No smut in this chapter, but going forward, we’ll probably have something every chapter.
Sansa had invited Margaery for lunch because she needed to talk to someone.
She didn’t know what she was doing anymore. She was constantly wavering on her decision. She’d think it was a terrible idea, then she’d think there was nothing wrong with it. She’d feel guilty about the situation, then remember the orgasms…
Jon was an adult and this had been his idea, and she’d accepted it because she’d wanted to, but… She’d never been the type to have casual sex, she liked relationships, even though she seemed to have bad taste in men.
Just look at Joffrey and Harry. Jon had done more for her -sexually speaking -in two meetings than they’d done for her in their entire relationship.
And that was plain depressing.
Sansa understood that she wasn’t in a normal relationship with Jon. She didn’t even know if they could call what was going on a ‘relationship’. She wasn’t into him in a romantic sense, and she knew he felt the same. This was just about sex, even though it wasn’t exactly casual.
At least Sansa didn’t think this could be called casual.
Was she overthinking this whole thing?
She probably was, which was why she’d called Margaery.
Margaery would know what to do.
They met for lunch at Marge’s favorite bistrot, found a table, ordered drinks…
Margaery was telling Sansa something about her family’s business, and Sansa didn’t even know what happened to her, but she just… “Marge?”
Margaery hummed as she took a sip from her drink.
“I’ve had sex with Jon.”
Margaery choked on her drink, and Sansa had to slap her on the back. “Sansa!” Margaery hissed. “Give a woman fair warning.” Then she arched an eyebrow. “But also give her details.”
Sansa groaned. “I can’t believe I said it that way.”
“Neither can I.” Margaery admitted. “Fortunately this dress is black.” She eyed her skirt, since some of her drink had spilled.
“I’m sorry.” Sansa cringed. “I’ll pay the dry cleaner.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the dry cleaner. Tell me about the sex!”
“Sh!” Sansa looked around wildly. “Don’t say it so loud.”
“Come on.” Marge pressed.
Sansa sighed. “We didn’t… It wasn’t exactly sex.”
The other woman arched an eyebrow. “Now I’m confused.”
Sansa couldn’t believe she was about to say this. “Jon is helping me with the list. We just did the first two.”
Margaery seemed confused for a minute, but then her whole face was colored by shock. “You mean the sex challenge list?”
“Oh my god!”
“I know! I can’t believe…”
“Not the point! Jon? As in Jon Snow? Your brother’s best friend?”
“Yes, we only know one Jon.” Sansa reminded her dryly.
“How did this happen?”
Sansa explained to Marge how she sent the message by accident, the conversation she had to Jon and everything that happened after.
By the end of it, Margaery was laughing so hard, the couple on the next table were throwing her dirty looks.
“Margaery!” Sansa hissed.
“This is great, darling.” She said, trying to catch her breath. “And not only the story itself, but the whole deal.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah.” Margaery finally got herself under control. “Your logic was pretty sound, and Jon did find you a guy you could trust. Even if it turned out to be himself.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I can’t think of a better person to help you experiment with sex.”
“Really?” Sansa couldn’t believe how easy Margaery had accepted this.
“Jon is a good guy. We all know that. He won’t treat you badly, he won’t blabber, and apparently he knows what he’s doing.”
Sansa sighed and nodded.
“But, babe.” Margaery said seriously, covering Sansa’s hand with hers. “I don’t really think I need to say this, but I will anyway. Don’t catch feelings.”
“For Jon?” Sansa couldn’t help but scoff. “That’s very unlikely.”
“Well, before, yes. But now you two will be getting really close, and things can get… Mixed.”
Sansa’s shoulders sagged. “You think so?”
“Listen, Sansa.” Margaery gave her hand a squeeze. “I’m not saying you will… But just pay attention to your feelings, okay? There’s nothing wrong with changing how you feel about a situation, but you need to be careful. Like with sex, feelings require communication. Whatevers happens now, you need to be honest with Jon, and ask for the same. Ok?”
“You’re quiet.” Sam spoke, seemingly out of nowhere. “More than usual.”
Jon sighed. “I did something stupid.” He admitted.
“I see…” Sam said carefully.
“And I’m… Still kind of doing it.”
“Okay…” Sam dragged the word. “Do you want to explain that better? I mean, it’s fine if you don’t but maybe it’ll help?”
“I…” Jon cleared his throat. “I’m kind of… Involved with someone.”
“But it’s supposed to be casual.”
“And you don’t want it to be casual?”
“That’s not it!” Jon hurried to say. “I… I didn’t expect this to happen, but I’m enjoying it. I’m just worried that it might get complicated.”
Sam hummed his understanding. “But why would it get complicated?”
“She’s someone I’ve known for a long time. And I know her family…”
“Oh my god. Are you sleeping with Sansa Stark?”
“How the fuck do you know that?” Jon demanded.
“It’s the only person that fits the description.” Sam pointed out. “It’d never be Arya or Yara, so… Only one person left.”
“Fuck.” Jon groaned, covering his face with his hands.
“Wow.” Sam sighed. “I don’t mean that in… I wasn’t say she is… Anyway. I can see why you’re concerned.”
