#currently at 12k words
eremiie · 5 months ago
i literally have 2 scenes to write left in the fic go me <33333
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tswwwit · 2 months ago
Writing continues well! But aw man, there's no way this chapter comes in at under 10k. This is gonna take a while.
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cyclogenesis · 7 months ago
Sam tried to make him call it @grumpycatbarnes but he went with @buckyskittens instead
Bucky gets recognized a lot more frequently these days, almost as much as Sam does himself. Though Bucky had flat out refused to get any public accounts despite months of low-key pleading from the US government’s social media team, that had all changed once he adopted a kitten from a kitten shelter.
He quickly decided to start volunteering at that shelter, then started sending Sam multiple videos of kittens treating his body like a jungle gym, trying and failing to sink their tiny little claws into his metal arm and then tumbling off before he caught them with a swift right hand. It was starting to take up a lot of space on Sam’s phone saving the videos to watch again when he needed a pick-me-up, so Bucky started an Instagram account for his kitten pictures and videos and now, to put it as understatedly as possible, everyone is in love with him.
The pictures of Alpine tucked into Bucky’s leather jacket are cute as hell though. Sam gets it.
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sunshinemarauder · 9 months ago
'Ghosts Never Die' SNIPPET
HEY YALL! I'm working on a long (~10k words) one-shot right now- here's a snippet. The one-shot will be called 'Ghosts Never Die'. it's a bit dark so check the TWs! You can expect the full one-shot to be up in maybe a week :)
TW: degrading sexual language/harassment, (mentions of) future sexual assault, PTSD, nightmares
That evening Lily is discharged from the Hospital Wing.
Mary and Marlene came by to help Lily to her dorms (they offered to let her stay with them back in her old dormitory but Lily refused, not wanting to be pitied or treated like she can't handle herself) and their gentle support and distractions were the only way Lily could ignore the badly-hidden stares in the hallway.
They left soon after, though not without many anxious 'are you sure?' s from Mary. Marlene ended up dragging Mary out with an apologetic roll of her eyes toward Lily.
But now, as Lily sits alone in the small communal Common Room she shares with James, staring at the flickering flames in the fireplace, she's utterly alone and terrified of her thoughts. With a pang, Lily wishes that she had taken a Dreamless Sleep potion from the Hospital Wing.
The flames dance hauntingly, a hazy blur of red and gold and red and gold and red and gold...
Lily slips into a half-conscious haze where she's only aware of the blur of fire in front of her and the soft couch she's fallen back onto.
Her dreams are made of failed Potions essays and sparkling hazel eyes. A trilling laugh comes from behind her, and long blonde hair tickles her chin. Professor McGonagall's stern smile melts into the Hospital Wing, and then a table littered with bandages soaked with the blood of her injuries. Panic arises in Lily's chest, and the blood starts pouring and pouring, her arms and legs and entire body feeling as if they're on fire, and the leers of Avery and Mulciber swimming in front of her face are too close, their toothy sneers are too close-
Lily jolts awake with a start, breathing heavily as she looks around wildly, remembering that she's on the sofa in the Heads Common Room. The fire has dwindled significantly, and Lily realizes that hours must have gone by. When she looks up at the clock above the fireplace, it shows that it's now twenty past ten.
She moves to stand up but swears when her legs buckle.
Her neck and arms are drenched with sweat and her wounds seem like they were never healed in the first place.
Lily exhales shakily, limping into her bedroom and practically collapsing on top of the cool covers.
The bedding is crisp and soft under her weight, and Lily burrows into the blankets, sighing in pleasure when the cool skin of her face meets the chilly pillow.
But that isn't enough, and her body is still sweating up a storm, so Lily pulls off her pants and shirt, leaving her in just her knickers and a thin camisole. She shivers against the cool air, screwing her eyes shut and counting to a hundred to hopefully fall asleep.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five. Forty-six. Sixty-two. Ninety.
Mulciber grasps her chin in his hand and tilts it upward to face him, a cruel smirk splitting his face.
"What do you say we have some fun with this bitch?"
"What, in front of the second-year girl?" Avery scoffs. "Besides, we're not here to mess around. The Dark Lord would not be happy if we bungle the mission."
"Come on, you can't say you're not tempted at all. And we're killing both of them anyway- nobody would need to know." His thick fingers stroke her hair roughly, playing with the ends of the strands. Suddenly, he tugs it hard. "Filthy little Mudblood."
Avery scowls. "Fine. I have to say- I do wonder what Potter sees in her."
Mulciber leers at her, his breath mingling with hers. It's foul, and she wants to spit in his face, but she can do nothing except stay standing there, her face completely neutral.
"Why don't we see for ourselves?"
Lily lurches sideways, panting and gasping for breath, soaked in sweat once more. She frantically runs her hand through her sweaty hair to make sure it's still there, and it's still hers, and forces herself to breath through her mouth, stamping down the whimpers she can't control.
Cradling her knees to her chest, Lily stares wide-eyed at the room from where she is curled up on the bed. It feels too hot and too massive for her to stay the entire night here. Not to mention that she's sure to have many more nightmares - if she can even fall back asleep, that is.
Lily considers going back to the Gryffindor girls' dormitories and sleeping in her old bed in the same room as Marlene and Mary but quickly crosses out the idea. She'd have to walk a relatively long distance in the middle of the night, and even if she trusted her legs to take her there safely, she would likely be discovered by a teacher on patrol.
That only leaves one option.
Lily tiptoes out of her room and hesitates in front of James' room before opening the door with a soft click and stepping inside.
Like she had expected, he's asleep, and the lights are out. James' normally untamable hair is absolutely chaotic now, and his normally bright, expressive face is peaceful and boyish.
With a healthy dose of trepidation, Lily climbs into bed next to him, putting a respectable amount of space in between them, unable to tear her gaze away from his beautiful, resting face.
Suddenly, James's arm winds around her waist and pulls her in close to him so her face is pressed up against his chest and their legs are tangled together. He murmurs nonsense in his sleep and Lily suppresses the crazy urge to giggle like a madwoman.
She can't help it though, and her body is shaking with laughter as she tries to stifle it by burying her face in his chest.
James stirs and she stills immediately, nervous about what will happen when he finds out that she's in his bed.
"Lily?" whispers James. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep and I didn't know where to go-" Lily rushes, fumbling her words.
"Shh, it's okay," he mumbles soothingly, patting her head absently. "Stay."
Relief floods her then, and she thinks if she weren't already lying down she might collapse with the sensation of being pressed up so close to James Potter, shamelessly inhaling the scent of him.
"Okay," she whispers back. "I'll stay."
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inkykeiji · 10 months ago
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lit-beyond-measure · 7 months ago
why is it that when i aim for a wordcount i always end up going off in a slightly different direction than planned and end up exceeding it?
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batshit-birds · a year ago
I am curious and wish to know what wips you currently have and what you think you'll post next
hem hem well, I may have a few. Meaning many 
1)  Mer AU Stuff
- B meets Cass
- B goes to the Lounge to make a business deal & Jay is there
- 2nd chapter to Curiosity Can Be Deadly
2) Reverse AU Stuff
- Jay was just taken in by B and meets Damian
- Heartworm (longfic)
- a lil’ whumpy snippet for Damian & Dick
- Tim’s resurrection
3) Other
- B&tB longfic (side project)
- AU where Jason never wants to kill Tim and accidentally gets him as a little brother and kind of unofficially adopts him too
- a very long Timkon oneshot that I’ve been writing since May
- a two-part Timkon get together fic based around nightmares
The one that I’ll probably post next is the reverse au one where Jason has been newly taken in by Bruce. Idk yet if it’ll be broken up into two chapters or not, we’ll see
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sleepless-in-starbucks · a year ago
finished big bang chapter one B)
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khuns · a year ago
do you think khun or bam would ever be a whipped bf with their significant other
why would you,,, not be whipped for your significant other 
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foxfictioncentral · a year ago
very legitimate questions
i know this is my blog so i technically dont need permission, but with me disappearing & reappearing spontaneously it just feels like the polite thing to do
would anyone mind if i posted
fairshaw content here
fics/links to fics on ao3 i’ve written that dont necessarily relate to my characters
spontaneous art of my non-wow ocs
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miazeklos · a day ago
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Jon's twin extravaganza ain't getting wrapped up in 30k words I'm afraid :/
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but-a-mouse · a month ago
Me having to Google synonyms for the same word 3 sperate times while writing
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solarviolet · 10 months ago
i originally started writing dyr? with an oc character and i'm wondering if i should continue with the oc or just keep using y/n ?
i mean it doesn't change the plot that much, since it works either way ... but maybe when i post it on ao3 or somewhere else i'll keep the oc included
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dreamquackity · 3 years ago
i wish you the many comforts
thank u anon!! im writing fic now and v happy
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helenazbmrskai · 5 months ago
Bad Alpha, Sweet Alpha [KTH] (M)
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Pairing – Alpha! Taehyung x Human (Female)! Reader
Genre – Werewolf AU, Smut(y smut), F2L, Angst (very tiny), PWP, Alpha Going Into Heat AU, Straight Up Filth AU, fluffy fluff, humour
Summary – [You’ve been in love with your best friend for years. Now here’s the problem Taehyung’s wolf hates you. But why he hid the key and then refused to tell you and Taehyung where he put it? Nonetheless just before his heat is about to start.]
