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extreme-investor-network · 2 years

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What the Heck is Happening to Silver?!

The dollar rose this week, from 17.87mg gold to 18.24mg (that’s “gold fell from $1,740 to $1,705” in DollarSpeak), a gain of 2.1%. In silver terms, it rose from 1.61g to 1.67g (in DollarSpeak, “silver dropped from $19.24 to $18.64), or 3.7%. As always, we want to look past the market price action. Two explanations are hot today. Let’s look at them first, before moving on to our unique analysis of the basis. JP Morgan and Motte and Bailey JP Morgan’s manipulation of gold and silver prices is the focus of discussion in the gold community again, as another criminal trial is now underway, this time the accused is the former head of precious metals trading at the bank (we have discussed the manipulation conspiracy theory here and here). Central to this trial—and the previous one—is spoofing. Bloomberg describes spoofing as placing “orders that are quickly canceled before they can be executed -- to push precious metals up or down”. Unfortunately, many commentators in the gold community use this at the Motte in a Motte and Bailey Fallacy. A Motte and what?! It’s named after a medieval fortification. The Motte is strongly defensibly, but not a pleasant place to spend a lot of time. The Bailey is a better place, but not so defensible. The Fallacy is like a bait-and-switch. The arguer starts with an uncontroversial statement. In this case, that JP Morgan traders were caught entering orders they intended to cancel. And since one can’t really dispute this, the arguer moves on to the important proposition. The Bailey is not defensible, but by the tactic of having just sold the Motte, the arguer hopes the Bailey will not need to be defended. The Bailey is that the prices of gold and silver would be far higher, but for manipulation. Of course, spoofing has no long-term effect on prices. If it works at all (the whistleblower did not make much money as a trader for JP Morgan), it is because it momentarily distorts the price signal, and the trader can trick other market participants into paying too much or charging too little. N.B. JP Morgan did spoofing in both directions. You can’t get there, from here. You can’t convict the Godfather of murder by proving his grandson stole candy from the store. And you can’t argue gold would have been $50,000 decades ago, by proving JP Morgan traders entered orders they intended to cancel. Silver Price Suppression? The other hot topic du jour is the Commitment of Traders Report. The conspiracy view holds that banks sell futures to suppress the price. According to this view, the greater the number of futures contracts outstanding, the more the price is suppressed. So, in this view, it’s notable that the number of open silver contracts is now near a multiyear low. In the conspiracy theorists’ minds, this means that silver is ready to launch to much higher prices. This is almost right, but for the wrong reason. In reality, open interest responds to the basis. A high and rising basis offers a profit to carry metal. To carry, a bank borrows dollars to buy metal and simultaneously sells a contract. The basis is the profit they can earn in this trade. Basis is (basically) future price – spot price (quoted as an annualized percentage rate). The interest rate factors into this trade. So, in a changing interest rate environment, one can’t just look at the basis. One needs to consider interest as well. Fortunately, we have an indicator which does. The lease rate. Lease rate is (basically) LIBOR – basis. Here’s our graph of the silver lease rate. As we have written in the past, we ignore the period after the economy was slammed with Covid lockdown. Disruption to air travel meant that arbitragers could not reliably move metal between markets such as New York and London, and hence did not want to take the risk of putting on positions such as carry. And the result was that spreads such as the basis blew out (also the bid-ask spread in gold). However, notice the rising trend from around mid-April this year. A rising lease rate is an indicator of rising scarcity. It costs significantly more to lease silver now than in the last several years. Indeed, it costs more now than at any time since the global financial crisis. The lease rate, LIBOR – GOFO, is based on arbitrage in the commercial bullion markets, it has nothing to do with the rate Monetary Metals charges bullion dealers, jewelers, mints, recyclers, and refiners. Understanding Gold and Silver Movements So what does all this mean? Most readers want to know what is likely to happen to the price of gold and silver next. We will address this question. But first, let us indulge in a little more chart porn. Here is the gold continuous basis chart. Since mid-March, we have had a rising price of the dollar (in DollarSpeak, “gold has been falling”). And while this was going on, the basis was rising and cobasis was falling. Basis is our measure of abundance and cobasis is our measure of scarcity. Gold has become more abundant / less scarce while its price has been dropping! What does this mean? There is a global dollar liquidity crisis going on. People are selling the other currencies hand over fist to raise dollar cash. Well, they are buying dollars too (in DollarSpeak, “they are selling gold”). Why are they doing this? Did we mention that the crisis is global? Just ask those who held euros near $1.20 a year ago, and now the euro has been sold down to $1.00 so far! Everyone is facing margin calls, capital calls, loans are being called, etc. Here is the chart for silver. It does not look anything like the gold chart! Granted, the price move has been more dramatic. Whereas the gold price fell from $1,950 to $1,705, -12.6%, the price of silver fell from $25.50 to $18.64, -27%. However, the basis has been falling since late April and cobasis has been rising. Silver has been getting less abundant / more scarce. Gold Cobasis Now let’s look at the high-resolution intraday cobasis and price chart for gold this week. While the dollar rose from 17.85mg gold to 18.25mg, the cobasis chopped around and ended unchanged on the week. You can see that, at times, it correlated with the price. When cobasis moves with the price of the dollar, it means futures traders are positioning and repositioning themselves. No change in the fundamentals. However shortly after noon (GMT) on Thursday, the two lines divorce. Cobasis heads down. At first, price of the dollar is heading down, but then it heads back up, while the cobasis temporarily recovers, then chops sideways, and finally ends back down on Friday. We haven’t seen a chart like this in, well, we don’t recall how long. While buyers of metal could get more aggressive in the future, the current market conditions are not looking bullish for gold. By the way, we do expect them to get more aggressive. This market is characterized by intense selling by those desperate for liquidity and intense buying by those seeking to avoid the ravages of bad policies by governments and their central banks. Eventually, the latter will overpower the former. This was not that week (if we may butcher Aragorn’s classic line). Silver Cobasis Here’s silver. The dollar moved up from 1.6g silver to 1.66. In silver this week, the cobasis more closely tracked the price of the dollar. This may be why, after noon on Thursday, the dollar begins to weaken in silver terms (“silver went up”, in DollarSpeak). However, the cautionary note is that the cobasis depleted all of its energy in that move. It dropped from 2.25% to 0.8%. This means it was buyers of futures—speculators—who bought silver in the expectation that the price will rocket higher after the low on Thursday. Much of the backwardation in the September silver contract dissipated. The Monetary Metals Gold Fundamental Price is $1,820 and the Silver Fundamental Price is $21.89 (we’ve overloaded this article with charts, so omit the fundamental charts, but interested readers can find them on our website). Original Article Here: Read the full article

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pale-silver-comb · 4 years

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So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals.

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong.

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day.

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.)

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon.

#leverage #leverage ot3 #parker #alec hardison #eliot spencer #sophie devereaux #nate ford #talk leverage to me

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aseriesofvariousevents · 2 years

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Heist Society

I though I had read this book as a middle schooler since Perfect Scoundrels has been sitting on my shelf for as long as I could remember, but the further I got into the series, the less familiar it seemed. Despite not being a nostalgia-filled reread, it was an excellent series. Carter’s use of third-person narration in these books makes Kat a much more mature and really added to the style of the books overall. While I love first person in her other iconic series, this was the perfect choice for Heist Society.

This was such a solid book. I’m pretty sure I read it in middle school (though I’m not entirely positive) but either way, Ally Carter knows how to write a book. The plot was exciting, Kat was a pretty awesome protagonist, and Hale was the ultimate companion. The heist itself was fun and I loved the overarching message about the dubious origins of much of the art that is in museums today. Heist Society doesn’t quite live up to Gallagher Girls, but it’s still super exciting to read.

Favorite Quote: Is a forged Picasso any less beautiful than a real one? Maybe it was just her, but Kat didn’t think so.

Kat really annoyed me at the beginning, but the story grew on me pretty quickly. This might be a hot take, but the crows WISH they had what the heist society has. I honestly never knew what was coming next during this one. Hale was great as always, and the story was so exciting to read. I actually found myself getting stressed for them at points when things seemed to be going wrong. The familial tension in this one was excellent as well and really added a layer of depth to the story. I don’t think I ever read this one when I was younger, but it was great anyway as a first-time read.

Favorite Quote: People make and break their own fortunes—they are masters of their own fate.

I wasn’t sure if it was possible to write the perfect conclusion to a series, yet here I am. The story was filled with secrets and intense scenes, but what really made it stand apart was how profound the emotions were throughout. The book dealt with grief and love and family in a surprisingly eloquent way. There were moments that made me tear up, become über frustrated, or be legitimately happy for the characters. I’ve always been a huge fan of Ally Carter’s, but I did not expect to be so moved by a goofy story about teenaged thieves.

Favorite Quote: Someday you will know that the heart is not always as wise as it is strong.

While this might not have been my absolute favorite series of Ally Carter’s, I honestly can say I enjoyed every second of reading it. Kat could be frustrating at times, but she was a well-rounded and genuinely interesting protagonist which I really appreciated from a YA novel. I loved her relationship with Hale, and the complexities of this thief-ridden family. Ally Carter truly has no flops (that I’ve read yet, at least) so definitely check out her books.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Books in Series: Heist Society; Uncommon Criminals; Perfect Scoundrels

Author: Ally Carter

BONUS REVIEWS

It was fun to see the two sets of characters mix, but it wasn’t anything particularly special. Macey and Hale were an interesting dynamic, but there was so much “action” that the dialogue kind of gotten thrown to the side.

Favorite Quote: You know, if I had feelings, that might have hurt them.

This was a fun companion to the series, but not quite as good as the books were. The story was a little hard to follow at time, but it was an exciting take on a locked-room mystery toward the end. Definitely a sweet message, but the story was kind of mid.

Favorite Quote: Money comes and goes, darling. Tiaras are forever. So are titles.

Bonus Books: Double Crossed; The Grift of the Magi

Note: Technically Double Crossed could’ve been under either Gallagher Girls or Heist Society, but since I read it while reading this series, and it’s a heist of sorts, I found it more fitting under this set of reviews.

#ally carter #heist society series #heist society #uncommon criminals #perfect scoundrels #four stars #certified nora review #the grift of the magi #double crossed

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druidx · 2 years

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Incorrect quote tag game!

Tagged by @corkythewriteblr, about this time last year

Rules: use this quote generator & list as many quotes as you like using characters from your WIPs, then tag as many people as quotes you listed.

I decided to do all these from the Fighting Fantasy World of Titan because of that the last 'find the word tag' I did. Also, I'm popping the taglist up here cuz it says do as many quotes as tagees and so this is gonna get long.

Tagging: @strosmkai-rum @spacetimewraithwrites @wildswrites @tetrodotoxincs @odysseywritings @ayzrules @morganwriteblr @my-writblr @bexminx @writingingraves @dreamwishing @aalinaaaaaa @wardenoftheabyss @pleaseloathemyveryexistence @jaguarthecat

Also tagging @aquadestinyswriting because she'll get a kick out of these.

Random criminal: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Farren: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Elowyn isn’t

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Elo: Hey, Yoruk, can I get some dating advice? Yoruk: Just because I'm with Merri doesn't mean I know how I did it.

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Elo: I prevented a murder today. Aurianna: Really? How’d you do that? Elo: self control.

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Snotgrut: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Farren: You're like 15 years old Snotgrut: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

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Elo: How did none of you hear what I just said? Thazar: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Strucker: I got distracted about halfway through. Schreiber: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Elo: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Farren: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Milli? Milli: Probably “road work ahead”. Snotgrut: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

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Elo: This is a mistake Felix, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day! Elo: But not today Felix, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

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Elo: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Strucker: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Elo: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

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Elo: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase. Farren: Elo, that's a coma. Elo: Sounds festive.

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Merri: I was arrested for being too cool. Snotgrut: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

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Felix: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Snotgrut, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Felix: Felix: fsh

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Snotgrut: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Elo: Twelve, actually. Snotgrut: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Elo: Yours! Snotgrut: That's right: no one's.

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*Quentin and Felix are doing something absurdly dangerous* Felix: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time! Quentin, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

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Elo: Snotgrut, keep an eye on Schreiber today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Snotgrut: Sure, I’d love to see Schreiber get punched. Elo: Try again. Snotgrut, sighing: I will stop Schreiber from getting punched.

