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#critiques
honuofhawaii · 6 months
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So I just finished the Stormlight Archive, and I love it! It’s awesome, great world building, interesting magic system, lovable interesting character. However, something I’ve noticed sometimes, emotional beats are skipped over and only mentioned to have been dealt with retroactively. Some examples:
Spoilers through Rhythm of War
In RoW:
We don’t see Shallan’s reunion with Testament. We only see after.
In the same chapter we find out that at some point Adolin and Shallan find out that Uratheru was invaded, occupied, and then freed.
At the trial we find out that Adolin knew about Kaladin’s near betrayal. I assume that means all the Kholin’s know, but when and how? Did Elhokar know that there was a time his hero really believed the world would be better off without him?
This one I get bc of the time jump btw Oathbringer and Rhythm of War, but Adolin and Renarin finding out that Dalinor killed their mother Evi.
Maybe it’s just me but I think Kal deserved some more awe and excitement from his friends at achieving the fourth ideal?
Again this happened in the time jump but a more full reunion btw Kaladin and his family. Bc we get one in Oathbringer, but like that’s kinda a “hi, Im alive, I’m a radiant, there’s a new desolation, gotta go”, verses where they are at the beginning of RoW. There’s definitely be a good bit of contact since then.
In Oathbringer:
Had Gavinor returned in time for the wedding, why do we only see Kal’s relief that he’s alive? I would have liked to see the Kholin’s’.
Speaking of Kholin reunion’s we only hear about. Jasna and Navani!!!
We completely skip over Kal being locked up again first with friends and then on his own, away from Syl who’s also locked up.
Oh, and I feel like we deserve a conversation between Shallan and Kaladin about Helarand.
This is not a full missing beat, but it would have been nice to see Adolin and Shallan’s wedding. We see the abbreviated heretical ceremony for Dalinor and Navani l, and I think it would have been an interesting contrast to see the tradition ceremony Adolin and Shallan probably had. (On a side note I love that Kal gave Shallan boots, that’s hilarious, but now I do want to know what he gave Adolin)
In Words of Radiance
I feel like it would have been good to see Elhokar mourn his sister.
Adolin’s POV after Shallan and Kal fall into the chasm.
Kal getting through his first proximity to Amoram unless he just avoided him…but I don’t know! We don’t see it, we aren’t even told what he did when he saw Dalinar talking to Amoram. We only know that Amoram doesn’t recognize Kal until after the duel.
Anyway I can’t remember any specific ones in TWoK, but im sure there are some.
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sambeawesome · 6 months
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A few reasons why artists tend to prefer you asking before you give unsolicited critiques
-We typically already have a trusted circle of people to go to who are familiar with our work, goals, interests, and issues. Those people can often help us more specifically.
-This includes the artist having any mentors whose guidance they may be following.
-The art may be of a personal nature/commission, so it could feel like a boundary is crossed.
-W/ ⬆️: the artist might not want their client to see people pointing out mistakes. (least in public)
-The artist might also not want to improve (which is valid), and thus critique is pointless to them.
-Unsolicited critiques often come from people who are not skilled in delivering critiques, and thus word them in unhelpful or rude ways. "This looks off" = not helpful.
I know this is the internet & people are gonna people, but for those of you who I can reach with my words: it doesn't hurt to ask first. That way you can also know for certain if your help is desired & more likely heard.
That said, please don't be rude w the artist if they say no/don't follow your advice. Every artist's journey is their own, & in the end, it's their decision on what path they want to take.
Just as an artist is not entitled to crits, you are not entitled to tell us what to do.
tl;dr be nice to each other lol
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neko-loogi · 3 months
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♡︎Mini masterlist♡︎
I'm going to put all my Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel rants and critiques here in this post, to kinda organize them a little bit! Hope this helps!