Warnings – rutting, heat sex, oral (f + m receiving), dry humping, dirty talk, handjob, blowjob, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, a lot of cum and by a lot I mean a looot, knotting, cum eating and stuffing, cumswallowing, gagging on your alpha’s cock, alpha kink, standing sex, cock riding, underwear sniffing, size kink, cockwarming if you blink, Taehyung is chained up but later OC releases him, he cries at one point but not in a sexual way (?), love confessions, Taehyung eats his cum out of your pussy, talk about breeding kink, teasing, overstimulation, one (non sexual) choke scene but nothing serious, sexual tension, sorry if I forgot something as you can see there’s a lot on my plate this time to present you
Word Count – (12k); 
Author note. Even I am getting fed up with sex after I pushed this baby out in one sitting (you will understand my reference after reading). I don’t think I’ve ever written down ’cock’ this many times before. Also, this is my longest smut so far so I hope you’ll guys enjoy some heat werewolf sex. I don’t know why but writing this was easy the word count just flown over the roof and I planned to make this maybe 6k or something. I don’t know if it makes me naughty af but I guess I am and I offer this piece to all the nasty and kinky asses out there to enjoy this as well.
Menu: Masterlist l Be part of my permanent taglist to recieve a notification when I upload a new fic or send an ask!
⤷ Part of Bad and Sweet Trilogy
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”No. Don’t even try to persuade me to stay a few more days. You know your wolf hates me, he’s always so mean when you’re around the time to go into heat.” If your scowl’s sharpness could manifest Taehyung is sure their tv would be already sliced in half. You’re currently flipping through the channels with your legs in the wolf boy’s lap not amused in the slightest when he started to whine about being alone before his heat hits. You know it’s the preheat that keeps him agitated and clingy like a lost puppy. He’s always more affectionate and needy in terms of physical contact.
You’re only here inside the bagtan pack’s cabin tucked in a secluded area lined with trees and nature, arguably the best hiding spot for a feverish wolf with little to no possibilities to break loose and run around town, because your friend asked you to stay for exactly an afternoon and keep him company. You reluctantly agreed as none of the boys were available but you refuse to stay when it’s just 24 hours before the shit hits the fan.
”No! That’s not true! He doesn’t hate you Y/N he’s just having a hard time showing his emotions.” Rolling your eyes at his pathetic excuse, it’s obvious that neither of you believes it he’s just saying that to appraise you. His tactic is clearly not working to get you to stay as you’re being the more rational one out of the two of you, for one crazy moment, even if you believe that his wolf is just rough around the edges your stay would risk him have a harder time sensing your pheromones and shit like that in the air while experiencing his actual heat.
”The problem with that statement is Taehyung that you two say very different things.”
You’re not exaggerating thinking that his inner wolf is not very fond of you. Taehyung is not always aware when his wolf takes over but he’s nothing but rude when he catches you hanging out with your friend. Most times he only takes over when he’s on the brink of passing out from exhaustion or his heat coming soon. In order for his wolf to get into the forefront of his mind he needs to disconnect from his body, it could be achieved either by exhausting himself or being in a frenzied state that comes from the heat taking over his senses and thoughts.  
The last time his wolf graced you with his presence he kindly told you to fuck off because you stink. He always watches you with narrowed eyes and nitpicks at anything you do telling you how much he doesn’t like you hanging around Taehyung.
Letting the remote land on the couch between your bodies you twist your body out of his hold to get up. You need to catch the last bus and it’s quite the walk to get there you don’t want to commute in the dark and it wouldn’t be the wisest to stay the night.
”Tae, did you lock the door?” Said man arches a brow after you accuse him of tampering with the front door and casually walks to where you stand with your backpack in one hand and the other on the knob that doesn’t budge no matter how hard you twist the handle. Taehyung shoos you away grabbing the knob as well but even with his strength, it doesn’t move an inch.
”Huh, I didn’t lock it though.” He wonders aloud trying again and again but with little progress in the department of freeing you.
”If it wasn’t me and you then there’s only one person who could have done it. Ask your puppy why he locked us in.”There’s a growl unconsciously slipping letting you know by Taehyung’s widened eyes that he was not the one who growled at you but the little shit inside his mind. He looks at you sheepishly before raising a finger for you to wait probably to talk to the brat who’s responsible for this mishap.
Taehyung’s perfect eyebrows furrow as he silently converses with his other half, seemingly getting frustrated as he gnaws on his lower lip. He catches your gaze a few minutes later laughing awkwardly while massaging his neck that’s his habit when he’s nervous.
”He won’t tell me where’s the key.” Taehyung’s eyes dart over the room just to avoid your death stare, failing as he feels it on his skin making a shiver run down his spine.
”Taehyung.” You warn him, your hands grab his t-shit and get in his personal bubble to appear more threatening. He might be an Alpha but Taehyung still cowers under your intense gaze. Right then and there his eyes flash gold and his avoiding eyes fill up with cockiness as if daring you to do something. You know that it’s not Taehyung you’re dealing with anymore. What a coward letting his wolf face your wrath.
”Where. Is. The. Key.” With each word, your tone gets dangerously lower as your faces get closer to the point where you could count every individual eyelash if you wanted to. Taehyung’s smirk only grows as you impatiently wait for an answer or even an insult. You can’t possibly come up with an explanation why his wolf would hide the key. He sure doesn’t want you here when Taehyung’s about to go into heat.
”I don’t know what you’re talking about but better watch your bratty mouth. Taehyung might be intimidated by your glare but I don’t fall in that category. I could easily snap your neck right here right now.” To emphasise his point he curls his long fingers around your throat and squeezes it a little not enough to hurt you though.
”Why would you lock the door? I need to leave before Taehyung’s heat arrives. Even though you hate me after it affects your thought process you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from wanting to fuck me. Unless that was your plan all along.” You say the last sentence as an afterthought but then you see a weird glimmer in his golden eyes bleeding into Taehyung’s familiar black like he’s fighting for his control back.
The amber hue leaves after a stinky eye roll to your way from the wolf and the next minute you have Taehyung’s wide ones back. He immediately lets go of your neck apologising for doing it in the first place.
”What if we break a window?” His idea would work in any other place but this cabin was structured to house a horny wolf, the door and the windows are foolproof there’s no chance you could break it with anything you have here inside considering that there are no knives and other objects that could potentially harm someone. Even the damn forks are plastic.
”Well, we searched for the key everywhere in the house. That fucker hid it well I’ll give him that.” You fasten the straps around his ankles to be sure they won’t budge if he pulls on them. ”Pull. Great, they’ll hold.” You hum before moving on to lock the metal cuffs around his wrists too.
”Our only bet right now is to chain you up so you wouldn’t jump my bones and fuck me into the next Sunday.” Your blunt words force a pink blush to spread across his cheeks, your words affecting him in an embarrassing way knowing how close the hours are to start his rut. You don’t blame him when he pops a boner just by talking about sex.
You take a minute to study his face after you’re done locking him up. There’s a light sheen of sweat lingering on his skin a telltale that his temperature started to rise to prepare him for the upcoming days. Taehyung’s face is already pained when he shifts around sitting on the floor. Not the best design as the chains could only connect to the opposite wall, it would be a lot more comfortable if he could lay on the bed but the chains are not long enough to extend to that part of the room.
On top of that, he has to suffer to have you right beside him but unable to relieve himself the boys won’t come until his heat passes and that means you’re stuck.
”I’m sorry Tae. This is exactly why I wouldn’t want to stay, you’ll suffer smelling me.” You watch him with a pout as soon as you cup his face with your palm he nuzzles into your skin like a touch starved puppy, his breath hits the inner part of your wrist letting you know how he not so subtly inhales your scent.
”It’s ok. You smell delicious anyway.” It doesn’t make much sense to you but you don’t ask him what he means by that and simply card your fingers through his hair, he’s sweating even more now. You could spear him some light touches before you have to keep your distance.
You have a feeling that his heat will come sooner than he predicted it’s probably your scent that triggers his heat to hit earlier, one more thing to feel bad about as you watch his eyebrows pinch together in discomfort. If only his wolf didn’t hide the key.
There’s this twitching thought surfacing from time to time as you think about what his intention might have been to do something reckless like this. Frankly, you know that his wolf acts on the deepest desires Taehyung has. Tae and his wolf are not that separated from one another that’s why it disheartens you whenever his wolf rejects you so harshly. There’s a part of you who mulls over the fact if perhaps he doesn’t want you around and his wolf is giving you hints to get lost. But on the contrary, you don’t get the vibes from Taehyung that he doesn’t cherish your friendship.
