#crackfic is cracky

[vigilantempathy]

OFMD Ed/Izzy “Getaway Car” by Taylor Swift AU????

Ed and Izzy are lone-wolf grifters who develop a flirtatious rivalry that becomes “professional admiration” for each other’s cons until they finally decide to become partners in crime.

If it was about getting rich, Ed would marry one of the “sugar daddies” he’s extorted with sordid pictures of their intimate moments together. If it was about becoming notorious, Izzy wouldn’t have built his gambit on the anonymity of uniform disguises at luxurious events—rich people notice when their valuables go missing, but they don’t remember the face of their waiter, or their porter, or their valet.

There’s an odd sense of justice to who they each choose as marks. They both have a strong sense of honor amongst thieves. They’re both too ambitious to stay two-bit criminals forever.

And the game gets lonely if you get too good at playing it alone.

Playing it together, though…that’s how legends are born.

The authorities call their mysterious criminal syndicate “Blackbeard”. The reporters joke that Blackbeard’s crimes were executed with the goal of becoming clickbait. They’re Robin Hood for the internet era, easy to publicize and hard to completely hate.

And under the jetset Bonnie and Clyde lifestyle, they want to give each other the world and know no other way to try aside from stealing it.

And they don't say they love each other, exactly, not in those words, but they try to show it.

Izzy steals a priceless tiara for Edward and crowns it reverently in his curls because he doesn’t know how to tell him, Fuck the royalty who inherit the world as birthright, I would only ever kneel for you. Edward sighs and hands Izzy the keys of a Porshe Turbo he just rightfully stole them and would be entitled to drive and doesn't say, I trust you with my life.

Edward buys Izzy the house Izzy used to pass on his way to school (before he ran away at thirteen) that made Izzy understand the difference between being rich and being poor, what people meant when they talked about being "from a nice family" because his own family certainly wasn't nice, because Edward can’t just tell him, You deserve beautiful things, or What they did to you was wrong or I wish the world had been kinder to you.

There's intimacy built over the years in secrets told between them when they hold their breath together as sirens pass too close by where they're hiding. They'd ride for each other and die for each other and it's a pact they know in their bones even if they never acknowledge it. It rides along with them like a passenger in every getaway car, on every plane, curled in bed between them in sleeper cars on international train rides. It's the two of them against the world, and they finally get to see how beautiful the world can be once they can afford beautiful things.

Edward takes them on a museum vacation to Florence because he saw how Izzy pored over a tourist pamphlet on a flight once when he thought Edward was asleep and secretly booked them tickets. There's a month they spend on an island where they sleep in a tent and swim in the ocean and and cook over a campfire and don't see another human being the entire time and it should feel suffocating, but it's the happiest either of them have ever been.

Except for Edward's demons that drag Izzy like they're leashed with his own. Except for Izzy's demons that pull Izzy fiercely away, over and over, the gap widening between them with every touch restrained, every word not uttered. Izzy starts to hate the world for making them what they are, for making Edward crave a comfort and reassurance and openness that Izzy can't give; for making Izzy hold back everything he wants to tell Edward, for making him see love as weakness and hate that weakness in himself.

This isn't a world for people like them, no matter that it was the world that made them like this. They were never meant for beautiful things, and love is the most beautiful thing of them all.

Izzy holds Edward's hair back in hotel bathrooms and at resort poolsides, watches him vomit the kind of top-shelf liquor neither of them ever thought they'd be able to drink, frozen helpless while he snorts an entire con's worth of winnings. He stays when Edward screams in his face, trying to make Izzy understand that he's a monster, trying to convince Izzy that he's unlovable. Izzy holds him while he cries, doesn't let Edward see how it breaks him every time Edward quits for a day or a week or an hour, when he makes it twelve gruelling hours into the physical hell that is detox, sends Izzy to refill the ice bucket to make a compress for his migraine, and by the time Izzy comes back Edward's dragged himself over to the hotel bar to put an end to his misery.

Izzy doesn't know how to tell him I'm worried about you, or please don't, or am I the part of this that will never be enough for you?, or I don't know how I could go back to what I was if I woke up one day and you weren't here. He tries showing him, over and over and over, but it's not enough, it's something that Edward needs to hear and that Izzy cannot say. They hate themselves for what they can't be to each other.

The calls are too close and Izzy's made a career of being a gambling man but Edward's life is never going to be worth the risk in betting. And there are ultimatums, of course, but Izzy can't carry any of them out because they all involve leaving and he could never leave Edward willingly.

So Izzy turns them in.

He knows Edward will hate him for it. But Edward will have to sober up in the drunk tank or with medically-assisted detox in the prison infirmary, and that means he'll live long enough to hate Izzy. Izzy can accept a world where Edward hates him, but he can't accept a world without Edward.

It turns out, they're the only cellmates in the institution who can tolerate being roomed with each other.

There's nothing beautiful for them here, but there's time. There's nothing for them now but time. The walls keep the world shut outside as much as they keep the two of them shut away from the world. And eventually they learn to talk to each other, how to say everything unsaid that festered between them and forced them away from each other. Eventually Edward tells Izzy what he meant with every stolen gift he gave, and eventually Izzy tells Edward why he stayed all those times, why he didn't trust himself to leave.

Perhaps there's still one beautiful thing left to them here after all.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd izzy #edward teach #edizzy #ofmd au #taylor swift #getaway car #somebody write the fic #i am just the ideas guy #crackfic that isn't as cracky as it probably should be

[thephilosophersapprentice]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaladin & Pattern, Kaladin & Sylphrena (Stormlight Archive), Shallan Davar & Kaladin & Adolin Kholin Characters: Kaladin (Stormlight Archive), Pattern (Stormlight Archive), Sylphrena (Stormlight Archive), Adolin Kholin, Shallan Davar Additional Tags: Kaladin & Pattern is not a common tag?, I would've thought I wasn't the first one to think of this, but oh well, Something about the way Kaladin and Pattern think is fascinatingly similar, Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, metaphors and idioms and similies oh my! Series: Part 2 of and they were roommates! Summary:

Shallan’s spren—Pattern—was exploring the table, adding a raised design of spiraling lines to the grain of the wood. He moved to the napkin holder, humming to himself. Kaladin stirred up the broth with his spoon and scooped up a segment of violetvine. He bit into it with an audible crunch. Pattern slid across the tabletop and up Kaladin’s sleeve. Kaladin froze.

Kaladin and Pattern have a conversation.

#hey you remember that crackfic with the mayonnaise? #there's more #it's a little less cracky #erin fic #stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #pattern

[dark-side-blog3]

Ignore that this Home Alone inspired poly adeuce fic is a month late. Or choose to read it for 2024 Christmas, up to you.

I had a lot of fun writing this! Put it into a word counter just for fun, and I'm surprised to see that my first real WIP I finished in 2024 is 3k long! It was just so fun to imagine a twist one of my favourite Christmas movies, and I got so caught up in the fun of it I didn't make my deadline ^^; It was originally meant to be a short little crackfic, but it was just too fun! There are some cracky, campy elements, but that's just in the spirit of the movie I based it off!

Anyways: MDNI, warnings for standard yandere things, and creepy crawlies.

++++++++++++++++++++++

"Shouldn't we be pouring salt on the pathway?"

