#cry muself to sleep

[miutonium]

I didnt want to get rusty and I wanted to play with lighting more :3

Also full version undercut hehe

I actually dk what to draw them but i just want to draw them full body?? Do you guys have that issue where you just want to draw your ship but also you dk what to draw them? This is me for a while now hhhh where has my energy and creativity gone?? _(:3」∠)_

I intended to draw him in his white dress but like I just want to see him in red again and i remembered how good he looks in red lol

#also very proud of muself for finishing a commission today so i have 2 more to go yeayy #im trying to finish it before school starts in 2 weeks wish me luck #i havent feel good about my art in a while i kinda like the end result here haha #okay i am going to sleep and cry now #asukart #selfship #selfshipping #selfshipping community #selfship community #selfship art #self insert oc #self insert #self insert community #oc #oc x canon #si x canon #ppg professor #professor utonium #waffles and wishes on Wednesday 🧇

[steampoweredskeleton]

Ignore

#delete later #nearly 3am abd ny useless body sches and aches and will not let ke sleep #im so tired #i hsvent slept kore thsn 5 hours in theee dayd and this is evej worse #please let ke sleep im going to cry #nothing id workinh but im too exhausted to even get up #i cany focus to let muself driff off bc im too tired now

[somethingxlittle]

OKAY IMAGINE DEAN GOING ALL THESE YEARS THINKING CAS WONT EVER LOVE HIM BACK BECAUSE HE PHYSICALLY CAN'T BUT CAS PROVING HIM SO WRONG

I JUST I-

#i am about to pass out #and cry #cry muself to sleep #like #WHAT THE HELL #UGH these IDIOTS #god dammit #destiel #destiel canon #dean winchester #cas #castiel #spn #spn s15 #spn spoilers #supernatural #deancas

[lyutsival]

I miss when I hadn't watched banana fish yet and saw this thought he was shocked because he was hugged by surprise or something 😄👍 I am not fine

#im sorry #banana fish #bananafish #i cry muself to sleep today #pain

[kyunie]

tumblr user @goddamnmp3 is reason for the teardrops on my guitar

#changlex playlist ...... #the songs u chose too ... *wails* #and the gifs ... hes adorable actually ... #i would luv to hear the thought process of why u picked these songs ..... #also i love the idea!!! so excited to see what other playlists u come out with #alex.png #the moon analogies im going to go cry muself back to sleep

[nimoy]

:(

#want 2 cry muself 2 sleep even tho its not even 8:30 #tp

[love-order-chaos-repeat]

.

#honestly just fuck everything #i feel so unheard and hurt #i dont deserve to be treated like that #i tried to communicate #and i recognize all these other things jusy #whatever #ill cry muself to sleep its fine #im not even afforded kindness

[xostrawberry-milkyox]

(Relating to one of your recent posts with toki and tama)

Ok but imagine being Gintoki's s/o and just doing basic and domestic things with him, babbling about your day, about work or school, what happened this week, the newest gossip your mother told you about your family and every banal thing that comes to your mind. And him just looking at you and smiling softly to himself because wow you're real, how did he get so lucky? And what's this funny feeling in his chest? He feels so comfortably warm, and finally and fully at peace and that only because you're simply there, next to him, being yourself.

(*crying muself to sleep* ok I'll shut up now lol)

How dare you anon I was already emotional thinking about that panel. Now you have to add being his s/o into the mix. 😭😭😭

Ok but to add on to this...

Imagine one of those rare moments where he's able to voice how much these small moments mean to him. His s/o finishes talking about whatever it was and ask if there's anything on his mind.

He just kind of sits there for a minute until he finally admits, "I really enjoy just listening to your voice." When they ask what he means by that, even he's somewhat surprised because wait did he say that out loud?

He brushes it off and tries to change the subject because not only is he unsure about how to describe these emotions, but if he should be feeling these emotions. That tiny voice still haunts him. That he's better off keeping a comfortable distance.

He loves and cares for those close to him, but there's always been things he hides for the sake of making everyone around him happy. He just wants to see their smile, not worry about him.

It's not until his s/o also admits "I'm really glad you told me this. I love listening to you ramble about anything as well." "Anything?" "Yes, anything." is when he finally realizes. It's okay to open up and them hearing his troubles isn't necessarily a bad thing.

#help #i'm emotional #gintama #sakata gintoki #gintama headcanons #sakata gintoki headcanons #thanks for the ask! #anonymous

[bisluthq]

who do you think taylor is talking about in nothing new ? like yeah herself and but then shes like ill see her and cry muself to sleep. her kid?

I do like the theory that it’s about Olivia R but also not just her imo - she’s saying bright young things that are mini hers are upsetting in a way because it reminds her she’s nothing new.