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( ♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚞𝚝!♡︎ )
➽──────────❥
♡︎Hazbin Hotel♡︎
• ♡︎Hazbin Hotel trailer critique
• ♡︎Angel Dust's song [Poison] critique
• ♡︎Poison visual critique (TW: SA mention)
• ♡︎Overture [S1: Episode 1] critique
• ♡︎Radio Killed the Video Star [S1: Episode 2:] critique
➽──────────❥
♡︎Helluva Boss♡︎
• ♡︎Queen Bee [S1: Episode 8] critique
• ♡︎Unhappy Campers [S2: Episode 5] critique
• ♡︎Oops [S2: Episode 6] critique
• ♡︎Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special (ft. Fizzarolli) [S2: Episode 7] critique
➽──────────❥
♡︎Bonus♡︎
• ♡︎Queen Bee's fan service merch (rant)
• ♡︎Hazbin redesign (Husk) [made by me!]
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• ♡︎Hazbin redesign (Niffty) [made by me!]
• ♡︎Hazbin redesign (Angel Dust) [made by me!]
A/N: I don't like Helluva Boss at all, I absolutely hate this god forsaken show, however I actually like Hazbin Hotel to a certain degree, it's actually more tolerable imo. But that doesn't mean that I'm only going to criticize one of the two, both of these shows are flawed, and I will talk about them whether people like it or not. That doesn't mean I'll talk about them negatively all the time, I will sometimes point out positive stuff about them. But yeah, that's all.
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mangakamen · 7 months
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B) Hey buddies... New helluva boss... New Helluva boss video... Wanna check it out? Wanna see what I have to say? Link below.
youtube
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fandomfuntimem · 28 days
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I had this thought as I listened to a show critique with my dad.
If you're going to critique a show, movie, or really anything involving physical people. Don't personally attack the actors. Don't go after their physical appearance with the intent to insult them, don't go outside the bounds of the show to insult them. Its just petty and hurtful. It also holds nothing to the show itself. If you feel you need to bring up how an actor looks then you need a damn good reason to do so.
The only time i would think it was "ok" (depending on the context there may be more quotations around that ok) is if:
A. You are going outside the bounds of the show because you want to point out the actor is problematic and should not have been given a platform.
B. You only bring up the physical appearance if its because it is insultingly inaccurate. (Like when the Atla movie hired white people to play characters in a very culture themed world.)
Or
C. The character's costume designe is genuinly shit (still. Thats only the costume. Not body build, skin color, or facial structure)
The thing I was listening to was overall mean spirited. Fucker didn't even TRY to find a positive, and as a long time fan of the show he was critiquing the episode he was complaining about wasn't even that bad. Was it greate? No, it had some odd parts. But was it bad enough he should have called one of the actors "The fucking black fat lady"? absolutely fucking not! Hell, she was one of the characters I really liked! She was fun and sweet! How she looked wasn't even part of his critique! He just threw that in there to be a petty little asshole!
Attacking an actor on a personal level for no good reason other than the fact you didn't like the media they were in is shitty. I'm not going to attack Jenna Ortega because I thought the Wednesday show could have been better. I'm not going to attack anyone in the Hellava Boss cast because I didn't like the direction the show took.
I've just been thinking about this for months. I've wanted to make this post but I wasn't sure how to word it till someone talked about a similar topic in my school. I just think it would suck if I got a role in a popular series and someone decided I was bad because of how I looked. Its just hurtful.
Side note: if your "critique" is just you dog piling the creator with no supporting evidence, no counter point to ballance what you have to say, or no constructive criticism. Its not a critique. You're just being hateful. If you see two similar characters and you just decide its lazy writing without looking into WHY these characters are similar, or how it is important to the story, you are no critic.
I cannot speak fact, but you don't need to be a chef to know when your food tastes like shit. Just like how you don't need to be a professional critic to know when someone is just being an asshole. A good argument, is a well constructed one. Not a slew of baseless insults.