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*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* Enezeag: Thanks fam! Elo: oh no Felix: *cries* I love you too Snotgrut: Sounds fake but okay Laurence: *A flustered mess* Quentin: can i get a refund

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Felix: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Aurianna: Okay, but what is updog? Enezeag: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Snotgrut: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Quentin: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Snotgrut: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Felix: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Laurence: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Snotgrut: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Aurianna: What’s a henway?? Felix: Oh, about five pounds.

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Is it true that gymnasts can't work much when they're 30+ ? Is it like an Olympic gymnast thing or just stuntwork in general? I saw some people concerned over Dick's back causing him problems as he gets older. But then a lot of martial art guys like Donny Yen, Jet Lee are still pretty flexible aren't they?

I see this a lot in fandom too, anon, and as often happens, lol, I myself cater to the ‘fandom’s got it backwards’ take.

Fandom specifically focuses on Dick’s body giving out early on in life compared to the rest, due to acrobatics being ‘his niche’ but in reality - or as close to it as we can come in a universe that tbh really demands suspension of disbelief over the fact that any and all of the Batfam take as much punishment as they endure.....

Thing is, Dick is actually one of the family most likely to have the LONGEST longevity of physical fitness.

This is because fandom keeps correlating Dick’s niche as gymnastics, rather than what it IS - acrobatics.

Yes, gymnastics is typically considered a ‘young person’s game.’

ON AVERAGE.

But, something to keep in mind, is that there are different TYPES of gymnastics. There’s competitive artistic gymnastics, but also rhythmic gymnastics, aerobic gymnastics, and a few others. Olympics gymnasts are primarily competitive artistic gymnastics, but even there, there are specializations so to speak. All Olympic gymnasts are usually cross-trained on the various events/categories, but the teams overall put up their best gymnasts in each category to compete in that category when possible....because for the most part, someone who excels at say, floor routines, is not going to be the most optimal choice to do the high bars or the vault. That’s because floor routines emphasize more rhythmic gymnastics, whereas something like the vault is more in the arena of a power gymnast.

And these different areas of focus put different kinds of strains on the body.

So yes, while its true that a lot of gymnasts retire early and the Olympic teams as a whole tend to see their gymnasts exiting the game by 30 at the latest......the latter is because those gymnasts are expected to be at least capable and at elite levels in ALL events, so they can compete as needed for the overall team....BUT, in the case of the former, the gymnasts that retire early completely.....those are almost universally the power gymnasts, the ones who specialize and emphasize in the hard-hitting events like the vault, the beam, the uneven bars, etc.

I say hard-hitting, because I literally mean hard-hitting.

Because these are the high impact events. The ones that see a gymnast land with the full weight and impact of their body on their feet at the end of a successful (and exponentially force-multiplying) flip, handspring, dismount, etc.

That kind of impact puts TREMENDOUS strain on your joints....and that, specifically, is what leads to a lot of early retirements, and a lot of early wear and tear on the body. That’s the kind of punishment that the body can only withstand at elite levels for so long.

But that’s not the only kind of gymnastics, and its definitely not the thing that Dick’s known for specifically - that’s acrobatics. And while there’s similarities and crossover, that’s another ballgame entirely.

In fact, where the similarities and crossover tend to happen is in the areas of rhythmic gymastics, aerobic gymnastics.....the kind of things that you see in events like floor routines, the rings, the parallel bars, the pommel horse.

Those gymnasts, the ones who specialize primarily in those areas of focus......they tend to retire from the OLYMPICS around the same time as the others, because again, everyone on those teams needs to be on the top of their games and CAPABLE of being pitted against the power gymnasts of other teams on events like the vault if they need to fill in in a pinch.....BUT they don’t often retire at age 30 overall.

You wanna know where a lot of them end up going after that?

Cirque de Soleil.

Dead serious, I shit you not.....a ton of elite level gymnasts after leaving gymnastics end up....essentially running away to the circus, lol. A full third of Cirque de Soleil’s performers ARE former professional gymnasts.

And a lot of them end up....acrobats.

Because after all, there is a lot of crossover in the two, in terms of feats.....but the difference, the thing that lends acrobats more longevity than most power gymnasts and the like.....is the latter endure most of the abuse to their bodies and joints....when their bodies hit the ground at the end of their feats.

Acrobats, in contrast.....are kinda focused on.....not being on the ground.

A lot of the same wear and tear simply doesn’t happen on their bodies, and allows them to perform much further into life....because there’s simply less strain in the types of aerial feats acrobatics focus on, while suspended high up off the ground.

And we see this reflected in the Batfam and their various styles of fighting and focus, which is why I say despite people focusing on Dick’s body giving out soonest, as the quote unquote athlete of the family -

(Which tbh, I kinda...eh, about, because it feels often like one of those things where people NAME him ‘the athlete of the family’ just to give him his niche without having to acknowledge him as being the equal of any of the ‘brainy ones’ in that regard like Tim or Babs or Bruce, etc.....but honestly, when was the last time you saw any significant focus put on Dick being able to do something physically that the other members of his family COULDN’T do, because they’re not ‘the athlete’? Y’know what I mean? Like, there’s a lot of MENTION of how he’s the most athletic or acrobatic or all of that.....but that never seems to hold any of the others back from doing any of the equivalent physical feats one is inclined to write them doing, or allowing them to be written as sizably less skilled as fighters in any meaningful way. So focusing on Dick as being the most specifically physically minded and oriented of the family feels a bit performative, tbh, and that puts the focus on his body being specifically vulnerable to wear and tear, moreso than the others a bit.....suspect imo. BUT I DIGRESS).

My point is, regardless of that, my take is the focus on Dick’s body giving out soonest is ironically just....completely backwards. Because actually compare his form of physicality to some of the others, and you see what I’m saying:

Bruce and Jason for instance - they’re perfectly capable of high-level gymnastic feats when necessary, but their overall approach to flips and jumps and grappling swinging and the like is to use it as a means to an end. Its always in service to getting them ON THE GROUND as quickly and efficiently as possible....where they can use their brute strength and mass and physicality to its most effectiveness, wading in to brawl hand to hand with combatants anywhere possible (excepting of course when Jason is using guns from a distance, or Bruce his Batarangs, but you get what I mean in terms of overall styles).

But THAT kind of thing....is far more the realm of the power gymnast. The kind of high impact landings and force-multiplying jumps and flips meant to just....cut straight to it. Hone in like a heat-seeking missile. Deliver the full force of them as quickly and efficiently as possible.

In contrast....Dick’s style is entirely different, and hails directly from his origins and his strengths as an acrobat. He’s NOTED for basically spending as much time IN THE AIR during a fight as possible. He soars above when possible, rather than engage up front and hand to hand. He’s more likely to leap over criminals’ heads, kicking out and navigating upwards on his way to ‘tag’ the next one in any manner he can....dodging in and out, using confusion, weaponizing evasive maneuvers, getting his opponents to get tangled up in each other’s way...that’s HIS style.

Dick deliberately keeps himself at a distance as long as possible, not out of fear but out of basic awareness of his own strengths and weaknesses and his instinctive (due to being a born and raised athlete every bit as much as Damian and Cass are born and raised fighters) drive to look after his own body and keep it maintained and honed and efficient for as long as he can - something that I don’t doubt was drilled into him by his acrobats-as-their-livelihood-family from the very first moment they began training him.

The less he HAS to engage hand to hand, the less he HAS to land feet flat on the ground after a flip rather than using the balls of his feet to simply spring off even further and then transition into firing his grappling hook mid-air, the less he HAS to block a strike with the side of his forearm or strike someone fist to face rather than block with an escrima stick and strike with the other.....

The longer Dick’s body stays in strong enough condition to remain his most effective weapon.

And that’s not something everyone in his family can claim, or even point to as a priority of any kind.

Which is why I maintain that focusing on Dick’s body giving out young is not only a bit....eh....given they all perform equivalent levels of physicality in their vigilantism day in and day out.....its also, IMO, focusing on the wrong family members entirely.

(Overall, personally I’d rate Dick, Tim and Cass the ones most likely to retain their physical fitness the longest based on their respective styles and how they’re typically depicted in fight scenes).

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tsuumu · 4 years

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hq boys: would they go to jail?

headcanons on the haikyuu boys’ encounters with the local authorities... this was meant to be a joke but i put way too much effort into it so now i’m s q u i n t i n g

hinata shoyo: this boy was caught trespassing on somebody’s property after diligently trying to accomplish something as harmless as finding a lost ball or petting a small cat... he’d climbed the fence and spent a maximum of FIVE minutes there, only for the owner to accuse him of breaking and entering without any room to explain himself. imagine: the poor boy being dragged by the ear despite his protesting. he’ll get an earful when he has to ask kageyama to pick him up after the police release him with a stern warning

kageyama tobio: tobio and his tendancies to disguise himself for ridiculous reasons is going to get him in trouble because they’re shitty and VERY suspicious most likely he’ll be one of his investigative escapades with his hat and glasses, only to be stopped and asked what he’s doing. that’ll be real embarrassing for him to explain, though it doesn’t end up getting more serious than that when they realise he’s just a kid

tanaka ryūnosuke: can i say almost? TALKS SO MUCH CRAP, oh my god he won’t ever shut up so one day he’ll bite off more than he can chew. he’d get into a serious looking argument and someone mentions calling the authorities. cue a 180 personality change up where he’s scratching his neck and apologising to everybody that’s stopped to watch. tanaka is no criminal, he just has a short fuse temper and a mouth that likes to RUN faster than his brain can catch up. he’s had a few close calls

nishinoya yuu: he’s DEFINITELY told people he’s been to jail LMAO like it’s something he mentions to girls whilst picking them up thinking that’s somehow attractive, when in reality he’s never even set foot in a police station. he might have once as a child for harmless reasons, but got scared and started crying his eyes out so they had to take him outside. he’s lowkey TERRIFIED of ever crossing paths with the law

tsukkishima kei: he’d never end up in jail or even in a situation that involved the police but he’s definitely not going to answer your call if you’ve ended up there and need a ride home, keep calling and he’ll block you until morning comes

daichi sawamura: post time-skip he’s a literal police officer so that’s out of the question

sugawara koushi: absolutely not. unlike tsukki, he will pick up though. he’d be surprisingly scary when lecturing you all the way back but would ask you if you want to stop and get something to eat, since you’ve had quite the day

yamaguchi tadashi: he wouldn’t. he’s overly cautious about most things and is definitely that friend who tugs on you and asks if it’s really okay to be doing this. par example: wondering into a restricted zone because you’re convinced it’s a short cut. he’d adamant to turn back and if, unfortunately, you did get caught, cue some intense waterworks from this poor boy, begging them not to call his parents. you’d feel pretty bad after that one

bokuto koutarou: i read a post from somewhere else about bokutou not understanding that paying tax as an adult is mandatory and extremely illegal if you don’t and it cracked me up because i can genuinely imagine the bewilderment in his face when he’s told he, a newly turned adult, has to pay the government a certain sum of money

“but it’s my money.”

“yeah, but it’s taxation, you have to pay the government.”

“but the government paid me first.”

once somebody mentions jail, he’s quick to end the argument and just deal with it, much to his dismay

akaashi keiji: he’s the one doing the explaining to bokuto. they’ve had this conversation at least 17 times and show no signs of stopping. akaashi is sensible and seems like the type of guy most his friends reach out to if they’re in tricky situations with the law, he’ll /begrudgingly/ wake up at 2am to come get you

kuroo tetsurou: he likes to do his deviant work when he’s belligerently drunk. like, someone told him shotgunning beers at a public gathering wouldn’t do too much harm. they were severely mistaken. tetsu has absolutely ZERO filter when he’s that intoxicated, picking verbal fights in club bathrooms with anybody over absolutely nothing. though chances are, he’ll end up befriending them and sharing a few more drinks. if not, kenma is there to supervise him. he’ll feel apologetic in the morning

kenma kozume: you have kenma to thank when it comes to preventing things from getting serious. he’s cool-headed and knows how to drag you out of situations. he won’t scold you, he’ll just tell you to stop causing everybody trouble. it’d make you feel bad and you’d probably quit it

oikawa tooru: he’s probably been in a few situations that could’ve lead to getting a permanent criminal record. tooru is convinced he’s never in the wrong for ANYTHING and will not listen to any kind of constructive critism. pretends to be fine when he’s literally screaming inside.