Even when you settle down on the bed at a safe distance from Taehyung’s chained up form you can’t stop thinking about the other possibility. It’s ridiculous considering how his wolf was ’playfully’ choking you almost half an hour ago. If you think of it as a theory you doubt it he hid the keys to force you to stay. Taehyung did ask you to not leave him earlier and maybe if it was an unconscious decision from his wolf to hide the key so his other half’s desire for you to stay get fulfilled. There’s this other thought that kinda links them together and that would mean he wants you to stay because he wants you to help him out. He wouldn’t want to suffer otherwise being this close to you if he truly didn’t want you.
He never asked you though. It’s not like it never crossed your mind to help him if he wants you to but you always felt weird bringing it up in a conversation and he never indicated that he would even like that or not. Maybe you should talk about it with him before he entirely gets under the influence of his heat. You wouldn’t have a peace of mind if he doesn’t give you his full consent. As soon as the urge to mate gets too strong he would say yes in a heartbeat but it wouldn’t be his objective decision and you don’t want to take advantage of him.
”Hey Tae. Are you up?” He jerks when you try to touch his shoulder his sudden movement makes you pull your hand back. His eyes started to turn gold again but he’s still Taehyung, the black part is larger for now that hints that you should hurry up and talk.
”Sorry. I won’t touch you.” You step back confused when Taehyung whines at the distance and tugs on his chains.
”It hurts.” He grits out, his canines are larger than before as they sink into his bottom lip tasting the blood.
”If it gets unbearable do you want me to help you?” Taehyung snaps his head once you leave the question in the open. You can see he’s contemplating what to say so you wait patiently for him to gather his thoughts. It must be harder as his focus slips ever so often.
”I’ll be ok. I don’t want to force you.” His words are only half-hearted as you see how dejected he looks after rejecting your offer. It gives you hope to approach the topic again as he doesn’t seem to be opposed to it he just doesn’t want you to feel like you have to help him.
”I. Look. I want to help you Tae. Be honest with me. Do you want me to help or not? I swear I won’t be mad if you don’t want to have sex with me...if you find me repulsive or-”
Taehyung growls when you mention the last part, he looks actually angry that you mentioned it so you shut up immediately.
”I would never find you repulsive Y/N. You can’t imagine how many times I imagined fucking you in different positions just today.” He shivers as he seems to remember those fantasies but his eyes clear the next second to regard you a few steps away from him.
”If I let you help me our friendship will be over. I don’t want to lose you Y/N. I want you but I can’t have you.” Your head tilt tells him that you’re not catching on to his secret code. He didn’t want you to find out this way but he knows you’re stubborn and you’ll pester him until he spills the beans anyway so here goes nothing.
”If I fuck you there’s no way I could go back to being your friend. It’s all I want and it’s not just only the heat talking. I want to hold your hand and kiss you do couple-y stuff and fuck you till you’re full of my cum. I love you so much but not as your friend.”
You’re confused, to say the least after his confession. Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it will break free from your ribcage. Never in a million years you would have thought Taehyung has feelings for you. You want to believe him but your insecurities are holding you back.
”B-But your wolf hates me.” You trail off at the end of the sentence avoiding eye contact as Taehyung whines and you hear the chains rattle as he tries to move around.
”He doesn’t hate you. He’s just scared. I’m scared.” The way he pleads with his eyes to believe him makes you recoil. All this time you thought that he hated you but he sure would tell you the truth right? You hope he’s not just saying that to spear your feelings. Because you experienced enough heartache while thinking that his wolf rejects you. It prevented you from making any move on him as you thought he’s not interested in you being as anything other than just his friend.
”Are… are you saying that your wolf acted like that because-” You don’t dare finish the sentence in case your wrong but the recognition in Taehyung’s eyes tell you that you two think alike.
”Because he doesn’t want me to get hurt if you… reject me.” The wolf boy bashfully finishes it for you and you swear your heart skips a beat. Taehyung indeed was projecting his deepest desires and fears and it turns out to be that he treated you like this because he was afraid you’ll never reciprocate his feelings. He told you to stay away because he was protecting Taehyung from you. He recognised his feelings for you and since you didn’t make any move to indicate the attraction is mutual he went defensive.
”I’m not rejecting you Tae.” This time when you reach out to press your palm against his cheek he lets you, his whole body shutters when you caress his cheeks with your thumb. There’s a low rumble coming from the back of his throat that reminds you of a happy cat purr. Once his heat is over there’s so much you need to talk about that’s for sure but right now you’ll solely focus on Taehyung getting through it and help him satisfy the hungry wolf inside him. Even though you’re kind of pissed at his wolf right now. The gold colour of his eyes slowly swallows the black as more of his carnal side shows itself as his preparation for heat reaches its peak.
”I’m mad I’m not gonna lie but I can understand why you would be hostile towards me. It doesn’t make me just forget about it though.” Just an hour ago you didn’t think that he’ll go from the cocky wolf who threatened to snap your neck to become this whimpering mess to beg for your forgiveness. He can feel your slight anger and confusion while his head tells him to mate you but he’s tied he can’t do anything and it’s killing him. The swelling inside his pants is getting harder to ignore the more closer you get.
”I want you so bad. Kiss me. Unchain me.” If you were a wolf just like him maybe his command would have made you snap into action but you’re not a wolf. Just a human. Somewhat you’re guilty of wanting to prolong his condition knowing that you’re his only release. It’s not like he’s the only one to blame in this situation, you were a fool too. You push his jaw up with your pointer finger kissing just under his ear softly that earns a needy moan to rip from his throat.
”Your smell is driving me crazy. Unchain me. I want to taste you I’ve been waiting for so long.” Taehyung is desperately rutting against your thigh his erection poking you through the rough material of his jeans. His eyes are closed in agony as his humping barely lessens the boiling desire to have you, all the blood rushes to his cock, throbbing for your cunt. You grab his chin to look at you, one more line of pretending before you help him through the pain, you decide.
”Funny I think you said that I stink. Should I leave you like this since I smell so bad?” The prospect of you leaving him hard in his pants and chained to this wall pains him, his mind tells him to please you. His mate. He should fuck you deep until he empties every drop of his cum inside. He already knows that barking commands won’t make you follow through you’ll just leave him hanging so he begins to beg for your pussy. He’ll literally die if he can’t be inside you, lust is burning him from the inside out. Taehyung whimpers and stutters like an omega in heat as if you’re the alpha he dutifully begs you and rubs himself on your thigh without his release in sight.
This is your first time experiencing how a wolf gets a one track mind nothing else is occupying his thoughts only sinfully explicit images as his rational part of him recedes and lets the carnal needs dictate his words and actions. This vulnerability is why they spend their heats in solitude until they find a mate to take care of them. Suddenly everything the boys told you about the experience makes perfect sense.
”I’m so sorry please don’t leave me. I’ll never do that again. I don’t hate you in fact the exact opposite of that. You’re the best smelling human on Earth, want you closer. I didn’t mean the things I said before. Believe me. Sorry for hurting you. So sorry.” The wolf in him is desperate, his instincts dictate to please you but can’t do that while he smells your reluctance. He knew that his words hurt you because he could always see it in your eyes but at that time being harsh seemed to be the best solution not to go crazy and bend you over the couch. Frustrated tears are rolling down his cheeks unable to think what else to do to get your forgiveness. Mixed with his unsatisfied state the tears easily gather behind his eyes.
”Don’t cry. I believe you.” Now you’re guilty to make him cry for something so insignificant when you finally got your confession. The other negative emotion that washes over you makes him cry harder. His vulnerable state prevents him from thinking rationally and make sense of the thoughts behind your emotions he could only tell that they’re negative. You kiss him slowly moving your lips over him until he reciprocates it just as carefully. Your heart flutters when he licks your lips asking for permission to taste you and you let him in happily.
”I’m sorry for making you cry. I like you too so don’t worry about anything right now and let me take care of you.” You whisper the words into his mouth, swallowing his moans with your lips as you caress his sides under his shirt moving lower to palm him over his jeans. Taehyung protests when you part from his lips he watches you with unfocused eyes as you walk to the bed and snatch a pillow from the pile.
You place the pillow on the floor and slowly kneel in front of him. His cock twitches when you’re close Taehyung eagerly lets you take off his pants and underwear in one go letting out a pleased sigh when his member is free from the cage of his clothes.
”I can’t release you just yet. You’re still too affected by your heat and you know a human can’t handle how rough a wolf can get. I’ll let you go after your head clears ok?” You rub his hipbone to make him relax, you can see from here how the chains strain against his red skin he wants to touch you so bad but he’s too strong to handle you carefully. Taehyung barely registers your words only hears that you won’t unchain him and he whines again loudly, the tears stopped but his face is still pained. You shouldn’t waste any more time he deserves his release.
”Order me. Do you want me to take you in my mouth Taehyung?” You taunt him with a small lick just long enough to taste his salty precum. The guttural moan he releases makes your core tingle with a new wave of arousal, you’re sure he can smell you in the air as you get wetter. Seeing his cock leaking so much precum turns you on. He’s so long and thick pretty veins are making sure that he’s as hard as a rock, ready to pound into your cunt. In your current state, you wouldn’t be able to take all of him, he’s too big for you. The thought excites you, you want him to stretch you out and make you cry out in pleasure as you feel him so deep inside, leaving barely any space for him to move. After he’s done with you you bet your pussy will be too stretched to go back to its original tight size for hours.