"Nah," you smile, splashing another bucket of water on the front steps. "This is so we can have a nice slip-and-slide for tobogganing tomorrow, Grim! Same reason I'm filling up a little ice rink in the back-- I wanna do some skating. I can't wait for it to freeze over and teach you how!"

Grims' head shakes fervently as he beams; "Just you wait! I'll show you the grace and speed of a master figure skater! I'm gonna be teaching YOU how to skate by the time we're done!"

"Well if you wanna do that, you're gonna need to be well rested. Can you grab us some cookies for before-bed snacks?" you encourage, the monster agreeing and scampering off inside the dorm house to pilfer the cupboard.

You continue pouring water on the steps and trudge around the house's perimeter to check on the steps leading outside to make sure they're freezing over like you intended. You have several other home security measures to check over...

Most of the staff, and students for that matter, went home for the holidays. Family to see, vacations to take... A life to live outside of the school and other people in it. Should anything happen, Crowley was unfortunately unavailable (what else is new, the old bastard), nor was Vargas, Trein, or Crewl. Normally they'd be spattered throughout the holiday to watch over the students. But there are other teachers on the premises, and hardly any students who can't return home for whatever reason, and they let it slip by... One night during the whole winter break when none of your trusted faculty members nor any of your more powerful friends like Malleus or Idia could help if you got into trouble.

And maybe, maybe your brain has been rotted by movies and defending yourself from overblotted students.

But it's better safe than sorry.

With everything seemingly in order, and the sun setting quickly behind the treeline of school woods, you rush over to the front gate to hang a large sign:

NO SOLICITORS

Hopefully, this will deter anyone planning to intrude on you tonight.

You trudge your way back to the front door, carefully avoiding the steps. You spend the next few hours snacking with Grim while watching movies together, playing card games, and chattering about what ifs and would you rather... Before too long, it's time for bed, and Grim is out like a light, thanks to several pounds of turkey stuffing, potatoes, and cookies you still had after the holiday party days ago.

The party was fun... It did leave you with more leftovers you knew what to do with, which is always great. You got to wish Rook Joyeuses Fête, decorate cookies with Jack and Jade (the merman being much better at decorating, likely due to working in the lounge), and say goodbye to everyone dear to you before they left for their own plans... But it also had Ace and Deuce.

Which, on the one hand, they're harmless. You know they are. They're just jerks sometimes.

They should be focusing on their studies, and you had to devote your time to keeping Ramshakle clean, and Grim on task to graduate... The little monster became somewhat of a family member. Surrogate son or little brother you're not entirely sure, but you want him to succeed.

And even if the pair of heartslabyul boys were gifted students that excelled at every course with time to spare, Grim wasn't-- Grim needed your help to study, to get to class, to handle some of his projects for him when his paws would cause accidents in the potion lab. Grim needs your help to get through college, and it keeps you way too busy for a relationship with either guy.

And even though they soured the mood of the party right after you told them as such, it's the truth, and that's what it is. You're not going to jeopardize Grim's future just to date college students.

They acted like jerks for the rest of the winter break.

When everyone was opening presents, they bitched at everyone for the gifts they exchanged, teased relentlessly, knocked over decor, and told each classmate going through the magic mirror over the week to 'take their time coming back, if at all'. Poor Idia had an anxiety attack when they started teasing him; it took you half an hour to calm him down enough to stop puking and stick to just dry heaving. Grim scampered off after Idia fainted a second time... It took another hour after that to help him through the magic mirror, with his robot escorts. You would have walked through with him, but he insisted holding your hand as he left would be enough, only dragging you somewhat through the portal.

It was rubbing you the wrong way how they were picking fights with everyone, and snubbing Grim anytime they saw you and the monster around campus.

Suddenly, the front gates screech open, drawing you out of your thoughts. You peek out the sliver of the window from behind the thick curtain in the bedroom to see two figures shuffle through the snow.

It can't be them. Even if you were just thinking of them, that would be too... Convenient. Like some movie logic. Thinking of people doesn't summon them.

Whoever it is will be getting a nasty surprise in three, two, one--

A muffled thud and string of curses can be heard from the other side of the glass. You sneak your way down the stairs so you can at least see who's at the door.

"Son of a--! Grim!" Deuce shouts. So much for not summoning them.

"Open the door, little buddy! We know that you're in there and that you're all alone... Your precious prefect is spending the last night of the winter break with someone else, right?" Ace yells, quickly being joined by a snickering and rapping at the door.

A shadow presses itself against the window, trying to peer through sheer curtains. You duck behind one of the striped couches on the outside of the room, close to the walls. Through the reflection of the glass cabinet, you can see the figure stay and linger at the window, tapping against the glass with a small can.

"Come on Grim. We've got tuna for ya if you just open the door and have a chat..." Deuce says, cupping his hands around his mouth as he yells through the glass.

His shadow straightens up, before pounding back on the glass, rattling the old pane against the tight frame, the narrow strips of wood being tight enough together that neither of them could just force their way through the window; Even if they shattered all the glass.

Which Deuce just might, slamming himself into the frame as hard as he could.

"I saw you move in there! Don't ignore us!" He shatters a pane, shoving his hand through to grab at the sheer curtains and tug, ripping them.

You duck back behind the couch, scanning for tools to protect yourself. Shut up. Don't be stupid, just think. Think quick, and smart.

The banging stops for a second. Before becoming far louder-- powerful enough to feel the floor shake. Metal creaks against its hinges, and the lock crashes into the strike plate of the door.

Ignore that, focus. Cleaning supplies. Always nearby, the dorm is filthy. Dish soap and mop bucket.

You dart out from behind the couch to grab the bottle of dish soap, grabbing it and rolling up against the wall just in time as the banging stops, the door knob jiggles and a thin wire pokes itself out from the cracks between the door frame. It makes quick work of the locks on the door, before opening, and Ace proudly struts into the room. The second he does, you pop the cap and squeeze the bottle, squirting bright blue goop into his eyes and smarmy mouth! And you splurt the floor for good measure!

You sprint back to behind the couch he pulls back, sputtering, and wiping it from his eyes in thick globs. You watch through the reflection of the cabinet as Deuce shoves his way past Ace as he splatters fistfuls of goop onto the floor, next to the bottle of leaking dish soap. Ace shoves Deuce for the push, and the resulting shove has both of them slipping on the puddle of dish soap you left in your hurry.

"Ahg-- Ace?! Why are you on the floor?"

A visibly wet smack as dish soap arches off Ace's gloves, slapping damply right into Deuce's face as he grunts from under his classmate: "Get off me, you buffoon! Go find the cat-- Grim, I'm gonna skin you for this, you little creep!"

"Don't make threats until after we have the little rat, runt. If he goes tattling we're screwed--"

"There's no one to tattle to! He's all alone in this big house! Even the ghosts aren't here! If we stick his claws in an electrical socket or force-feed him motor oil, no one would think anything of it! He's just a dumb animal that killed himself without supervision!"

Something glints from under the couch. You grasp at it, finding a spare ornament, and an unused ziptie, threaded through the top. There's got to be something you can use to create a bigger distraction and get you and Grim out of here.

There has to be something in reach-- going back to the bucket in plain sight of them is too risky. Shoving your hand under the couch, your clutch the first thing that your grasp: An aerosol room freshener. Score.