“your car was parked incorrectly.”

“uh, no. i really don’t think so.”

“look at it.”

“i am. i’m looking.”

“it’s covering two parking spaces.”

“that’s simply a matter of opinion.”

asks kindaichi or iwaizumi to help. they straight up refuse, walking away respectively.

ushijima wakatoshi: this man is intent on keeping a clean record in order to reach his goal of playing professional volleyball. states that it also gives him a clear conscience because toshi is for some reason very big on morality. he’ll come get you because -and i quote- ‘it’s my job’ but he’ll try to lay down piece by piece why exactly having run-ins with the police is so crippling to your future. you’re forced to listen for the entire 30 minute trip home

tendou satori: nobody knows where this man is at 3am. he’s just.. somewhere. you’re certain he’s not doing hard crack under some passageway but he’s not at home with his feet up either. he’ll start to mention last night’s escapades and stop himself, mumbling that it was definitely illegal and that he probably shouldn’t tell you. you can’t coax information out of him, though he wishes he could tell you. he just can’t. maybe it’s cult stuff...

miya atsumu: speaking of cars, this man straight up ignored the letter he got from the local authorities telling him his court date for the speeding ticket he recieved a few days ago. thinks it’s utter bs and continues to flutter around it until they knock on his door. atsumu proceeds to ARGUE with them about his speeding ticket until they ask him to come with them.

“yer tellin’ me i have to pay for going a little too fast?”

“sir, you were going fifty-two in a fourty mph area.”

is it his pride? is he just a blithering idiot? he’s one of the only people to probably end up in a holding cell for a short duration of time. none of his friends let him drive anymore.

miya osamu: he likes to use atsumu’s misfortunes to embarrass him. it’s an easy way to one-up himself when things get competitive. at least HE never got caught shirtless and drunk with his friends at the outdoors swimming pool a little past midnight.

atsumu states that it was ONE TIME when he was newly eighteen and to stop bringing it up in every argument. osamu himself doesn’t really bother with recklessness, so you simply won’t catch him in situations like that.

rintaro suna: straight up not having a good time and leaves before anything bad arises. will respectfully hang up on you mid-explaination because he has other things to do than bail you out

sakusa kiyoomi:??????? no

korai hoshiumi: okay, he has to admit that he’s a little curious... like there’s no way he’d want to actually end up in jail but he just wants to know?? like yes, there’s consequences but human existence is temporary.. his friends have to check up on him just to make his enthusiasm hasn’t landed him somewhere troublesome

bonus

yuji terushima: currently in holding for posession of an unknown substance. might be protein powder, might not. he won’t tell anybody.

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu headcanon #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hinata headcanons #kageyama headcanons #kuroo headcanons #bokuto headcanons #oikawa headcanons #atsumu headcanons #etc i have no idea you get the gist of it #sorry i did yuji like that but like.. it had to be said

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fu-cough · 2 years

Text

I posted 5,823 times in 2021

1660 posts created (29%)

4163 posts reblogged (71%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.5 posts.

I added 2,655 tags in 2021

#ml spoilers - 1327 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 340 posts

#rant - 286 posts

#brooklyn nine nine - 146 posts

#ml - 133 posts

#ml fandom salt - 113 posts

#adrien agreste - 101 posts

#ml s4 - 89 posts

#the good doctor - 63 posts

#guiltrip - 57 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#i'm just so frustrated about how they basically said og cinderella was weak because she didn't speak out for herself

My Top Posts in 2021

Cat Noir's hatred in Dark Cupid (after he was affected by the bow) was a reflection of his love for Ladybug. And he very much loathed her.

175 notes • Posted 2021-02-10 02:52:37 GMT

So Marinette's having a breakdown from all the pressure while Adrien's having an identity crisis. They're fine. This is fine. We're fine.

178 notes • Posted 2021-04-21 05:33:56 GMT

Final reaction:

I saw that, Chat.

You CANNOT tell me him heing sidelined is intentional after THIS face.

Clearly, the, "I need you," phrase that has been keeping him going is... not quite true anymore.

Because Rena Rouge is there (again, not complaining. Please don't take this the wrong way), and Ladybug also needs her. Except she knows all the secrets.

And he's the one being left behind.

It's like having to stay behind two of your friends because all three of you don't fit in the hallway.

Also note that he's that one friend no one really knows about, but they become friends because they're friends with his friend (quoted from unknown, I forgot). This was proven in Felix where the class almost immediately believed Felix's video because, "we've only known him since we came back from summer break,"

Chloe is also pushing him away too. Notice that the Ladynoir entrance cinema scene in Gang of Secrets kind of parallels with the Chloe and Adrien entrance cinema scene in Queen Banana?

The most important thing he can contribute is support. But if people won't let him do that, he's.. just nothing. Just a plastic bag flying mid-air.

And with Nathalie being the only one really taking care of him before (quoted from Adrien's Double Life) now being sick, I wanna cry.

He's that lonely now.

Anyhow, if HE'S the secret villain this entire time, I will riot and cause chaos.

188 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 19:11:20 GMT

S4 Ending Cards so far:

I'm erasing myself from the narrative..

233 notes • Posted 2021-05-26 14:23:22 GMT

Let's Talk: Adrien's Advice In Chameleon

So apparently people use Adrien's advice in Chameleon to salt on him?? *Inhales* BOI-

You have to understand that Adrien didn't know Lila threatened Marinette, making him think she's just another bully on the block who demands attention and gets it by lying.

His tip was:

"Do you really think exposing her would make things better?"

NO. It'll only make things worse and that's been proven in Volpina.

"If you humiliate her, she'll just be hurt more,"

YES. From Adrien's point of view, Lila started hating on Ladybug becuase she humiliated her in front of her crush. Hurting her more will just give her motivation to be more evil.

"Making a bad guy suffer has never turned them into a good guy,"

MOST DEFINITELY YES. And this quote, ladies and gentlemen, made me love Adrien even more (don't even bring up arresting criminals here as making them suffer, that's their PUNISHMENT).

Adrien is definitely the most mature character when it comes to dealing with bad people (he seriously LIVES WITH TWO). Exposing Lila under the circumstances in Chameleon will just backfire to Marinette.

Lila needs to LEARN. And by learn, it doesn't mean exposing, it means that she has to watch her lies unravel to chaos and discover ALL BY HERSELF that this is all her fault. NOT because Adrien and Marinette exposed her; that cancels the "learning" part and she will definitely just be motivated more, like I said.

Plus, Adrien already put Lila back to her place when she goes too far (Onichan, Ladybug), so just MOVE THE HECK ON??

435 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 11:32:20 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #lmao I'm addicted to this thing #I finally get to feel what those people with Spotify felt

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sierraraeck · 3 years

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Return to Normalcy (Pt.2)

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: Returning to normal has never been so hard. Just as Aundreya is starting to make amends and fit back in with the group, something gets in the way. Story twenty-two.

Category: Angsty-fluff

Warnings: Cussing. CM talk. Mentions of death and suicide as a COD. Break-ins.

Word Count: 3.9k

I stormed into my apartment and slammed the door shut. I ripped off my jacket and tossed it aside along with my bag. Then I just screamed. I screamed as loud as I could for as long as I could and then I just stood there.

There came a knock on my door and I assumed it was my neighbor Billy, some poor old lady that had the misfortune of living next to me. And not to call her a grump, but for real, she could be a pain in my ass. Especially after I’d just fought off three people during the night, and then had to deal with her glaring at me in the morning asking me to please (and I quote) ‘pull myself together or throw my childish temper tantrums somewhere else.’

I whipped open the door and yelled, “Billy, I’m sorry, but I’m really not in the mood right now for your-” I stopped mid sentence, mouth hanging open when I saw who it really was. “Aaron, I’m sorry, I just-”

His eyes went wide and he offered a small smirk, “Who’s Billy?”

“Someone you’re probably glad you aren’t,” I replied. “Come in.”

Once he did, I wanted to just up and shoot myself. Way to lie to your boss about what was going on, and then just invite him inside to the only place that could prove you were lying.

He turned to face me and I sighed, shaking my head. “Can I get you anything? Water maybe?”

He gave me a pointed look, “I’m okay, thank you.”

I tried to make light of the situation, “Well, make yourself at home, if you can find a place to do that.”

My apartment really was a disaster. The couch was the only semi-clean spot considering Spencer and I had slept on it the night before, but other than that, you had to step over and around broken wood and glass to get to where you wanted to go. I’d already learned to ignore it.

“Was that true?” Hotch asked, out of the blue.

“Was what true?”

“What you said back at the office, about the snipers?”

“Yep,” I said, popping the p. “Who did you think shot Penelope?”

“We weren’t sure,” he admitted, “We suspected one of your people, but Deen assured us that was not the case. We were then so busy getting her to the hospital and finding you that we didn’t revisit it. Dave and I talked about it, but neither could really remember everything that led up to that moment.”

“That’s understandable. I’m sure it was a lot. I mean, it was a lot for me to watch,” I confessed.

“So you were also watching us,” he stated more than asked.

“I was,” I confirmed, “I had three different angles showing different people and groups at different times.”

“How come you’ve never told us this?” he asked. His face somehow always seemed neutral, yet inviting.

It was a valid question. They couldn’t exactly do a write up of the case considering they weren’t even supposed to be on it, and on top of that worked with a group of known criminals without going through all that government red-tape bullshit, so I never talked about it. Not like anyone asked. “Wasn’t important at the time. You got me out, I got you out, end of story.”

“Clearly that’s not true,” Aaron stated, glancing around the room. I shrugged. “What is really going on?”

“If I tell you I think I fixed the problem once and for all, would you let it go?” I asked. He tensed his jaw and narrowed his eyes at me, so I relented. “People were breaking in.”

“Were?”

“That’s my hope, anyway. I think I solved the problem,” I said.

He skeptically looked at me. “The problem?”

“Yeah. The problem,” I repeated, trying not to open myself up too much for profiling. I didn’t want him finding out about Archer just so that I could lose any bit of credibility I had left with him.

“Did the problem have a name?” Aaron asked, “Maybe Howard Archer?”

Fuck. “Coincidence. Plus, I was with the girls all night at a concert.”

“And every minute can be accounted for?” he asked.

“Yes,” I confidently answered, “There was a short 20 minute period where I ran home to grab my jacket, but I’m sure you can see me on the security cameras.”

I kept waiting for him to respond, but he just kept looking at me. Scanning my facial features, body language that was changing, and things that weren’t changing. We just stood there in absolute silence, staring at each other. Is he gonna say something? Does he know? I’m sure he knows, but is he gonna turn me in? Should I say something?

Then Hotch saved me from my thoughts by moving to sit on the couch. He tilted his head which was my cue to go and sit next to him.

“You actually seemed to be doing pretty well,” he started. “You were readjusting.”

“‘Were’ being the key word,” I pointed out.

“They’ll come around.”

I scoffed in his face, “If I had a dollar for everytime someone has said that to me, I would be able to buy the BAU.”

“I’m sure, but every time it’s true,” he stated.

“How can it be?” I asked, getting slightly irritated, “If every time something goes wrong they turn on me, then I have to justify it, and then they have to ‘come around’ at what point is that not working anymore? At what point do they stop ‘coming around’ and start walking on eggshells, waiting for me to mess up?”

He expertly dodged my question, “Who says we’re waiting for you to mess us?”

“Your behavior!” I exclaimed. “If you aren’t waiting for me to screw up, then how come whenever anything goes wrong, I’m immediately the target?”

“But shouldn’t you be the target?” he calmly asked.

“Probably!” I was now shouting, “That’s the most irritating part! Is that most of the time, they’re right. I am causing problems and we have to trust each other with our lives which we clearly can’t do so I get their hesitation, but it’s not me all of the time. Like those videos, I had no choice, and while I get it, they don’t have any reason to hear me out, it still hurts knowing they actually believe I’d say those things and mean them.”

“So all of the stuff you said, every word, was a lie?”

“Correct.”

I saw the corners of his lips tilt up just slightly, “Even when you called me an emotionless robot who couldn’t care less about his team?”

