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ethelphantom · 4 years

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it’s a WONDERful day

Maribat March 2020, day 2: Training. Because we do not have enough WW & LB solidarity. Or friendship. Or fucking anything.

Ao3

This is Maribat -- don’t like; don’t read

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“Aaahh, finally done. Never again. Chat, did you get the Peacock Miraculous? I need to get them to the Guardian,” Ladybug said, reaching out her open palm for Chat to give the pin to her. She already had the Butterfly in her other hand, so now as long as she got the Peacock from Chat, it would be great. He did hand it to her, after a moment.

“Do I— Do I have to give my ring away too?” he asked, hesitating. There was uncertainty and sadness in his voice, and it just broke Ladybug’s heart.

“I don’t know. I’m not taking it away from you, if that’s what you’re asking. If you do need to give it away, the Guardian will come to you and take it himself, just like he was the one to give it to you. I certainly hope he doesn’t want them back, I would hate to have to give Tikki back,” she replied. Ladybug put her hand on Chat’s shoulder and rubbed it with her finger. “But whatever happens, remember what we agreed on doing if we or one of us loses their Miraculous.”

Chat simply nodded before he took off, saluting to her and the woman standing behind her. Ladybug watched Chat go, a sad smile lingering on her face. Then she turned around to face the woman clad in red and blue armor, along with golden accents and a golden lasso. The woman smiled at her warmly.

“It’s wonderful to finally meet you, miss Ladybug,” she said and bowed to her. Ladybug was taken aback. She knew this woman was strong — after all, she had helped them defeat Papillon and Mayura, and she kept her emotions in check rather easily when Ladybug had told her how Papillon could and would use emotions against them, but she didn’t really know her. The woman continued speaking. “I am Wonder Woman, the champion of the Amazons, and the daughter of Queen Hippolyta, a previous—”

“Your mother was a Ladybug?”

Ladybug’s eyes were filled with fascination as they widened. Maybe there was a chance she could meet a previous Ladybug after all, if this woman indeed was Hippolyta’s daughter. She’d heard a lot about her from Tikki.

“Yes, yes she was, and when we heard there was a new Ladybug, we thought we would like to meet her. I was sent here to see how you were doing first, since the Ladybug is never brought to the world unless there is a great threat, and it seems I came at a good time. That man was your threat, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah. Papillon’s been a pain for too many months, but I’m pretty sure defeating him would have taken far longer had you not come and helped, so thank you for that!”

“It was no problem, I was happy to be able to help Ladybug. It seems you hadn’t managed to complete your training before being thrown into the war, so I would like to offer you a chance to train with my people. They are one the best warriors there are, so I am certain you would benefit of that,” Wonder Woman said and smiled at Ladybug.

Kwamii, the woman was gorgeous and she was offering her help, their help. There was absolutely no way she could say no.

Except, she was still barely 14 and had not finished school. Also, she was rather certain that they would not be here in Paris, so she would also have to come up with a reason to leave her parents, which was going to be much more difficult.

“I would love to do that, but… I’m not really sure I can? There’s school, my parents… I don’t think I know a way to avoid all that to be able to come,” she admitted, and Wonder Woman’s face hardened a little.

“Parents? School? Are you still in university?”

“No, I’m in middle school still. And I live with my parents — I’m not an adult yet.”

“You’re what? Were you put in the middle of war as a child?” The tone of her voice, while calm, radiated cold fury, but Ladybug got the idea that it wasn’t directed at her and rather at the person who’d chosen her — so Master Fu.

“Yes…?”

“I would certainly like to have a word with whoever your teacher is. They must have known that a child is not to be put to fight adults’ war, not when the evil you’re up against is far older than you are. You did wonderful considering that, though. Good job, I am proud of you.”

Wonder Woman was, for the lack of a better word, seething. She definitely wasn’t happy with Master Fu, but the reassurance she wasn’t angry with Ladybug (no, instead she was proud of her and said she’d done well!) brought a smile on her face. To be complimented by someone who certainly knew how to fight better than she did was an intoxicating feeling.

“Thank you!”

“Regardless, the offer of training stands. If it is a requirement, I live in the United States and know rather many influential people, so I could come up with something that would allow you to come with me. I understand revealing your identity is something you aren’t comfortable with, and shouldn’t be either, but that is likely necessary. If I know what you’re interested in, I could contact a person who could be responsible for you in your parents’ eyes while you trained with my people. Education would not be a problem either, that can and will be provided to you should you ask for it.”

Ladybug considered it. It was a wonderful opportunity and she didn’t want to miss it for the world. Besides, she had a feeling she could trust this woman. She was actually pretty certain that little voice in her ear telling her it was alright to have faith in her was Tikki.

“Alright, in that case, yes! Will you follow me so I can detransform somewhere safer? And if you could wear something more… civil, that would probably make things easier. My civilian self probably shouldn’t be seen near Wonder Woman,” Ladybug laughed nervously. She hoped it wasn’t too much to ask, but regardless she hurried to add, “it’s okay if you’re in a disguise even then, it’s just that I don’t want others to know my identity. My privacy is violated enough as it is.”

“Of course, Ladybug. Lead the way.”

Ladybug led them to a quiet alley where she could let her transformation fall. It was relieving to feel Tikki slip out of her earrings, and her suspicions about it being Tikki whispering in her ear were confirmed when Tikki didn’t complain about revealing herself to someone and instead flew to Wonder Woman and happily greeted her. “Diana! It’s so great to see you again! How long has it already been, at least two millennia, right?”

Wonder Woman — Diana — smiled and offered her hand for Tikki to land on. She did. “Yes, it has certainly been far too long. Is it alright if I take your Soul to Themyscira? It seems she hasn’t completed her training yet, which is unacceptable for a Ladybug.”

“She never did get any training. We didn’t have time before Papillon appeared. But yes, if she wants that, it’s all good with me. After all, I’d love to see your mother again, and all the others as well, but you know. She was my holder at some point too. Also, how did you know?”

“She what? And do you really think I wouldn’t be able to sense who the Soul you created belonged to? Tikki, you underestimate me. I’m no longer a child — she’s clearly the Soul of Creation,” Diana laughed and flicked Tikki’s head gently. It was rather adorable, if you asked Marinette.

Except.

Wait.

The soul of creation?

“It means you’re the true holder of the Ladybug Miraculous, Marinette,” Tikki said, suddenly floating in front of her. “I created your soul — it seems it decided to be born as you in this time and this place. I didn’t know when you were to be born, just that you would, one day.”

Oh. She’d said that out loud.

Diana changed her appearance as well, and then they were ready to go.

It… It didn’t take too long to convince her parents. It worked even better since Diana found out she loved designing clothes because Diana herself owned a fashion company and knew a few people who she could create a collaboration with to give Marinette a chance to try her hand at creating an actual line. The fact Diana was going to be the one responsible also felt better since that meant she wouldn’t even need to lie to her parents, really. Diana would actually let her do it.

The flight to the States to first get to Diana’s boutique and to have one of her acquaintances in on her plan (Marinette was rather surprised how quick Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen were to create a collaboration with her but Marinette decided she didn’t want to question it. She felt like there was a story behind both she wouldn’t be too happy to know), and then they left to find the Paradise Island, the new Themyscira. Diana advised her to transform into Ladybug because the Island could exist anywhere and anywhen, so being Ladybug when entering would make it much easier upon finding it.

The Amazons welcomed her warmly and gave her a small bow as well. This time Ladybug had been expecting it as Diana had explained that any Ladybug would be held high in their eyes as their Queen had been Ladybug once upon a time. It didn’t make it any less weird, though. It was wonderful to be welcomed so well, though. It made her happy (and maybe a bit teary-eyed but that was another thing.)

While Diana went off to talk with Queen Hippolyta, Tikki and Antiope who had come back just because she’d heard Ladybug was back, Marinette took it as a chance to get to know Artemis of Bana-Mighdall and Donna Troy, as well as one of the Honorary Amazons: Cassie Sandsmark. It was nice to have (relatively) younger company, and she ended up especially liking Cassie who was the closest to her age. They’d all come just to meet the new Ladybug as well, all having at least heard the stories of Hippolyta as an Amazon.

Artemis had taken another look at Marinette when she offhandedly mentioned school and just stared at her before speaking, slowly, as though she couldn’t comprehend it (Marinette doubted it was that — it was more like she was just as scandalised by it as Diana had been earlier), “Gods damn it, why is the new Ladybug a literal child? Considering you aren’t an Amazon, that is far too young to be actually fighting in a war with the strongest Miraculous there is. Please tell me the Cat was an adult so you had someone supervising you, at least.”

“Nope! Just me and Chat, who is of my age, fighting against Papillon and Mayura, both definitely adults.”

“You did get to at least start proper training before you started fighting, though, right?”

“Again, nope. I got my Miraculous maybe twenty minutes before I had to transform for the first time because Papillon had attacked Paris.”

Artemis had buried her head in her hands and groaned something that sounded like “kids aren’t supposed to be fighting adults’ wars, what the hell.” Marinette just shrugged. Then, just as Cassie was about to take her to a tour around the Island, Hippolyta turned to look at them.

“Are you actually telling me you have no training? And that you were thrown in the middle of war with absolutely no training by your teacher?“ Marinette nodded; Hippolyta sighed. “Alright, we’re most certainly going to give you a proper Amazonian training so you will never again be the inferior one in a fight. Any Ladybug deserves that much, especially one with the Soul of Creation. Cassie, take her to the tour because you already managed to promise it to her, but afterwards, we’ll start your training. Artemis, if you can stay for a while to train her as well, that would be wonderful, but if you have to get back to the Outlaws, go ahead.”