Wrapping the ziptie around the spray trigger, you tighten it and roll it over to the boys, still scrambling about on the floor. You watch from the reflection in the cabinet as Deuce gets a heavy spray right in the eyes, hollering in pain!

"AUGH-- Fucker! You think you're so smart, punk?! Your little bomb just gave away your position!" Deuce shouts, whipping out his magic pen, covering his eyes.

You feel a sense of dread. Primal instinct. You leap out from behind the couch just as he summons a caldron to crash into the couch, narrowly missing you as it smashes the solid oak to splinters. Splinters stick to your socks, embedding in your feet as you scamper off to another room, streams of water and gusts of wind being shot after you.

Just as you turn the corner to climb up the stairs and rush to Grim's room, you hear Ace curse exasperatedly, stumbling his way to the end of the hall to stare at you, still wiping his eyes on his sleeves. Another string of sighed curses leaves his lips as he watches you scramble up the stairs, making accidental eye-contact.

They know their plans are botched now.

Gotta climb faster.

On all fours, you claw up the stairs, just as a tug on your ankle forces your jaw to slam into them. Casting a glance backwards, Ace has gripped your ankle with his sticky gloves, grinning madly as you struggle to tug your ankle away from him, and try to dodge the other one of his hands trying to grasp for your other leg, only to end up sloppily groping your ass before trying again. You try to shake and kick him off, getting a hits to the side of his head, but not as effective as if you had room to wind up. He's gripping so hard it feels like he's going to break something. You scramble, shifting your weight side to side to get him off, prying yourself off the stairs and scratching your nails into the old wood. Your nails cling to the baseboard, prying the edge as much as you can, the wood creaking and snapping off with each desperate tug to pull yourself up.

The baseboard snaps, and you find yourself with a small wooden shiv, thinking to whip around and stab it into Ace's hand, leading him to retract for a second long enough for you to scramble up a step again-- before being slammed back down into the wood as you're grabbed again.

A girthy, irrate red centipede wiggles its way out from the hole in the baseboard, defensive of the now-ruined home.

You snatch it up, close to the head and the snapping mandibles as it wriggled and writhed, as you slowly reached back around to Ace, still clinging to your legs as you tried to shake him off. The teen was so focused on keeping you still as he pulled some ducttape off the roll with his teeth, that he didn't see the massive, snakelike body of the centipede until it was too late; And you stick it right on his face.

He seemed to freeze, giving you enough time to tug your leg again, just as he screamed an ear-piecing shriek!

Ace pawed at his face squirming violently on the stairs, thumping loudly on each step back to the bottom as you sprinted your way upstairs, into Grims room, slamming and locking the door behind you!

"What the hell is wrong--"

"PSYCHO PREFECT IS WHAT! Is it in my hair? Fucking thing was thick as a finger, and they put it right on my face! Is it in my hair?!"

"The prefect is home?! Dude! We're so screwed!"

"So go up there and get them, dipshit! Why are you standing still when they're up there getting a fucking bear trap or something ready?! Are you having an aneurysm or something?! Why are you just staring at me like that?!"

"...Ace... Don't... Move."

"Deuce... What are you talking about? Go get them-"

"Don't. Move."

"Deuce..?"

The telltale crash of a cast iron cauldron smashing through your rotten wood floors makes you nearly shit yourself, glancing back at a sleep-stirring Grim.

"DID I GET IT?"

"YOU ALMOST CRUSHED MY SKULL YOU NUTCASE!"

"DID I GET IT?!"

"You fucking moron!"

You snatch Grim up, using the blanket he was sleeping with like a hobo bag to hold him in, and open the window, edging your way carefully onto the roof. If you can just make safely to the other side of Ramshackle, you can try scaling down the ivy. And it will at least give you a head start-- Maybe hiding out in Sams is the best idea. A store owner must have a CCTV, right? And if Ace and Deuce try and kill either of you, then even if something happens to you, they'll get caught...

You wrap the corners of Grims blanket around your shoulders, like a makeshift baby pouch. You can definitely feel him squirming on your back, starting to wake up. You let go of the window, slipping down the rough roof tile. Laying on your stomach, you side-shuffle over, staying as low to the roof as you can to get the most traction. The edge nearly takes you by surprise when your foot doesn't connect with length that's not there. Slowly, you shuffle even closer to the edge, swaying your arm around the edge to find the vines of Ivy.

"I FOUND 'EM, ACE!"

Your head whips around to see Deuce leaning as far as he can out of the window before he scrambles to get onto the roof.

Whipping your head back to focus, you grab a fistful of vines and pull the rest of your body off the roof! You snatch another fistful with your other hand as you fall.

And fall all the way down, watching in horror as the ivy peels itself from the brick walls.

You feel Grim claw his way out of the pouch and onto your face just in time, as you land on your back with a sickening crunch.

"Oh shit," Ace comments, seemingly having been waiting for you at the bottom of the wall. You see Grim flee across the yard out of the corner of your eye, unable to lift your head.

The sound of snow crunching underfoot, and Deuce panting like crazy soon joins Ace in staring at you as you lay helpless on the ground. As soon as he arrives he gets asked: "Are we gonna get Grim?"

"No point, really..." Comes the huffed response; "We were gonna get him to fuck off, and he's fucked right off. Tonight didn't really go to plan anyway."

A boot gently kicks at your side as Ace turns his attention back to you: "Are you paralyzed or something? That was quite the fall."

You open your mouth to speak, but only a cracked whine makes it out. You cringe and try again, but nothing intelligible comes out.

"Holy shit, they're brain-damaged!" Ace grins, laughing as he backs away from you.

You feel Deuce tugging at your legs in the snow, dragging you from your shallow ditch in the snow. He begins tugging you closer to the dorm, before he drops your legs, moving to grab you under your arms and haul you that way, up against a wall. Breaking a window, he shoves you in, head first. The cold floors of Ramshackle are still warmer than the ice and snow.

"Alright. Hey, real quick, can you feel this?" Deuce begins poking you with a wire from an ornament, starting with your legs, and making his way up on both sides. You nod, wincing at some particularly sharp pricks, to which Deuce responds by rubbing the area to dull the pain.

"Can you say where you are right now? Do you know who I am? Who you are?" You nod again, voice stumbling through a pained response.

"Awesome. You're not brain-damaged! You're probably just winded from the fall. Is anything broken? Can you wiggle your fingers and toes? Try twisting side to side. If you can't it means your spine might be broken, and you need a doctor."

You comply, weirded out by the sudden care, but the doctor comment means they will call someone. And that someone will keep you safe, and them away. The pain's already fading, and likely nothing serious, but you could trick them... Deuce particularly seems like a soft touch. You wince as you try to twist, feigning inability.

Deuce makes a worried expression, like he's about to piss himself from fear.

He backs off slightly, giving you a bit more breathing room: "Try crossing your arms and lifting them as far away from your ribs as you can".

You comply again, feigning difficulty,

And duct tape wraps around your wrists instantly. Deuce presses his knee down into your chest to pin you down as he wraps as tightly as he can, while Ace ties your legs from outside.