Your plan seems to work as you see the alpha getting riled up. ”Suck me off. I want to see your pretty lips stretched around my cock.” You obey immediately. You place both hands on his hips preparing with a long inhale of air to take him down your throat. He’s so big he won’t fit entirely in your mouth but damn if you are not going to try.
The wolf almost howls in pleasure as your mouth finally wraps around his dick, your mouth is tight around his shaft as you try to take more than half of him in. Taking breaks between your swallows you lick his tip in circles breathing in and out trying to regulate your heartbeat as you push down on his length as far as you can go. Some spit escapes from the corner of your lips rolling down your neck as you try to reach his stomach with your nose but you gag before it can happen. With blurry eyes you can see that all Taehyung wants is to keep your mouth in place with a firm hand in your hair when you withdraw after the gag. He would make you repeatedly gag on his cock loving how your throat constricts around him forcing the loudest moans out of him to reward your hard work and undoubtedly sore throat after you’re done. You know he’s close as his grunts come out more frequently and drop an octave. To make up for not being able to take his cock entirely you speed the bob of your head sucking and licking not caring that your saliva drips down to his balls. Taehyung’s body shakes you can feel it where your hand firmly grips his hips, your nails digging into his skin as you dare to swallow around his cock gagging when he repeatedly hits the back of your throat. Tears are sliding down your cheeks now without stopping while your throat begs you to stop you’re encouraged by the rhythmical throbbing of his shaft that he’s about to cum.
You’re careful to withdraw until only half of him is inside your mouth to avoid his hot cum spurt down your throat and instead opt for swallowing it at your own pace to avoid coughing since he has way more cum to offer you than a human male could. Taehyung’s undoing comes in the form of you moaning around his cock his entire body freezes every muscle in his body tenses until he’s done with emptying every drop into your mouth. You swallow diligently but it’s too much and some escapes to drip down mixed with your spit. Taehyung follows the route of his cum sliding down the elegant slope of your throat soaking your shirt as it continues its journey between your breasts where his eyes can’t see anymore.
”You ok little one?” Your fogged up mind catches his worried voice, you look up to convey a smile. You nod. The chains only let his fingertips reach your face but he’s gentle to rub your skin moving down to massage your throat and relieve the tension in your muscles.
”Did I do a good job Taehyung?” You ask him mischievously once you find your voice. The smirk he gifts you is enough to focus back on the throbbing of your pussy. You were able to forget about your own pleasure in favour to see Taehyung’s face as he reaches his high but now you want your release too. Your underwear is soaked, uncomfortably sticking to your folds. He’s already half hard as he responds to your increased arousal. Taehyung observes you for a long minute or two, his eyes are a lot clearer but his wolf is still present repressing the real Taehyung to come out and take over his body again. His heat is a lot stronger than any of his before.
”So good. You did a good job with following your alpha’s order. You deserve a reward.” Your eyes widen as Taehyung lands on his knees your kneecaps knocking together as he mimics your position. He leans in for a kiss that you immediately grant, his tongue pries your lips open to taste his cum mixed with your special taste and he’s pleased to find out you two taste divine together like this. Abruptly parting from your lips he licks the corner free of your saliva and rolls his tongue around your jaw and lower to your neck slurping up his cum and your saliva that he admired from afar. You place both hands on his broad shoulders to keep yourself upright, moaning softly when he leaves hickeys.
”Stand. I’ll taste you now.” His eyes are glowing gold leaving no room for further questions and you obey once again. Taehyung chuckles at how wobbly your legs are you have to stabilise your posture with your hands on the wall in front of you to prevent your fall. You didn’t think you soaked through your leggings as well until Taehyung rubs his nose to your clothed centre. He inhales your scent deeply licking a long line up faintly getting your taste on his tongue but he’s getting impatient as he can’t reach his hand out enough to rip your clothes off. You’re somewhat thankful because these are your only set of clothes here.
Taehyung lowers his hands to rest them on his knees watching you with predatory eyes as you get rid of your leggings and underwear with shaky hands. You’re so excited to get some attention that you almost trip on your discarded pants. If Taehyung’s mind weren’t so clouded by the thought of tongue fucking you the minute you close the distance he would have most probably laughed at your clumsiness.
”B-Be gentle at first, please. I’m sensitive.” You warn him timidly forcing Taehyung’s eyes to lock with yours. He simply nods waiting for you to come close enough to eat. After you release a deep breath you comply and step close that his nose nudges your mound. Taehyung kisses the top before doing the same with your folds, your shaky sigh is enough for him to poke out his tongue and lick but nothing past your pussy lips, he really is taking slow for you. Growing confident as he’s present enough to listen to your request you place one hand on top of his hair waiting till he tilts his chin up. He hums when you comb your fingers through his messy hair loving your affectionate gesture that he buries his face into your thighs to soak up the feeling of you being so close to him. He can feel your femoral artery pump your blood quickly just as your heartbeat quickens.
”Make me cum alpha, please.” You test the words if they will affect him the way you expect them. He growls hungrily his biceps are flexing to hold back as you guide your left leg to wrap it around his shoulder opening up your folds for him. He licks slow, at first only testing your wetness Taehyung finds your clit with ease applying pressure to his up and down motions to stimulate your little throbbing nub.
”A-Alpha.” You moan when he dips his tongue into your opening, tonguing your insides while continuously rubbing your clit with his nose, eagerly swallowing down your arousal welcoming every drop as it keeps coming, some running down your thighs that escapes his attentive mouth. He never tasted something this regal in his entire life. He gets bolder burying his whole face into your pussy wrapping his puckered lips around your clit and suck until your greedy hole clenches around nothing. You need his fingers there’s no way you can take him without proper prepping but you’re not sure he could hold back if you release him from his binds and not bend you over the bed to take him as it is.
”W-Wait. Taehyung.” You grip his locks at the base of his neck he can’t hear you it’s evident as he keeps his mouth on you licking your entire pussy like a madman to get more and more of your arousal straight from the source like an addict. Just when you tug harder that he looks up with his eyes unfocused and his mouth open. Chin and cheeks are wet with your essence that would make any woman blush.
”I need your fingers, let me get the key for your wrists.” You’re panting heavily, you almost think he wouldn’t let you go but he does with a rigid nod of his head. You walk to the bedside table and pick up the key Taehyung waits as you release one hand with shaky fingers you need to poke around the lock before you succeed in freeing him partially and then you slide the key farther away on the floor so he’s unable to reach it but you could easily go and fetch it if needed.
”You said you need my fingers. Release my other hand.” Taehyung barks displeased that he’s still bound. You want nothing more than let him have his ways with you but it’s dangerous while he’s in this frenzied state he can’t think clearly and his impatient glare is the answer you needed that you’re right. He can’t control his strength right now and you know he’ll feel bad if he hurt you so you need to be the stronger one for the both of you.
”Growl at me one more time and I’ll leave.” You need to show him that you’re not his prey to feast upon. As expected your words thankfully knock him out of that state, his scowl fades.
”If you want my pussy to come any near to your dick you’ll need to use one hand and prep me. I won’t release you until I know you can think rationally. I know you don’t want to hurt me so please-” You kiss him with half lidded eyes.
”- please trust me.”
The gold hue around his irises ebbs into a darker amber after your soft plea. Taehyung cups your cheek with his one free hand and caresses your jaw in a silent promise. This is different from all the shared kisses before, you can feel the longing and all the love he has for you through his sensually moving lips.
His hand leaves your jaw to travel down your neck and clothed chest, he continues to swallow your moans as he covers your breasts with his palm squeezing softly until your chest heaves faster. He can feel how quickly your heart is beating under his fingertips.
”So soft.” Taehyung grips the flesh of your hip kneading it with calluses fingers. You relax into his touches not alarmed at all when he lifts your leg to rest it against his shoulder like before to get a better angle. The pad of his fingers makes the first connect with your wet folds, softly rubbing you with two digits gathering your slick for the purpose of easy penetration. Soon Taehyung deems it’s slick enough for him to slide two inside slowly slipping them in to the knuckle. Your hand finds leverage pressed against the wall the feel of something filling you up gives you a short relief. He curls them searching around for a spot that makes your moan sweeter to his ears not letting up with his slow strokes.
”Ah so tight, I need to do a lot of prepping for you.” He’s adding a third finger just after as to reply to his statement. His wolfish smirk back on his handsome face, nothing like the boxy smile you’re so used to seeing. You press your cheeks to the cool surface of the wall, eyes falling shut to give in to the feeling of long digits exploring your core. You never expected to feel him this way, fingering you open to take his cock. You know that after he’s done with you you will never be able to go back to enjoying your own hands when you got a taste of what he can do to you.