“Oh no,” I teased, “that was definitely true. I’ve been looking for your charging port since I met you.”

He offered a small laugh and raised his eyebrows, “You will never find it.” It lightened the mood for a moment, but once it passed, I was back deep into my thoughts. Aaron could tell, though, always so perceptive. “If it makes you feel any better, Reid is apparently doing one hell of a job standing up for you.”

“Huh?” I gave him a confused look. “How do you know that?”

“Dave is with them right now,” Hotch held up his phone quickly, “You know, Reid has been a big proponent of yours throughout all of this, even when you were on the run after the hospital.”

“Has he?” I incredulously questioned, “He seems okay with me now, but back then? I thought he hated me, you know, shoving me up against a wall and all, asking me why I was helping.” Hotch opened his mouth but I stepped in, mocking, “Oh wait, let me guess. ‘He came around.’”

“You know what, he actually did,” Hotch answered me, more seriously than I had been. “Even when he acted like he was mad, and I’m sure he was, he seemed more hurt than anything. I know the two of you had something going on, but I didn’t realize how serious it was until you were gone.” I leaned forward, inviting him to continue. “I don’t know if you know this, I’m not actually sure Reid fully knows this, but he cares about you, a lot. More than either of you care to admit. I know you feel the same.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure Maeve does as well,” I reminded him.

“That’s an excuse.”

“Excuse me?” I wasn’t prepared for how harshly he was calling me out.

“You know it is. I’ve never seen you back down from any challenge, yet, the moment there’s even the possibility of someone else being in Reid’s life, you just, give up?” I stared at him, jaw on the floor. “Why is that?”

I knew why. I’m sure he knew why. I’m not good enough. I’ll corrupt him. I’ll poison him. He already went to prison because of me, I don’t want to be the one to completely hurt and destroy him. But I didn’t want to confess that, so I went for, “I just don’t think he’s as interested in me as you think he is. Plus, Maeve is good for him.”

“So that’s the reason?” Hotch asked, addressing my added reason. “You don’t think you are good for him?”

“And you do?” I fired back, astonished. “Look at me! Look at what I’ve gotten him into! Prison, drugs, watching me murder people in front of him, nearly getting him shot by a sniper, the nightmares he’s having from all of the trauma I’ve put him through, not to mention everything I’m sure I’m continuing to put him through!”

Hotch grabbed me by the shoulders, and until that moment, I hadn’t realized I was shaking. “Aundreya!” I partially snapped out of it, and looked him in the eyes. “You did all of that for him.”

“Sure, but if I was normal-”

“You think Reid’s normal?” Hotch kept his voice raised, “Neither of you have been normal for your entire lives.”

“Exactly! So maybe he needs normal for one, maybe he needs something low stress, low pressure, and low risk like Maeve.”

“No,” he insisted, voice strong, “He needs someone who is willing to fight for him as hard as he's willing to fight for you. I’ve seen the way he fights for you, Aundreya, and while he was working hard to find Maeve, it wasn’t anywhere near the amount of effort he put into finding you. He was broken up when he thought something happened to Maeve, but he didn’t even allow himself the time to think about that when it came to you. He was so laser focused on putting the pieces together, that he wasn’t sleeping. He was barely eating. Maeve had to come to us because it got to the point where she was genuinely concerned for his health, and I made him take a forced vacation and ordered him not to think about you. In that moment, you know who he reminded me of? You.”

My mouth was dry, and my brain was still processing everything he was telling me. All I could manage was a small, “What?”

“When he got incarcerated, you had your own evidence board in your apartment, you spent every free moment thinking about him and trying to figure out who was really behind this. You didn’t sleep, and you didn’t eat. Finally, you just went into the prison to get him out yourself, and then you actually solved his case, putting yourself in the line of fire just so that he wouldn’t be. Sure, you didn’t come to us about what you’d figured out, but you were still trying to protect him, and all of us. You took matters into your own hands, and Reid was damn near close to doing the same thing.”

I struggled to find any words that could possibly respond to learning something like that. “I-I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t. You were busy doing whatever it was you were doing, but you never asked. You never even looked into it. Because you run from your problems,” he stated, his voice back to one of calm neutrality. “Stop torturing yourself. Stop running.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

After Hotch left, I had a lot going through my mind. I just sat on my couch, staring out at nothing, thinking about everything he had told me.

Spencer was working that hard to find me? After everything I’ve put him through, he still cares about me? He’s been standing up for me? Okay, and what the fuck did he mean that Spencer was about to take things into his own hands? How could he have-

My thoughts were cut short by the vibrating of my phone on the small coffee table. I reached for it and saw Spencer’s name at the top. Speak of the devil. “Hello?”

“Hey, Aundreya, how are you doing?” his voice sounded a little horse and definitely groggy.

“About average. Just waiting to see if anyone decides that the night is ripe for apartment raiding. How about you?”

“You shouldn’t joke about that. You could get seriously hurt,” Spencer sounded concerned, and a bit frustrated.

“If I don’t joke about it, I’ll never survive it,” I replied. “But don’t worry about me, I know how to fend them off in my non existent sleep by now, and you never answered my question. How are you?”

“I am worried about you.” I could practically hear his small pout through the phone, “That’s why I was going to invite you over.”

“Spencer, you don’t have to do that,” I assured.

“I kind of feel like I do. I don’t want you constantly having to fight those people alone,” his voice was like velvet, spreading from the phone all the way through my body.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be alone.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I mean, once they break in, I won’t be alone anymore,” I smirked.

“You’re terrible,” he feigned annoyance, but I could tell he was cracking a smile.

“But you already knew that,” I shot back.

“I did,” he sighed, “I’m serious, though. Please, come over. If not, I will drive to your apartment and wait with you.”

“No, definitely not,” I quickly responded.

“Great, so I’ll see you in about 15 minutes?” Genius bastard. Way to play off my fear of you being around when shit goes down.

I rolled my eyes, “Sure.”

When I got to his place, I didn’t even have to knock before the door swung open. He was standing in a pair of blue and black checkered pajama pants, but with his white dress shirt still on. It was unbuttoned slightly at the top, sleeves rolled up, and his tie was nowhere to be found. His hair was a bit of a mess and his feet were completely bare. I swallowed.

“Hi, come it,” he ushered me through the door.

“Hi,” I said, with a small smile on my face.

“What?” he asked, following my eyes as I scanned him up and down.

I shook my head, a cheeky smile on my face, “Just wondering what I’m interrupting.”

He gave me a sarcastic look. “Yeah, I was in the middle of changing.”

“Then by all means,” I gestured in the direction of his bedroom. He nodded, scurrying away from me while I scanned the room. It looked just like it had on that tv screen months ago, probably not a single book out of place. The curtains were open but it was dark outside, only the moonlight shining through. I quickly went over to shut them.

When I turned around, Spencer was now fully changed with an old MIT t-shirt on, watching me curiously. He looked confused and like he was about to ask me something, when I saw the lightbulb go off. “Oh, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think-” he started.

“Don’t be,” I cut him off, “You can’t remember everything.”

“I should,” he sounded irritated with himself, “I can’t imagine walking in here and having that be the exact same angle as the one you saw when-”

“Spencer,” I sternly got his attention, “It’s okay. The problem is solved. It’s not that big a deal.”

He sighed and looked down. “It is, though.”

I walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, and it felt like the most natural thing I’d done all day. He raised his eyes to meet mine, and it was like I could see all the images flashing over his pretty eyes. “Don’t think about it. Please, when you look at me, don’t think about the things you saw, the things your mind can’t forget.”

“I’m trying,” he whispered, “I really am.”

“That’s all I ask,” I replied, forcing a smile.

“You know, if you ever want to talk about it-”

“I don’t,” I rejected, way too quickly. I could see the small amount of pain in his eyes, “But if I do, I’ll know I can come to you.”

That eased the tension a little, and he turned to walk to the kitchen. “Can I get you anything?”

“I’m okay, thank you,” I said. He returned with two bottles of water anyways and sat down in one of the small kitchen chairs, pushing one toward the opposite end. I sat across from him and took the bottle.

“You know that I was hooked on dilaudid for a while, but I never told you how I got started,” he murmured, fidgeting with the bottle cap.

“Spencer-”

“No, it’s okay. Within my first couple years at the BAU, there was a man named Tobias Hankle. He had multiple personalities, three to be exact, which is very rare. I got split up from JJ when we were searching for him, and he kidnapped me. He tied me to a chair and tortured me for what felt like months. Whenever Tobias’s personality was in control, he would give me dilaudid to help me deal with the pain. After the team came to rescue me, I stayed behind to grab the extra bottles.” At this point, he was tearing up, and his voice was quivering. I couldn’t imagine him having to go through that as a brand new agent barely into his 20s, and there was a pit in my stomach imagining him in almost the same situation I had just been in. “I became my own worst enemy. The drugs were making me angry to the point where I couldn’t even do my job properly, but I felt like I could no longer function without them. Once I ODed for the first time, I decided that it was time for me to get help. I’ve been sober for over six years now.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go through that. I’m impressed with your willpower,” I said, moving my hand to cover his.

“Impressed?”

“Yeah. When most people get hooked on drugs, to the point of ODing, they can’t stop. I’m amazing with your strength to stop and to stay clean all this time. I mean, you have a very stressful job,” I pointed out.

“That’s true, and thank you. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone, and you can always come to me because I’m the last person who could ever judge you. I’m sure you’re tougher than I was and won’t make the same mistakes, but if you do, please talk to me. I’ll always help you,” he said, looking at me with big, watery eyes.

Without answering him, I stood up and gently pulled on the hand I was already holding toward me. He stood up and I wrapped my arms around him. We comfortably melted into the other’s embrace, entering our own safe bubble filled with warmth and compassion. When I pulled away, I assured, “I’ll always be here to help you, too.”

I tried so hard to keep my emotions at bay, but the way he looked at me pushed me over the edge. Right as the first tear slipped down my cheek, he brought his hand to my face and used his thumb to brush it away. With our arms still around each other, emotions flowing between us, he kissed me. Gently pressing his lips to mine, noses softly rubbing against each other’s, in our own infinite moment. He was so warm and so cozy that I didn’t want him to pull away when he did. I would have rather suffocated.

He scanned my eyes, and started, “I, um, I-I’m so-”

I brought my finger to his lips to stop him. “Shh. We don’t have to talk about it right now.”

He was silent for a moment before he nodded, “Okay. Do you want to maybe stay and watch something on the tv with me or…”

“I would, but I think I should get back home,” I said. Hotch’s voice came ringing back into my head. You run from your problems. Stop torturing yourself. Stop running.

But tonight was not that night. “O-oh. Are you sure it’s safe? I wouldn’t want you going home where you still have people breaking in.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I gave him a tight lipped smile. “Besides, I think I solved that problem.” I reluctantly moved myself out of Spencer’s arms and headed toward the door.

“Hey, Aundreya?” he asked, stopping me before I could leave.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to answer, but I wanted to ask. Why was I the only one without a video?”

I knew that question would come up at one point or another, either from him or another teammate. “Because you’re my weakness.”

His face scrunched up in confusion. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Which it didn’t, thinking from his perspective. If he was my weakness, wouldn’t DeLeon start there? I explained, “He was saving the best for last. He knew I wouldn’t be able to say those things when it came to you, and if I did, he was going to leave the live feed on to make sure that I ruined our relationship. If I couldn’t say those things, he was going to shoot you and make me watch. I luckily thought of a way out of that situation before it happened.”

“So all that about ‘I’m not capable of loving’..?”

“Probably true,” I confessed with a sad, bitter laugh. “But I don’t want it to be. I’m hoping it’s not.”

“It’s not,” Spencer said, with all the confidence in the world. “You’ve been to hell and back for most everyone you’ve ever worked with and cared about. That says something, and I believe that shows you are capable of love.”

“When I’m around you, I start to believe that’s true.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

I returned home, feeling more relaxed than I’d ever had, even confident in my ability to get a good night's sleep without intruders. But when I opened my apartment door, on the scratched up wall opposite me, there were big red letters spelling out three words:

This isn’t over.

I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed Mateo. Before he could even greet me, I rushed, “I was wrong, it wasn’t Archer. It’s been DeLeon this whole time.”

“And you killed Archer!” he screeched, “Do you know what you’ve done?”