Artemis stayed.

And yes, Marinette got her training, from the Amazons, but also a few superheroes both Artemis and Diana were in contact with, namely the Red Hood and Batman, since neither of the two had superpowers and the Amazons thought it would be good she got some training from people who were only human, like her. Superman was roped into occasional training sessions as well. All of the training sessions with Superman, Red Hood and Batman always happened outside of Themyscira, though.

Needless to say, the next time anyone dared to rise against Paris and especially the new Ladybug, it didn’t take long to end it all and return the world to its natural balance.

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@freshbark @maribat-march2020 @catsandfanfic @fertileleaf @kris-pines04 @thethirdwheelfriend @daminett4life @abrx2002 @persephonebutkore @eat0crow

#Maribat #maribatmarch2020 #ml x dc #dc x mlb #dc #ml #miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #fanfic #ethel's writing

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sandy-sides · 6 years

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Super (Zero) Hero AU

Where abilities or super powers are the norm in the world... but every power has a cost for using it....

Patton - Time Manipulate

Patton can completely stop or speed up events. He can direct the ability to one thing that he is physically touching. He reversed time..... once. never again.

Downside: It takes energy from him, so after using his ability he gets hungry. If he exerts himself too much, he will become exhausted and may starve.

Example: Patton puts the cake batter in a pan, slips on an oven mitten and focuses on the cake pan. Slowly, the cake bakes without an oven!

Roman - Sensory Manipulation (Illusions)

Roman can create extremely realistic illusions straight from his mind utilizing any of the five senses (or all of them).

Downside: Roman loses the senses he needs for his illusions... technically, Roman has never seen his own illusions with his own eyes. His illusions can’t be caught on camera.

Example: Roman makes the illusion of a cake. You can see, touch, smell, and even taste it. Roman loses his sens of sight, touch, smell and taste as long as the cake illusion is activated. If he over exerts himself, Roman could lose his senses for hours (sometimes days) after making the illusion even when the illusion is no longer active.

Virgil - Invisibility

Virgil can become completely invisible. Anything he is touching BEFORE going invisible, will also become invisible. It will become visible if he lets go. If Virgil is invisible already and grabs something, that item will still be visible, but now being manipulated by an invisible force (kinda like a ghost....O.0)

Downside: His ability only lasts as long as he can hold his breath. This prevents him from speaking while invisible and makes it difficult to do anything active while invisible. If he over exerts himself, Virgil may end up fainting, making him suddenly appear and drop to the ground.... ungracefully.

Logan - Regeneration / Healing

Logan never dies. He has yet to find what part of him tells the other parts to form the same body as always... No matter the injury or event, Logan will always reform in a matter of minutes. No scars, no scratch, just Logan writing down his experience in a notebook... Logan can take another’s injury in a weird ‘healing’ way as long as he makes physical touch.

Downsides: Clothing and glasses don’t reform. Due to this ability, Logan is quite oblivious to dangerous things and is often found in very concerning situations that could lead to death. When taking another’s injury, he must stay in contact with the injured person until his body heals the wound on himself. If he over exerts himself, (receives multiple injuries within a short period of time) it takes Logan longer to heal. After he is well rested and fed, his healing is almost instant.

[GORE/ INJURY WARNING ]Example: Logan gets hit by a car, ribs heal, glasses stay broken. Logan get’s sawed in half. Refuse spine, organs heals up. Shirt is torn in half and glasses stay broken.

Here’s a little short about how Patton and Roman stumbled upon Virgil:

There was a click of the train cabins door.

"Roman! Be careful! I-I heard this part is..." An audible gulp escaped Patton. "Haunted." Patton clung to his taller and broader friend, Roman. He scanned the train car, but all the seats were empty.

"Oh posh. They only said that so they could keep this car empty! Look at all the free seats!" Roman waved an arm at all the seats. He released himself from Patton's grip and twirled around one of the poles in the middle for added effect.

The white, polished plastic seats that lined down the sides of the train were, in fact, unoccupied. The standing bars and straps stood with no competition in sight. Roman strode down the middle of the train and inspected multiple seats (as if there was an difference to see) and promptly laid across the bench with a wide grin.

"Come on, Patton! We have three more stops until ours! Join me." The flambouyant man stretched across the seats. Patton shook in the doorway swaying with the motion of the train. His friend laughing at the other end sprawled across the seats did help set the atomsphere to a happier tone, but something bothered Patton. Just something.

Patton took a small step forward. Shivers went up his spine. He stopped once more in front of the train car's door as it slid closed behind him.

"R-roman, please," Patton tried to give a small giggle, "Don't use your abilities when I'm s-scared." Roman raised an eyebrow and sat up from his lounging postition.

"You assume I am?" Roman watched Patton shuffle where he stood.

"There's something there..." Patton pointed at the seat across from Roman, closest to the unloading door on the side.

Both watched the seat silently.

A purple silhoutte flickered in the seat.

"AAAHHHHHH I KNEW IT!" Patton screamed, beginning to cry in realization. "IT'S HAUNTED! WW-WW-HHY-YY ROMAN!" Patton's breaths hitched and he grabbed the nearest pole with comically large tears in his eyes.

Roman rose from his seat trying to stifle his laughs.

"I'm-I'm sorry, Patton. I had to." Roman held his stomach as he kneeled down to accompany Patton on the floor.

"Y-You're a real meanie Roman." Patton pouted, trying to regain his composture.

"I didn't mean to scare you that badly." Roman admitted, but still had a smile on his face.

"You promised. No illusions when I'm scared." Patton wiped his cheeks with his jacket's sleeve and slowly stood back up with Roman.

"Oh come now. We made that promise for during the night,” Patton gave a glare over his glasses, “but I can see that you still didn't take well to my antics, so I shall never do illusions-no matter the conditions- if you are scared." Roman's wide smile shifted into an apologetic smirk. The two men softly chuckled at the events.

Three dings over the intercom interuptted them: [This stop is ###. The next stop is +++. Please mind the gap between the train and the station platform] The train's announcment went off and the train lurched as the brakes were applied.

Roman and Patton clung to the pole they were at and waited for the train to come to a complete stop. The doors slid open. Patton watched the door next to the seat Roman had caused the apparition to appear. He cursed as his own imagination getting the better of him when he thought he saw another purple flicker.

No. That was actually there.

THUD

Suddenly a young man appeared and immediately fell to the floor. Patton jumped with a small squeak of surprise.

||| In his surprise, Patton's ability activated. Time froze around him. Roman was in mid-turn to see the man that suddenly appeared. The man was more around their age... about 24 years old. Under a thick black hoodie, the dark-clad figure was thin. He was attempting to get up off the cold steel ground, pushing up with his hands as if his legs gave out beneath him. In fact, as Patton inched closer, it looked exactly like that. The young man looked bewildered, wide eyes pointing down at the ground. He looked just as terrified as Patton was entering the supposed haunted train car. The blur of purple was from the dark grape colored locks that hung in front of the man's dark eyes.

Patton left Roman behind him and approached the man properly. He knelt down to look closer at the man. This definitely wasn't a ghost and judging by the angle of his fall, he was already inside the car. Invisibility. Patton's eyes lit up with curiosity. He's heard stories of all the great people who used their invisibility to save the day. It wasn’t a common ability, but it was widely sought out for.

Patton gave a soft smile to the still man. It took everything in him to stop himself from patting the man's soft-looking hair. He was already in panic from being discovered, Patton didn't want him to worry about why his hair was suddenly scuffed up, maybe he won't notice how his loose boot laces were now neatly tied. The poor kiddo probably tripped on those very laces and exposed himself...

Patton returned to Roman and tried to mimick what his last reaction was. Patton's stomach growled. |||

"What the-" Roman made his way over to the young man assuming he tripped on his way into the train. "Are you okay?" Roman went to help the newcomer up, but as soon as he got close enough the man looked up with wide eyes and labored breaths. He sucked more air into his lungs and vanished. Small shuffling noises and soft thuds of boots echoed off the train.

"That's so cool." Patton huffed out in awe. Roman stood confusingly out of the train door at the empty station until the doors slid shut.

"What was that?" Roman barely whispered before being forced to grab onto a hanging strap in order not to fall.

____

Hope you like it! Sorry for any mistakes... its really late and I’m tired. lol

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praphit · 6 years

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BP: When I think of his blackness and what he's done for me

Black Panther, baby!

I’ve been waiting for this movie for a long time! I remember the day I first saw the trailer for this movie, I was like Denzel with the one tear drop

- frickin beautiful. I’ve been saying that “Black Panther” is for black people what “Wonder Woman” was for women in 2017. I can remember back when WW first came out last year, I was at the coffee shop down the street, feeding my addiction. There was a girl behind the counter – I asked her for my usual.

She replied “What so I’m just supposed to know what that is?” Praphit: “Well, I come here often, so…” Irritated Girl: “Wha, wha, what that mean? You just assume I’ve paid attention to you? Matter of fact, you just assuuuumed I’d get you some coffee this morning.” Praphit: “But, don’t you work here?” Empowered Girl who is starting to scare the Praphit: “What because I’m a woman I must be a servant huh?? Just another woman getting some man whatever he wants… that’s all I am to you?” Praphit: “… huh” Girl who must have believed she was Wonder Woman herself: “ Did you just call me a bitch?!” Praphit: “What? No!” An angry, scary version a WW: “But I bet you thought it!”

