Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup
Or Cream Of Chicken Noodle Soup
There's a lot of things I really hate about how our current American society handles food and cooking, but there's a particular thing that I hate about recipes. And that is of course, Capitalism. Like this is an example of how Capitalism has actively contributed to making a thing, and everyone involved in that thing, worse at doing that thing.
Recipes as we know them are a modern concept, like an Album of Music or a Movie, it is an abstract thing that we have rules about. It is a thing that affects literally everyone who participates in society. The commodification of music and stories has definitely resulted in Albums and Movies that would not have been possible without said commodification. How you feel about that says something about your politics, there are certainly people on both sides of the argument. But I don't think anyone actually thinks the commodification of recipes has resulted in better food, and if they do they are wrong.
Recipes as commodities have to either benefit a product by incentivizing the purchase of that product, like the recipe for rice crispy treats benefits every company that makes puffed rice cereal and marshmallows, or it has to be enough of a Complex Special Snowflake to Sell Other Shit like cookbooks, or Cooking Shows, or however the fuck cooking blogs monetize their shit.
And I fucking hate it! And if I ever actually do anything with my waste of a life I might build a website and recipe database that's just free and opensource and just fucking about and only about the real heart of recipes that makes them actually useful!!!
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 yellow onion, chopped
2 carrots, chopped
2 celery ribs, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup whole milk
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
4 cups chicken broth
3 cups cooked shredded chicken
1 teaspoon fresh thyme
1 teaspoon kosher salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
2 cups wide egg noodles
½ cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
This is the ingredient list for the recipe I used tonight. I want to read this recipe to the person who wrote it and every time I get to an ingredient that is strike-through I want to violently shake them and scream FUCK YOU in their face.
3 to 5 tablespoons of butter or oil
1/4 cup to 1 cup chopped vegetables, suggested 1 small onion & 2 carrots. Celery, garlic, mushrooms, or any root vegetable optional.
1 cup milk, highly suggested whole or 2%
3 tablespoons flour
4 cups chicken broth (4 tsp chicken bouillon powder or 2 bouillon cubes dissolved in 4 cups water)
3 cups cooked shredded chicken (approximately 3 breasts, but including dark meat and skin will enhance flavor)
2 cups wide egg noodles measured dry and uncooked
For extra creamy texture and taste highly recommend: 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
Suggested seasonings: 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp black pepper, 1 tbsp lemon juice, 1 tablespoon parsley (MY suggested seasonings, 1 tsp lawry's seasoned salt, 1 tsp black pepper, 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper, 1/2 tsp garlic powder, 1/2 tsp onion powder)
THIS is a list of ingredients that's actually helpful! You know sometimes exact amounts of salt and lemon juice are extremely vital and necessary parts of a recipe, and sometimes they are just part of the random shit you can throw in to make it taste more like the kind of food you like. This recipe does not NEED fucking LEMON JUICE. It does not NEED an acid, some people think that lemon flavor pairs well with chicken. But if you didn't have lemon juice it would be fucking stupid to substitute a different acid like lime juice or vinegar. There is a difference between ingredients in a recipe and god damned flavor suggestions!
What a recipe SHOULD be is a blueprint for primary ingredient ratios. Before I looked up this recipe I knew exactly how to make it. I knew I was going to combine butter, flour, broth, milk, meat, vegetables, and noodles. That's the recipe! That's literally all this recipe boils down to. Those are the important parts. You can substitute any vegetable or meat or broth for another and describe very different soups. And if you used these same ratios you'd probably still end up with a decent soup, just not the ideal one. Potatoes will absorb moisture, while mushrooms will produce it. This is the ideal ratio specifically for carrots, onion, and chicken. If you don't put any onion or garlic in it, will it be a radically different soup? NO GOD DAMN IT! What about if you use a fuck ton of vegetables, just going bonkers? 6 carrots, a large onion, 3 celery ribs, and a half pound of mushrooms? It will still be fine, and probably enjoyed more if you love a ton of CRUNCH in your soup. (I don't, I like a my soup to be the same consistency of soft and mushy. And I didn't have any carrots, so the only vegetables I used were onion and half a stick of celery) But if you double the amount of milk and cream? You're risking the whole thing! That much milk and the flavor is going to be bland, maybe even sweet, and good luck cooking the noodles at a low boil, that much milk is going to be sticking and clumping and burning at the bottom of the pot you'll need to stir it nonstop like you're making fucking tapioca.
When a recipe is commodified it's trying to deliver some asshole's exact experience of his exact soup exactly how it would taste at his stupid restaurant in the first half of autumn during a waxing gibbon moon, that's not fucking useful! That's not how we buy our food or ingredients and its not how we cook!
It has been a number of years but I looked and I mean really looked to find a useful app or program or website for building a library of recipes, actual recipes, basic fundamental building blocks for meals. But there isn't one, every fucking thing out there was so god damned commodified to the point of being useless.