Taehyung works in his pinky opting for slow half hearted strokes not pulling out much they’re solely there to stretch your walls. Not wanting to rob you of your pleasure he uses his mouth to stimulate your clit by sucking on it. Licking sloppy eights to feel your pussy close down on his fingers. It slightly burns, your walls want to close in on them but his fingers prevent you from the act. Using your previous tactics against you Taehyung hums making the vibrations throw you over the edge as he relentlessly sucks on your little bud. Your eyes are closed tightly until red dots fill up your black vision as waves of your orgasm wash over you. It’s embarrassing enough to feel your cum drip down your thighs escaping from the stretched hole as Taehyung keeps his fingers deep inside not letting you close your legs as he watches your thick release ooze out. If you were looking you would have witnessed his eyes following it with mesmerizing eyes. Shameless as he feels his cock throb with the desire to finally bury his length inside your sweet pussy.
”Thank you.” Your voice is soft there’s red colouring your cheeks in embarrassment while Taehyung just kisses your bitten lips as a passionate ’your welcome’ using his tongue as the messenger to deliver the words straight to your mouth.
His fingers slip out with a wet squelch throughoutly coated with your nectar Taehyung licks each digit clean before gripping his cock with one hand pumping his shaft to get himself wet and ready for you. He doesn’t need your cum as he has plenty of precum dripping down his entire length just from fingering and eating you out before.
You rub your legs together at the uncomfortable feeling of your walls closing without his fingers to keep you open. Taehyung catches the motion with hungry eyes he has enough strength in one hand to close the distance between your bodies with a single pull, chest to chest, with his cock resting right against your folds.
”Let’s start before your tight pussy gets even tighter.” You nod with a gulp so wound up that all you can think about is his cock parting your folds. Taehyung guides his wide tip to your opening pushing past the soft tissues that guard your cunt. The widest part of his length is still ahead of you to take four of his fingers stretched you out well enough to only feel pleasure when he pushes in the tip and a few more inches. You wiggle your hips as he stalls his fingernails are digging into your soft flesh as he tries to take it slow and not bury himself down to the hilt with one go.
It requires extreme self control from his wolf to be this gentle when all he wants is to break you in half. The sentiment makes your heart swell and you lean in to steal a kiss. He hums against your mouth like he understands your sudden thoughts, he pulls out a moment later until just his tip is surrounded by your tight heat and slides in a few inches more than before testing out how much can you take without making it uncomfortable for you. You only feel the burn again when your hips almost meet. Taking his cock was never the question what he’s worried about is how well can you take his knot. You’re too tight, your cunt was not made to take a wolf’s knot. He’s still hoping that you can, considering that the moon gave him a human mate, you should be able to fulfil the mating. It’s the first day of his heat he knows once he starts fucking you there’s no way he could muster the self control to pull out before he gets locked in your pussy.
”I-” Taehyung grunts when he bottoms out, your walls are hugging him warmly that he could cum right then and there if it weren’t for his thoughts. He’s forced to think about his pack members to keep his dick in check. Let’s think about unarousing things like Namjoon reading a book on the sofa or Jungkook yelling ’let’s get it’ before going on a run through the woods. Definitely working as he’s able to come back from his high. ”I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t think I can stop if I start.”
”You feel so good-” Taehyung swears under his breath when he feels your cunt tighten around him because his words turn you on. ”Fuck, I almost came just being inside you.”
You dare to chuckle while he has his cock in you that pisses his alpha wolf off. How dare you laugh and make fun of him when he’s stretching you out so greatly. Taehyung would laugh with you but his wolf is hungry for your submission he’s not letting you off the hook before you’re a moaning mess and beg him to let you cum. He’s in charge now, not your sweet Taehyung. The ends of your laugh turn to a moan when he slips out just to thurst back with greater force. If it weren’t for his hand around your waist you would have landed on your ass.
”Are you going to laugh now too?” The golden eyes remind you that he’s still deep in his lust filled mindset. You know a little about his switches. While his heat makes his wolf surface from the depth of his mind after you make him cum inside you and let his knot swell he’ll most likely go back to his dormant self and give back the blackness to his irises.
”N-No.” You shake your head.
Remembering what one of his pack members told you you bare your neck to him to show his wolf your submission. They told you this in passing as a bit of advice if someone attacks but you hope it can be applied in a situation like this as well.
Your vision blurs as he turns your body around to push you against the wall, the chains dig into your back but you don’t complain when the pleasure outdoes the pain. He thrust back into your inviting heat after he secured your new place. He keeps the slow pace but reaches deeper with each slap of your hips. Taehyung kisses your lips roughly while jerking your leg to curl it around his hips making the angle even deeper to satisfy the both of you equally. Your wanton moans are fueling him to keep fucking you letting out his own sounds of pleasure.
He could tell you’re nearing your high once again as you clamp down on his cock.
”I bet no male fucked you this good before. Are you going to cum this soon? I barely started and you’re getting so tight around my dick already.” He mocks you without the actual bite to his words he’s pleased with himself to make you cum so soon. Even as you’re itching to say he was about to blow his load as soon as he entered you you keep your mouth shut and moan louder to encourage him to finish you off. You don’t want to challenge an alpha.
”I want your cum. Please give it to me.” You keep convulsing around his length a telltale of your fast approaching orgasm even more blinding than the last as your thighs shake around his waist. Taehyung’s previous concern if you could handle his knot disappears as you keep pleading to release his load inside of you. Never wants to disappoint his mate Taehyung keeps up the fast pace outdoing each wet squelch your pussy makes with his low grunts against your ear.
He continues to fuck you like he means it. He doesn’t stop when you explode around him thrown into the biggest orgasm you’ve ever experienced making you numb to every other sensation that’s not sheer pleasure. It makes your blood boil and causes your eyes to roll back into your skull. Sensitivity hits you soon when he keeps fucking you fast and hard. Not even an ounce of doubt is there that you’ll have so many purple and green spots on your hips where he drags you across his cock.
He’s so hard inside you. Seems like he never gets tired as he pushes his cock in and out. Tethering around the edge of his orgasm when you feel the base of his shaft slightly swell against your opening. You know that he’s close but still fights against the knot. He fights the need to let his dick enlarge and lock you in place until he could paint your walls with his white cum.
”Let go. It’s ok.” You place a sweaty lock of hair behind his ears to gain his attention. His cock twitches inside as you kiss his temple Taehyung slows down his thrust to grinding to observe your expression and when he only sees your sincerity and love swimming in your blissful orbs he lets out a shaky exhale. He’s less animalistic with his thrusts than before he makes sure you feel good too as he drags his cock in and out.
He knows you won’t like it much when the base of his cock swells to prepare for his release. Taehyung doesn’t force himself to hold back anymore as now you can clearly feel the stretch bordering to be painful. Your walls are stretched to the limit but he’s still not there. Needs something more before he could go over the edge and let go. You force your hips to buck into his movements. Give his cock a tight fit as you make your muscles clench and bring him his well deserved release.  
”I want my alpha’s cum inside me. Want you so much, please.” Taehyung’s hips stills as you beg him to cum. Paired up with your sweet moans and his mate’s begging he comes with an outdrawn moan. Feeling the fullness you scratch his skin with your nails as you grip his back. Taehyung hisses at the pain but lets you hold onto him as he knows this is not the best feeling in the world. He peppers your face with kisses to distract you from the swelling and how much his cum make you feel a different kind of fullness. You try not to tense up but it’s hard as you never felt something like this before.
”Shh. So good. You take my knot so well. Just close your eyes and listen to your breathing. The pain will pass soon I promise.” You follow his instructions relaxing your muscles and focus on your shaky exhale. He’s not expanding anymore so you have time to get more accustomed to it. Taehyung does a good job of showering you with his affection. He keeps stroking your cheeks and caressing your stomach.
It takes thirty minutes in the position until you can separate. You curse yourself for kicking the key that far as you need to walk with Taehyung’s cum dripping down your legs. There’s so much coming out that you’re surprised your cunt could even store so much. Taehyung is smug as he watches you rub your legs with a towel, you don’t even want to think about the mess that’s on the floor.
”Let me help you beautiful.” You give him the towel and sit on the bed it’s only fair if he cleans you up considering it’s his cum that’s all over you but he surprises you by dropping the towel to the floor and instead crawl between your open legs.
”No, there’s no way I can cum again, you, animal.” The whiny edge of your voice only makes him chuckle into your soft inner thighs as he licks up a drop of his cum you left behind. He knows you’re tired that’s not what he’s trying to do even though the proposition is tempting.
”Relax I’ll just clean you.” Taehyung carefully licks your mixed cum still coming out of your spent pussy, rolling his tongue around your opening. He avoids your clit that makes it more believable that he’s not trying to rile you up again.
”Be a good girl and clench for me.” You do as he says without questioning him, the motion gets more of his cum to ooze out of you so that he can lick that as well. Realising his intention you blush a deep red to the tip of your ears. Fuck he’s so hot like this. Eating his own cum out of your pussy. If you wouldn’t feel too beat you would have definitely let him make you cum again. He flicks his tongue over your clit that would make your hips jump if he didn’t have his hands holding you down.
Once he’s done he kisses your quivering thighs and lets you close them with a gentle palm resting on your kneecap. Taehyung walks to the nightstand while you get under the warm covers, to pick a few tissues out of the box and get cleaned up as well.
