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Mentor Prompt

The hero have a mentor who talk with riddles and cryptic sentences. This, of course, piss him off. One day, the hero ask him why he does that and the mentor answers :

“When I was youg, I was like you. I had a mentor who talked with cryptic bullshit. So one day, for annoy him, I started talking with riddles and cryptic bullshit like him and for random things like when he asked me where was the milk or stuff like that. I succeed, he was really pissed off. Then I found out that I liked pissing off people by talking with cryptic nonsense ! And now here we are !

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Time is never linear, is it? It’s like we keep popping in and out of this dreadful timeline.

You could always donate them to one of our facilities, which we would greatly appreciate! However you can also trade them in for another body piece of equal or lesser value!

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FEAR OF CENTIPEDES IS CALLED CHILOPOPHOBIA??? WTF…… i have lived my entire life fearless of everything . yet i see one of these multiple legged bitches and i am unresponsive . i am like a deer in the headlights. i have crushed several roaches, slapped wasps and hornets out of the air to their demise, obliterate the absolute hell of out spiders, wrecked havoc i am talkin ultimate bug killer type beat on the insect kingdom. yet,,,, i see 1(one) centipede and it’s over. it’s over for me. i am achilles and the centipedes are Paris and his arrows. i was doomed from the start. why didn’t my mother make me completely fearless? why did it have to be centipedes? why not something stupid? like fear of planes or something? no. it had to be centipedes. every time i step into my shower i have to check behind every bottle. i go into the basement i am careful of where i step. the insect world would be demolished if the centipedes weren’t there. god made centipedes to keep me at bay. i’m to powerful without a weakness. why couldn’t i just be a fearless, stupid, college frat boy ? why. why did i have to be a powerful deity who will forever be trapped due to a small, easily killable, hundred legged insect? what was god so afraid of? what am i capable. of? he didn’t need to do this to me but he did. it’s so disrespectful.. . god will beg for mercy when i gain the ability to kill the little skinny ugly disaster of a bug centipedes. there is no god around when i see one of these bitches when i am naked and afraid in the shower. who do i pray to in times like this? He listens to me but ignores it all the same. so while i write this message, about to take my shower. if i see a damn centipede. you will know because suddenly the corpse of god will be found in a Pennsylvanian field. maimed and scalped. the centipedes will be running. hiding. crying out. to who? i already decimated their god . now there is only me and the insects. their cries for mercy or begging for an allegiance go unheard , for i am wearing earplugs and full of a rage and fury enough to power a small desk lamp. goodbye you stupid fucks. nobody will ever fucking miss you. i will turn your bodies and bodies of loved ones into dust and ash. nobody will ever wonder ‘what happened to the centipedes?’ because you are insignificant and useless. if you are a centipede. i . will. see. you. soon.

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