"This really, really isn't my style. But we've got to get you somewhere that is not here when the teachers come back tomorrow, and we can't have Grim knowing where to find you." Deuce rambles, soaking his glove in a bottle of something, before pressing it to your face. He continues rambling, leaning in closer to whisper: "And I know how this looks! But I promise we won't do anything to you while you sleep. Or when you wake up! I swear! It's all more normal than it seems tonight-- or it can be anyways. And... And if you give me some time, give me a chance, we can even ditch Ace and forget this night ever happened! You just need some time somewhere else..."

The room spins with dark spots as Deuce presses his soaked glove further into your face. He continues rambling at you, while you feel Ace begin dragging you back out the window again. The snow doesn't feel cold this time as you fall into it. It just feels soft.

#my writing! #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere poly #poly yandere #yandere ace trappola #yandere ace #yandere deuce #yandere deuce spade #yandere adeuce #yandere poly adeuce #bug tw #creepy crawlies tw #yandere crackfic #sorta~! It is for sure all over the place. but so is the moive tbh #yandere twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #holidays.!

[keystonepublishing]

First Encounter by Lyris Malachi

I'm sure some of you have heard of the infinitely iconic My Immortal, the fanfic that was the talk of the Harry Potter fandom in it's heyday. But here's a secret for you:

There was another fanfic, also during My Immortal's rise in 2006, that was also infamously talked about - the Hogwarts x Giant Squid fic.

I am not joking.

First Encounter by Lyris Malachi was a fanfic from Fanfiction.net that got shared around pretty quickly because of it's ridiculous nature - the giant squid doing the naughty with Hogwarts school itself. While it wasn't the most cracky of Potterverse crackfics during the golden era of the fandom, boy was it notable to fans!

But over the years, the fanfic has faded from popular memory even within the Harry Potter fandom. For me, this will not stand. I did not scour through Fanfiction.net forums, Livejournal posts, and blog comments where people laughed at the subject matter, just for it to be forgotten!

So, I did it. Sixteen pages in total. If, by the worst case scenario, the Fanfiction.net archive collapses, I can hold this small bind high and proclaim that there was a fic from 2006 that was famous for it's premise - the Giant Squid of Hogwarts x the building of Hogwarts school itself!

#fanfiction #fanbinding #ficbinding #Harry Potter #Hogwarts #Hogwarts school #Giant Squid #crackfic #crack fic #my bookbinds

[worriedvision]

Newer Masterlist!

Alhaitham:

scribe reader where they have different work ethics

Walking in on him crying

Alhaitham shows attraction to you, but it’s miscommunicated (Part 1) (Part 2)

‘Could he make you feel as good as I could?’

Fun while it lasted (Part 1) (Part 2)

Breach

Pretending to be his lover

Childe:

You steal his delusion

Cyno:

Dating him (Part 1)

He breaks up with you for ‘your safety’ (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Dottore tricks you (Part 1)

Diluc:

He breaks your heart on your anniversary

Gorou:

He betrays the reader (The not so cracky one)

Not so blissful ignorance (Part 4)

Heizou:

Catching a criminal (soulmate au)

He’s seduced by a menacing fairy (male reader)

Kaeya:

Breakup blackmail

Nilou:

The last dance (hanahaki fic)

Tighnari:

Aranara raised reader - him being a father figure (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Pov: he shaves (crackfic)

Your casual lover grows distant to a study buddy of his (Part 1) (Part 2 [coming soon])

He gets hurt in his relationship with someone else

His first love (Part 1) (Part 2) (Ending 1) (Ending 2)

Committed to the forest (Part 1) (Part 2) (Ending 1) (Ending 2)

Housing a visitor [ongoing] (Part 1 smut, don’t read if you’re a minor) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Out of his league (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4 [coming soon])

Keeping him calm

‘Did I just say that out loud?’ (Part 1) (Part 2)

Carving

nsfw headcanons (minors don’t read)

Having to comfort himself due to noises

Reader is Dottores Sibling (Part 1)

A stolen sweater

An open Marriage (Part 1) (Part 2 [coming soon])

Hunting the turned

He experiences a nightmare

Xiao:

You aren’t real, but you are real to him

Poly fics with Cyno and Tighnari:

Walking in on  them (nsfw)

Poly fic with Gorou and Heizou:

They fight over reader

Multiple characters:

Your social battery runs out - Alhaitham, Tighnari, Cyno

You temporarily become a whopperflower/seelie - Albedo, Kazuha, Ningguang

#masterlist #tighnari #cyno #alhaitham #xiao #gorou #nilou #heizou #diluc #cyno x reader #alhaitham x reader #xiao x reader #gorou x reader #heizou x reader #diluc x reader #nilou x reader #tighnari x reader

[thiefbird]

E, n, u for the letters ask please! 🖖

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

Yes, but not recently! These were back in early early high school. I wrote a very short, very bad Draco Malfoy/Apple(as in the fruit) fic once. I hope to god it has been lost to time. I will not tell anyone what my fanfiction dot net username was. I also wrote a Doctor Who/Supernatural/Sherlock/X Files/Star Trek: The Original Series/Warehouse 13/The Yellow Submarine(not Beatles RPF because the only character was Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD aka The Nowhere Man)/Invader Zim crackfic extravaganza in collab with @gabrielnovakgoestomyschool (there may have been another fandom that I forgot). I do not know if it has survived the passage of time. I almost hope it did. They were all in this incredibly Escher-esque grocery store trying to get milk. I guess recently I accidentally wrote "Loghain Mac Tit" instead of "Loghain Mac Tir" when starting a post, took one look at it, and just posted it without further elaboration. I don't know if anyone ELSE thought it was funny, but I definitely did.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Anders - I love an underdog, I love a revolutionary, I love a pathetic tall man who looks like he hasn't slept in a month, I love a man who will make Those Sounds when he kisses me. Also he loves cats and complaining; same, Anders. More seriously, I think he's a deeply misunderstood character by both those around him in canon, by his writing team and Bioware as a whole, and by the general fandom(not any of my beloved mutuals, we are all in the Right About Anders club); despite this, I do think he is a cohesive character. I just don't necessarily think that he is a cohesive character on purpose. I love the implications of his bonding with Justice, and the avenues it opens up for writing. I fully believe that Anders believes that he corrupted Justice into Vengeance, and that Vengeance is a demon; I just don't believe it's true.