“I was solving a problem,” I bit back, frustrated.

“The wrong one apparently. DeLeon is going to come for you now that you’ve broken your deal.” The panic in his voice sounded like it almost matched mine.

“I know. But this time, I’ll be ready.”

Series Taglist

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

#aundreya chambers #criminal minds fanfic #bau x oc #dr spencer reid fanfic #aaron hotchner #spencer x oc #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fanfiction #bau #behavioral analysis unit #spencer reid #reid #spencer reid fanfic #hotch #aaron hotch hotchner

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criminally-awesome-blog · 3 months

Text

(Emily dancing and singing in front of her phone next to JJ) Emily: oh my, oh my oh, oh my god, this girl straight. *Emily point at JJ* JJ: ... Emily: This girl not, tipsy off that peach ciroc like la la la. JJ (looking fed up): Emily we've literally been married for 2 years.

#criminal minds #crimnal minds fandom #emily prentiss #jenifer jareau #criminal mids quote wrong #incorrect criminal minds #jemily #jj x emily

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forever-alone-su-au · 4 years

Text

Chapter 1 The Wait (The Wake)

I, Steven Quartz Cutie Pie Demayo Universe, found myself alone in a strange, featureless room. There were no doors or windows or any indication of where I should go next. I wanted to know where I should go, so I could do what I came here to do. Face the music for my mother’s war crimes. Determined, I declared to the world, “I know my mom did something bad. Whatever Homeworld has in store for me... I'm ready!” There was a slight echoing in the room, but other than the sound of my voice, nothing.

“I said, I’m ready! It’s me, Rose Quartz!” The floors and walls were bright and uniform, and distantly reminded me of fluorescent lighting. All of the corners were perfectly rounded, and I didn’t think there was anyway out. Unnerved, I started to look around, and explore the room. Perhaps there was something to push or somewhere to place my hand, so a door would open up?

“Hello? Anybody?” I called out, despite knowing that no one was likely to answer me. “Lars? You there?” I didn’t even know what happened to Lars since we were separated. Was he taken to the zoo, after all? Or somewhere even worse?

Personally, I couldn’t think of anything worse than this, however. Trapped in a room with nothing to do, and nobody else to talk to? Was this it then? “Is this the punishment?” But it couldn’t be! “Come on! I know it's going to be worse than this!” Rose Quartz, mom, had shattered Pink Diamond. Wouldn’t the consequences be greater than this!?

I had no other choice at the time, there wasn’t any other way to save everybody from my own past mistakes, but now that I had the time to think… I didn’t want to pay for my mother’s crimes. But how was I ever going to get back home? Back to dad and the Gems? Back to Connie? “So whatever you're going to do…” Or was this how I tempted fate? In the entire place, there was only one wall with a bit of color on it. It was pink, and I slumped against it for the comfort of having my face squished against something. “Would you just do it already?” I couldn’t help but sound defeated.

Despite facing the other way, immediately, I knew what that ridiculous sound meant, and almost couldn’t believe my ears. It couldn’t be as easy as a door magically opening, could it? Of course, the door didn’t just magically appear by itself, but opened at the appearance of a blue Homeworld Gem, one I’d never met the type of before. She looked kind of like Pinocchio, but with a crescent hood, sort of like a crescent moon really, and surrounded by a multitude of screens suspended mid-air, which followed wherever she went. Also, she was sweating quite profusely; the Gem seemingly preoccupied with the digital panel floating directly in front of her. I don’t think she even noticed I was there, she was so nervous, practically muttering to herself the whole time. “This is ridiculous!” Well, that was fine. I almost didn’t notice her either, if she hadn’t just come in through the new door in the wall. The door that closed just before I could escape through it, too.

“4,000 years of loyal service to the court, and this is what I get? Oh, I'm the unluckiest Zircon in the galaxy!”

Thoroughly disappointed at this turn of events, I turn towards the apparent Zircon, who gasps as she realizes I was there all along.

“Wait, are you…” Zircon starts, looking back to where she’d just come through, as if she came through the wrong door, and was checking to see if she was where she was supposed to be. “Rose Quartz?”

Reluctantly I answered her, because it was true in a way. “Yeah…” I might’ve been a hybrid, and I wasn’t actually my mom, but I was still a Rose Quartz… More importantly, I ‘was’ the infamous Rose Quartz, leader of the Gem Rebellion, or at least, I did possess her Gem. Even if I didn’t have her memories. “...Really.” Zircon drawled, sounding more than a little doubtful. Well, I was Rose’s son, but I didn’t think Homeworld Gems even knew what a son even was, so I didn’t even try.

“It’s a long story,” I told her. It felt like I’ve had to try and explain myself every time I met a new Homeworld Gem. Usually this was the part where I gear up to tell the new Homeworld Gem my backstory, but it didn’t seem like she wanted to hear it either.

“Don’t. Ugh! I’ve read the case files. Let’s just use this time to prepare your case.”

“Case?” I repeated, turning it into a question in the hopes that she’d answer me, however. She ignored this, and started ranting instead. It was familiar in a fashion, she was getting to be almost as neurotic as Pearl tended to be. “Ugh! What’s the point? This case is a sham! We’ve all heard rumors of Pink Diamond’s demise, but I can’t believe these case files—” Zircon frantically scrolls though the front most screens. “Shattered by one of her own Quartz soldiers- Ugh! In front of her own entourage!? If it weren’t for all of these official documents meticulously filed and carefully collected reports from multiple eyewitnesses, I’d say someone must be tumbling my rocks with these absurd claims.”

Unsure of how to respond to her rant, I kept my mouth shut. Y’know just in case. It could all turn out that mom wasn’t a war criminal, after all. And that I could just go home… Now if only that were true, or if I even knew what was going on.

“You know,” Zircon pointed at me, looking me in the eyes. “You’re lucky you have a character eyewitness willing to take the stand for you, ‘Rose Quartz.’”

“Eyewitness? Take the stand? What does that mean- What’s going to happen!?” What did all of this have to do with my looming punishment?

“What did you think was going to happen, ‘Rose Quartz!’” Why does she keep doing that? I could practically hear the quotes around Rose Quartz. Does she actually believe that I’m not my mom? “As soon as that door opens, you’re going on trial!” Mouthing the word, hoping to make the concept of going to trial make any sort of sense, but before I could even begin to process it, I’m rocked to the core by the next words out of her mouth.

“And then there’s the claim that the Gem calling herself Rose Quartz, leader of the rebellion, isn’t even Rose Quartz.” My eyes turned as large as saucers, and my mouth fell open. “Or even a Rose Quartz for that matter.

“What!?” That couldn’t be right! I am Rose Quartz! ...Right? Maybe it was a clerical error? I know I have a Rose Quartz Gem since I’ve seen what other Rose Quartz Gems are supposed to look like. Or, at least, I’ve seen them before, briefly, in Pink Diamond’s old bubble room on the Zoo ship.

“I know I don’t look like a,” and here, Steven lifted up his shirt to reveal what was most assuredly a “Rose Quartz—” “Even ignoring your ridiculous disguise-” Zircon folded over to get a closer look at my Gem, peering at it with squinted eyes. “Yes, just as reported and corroborated by two Rubies assigned to the Jasper retrieval mission- Your Gem is more of a pinkish red than the reddish pink of a true Rose Quartz.” Or am I wrong? Did the bubbles I saw Rose Quartz Gems through only make them look similar to my own?

A flash of bright light stuns my sight for a brief moment, “Wha—” and then when my sight clears, I realize Zircon, using her monocle, had just taken a picture of my Gem without asking my permission. Rude.

Making a little whooshing motion, I guess she filed it away into her monocle.

Ah. “Wait! I’ve told Navy my Gem looks like this, because my body isn’t made out of hard light, so—” Zircon turns towards me to speak, giving me her full attention, instead of continue fiddling with one of her screens.

“Yes,” Zircon elucidates, articulating clearly, without a slight lisp for the first time since I met her. “Who hasn’t heard of what happens to a Gem when she doesn’t get enough solar power?” Zircon asks me rhetorically. “The dimming of a Gem isn’t unheard of, but it doesn’t change a Gem’s hue. Now dim lighting is a whole nother situation.” Turning away, Zircon briefly glances back to her files on the screens suspended mid-air, skimming the text in front of her before turning her attention back to me. Pointer finger pointed upwards, Zircon affected a familiar and nostalgic lecturing tone. “Lighting and other environmental factors can affect the cast of a Gem, and can make her temporarily look a different color, but take her out of such an environment, and the problem is solved.”

“For example, blue lighting can make a yellow Gem look green, but it’s purely superficial.” Still facing the screen in front of her, finger posed in front of the screen, she glances back to look me in the face. “Yet a yellow Gem is still a yellow Gem, no matter what it looks like, in certain lighting. And a reddish pink Gem shouldn’t look pinkish red.” Spreading her arms out, Zircon indicated the wider room, the room which reminded me of fluorescent lighting with it’s walls emitting bright white light. “Especially in the light of this waiting room where there’s no red light to give your Gem a reddish cast.”

Just as Zircon looked about to speak up, to ask me what kind of Quartz I really was perhaps, I accidentally spoke over her. “Well, if I’m not a Rose Quartz than what am I!?” Too impatient to glean the answer from her, and acting rude, I could feel myself adopt a blush.

Expressing just how ridiculous she thought I was being, Zircon gave my face a hard search, expecting me to be ‘tumbling her rocks’ maybe. “Are you being serious right now?” My face must have been communicating how Serious Steven I was being, because she looked to finally be taking me seriously. Which could only be good, because by this point, I was completely lost. “Of course you are.” Plus she sighed after looking at me again. “Just… don’t expect me to know either! I’m a Zircon, not a Kindergartener. It’s my job to defend your case in Court, not find out whatever cut and facet you could possibly be.” “Just-” Here, Zircon closed her eyes, looking weathered, and rubbed her tired eyes. “Tell me what you’re going to say in Court, so I can help you make your case.”

Going over what I planned to say in court seemed perfectly reasonable, so I started to tell my new friend what exactly it was that I planned to say… “I’m-” Looking to my right, I suddenly felt embarrassed, but I was going to be determined, I reminded myself, comfortingly. “I’m guilty! Everything you guys said I did, I did. And I did it by myself. And I'm sorry. I'll accept any punishment you want to give me.”

“Whoa! Stop, stop!” Frantically, Zircon made a crossed out gesture with her arms. “Don’t say that! That’s the worst possible thing you could say in Court.” Zircon thought to herself that it also sounded absolutely ridiculous! “But I am guilty! So what if my mom- So what if I’m not a Rose Quartz!? I’m still guilty!” Opening her mouth, it looked like Zircon wanted to refute what I’d just said, but suddenly decided against it. Did she change her mind? Squinting her eyes at me, Zircon leaned into my personal space a little bit, which made me feel extra nervous, and lean backwards a tad. After a moment, she asked me, “Than how?” In the sanctity of her own mind, Zircon was starting to have her own suspicions about this strange, erratic Gem.

Not expecting the question, I could only let out a confused, “Huh?” Real smooth Steven. At least, this was just a practice run and not the actual trial.

“You can’t expect to say all of that, and not be questioned on how you did it. This is a trial, after all.” Zircon didn’t repeat what she’d said earlier about how much of a sham this trial really was, however.

“Um… Okay. It was in front of Pink Diamond’s palanquin. I was probably like, "Stop!" and she was all like, "No!", so we fought, I think. And she probably did some cool moves. I probably did some cool moves too, some jump kicks and stuff.”

“Stop, stop, stop!” Zircon made an abortive motion with her hands. “What are you saying!? "Like" this, "probably" that! Oh, what are you thinking going "I think"!?” The more heated Zircon became, the more her hands waved about. It looked like Zircon was at risk of having a stroke. …Or a caffeine overdose.

But Zircon couldn’t help herself, she found the Gem in front of her beyond frustrating.

“Some jump kicks and stuff!?” Exasperated, Zircon lifted her head back, and raised her hands imploringly. “Please work with me here.” She could only hope for the ground to open up and just take her now.