“I shouldn’t do this, should I?” Jon asked.
“Well… You’re both adults. If you want to, and she wants to… As long as you’re honest with each other, there’s nothing wrong about it.”
Jon groaned. “I don’t think her family would agree.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “If you go to her family and tell them what’s going on, then you deserve to be -at least -slapped around.”
He did have a point.
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Still not hot, but getting warmer ;)
Jon felt like shit.
Now, if anyone asked his few friends –especially Tormund – they’d say it wasn’t something new. They enjoyed saying that Jon liked to brood.
It wasn’t true. He had his moments –he’d admit it –but he didn’t make it his life or anything.
But the way he had talked to Sansa earlier… Yeah, he felt like shit.
He had some pretty good excuses to justify himself –what she did had been foolish and could’ve gotten her into a lot of trouble –but it was a lie.
The truth –the embarrassing and shameful truth –was that Jon reacted so badly because of how he felt upon reading that message.
It had been past one, the night had been calm so far and he and the other men were playing cards when his phone chimed, indicating a message had arrived. He opened it, without really paying attention to it, saw it was from Sansa, read the part about helping her. He was wondering if she wanted some kind of furniture done for her apartment, because Lord knew they rarely talked to each other socially, so he couldn’t imagine any other reason for her to contact him.
Then he opened the link.
It was… A sexual bucket list. 30 something items in it.
Jon went back to properly read the message. Yes, it was from Sansa and she was asking his help with it. How did she even know he was good at oral? He was pretty sure he never talked about his sex life with her.
Unbidden and unwanted, an image came to his head: Sansa splayed on his bed, legs spread wide, her fingers clutching his hairs and he licked her…
The image was so strong he had to literally shake his head to get rid of it.
It had to be some kind of sick joke. Sansa would never proposition him like this.
“What have you got there, Snow?” Tormund demanded, when he failed to answer a previous question.
Jon cleared his throat and put his phone away, clearing his throat. “Nothing.”
“Nothing, hn?” Satin arched an eyebrow. “Got a new girl, Snow?”
“Jon?” Turmund snickered. “Swear to God, his pecker’s gonna fall off from disuse.”
As the rest of the night proceeded with no big emergencies, the men started theorizing about Jon’s hypothetical girl, they made jokes and crude suggestions.
He knew he shouldn’t feel offended, there was no girl. They had no idea who was that on the phone, if there really was someone. They all had no idea how ashamed Jon was feeling about his reaction, and most of them would never make jokes like those if they really thought there was someone.
It was just… It was Sansa! Her father had raised him, her brother was his best friend; and said brother would kill him slowly if he ever dreamed that he’d thought –for a fucking second –of Sansa like that.
He needed to talk to her as soon as possible.
However, the closer he got to her apartment, the more his embarrassment was replaced by some misguided anger. How could she send a message like that to anyone? Did she have any idea how some men talked to each other about women? Jon knew some guys from the station that would have made a show of passing that message around.
Sansa was better than that.
In the end he’d been as much of an asshole as most of those guys. He hadn’t meant to fight with Sansa, but he had anyway.
And who the fuck was he to tell her what to do?
Jon put down the hammer he’d picked and never used. Arya liked to tease him saying that wood carving and designing furniture really completed Jon’s lone brooding mountain-man lifestyle. She sometimes asked him if he had adopted a bear yet. Never mind there were no bears –or mountains, as a matter of fact - around there.
Jon liked carving and working with wood, he even sold some of his pieces online. Besides, it was relaxing.
He sighed and decided to quit while he was ahead, before he destroyed some project. He had just gone back to the living room of his small cabin when the headlights lit it from the outside.
He walked to the door and opened it in time to see Sansa getting out of her car. To say that he was shocked would be an understatement. He hadn't expected to see her so soon, but this was actually good, because he could apologize now.
She was really serious and stopped even before reaching his porch. “Hey, Jon.” Her voice was small, tentative.
Jon gave her a small smile, trying to reassure her. “Hey, Sansa. Wanna come in? I’ll make us tea.”
She nodded and made her way to him. He held the door open for her. She stopped in the middle of his living room and he watched as she took the place in.
Sansa had grown up in a big house, with every bit of comfort that could be given to a child, and that made Jon wonder how she’d view his place. This cabin was all he had left from his parents and he liked it, but it probably looked too… Bare, for someone like Sansa, who worked with interior design for a living and had always loved pretty things.
“Is this one of yours?” She pointed at the coffee table.
Jon cleared his throat. “Yes. One of my first ones.”
She hummed something, eyes still on the piece. “You should consider selling more of those.”
Was this some kind of compliment? “I like to do them in my own time; no pressure, no demands.”
Sansa just nodded her head softly, looking at the table, but Jon was pretty sure she wasn’t seeing it anymore. “I’ll go get us that tea.” He said, just to break the silence.
She finally turned to him. “I’m not here for tea, Jon.” She sighed. “I just… I came to say sorry.”
“Sorry?” Jon was caught by surprise. “Why would you say sorry to me?” He asked, completely confused. “I should be the one apologizing.”