Stephen Maturin - Ohhh, Stephen, my beloved. Patrick O'Brian cooked you up in a lab specifically to make me insane (nevermind the fact that I was three years old when he died) - mine is a fated obsession, to the point that I actually had a crazy-dramatic, toxic relationship with an autistic Trinity College naturalist for four and a half years directly out of high school; my brain simply had not fully learned that Stephen Maturin existed (I'd seen the movie once or twice and listened to the soundtrack ad nauseum because of my mother but never payed much attention), and fixated on the next best thing. Here is my Stephen Maturin propaganda: He's a tiny, angry little man who calls animals and friends and his wife alike "honey" and "my dear" and "acushla/a chuisle" (I will never forget the "awwwwwwww" that came from my mouth the one time he called Tom Pullings honey). He calls his best friend "soul" and "joy", and his other best friend "honey-bun". He's an International Super Spy, one of the most effective in the British service, and refuses to be paid for it because he hates tyranny so much (he does not like English colonialism either, but he has decided that England is the best way to beat Napoleon). He's an Irish and Catalan revolutionary (I did say I love a revolutionary), who is somewhat in hiding in the first book because of his associations with The Society of United Irishmen, and therefore connections to the Irish Uprising of 1798. Despite this impressive resume, this man has never met a boat or ship he is not in danger of not falling out of - he has been at sea for the better part of twenty years by the end of the series, and he still must be Carefully Watched to make sure he does not drown, or get soaked through to the skin. He is an acclaimed surgeon, with a miraculous success rate. He is also a renowned natural philosopher who has discovered multiple species, including a giant tortoise. He is the least tidy or fastidious man in all of creation, and is constantly covered in blood and/or winestains and/or crumbs. He pours alcohol over surgical sites not because he knows of germ theory, but because he thinks it'll help with pain. The only non-familial friend he's had longer than Jack Aubrey(who lives longer than the first book. Sorry James, ily) is Adhemar de la Mothe, a known and flamboyantly queer Parisian. He regularly says that he does not see the harm in sodomy so long as no one is harassing the ship's boys, and that anything that adds more love to the world seems a good thing. He loses his mind over a woman, and the more awful she is to him the more he loses it.

Speaking of Diana Villiers - Oh, Diana. I am fully in understanding with Stephen over you. A beautiful, headstrong woman who can ride better than most men, stuck in the most boring atmosphere of Southern England with her aunt and cousins after the death of her husband and her father both made her leave India - I cannot blame her for many of her actions. Diana is a fascinating character, and to me she is proof of Patrick O'Brian's writing ability. Most authors of Men Go To War books don't really seem to know how to write women very well (C.S. Forester I am looking at you. I do not know who Maria is outside of her fawning over Hornblower), but Diana is a fully fledged person from the moment we meet her setting her horse over a gate, despite the fact that we never see any of the events of the twenty books through her eyes. Not only is she a fully realised character, but she is one that shows his understanding of the setting he writes in. Diana Villiers is coping with grief - not only grief for her husband and her father, but for her independence. Her life in India, keeping house for her father from her mid-teens, would have been almost as different as one can imagine from the life of a poor relation take in on charity by a widowed aunt. She feels stifled in the English countryside, forced to play second fiddle to her cousins in order to keep the peace and a roof over her head. I cannot blame her for toying with men's hearts as a source of entertainment. Going into keeping with Canning is Diana's attempt to regain at least some measure of independence, and it is successful, to some extent. She has money, she is back in a country she finds familiar and exciting - but she also has a jealous, suspicious lover who employs their servants as spies to watch her activities, and little company because she is herself a scandal. Stephen's proposal offers her a way out of her situation; it also, to her, seems like a loss of freedom, not only because Stephen loves her, but also because she loves him, and that terrifies her. So she instead runs away with Johnson to America. Johnson, of course, is worse than Canning, and she leaves him temporarily, but then her freedom in England is threatened, again, this time by suspicions of intelligence work (I always wonder just how she got tied up so tightly in Mrs Wogan's subterfuge; did Johnson have something to do with it?), and surprise! Johnson is there to whisk her away from the danger. But he's worse still, and Stephen manages to intervene(yay Stephen) and get her away and back to Europe. This just keeps happening. Diana wants something that is almost entirely impossible for a woman in the period she lives in: liberty. Anything that could interfere with her freedom and independence is avoided at any cost - even her own feelings for Stephen. Especially her feelings for Stephen. She also, to me as someone with BPD/cPTSD now pretty well in remission, reads as a very empathetic and accurate portrayal of someone with BPD/cPTSD. Personally I think Being A Woman In The Late 1700s is enough reason on its own to have it(and we don't know enough of Diana's life before the Peace of Amiens to speculate on other Sources Of Trauma other than the death of her husband and father), but a lot of her hot-and-cold feels so familiar to me. She can be so cruel, and mean it fully in the moment she's saying it, but almost immediately regret her cruelty while still doubling down because she feels she has no other options.

Wow. This got really long. I hope everyone enjoys my Aubreyad Opinions Of The Day

#ask game #thiefbird speaks

[onewomancitadel]

I have this crackfic that's been on my mind for a while which I've avoided writing because I like turning it over in my head, but part of the issue is that Cinder has this problem where no matter how lighthearted the story is, there's always this undercurrent of misery, which is unfortunately an angle I enjoy, but I can't really take the crackfic to an ultimate cracky resolution because like, yeah if they dumped a tied up Jaune on Cinder's doorstep to try and get her to join them and be Good and stop terrorising everybody, Cinder is not a character who can treat affection transactionally, and more importantly has the 'the truth is that nobody's ever loved you' inside her head on repeat, and now I'm crying, and Jaune is crying, because he can't seduce her when she's staring at him hopelessly with a scowl on her face like that.

Anyway.

#my silly little stories

[logicgunn]

E, F, K, W, and X, please?

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I have written genuine crackfic, if that counts? What To Expect When You're Expecting, and Home Is Where The Dog Is. (I love the latter so much.)

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Actively? Probably my home fandom, Stargate. I've been sharing stories since May 2019! I was into it a lot longer than that.

But Passively? I've been into all the Star Treks since I was old enough to watch TV (a few decades).

I'm a mega SciFi fan.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Rodney McKay, for sure, mostly because his 360 from SG1 to mid SGA is an exceptional turnaround. Bringing his character back was a gamble, and it paid off. I love character growth. It's not often these days that a show or a film has the time to develop their characters, everything is ACTION/BAM/ACTION/SEX/DEATH at the expense of characterisation. I don't consider a spiel of in-jokes to be sufficient character development.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

I am a sucker for most tropes, but I will hesitate at some AUs, like High School/college and anything Occult. I have read very few that I really enjoyed, most of which were my love of the writer more than the trope.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Huddling for warmth. Probably because I spent the coldest winter of my life in a caravan.

#ask #texasdreamer01 #ta muchly!

[andrea-lyn]

wip update, bc of the moving, the shaking, the posting, etc.

things that are done and ready to be edited and/or posted:

Chapter 4 of the declan + ronan fic (prob early next week bc I have dentist appt + surprise parties + father's day this weekend)

Fitzcrozier genie reincarnation fic! Debating if I'm splitting that one in two or three, but will be coming up very soon

At the rate I wrote amnesia, though it's only just been plotted, I anticipate posting the prequel/sequel to that Roy/Jamie before I leave for my vacay at end of month (it's a twist on 'the team finds out')

And the rest:

The outlander time traveller's wife old guard au which is daunting and scary and every time I open it, I ask myself if I'm ever going to finish it. I might need figure out what I would enjoy most, because it's probably a 50k+ piece and even though it's already at 15k, it just feels so overwhelming

Joe/Nicky crackfic about them being unsuspecting henchmen for Merrick (AU), where they are desperate for work and think this is just a security gig. They make a lot of problems for Merrick and soon they are getting poached

RNM Michael-is-a-jeweler!AU, where there are still aliens, and he meets the man of his dreams (who is getting married). Yes, the inspiration for this is Hallmark

Cowrite with Christi! We officially abandoned the second one bc honestly, see point about the 50k old guard fic -- too daunting, but gdi, determined to get this one out

My Blue/Gansey Pushing Daisies AU (with side Pynch) which is a bit closer to finished than I thought! It just needs some plotty wrap-up scenes and more flirting, but that's the fun part to write

The Hangster Much Ado About Nothing inspired future fic, which is also probably closer to done than I think, but I just work on this one so infrequently. I also need to figure out if I'm really going to keep their call signs in the prose or use their names and I honestly have not decided

I have four different Zukka fics, help, including: Bad at flirting (should be done soon), marriage pact with a twist, timeloop with a twist, and cracky Galavant inspired fare

Annnnd then there's a Xenk/Edgin bc I'm weak

And I say all that, knowing that if another Roy/Jamie idea bit me, this list would just grow exponentially, but that's me

#fic talk #wips

[captain-astors]

C, E, J and Z for the ask game? :>

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will: Good question, I'm usually pretty flexible and I can't think of anything that isn't sort of a given from Tokyo Ghoul, but when it comes to JJK I just don't really like Nobara and Itadori. As friends? Absolutely. As a QPR? I could be convinced with a short explanation. Explicitly dating in an allo way? Eh. Given, I haven't caught up with the manga so there's always a chance!