“What do you think this is? An imperial trial or some back alley reenactment!?” Zircon placed her hands on my shoulders, and squeezed, just a little bit. “Please choose your words more carefully, both our Gems are on the line here!” Okay. Her words made me feel a little guilty, but I could tell it wasn’t on purpose. She really thought she might be shattered if she didn’t do well. “Look I... I just don't know how it actually happened, okay!?” …At least, her hands didn’t hurt, and instead felt sort of comforting to the touch.

“You don’t know!?” Zircon gripped the front of my shirt again, lifting me up more easily to her eye level this time. “Don’t tumble my rocks! Did you do this or not?” Seeing the look on the other’s face, Zircon lowered the other back down, but didn’t let go of the shirt. “Why are you so insistent on pleading guilty if you don’t actually know how it went down?” Did she want to die? “I’m not her, okay? But I’ve got her Gem, and she doesn’t exist anymore, so. In the end, I’m the one who’s got to pay for this!” It was so frustrating, having to explain myself like this. It often made me want to tear up. I looked away, so I didn’t have to look Zircon in the eyes, so she didn’t have to see my face. “She made me for this, to fix the problems she didn’t want to deal with.” “Oh,” Zircon’s breath left her, her mouth forming a little o. That, that was a lot to unpack right there. “Yeah, ‘oh,’” I mutter, ignoring the way my throat hurt, instead focusing on the floor. I wish I could see dad.

At first, Zircon had thought the weird little Gem in front of her was some sort of patsy. Her words had a certain polished quality to it, as if since her emergence, she’d been coached on what to say for just this sort of situation. It’d just made sense to Zircon. Some sort of neo-rebellion seeking legitimacy through a scapegoat Rose Quartz, ill-disguised to make her look guilty, and to cover up the fact that the Gem wasn’t a Rose Quartz. Stir up Homeworld and the rest of the Empire with rumors of the trial and summary execution of Rose Quartz, leader of the rebellion. Immortalizing her in stone, a martyr. The perfect conclusion to such suspicious circumstances. After all, Zircon had read the reports on how exactly the rebellion ended. How could there have been any survivors? But this? The more time Zircon spent talking to this Gem, the more—

“It doesn’t make sense.”

“What doesn’t make sense?” I felt too emotionally drained for anymore of this back and forth, but it always seemed like there was something more. “It just doesn’t make sense! That’s not how it works.” Zircon waved her arms around, trying to emphasize what she meant. “Only Diamonds can make—” Zircon was interrupted by the ridiculous sound of a door opening, causing the both of them to look towards the now looming, open door way. “...more Gems.” Zircon belatedly finishes, the two of us sharing a look. It was finally time to face the music. I, Steven Quartz Cutie Pie Demayo Universe, was going to trial… as daunting as that sounded.

#steven universe #steven universe au #blue zircon #yellow zircon #blue diamond #yellow diamond #fanfiction #chapter 1 #Forever Alone SU AU

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labyrinth-archive · 4 years

Note

Baby batcat + “car”? Please?

Selina Kyle is fifteen-years-old when she picks up the habit.

She’s fifteen and fighting off a terrible, traitorous blush because Bruce is telling her that he feels tied together with her in a way he’s never felt with anyone else, in a way he wouldn’t ever change. And she gets it, because she feels that connection too, feels it like it’s something magnetic, something electric, but she’s not going to admit that out loud.

So she changes the subject and desperately tries to keep the awful pink blush out of her cheeks.

(She fails.)

“I’m going to steal one of your cars to take back to the city,” she says, trying to ignore the stupid, stupid flutter in her chest that starts when Bruce’s eyes meet hers and how it feels like her world’s stopped spinning for a second. “Is that cool with you?”

The fact that she’s bothering to check with him first before she takes off with his car is something of a testament to their friendship (and whatever this new thing is between them that she’s trying not to think about.) She’s not really waiting for his formal permission - cats rarely yield to anyone, after all - but somehow Selina finds herself caring about what his answer is anyways. She likes the idea that in a world full of no’s, Bruce will be the one person who’ll say yes; that he’ll always say yes to her.

And he does.

(It’s the first time Selina ever asks Bruce if it’s okay to steal something.

And it’s not the last.)

***

Selina is sixteen and is taking an involuntary swim after being pushed into the Gotham harbor during a trap gone wrong. She surfaces with a mouthful of seawater, and is screaming both horrible insults and horrifying threats when Bruce takes off his sweater, wraps it around her, and shuttles her into his car.

She’s still muttering terrible, terrible things about the freak that pushed her in and how she’d like to return the favor when Bruce pulls up in front of her apartment.

“Our trap worked, Jim arrested him,” Bruce reminds her as he parks the car and the purr of the engine slowly fades. “And I believe the GCPD would frown upon you trying to take a criminal in their custody to, quote, ‘shove them underwater and get some payback.’”

Bruce is probably right. But a girl’s got to fantasize every once in a while.

Oh well.

“Fine. But I’m stealing this from you,” Selina says, nodding down at his sweater that’s wrapped around her. She’s still got saltwater stinging her eyes and the briny taste of the ocean on her tongue, but Bruce’s sweater is made of cashmere and is cozier than anything she’s ever worn in her entire life and it somehow feels comforting. She doesn’t want to leave his sweater behind and face the sharp slap of cold air on her wet skin, even for the short trek upstairs. “Okay?”

“Sure.”

(A week later, when she still hasn’t returned the sweater, Bruce asks her about it. But Selina likes how warm it is against the night air and how soft it is against her skin and – though there are exactly three thousand things she’d rather do than ever admit to it – she also likes that it smells like him. She’s definitely keeping it, she decides. He’ll just have to go buy himself a new sweater. It’s not like he can’t afford it. Selina’s pretty sure Bruce can afford to buy an entire sweater factory. He’s a billionaire, after all, and she really doesn’t feel sorry for him.

“Oh, no,” Selina says, smirking. “You’re never getting that sweater back.”)

***

Selina is eighteen when she breaks into Wayne Manor’s kitchen at three o’clock in the morning to search for something to eat.

Bruce doesn’t even pretend to be surprised to see her randomly appear in his house anymore. This scenario happens way too often for that.

“Yeah, I know, I’m uninvited,” Selina says as a greeting while she moves to rifle through the cupboards and peek into the jars on the counter. “But I’m hungry.”

“As if not being invited anywhere’s ever stopped you before,” Bruce replies in that calm, factual way of his. Then something in his gaze softens, the way it always does when he looks at her, and he adds, “Besides, you’re always welcome here. You know that.”

Selina stops her rummaging for a moment to glance up at him. He looks tired. So, so tired. He must’ve been out on patrol, she realizes, or working late on one of his cases. She knows he loses track of time when he works, loses track of anything that’s not the mystery he’s trying to unravel in his mind. There’s grey circles under his eyes and his dark hair is askew in a way he’d never let it be during the day. His movements are just a bit slower, his footsteps just a bit heavier. Bruce has always borne the look of someone who has the weight of the world on his shoulders, but there are some nights where he looks like the weight’s threatening to make him collapse.

She wants to tell him to stop, to put the world down for a minute before it crushes him. She wants to say he’s not Atlas, that he’s not part of a Greek tragedy, but she knows that he might as well be; knows that he can’t stop being who he is and helping however he can, so the words never leave her lips and she turns her attention back to the counter.

“I’m stealing some of these cookies, okay?” she says, holding up a cookie jar in one hand and shaking it at him.

“Take them all,” Bruce says, yawning. “Just make sure to return the jar. Alfred will be livid if you don’t, it’s part of a set.”

She laughs at that, and then smiles, and Bruce smiles back at her, and they act like this - unexpected meetings in the middle of the night - is normal.

But maybe for them, it is normal.

(“Go to bed, Bruce,” Selina adds later, as she climbs out the window. She never could bring herself to use a door when she didn’t have to. “You look terrible.”

“Goodnight to you too, Selina.”)

***

Selina is thirty-eight-years-old before she asks to steal the same item for a second time.

There’s a sliver of a silver moon up in the night sky along with stars that glitter like tempting diamonds in a jeweler’s window, and once again, a bat and a cat find themselves up on a roof.

“You. Me. A rooftop. It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?”

Bruce stops at Selina’s words and looks around, as if noticing for the first time where they are, which isn’t surprising. They’d had to leave the scene down below quickly before it was swarmed with police picking up the thugs they just fought, and they hadn’t really had time to think about where to go. It had almost been an unconscious decision on both their parts to run to the roof for safety.

“We do seem to end up here a lot,” Bruce admits.

Selina hums in agreement as she watches the glowing row of car headlights below, and then feels compelled to add, “At least you aren’t dumping money off the roof this time.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“You threw money off a roof, Bruce.”

“The money was for research, Selina.”

“Whatever,” she says. His argument didn’t impress her back then and it certainly doesn’t impress her now.

But Bruce is starting to say something else, something about the criminal psychology research the money was part of, and Selina really doesn’t care to hear one of his lectures, so she rolls her eyes and shuts him up the best way she knows: she leans in and kisses him, effectively stopping him mid-sentence. She enjoys the sudden silence and the feeling of his arms sliding around her waist and his lips moving against hers, and then, quick as lightning, she snatches his keys.

She pulls back, and just like she did all those years ago when she was fifteen, she says, “I’m going to steal your car now, okay?”

She holds up his keyring she’s plucked from his pocket, a triumphant smile flashing across her face as she does.

Bruce just looks resigned.

(“Selina,” he says, sighing like he always does whenever this happens now. “We drove here together. We’re married. Everything’s half yours. You don’t have to pick my pocket and steal the keys from me.”

“Come on, Bruce,” she says dismissively, waving her hand and jingling the keys, “where’s the fun in that?”)

#batcat fanfic #batcat #gotham #baby batcat #selina kyle #bruce wayne #batcat fanfiction #batcat fic #baby batcat fanfic #gotham fanfic #Bruce x Selina #batman #catwoman #my fic

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karihighman · 4 years

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I love this job more than I imagined I could. The day I stop giving it my all is the day I walk away.”

–John Nolan (Nathan Fillion), 2×14 “Casualties”

The quote above really encapsulates the draw of ABC’s police dramedy (that’s drama-comedy) The Rookie. The Nathan Fillion led series was ordered back in spring 2018, and aired its first season from 2018-2019. It’s currently in its second season, with a new episode airing this Sunday, April 26. In light of that – and because I’ve since managed to get 2 of my friends hooked on it – I decided I’d write up a few reasons as to why you should definitely check out this show…if you haven’t already!

Reason #1: The cast

(ABC/Andrew Eccles)

Yes, Nathan Fillion of ABC’s Castle headlines the series, but there’s a whole slew of cast members that carry the show just the same. Not to mention, you’ve probably seen them on other TV shows or films prior to their appearance on The Rookie.

CURRENT CAST (as of season 2–onward):

Nathan Fillion portrays John Nolan, the 45-year-old “rookie” who decided to pack up and move to LA to join the LAPD after a robbery at his local bank in Pennsylvania made him question his life decisions. You’ve probably seen him on: Castle, Firefly, Two Guys & a Girl, and/or Con Man.

Alyssa Diaz portrays Angela Lopez, one of three TOs (training officers) at the Mid-Wilshire Police Department in Los Angeles, California. You’ve probably seen her in: As the World Turns, Army Wives, The Nine Lives of Chloe King, and/or Ray Donovan.

Richard T. Jones portrays Sergeant Wade Grey, who is the immediate boss of the TOs, and is also responsible for their rookies, as well as the remainder of the police under his command at the station. You’ve probably seen him in: Judging Amy, Why Did I Get Married?/Why Did I Get Married Too?, and/or Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Titus Makin Jr. portrays Jackson West, the second in the trio of rookies. His father is the head of LAPD’s Internal Affairs, so he’s struggled some with having to prove himself outside of his father’s shadow. You’ve probably seen him in: Glee, Starcrossed, Pretty Little Liars, and/or The Path.

Melissa O’Neil portrays Lucy Chen, the 28-year-old hotshot who completes the trio of rookies in the LAPD. She decided to become a cop on a whim, but she loves it so much now, even though it’s the opposite of what her psychologist parents want her to do career-wise. You’ve probably seen her in/on: Canadian Idol, Dark Matter, and/or as a part of the Broadway musical Les Miserables.

Eric Winter portrays Tim Bradford, the second training officer under Sgt. Grey. He’s first seen as the no-nonsense type, but has since softened some during season 2. You’ve probably seen him in: The Mentalist, Witches of East End, The Ugly Truth, and/or Days of Our Lives.