#nat talks tay’s red

[series-of-bad-ideas-deactivated]

time to fucking cry muself to sleep

nights fuckers

[buildingnothingoutofsomething]

my mom is like i cry muself to sleep bc of uyo sometimes like damn . thats crazy

#its very funny that only one child in this family turned out normal and that was my sister ❤️ #mother mention

[lilhwahwa]

Got 4/5 on that English exam,,, gonna cry muself to sleep bye

[biollsprite]

I'm really heckn sad and want to curl into myself and never think about anything ever again bc I'm never going to be OK with myself I'm a right cunt. I can't deal with anything, minor bad things make me borderline suicidal, I want to hurt myself so often and nothing is going to change I'm always going to be like this I'm going to end up like my dad and be hated by everyone and they would be right they would see what's true about me I'm a Peice of shit and no one deserves to have to put up with me

I've run out of fucking tags and I'm getting worse this isn't a good thing to be writing but oh well welcome to the thought stream fuckos I'm

I'm done I'm.going to sleep like this I can't be bothered anymore

I'll probe fine by morning don't get worried if u message me and I don't reply I'm fine I'm just being dramatic I'm not even that bad I'm making things worse it ny fault I'm shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shri shri shit shit shit sgtjs ksbfv free jackal AHHHHHHHHHHHH NOTJING JS RIGHT NITHING IS RIGHT NITHING WILL EVER BE RIGHT I'm done with being awake rn I'll probably delete this later I'm sorry I'm sorry this is shit and bad shit shit shit sorry

#ahhhhhhhhhhh #whyyyy #ive had a nice day #whyy nooowww #i dont want to mkve but i need to get into pajamas and turn off lights #but i dont wnat to do that bc that means sleep and that means not good #thinking and shit #and i dont wnat tk turn off lights bc my brain is shit #and ill probabky freak muself out #i love the dark but not rn #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #and i dont want to cjange bc that means moving #and also needing tl sleep #im.so uncomfortable rn #heck #my fam.is never gonna be even 80% suportibw of me and im saadd #im so sad but on the outside i look normal #im so sad that it physically hirts #and i cant even cry #and i feel anxious evem thoigj IM COMPLEATLY FUCKING ALONE about my facial expression #so i xant even.look sad rn #i want to die #i wnat to stop #cant even fucking type #im not im danger of hueting myself rn #things are downstairs #i keep the screwdriver in the kitchen for moods like this so i dont use the pencil sharpener in my room #i cabt make too mich noise either #i just cant be bothered anymkre #everyhting is just going tk get harder and my fam is never going to suplort me the way i need and im never going to be happy with myself

[lonelyrollingst4r]

4:13am

#i cant stop thinking how anti recovery i am from deppresion #i cant accept the fact thay i can ever do anything even if peoplendo mention im good at something its like #its just soemthing their saying yknow #yputune has helped me a lot back then but i dont see it helping me again this time around #i feel so dead #i spent a whole weel doong absolpitely nothing but crying #i hage been crying continoisly for this whole week i have done nothing to help muself #but to put such a fake look on my face everyday pike oh yeah last night was grat good sleep #bit i cant slep every jight im literally dying #im literally on the fuvking edge of wating to kill myself so often #i coild do it #but #i have no stanfing point why am i hesistating #im litersly going nowhere ij my life whats the ppint of being good and tryibg my nest anymore #what os tuis positivity i used to have #what os this positivity and optomistic sode of me i cabt see it anymore

[survivngthestorm-blog]

Chapter one. Your Crazy! Your Doctor Says So.