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?: I don't know about hilarious, but certainly cracky. This Post which resulted in Shuu does top surgery which is even less plausible than the initially proposed Kanou, but wildly amusing. Then there's the old men chronicles which I would've had more fun with at the time if I wasn't fully aware that I'd lose a mutual over it. In retrospect it's nice though! Also, I think almost everything I've shipped here is very cracky.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over: Tumblr has recently become very convinced I need to see everything related to Moomin Valley so, that I suppose.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.) Sometimes I get really scared to talk about all the reasons I like characters because I don't want to unintentionally reduce their personality to stereotypes. Thus, counterproductively I end up describing everyone with short, vague sentences out of fear of overusing reductive phrases. So today I rant free!

Hairu is absolutely fascinating to me as a character, I feel like she's a wonderful example of Ishida's special tactic of writing a character with a couple vague core ideals and points of history that hint to something far more complex in such a way that leaves you wondering if he's actually a brilliant writer or if he just left you so much space that you can fill it in with headcanons to your heart's content. Anyways, I just love how she's consumed by an unobtainable goal, (being recognized by Arima again) and her method of slaughtering as many ghouls as she can to achieve it just takes her further and further away, while also distancing her from the actual achievable reality of a closeness with Koori. It's so sad and I ADORE HER SUBTLE COMPLEXITY, it always disappoints me a little to see people to describe her as nothing but a dreamy airhead or just another murderous cog in the machine of the CCG. I do actually really like her and Koori as a pairing because they'll take so terribly long to communicate, I just also really like making Koori suffer hell. Anyways, nearly 80% of what swayed me was a fic where Koori and Hairu swapped uniforms on the first day of being partners because Hairu hated the new female one, and Koori discovered the skirt was actually very comfy. It was sweet, kind of a crackfic, and very enjoyable to read.

#miscellaneous not-art things #zeph answers questions about media/characters/ships

[thenookienostradamus]

20 questions for fic writers

Okay so this one looks insanely fun; I couldn't not hop on board. Tagged by the fantastic @nocompromise-noregrets. These are some juicy questions!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 45. Oh shit I just realized I have one fic for each year of my life.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 957,606

3. What fandoms do you write for? Many of the ones I have written for I don't anymore, but I've written for some enormous fandoms like Hannibal, Tolkien/Silmarillion, Star Wars, Sherlock, and SPN, a couple biggish ones (Detroit: Become Human , Midnight Mass, and Foundation -TV), and a shitload of tiny fandoms including The Alienist (TV), The Following, True Detective, The Exorcist (TV), and Preacher (TV).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Cernunnos (Hannibal) - 1,189; Misericorde (Hannibal) - 727; Exit Music (D:BH) - 716; The Detective Doth Protest Too Much (D:BH) - 638; The Stolen Prey (Hannibal) - 579.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! It's super important to me to take time and thank people who have commented. Also I'm not super crazy popular so I don't get a shit-ton of comments anyway. They're all gems!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hm. Most likely Nightmare Angel, my lone Supernatural fic which nobody reads because I kill Dean and send Sam on an automobile-assisted vengeance quest. Listen, it's a book-based AU and the book isn't exactly the happiest.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably This Night at the Edge of the World, which is a surprisingly poignant modern AU take on a Star Wars crack ship. Matt the fucking Radar Technician. Who knew?

8. Do you get hate on fics? Rarely. I've gotten a couple of comments along the lines of "Why didn't you do x?" or "If this was my fic I would have..." and I've found that a lot of those come from people who are well intentioned but possibly neurodivergent, so I try to be kind.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yep. All but 8 of my fics are Explicit-rated. Not sure what is meant by "what kind" - but like...hopefully the sexy kind? This is a reflection of the reason why I read fanfic. If I want character development, an engrossing story, an ingenious plot, whatever, I read original fiction. If I want to read about make-believe people banging, I read fic. I don't like longfic or romance or slow burn or whatever. Reading fic, for me, is purely for horndog reasons.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I guess the closest I've come to that is the Techienician ship, AKA Matt the Radar Technician (Adam Driver's undercover Star Wars character from a Saturday Night Live sketch) x Techie from Dredd (2012) as played by Domhnall Gleeson.

11. (there doesn't seem to be a question 11) Free space! I am loving the recent proliferation of interesting, complicated female characters in media!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Uh. I think so? Not sure if it was on AO3, though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Tons of them, actually. Which is weird because I typically like to write alone. But I've had some amazing collabs. I cowrote one of my Following fics with a friend (we've since lost touch). I wrote a crackfic called It's Hard Out There for a Balrog for a reverse bang, collaborating with @melkors-big-tits and his ridiculously amazing art and awesome ideas. My fave collab, of course, was the extraordinarily cracky Kylux holiday fic, Merry Huxmas, which I co-wrote with my sister, @gefionne.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Uh...I don't really have an all-time favorite. Just whatever is occupying my mind at the time.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I'm not entirely sure I'll ever finish The Unresisting Heart, which is a Maglor/Sauron fic. It was an experiment in style and I enjoyed it, but I'm not sure I'm in the frame of mind to finish. I keep telling myself I'll finish In Eorum Nominibus, my Midnight Mass Riley/Father Paul fic. But again...not sure.

16. What are your writing strengths? Characterization, probably. I'm pretty decent at putting together a plot with a lot of moving pieces. Dialogue. Also making things not read like fanfic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I sometimes miss opportunities for character interiority, especially with a fast-moving plot. I try not to, but my writing is vague sometimes. I don't particularly think it's a weakness, but fic readers love flowery, pretty language and I refuse to write that way.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Largely unnecessary. If you do, translate. But throwing words from another language in makes you sound like a non-native speaker trying to appear cool. If you're fluent in another language, why not just write in that language, too?

19. First fandom you wrote for? Well, if you don't count Mary Sue stories written in a spiral notebook before the computer era, probably The Matrix. Revolutions, specifically. It's not posted. It will never be posted.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Exit Music. Because its totally invented AU plot went on to inspire an original novel that may or may not be published before I die. People really do not want to read "unlikeable female characters." Sigh.