Mekia Cox portrays Nyla Harper, a former undercover detective turned training officer. She’s quite a badass, and does whatever she can to excel at work, as it’ll earn points in her favor, because she’s fighting for custody of her daughter with her ex-husband. You’ve probably seen her in: 90210, Chicago Med, Secrets & Lies, and/or Once Upon a Time.

CURRENT RECURRING CAST (as of season 2–onward):

Image Credits: (ABC/Christopher Willard); (ABC/Richard Cartwright); and (ABC/Eric McCandless)

Ali Larter as Dr. Grace Sawyer, a former flame of John’s from his college days. She now works at Shaw Memorial Hospital, and while she and John reconnect as just friends first, they eventually ramp it up to dating.

Harold Perrineau as Detective Nick Armstrong, a new night detective that assists the LAPD with their case load after their regular shifts. He becomes involved more so when notorious serial killer Rosalind Dyer is brought to Grey’s station per a deal with the DA.

Shawn Ashmore as Wesley Evers, a lawyer that is currently dating Angela Lopez. The two have been living together since the start of season 2, and are now engaged as of episode 16.

Jasmine Matthews as Rachel Hall, a social worker who is one of Lucy’s best friends, and currently the girlfriend of Tim Bradford.

Daniel Lissing as Sterling Freeman, Jackson’s boyfriend who’s (ironically? meta-ly?) the star of a cop show, Hot Suspect.

Sarah Shahi as Jessica Russo, who is an FBI agent that was brought in to work a biological terror attack. She and John have a brief relationship, but break it off by episode 6 of season 2.

FORMER CAST (season 1):

Mercedes Mason portrayed Captain Zoe Andersen, who was the tough but fair captain of the LAPD. She believed Nolan’s life experience would be good for the department. She was killed in episode 16 by a gang member who made an attempt on Nolan’s life.

Afton Williamson portrayed Talia Bishop, Nolan’s former training officer. She came off as brash at first, but she did help John a lot during his first six months on the job. She left the LAPD for a job with ATF; Afton exited the series after season 1 ended.

FORMER RECURRING CAST (season 1):

Mircea Monroe as Isabel Bradford, Tim’s ex-wife. She was an undercover officer, but got hooked onto drugs which made her lose her job, and consequently, her husband. Tim tried to help her numerous times, but they’d been estranged for a year. She did finally get clean; but they decided it’d be best to separate, as Tim did not want to remind her of her old life.

Michael Beach as Commander Percy West, Jackson’s father who runs Internal Affairs for the LAPD. He and his son had their tough moments, but the two seemed to have reconciled in the season 1 finale after Jackson’s heroic efforts to stop a viral criminal.

*random fun fact: Mekia’s not the only one with a One Chicago tie-in. Alyssa Diaz actually worked with Chicago PD actor Jesse Lee Soffer on As the World Turns, and Michael Beach actually just finished a recurring role on Chicago PD as Darius Walker. Joelle Carter, who portrayed Shawn Christian’s character’s wife in the “Hawke” episode, has been on not one, but 3 One Chicago shows. Two of which portraying Laura Nagel (Chicago PD for 1 episode, and the spinoff Chicago Justice); she guested on Chicago Med this year.

Just wanted to toss that tidbit in there since quite a few fans of The Rookie have also been fans of the One Chicago franchise – at least that I’ve interacted with on social media!

Reason #2: The balance of dramatic cases with humorous banter between the officers

(ABC/Ron Batzdorff)

While The Rookie is no means a straight comedy, it’s also not technically a classic police procedural either. That’s a good thing, as the balance of the lighter comedic moments interspersed with the dramatic or sometimes gruesome cases is what makes the show so damn entertaining. Oh, and did I mention there are bloopers? Because there are bloopers, and they are hilarious. Click here & here to see those!!

Reason #3: The pairs (TOs & Rookies)

(ABC/Ron Batzdorff)

Ah yes, another reason why The Rookie works so well. The pairings of the training officers with their respective rookie is spot-on. In season 1 you had the new, upbeat, John Nolan paired with spunky Talia Bishop; and the two bounced off each other quite nicely. John’s new TO, Nyla Harper, is just as sassy, if not sassier than Talia, but in a way, she’s a little more grounded, as she has a young daughter to consider. That’s something they have in common, as John has a 20 year old son, Henry.

(ABC/Christopher Willard)

Another pair is Angela Lopez and Jackson West. Sure, you would think: oh, here are two ambitious, young, intelligent people, so they should feed off each other, right? Wrong…at least not at first. And that’s what was so refreshing about it. Was that you had the push-and-pull between them that made you wonder if West could really stick it out with Lopez. He eventually did get over his “stage fright” when gunfire was occurring, but it took time; and it was realistic to see Angela be tough, yet understanding with him when it came to things like that. Not to mention, Jackson’s helped her out on the relationship front a few times, as he’s listened to her issues with dating, and Wesley. He even was the one who put the idea of a proposal in her head when they were at a stakeout! The two are really jiving, and it’s fun to see!

(ABC/Christopher Willard)

Last but not least is the duo of Bradford and Chen. They couldn’t be more opposite from each other at first glance: you’ve got tough-as-nails Tim, who’s got to train positive, spirited Lucy. Sounds like a little bit of a clash, right? It seemed like it at first, as Tim was very tough on Lucy; but he’s since let down his guard a little, which has been cool to see. He’s balanced out Lucy’s energy, and the two have since been so in-sync, it’s a little crazy at times (but in the best way possible)!

Reason #4: The “ships” (couples) of the show

(ABC/Christopher Willard)

Image Credit: Twitter/TheRookie

Image Credit: IG @TheRookieABC.

(ABC/Christopher Willard)

Image Credit: IG @TheRookieABC

Ah yes, the part that a lot of fans (myself included!) love about our favorite TV shows: the couples that pair off in it! It’s also worth mentioning that fans usually get excited about “should be” couples aka: people that they think should be together/dating/a couple/etc.

As far as The Rookie goes, there are actually quite a few well-established couples on the show, especially in season 2! If you need or want a quick season 1 refresher: Tim was technically still married to his now ex-wife, Isabel; Jackson had a brief relationship with Gino; Angela and Wesley had begun dating; and yes, John & Lucy had a brief thing early on!

Now, for season 2, you’ve got: Jackson & Sterling; Tim & Rachel; Wesley & Angela; John & Grace (John was previously dating Jessica); aaaaaaand the fan-favorite should-be couple: Tim & Lucy. The final “couple” is actually how I got hooked onto The Rookie – thank you social media for all the #Chenford/#Tucy hashtags!!

Most everyone loves these relationships because they’re fun, endearing, dramatic, and sometimes even a little bit funny. It’s quite a nice counterbalance to all the death and destruction the LAPD encounters on the streets everyday, you know? Plus, who hasn’t found a couple on a show that they like a lot, right? It’s fun to interact with other fans about it too – which is part of the reason why “ships” are really effective.

Jackson and Sterling have that lovely push-and-pull dynamic, where, since Sterling’s a celebrity, and Jackson’s a cop, they had to keep it low-key at first. But now, since they’re technically out of the spotlight, they’re free to do as they please.

Tim and Rachel originally began as a bet, but, it turned into something more afterwards. Even though the two have had their little disagreements here and there, it’s been really interesting to see Tim open himself up to a new relationship after his wife in season 1. The fact that Rachel’s one of Lucy’s best friends is…beside the point. Although, for fans of Chenford/Tucy, it’s kind of comical, or ironic. I’m not quite sure which.

Speaking of Chenford, Tim & Lucy are the ones that fans have been clamoring to get together – even though technically, nothing can happen between the two until Lucy’s no longer a rookie (Tim’s her TO!). I’ll admit, I was originally intrigued by them because of their similarities to another “should-be” cop couple I ship: Upstead from Chicago PD; but, seeing how in-sync the partners are on The Rookie, I understand why everyone wants them to be more than that. I sure do!

Wesley and Angela have been steady since season 1, and his heartbreaking PTSD storyline in season 2 only brought them closer together, and showed just how strong of a relationship they have. Angela’s been super supportive, and Wesley’s always been confident in her abilities. They’re even the couple to beat in terms of major milestones: they’ve moved in together, and they’re engaged! YAY!

John and Grace were a little bit of a wildcard at the start, since they had a little bit of a history there. But, ever since they blossomed into friends, their transition into a relationship was relatively easy. It’s been nice to see John happy, and Grace seems to be really good for him right now.

Reason #5: The vibe behind the scenes

(ABC/Troy Harvey)

Last, but not least is the “vibe” behind the scenes of The Rookie. That includes the off-set antics the cast gets up to! It’s been really fun to scour social media and see their comments on not only The Rookie account, but on fan things too! The cast is also great about liking comments and posts that fans make, which is super-nice!

Not to mention, they’re just genuinely fun people – at least judging from their behind the scenes posts and on-set videos! From car sing-a-longs to random dance parties, there’s never a dull moment on The Rookie set! They’re such good sports. Not only does that camaraderie come through onscreen, but it helps the chemistry to translate nicely as well. Believability is part of what sells TV, and The Rookie has that skill down pat!

Bonus: Favorite Episodes So Far / Ones To Watch

Image Credits: (ABC/Richard Cartwright) and (ABC/Christopher Willard)

Note: this is just my own personal list, but if you have any more to add, feel free to comment! 🙂 PS: Season 2 is available for streaming on ABC.com or Hulu; season 1 is not, but there are a bevy of clips online (YouTube) which can help catch you up!

The Pilot, of course! 1×01, and then the kind-of-sort-of subsequent follow-up 1×02 “Crash Course”

1×04 “The Switch”

1×07 “The Ride Along” & 1×08 “Time of Death”

1×14 “Plain Clothes Day” and 1×15 “Manhunt”

1×19 “The Checklist” and 1×20 “Free Fall” (the season 1 finale)

2×01 “Impact” (picks up right after season 1 leaves off!)

2×03 “The Bet” and 2×04 “Warriors and Guardians” (which is Mekia’s debut!)

2×06 “Fallout” and 2×08 “Clean Cut”

2×10 “The Dark Side” and 2×11 “Day of Death” *you should definitely watch these back-to-back, as 2×10 serves as the midseason finale; 2×11 is the midseason premiere*

2×12 “Now and Then”; 2×16 “The Overnight”; and 2×17 “Control”

That’s all for me for now! 5 (or 6, if you count the dramatic episodes!) reasons to watch The Rookie! You can catch all-new episodes on ABC, Sunday nights at 10/9 c! Be sure you’re following the show on Twitter and/or Instagram so you can see fun behind the scenes content, not to mention live-tweet during tomorrow’s all-new episode! Hope ya’ll liked this post!

Credit: GIPHY/Google

Why You Should Be Watching #TheRookie (if you're not already!) I love this job more than I imagined I could. The day I stop giving it my all is the day I walk away."

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

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Justice League Task Force #1 (1993)

Martian Manhunter looks like he's doing the most painful Boob/Butt Showcase ever attempted.

I know J'onn J'onzz's entire body is supposed to be facing forward on this cover but it really looks like he's turning all the way around at the waist. If there's any character that could successfully do that, it's Elongated Man. And also Martian Manhunter. So I'm less worried about J'onn's stance than I am about Gypsy's torso. Unless it's her ass that's the problem. Maybe the entire problem with this cover is simply Sal Velluto. This seems to be the only issue of this series that I own. That's good because the cover art by Sal is not promising. Also, I don't recognize any of the names in the creative team. Was this one of those "Let's give some new talent a project nobody at DC really cares about" kind of deals? It would seem that way judging by the roster. Even though Martain Manhunter was the backbone of the Justice League for many years, he's still kind of a nobody, nothing, bottom-of-the-barrel hero. And Gypsy?! You can't even say her name anymore without somebody canceling your shit. I don't have any complaints about The Flash because I have to save them for the members of the team on the back cover.

Ugh. Aquaman and Nightwing! The worst! Even worse than those two in the corner, Amanda Waller's younger sister and Alfred Hitchcock in a toupee.