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buglover77 · 4 months
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I don’t know who needs to hear this…but being a critic and being an asshole aren’t the same thing. You can think a media has flaws without being mean about it. People who put energy and passion into something harmless shouldn’t be punished for that. To everyone treating the internet like it’s middle school and it’s cool to bully the kid who is excited about something…just shut up.
Wanting something to fail just because you don’t like it is self-centered and sad. The world is bigger than that. There are bigger issues than you hating something someone worked hard on to try and bring a little bit of excitement and happiness to people. 
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rowanwithaz · 6 months
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So,I obviously,sing the praises of Horikoshi's work. I think it's FANTASTIC,and I really have and do enjoy it; but there are still problems with it of course.
I feel like he kinda took forever to make the female characters more relevant and give them development. Don't get me wrong,they're fun and awesome characters,but Hori was a little too focused on developing Izuku and Katsuki's relationship, Todoroki's whole family drama,and the male cast in general that he forgot about the female leads,so,that's why a lot of their development as been kinda crammed in the later chapters.
And that's kinda the problem with Horikoshi's writing,he focuses on one thing and because that thing *cough* GreeNade *cough* has taken a lot of his time,a lot of the other story elements and characters got side lined for a long time,so,now he's trying to put it all together. It feels a little crammed,but that doesn't make it bad,not at all,it's just a flaw in his writing. I'm still enjoying the manga even though it feels a little crammed.
Other than that a lot of it's just my opinion,small little critiques,that don't have too much to do with the overall story.
I wish he would have had shown more of Katsuki's home life,and maybe the reactions of his family when the SLUDGE VILLAIN happened,I kinda feel like because Hori didn't show us much of Katsuki's family it makes Mitsuki feel a little abusive?
I just wish we would had seen more of all the characters' parents,but they aren't the main character so of course we don't see much of their home lives.
That's just personal critiques.
There's more,but,again,they don't mean too much to the overall story and the quality of Horikoshi's writing.
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valerielillis · 5 months
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Full disclaimer.
If feedback doesn't come with suggestions for improvement or is purely opinion based, then it isn't criticism - it's either a compliment, an insult, or an observation.
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gennythewolf · 4 months
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Hey Hey, I'm working on a Funny little webcomic and I'm looking for some Critiques- I'm trying to go for a background that is both quick and easy that will blend with my character style! I have very little experience with backgrounds and so- any opinions and critiques are welcome!
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em-dash-press · 7 months
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Today is a big day for Em Dash Press—I have four critique options available, starting right now!
If you head over to my website, you'll find a menu with four editing services (also known as professional critiques):
A free critique on a flash fiction manuscript (must be based on one of my weekly or monthly writing challenges)
A line-edits-only critique (for a short story you're confident about but want basic grammar/spelling editing before submitting to a contest/publication)
A line-edits-and-developmental-edits critique (for a short story you want help with regarding its overall structure and grammar/spelling)
A first-chapter critique (for a finished draft of the first chapter of your latest novel)
More details are available on each critique page I've linked to! My editing services are more budget-friendly than others I've come across in the past, so hopefully that will help more people access whatever editing help or creative advice they need.
Are any of these services required before you send your work somewhere? No! My blog posts cover the same skills I'll use for any editing requests. These are just available in case anyone wants a second pair of eyes on their work or a bit of professional encouragement/guidance on their specific manuscript.
Send me a message if you have any questions! I can't wait to work with your brilliant minds 💙
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orthodoxicons · 1 year
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47. Give advice to others only when asked to do so or when it is your duty to do so. (This is very important. You don’t go around giving free advice or counsel. If people ask us, we tell them. I was asked, “Father Tom, say some things on Ancient Faith Radio. I say: “Okay, cause you asked me.” So when we’re asked, we can answer. If it’s our duty, if it’s our job—like a parent or a pastor or a supervisor in operation or a teacher—then we must do it. That’s our work. But we never give counsel or advice, unless we’re asked or unless it’s our duty to do so.)
