snip of a shapeshifter!jaskier fic i'll never finish
The hope in Geralt’s eyes broke Jaskier’s shattered heart just a little bit more. Jaskier shut the door softly behind him and tried a weak smile.
“I came to say goodbye,” he said.
Geralt turned his face away, shoulders hunching in on themselves ever so slightly. Jaskier savoured the bittersweet burst of pride at being able to read the Witcher so easily. That skill would be nothing more than a distant memory come morning.
Jaskier took a step into the room. He wondered if Geralt would be angry, if he’d yell and glower. He wondered if Geralt would say anything at all.
“It pains me to leave you, old friend,” Jaskier started off with an understatement, “We had so many wonderful adventures.”
Geralt exhaled out of his nose, almost a huff but not quite. Upset, then. Jaskier sighed.
“Don’t be like that, Geralt. Why taint our last moments together?”
“Last moments,” Geralt said, spitting the words out like they were poisonous.
“Yes,” Jaskier said firmly.
“Why,” Geralt grunted. Rolling his eyes, Jaskier resisted the urge to say something sarcastic.
“I can’t carry this heart around anymore. It’s too fragile. War is coming.”
“We can protect you,” Geralt argued.
“I can’t protect you, though. Not like this. I can’t help the elves like this. Jaskier’s luck has run out, and it’s time for me to find someone else’s.”
“You can help us protect Ciri.”
“I can protect her better if I have no idea who or where she is,” said Jaskier, unusually blunt. He tensed. Jaskier was slipping away, already. He was ready to change.
Geralt’s fingers flexed a little, like he wanted to reach for Jaskier but stopped himself. Jaskier couldn’t help feeling a little bitter. Even faced with the end, of all they were, Geralt couldn’t give him simple affection. It was always tainted with hesitance.
“Jaskier,” said Geralt helplessly, finally turning to face him again.
“This is my choice.”
“I said I was sorry.”
“I believe you. I forgive you.”
“Jaskier,” Geralt growled. He sounded so wretched that Jaskier couldn’t help himself. He sat down next to Geralt, placing his scarred hand on his friend’s knee.
“Don’t let the guilt consume you, Geralt. I am at peace with leaving Jaskier behind.”
“I’m not,” Geralt said. Jaskier ran his thumb gently across Geralt’s kneecap, hating his desire to be close.
“I’m not angry about what you said anymore. But it was a wake up call, one I needed. I’ve spent too long in this body, and I’ve gotten complacent. I need to protect myself.”
Geralt was silent for a long moment. Slowly, like he might spook him, he covered Jaskier’s hand with his own.
“From me?” he asked, voice quieter than Jaskier had ever heard it. Jaskier turned his hand over and slotted their fingers together. There was no use answering that question. It wouldn’t help either of them.
Geralt closed his fingers around Jaskier’s hand softly, like it was delicate.
“Thank you for our years together, Geralt,” said Jaskier. He smiled through the ache, and squeezed the Witcher’s hand once before letting go.
“I will miss you,” Geralt said, staring down at his own empty hand. Jaskier felt the words settle at the heart of his pain. He tried to keep his mouth from twisting, to keep the tears from falling.
“Don’t miss me too much.” The tease came out brittle and too earnest.
“Jaskier,” Geralt was pleading, but Jaskier didn’t know what he wanted. Perhaps he had never known what Geralt truly wanted. So he stood to go. Only - Geralt grabbed his wrist. Jaskier sighed, resigned at sullying their farewell moment.
“I’ve made my decision—”
“I know,” said Geralt, “Do it here.”
Time seemed to stop moving around them. Jaskier let his arm go limp in Geralt’s grasp, and the Witcher loosened his hold. Gold eyes met blue. Years of unspoken thoughts and meaningful looks built up passed between them as the air stilled.
“What?” Jaskier whispered, lost. Geralt made a frustrated growl deep in his chest.
“I want to see you. Until the end."
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hello kate, my favorite mermay writer! may i request mer jaskier who has (nonsexually) sensitive fins and likes to have them pet, by eskel maybe? thank you!! (it's peter btw)
Thanks for the prompt, Peter! I hope this is what you had in mind. Written as part of the @thepassifloradiscord MerMay event.
Gen. Warnings: none. 1,300 words.
Eskel & Jaskier (background Geraskier)
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Eskel side-eyes the bard, trying to figure out what might be wrong with him. They’ve been traveling together a couple of weeks now, because Geralt had insisted someone accompany him on the way to a bardic festival in Cidaris, but Geralt himself was called away on a favor he owed to Triss. He left explicit instructions on how to handle Jaskier while he was away, but Eskel isn’t sure if this is a too little food, too much silence, or too much walking situation.
Fuck it. He isn’t good at subterfuge, anyway.
“You seem off,” he says, his words causing Jaskier to stumble over his own feet. He reaches out and stops him from falling over, and to his surprise Jaskier sighs and leans into his hold. This is definitely not something Geralt covered.
“Sorry Eskel,” Jaskier says, straightening up and taking a step back. “Got lost in my head. Won’t happen again. Shall we?” he asks, gesturing at the road in front of them. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, though, and Eskel won’t have Geralt thinking he neglected his bard.
“Seriously,” he says softly, doing his best to make his face look gentle. It’s not hard, because he isn’t just doing this for shits and giggles. He cares about Jaskier. They all do at this point. All the wolves have adopted him as one of their one, ever since that first winter Geralt brought him home to stay. “What is bothering you?”