Then, she gave me the finger, mooned me(that's right, MOONED me! - who even does that anymore??)… and then walked out. Then, came The Harvey Weinstein Storm, men scared everywhere by #MeToo, and Louis CK hiding out… possibly wherever Kevin Spacey has been hiding out. I never did see her again... I also never got my coffee.

I hope she's ok and found another job. I know Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman) is her hero, but... it's not like she's gonna feed all of the inspired jobless ladies out there. Anyway, as strange as that encounter was, I get it! Empowerment will do that to a person; it feels righteous! Now, Black Panther, baby! Black people… we’re going to have a hashtag too. Maybe #bleepwhitey… that may be a lil strong, but something! It’s coming! This movie is a big deal! - so big of a deal that white executives in Hollywood were planted in critic circles in pre-screenings to stir up bad reviews.

The white people running Hollywood were like “We’ve gotta knock this movie down a few pegs before we have another ‘storm’ on our hands! Women are already rising up…. Black people rose up recently with #OscarsSoWhite, we can’t have it happen again. What’s next??! Who's gonna rise up next??! Asians?! Latinos?! Little People?! We can’t have this?!” There’s already a belief out there that you can’t have a worldwide blockbuster with the main character being black. So, how is this movie REALLY?? That’s why your Praphit is here for you:) “Black Panther” starts out right after “Civil War” (currently my fav comic book movie:) What I appreciate about Marvel movies is how well they are written; not just individually, but how they all come together. Of course (spoiler alert from “Civil War”) the king of Wakanda is dead, and now his son T’Challa (Black Panther) is heir to take over! Black Panther as we know is played by Chadwick Boseman. I love him as Black Panther!

Some may say he’s not aggressive enough to be king/BP, but I think someone who’s always calm, even when they’re angry is scarier than someone who wears their emotions on their sleeves. One second, you think everything is cool, and the next you’re on your back, hurting, with Chadwick Boseman smiling at you. Wakanda is beautiful! I like what Marvel did here. Marvel is really good at creating worlds that look and feel real. I'm willing to bet that some believe Wakanda is real... probably our president.

I'm telling you,there's a speech coming up when Trump will say something like

" We've got to make America great in tech again. I had Mike Pence go to the movie theatre to watch this documentary called "Black Panther", I had him leave quickly in protest (there were too many black and brown people there - I only bring it up because many of them were illegals..), but we had others stay and report back to me. Wakanda, this terrorist country... possibly where Barack Obama is really from; we don't know... we don't know... but, they turned their shithole of a country into an empire with this amazing metal called "Vibranium" (Idk if you've ever heard of it, because it's AMAZING). I'm telling you, we're going to get ahold of even more Vibranium than those savages and use it to make America #1 in tech again." - you tell me I couldn't write for the prez:) Many have described Wakanda as Zamunda (another fictional nation in Africa from “Coming to America”) in the future. I think those people have it right.

If Eddie Murphy took Zamunda 100 years into the future, and stole all of Apple’s tech (imagine how scary Apple will be in 100 years), and then came back to the present… and used this tech to create… idk… a super tech “Eddie Land”, it’d be Wakanda. They are also the leading source of Vibranium (strongest medal around this comic book universe). The plot is layered, but they make it work. I was surprised that a product of Disney would go into such deep waters. Race is of course dealt with – not only in the movie, but simply by this movie’s existence. I can remember when I was younger, the only comic book characters to dress up as or play make believe as were Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and The X-Men. But, no black characters. I mean… I could have dressed up like Storm for Halloween, but…

or it might have looked more like this -

- maybe rock a... mankini silver top, and some dark purple eye shadow and lip stick... so there was that I guess. Picture me as a little boy dressed up like that - I'd make it work. Let’s move on:) I also love how these characters are portrayed – there are lots of different cultures of black people, but all the differences in appearance and worldviews are highlighted as positives in this movie. It truly is (on a comic book movie scale of course) a celebration of black people from different walks of life. There are no dummies or potheads or gangsters – but black people are all represented as strong, smart, and capable in this movie; even the villains! Michael B Jordan!

I probably liked him more than Black Panther. His character is smart, calculated, complex and easy to sympathize with, even though he’s the main villain. As far as portraying strong women – I think “Black Panther” does it even better than “Wonder Woman” did. Again, showing the strength of different types of women. Danai Gurira (whom I’m in love with by the way… just sayin’… if somehow you’re reading this… you can find me in Bmore:)

She has a scene in the beginning of the movie that displays courage, strength, command, and yet also warmth and beauty. It's hard to keep a strong willed woman character balanced in a story without it going in a wrong direction, or without her becoming "one note" (idk if y'all know what I mean), but the writing and Gurira's performance are perfect with this; as well as the other female characters - I'd love to see a movie with them as the stars. They also tackle colonialism, mainly through Martin Freeman.

This motha bleeper right here stole Samuel L Jackson’s part. Where the hell is Sam L?!

How you gonna have the blackest movie of the year without Sam L?!

Anyway, Martin Freeman does a good job, but I couldn’t watch him without getting mad. Whitey! - you just couldn’t let us have one movie to ourselves could you??! This movie even tackles politics, generational black community issues, African traditions, and culture wars in the black community (again through the filter of a comic book movie, but still). A lot of this movie is about what type of king T’Challa wants to be, what type of king his people want/need, and how (or if) a nation should use its strengths to help one other nations. Marvelous (no pun intended) how they blended all of these things together. Can I talk about the sexiness??! -cuz whew! My future wife

(I also love how her character (Okoye) is so confident and committed to what she believes. She should be running Wakanda to tell you the truth)

My other future wife

(Lupita Nyong'o here as Nakia has her arm wrapped up with T'Challa here... and I don't like the way she's gazing into his eyes, but I believe I've still got a shot. That dress made me fall out my chair.)

And many more – tons of sexiness in this movie, but not in an exploitive manner. It’s not just the looks, but the character, the ideals, the strength, the honor that adds to everyone’s sexiness.

And it’s the men too! Even I’ve got to admit that Michael B Jordan looks damned good.

Though I couldn't find a good picture of him... you need context for what's going on with his torso (besides being jacked)... his hair messed up, and he looks like he has marbles in his mouth right now. Let me try again (not that he doesn't make that work).

There he is - with a lil nip slip action.

He's one of those men where when he walks in and steals your girlfriend or wife, you say to yourself "I understand." Shiiii, you get some drinks in you, and YOU might be leaving with him. Ladies, forget “Fifty Shades of Bullshit”, you’ve got all of the sexiness you need in this movie right here. So, you say “John Praphit, is there anything bad about this movie?” NO! Quit looking to downgrade black movies you racists! :) Nothing “bad”, but I did have a few issues. This IS a comic book movie after all, and despite the commendation I’d give this movie for veering off the typical Marvel scripted formula, I would have liked a lil more action. The action was good, but not great. Also, I would have loved more of Michael B Jordan. His character is so good! Mikey B does an excellent job making us feel - whether it’s sympathy, hatred, or disgust in his way of thinking; he makes it happen. I would have loved to see more of his interaction with the people of Wakanda. The ending felt rushed. Not only with characters jumping from loving one another to wanting to kill one another (and vice versa), but also in CG. It’s like they didn’t have enough in the budget to crank up the last fight scene… that money probably went to Martin Freeman

.. you rat bastard. I'm sorry. He was good, but still #wherethehellisSamL? Besides, all of that I loved this movie! Very entertaining! It was funny. It has a lot of good talking points in it. And it’s a big deal for black people! Grade: B+++ First time ever for a “B+++”!!! Originally, a B+, but an extra plus for blackness – seriously, I think it’s a game changer for not only comic book movies, but all types of movies… another stepping stone of progress. I truly believe it’ll have a positive creative impact on our youth as well. And the last plus is for sexiness, cuz.. da

Dammit! Not you Martin Freeman! So help me! *deep sigh* Now I forgot what I was going to say. Anyway, good stuff! On second thought... I'm going to give this movie two grades. The B+++, but also... when I think of his blackness (The king!) - the positive progressive impact that I believe this movie has and will have are too great not to give it an A My Semi Objective Technical Grade: B+++ Blackness Grade: A The only thing that could have made it better on that scale would be if I were in it.

Makes me wanna follow in the footsteps of that now probably homeless barista. Quit my job and march onto righteousness!

Can’t wait for “BP2!

#black panther #wakanda #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #Danai Gurira #lupita nyong'o #chadwick boseman #Praphit #movies #Movie Reviews #marvel #barista #womens rights #civilrights #black people #martin freeman

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lordofsunshadowandsailor · 7 years

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replies

because many and long and thorough:

danjaley replied to your photo “A single glance sufficed for Alvar to see he would have a hard time...”

I like this thought. And it links Alvar and Tobio on yet another level.

In future updates we shall learn how their relationship developed after that first sexual encounter, but I thought I’d already leave this hinting at their paths, that is really so different between themselves.

danjaley replied to your photoset “There lay a peculiar emptiness to the closet, though. Tobio’s clothes...”

Oh dear, this really is a large bottle of wine! ;)

And it’s a particularly beautiful one, right, @aroundthesims

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “The outbreak of war had interrupted the normal and predictable career...”

