's heyday. But here's a secret for you:

There was another fanfic, also during My Immortal's rise in 2006, that was also infamously talked about - the Hogwarts x Giant Squid fic.

I am not joking.

First Encounter by Lyris Malachi was a fanfic from Fanfiction.net that got shared around pretty quickly because of it's ridiculous nature - the giant squid doing the naughty with Hogwarts school itself. While it wasn't the most cracky of Potterverse crackfics during the golden era of the fandom, boy was it notable to fans!

But over the years, the fanfic has faded from popular memory even within the Harry Potter fandom. For me, this will not stand. I did not scour through Fanfiction.net forums, Livejournal posts, and blog comments where people laughed at the subject matter, just for it to be forgotten!

So, I did it. Sixteen pages in total. If, by the worst case scenario, the Fanfiction.net archive collapses, I can hold this small bind high and proclaim that there was a fic from 2006 that was famous for it's premise - the Giant Squid of Hogwarts x the building of Hogwarts school itself!

#fanfiction #fanbinding #ficbinding #Harry Potter #Hogwarts #Hogwarts school #Giant Squid #crackfic #crack fic #my bookbinds

[imthepunchlord]

Chicken Scratch Rules

Gabriel slipped on the Rooster miraculous, his gaze meeting the wary gaze of the kwami who came out of it, regarding him with distaste. He commanded, "Explain your power to me."

Orikko grimaced. "Chicken Scratch is a power of authority," he reluctantly shared, "write out a rule, it and will apply."

"There's no limits to it?"

"You make the limits," Orikko said, "it's your rule, so it will apply and have its limits."

Gabriel smirked. "So I can be creative with this?"

"Depends on how creative you are," Orikko replied.

"Sunrise," Gabriel bid, transforming and plucking the quill from his pocket, twirling it excitedly. If there were no limits in what he can do with his rules, he has finally won.

Heading to a small room, he wrote on the door, This room will contain Ladybug. The writing glowed orange and excitedly, Gabriel opened it.

The room was empty.

That smug smile fell away from Gabriel's lips. "Sunset," he called out, Orikko zipping out. As the kwami turned to him, Gabriel pointed at the room, snapping, "Why isn't Ladybug in here?!"

Orikko gave him an irritated look, then glanced over at what Gabriel wrote. Scoffing, Orikko pointed at what Gabriel wrote, snidely stating, "You wrote that it will contain Ladybug. If you get her in there, it will contain her. She wouldn't be able to get out. But that doesn't mean she would appear in there."

Gabriel retransformed, closed the door, used the feather to wipe away what he wrote, and replaced it with, Ladybug will appear in this room.

He opened it dramatically, gloating smile in place, and he didn't see anything.

There was a bit of red movement on the floor and he looked down to see an actual ladybug on the floor, crawling around. He brought Orikko back out and pointed at the insect angrily.

"Are you messing with me?"

"I am not!" Orikko snapped. "Unfortunately for you, she named herself Ladybug. That is a common name for those insects. You'll have to be more specific."

Gabriel tried again, wiping away the rule and scribbling out, Ladybug the hero will appear in this room.

He opened that door, this time not bothering to smile, and found it was empty.

"Orikko!" he snapped as he detransformed again.

Orikko was looking tired, a mix of his power used over and over again and dealing with this manchild. Looking it over once more, Orikko snapped, "She's probably not transformed. She'll appear when she transforms."

Gabriel grasped his chin, considering this. Well, he could make an akuma, and then she'd have to appear and then he'd have her! But, he'd have to fight her, and she then could figure out who he is... Gabriel smirked.

He had a better idea.

"Sunrise," he called once more, brushing the feather over the risky rule and wrote out, The wearer of the ladybug earrings will appear in here.

No sooner than when he drew the quill away, there was an orange flash and the door flew open, smacking Gabriel in the face and sending him stumbling back as random Parisians came rushing out the door, looking confused and pointing at him and all of them were wearing ladybug earrings.

Gabriel quickly wiped that rule away. He blew out a frustrated breath, cursing Ladybug's popularity. Luckily, he was doing this in another part of his lair, so no one saw his home. Getting an idea, he wrote out, The wearer of the ladybug miraculous will appear in this room.