55 Maxims of the Christian Life, Fr. Thomas Hopko
(See the full list of maxims here and here)
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lordascapelion · 3 months
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So I’m nearly done with a round of prose revisions on my novel and was getting ready to query when I got hit with another wave of self-doubt.
I’m looking for some readers to read through the whole thing fresh. I’m way too close to fully know if what I’m worried about is actually a problem, as are a lot of my critique partners.
Name: Pulse Saga
Word count: 101k
Genre: Fantasy, science-fiction, post-apocalyptic, young adult
What?: Looking for someone to read it all the way through as if you were reading for pleasure. Not looking for in-line comments (not that I don’t want those but the purpose of this request is to see how a fresh reader would look at it. End of chapter notes are good, though.)
Comparable media: Took inspiration from 90s JRPGs, anime such as Neon Genesis Evangelion and Gundam, has some feel of stuff like Fire Emblem. Probably My Hero Academia (but only if you don’t think it’s cringe.)
Do you like mixes of magic and technology? Super powered kids fighting biomechanical monsters? Dark sorcerers? Young people trying to make sense of a dangerous world and questioning their up upbringing and authority figures?
If that’s something you might be interested in, DM me. I can send you a back-of-the-book summary if you want one but don’t want to post it publicly.
Thanks friends
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ellebellle · 1 month
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Peer Review Week
I think that  the idea of a peer review week is great. I am a little concerned about responding to posts, however, because I want to give people a lot of advice if I can but I don’t want to overwhelm anyones feed. How exactly are we supposed to share this information with each other? Do you want us to just post segments onto tumblr or should we share with other individuals in the class? And if we are sharing our projects with other, specific, people in the class, how are we doing this? Will there be a discussion board on D2L for us to utilize? @npfannen
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jefaiscequejepeux · 1 year
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Des films à l’affiche à conseiller ?
Avant toute chose je dois te dire que l'autre fois je vagabondais d'un tumblr à l'autre et à un moment je suis tombée sur le tien et il me semblait t'avoir déjà parlé mais c'était très vague et en vérifiant ça j'ai vu que le dernier message que je t'avais envoyé c'était ça
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et il n'y a quasi rien avant et rien après donc je sais pas trop c'était quoi mon problème en 2015 mais vraiment pardon mdr
Ensuite, merci pour ta question !! Et voilà les derniers films que j'ai vus et mon avis dessus :
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Armageddon Time : j'ai apprécié sur le moment mais pas plus que ça et j'ai immédiatement oublié l'existence de ce film une fois sortie de la salle, donc pas ouf mais pas nul du tout non plus.
Reste un peu : alors je m'attendais à ce que ce soit un peu naze mais franchement c'était cool, j'ai passé un bon moment, j'ai ri à plein de moments et ça soulève mine de rien pas mal de questions sur les religions que j'ai trouvées intéressantes.
Fumer fait tousser : du coup j'en ai déjà parlé dans un autre post mais j'ai passé un très bon moment j'ai beaucoup ri même si c'est très très con, j'adore les petits clins d'oeil aux spectateurs de la salle de cinéma qu'il y a souvent dans les films de Dupieux.
Les miens : le gros problème de ce film c'est sa bande-annonce qui en révèle beaucoup trop, je trouve qu'une fois qu'on a vu la bande annonce on a tout vu en fait donc c'est dommage. Sinon y a des scènes qui sonnent un peu faux je trouve j'y croyais pas trop. Mais je dois avouer qu'il y a aussi quelque scènes qui m'ont franchement touchée et que j'ai trouvées très justes donc bon débrouillez-vous avec ça mdr.
Annie Colère : j'ai beaucoup aimé !! J'ai trouvé le début du film très dur (mais nécessaire) j'étais en mode ok plus jamais je ken de ma vie moi finito les conneries. Mais au final j'ai trouvé très chouette ce film qui mêle l'histoire de l'année précédant le vote de la loi Veil avec l'histoire de l'émancipation d'une femme et ça m'a beaucoup touchée.