Tagging some new friends, including @mycapeisplaid and @madsmilfelsen, plus some beloved old friends: @thefangirlibrarian, @niennawept, @ruiniel, @i-did-not-mean-to, @cilil, and the obligatory @gefionne because she has the same parents as I do and also because she's awesome.

#fic #writing #tag game #fanfiction #fic asks

[lordoftherazzles]

For the ask game:

🌩️☔️

Thanks for the ask, my friend!!! Difficult ones too lmao

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

Okay, so can I just say the whole ass vampire AU I have is funny/cracky? It's what I refer to as "the crackfic" of what I have going on. Loosely based off of "What We Do in the Shadows", but also not lol. It's just a silly story with background plot...vampires...slayers....and stuff. -> Where The Shadows Lie

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

There are SO MANY ideas on my WIP list that I probably will never get to. I don't have many of these thought out, but one that I had really contemplated doing was based off of Beauty & The Beast's Christmas special - An Enchanted Christmas - just a little holiday special for my Dragonhearted universe. I honestly haven't thought too much about this one, and maybe one day I'll get the courage to do it and revisit a universe I love so much, but time will tell.

#raz answers #thedragonsmaug #bagginshield #asking the tough questions today!!

[practically-an-x-man]

C, E, H, L, P, Z

Ooooh, bonus! Thank you!

Fandom-Related Questions

C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can’t.

There's a fair group of X-Men fans that ship Hank McCoy and Alex Summers, especially after First Class, and as much as I want to enjoy it (I like Hank, I like Alex, and I think they're both incredibly bisexual) I just can't make myself see it. I just think their relationship works better as friends, like a brotherly friendship.

(I do ship Alex and Darwin though, that one's a given. Darwin's death still pisses me the fuck off)

E: Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what?

Not really? I mean, I'm sure there are some cracky/stupid elements to my fics, but I've never really just set out to write a crackfic

H: Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows?

In general, live action, but I'm not exclusive to one or the other.

L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for?

@can-of-pringles does some absolutely stunning paintings, genuinely some of the prettiest work I've seen, I'd probably request something romantic for one of my pairings but I'm not sure exactly what (it kinda depends on what specifically I've been writing recently)

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Uh.... the Be Right Back AU, based on my favorite Black Mirror episode. You take a character with a canon death, and rather than bringing them back to life, you explore the angst of them being "brought back" by only their online presence (or another limited facet of themself) - and the angst of how deeply their death affected their loved ones to even consider it.

Z: What’s a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it?

I don't really have any? Idk, I guess I'm not super deep into shipping culture, every ship I have just absolutely vanishes from my mind the instant I try to think about it.

#my friends!!! #answered asks #ask game

[dracothelizard]

For the fic writer ask meme:

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I don't really think a lot about how people will respond to fic outside of 'I hope they enjoy it', and so far people seem to like my stuff!

So fic where the response is surprising to me is more surprising in the amount of response.

Etiquette of Pirate Courtship - my first OFMD fic and I was surprised by how hungry the fandom was back in March. I was into it, but I was used to small fandoms and OFMD quickly became a megafandom.

Sinterklaas, Wie Kent Hem Niet - my first Dutch fic under that account, and surprising in that there were more Dutch people or at least people who can read Dutch than I expected :D

Where Dinghies Come From - the fic where Stede fucks the Revenge and she has his dinghy, and there the response surprised me in that it showed me how my standards for crackfic/unhingedness are clearly different from the rest of the fandom. Inanimate object porn/ anthropomorfic is a longstanding fandom tradition and yeah, Stede/The Revenge is cracky but not that weird/shocking/cracky from an overall fandom perspective. If anything, I'm surprised there isn't more Queen Anne/The Revenge, or Queen Anne getting jealous over Ed/Stede, or the Revenge getting jealous over Ed/Stede, or the Revenge playing matchmaker between Ed and Stede by making a door get stuck when they're in a small room together.

...I'm giving myself ideas now, whoops.

Anyway, Stede/The Revenge - weird, but not nearly the weirdest thing fandom has ever come up with.

#Asks #Fandom #Tbf I'm used to writing about Jeremy Clarkson fucking cars #If it's two humans shagging with human genitalia it's not unhinged sorry not sorry

[the-alpha-incipiens]

20 questions for fic writers

shamelessly stolen from @sapphicsandscience <3 questions and rambly answers beneath the read more!

How many works do you have on AO3?

63.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

451,140.

I’m kind of impressed that it’s almost half a million, but also just how much I wrote in the last two years after not writing/publishing anything at all in 2021.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, Star Trek: TNG and PIC. Before that, the fandom I wrote the most for was Once Upon a Time. Everything else was just two or three fics, at least on AO3. I’ve been writing fic for decades so there are A LOT of fics and fandoms that have been lost to time. (Random shout out to Battlestar Galactica, which I wrote for back in my LiveJournal days!)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I’m going to do two sets here, because my All Years one are all OUAT fics no one cares about anymore, and I have enough fics published from this year to have a top five of 2023 so my current fandom has something to read that will make sense to them lol.

All Years

The Fire’s Found a Home in Me - my Dragon Outlaw Queen magnum opus, the one shot collection that makes up the bulk of my Flicker Beat universe that divulges in season four. Technically “unfinished” but complete since it was never intended to have a true ending.

It Happened Once… - a Evil Captain Charming crackfic that honestly has way more kudos than I expected. This one for some reason sees a lot of traction still. It was originally supposed to have a just-as-cracky sequel, but I never finished it.

A Loaded God Complex - ah, Golden Queen, my guilty pleasure OUAT ship. Set in s6, this was the start of a set of one-shots that took the romantic Golden Queen that finally blossomed in that season and ran with it. Mostly involves a lot of dark power struggles masking as sex. Aptly all titled after Fall Out Boy lyrics, if I say so myself.

Put Your Venom in Me - another Golden Queen fic, see above.

The Computation - a little Dragon Queen one-shot I did, short and sweet. Honestly surprised it’s on here, because it’s not my best work by any means.

2023

peace - my Picard/Crusher fic set directly after the epilogue in the PIC s3 finale. I was pleasantly surprised by how much attention this fic has gotten. I had suspected I would end up writing a prequel, but I never thought it’d turn into the four part series that it has. I hope everyone still enjoys it.

Mastermind - the first Star Trek: TNG fic I wrote since I was a teenager watching TNG for the first time! This was entirely thanks to my friend Jess, if I’m remembering correctly? She prompted me to rewrite the season 2 episode “Manhunt” with Beverly in it instead of Pulaski, because my favorite toxic trait of Beverly’s is her jealousy.

what could’ve been, should’ve been (you) - my PIC s3 Picard/Crusher masterpiece. I got the idea for this by the end of episode two, struggled with it as the season went on, and then finally wrangled it into something that I truly love.

in the business of misery - jealous!Beverly makes a reappearance in this s4 TNG fic that fixes QPid. Because fuck Vash, okay.

trustfall - dlfshfsl this fic. If what could’ve been, should’ve been (you) is my PIC masterpiece, I think trustfall is my TNG one. I disparage it a bit by talking as if it’s shameless smut, but honestly I’m quite proud of it as a character piece as Picard and Beverly navigate a new relationship and new dynamics across 11k of words. Set in TNG s3, post-Sarek.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I genuinely appreciate comments, because I find it quite difficult to give them myself, so as a part of trying to be better I also try to respond to comments. I’m an awkward turtle, though, so I feel like I usually end up babbling about things people probably did not care about. If I don’t babble, I usually just leave a short and sweet “thanks for reading” that I hope doesn’t come across as insincere.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Winter Song, a OUAT fic I actually wrote for a holiday fandom advent calendar we did back in the OQ fandom. It’s a wedding fic, and smutty as is my usual, but it’s got a heavy dose of sadness. I sort of tried to make it hopeful in the end, because ending a Christmas fic with no hope felt like I was killing Christmas.