I like this so much. Fire always makes beautiful effects. And the background! I'm looking forward to see more of your WW I recreations.

It is so atmospheric, I agree. One can feel the ambient just because of the image of the fire pit. It must be our ancestral collective memories.

As for the WWI, this is when the steampunk accent creeps in... There is virtually nothing specific to recreate the war, so it will be more on the side of fantasy and imagination than recreation...

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photoset “There lay a peculiar emptiness to the closet, though. Tobio’s clothes...”

What a luxurious bedroom.

Oh, Alvar think it is so middling class, so constraining in its humbleness... But it did take a lot work to build this set!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “Alvar had then ventured into yet another room of his friend’s house...”

Alvar still looks kinda hot...

Poor Alvar. He would never think of himself as hot -- did people use that term back then? --, and not in his lame post-war persona anyways... But I agree with you, he still looks fit and his partial nudity in contrast with the formal attire is kinda hot!

hyperkaos replied to your photo “The outbreak of war had interrupted the normal and predictable career...”

I keep coming back to see if you've added more to this, it intrigues me as to how it ties into everything else

And it took only a few days... Sorry to keep you waiting. I hope it makes more sense now.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Tobio?” Alvar inquired, in a voice that suddenly sounded not just...”

Oh hi!!! I remember you from 'beneath the stairs!' lolol x

And what stairs are we talking about? Because Alvar has been carrying Apollo Jim since the margins of the river, up those incredible stone stairs where Death tried to dissuade and distract him :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Tobio!” He exhaled the name more than called it, and finally seemed...”

I love the blend also @tyrellsimsoficeandfire

I simply cannot imagine my game without the Greek outfits made @venusprincess-simblr, even if I am not playing the Greco-roman world any longer, so I always make up reasons to use them... :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Where do I place him, Tobio?” It could have been said that he...”

What are the scars on his face from? Crazy experiments? Acid attack? He wants to be a super-villain?

Poor Tobio. He is super nothing, except perhaps super lonely, super devastated, super sad.

I don’t think I have described the ambush that cost his eye, have I? Then I should!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “With a sharp sting across his chest, Alvar deposed Apollo Jim on the...”

I love the description of Alv's perception of death by the window. Beautiful!

Thank you! I’m glad you like it!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Tobio could tell why, but he wanted to listen it from Alvar. Lost Boys...”

Weeds on the soil of wealth. Wow. Your writing is masterful!

Writing is like bathing in a river that springs from yourself. You just pick the right words as they float by you.

But when I am not in the process of actually writing words down, I wonder... Did I really write that?

Thank you always for your support!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “They hadn’t seen each other in nearly a decade. Freddie’s occasional...”

I always like the atmosphere your shots hsbe6. One can really feel the warmth and intimacy! Also, do I spot danjaley's fireside poses?

I don’t think I remember her poses, but I probably should... These poses are actually from two guys cuddling next to a car, on the floor of a parking lot... Not the least like this scene, actually! But when I saw it I knew it was just right for Alvar and his cousin Freddie.

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “Probably feeling guilty in his irresponsible repose, in dreams – where...”

I'm curious if there's some reason why they are associated with greece?

It’s the ideal time, in the understanding and idealization of the Victorian era, for their love otherwise condemned and forbidden, called then the Greek Love... I have explained it in this post, and declarations-of-drama has a comment below that adds to this, too, if you want to read my answer to it.

danjaley replied to your photo “I understand it, Alvie.” Alvar’s name in Frederic’s mouth was little...”

I was going to say they have these characteristic WW1 faces, but I've come to realize it must be the style rather than the faces, when I compare them with the Greek versions. That's interesting, as I always wonder where those types disappear to when they go out of fashion - or how we'd all look if the year was 1917...

Thank you for mentioning this! It’s very interesting isn’t it?

I did make a post with my inspirations to create the characters for LoSSS. I f look closely to their faces, they are timeless male beauties, considering Western and Classical Greek standards... And they do resemble contemporary male models or actors of our days. It’s their hairstyles and clothes and the photography of course that makes them dated, like you say.

Just like sometimes I meet Italian people who do look like a Roman marble statue come to life...

hyperkaos replied to your photo “Dreaming was all they had had for a while to keep their love thriving...”

So young, so willing to give up everything for hopes and dreams, for love, Alvar's innocence hurts

Yes, that is Alvar, at his purest in the company of the man of his life!

fancifults3cc reblogged your photo and added:

Oh no! A crime of passion!

Oh, I would say this is a crime against passion, Alvar and Freddie’s passion!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “You already have, Lord Phallihurst.” Tobio affirmed, after having...”

So, something mixed with the Absinthe?

This is what we know or are led to believe so far. Maybe Tobio will find out more.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Tobio could tell why, but he wanted to listen it from Alvar. Lost Boys...”

I also had to come back to this chapter to read your description again of the brothels. I've done a bit of reading about these places before now and am sort of a bit fascinated by the whole logistics of how those places conducted business and the lives of the workers etc etc. You paint a very graphic image of it.

I admit to not having researched extensively on this subject, other than reading about brothels and a little about sexuality and pornography in Victorian times -- though this is supposedly Edwardian times (or the end of it) in the story, and then WWI and the changes it brought... I’m happy you did not find any inconsistencies, but please do let me know if you spot any!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “The boy stood clearly not for a sailor, though the hat could have been...”

But why would he be wearing a false tattoo? Roleplay? To be seen as a sailor boy I guess?

The tattoo matches the strange outfit, though not so strange for a rent boy who is supposed to fulfill his clients’ fantasies...

The plots holds several small mysteries, and this is one of them...

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “I don’t think I understand it, Alvar Andrew. You don’t intend to...”

Why is there so much concern for this boy? I'm a bit lost here.

I hope this has been answered in this post, though it is left ambiguous and rather open as Alvar does not utter a word, leaving Tobio to conclude...

I shall have to be more explicit in the future about the link between Alvar and the boy.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “You are taking him to your ancestral lands? To live under the same...”

Good question! And Tobio has probably seen too many to be as bothered about him tbh

Exactly, that’s what he says, too! And the next post to this holds the revelation...

declarations-of-drama reblogged your photo and added:

Art against art…

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Not proud. Not the least, not Alvar. Not for any past weaknesses,...”

This is amazingly beautiful! The contrast really catches my eye and it's almost hard to distinguish the Sim from the painting! Well done!!! x

Thank you so much for the reblog, and your kind words, dear!

I did play a lot with this scene. I tried several choices of paintings, and different poses for Alvar, and changed the colors on the wallpaper until it matched and still contrasted with Alvar’s skin.

I’m hardly ever satisfied with lighting in Sims 3, and that the part I try to correct in PS.

I’m so glad you liked the final result, and the one shot I chose to upload from the dozen I made :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “But still, quite accomplished. As if again turned into thorn flesh,...”

Alvar should also have phantom pains, and boils would come and go to accompany the intrusion of a false support. Also he would probably call it his stump and not his amputated leg (which is by now probably lost, burned or used in medical science).

I did not reflect about this, thinking an amputated leg was both what remained and what was removed... But you are right saying that sometimes the specific word is stump... I’ll have to rewrite this, and pay more attention from now on!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “His temples throbbed, too, as if his heart, oscillating between...”

Why do I get the feeling that Alv wants to be one of Tob's patients himself? Was it Tobio who took his leg?

Alvar is one of Tobio’s patients! But no, Tobio did not operate Alvar’s leg -- though that is maybe a good idea...

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “There lay a peculiar emptiness to the closet, though. Tobio’s clothes...”

Oh! That explains a lot!

I often hesitate about making longer posts, but sometimes it’s just what it’s needed to get the whole perspective, right?

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Alvar walked slowly towards the armchair next to the rack of clothes,...”

Disliking women totally, as in sexually? I often wonder about things like this, such as the levels of bi-sexuality in us and how people must have coped when they were married etc in those days

I will develop this theme in the story, both from Alvar’s and Tobio’s perspectives!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “From the beginning of his life – love life, sentimental life, intimate...”

I watched Troy the other night and then spent around 4 hours reading up on Greek Antiquity. It was fascinating! I'm guessing this is what Alvar with his cousin is resonating of a pedarasty relationship? Like was a required part of Greek Noble youth? It was all so fascinating to learn!

Greece was not an united nation back then, so this was mostly and Athenian thing. Pederasty, as I mentioned in this post , was not just acceptable but often a desirable thing as a rite of passage. It usually involved a wider age gap than this existing in the story, with Alvar submitting to Freddie or Tobio, that are not actually old enough to be the erastes. But I’m no expert in such matters and am writing a story, not a treaty. So you are right to mention Troy, a good movie despite all the Hollywoodian peccadilloes and hypocrisy, and the love between Achilles and Patroclus, which was not the same as in pederasty, since they were practically the same age, and not Athenians.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “The outbreak of war had interrupted the normal and predictable career...”

A story within a story. This should be interesting! I wonder where Freddy is now? Time for Dinner! These chapters made me HUNGRY!!! lol

This is usually how I write. Stories within stories, and plenty of flashbacks, and flashbacks withing flashbacks... Like in a mosaic, or a kaleidoscope.

Freddie is dead, like it’s been said before.

And I hope you had a good dinner!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “Not proud. Not the least, not Alvar. Not for any past weaknesses,...”

I had the same though when seeing. @andantezen always does amazing artworks.