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certainlynotasimp · 10 months
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Hi, have you thought about using “arañita” instead of “pequeña araña?” Adding “ita” or “ito” to a Spanish word adds “small” to its meaning. “Arañita” = “pequeña araña” and sounds more natural and rolls off the tongue better.
Hello~✨ and thank you for bringing this up! I’m not fluent in Spanish and I do use google translate for the Spanish in my works so I’m ignorant to stuff like this.
Thank you for for giving me something that will work better for the future and I appreciate you taking time to showing me easier ways of typing out your beautiful language!
🫶🫶🫶🫶
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starryduckpond · 1 year
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Re: Your last post - Another thing that bothered me in DT17 was that Fenton was suddenly part of Team Darkwing. He seems like yet another sidekick of DW's, which makes Launchpad feel less special.
Thanks for the ask! This is a spectacular point that made me want to organize my thoughts. ♡
DT17 skewed nearly all the characters by making so many unnecessary changes and switcheroos.
Fenton in DT '87 was a poor man who had an amazing knack for counting and a wholly unmatched weird zest for life. His mom was a single mother who was depressed and left by a verbally (at least) abusive man. Fenton accidentally steals the suit, and then proceeds to roll with this opportunity to be somebody! He learns to be a hero on the go. He makes believable mistakes, like accidentally dropping the manual in a villain's car and forgetting about it because he outsmarted them at the moment.
Fenton '17 is none of the above. He's someone who wants to make a change for the greater good and calmly does things the proper way, like reading the Gizmo suit instructions and practicing them in secret. This cautious sensibility is then forgotten and he posts vital details about the suit online, because plot needs to happen.
While a reboot pretty much guarantees that characters will be different since writers, artists and the time period is different, the extent to which DT17 swapped backstories and generally made characters interchangeable is... pretty infuriating, lol.
Fenton is a hero who vies for change but is unsure on how to do so and was inspired by Launchpad.
Drake is a hero who vies for change but is unsure on how to do so and was inspired by Launchpad.
Mrs. Beakley used to be a feminine civilian character who's now a spy in this rendition.
Gandra Dee used to be a feminine civilian character who's now a spy in this rendition.
The variety of characters in the slice of life duck show with magical elements is gone!
They tried to sprinkle in dustings of the old personalities, but it's just not believable. Drake Mallard is completely smoothed out (metaphorically and literally), but then they insert his self-absorbed tendencies at random times.
OG Fenton and Drake's bond was impeccable. The writers really played around with the hilarities of having alter-egos and having to deal with each other civilly and heroically. They weren't really 'friends' in either stage. It makes sense, because at their core, Darkwing can't get along with a big-name hero because of his jealousy, and Drake can't get along with a loud, uncouth guy who was suddenly invited by Launchpad to stay over.
DT17 has the awkward "friends as civvies, one-sided rivalry as heroes." It's so weird to see Drake be positive with Fenton and then be either oblivious or delusional (depending on your interpretation) about Gizmo for no reason.
What they should have done is keep the stories separated. (This now brings up another flaw-- the kids being included in everybody else's story arc.)
Fenton becomes Gizmo on his own, and deals with his obstacles that lead to the heroic lugnut we all know and love.
Launchpad's interest in Darkwing should have been unique, and not just regarding an old fictional show. We should have been able to see LP's process of building the Thunderquack, and the gradual process of him moving to St. Canard.
Then you can have Gizmo and Darkwing meet later, and gradually show us how they fall into the role of heroic rivals! The fact that this series wasn't episodic like the old one was an edge it did not take advantage of.
Ducktales 2017 had the bad habit of including an element and not elaborating on how it began except for pointing over to the original series. Being Meta =/= Storytelling. Listing tropes and describing them in-universe is not being clever.
I'm so disappointed that it fell so short of what it could have been by trying to do so much at once.
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