“Yes, you should and I was planning on making sure you would.” She admitted with a small grin. “But you were worried about me and I guess I shouldn’t get exactly angry about it. Besides, it wasn’t like you were expecting to get a porny text from me.”
If she thought that was porny she had a few things to learn.
Not that he wanted to be the one to teach her.
He had nothing to teach her.
He shouldn’t even think about….
What the fuck was wrong with him?
“You’ve said it yourself, Sansa. It was a joke, I got the text by accident.” He hurried to say, eager to let her off the hook, so he could start forgetting about this.
He had re-read that list. He shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He told himself it was just curiosity.
And it was.
He chanced a look at Sansa and saw that she was biting her lower lip.
Jon knew that face, he knew it very well and it never boded well for him, Robb or basically anyone that wasn’t a sadistic bastard –or Arya.
That face meant she was about to ask something, and Jon knew –from previous experiences –that he wouldn’t be able to say ‘no’. That was how she tricked him and Robb into playing Barbie with her.
When Sansa blinked those blue eyes at people she always got what she wanted.
“I’ve been thinking about something you said earlier.” She started.
“OK…” Jon agreed carefully.
“About how men talk about women they have sex with.” She clarified.
Jon just nodded, not sure where this was going.
“I do know that guys can say… Stuff.” She sighed. “And even lie about this, just because people always believe them.”
Something in her voice made Jon pay even more attention to her. She did know because it had happened to her. “Who said what about you?” He all but demanded.
He hadn’t realized he’d growled until Sansa looked a bit alarmed. “Nobody.” She lied quickly. “That wasn’t my point. What I wanted to say is that –as a guy –you know what guys say.”
Jon let go of the lie –for now –and arched an eyebrow at her logic. “So?”
She bit her lip again, which meant she was getting ready to ask whatever she wanted to ask. The way she was delaying it meant it was something she didn’t think he’d want to do. By the tone of this conversation he was pretty sure he wouldn’t.
“And you work at the fire station, with a lot of other guys…” She continued.
He really didn’t like where this was going. “Sansa…”
“Maybe you could introduce me to one of them.” She finally asked.
“Why?” Jon asked shocked. Sansa only dated those preppy boys and idiotic lawyers, why would she want to… “Is this about the list?” He asked, beyond shocked.
Sansa pressed her lips together and didn’t answer, which was answer enough.
“No! Absolutely no.”
“Jon, just listen to me…” Sansa started.
“I’m not going to hook you up with some guy that I work with just so you can do this stupid list with...”
“It’s not just about the list!” She argued. “I mean… Yeah, sure, it’s a bit about it, but not only that.” She admitted. “It’s just that everybody keeps saying how amazing sex is and I have yet to see it. So maybe I just need something different and completely out of my comfort zone.”
“Wait a second.” Jon was still caught in another part of her speech. “You’ve never… You didn’t…”
Sansa arched an eyebrow and dared him to finish that sentence.
“You dated before.” He knew the answer to that, but still felt like he needed to check it.
“Yes.” She crossed her arms protectively in front of herself. “I’m not a virgin, Jon.” She said defensively.
No, but apparently she’d had seriously crappy sex. Not that he was about to tell her that, because… Well, this was Sansa and he shouldn’t even think about her and sex at the same time.
If he really thought about it, it wasn’t that shocking. He remembered two of her boyfriends: Joffrey Baratheon and Harry Hardying, both were arrogant pricks, that felt like the world belonged to them because they had fancy last names and money. They were the type of men that thought only about themselves, it was logical it’d be the same when it came to sex.
When his silence stretched too long, Sansa started to squirm. “Look, I don’t want anything serious. I just want a guy that it’s going to treat me nicely and… Well…” She made a vague gesture with her hand. “And maybe you know a guy that’d be okay with this.”
“No!” Jon repeated. “I’m not going to pimp you out to one of my coworkers, Sansa. This is crazy.”
Just the idea of something like that left a bad taste in his mouth. There were many men in his station that were good men, that he knew would treat any woman with respect, but he wasn’t going to introduce Sansa to them.
Yes, her idea had its merits. He knew the guys and knew how they talked about the women they went out with, he could tell which one of them he’d never introduce to any woman, because they were pricks.
But not Sansa! Not even to the best of them and he knew many of them would love this idea of hers.
Sansa rolled her eyes, like he was the crazy one. “Okay, fine.” Her voice was sharp. “I’ll just have to find someone myself then.”
That was even worse!
Sansa went to pass him, so she could leave, and Jon grabbed her arm to stop her. Her eyes snapped to him, widened in her surprise. Jon couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised himself, he never touched Sansa like that.
Thinking about it now… He was sure he hardly ever touched her at all.
He was going to say he was sorry, but then he’d explain to her all the reasons this was a ridiculous idea. Sansa was a smart woman; she’d see he was right. She was sensible, he’d be convincing.
Then they could all forget the last 24 hours had happened at all.
That was what Jon planned on doing, he had the words sorted out in his head; but what actually came out was something completely different.
“Then let me do it.”
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