Thank you dear, it’s always a much needed encouragement to know that!

lifeasasim replied to your photoset “There lay a peculiar emptiness to the closet, though. Tobio’s clothes...”

Look at that room ;_;

Haha, the detail is intended to say things about the characters, that’s why I have troubled myself and gone this far...

lifeasasim replied to your photo “Probably feeling guilty in his irresponsible repose, in dreams – where...”

Gosh, this is so beautiful!

Thank you dear!

#danjaley #tyrellsimsoficeandfire #hyperkaos #declarations-of-drama #murfeelee #lifeasasim

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mythicalmythos · 7 years

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Princess stories I wish I’d had as a child.

(So this wound up being about twice as long as planned but it feels good to finally get it all out there)

Okay so, this has kind of been bouncing around in my head since I saw Wonder Woman over the summer.

I grew up watching Disney movies and I am a huge Disney nerd to this day but the older I get the more I come to realize that as much as I love the Disney princess movies, I can’t really support some of their messages, intentional or not, as a woman in her 20s out of college, as I could in the past, even in high school.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the movies are a product of their time, and for a long time in our society the main path a girl’s life took was grow up, meet a boy, get married, have lots of babies. There was a huge amount of focus on maintaining the white picket fence life in America. Though we as women have made huge strides since the first Disney movie was produced, I feel like entertainment media takes a while to catch up to the changes society makes, especially media who’s target audience is made up of mostly kids.

In spite of all of this I think that Walt Disney himself was in favor of gender equality, even if it might not have been in the same manor and degree that we have today. He and his company made their mark on the world by making movies about female protagonists. Yes, you can argue that the women portrayed in the movies aren’t great role models and I agree with you. However, even in “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” the main conflict is between two women. (Messed up and vain though that conflict may be.) Then in 1946, Disney produced a short film called “The Story of Menstruation. That’s right. Disney made a short film that gives accurate health information about periods in FUCKING 1946. While it is not perfect (come on it’s post-War, women are still expected to marry and have babies), it explains periods in accurate and scientific language and most importantly, emphasizes that periods are a normal and healthy (if annoying) part of every uterus-possessing human’s life. In 1946! I didn’t even realize that this existed until I was in college and I didn’t believe the friend who told me about it until they pulled it up and made me watch it. Why wasn’t this used or even mentioned in sex ed growing up? Though it is old and doesn’t really explain sex past mentioning that it is necessary for pregnancy to occur, it still is just a good jumping off point as anything I was shown/told as a pre-teen. Come on, this is a great resource to show a child who is asking the early questions about puberty (which happens way earlier than any parent is ready for. I myself was a very curious child and asked a lot of embarrassing questions WAY before my parents thought they would have to answer any of them.)

Okay, that was more than I thought I had to say on that but anyways, back to the Princess movies themselves. The one that I have the biggest problem with is “The Little Mermaid.” I know “Sleeping Beauty” is pretty bad too with the whole ‘unconscious therefor unable to give consent thing’ but honestly that for whatever reason doesn’t get to me like Ariel’s story does.

Before I totally start ragging on this movie let me just say I really loved this movie for a long time. I’m very musical and the music is amazing. I grew up singing them and “Poor Unfortunate Souls” is in my top 10 villain songs. (Also Ursula is based on a famous drag queen named Divine, which is awesome.) I love all of the songs in this movie, even the forgettable one at the beginning. But once you string them together with the rest of the story, I just can’t get behind the final product anymore. A few years ago, my mom showed me a video that Mayim Bialik posted on her YouTube channel where she talks about how she reacted to the movie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-9pm8Zy7SY). At first I thought ‘okay she has a point but it’s still a classic story’ then I started to think about it off and on in the back of my mind, along with reading and looking into the original story by H. C. Anderson (which, not exactly a kids story, be prepared for a lot of questions and blood). And I slowly came to realize that I can’t support showing this movie to my own kids someday without first having a serious talk about self-respect. No one should be told that they have to change a fundamental part of who they are or their body to find “love”. REAL “True Love” is accepting and unconditional, fish tail and all.

So where exactly does Wonder Woman come into all of this? Well back when I saw it in June, I was a bit hesitant because I’ve always kind of written WW off because of her outfit. Not my finest choice I’ll admit, but, nerd though I am, I never have been big into comic books or the Justice League cartoons (though Teen Titans with Raven and Starfire was one of my favorites. It hasn’t been until more recently that I have really come to appreciate the superhero genre.) But when I heard that WW was getting her own big screen story, I was intrigued. I didn’t know much going in, though I had high hopes. I’m a bit embarrassed to say I went partially because of Chris Pine because I tend to enjoy the projects he picks. But when I saw the movie, I was blown away. Not that the movie doesn’t have its weak spots for me (Ares took quite a bit of convincing). But as I came out of the theater I finally understood why my brothers love superhero movies. Seeing a woman (or in this case, a lot of women) on screen kicking butt, making their own stories, and being general badasses gave me this surge of confidence that I could do anything I set my mind to. This is a movie I didn’t know I was missing until I saw it. The more I read about how Patty Jenkins went about creating the world of Themyscira, like hiring a range of women of color, female body builders, weightlifters and wrestlers, it didn’t even occur to me that muscles on women are often considered ugly by our society. These women had bodies that reflected the work that they put in everyday and the power and strength that they possess. They are beautiful and send a beautiful message to young girls that they can be anything damn social standards of gender roles and beauty.

So I saw WW months ago and had talked to my friends about it but my thoughts and the powerful message stayed mostly in my head until now. Why? Well, I was several videos deep in a YouTube binge about a week and a half ago when I came across one from ScreenRant called “10 Rejected Princesses that Actually Exist” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3PUQtHXbiE). Now seeing as I am a total sucker for a title like that, naturally I open the video. Expecting stories from different mythos and legends from around the world (like the original Little Mermaid) I was very surprised to learn that this list was mostly made up of real women from different cultures around the world. Yes, there are a few legends and myths thrown in but mostly these women actually existed.

So turns out that this video is in fact based on a book written by a guy named Jason Porath, an ex-Dreamworks animator, who, following a bet at work, decided that these women needed to have their stories told. Some time and a book deal later “Rejected Princesses” was born. A collection of 100 stories about badass women who changed their worlds. (http://www.rejectedprincesses.com/)

I’m only about half way through but the more of the book I read the more I wish someone had given me this book as a kid. Mind you, not all of these stories are 100% appropriate (some of the ones at the end of the book are 5 on a 1-5 scale for maturity.) for every little kid but the fact that this book exists and tells real stories without shying away from the real situations that these women lived through is an amazing thing. There are women of color, lesbian and bi- women and probably many more as I haven’t finished the book yet. Haha (Trying to read three books at once is not my smartest life decision.)

The older I get, the more I see things in my childhood that reinforced the more traditional male/female gender roles on me. My parents never told me I couldn’t do something just because I was a girl and they have always encouraged me to learn and do well in school, especially they encouraged my interest in science. But as things like WW and “Rejected Princesses” come to my attention I realize that just because I didn’t realize their influence was missing doesn’t mean I didn’t feel it. I remember having few role models in media and always being told to let the boys do the physical stuff instead of me.

It is not enough to simply tell girls and women they can do anything and be anything they want. We have to give them examples and role models to show that they come from a long line of capable, independent, smart, strong, badass women and the keys to the kingdom are theirs to take and explode into the world with.

#wonder woman #badass women #rejected princesses #disney

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lifewithboys · 7 years

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It’s Been A Long Time...So, Why Not a WONDER WOMAN Review?!

Whoa, that’s a long title-maybe my longest ever. Ok, anyways. Roy took me to see this last night, and before I give my take I want to get two things out of the way.

1) On FB a young man stated that Gal Gadot won’t be a good Wonder Woman because she is thin. Let me assure you-Gadot is beautiful, stunning really-but she’s also strong, and she captures that idea of power almost effortlessly.

2) Chris Pine’s Steve Trevor is a truly welcome addition to this movie. Without giving too much away, Director Patty Jenkins and whomever else makes this decision did a great job picking a man that could stay true to societal norms of the time, and yet he seems to embrace Diana as his equal, all the while wanting to protect her. See the movie, you’ll get it.

Now, if you didn’t already get it, let me be clear-I LOVED THIS MOVIE! This is easily one of the best, if not the best superhero movie, I’ve ever seen. Only Guardians of the Galaxy 1 is better in my opinion, and as I told Dean last night, I think it ties WW as my favorite. I’ve been a fan of Gadot’s since she appeared as Gisele in the Fast and Furious movies. So, when she was announced as WW I was thrilled. She has the look and conveys the strength and power well. In WW, she is an ingenue if you will-she’s sheltered and unfamiliar with men and ‘our world.’ Yet, she’s powerful, and battle ready-Gadot pulls it off.

And let’s not leave out the rest of the case. Before I get to the men, let me say that Robin Wright Penn and Connie Nielsen as Antiope (The Amazon’s greatest warrior) and Hippolyta (the Queen) respectively were magnificent. Regal, powerful and fierce. Jenkins created a beautiful Themyscira-the home of the Amazons. Filled with lush images of green mountains and blue water-I sat in the theater and wondered just what I had to do to get there.....it was that well done.