You faintly feel his chest pressed against your back and two hands around your waist but you don’t open your eyes. There’s a dreamy smile on your face when you feel his lips press a light kiss to the crown of your hair. It’s hard to believe he’s the same person who has been fucking your brains out but you’re sure there’s still a gold hue around his eyes, reminding you that Taehyung and his wolf are not so separate as you sometimes think. He’s still your Taehyung at the end of the day.
You’re fast asleep as the exhaustion gnaws at your bones, there’s a heavy feeling that keeps your limbs from lifting a finger off the comforting bed and you succumb to the darkness.
Taehyung is up before you, it’s several hours later now with the sun nowhere near the horizon as the stars shine on the sky like small dots but you’re feeling as sore down there when it was still up. He knows you’re awake because there’s a spike in your heartbeat when he snuggles his nose to your pulse point. Taehyung feels more coherent than before his eyes are back to their perfect obsidian colour.
”Let me sleep a little more.” He wants to comply with your wishes but he’s so horny. He can’t wait another minute. He can smell his cum on you and it drives his senses crazy. If he closes his eyes and thinks hard enough he can still taste your arousal in his mouth. You’re such a delicious treat he wants to choke on your pussy and die as a happy man.
”Just let me put it in. I swear I’ll let you sleep a little longer.” You’re sceptical if he really has the self control for that but you still let him lift your leg and position his tip to your swollen entrance. He has enough precum smeared around his cock by his hands for the both of you to slip right in without the uncomfortable dry feeling.
His lips are close as you hear his moan directly hitting the shell of your ear. He sounds hot you admit it in your head. Your walls are still loose enough to take him in with one thrust no need for prepping you this time around. He pulls out halfway to push in just as softly testing the waters as he expects you to whine and remind him what he promised.  
”You’re such a liar Taehyung.” He sheepishly smiles into the crook of your neck but shamelessly starts a slow pace of his hips, driving his cock into you languidly.
”I can’t help it. You’re too irresistible and I’m still in heat.” You feel the need to roll your eyes.
”You won’t knot every time we have sex right?” You check with him as you move your hips in perfect sync. When you intentionally clench your walls around him he ruts his hips into you as thanks. Taehyung palms your ass under the covers careful not to lift it too high and let the cold air inside. He only wants you to shiver because his cock feels so good inside of you. His body heat makes you feel plenty of warmth though.
”No. I can control it later it’s just hard to hold back for the first time. I know you’re still sore I won’t knot again.”
You reward his words by pushing your ass against him clenching hard around his cock to make him moan.
”Pull out I want to ride you.” His fingers dig into your waist as soon as you tell him to pull out. He does and impatiently flips over to be on his back. Your eyes crinkle seeing his childish pout when you’re not moving fast enough to straddle him it’s comical since his cock is hard against his stomach with a pretty curve. It shouldn’t make you wonder how cute he is.
”Don’t pout. It should be me considering how hard your wolf made me cum just a few hours ago.” He knows you’re just messing with him you can practically see the wolf in him roll his eyes. You place a palm on his stomach with your other you fist the base of his cock to align it with your wetness playfully you rub his cock head up and down your slit letting the tip catch the hood of your clit and make the both of you moan.
”I’m certainly not calling him a puppy anymore.” Your smile is temporary as you choose that moment to sit down on his dick. It’s the best angle to show off how well you can take him even though it will be more tiring for you than for him as you’ll have to do all the work bouncing on his dick. He has a first class seat to watch your soaking wet folds stretch around his big cock. Or perhaps you have a first class seat to see him with his mouth open and pleasure hiding in every cervix of his expression.
”Fuck you feel even better now that my head is in the right place.” You let out a chuckle that if his wolf will be in control by this time you would have been flipped over to your back as he pounded into you like there’s no tomorrow. Instead, Taehyung shows you a smile in return. He places both hands on your love handles but doesn’t try to make you speed up he lets you have control, for now, that reminds you of something you discovered last time and you feel good enough to tease him about.
”You know Tae-” You start with a growing smirk that he can’t see while he moans with his eyes closed. ”I think you said something along the lines that ’I did a good job with following my alpha’s orders.’ does it spark recognition in you?” You lick your lips like a vixen. It’s impossible to not see the pink tinted cheeks. Unlike his other half, Taehyung is shy about showing you how much he likes when you call him your alpha.
”Is my alpha going to cum? Already?” You taunt him the same way he did. Taehyung’s cock twitches inside you at the name he loves how natural it sounds coming from you. He can feel the familiar tension build up in his muscles. You’re absolutely right that he’s close. Your pussy is so wet and tight around his length that it’s a miracle he could even last this long.
It’s good because you’re just a stroke behind to release as well. You cum first as Taehyung holds back like a gentleman. You ride out both of your highs until your leg muscles burn with the strain of riding his cock. You don’t know what to expect but you were hopeful he’ll have a little less load after that second orgasm when you took his knot. It’s his third orgasm but he still has so much cum that you need to take but without his knot to seal everything in place, it immediately started to flow out around his dick down to his balls and onto the sheets.
”Fuck. We’re a mess.” Even though all you want is to take a cold shower and get rid of all the stickiness either from the sweat or his cum you lean your forehead on Taehyung’s shoulder nuzzling up to him touching the sensitive part of his neck with your nose. Feeling how he shudders under you. He casually winds his arms around your form not bothered in the slightest by the mess you two made he’s just happy to have you in his arms. He knows it’s still not the time to talk about your feelings for each other at least until his heat entirely passes.
It’s the same routine for the remaining two days. You wake up to him either humping your ass or moaning so loudly while he masturbates right next to you on the bed that you have to lend him a helping hand. It’s a hard task to get him to do mundane things like eating and showering as all he wants to do is bury his dick in your pussy or eat said pussy.
After the third day, his heat is officially over. You were never one to say no to sex but you straight up told Taehyung to get ready for a dry two weeks because your lady parts need their recovery time. It’s a feat to drag yourself to the bathroom the next morning, you know one of the boys will stop by soon and you need to look like a human being again before that happens. You can’t even wash up without wincing in slight discomfort. Your pussy is so puffy and pink that you’re somewhat concerned.
Well, you did choose a werewolf as your boyfriend. At least there will be another couple of months before you have to deal with his horny ass again. The sex was great but you’re only human.
You soak yourself in warm water until your fingers turn to an old woman’s hands. You dress in one of Taehyung’s long t-shirts and boxers pulling your own pants over the fabric. You rummaged through his things as you didn’t plan to stay more than a day you didn’t have anything to wear and you weren’t going to pull your ruined underwear on your freshly showered body. Taehyung has enough change of clothes for the both of you, fortunately. It’s not like it will conceal much a wolf’s nose will easily tell that Taehyung’s scent is all over you. It’s a disturbing fact that they will be able to smell his cum on you so you try not to dwell on it too much.
Once you padded into the bedroom Taehyung looks at you from the bed with a lazy smile on his face. He greets you with a hoarse ’hi’ that would definitely have your panties in a twist if not all you two did was fucking for three straight days. Yeah, that’s not happening.
”Go shower and put some clothes on. Someone will be here soon to free us.” You peck his lips, catch him smile into the kiss as you start taming his curly locks with your fingers.
”It’s not like they haven’t seen me naked. Wait, are those my clothes?” His eyes grow big as he gives you a once over, you pleasantly smell like soap and his special scent mixed with yours. His big shirt is too big for you as it reaches just a little above your knees. You look good and smell like him that makes his heart flutter.
”I needed something to wear, you ruined mine.” You play with the end of his shirt, it’s big but comfy, you might just steal it.
”Anyway I’ll start on breakfast so go shower. I have your clothes already sorted out and placed on the counter for you in the bathroom.” Taehyung flashes you his boxy smile as you give him one last peck before you walk out the door to the stairs that will lead you to the kitchen. You know the cabinets are filled with food because one of the boys always make sure there’s enough before the date of someone’s heat.
Pancake butter is easy to mix and filling so you decide on that. Knowing that Taehyung must be famished after going like rabbits but not enough food to keep the enthusiasm now that there’s no longer a burning need to fuck you left and right.
You’re sore and exhausted and you didn’t even do most of the work you can’t imagine how sore his muscles must be.
You search for a medium sized pan thinking that it’s better to make smaller ones just like a snack. Soon the delicious smell of your pancakes lures your wolf boy into the kitchen. Freshly showered there’s still droplets of water clinging to his skin as he hugs you from behind.
”Smells great.” He hums, with one hand he pushes your hair to your other shoulder so he can kiss the skin there.
”I’m almost done.” You nod to the pile of food on one plate. ”You can have some if you’re hungry.”
It’s filled with honey brown coloured pancakes smelling indeed delicious. Taehyung doesn’t let you go even when you accidentally jab him in the rib while flipping a pancake on their other side.
”Oh I wasn’t talking about the pancakes baby.” He emphasizes his words by licking the patch of skin where your neck meets your shoulder, watching the goosebumps cover your heated skin not a moment after. You can feel his shit eating grin pressed onto your shoulder.
”Don’t even try if I have your hands wandering anywhere near my pussy I’ll push my boots up your butt.”
You feel Taehyung’s body shake as he laughs. He pats your hip twice before letting you go with his hands up in the air in a defensive stance just to humour you further.