Another OUAT fic I wrote, A Spark to Ignite, was also really angsty, now that I think about it and doesn’t involve any character death (canon or otherwise). It was supposed to have a part two that fixed it but I never wrote it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooh. I’ll be polite and not take “happiest ending” to be dirty, even though I could list SO MANY fics for that. 

bound to break, my Greatest Showman AU that I wrote for Outlaw Queen (OUAT fandom, again) ends pretty cleancut happily after having some angst in the middle. And it’s technically a multi chapter fic, though it’s short lol.

I Know, I Know, I Know (I Feel the Same as You) as my Outlaw Queen college AU always makes me happy when I think about the ending.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really. I’ve gotten some comments that were definitely unnecessary and mean-spirited, but nothing major. Truthfully, I’m not nearly a big enough deal to get hate.

9. Do you write smut?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, nothing against anyone who doesn’t, but writing smut is basically all I do. It’s what I was known for in my previous fandom. It’s the thing I find the easiest to write, and secretly I suffer from a lot of insecurity because I feel like it’s the only thing I actually write very well. For a bit, in the OUAT fandom, I felt a little like a smut jukebox and it was entirely my own fault. But I wrote a lot of fun things and ultimately I enjoy writing smut.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I definitely have in my distant fic writing past, but nothing recently. OUAT almost counts as a canon crossover, given the story of it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not really. My great network of fic writing friends have definitely provided excellent guidance and suggestions that have been enormously helpful, and that’s the closest I’ve gotten.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Lol I feel like this is impossible to answer? My current hyperfixation is Picard/Crusher, and that’s a ship I’ve loved for a very, very long time. So maybe it’s that. But I’ll always hold a place in my heart for Outlaw Queen and Dragon Outlaw Queen (especially for the latter, since I wrote SO MUCH of it). Adama/Roslin is my OTP from back in my LiveJournal days that will also be special to me.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Funnily enough, it’s not a Star Trek one, even though that’s my current fandom. The WIP I really, really wish I had finished is Where the Burn Marks Form. I had SUCH PLANS for Dragon Outlaw Queen and Calida and got too intimidated by what I wanted to do to actually write it. Sometimes I think it’s for the best though, because I think any remaining DOQ fans might have been sad about what all was supposed to happen (though it was always supposed to have a happy ending).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut. Once upon a time (lol), threesomes in particular. Ironically I used to struggle a bit with writing just two people having sex after writing so much Dragon Outlaw Queen, but I find it not as difficult anymore.

Character voices. Not to brag, but something I pride myself on is getting a character’s voice right. It’s something I work very hard at, and stress a lot over, but generally feel like I succeed.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Literally anything else? You want long, detailed plotty fic? Sorry, can I interest you in a smutty one shot instead. You want something angsty? Not really my style. You want a well-plotted completely alternate universe fic? LOL please, I write fic so I don’t have to world build. Canon compliant or canon divergence or bust, baby.

I write on vibes, and I’m sure sometimes that is blatantly obvious. I have the vaguest of plans whenever I sit down to write something, and I go from there. Probably someday I should try to have actual concrete plans and not just “hmm what if i do this” vibes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Lol okay let me piss off the entire Picard/Crusher fandom real quick: IN MY OPINION, it is annoying to write dialogue in another language unless it’s like… blatantly obvious what you’re saying. Very rarely is there a point to it, and it can be easily sidestepped by “blah blah blah,” he said in French. Basic phrases, sure. Pet names, have at it! Several sentences in another language?

Look I don’t speak French. If you put French in your fic, I’m having to pull out Google translate and heaven help me if it’s dirty talk, because now Google is translating “I want to fuck you,” to English from different languages (French, it’s French, I didn’t have this problem in my other fandoms). I wish if people were going to do that, they’d at least make a footnote (I would 100% be willing to find out how to format it) and!!! I think you can still use html to set it up so that when you hover over text, it gives you a little mouseover text where you can have the translation!!! That way I don’t have to one: try and scroll down to the end notes hoping for a translation and thus breaking my immersion as I scroll back up, or at least if it’s a footnote it’ll have an anchor taking me back to the sentence in question.

Sorry rant over, everyone please continue writing however you wish, I will deal. And honestly if you use the same French phrases enough I’ll learn them anyway, so it won’t matter in the long run. This absolutely is not a deal breaker for me when it comes to reading a fic, it’s just a pet peeve.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Um, probably Harry Potter but that is my long-forgotten days.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

trustfall as mentioned above for Star Trek: TNG. With trustfall, it was maybe the second or third fic I wrote for Star Trek (I mean, at least not counting back when I was in my early teens writing for it) and I really think it's just some of my best work? It's a smut fic, but I think there's really, really good character exploration in it. It easily could have just been a fic where Beverly soft dommes Jean-Luc and all you get is that final scene, but I think the build up really makes it worth it. idk idk I have a lot of feels for this fic lolol.

Wishes in the Dark for OUAT. My key party in Storybrooke fic!! aka my Awkward David fic. I think this is one of the best fics I've written, period, for a lot of the same reasons as above. It's 30k, it's got Dragon Outlaw Queen, but more importantly it's got David lusting after Regina and Mal and getting the chance to sleep with them with Snow's permission... and then also Robin joins in and David realizes some things about himself. There's a whoooole side quest of things that was supposed to happen after this story that I never wrote. It's also got some really tender Evil Charming, because I couldn't resist.

And that's all folks! Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I know I really rambled. <3

#text post #man i haven't posted on tumblr like this in forever #idk what to tag anything with lol #fic writer questions

[mychemicalrachel]

Heya :) For the WIP ask game: 🌩️

Hey thanks for the question!! 💞

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

I have a mpreg Pynch fic in the works and honestly the entire idea feels like a crackfic 🤣 Ronan accidentally dreams himself 8 months pregnant and they have to deal with the consequences (i.e; morning sickness, weird cravings, Ronan’s giant fucking baby belly...)

While Ronan showered, Adam went downstairs to start a pot of coffee. He was not going back to sleep tonight. He was on his second cup by the time Ronan waddled down the stairs, breathing hard when he finally lowered himself into a chair across from Adam. He’d pulled on a pair of sweatpants but no shirt. There probably wasn’t a shirt in the whole house that would fit him right now.

He had to shift a bit to accommodate his overgrown stomach, knocking it against the table a few times, swearing either at the table or the belly or just the situation. Coffee from Adam’s mug sloshed over the rim. He ignored it.

He couldn’t look away from Ronan.

More specifically, he could not look away from Ronan’s stomach.

“My eyes are up here, Parrish,” Ronan said without any heat.

[WIP ASK GAME]

#ask game #pynch #I'll finish this after i finish the florist au after i finish my decladam fic..... #so. #eventually