Chris Pine is not my favorite-I admit it, he has come off cocky in the movies I’ve seen him in, and yet I loved him in this. Men of this timeframe were taught that women were ‘less than.’ Not quite as smart, not quite as strong or capable-we did see some of that (sticking true to the period the film is set), but we also saw a character capable of growth. He recognized Diana’s skills in battle, and fought by her side never once questioning her skill, but he also saw someone unfamiliar with his world, someone that didn’t yet understand sometimes finesse is needed, or stealth or a quiet hand-and Pine gave us that. There was no cockiness here, just a man that needed to do the right thing. Along the way Steve and Diana pick up three more to add to their ragtag group-Said Taghmaoui as Sameer. A chameleon that easily adapts to any situation. Ewen Bremner as Charlie. A sniper fighting his own demons. And Eugene Brave Rock as The Chief. A man with no stack in the game. I’m a sucker for situations where our characters must push through when all is lost-and there is one scene near the end where these three men show our Princess humanity’s worth. I seriously started crying at that point.

The War to End all Wars is being fought, and the Germans are close to a breakthrough. Diana has been told Ares is the God of War, and she believes he is pulling the strings, so she decided to go to London with Steve and protect mankind. I don’t want to give much away, as the movie is that good. But I will saw the scenes of battle are so well done here. One issue I often have is when the fighting starts there is often so much going on, that my eyes can’t adjust quick enough and I’m left feeling like I miss things-not there. The camera work and direction was set up that you get the feeling of chaos, but it’s easy to keep up.

Our team is heroic, and they quickly learn that nothing is going to be accomplished unless the depend on one another. The men see what Diana can do, and they stand at her side without question. One scene in particular showed just how much Steve believed in her, when he quickly surmised how best to destroy the enemy-and Diana needed to be front and center.

Patty Jenkins did something I don’t know if other directors have done when tackling the DCEU-she stayed true to the story, without creating a dated feel. Yes, liberties were taken, but it never felt as if TOO many were being taken. The story was simple-we don’t need four red herrings before we get to the bad guy and 12 subplots. And she seemed to trust her actors. She let them all shine-I liked Sameer’s interactions with Diana-the actor came off as earnest and kind in a situation that I don’t think many other actors could have pulled off as effectively. There were a few little Easter Eggs in the movie, but not enough to distract you, and she told the story. And to make a good movie, it really is as simple as that.

If you haven’t seen this movie-GO! RUN! and see it. I laughed, I cried and I cheered-I did all the things I should do in a movie like this. This is a movie, I’d happily take my kids to see. And most of all-I’m left wanting more.

#wonder woman #gal gadot #Chris Pine #Patty Jenkins #DC #dceu #family

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lia-snow · 7 years

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My 10 Fave Babes of All Time

Tagged by @faecakes. Thanks! (I loved your selection btw~).

I think I did this one a while ago but I took the chance to make this my first drawings of the year :pp to start warming up again ww. These are in no particular order.

1. Horokeu Usui (HoroHoro) / Shaman King.

Horo was probably my first masive 2D crush. I obsessed over him like a psycho lol. I learned every single little thing about him (and I mean trivial stuff like... the exact numbre of frame, page and volume for his first appearance xd), the meaning of his name, the name of his techniques (which were in Ainu). Oh, and also, SEIYUUS! Horo started my obsession with making seiyuu connections x) (I was never really fan of Ueda Yuuji, tho). And I really admired Horo... I felt he was like my soulmate, my perfect husbando. So, based on priority right, he should be like my #1 bae :')

2. Hinata Hideki / Angel Beats! & Kuga Aki / Kamisama Dolls.

I'm putting them together because they're both special characters to me for the same reason: I knew Kimura Ryouhei because of them, and I loved him from the very beginning. Coincidentally, I started watching Angel Beats and Kamisama Dolls at the same time, and the contrast between these two characters, voiced by the same seiyuu, made me fall in love completely. They're both so different. Hinata is a bright, loyal, energetic boy while Aki is this manipulative, rude, meticulous, violent guy (though he's also super calm and indifferent about certain things). Hinata had me loving his voice changes whenever he was put into ridiculous and funny situations while Aki got me melting becasue of his manic laugh. I love Hinata & Aki both as characters, not just because of Kimura, but they're the perfect examples of why KimuRyou is my fav seiyuu <3 <3

3. Kise Ryouta / Kuroko no Basket.

Oh boy..... my love for this man burns like a thousand suns bursting, ISTG. He's too pure too good to pretty too shiny too precious for this world. Ok, I admit... Kimura Ryouhei is partly at fault here lol. Kise actually reminded me a lot of Hinata and I liked him from the start too, but soon I started loving every single little thing about him. He's introduced a little as an arrogant dude but soon enough comes to change after his loss against Seirin (I loved it when he cried sddsffg). He's like the cheerful, carefree member of the group, but he also shows so much determination, strength, and even selfishness. But I really think he's the most admirable of the Generation of Miracles. And he's so pretty I wanna cry everytime I see him, sob.

4. Judal / Magi.

Yes, the Kimura Ryouhei syndrome continues... but I swear it's coincidence(?). Judal caught my eye since I saw him in the opening (that sequence when he's falling, grabs a white rukh and turns it black it's mesmerizing), but when he was finally introduced in the show, I WAS DOOMED FOREVER. Goddamn, I loved his personality. Even if he's a little bit of a psycho, I loved his childish arrogant attitude. He's like my twisted son ♥ Except... not really a son, because... he makes me feel things 6//6 (???). Aahaahgsdjhk yes yes ok, I love his design, really, L O V E I T ♥ ♥. His long braid, those beautiful ringed eyes, the makeup on them, the necklace and bracelets, that crop top, those abs, DAT WAISTLINE aksjdhjkashdkjhgasgasd ⁄(⁄ ⁄ ⁄ Д ⁄ ⁄ ⁄)⁄ He needs his own manga, there's just never enough Judal in my life.

5. Nozaki Umetarou / Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun.

I've said this before, but it me. Nozaki is me, I am Nozaki (except I'm not tall and handsome lol). Looks cold, mostly serious, suuupr dense in some subjects (specially about love and romance), zero experience in love... but somehow still makes love stories! His shoujo manga is terrible haha but he's surprisingly popular as mangaka in spite of that x) I bet if I were to draw a manga it would be as ridiculous as his (or if my comics serve as an example... well, there ww). He has this stoic aspect, but he makes the most idiotic faces when he gets excited too~ I think Nozaki is more socially skilled than me but we're both awkward anymway(?) xD. He's my spirit animal ♥

6. Netherlands & Finland / Hetalia.

Ah, my time in the Hetalia fandom... feels so distant :') Italy was my fav at first but then I started roleplaying Fin (the first chara I ever roleplayed) and my love for him kept growing from there. He was just too adorbs <3 I got to know a lot of super nice people, both on the internet and irl, because of him. Also, back then I listened to lot of metal music, and I always pictured Fin as a secret metalhead xD And then Netherlands... I don't remember exactly how I started liking him, I remember they released the chara design, stuff happened, and then there I was cosplaying the dude. Hahaha ah, even though I loved Fin, I couldn't identify with him cause he's super cute, happy and lovable; but Netherlands was more like me~ Stoic, cold, tsundere. Over time, Netherlands became my favorite over Fin, but they're both special.

7. Furukawa Nagisa / CLANNAD.

My precious child. The purest girl ever created. A National treasure, istg. She's not the type of female characters that I usually like, but somehow she got me from the start. She's too adorable, sweet, innocent and good. She's just too good!!!!!!! She's always caring for others, always supportive of her friends, and tries her best even though she's phisically weak and lacks confidence. She's so strong and admirable, she makes my heart melt. CLANNAD made me cry rivers and hit me hard when... well, when After Story happened. She's the type of character that I want to protect from all evil. I also LOVED Nakahara Mai's performance as Nagisa, btw. I kept watching her scenes over and over just to listen to the cutest voice akjshd <3 I really love this child ;//;

8. Licht Jekylland Todoroki & Lawless / Servamp.

Well, as you would expect x) It's probably obvious that I love them both so hard. And I want to clear up for the records that it's not just because I love them together, or the homo hints flying all over the place between them. I love them both as separated characters. I really admire Licht. His resolution, his unbreakable spirit, his attitude, the hard worker he is, his strength, his pure innocence about the things he loves, his vision, his badassness, his frankness, his creativity... He's a gem, the type of person I could never be :') ALSO, HE'S HOT AF. Lawless is so beautiful. He deserves the universe. I feel him more in a spirital way. How he lost faith in everything, how meaningless lives seemed to him, the vicious cycle he was in. But the fact he's able to change that (with Licht's help) is truly touching and praiseworthy. He made a deep impression in me. Ah, and of course, his flamboyant personality! He's such a dork ahah xD I love his nerdy side, his energy, even his bragging. And the fact that he can literally go from hotdamn vampire to cute hedgy in no time is amazing xD ♥ Also, his voice.... yeah, you know this by this point, but the fact he's voiced by Kimura Ryouhei makes him even more perfect than he already was (everytime I listen to the Drama CDs, I literally have to go back and listen to his lines again because kjahsdjkg perfection in my ears). So yeah, I love my boys ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

9. Morgiana / Magi.

Ah, Morgiana ♥ ♥ The ultimate example of the type of female character that I like. She's strong, kind, determined, tough, has a strong sense of justce, needs no one to do shit for her, BUT she's not arrogant, aggresive or extravagant herself. She's quite, starightforward and helpful. But she's also soooo adorable and cute!! The way she puffs up her cheeks when she's mad, her smile, the little tears on her eyes when he was encouraged by Hakuryuu, her happy face, the way she dances around wearing that exotic outfit... man she is gorgeous, she's amazing, she's a goddess. And dem kicks, THE KIIICCCKKKS, god she's a BADASS. She seriously became like a prototype of my perfect gurl. No kidding, after her, everytime there's a badass fem chara that I like, I call her "a Morgiana". And I know she's probs being "controlled" by Sinbad in the manga right now, but I cried when she said she has come to love herself because of all the time she's been with Alibaba. I'M SO PROUD OF HER <//333

10. Special mention to: EVERY KIMURA RYOUHEI CHARACTER.

Agh, I just.... it's amazing how without a miss, characters voiced by Kimura always become my favourite. I always love them, for one reason or another. I mean, I have other seiyuus I love too (Kaji Yuki, Nakamura Yuuichi, Ishikawa Kaito, Sugita Tomokazu, Kamiyan....), but I don't always like their characters. But with Kimura, I ALWAYS do. I don't know all of his roles, obviously, but here's some that I absolutely love:

- Special mention 2: Jorah Mormont, Eddard Stark, Jon Snow. Because I love GoT, and these are my favs, but I can't draw real people ww.