“It’s stupid.”
“Not what I asked,” Eskel presses, and Jaskier lifts his head to meet his gaze.
“You’re all so fucking stubborn,” he says, chuckling lightly. “Fine. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Geralt and I’m…missing the comfort of his touch. Nothing sexual, mind you, just used to being held and touched a lot more than I have been.”
“Is this a bard thing?” Eskel asks, brow wrinkling as he tries to connect the dots. Images of puppy piles of bards float through his mind, but Jaskier just snorts and shakes his head.
“It’s a mer thing. We’re a very cuddly people,” he answers with a small smile. It’s not much, but he looks better than he did a minute ago, and Eskel can work with that.
“There was a lake not far back, maybe half an hour. We can backtrack and take a break there. You can shift and stretch out, and I’ll do whatever you need me to,” he says, and Jaskier lights up at his words.
“I don’t want to be a bother,” he offers, but Eskel waves him off.
“Taking care of my brothers is never a bother,” he admits, grinning wide when Jaskier picks up on his choice of words. Because yes, Jaskier is first and foremost Geralt’s bard, but he’s a part of their little pack now, too.
The walk to the lake is uneventful, but as soon as they get there Jaskier tosses down his pack and starts stripping, nearly tripping over himself to get into the lake. Eskel snorts, choking down laughter as he watches him run bare-assed into the chilly water. It reminds him of when he was younger, before life on the path, when they were all just rowdy boys playing games.
He is slower to undress, but it’s mostly because he always gets so distracted by Jaskier when he shifts. It’s nothing like the cruel looking transformation of a werewolf - which is something he’d never like to witness again, thank you very much - but one moment Jaskier has legs and then the next they’re replaced with a swirl of water and a bunch of flashy fins.
Eskel had never met a merman before Jaskier, but he’d fought plenty of sirens. He half expected Jaskier to look feral when he changed, but his upper half hardly differed at all. No wings or claws, not even fangs popped out. Besides the gills on the sides of his neck, he still looked human from the waist up. His fins were extraordinary, though. He had one long tail, but there were smaller fan-type fins coming off of it, and when he swam they billowed around him. His scales were deep blue and burgundy, and he looked positively otherworldly.
Jaskier says he looks most like a beta fish, but Eskel has never seen one in the wild. Apparently they’re a fighting fish and very territorial, which suits Jaskier well. Eskel has witnessed him take on an entire bar in a brawl while defending his lover. Of course, he and Geralt had to finish up the job, but Jaskier was feisty enough to start it. They’d been run out of town that night and spent the evening telling stories and sharing stolen wine while the campfire blazed. It was great for bonding, if not the reputation of witchers.
“Are you coming?” Jaskier asks, swimming closer to the shore and breaking Eskel’s train of thought.
“Excuse me if I feel a bit weird stripping down for my brother’s lover,” Eskel says with a laugh. Jaskier ducks under the water and comes up, spitting a face-full of water at him before giggling gleefully.
“It’s no different than letting me wash your hair in the hot springs!” he points out. “Besides, I’m naked, too! Just because my prick isn’t out, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist,” he adds with another giggle.
“We can have an autonomy lesson later. Let’s just get you settled,” Eskel tells him before wading into the water. Jaskier tackles him as soon as he’s deep enough, pulling him into a tight hug and slamming him down onto the sandy bottom of the lake. It’s not deep enough for him to go under, so he ends up sitting in the sand with a very fidgety merman in his lap.
“Just…pet me if you don’t mind?” Jaskier asks softly, and Eskel doesn’t even think to question it. There’s nothing sexual about this, and Jaskier clearly feels afraid to ask for it, even though he needs it.
“Can’t have Geralt accusing me of taking poor care of you, can I?” Eskel asks with a shrug. Jaskier smiles warmly and curls up into his chest, closing his eyes while Eskel tries to figure out how to pet a fully grown man…merman. Whatever.
He ends up treating Jaskier like he would Scorpion, just slowly running a palm down his tail. Jaskier sighs contentedly and doesn’t complain, so Eskel keeps going. It’s actually pretty calming, just sitting in the lake and petting him. The bright scales feel smooth under his hands, and it’s nice to be offering comfort instead of pain with them. Most of his work is tied up with fighting and hurting others, and this is so much the opposite that he can see why Geralt might love it, too.
He doesn’t know how long they sit there, just curled up together while he strokes Jaskier’s tail, but it’s the most relaxed he’s been in ages. Eventually Jaskier lifts his head and offers him a sleepy smile. He squeezes Eskel in one last hug before sliding out of his lap and beaming at him.
“Thank you. I feel so much better now,” he admits, and Eskel grins back at him.
“Good, because I’ve got sand in my ass crack, so it better have been for something,” Eskel quips, and Jaskier laughs so hard he falls back into the water. With a flick of his fins, he sends a wave of water at Eskel, catching him off guard.
And then it’s on.
Jaskier skirts off into the deeper water, but Eskel isn’t far behind. They chase each other across the lake, splashing and wrestling as they go. Eskel is careful not to use his full strength, but the roughhousing has him in a better mood than he has been in days. They spend the rest of the afternoon playing around, and as they set up camp for the night, Eskel thinks Jaskier might just see them as family, too.
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