He opened the door, feeling that spark of elevation and thrill once more.

And the room was empty.

"Sunset!" he snapped.

"What?" Orikko snapped back.

"Why isn't she in there?!"

"I guess she's not wearing the earrings!"

Gabriel rubbed his bruised forehead, feeling irritated.

That must mean Ladybug was amongst that crowd. That she then anticipated what he'd write next.

But there was still hope.

And Gabriel was a clever man.

Retransforming and ignoring Orikko's grumbles, he wrote out, The Ladybug Miraculous will appear in this room.

Opening the door, he saw them.

"Yes!" he called out, stepping in and picking up the earrings. "I have them! I finally have them!"

He stepped out of the room and poof they were gone.

Gabriel gaped at his hand and uttered, "Sunset."

Orikko was brought back out. With a sigh, he explained, "The earrings were to appear only in that room. Take them out, the rule doesn't apply to them."

"Your miraculous sucks," Gabriel declared.

"Then dON'T USE IT!" Orikko shouted.

Gabriel ignored the seething kwami, moving to pace about, trying to think how he can use this miraculous to win.

Gabriel stopped, a thought occurring to him. If he can't make take the earrings out, then he could make the Wish INSIDE the room. Heading back and brandishing the quill, he wrote The Ladybug Miraculous and Cat Miraculous will both appear in this room.

He opened it, and giddily, he breathed, "Yes!"

There they were. The earrings and the ring. The two miraculous he spent the past year trying to get! He had them! He finally had them!

He practically tossed the thumb ring aside, not caring as Orikko turned to watch him pick up the two miraculous. Gabriel took one specific earrings, and started to place it on top of the ring, the true wish granting unification--

Poof.

The miraculouses were gone, Gabriel's hands were empty.

He turned towards Orikko, gaping.

Orikko in turn just crossed his arms and shook his head at Gabriel. "You combine them, and they stop existing as the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses."

Gabriel took a breath. "I am really starting to hate your miraculous."

"The feeling is mutual," Orikko clucked.

One more try, Gabriel thought, slipping the thumb ring back on, Orikko's rolling eyes cut off as he was zapped back in. This time, Gabriel wrote on himself, scribbling over his arm, I will have the power of the Cat and Ladybug Miraculous.

The letters glowed orange and Gabriel felt a shift in him. He declared, "I Wish to revive my wife!"

Nothing seemed to happen.

Gabriel hurried over to his iPad, checking on the cameras that were on her, staring in to see if there was any movement.

There was none.

Again, Orikko was brought out. "How did you mess up this time?"

Gabriel glared at him, showing the kwami his arm.

Orikko scoffed. "See, with that writing, that means you could summon Cataclysm and either the Lucky Charm or Miraculous Ladybug."

"Then I'll aim for their Wish granting power!" Gabriel declared, retransforming once again and writing out, I will have the Wish granting power of the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous!

"I Wish to revive my wife!" Gabriel declared once more, then checked the screens.

Still nothing.

Nothing was happening.

He threw the thumb ring across the room, sending Orikko tumbling out, wincing as he spun. "What now?!" he snapped.

"Why isn't it working?!" Gabriel demanded, waving to his arm.

"See, this sets you up as a wish granter, not granting your own wishes, as these miraculous, and kwamis, can't make their own wish. But you can grant the wish of anyone who asks."

Gabriel was suddenly afraid at the smirk on Orikko's face. "Just like I wish you were a chicken."

Poof.

Before Orikko stood a white rooster, with a bright red waddle. It squawked out in fear, flapping about wildly in a panic while Orikko cackled above him.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #rooster miraculous #gabriel agreste #crackfic

[blaiddraws]

So about that one poll...

#pokemon #submas #ingo #zisu #warden ingo #Captain zisu #pla era #dojoshipping #akari #various other small appearances #fanfic #fic #crackfic #<- QUALITY crackfic i will say #ALSO. i always write ingo as being secretly dramatic #but. BOY HOWDY that sure does come out real strong in this one lol