I’m tagging @pastenaga, @stars-glow-for-you, @adeslowmoqueen, @rhomilch & @reimeijennoir~ Feel free to do it if you want uvu/ Don’t worry guys, you don’t have to draw the charas to do this www Actually, you don’t have to write anything about them either lol my hand slipped(?)

#Personal note #meme #long post #sorry about that #didn't feel like putting everything under the Read More tag #tl;dr #horohoro #hinata hideki #kuga aki #etc....(?)

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opalmothnightingale · 6 years

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Weird Webs Withhold

2- 5- 18 -

Weird webs withhold.

WW... WWW...

World war, world wide web... Webs... Spiders... And the feeling webs make, so troublesome... Psychic or energy, astral webs, etc...

Can seem to suddenly materialize into vivid intensity, like psychic entanglement, like cording, heavy and clingy and disturbing,... Intrusive...

Obsessed feelings... Or feeling overly worried about someone...

Or sensing their thoughts, feelings, etc... Far too much, more than is comfortable, perhaps heavily burdening one’s life...

Even if you like the person it can become much far too close, too close for comfort, too much lack of privacy, too in their heads, hearts, souls, emotions, issues... A confusing tangled web that turns into something much more heavy, constrictive, like wading through mire instead of light webs, annoying but trivial enough to deal with... How does it happen, and how is it that it can be lopsided, so that one person can feel it like a leaden weight while another person seems to be oblivious of the fact that their feelings, their thoughts are somehow tying up and binding others? I don’t know but it seems to me this happens sometimes. It’s not necessarily a conscious thing at all, even if a person is very developed psychically and all that... It might be that they feel light and free, harmless and innocent, just living their lives but they feel they have some connection to another, psychically... And it’s just that, just a connection, like an acquaintance, a friend, someone you care about or matter or they matter to you, in your circle of endless connections, the web of life, and degrees of separation and it’s nothing much, just a whatever, usually not even thought of... Just someone you know, a little bit...

And then to the other person it’s like intense, huge, complicated, heavy, either in a good or a bad way or both or changing between good and bad... Or confusing, just too much, too at a loss, what is this, what does it mean, what to do with it, how to interpret it... And it’s like, come on, I’m not your close friend, not your lover, not your family nor your therapist or doctor... Get rid of yourself, get away from my energy field... I don’t deserve this, don’t care, don’t even notice or think of you so what the heck? Why is it happening? When you also seem to be pretty much fine, light, breezy, not that concerned or caring or wrapped up in me, as a person, as another human being, as a friend or acquaintance, or even wishful lover of best friend, those what ifs,... Where you like someone but you don’t know if there could or might or will ever be anything much deeper, so it’s all this realm of observing from a distance, ... Still, not attached, really because you can’t be attached when it’s at that level,... Because no, you DON’T know each other... Not that much... Not enough to even really talk much so the thought that there’s some deep, attached bond is really such a huge joke... Even if there could be hope of a bond developing, maybe someday, in wonderland, in fantasy world, imaginations, subconscious, daydreams,... Because we all do need that... at least... if nothing else... We at least need the chance to have role models, who we can imagine as someone who might be someone who we could relate to... If we don’t have anyone else in the real world and real life, we at least need role models, so we can imagine and believe it might be possible to be close to someone... Or else we’ll crumple and decay and close down and withdraw because... We’re social animals... Even if we can make do with imaginary social life or even self-referencing and imagination and spirit and animals, plants, signs, symbols, gods, the voice of the world... As surrogate social substitutes... But... All that takes time to develop as a bond, as an easily accessible surrogate... and so,... Sometimes you need someone real to make you feel hope, to feel the role model sense that triggers imaginations and ideals and hopes and faith and courage and effort to try, to improve yourself, learn about yourself, to try to build for a possible future you can believe in as worth the effort, the emotional investment, and the psychic energy...

So you don’t feel flat and dry as a bone but have real emotional stimuli even if it is part illusion... But it seems to me that such surrogate or role model roles can create these big psychic bonds maybe? Where it’s affecting people more than it seems like it would, a one sided, lop sided web or cord or whatever you call the thing... And I have had it go both ways... Or sometimes, somebody seemed to be affecting me a lot, but I don’t know if they were attached to me as a surrogate something or other or whatever,...

But there have been times when I was somewhat attached to the role model persona I saw in another and they seemed heavily burdened, felt too close, too much information, psychically, they were receiving... from me, when I didn't’ intend for it to be that way for them at all... And so sometimes they got mad... Sometimes they also thought they “read things” or “sensed things” from me, and accused me thereof, when actually they were way off base and I didn’t think or feel any such thing as they thought they sensed from me...

Anyways, I think that I’m just writing all this because I realized that it’s not at all just the hm... Sexual or emotional love or affection that I fear might be uninvitedly affecting people... But also this whole kind of psychic web stuff that might feel light, innocent, protected.... Intervened between me and all else with spirit, to keep it pure and for the higher good of all... And it might be very healing and bring me so much insight and learning but somehow... I fear, what if it’s heavy, annoying, burdensome,, ominous, too close... for the other person and I had no idea... What if all my attempts and intentions and rituals to protect and keep it pure, good, light... What if it’s not working?

But again I go back to last post’s conclusion, and the one before it too... If it’s bothering them, can’t they tell me? Can they tell me? Do they even know who I am or might it actually be a mystery thing that is intrusive but vague and mysterious and an unknown being or energy? Which I hate absolutely the thought of that...

Yet based on past experience, no one except one person admitted to ever being bothered by my energy,... So what am I to do when other times I tried to ask people it only had the effect of destroying what was sacred, elaborate, intense, complex and healing of the highest order and direst need for me... What am I to do about all this when I only want to do what is right and the synchs are sometimes too much for me and confusing that make me fear I’m affecting people negatively,... But then I try to ask them and they’re all like, what are you smoking or else, they’re like, running away from me, creeped out by such a bizarre sounding situation and thinking I might stalk them or something...

When again, I’m not attached to the actual person,... Only the spirit bond... I need nothing from the person, but only want the soul I’m connecting with... And so it’s like, it seems like... I maybe ought to leave a good thing alone because it’s good for me so far...

And other times when I took the “leave a good thing alone” route, they ended up insulting and implying things but that eventually died down and felt far less painful oftentimes than the more direct communication route... And for all I know it’s all synchs so that they were not trying to imply or insult things about me and it was only subconscious or spirit making them do that when they had no idea consciously what was happening or how they were giving me these strange and bizarre signs... Because when I talk to people that is how most people seem to portray it...

Either that or else, also rather likely, they’re denying it because it’s too weird and they don’t wanna go there so they act like nothing’s going on with them even though it is... Maybe they don’t like the real me and want to stay away and not feed this strange connection... Heck, I don’t know.

But I just wish it all made more sense, seemed more clear and clean and cut and dry, easily healable closure and the pain, the cuts easy to heal, if there must be cuts, pain, misunderstandings or being misaligned to each other and affecting each other in awkward ways... Then why can’t we just leave it at that and let go without dragging each other through insult, drama, accusation, character attack, guilt trips, rejection,... Just say “we are not on the same wavelength”...

We don’t relate. It’s just life and some people don’t relate. We’re not all social butterflies, relating to everyone... I relate to so few people that it would be very strange for me to actually relate, so no one ought to get offended by my not relating or avoiding them... I try to not get offended either, by others avoiding me, just as long as basic respect and acknowledgment as a human is there...

Which often seems to not be there, from others towards me... Oh well... I try to let go and move on as long as they don’t hurl insults and put downs and condescending advice, etc,... Which can be very painful and long lingering in its trauma on my so neglected, isolated soul... So abused and rejected for decades by nearly everyone... Fed up and I can’t take anymore of it hardly... Ugh..

That is part of why I avoid people... too... I see the likelihood of being rejected and so I steer clear... It’s only self protection and self love. It’s all I can do to avoid a useless and humiliating interaction that adds nothing to my overall well being, understanding or knowledge of life. Just the same old, people can be jerks thing... Shown in many different examples and expressions of that fact, not needed.... No more fuel to the hate life, hate people or hate the world, let’s hide forever, let’s give up and hide from the world feelings... No, just go away. Before I can find more people to want to avoid, I want to avoid them so I don’t have to know I want to avoid them...

Lol Sigh. Ugh. Whatever... yeah.