Anyways here's the fucking instruction steps to this amazing delicious soup I cooked tonight, it was the best soup I've ever made or tasted and it was really easy but that ease came from the fact that I had a ton of leftover rotisserie chicken from the grocery store that was really bland and dry when I ate it on its own but all the dark meat and skin was really good for the soup. I also have heavy cream because I like it in my coffee.
If you are adding heavy cream at the end, pour out your measured amount now and leave close to the stove so that it will warm closer to room temperature and isn't refrigerator cold when you add it at the end.
In a large pot, heat the butter (or oil) over medium-high heat. Add the onion, carrots, and celery fucking vegetables. Cook until vegetables are tender about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 2 more minutes if you're a sophisticated cunt and chop fresh garlic for a soup otherwise just use a little garlic powder, I did because I had some garlic but I doubt it made any difference!
In a small bowl, whisk together the milk and flour. Pour the mixture into the soup pot and stir, making sure there are no lumps of flour. I did this as instructed but you could probably just stir the flour into the sizzeling butter and vegetables and stir until there's no clumps and then stir in the milk. Stir in the chicken broth. Add the shredded chicken and thyme whatever fresh herbs you have lying about because you're so sophisticated. Season with salt and pepper.
Bring the soup to a low boil and stir in the egg noodles. Cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until noodles are soft. You need to baby this step to make sure the milk doesn't burn on the bottom of the pan, better to move to your smallest burner and use your lowest setting and cook longer if the noodles aren't quite tender at 10 minutes, putting a lid on it between stirs is advised. Stir at least every 3 minutes. Oh look I actually gave some exact details at the part that's actually important and will make a big difference to the outcome.
Stir in the heavy cream, lemon juice, and parsley and any additional sensitive flavor elements like lemon juice if that's the kind of person you are. Save this for the very last moment, stir on low heat about 2 minutes then remove from heat.
Ladle the soup into bowls and serve warm. I'll suck it from a beer bong while it's still boiling hot if I want to, what kind of fucking step is this? Was this your way of trying to say that you can't just let the soup with the heavy cream sit on the stove on low heat for 30 minutes while you wait for everyone to sit down because it will burn?
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Chicken and Cornbread Casserole
6-8 servings
This is comfort food! This is a tasty casserole dish that isn’t difficult to prepare and is very filling.
Ingredients
The chicken layer
1 (10 ¾ ounces) can cream of chicken soup
1 (10 ¾ ounces) can cream of mushroom soup
¾ cup milk
4 cups cubed cooked chicken (2 large, boneless, skinless chicken breasts or use leftover cooked chicken or rotisserie chicken)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
Cornbread layer
1 (8.5 ounces) cornbread mix
1 (14.75 ounces) creamed corn
1/3 cup sour cream
1 egg. beaten
2 tablespoons melted butter
Directions
Preheat the oven to 400˚. Spray a 9” x 13” baking dish with a non-stick spray.
In a large bowl combine the cream of chicken soup, cream of mushroom soup and milk. Stir until combined. Then add the chicken and cheese. Stir until combined and then place in the prepared 13” x 9” oven safe dish.
In a different bowl mix together the corn bread mix, the creamed corn, the sour cream, egg and butter. Then spread the corn bread mixture over the chicken layer.
Bake uncovered for about 40 minutes. If the cornbread crust gets too dark while baking cover loosely with aluminum foil. Once it is done remove from the oven and let it stand for 5 minutes or so before cutting in.
Note
If the casserole is not eaten right up it can be eaten the next day. It is also a way to use up leftovers.
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Chestnut Soup with Bacon and Chives
4 slices thick-cut bacon, diced (about 4 oz.)
1 Tbsp. unsalted butter
1 carrot, sliced
1 celery stalk, sliced
1 small leek (white and light-green parts only), split lengthwise and sliced (about 1 cup)
2 small shallots, roughly chopped (about 1/2 cup)
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
5 cups low-sodium chicken broth, plus more as needed
1 15-ounce jar whole roasted chestnuts
½ cup heavy cream
Crème fraîche, snipped chives, and grated nutmeg, for garnish
In a large saucepan over medium heat, cook bacon until rendered and crisp, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer bacon to a paper towel–lined plate. Pour off all but 1 teaspoon of the fat. In the same saucepan, melt the butter, and add the carrot, celery, leek, and shallots. Season with salt and pepper. Cook over medium-low heat until softened and golden brown, 8 to 10 minutes.
Add broth and chestnuts to the saucepan. Bring to a simmer, partially cover, and cook until all the ingredients are soft, about 30 minutes. Let cool slightly, and purée in batches in a blender until very smooth. Return to saucepan, add the cream, and heat thoroughly, adding stock to thin if needed. (A spoon should not leave a trail on the surface of the soup.)
Season with salt and pepper and ladle into warmed shallow bowls. Garnish with the reserved bacon, a dab of crème fraîche, chives, and a pinch of nutmeg.
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