It's officially Christmas 🎄!! Merry Creepmas to everyone 👻✨️
I still can't believe how it's Christmas 2023, in my mind I'm still trying to process the year 2022 was for me. Only 2023 wound up being an even more intense year.
Today, let's spend time being positive, optimistic and sending out positive ✨️ vibes as the new year quickly approaches.
I hope whatever your traditions are for the holidays, that to some extent you were able to reach your Creepmas goals!
I didn't reach most of what I set out to achieve this holiday season. Poor health lead to the inability to accomplish my spooky goals. But there's always next Christmss. I will get a head start next year 😉.
I will spend the day with my parents 💕 later on my brother and sister in-law. I hope everything goes smoothly for all of us.
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"Dude! Look at this giant pinecone! Let's put it on the tree!"
*Elficide occurs*
The cones of the Coulter pine are also known as "widow makers." Because they kill people when they fall on them. Not only are they big and heavy, these fuckers are sharp. Stanford University describes them as "covered with long, wicked, incurving claws." They are 10 to 16 inches long and weigh up to ten pounds. I did find a few articles confirming people being badly maimed by these things, though no confirmed kills. Remind me to tell you about the exploding pine cones someday.
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I used to think I just had SAD. It's pretty common in New England because cold and dark. That's what all the family said anyway. "We all have SAD and we just have to power through." Aye, aye, Captain. I can do that.
But I realized this year that this is More. Think less SAD and dealing with childhood trauma. Thanksgiving triggers it because the depression starts around mid-November when it gets so much closer to Turkey Day. I realized this is a trauma response to too many Thanksgiving dinners surrounded by narcissistic family members. I was never good enough. I will always be the Eldest daughter of the Youngest daughter who was the focal point for extensive narcisitically motivated maternal abuse.
And then Christmas.
Well, let me tell you that Christmas has always made me Feel Bad. Like. I like giving presents and seeing the joy from other people. I like that part. But the decorating? Deep dive into depression ville. Nose dive. Eject; eject; eject. This would explain my continually paring down Christmas decorating to the barest minimum. Maybe a tree and the stockings. Nothing else but even that's a lot.
So, Creepmas experiment is a go this year. Goth ornaments and Halloween tree ornaments with a touch of the need. No family ornaments going forward. The tree is going to go up today so we'll see if the Creepmas vibe helps.
Work doesn't help. It's been hellacious. One of the supervisors left for a better job and no one but me seemed to realize how bad this would get without them. Everyone else realized quickly how bad this was. Coupled with a problem employee using the leaving of their supervisor to not do their job and yeah. It's been kind of shit.
I've been sick for over a month now. It's been fun but not really. Coupled with the depression, I haven't actually been able to finish the Osiris Mysteries fully. Plant was planted but icon never made it into his glass coffin. Heavy debate on even bothering. And Advent? Well the plan would have worked well if the fucking votive holders didn't break en route. Now I don't want to bother.
My Hagging Out was going to be devoted to the end of the Osiris Mysteries but something else has come across my calendar for this upcoming week and if I have the energy or capacity, I'm going to focus there instead. But uh. It's a long shot that I'll be capable at all.