”Yes, Ma’am.”
Your light hearted banter is interrupted by a key turning in the lock. Taehyung’s sensitive ear hears it first while you only realise there’s someone else in the house when his black mop of hair sticks through the kitchen door.
”Nice to see you two alive.” You should have guessed it will be Jungkook to check up on him. For a while, as you serve the pancakes for the boys you don’t realise that he addressed the both of you.
”Hey Kook. Why you don’t look surprised to see me here?” Taehyung perks up as well. It’s not like the boys had no idea Taehyung has feelings for you for them it was quite obvious from the get go.
”Ah right. We called you a million times so we went to your apartment to see if you were alright and your roommate told us that you went to see Taehyung at the cabin so we kind of put two and two together you know.” You think it makes sense, you’re friends with them it’s not unusual for them to call you for whatever reason.
Jungkook doubles over with laughter when you tell him what happened. Tears are streaming down his face by the time you tell him how his wolf hid the keys to the front door. It seems to happen ages ago while it was just approximately four days before today. You left out that part when he playfully choked you in the living room and you were dead set on not telling anything about your sexual adventures to his packmate.
You threaten Taehyung with not having sex with him for a month if he even thinks about telling your mutual friends about it. It shut him up immediately that kinda makes you smug.
You go back separately from the cabin Jungkook lets you take his car while he rides with Taehyung back to the packhouse. He kisses you goodbye with a promise to talk to you about everything later when you finish work and he’s done with his duties as an alpha.
You’re late by a minute to work but even your grumpy friend from the coffee shop you work at can’t make the smile disappear off your face. She regards you with narrowed eyes before she sniffs the air around you and crunches her nose in disgust. Right, you sometimes forget that she’s a wolf too. She probably sensed the sudden change in your scent that’s why she was looking you up and down with a scowl.
”You smell like you were just dicked down by an alpha.” Your face heats up at her blunt words but a customer saves you from having to answer her immediately as you take the patron’s order and silently start making a frappuccino with extra shots. Unfortunately, it’s still the morning so not many people come by and get their coffee it leaves plenty of time for her to interrogate you.
”Who is it?” Mina asks as soon as the boy leaves the shop with a cup. You know she’ll breathe down your neck if you prolong answering her so you turn around and start making your latte.
”I’ll answer your questions after I have my coffee. Everything hurts Mina. I don’t think I can ever get wet at this point.” She knows what you’re talking about it’s even taxing on a shewolf’s body not to mention that you’re just a fragile little human. She’s actually impressed that you had the energy to come to work today.
Mina only waits till you have the first sip of your coffee to bombard you with questions again.
”Wait till you come off your contraception pills. Their breeding kink is no joke I’m telling you.” You share a laugh however considering that she’s Jimin’s mate you don’t doubt the truth behind her words.
”Taehyung’s kink is to be called alpha in bed. He almost came just when I mentioned it.” The coffee Mina slurped on comes out of her nose. She wheezes at the mention of Taehyung. Oops, maybe you left out that part.
”Holy shit. You fucked Kim Taehyung?” You side eye her with a glare to keep her voice down, you don’t need to make sure the whole shop hears that you fucked your best friend. Not that the couple or that old lady knows who the fuck is Kim Taehyung.
”It’s crazy actually. His wolf hid the key to the door so I chained him up but then he kinda confessed that he’s in love with me and then I made him cry and you know… the rest is history.” She can tell that you’re quite guilty in that aspect so she pats your shoulder like an older sister who’s about to share the world’s wisdom with you.
”It’s not a big deal he cried Y/N, horny wolves are emotional wolves. Jimin cried after I told him he can fuck a baby into me.” It does make you feel better as the rest of your shift goes well. There was one rude customer who complained about his coffee being ’too hot’ but even that wasn’t enough to sour your mood. Taehyung likes you and that’s all you need to know.
”How’s that baby making going for you?” You ask her once the rush hour passes by and things get slow having only one or two people wandering in to order something.
”Ugh. Don’t even want to think about it. As soon as I get home he’s waiting there with his stupid sparkly eyes and his hard dick in one hand telling me how pretty I’ll be with his pups inside my belly. He was always a horny fuck but as soon as I gave him the green light to have our own family that’s all he’s thinking about.” You pat her back encouragingly as she rants. A few days ago you wouldn’t see why it’s a bad thing that Jimin has a one track mind as sex feels amazing but after Taehyung’s heat, you can understand her struggle.
”Tell him to give you some time to recover I’m sure he’ll understand. It needs to feel nice for you as well conceiving a child should be filled with lovemaking and not thinking about when he’ll jump your bones again.” Mina knows that you’re right but she’s afraid he’ll take it the wrong way and think that she changed her mind which she didn’t.
”I’ll talk to him tonight.” She tells you with conviction in her voice. When Mina is thinking she has this adorable pout on that just calls out to you to pinch them. The world is truly unfair to pair up two beautiful people like them to be mates. Now you can say that without meaning it as you snatched an equally as attractive mate for yourself. You can still hardly believe that you can associate your best friend with that word it seems too good to be true. Straight out of your dreams.
You arrive at the packhouse with Mina in different cars. She promised to drive you to your place after you leave Jungkook’s car just like you promised the boy that he won’t be late for the gym the next morning since you hogged his only means of transport. You call bullshit but in the end, you still let him have his bratty way. Mina is immediately swept off her feet by Jimin he could smell her from miles away. You could never surprise werewolves as their nose is so sensitive to smells after the first five tries you gave up organising surprise parties as they were never surprised to see you.
”Hi baby.” You blacked out for a minute when Taehyung pecked your lips to greet you. It’s something you’re looking forward to getting used to. You smile at each other like fools but what can you say. You are a happy fool.
”I’m still in shock that Y/N and Taehyung are a thing now.” Jimin next to you giggles into her girlfriend’s neck.
”Yeah can you go back to your oblivious pinning? I’m getting sick of these Lovely Dovey couples all around me.” Jungkook interjects but there’s no real bite to his words you know that he’s happy for the both of you. It doesn’t mean he’s not going to tease the shit out of the both of you.
”I smell a Y/N. Is that-” Jin emerges from the room next door with a neatly tied apron around his waist. He stops to regard you from head to toe sniffing the air before his eyes go big. ”Why do I smell Taehyung’s cum on you?” The horror on your face makes the males around you laugh so hard that Hoseok who has been silent so far rolls down the sofa holding his stomach. Even Mina joins in rather than helping you to save some of your dignity in front of your friends.
”But I showered twice!” You shrink under their gazes as a last resort you bury your face into Taehyung’s t-shirt who finally tells the boys to stop with their teasing. Ohhs and ahhs filling the air as he scoops in to play the knight in shining armour for you.
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stardustchordssammy · a month ago
Unexpected Friendship
A/N: Hey! Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors. I am far too lazy to re-check and edit right now. This has been in my drafts for weeks and I want it gone! Sorry if it's a little messy!
Pairing: f!reader x Sam
Summary: The reader and Sam have never been the best of friends. One night left alone changes that. Classic enemies to lovers trope.
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, alcohol use, strong language, smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, etc.
Word count: 12k+
✿ ✿ ✿
It's barely brushing Winter now, but you first met Sam in the Spring. One would think that by now, the ice would thaw with the heat of the Summer and stay melted as the months passed on. But, as it turns out, the connection you two share only grew thicker layers of ice as time continued.
You're not exactly sure when or where or why it started, you and Sam have always had some sort of tension separating the two of you. Part of you believed that it was when he first landed his eyes on you, he made the decision that he would make everything miserable for you. Another part of you thinks he's just bored and finds amusement in being an annoyance. Then there's Danny's idea that you two are just not compatible and that's “alright”.
But even people who didn't mesh very well together could be adult enough to make some resolutions. Not you and Sam though. No matter how difficult it made situations, neither of you were ever willing to compromise. You couldn't even sit beside each other at dinner or stand near one another at parties, that's how much you hated each other. And there are few things in the world that you hated, but when you check your list Sam is always at the top.
Arrogant is the first word that comes to mind whenever you hear his name. Yes, he was very smart, you can give him that, but your respect for his intelligence diminishes the second he gets cocky which is basically whenever he opens his mouth. He knew so much, and normally you like that about a guy and tend to lean in when they explain something or tell facts you have never heard. But Sam had this matter-of-fact composure that makes you lose interest immediately. That 'well, duh' look in his brown eyes when you say 'really?'.
You hated that.
What you didn't know is that Sam from time to time would find your interest endearing. You like music and he does too but on a much different level. Music for you was on your commute to and from work, singing along to songs that don't have much meaning but are fun to listen to. But music to Sam was like the sun to flowers. He breathes it in, and it energizes him, keeps him growing. To you, Sam knows everything about music and you wished you knew just as much as him, maybe even a little more. The main reason is so you could give him that "I already knew that" look in your eyes when he told stories about a certain old rock band. But, deep down, whether you know it or not (which you don't), you really just want to be able to have a nice, long conversation with him.