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janiklandre-blog · 7 years

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Friday, March 3, 2017

10:25 a.m. chilly morning - in Washington it seems the cherry trees are about to bloom - a frost could destroy it all

Still also a comment to my thoughts about documentation yesterday - in the 1920's there was I believe a Norwegian and also polar explorer (google) Fridjof Nansen who created a "Nansen passport" - there wer countless white Russians who had fled Russia and also others displaced by all the turmoil after WW 1 who were stateless and needed some document and I believe the Nansen passport did gain some limited validity - certainly a most welcome document by to many undocumented. A g;obal passport for everyone, that is what we need - not I with my American passport in Europe that I only need to flash - to watch on a train to Switzerland people with darker skins profiled, their passports requested - studied at length and I having to watch to watch their anxiety - and now - more and more anxiety and fear. I they even have a passport - the Iraqui friend of my friend had to throw his overboard when the boat taking him to Greece was about to sink - how many must be passport less - who even knows what sort of representation Iraq has in Finland - and from what I hear the Iraqui government is very hostile to those who fled the country. How does such a person obtain a travel document?

And also back again to my disrupted life - C,B. who used to come quite regularly in the evenings - has bowed out. I had been realizing and resenting that I was Marianne from 7 to 0 in the evenings in her rather rigid scheme - never asked to join her during the day - only asked to come and eat her soup - and asking myself why I depended so much on these evening visits when I listened at length to details about her large family, the many Iraquis in her life - and like myself also she is a people collector and more and more people are cropping up in her life - while she had little interest in people in my life. Then she brought movies "to relax" - that is also what I do with my mother, she said - I watched them while they had little interest for me - altogether I tried to please her because my evenings are lonely. She never would commit - if I asked her at noon she always would say - I cannot say how my day will go - she would not call and if I tried her by 7:30 I would find out she had gone to Brooklyn where she has a long time friend - about whom I have written here. She is very invoilved with charismatic Catholicism - very alien to me - visits lots of people in hospitals - I try to stay away from hospitals as much as I can - and should I ever end up in a hospital - I would find out how much visits by strangers would mean to me. Obviously since I am very delinquent on visiting the sick - I may not get many visits.

My mother when I was growing up always said: the only person in the world you can trust is me - and have found out - other mothers do that too. Early I realized this would make for a very limited world. She spoke a lot about how after 1933 when persecution began people began to withdraw into their blood families and became unavailable to her - specially the friend for whom I was named - in whose apartment in Prague I later was with my mother - in the early 1940's, first on the day when her friend had paid the Germans a large sum of money to release her husband from Dachau - her friend had tickets for a boat leaving from Genua for South America for her husband, herself and Annette her only child who had been billed my sister - her husband Paul never came - only later his ashes - she refused to leave without him. Soon after that my mother and I went to her apartment when she had to report for what was called "the transport" - first to Theresienstadt and later to Auschwitz where she and the child perished. My mother had considered hiding the child - alas that was impossible. Some Catholic nuns did in their monastaries - but we did not know any.

My mother's mother who came from extreme poverty had decided to have only one child - this child was to become "somebody" - my mother got a Ph.D. at 23 - still I have doubts about my grandmother's decision - a couple of siblings might have done more for my mother than a Ph.D. My grandmother it seems had one half brother who became a Catholic priest (mentioned in my mother's memoirs. My grandfather, her husband, came from a large Jewish family - a couple of cousins left after 1945, two in America, one in Israel - she never had had much relationship to them. My mother was a socialist and they all detested socialists. My mother had planned on five children but after 1933 was forbidden to have children, so I remained an only child - luckily had two sons - but they live in Western Massachusetts and my divorce from their father - or rather his divorce from me, he flew off to Mexico, I saw nmo need for a divorce - in any event - he too is among a good number of people whom, after I came to America - I did not assess well.

All my very best friends are in Europe - I took great pains to stay in touch with them - in my experience in my early years I seem to hav e been naturally attracted to people more congenial then the people later in America. Of course, these friendships at a great distance never experienced the wear and tear of daily friendship.

But my mother also was not a good judge of people - I have misgivings about some friendships she formed while living in Germany - from 1946 util 1969 - then she moved back to Vienna where she had lived as a student and later as a teacher - from 1923 to 1931, interrupted by a year in Paris - from 1931 to 1937 she lived in Germany, from 1937 to 1946 in Prague, where I grew up. Whereever she was she did make friends - only chnildren have to. When she moved back to Vienna in 1969 to a lovely apartment in the center of town - her street, Prinz Eugenstrasse bordering on the Belvedaire - she came back to friends from the 1920's who were good friends - but they had stayed in Vienna - her two best friends were not Jewish, they had families in Vienna and my mother kept insisting I MUST move to Vienna and take care of her - heer suicide in 1982 was an act of revenge on me. Deeply disturbing not only my life but also the lives of my sons.

In any event - my choice of male partners in my life while not exactly disastrous - there were good times with all of them - still, none of them was protective of me and none truly committed - with the exception of my boyfriend whom I met at 15 and gave up at 21 when I met Robert G. whom my mother adored - and misjudged.

My close women friends over the years - as I see it - chose me as a friend, rather than I chosing them. Hannelore, long dead, Doris, Christine F. - and also C.B. They recognized my usefulness to them at the time they chose me - all except for Hannelore ten to 15 years younger than I. at the time when they picked me looking up to me, over the years becoming in many ways a lot more successful than I am - very attractrive to other people seeking their friendship - their need for me deminuishing - and leaving me lonely as I grow old anbd older. Not that easy to deal with.

But one thing I had still meant to write about - in the NYT I just read - on page C5 The Right Woman Can Start a Revolution - a play: Bull in a China Shop - a play inspired by Mary Woolley - president of Mount Holyoke College in the first third of the last centurey - the college I came to in 1951 - and certainly heard that name - but very little about her - and not about her woman partner Jeannette Marks - whose name came to my attention only a couple of hours ago.

I think I wrote yesterday, or the day before, how much better I think I would have done remaining in 1951 with my sweet boyfriend in New York, attending with him Brooklyn College that was free then and a lot more interesting in those years that Mount Holyoke - where the only thing celebrated was a big fat diamond engagement ring to an ivy league graduate - that ring was flashed about, no mention of the very few admitted to medical school, or law school - the trophy was a large June wedding after graduation, followed rapidly b y children - andI suspect a good number of my class mates became alcoholics - of course they disappeared from the picture - a large number of my 1953 fellow grads have died - but my class collected more money than any other class and somebody always threw in a cou[le of hundred dollars in my name to claim a 100 % participation

Robert never bestowed any jewelry on me - not that I ever had any interest and every last little bit of gold I owned fell victim to the breakins while living in tenements - stil - between 1956 until 1964 I was living the model life of a model Mount Holyoke grad - and only after Robert divorced me in 1967 fell totally out of the role and have been struggling ever since since - labelled a destructive loser by Robert and also by others, a great disappointment to my social climber mother - and today - I let you find labels for me.

Still before I end I do want to pay tribute to two wonderful German friends I made in America - both suffering from cystic kidneys, one died, the other is thankfully alive due to a transplant and I cannot thank her enough for her friendship and great generosity. My gereat regret - she moved away from New York and I only see her very sporadically when she invited me to her wonderful house. She does live with family and she is extremely busy.

It is close to 11 a.m. - in the next days I may not find so much time to write - well perhaps still on Saturday and Sunday - but Monday early a.m. I have to see the eye doctor who is to do my cataracts in my right eye on April 3rd - tedious preps - then on Tuesday early morning I hope to head for Amherst - take a 5:49 a.m. out of Grand Central. Metro North to New Haven where I hope to find a bus to Northampton - and not sure about my time up North - and then much ado with doctors - the physical therapy in a crowded ill smelling place - I do suspect my walking is the best therapy - I should also see a dermatologisdt, my long year doctor retired - then the dental problems are up in the air - at some point I will have to deal with dentures - for now with these thesethat keep falling out and the dsentist sauggested I try to glue them back in myself - then the gynecologist I saw earlier would like to see me again - in the last analysis many try to make a buck - it seems medicare does pay most or all for the physical theerapy that C.B. so highly recommeds - I'm afraid for the eyes there will be a lot of co-pay, there always was for the dermatologist, the gynecologist demanded to be paid in advasnce and at some point I may get what medicare pays - and then there is stil the podiatrist, who asks doer $20 each visit - it's a mess and all bargaining and the best doctors no longer take medicare and ask for a yarly payment of $30.000 or more - then you will have a boutique doctor who will have some time for you, will come to your house when necessary - and increasingly - the poor are turned away from hospitals - the ambulances told to go somewhere else and with some luck they die on the wayh. When they finally get to some hospital willing to look at them - after hours of wait - lying in corridors - later staying in corridors because there is no room for them - I still remember the humorous way in which my sweet friend Ken described it "here I was in this lovely corridors surrounded by languasges from around the world" - this reminds me of Victor Frankel whom Molly and I googled who descibed finding even brief moments of delight in Auschwitz. By preference I would like to find ways to end my life with dignity before lying for days in a corridor surrounded by languages from around the world - yet Ken, who clearly had had a death wish, then with the help of Margaret still clung for two years to a painful existence, came to the park almost hours before he died and still made big plans for the future. Life is - what life is. Marianne And C.B. - having been hurt by you in those last several weeks - I do forgive you - and I'm glad you are convinced you are a saint.

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