Some of you younger jerks might not remember a time when Nightwing sucked. He fucking suuuuuuuucked. The absolute worst. He was like when you're wearing boxers and the tip of your dick pops out of the pee gateway and starts rubbing on the inside of your Levi's. He was like when you take a shit and you feel the loss of the turd's momentum right at the end and you just know you're going to have a huge hanger and probably a good inch or two of shit still up in your asshole which you'll be dealing with for the rest of the day. He was like when you're a guy and having a really good sex dream and suddenly you realize it's a dream and if you complete the act, you're going to have a huge mess to clean up and then you wake up because your brain is all "I don't want to clean up the mess!" but you're all, "You stupid brain! I was getting laid!" Man, he was just awful. And Aquaman was worse! This issue is called "The Tyranny Gun" and I'm pretending I understand that. I'm just nodding my head and enthusiastically saying out loud, "Yeah! Yeah! A gun! That shoots tyranny! Get fucked, motherfuckers!"

I get that J'onn J'onzz is probably an approximation of his real Martian name but I wouldn't call it "convenient." John Jones is his convenient name!

Martian Manhunter has been tracking down French separatist terrorists who want Quebec to secede from Canada. Yeah, okay, 1993. What an innocent time! This plot sounds like the plot of a slapstick comedy. The French version of Stripes. Why the fuck would a bunch of French people want Quebec to secede from Canada?! As if it's not already practically France anyway! I'm sure they're angry that some people fuse English words with French words, sullying their perfect fucking language. I'd be more apt to believe the Dungeon & Dragons Club in my junior high school had been running dog fights after school. You might be thinking, "That's not that ludicrous!" But then you didn't see the absolute nerds in my Dungeons and Dragons club.

I don't know why that one kid's face was blacked out by the Year Book Staff. Maybe he was so handsome he made the other guys feel bad. Or maybe...maybe he was the lead guy running the dog fights?!

As Martian Manhunter is roughing up the Quebecois terrorists, he thinks, "'Politically correct' murder." What does that even mean?! Is he suggesting French Canadians think it's okay to murder as long as you murder somebody who isn't French? Does he think Canadians murdering is politically correct? Trying to parse that statement is reminding my brain what it was like to read an Ann Nocenti script. Martian Manhunter pats himself on the back (which he can do because he has every super power in the book including Plastic Man arms) for stopping the French terrorists. He's proud that in a world with little justice, he can provide some of his own. I mean, sure! It's easy to create justice when you're the only one you have to consult in the justicing of things. Technically, I think that's called authoritarianism. But I suppose if enough people can agree that what you did without any input from anybody else at all was a decent thing, you can get away with doing it over and over again. Like Superman and sort of like Batman. I say "sort of like Batman" because I think a lot of people hate the way Batman acts and Batman just doesn't give a fuck. Meanwhile, some government types in Washington need a new Suicide Squad. But different! One composed of heroes that don't ask too many questions instead of dangerous criminals who do ask lots of questions but also know that they can have their heads blown off at any second. They need these heroes to help keep a leader of an allied nation in power. The leader has a habit of murdering political rivals so the United States doesn't want to be seen helping him. So they need a covert team of super heroes to defend the bastard. I guess those heroes will be Martian Manhunter (because he doesn't really understand Earth's ways and if you point out he's creating justice, he'll jump at the chance), Aquaman (because he needs the money), Nightwing (because he needs to prove he can make it on his own without Batman), The Flash (because he's kind of dumb, especially when it comes to politics), and Gypsy (because she can hide well, I guess).

The comic includes a Justice League Task Force membership card which I never filled out and removed.

You can tell I didn't buy into this whole government Justice League bullshit because I didn't fill out the card and stick it in my wallet for years. And I didn't not do it because I was 21 at the time! I carried around my Elfquest Fan Club card and my Wizardry Baltec's Trading Post charge card from Wizardry IV until the day I stopped carrying a wallet that closes with Velcro (that was probably in my late mid-twenties!). Hannibal, the Alfred Hitchock in a toupee looking guy from the back cover, is the man chosen to lead the Justice League Task Force. He approaches Martian Manhunter by walking into his apartment uninvited. Martian Manhunter, knowing that every cop is just looking for an excuse to shoot him with a flamethrower, acts like it's no big deal that this guy intruded on his privacy. Hannibal tells Martian Manhunter that the government needs a strike force that could save millions of lives and Martian Manhunter blurts out, "Justice!" Then he composes himself and he's all, "I'm probably in. But tell me about it first. And don't lie! I'll know if you're lying! I have all the super powers, remember!" Meanwhile in London, Justice League Europe are fighting a sewer dinosaur.

I've eaten enough sandwiches in a dark room to know Dr. Light is wrong.

Sometimes I'll read a comic book like Watchmen or The Sandman and proudly think, "This is why I read comic books!" And other times, I scan a panel of Dr. Light bending over so that you can see her lady package and I shamefully think, "This is why I read comic books!" Dr. Light is upset that Justice League Europe eventually has to kill the sewer dinosaur. But Flash is all, "It killed a bunch of people! No one ever said being a hero was full-time fun." (The second sentence of that quote is exact. I know I used quotes so you would think the entire thing was exact. But I like to embellish sometimes.) So according to The Flash, killing people for justice isn't fun. He should get that message across to American gun owners. They're all salivating looking for an excuse to murder somebody.

It's canon! Aquaman smells like shit!

Hannibal calls up Justice League Europe and he's all, "Martian Manhunter needs Aquaman and The Flash for a UN sanctioned mission!" But The Flash, who I thought would be the easiest pushover, is all, "I don't like being told what to do and just going to do it! What are we, a bunch of trained monkeys?" (Again, the second sentence is an actual quote!) But Aquaman is all, "You said it yourself! This isn't always fun. If we're needed for a vague mission where we're doing the work of the United States Government to protect the interests of shadowy men and multi-billion dollar corporations, who are we to refuse?" And The Flash is all, "You're right! Well argued! I am a trained monkey! Let's go!" Martian Manhunter recruits Gypsy in the middle of a shopping spree that's totally not a racist stereotype at all. I don't think. Maybe it is. It was 1993! Nobody knew gypsy was a slur even though if you somebody said "gypsy," everybody in the room would immediately picture the exact stereotype. You'd think we would have realized how that's like the epitome of being racist. It really made it tough on young lazy girls to put together a quick Halloween costume when everybody realized how terrible we all were. At least as a guy, we were able to get away with being hobos and tramps a little bit longer! Gypsy agrees to work on the Task Force because she needs money and a place to stay and maybe a new moniker. The team decides they're ready to go because they can't get Batman. But that's when Nightwing comes in through the balcony window and says, "Will I do?!" And everybody goes, "Aww. Batman would have dropped through the skylight!" Nobody wants to work with Nightwing because he's not in the Justice League. But Hannibal is all, "Oh, you're working with him! And that's not the only thing you're not going to like to hear! Because your job is to protect a despot and a tyrant! You need to make sure a bunch of people on some shitty island keep their terrible living conditions!" Gypsy, Martian Manhunter, The Flash, and Aquaman all make sour faces and do face palms. But Nightwing is all, "Yes! Let's do this! Suck it, Batman!" Justice League Task Force #1 Rating: C. It's as average as a comic book about a super hero group doing the terrible work of the government. I suppose that isn't always average since Suicide Squad was really good. But then they weren't heroes and they were forced to go on terrible missions. So that's why that worked. I don't see how forcing Justice League members to do terrible things in the name of the United States government is a good idea for a book. That's probably why I never purchased Issue #2!

#Justice League Task Force #DC COmics #DC #Martian Manhunter #Gypsy #The Flash #Nightwing #Aquaman #David Michilinie #Sal Velluto #Jeff Albrecht

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rpmemedumpster · 5 years

Text

Unraveled: Absurdly Comprehensive Game Lore Starters (pt.2)

Feel free to change pronouns/phrasing

Understanding Kingdom Hearts (and every other story):

“You sweet summer child. You babe swaddled in the cashmere blanket of ignorance.”

“YOU ASK TOO LITTLE OF ME.”

“Crossing the threshold. Or as true literary critics call it…boarding the gummi ship.”

“That’s a supreme ordeal.”

“That was pretty painless, don't you think?”

“What do you mean nope?”

“Once you've got that boy under your possession, time to get real into unethical science.”

“And now that you're jazzed and ready to go, time to fail.”

“You do have to fail once, uh, in order to succeed later as a villain.”

“Guess what? It's time travel time.”

“You're either gonna win, or you're gonna lose.”

Bowser’s Military Hierarchy:

“They come to me in my dreams like a prophet receiving visions from an angry god.”

“Knowledge is its own reward.”

“God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished.”

“LOOK AT THIS GALOOMBA!”

“What better way to show your dedication than to be literally shot from a cannon?”

“You can learn more about them in the HBO series, Band of Brothers. I assume. I've never watched the show.”

“They're all pretty much invincible and they will crush you without hesitation.”

“Mario is a war criminal.”

“He already feels bashful!You didn't need to pants the man!”

“Mario has committed at least 5 war crimes.”

The Perfect PokeRap:

“Now that that’s out of your system, I do need absolute silence.”

“Today, my peers will stop laughing at me. Today, they will start seeing me as a person who is worthwhile. Not someone who, in the words of my mother, puts “a lot of research into things that have very little meaning."”

“Thank you for your service.”

“ Look, magnificent goals are worth the challenges it takes to reach them. You want to know where I learned that tasty morsel? From the original PokéRap.”

“My favorite Pokémon was Tangela. It's just a tumbleweed and some Jordans. What's not to love?”

“Things are only worth doing if you do them the most.”

“He, and I quote, said that he wanted me to give up something I loved. Which is legitimately a wild thing for an 8-year-old to request.”

“He could be in jail. HE CERTAINLY DESERVES TO BE.”

“I just tried to do some JoJo poses, did it work?”

“Now this might seem a little bit harsh, but that’s because you are viewing it through nostalgia goggles, and over the next five minutes I'm gonna take those off your face and replace them with the pragmatic transitions lenses of reality.”

“The rhymes. The flow. Are bad.”

“The only difference between me and a mid-2000s suburban mother is a few more trips to Nordstroms.”

“I'll go on the record: I am not a rapper.”

“It's kind of like if I bought 12 IKEA cabinets and then I used the pieces to build a Gundam.”

“Technically, I’m not wrong, okay?”

“If you're gonna put me on blast, yes, I did musical theatre in high school, but I don't think that counts for much, I didn't do much after that.”

“They will fight to the death for your entertainment.”

“That’s right....INTERPRETIVE DANCE.”

“Why catch them all if you can’t keep the ones that you love?”

Which Dark Souls boss is the best manager?:

“I know how much it would disappoint my friends if I changed my appearance.”

“I'm not your friend, and you have no say over what I do with my body.”

“Have you ever thought about the term Boss in a video game before? Those terrible enemies have the same title as the people you’ll be working for, for the rest of your life! Haha, what a silly coincidence!”

“Let’s be honest, some really well-loved bosses are very bad leaders, and some really good leaders are SKEEZY AS HELL.”

“I booked the conference room for three, I need to get in there.”

“Manipulation gets you pretty far in business.”

“He nasty.”

“All of his plans sound more like schemes, BUT! He does know the bassist for Maroon 5 and they've been looking for someone with like really good hand dexterity and he's noticed that you've got something good so if you want-”

“Dude, not everything has to be a test. This is a Game Stop.”

“He's the type of guy who sends you an NSFW link at work and then reports you for clicking on it.”

“They are a power couple...that isn't sanctioned by HR. They didn't fill out the paperwork. It makes everyone very uncomfortable. There is a LOT of PDA and it is weird.”

“Dude, you gotta wear more than a loincloth to work.”

“Y'all, we have leftover shirts from the softball game, can you just go into the bathroom and put one of those on, please?”

“GET OUT OF THE HOT TUB!”

“You KNOW that this psych major is gonna replace you as soon as he graduates Yale.”

“Under no circumstances should you be in a work setting and described as GAPING.”

“Do it for the Duke!”

“I fully expect my boss to put me out of my misery when I stop being useful.”

“They constantly revive the other one when they die, and that's a good boss. Also, relationship goals.”

“The best boss is you. And all of your dead friends.”

“Hey, yo, can I gape in here?”

#starters #rp starters #roleplay starters #sentence meme #sentence starters #comedy #humor #crack #one more part left here we go

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