I am going to skip all the bullshit of my life, my trials, my rebellions and my hard times. Why? Well although I tend to agree that the crap I have been through in my life plays a big factor in WHY I am the way that I am, this book in not about HOW I became crazy, it is a book about HOW to be kick-ass AND crazy. So the reasons of how I became crazy are kinda irrelevant. Lets just agree, you’ve been through hard times, I have been through hard times. Shit got tough, BUT we are still alive, were still here and we are still crazy. How it happened doesn’t matter. What we are going to do about it is the oral of the life story my friend. I had always known something “wasn’t right”. I always knew I over reacted to things, cried to much, couldn’t analyze situations properly, let my head go to big bad dark places. I always knew. However, having said that, that does not change my reaction when I received the Psychiatric report on myself. That 5 page report was tough to swallow. Everything I had thought about myself was true. Everything I feared was right here in front of me written in black and white with a signature from someone that went to school for a very long time and knows what he is looking at. Or does he? Within this five page documentation, I earned a “certificate” of suffering from Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia (look it up) and Borderline Personality Disorder. What a lovely mixture of a whole lot of Crazy! I had many reactions to this news. Not all of it was pretty. The first on was pitiful to say the least. For days all I did was cry. Like snot rolling down the face, can’t breathe cry. It was pathetic. Poor me, I am crazy. Poor me, I can no longer work, like a “normal” person. Poor me, people are going to make fun of me. I spent most of my time during this pitiful state wrapped up in blankets, drifting in and out of sleep. Pretty sure I never showered, brushed my teeth or did anything a person should be doing with steps of basic personal hygiene. I just simply could not accept the fact that I was sentenced to this life. I felt sorry for myself and thought I had earned some badge that allowed me to wallow in self pity for days on end. This report beat the crap out of me emotionally and I was unsure as to how I was going to cope with the days ahead. I AM crazy. Doctor says so. I will never function as a human again. Now is the time I may as well end this sad pathetic life, better than living like this. There was a point within this stage of my acceptance that I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor at 2am. Sitting on the bathroom floor staring at a bottle of pills I had mixed. A special potion for myself that would allow me to just simply fall asleep, never to wake again to this struggle I found myself in. As I sat on the floor that night, I was overcome and consumed by so many dark thoughts ans the simple conclusion that my family and my children would be better off without me. I would save them the pain and suffering of watching their mother fall apart. At that moment, I have no idea why, but my youngest woke up with a bad dream. He had found himself at tthe bathroom door calling for his mother. His tiny hand and fingers slid under the door and his voice came through asking “Mommy are you in there? I need you”. That moment right there snapped me back to reality. It was at that moment I realized my children DO need me. I need them. They are the pure motivation for my existence and how selfish was I about to become? You see, I thought I was doing something to spare them. To shelter them from pain and embarrassment. I wasn’t. I was actually about to take away the one person they needed most in life. The one person that they KNEW they could rely on no matter what. The one and only person that when they got scared, angry, hurt or sick they needed. Now THAT is selfish! Next came the rage. Like HELL I am crazy! This Quack has NO idea what he is talking about. What because he has a fancy certificate on his wall with a stupid seal and went to a fancy school for many years, that means he knows ME? He don’t know SHIT! He has NO idea what he is even talking about. I am TOTALLY fine and I am living my life the way I want. To hell with him and his 5 page report. I will show him AND the world that he has NO idea what he is even talking about, just you wait and see. I am not going to lie, the poor me returned for awhile. About 5 months happened of this pathetic poor me state. There was a time in my life that I didn’t leave the house very often. Safe and sound inside my home where no one can judge me for 4 months. Four months I stayed safe inside the walls of my home because I didn’t want to deal with this embarrassing stigma that was placed upon me. Man, I missed out on some really cool shit! The poor me still creeps up every once and awhile. However because of the steps and determination I took to take back my own life I can now tell that bitch to take a hike. I am ME. This is ME an well, I am pretty damn awesome, Crazy or not! From there I decided I needed to get this shit under control. I needed to start taking back my life. I am NOT a weak, pitiful person and I will be damned if I was going to allow my family and my children see me crumble because it’s “to hard”. I had NO idea how I was going to accomplish something like this, nor did I know how I was going to start, I just KNEW it was going to happen regardless. I also knew that I needed to act fast. I needed to start right then and there because I knew myself and that meant at any given point the “poor me” woudl creep back in and all the plans I had, the determination I had, would dissappear and I was NOT going to let that happen. Not this time. I also knew this was going to be “hard”. You know what’s hard? Failure is hard. Being a mother is hard. Surviving is hard. Mental illness is hard. People losing their lives is hard. War is hard. Get it? There is ALWAYSS someone or something that is WAY worse off then “your hard”. Getting better is hard. Pick your damn hard people. I decided right then and there that I needed to put muself first. I needed to just WHOA on life and all the outside factors that influenced my day and just put me first. I deserved it and damn it, it needed to be done for once in order to get this shit-show of a life under control. My kids and husband deserved to live with a better person and well quite frankly, I was making myself annoyed with my behavior and attitude let alone what I was doing to them! I knew this journey was going to be difficult. I knew that I would lose people I thought were friends and I knew that not everyone was going to understand what and why I was doing what I was doing. I didn’t care. Honestly, I didn’t give a shit. This was not about anyone else other than me and I was finally strong enough to start. I knew with EVERY OUNCE of my soul it was time to change. It was time to take back my life and give my children the best of me. And so, that is what began my journey to self healing. Self Control and being KICK-ASS AND CRAZY. Yup, it can be done. I promise. One thing I should tell you though, is that no matter what I tell you, no matter what books you read, videos you watch or anything else you do to try and help yourself, it will NOT work until YOU are ready. You have to be ready for change YOURSELF, not because someone else has told you to do it, but because you want to be different. You have to WANT it with every part of your being. YOU and ONLY you, have to want to KICK-ASS in life. Until that criteria is met, my words and the words of others are completely useless. They will fall upon deaf ears, wasted words of wisdom that will leave you feeling even more useless and discouraged then you may be feeling at this exact moment. Trust me when I say YOU have to be ready. If you are ready, keep reading! 

[talamega]

11. bedtime

As their mom left the company she'd been working for and stayed at home, kids got used to come to our bed every night. Each morning I'm awaken when somebody kicking or pushing my side, or making me balancing upon the bed edge. Sometimes I can hear sniffing and snoring, sometimes I feel I'm squeezed between two bodies and I can't move and can't continue sleeping as well. When someone starts to wake up crying, or on the contrary, being in great mood starts to jump on the bed and laugh. Honestly, I forgot when I had enough sleep and woke up by muself. Anyway I do cherish that moments and I know I'll miss them then kids grow up.

#kids #bed #sleep