And it didn't just have to be about music it could be about anything. Sure, music was a common topic, especially whenever the band was around, like tonight. But you would love to chat about books and art and movies and current events and poetry and even stupid stuff like what wine goes best with a particular dish and everything else in between with Sam.
Though, you would never admit it. And even though he is likewise, he'd never tell a soul either.
"I think we should just lock you two up in an empty room and see what happens." Mackenzi jokes, standing beside you at the kitchen sink.
Tonight everyone had gotten together for a late New Year’s dinner. Some friends had gone out of town, others were spending time with family during the holidays, so a week after New Year’s Day everyone decided to join up for a dinner at your house. Of course, that meant Sam was invited as well, as much as you didn't want to have him over, it was inevitable. Sam was Josh and Jake's younger brother, who you were good friends with. And basically, wherever they went, Sam was coming along too.
By now everyone besides Mackenzi and the boys had already left.
"Leave a rope behind," you roll your eyes, taking a wet plate from her hand and drying it off. She looks up at you with a raised eyebrow as you continue, "so I can hang himself."
She snorts a laugh, shaking her head as she scrubs a plate in the sudsy water, "I was thinking maybe leaving some wine, lube, and a mattress would be a better option."
Your jaw drops, and your face turns red. The very thought of being intimate like that with Sam made your whole body heat up, whether it was from disgust or desire, you weren't quite sure.
There had been times, very few, where you had found Sam a little attractive. You couldn't deny it, he had a great smile and pretty eyes, certain pictures on his Instagram would make your heart flutter just a little. But you would never share that secret with anyone ever. Besides, the attraction would diminish completely as soon as he started talking. You preferred a good personality over looks anyway.
"Don't ever make me think of that ever again." You fake a gag, glaring at her while she snickers, passing the plate to you.
"I'm just saying," she shrugs, "I've seen the way he looks at you sometimes. All that tension, you two might just need to fuck it out."
You don't stop yourself from hitting her upper arm with the back of your hand with a frown. The look you give her silently says 'what the fuck is wrong with you?'. She looks to you with a face of innocence, though you can see right through it, before flicking some water at you. You turn away from her small splashes, grabbing another plate to dry before setting it away.
Then, she goes back to talking about some restaurant Danny has been telling her they needed to try. You nod along, but you're not really listening, couldn't repeat anything she said back to her if she asked. Your mind was stuck on the previous conversation.
What if she's right? What if all this tension is just sexual?
We're you opposed to the idea? It really depended on whether or not he was for or against it.
"Hello? Earth to Y/N?" She waves a soapy hand in front of your face, shoving a cup in your hands for you to dry off, "You didn't hear a word I said, did you?"
"Nope." You don't try to make an excuse.
"Thinking about that hypothetical hookup." She grins, making your head reel in annoyance.
Mackenzi definitely wasn't wrong though, she could always read right through you. She could practically read your mind.
Before you even have the chance to redeem yourself, in walks a pair of boys, one slipping behind Mackenzi and wrapping his arms around her waist. The topic between you and Mackenzi is dropped, not wanting any of the guys to hear what conversation you were just having. A fond smile slips onto your face as you look back and see Danny kiss the top of her head, and well as a twinge of envy bubbles in your stomach. Not that you wanted Danny, of course not, he has always been considered just a friend, but that craving of affection and intimacy was unbearable. It had been quite a long time since someone gave you a loving touch.
Then you look over to your right to see Jake lean back against the counter and stick his tongue out, pretending to retch in faux disgust. The two of you snicker together while you place the dry cup down, waiting for your next dish to dry.
"Would your neighbors hate us if we set off some left-over fireworks from New Years, Y/N?" Jake asks, and your mouth twists into a grin.
You take another wet cup from Mackenzi and begin drying it off, glancing at him as you do so, "You all brought fireworks?"
"Well, no," Danny steps away from his girlfriend and comes to stand beside Jake so you can look at the both of them, "but I have some back at my place. You have the perfect backyard to set them off: lots of space and not a lot of trees."
You sigh, looking over to Mackenzi who shrugs, "You know wherever these boys go, anything with the word 'fire' in it is bound to follow."
This makes you laugh and nod in agreement, finishing up the cup and setting it down. All the dishes are finished being washed now, so Mackenzi pulls the plug and lets the water drain. You think it over while draping the dish towel on the oven handle, weighing the pros and cons even though there were very few cons.
Your neighbors to the right had gone out of town for the holidays and still weren't back, you knew this because they asked you to water their plants for them while they are away. The ones to the left were around your age and pretty lenient, sometimes you'd even invite them to the parties you were throwing. You decided you would give them a call to let them know a few fireworks were gonna go off soon. There were no close-by neighbors that had dogs or cats, so that wasn't a worry, plus the majority of the neighborhood has been setting off fireworks from New Years the whole week anyway.
"Okay," you nod, crossing your arms, "I think we'll be good."
Jake lets out a celebratory whoop as Danny claps his hands together in success. Mackenzi grins over at you, but there's a hint of mischievousness in her eyes. Over the time you've been friends with her, you've come to memorize her certain habits and looks, what she did when she was nervous or how she looked when she was lying. You can't help but wonder what she's up to. She was definitely up to something.
"I'll go with." She says, running out of the room to grab her coat.
You frown, looking to Danny, who shrugs innocently, then Jake who does the same. Something was up. Then in walks Josh with his coat already on, and your furrow deepens.
"Are you all gonna go?" You ask, walking after Mackenzi to stop her.
The boys follow behind you, coming up with excuses as to why they all had to go to Danny's to get the fireworks, but you just ignore them. Catching Mackenzi in the hallway with her coat halfway on, you stop her. She smiles at you softly, faking a confused look.
"Why do four people have to go get fireworks?" You ask, crossing your arms.
"Wait, where are you all going?"
Of course, in comes the one person you've been avoiding all night. Part of you hopes he'll go with them; god forbid they leave just you and Sam behind. You glance to him and he's staring at Mackenzi who is looking in the between the two of you, wracking her brain for an answer.
"To get fireworks," she answers Sam first, then looks to you, "and they're.... heavy?"
You scoff and shake your head, flatly letting out an unamused, "Really?"
"Hey, we'll stop and get some champagne while we're out. We are celebrating the new year after all, right?" Jake suggests, putting his hand on your shoulder and pulling you back so Mackenzi can put her coat on the rest of the way.
"Oh," Sam chimes in and walks around to get his own coat, "well in that case I should go with you all as well, picking out champagne is a very important decision and you need-"
"There's not enough room in the car." Danny interrupts him. You and Sam both give him a frown. The average car has up to at least five seats, Danny's should have plenty of space for another person.
"Uh," Sam shakes his head, "since when?"
"We'll we can't just leave Y/N behind right?" He replies too quick, "I only have five seats. There's six people."
You shake your head, "No really it's okay he can go-"
"No," Josh interrupts, "three is a party, four is... I don't know a party plus one. Fours enough."
Normally you'd laugh at Josh's response but your too concerned with the thought of having to be with just Sam.
"We'll if anyone is to stay with Y/N I believe Mackenzi is the most equipped for that job." Sam says and you nod in agreement.
This is one of the very few moments you and Sam have ever been on the same page.
"Sam is right, Mac, just stay." You grab her arm and pull gently but she shakes her head, giving you a stern look before a tight-lipped smile.
Then you realize what's going on. This is what they are up to. This is why she mentioned that ‘hypothetical hookup’. This is what that look from early was about. You wanted to rip her head off. Your face sours and you shake your head, dragging her back to the kitchen and standing in front of her.
"Seriously?" You hiss in a hushed voice.
She rolls her eyes, whispering back, "I'm sure you can deal with thirty minutes of Sam, Y/N. You're acting childish."
"I'm childish?" Your jaw drops and you shake your head and start talking with your hands, a natural habit you develop whenever you're upset, "This little ploy you all created is childish. Are there even fireworks or is that just another lie to lock us up together?"
"You'll thank us later, okay? And if it's really as awful as you think it's gonna be, I promise to never push the subject ever again." She says, placing her hands on your sweater clad arms.
You take a deep breath. This was all so ridiculous you couldn't believe that actual full-grown adults were doing this to you. That adults produced this idea and actually planned it out.
From the kitchen you can hear the hushed voices of the boys in the other room, having a much similar conversation as you and Mackenzi. With a sigh, you shake your head and shrug in defeat. It was only going to be thirty minutes. You can handle thirty minutes with Sam.
The question was, is he going to be able to handle thirty minutes with you?
"Okay," you finally say, and she pulls you into a hug and you mumble against her thick coat, "you all better actually get champagne or so help me-"
"We'll get you champagne." She laughs, pulling back and patting your cheek softly with an excited smile, "You better actually talk to him."
"Depends on if he even responds." You roll your eyes, stepping back and letting her walk of the kitchen, her heeled boots clicking against the tile.
You stay behind, staring at your shoes and listening to the group say goodbye to Sam who isn't even trying to hide his complaints at this point. Then, with the click of the front door and a groan from him, silence. You take another deep breath and list a bunch of ways to avoid Sam.
You could just stay in the kitchen for thirty minutes, but there's only so much to keep you occupied in here. Eventually, you'll get bored. Another minute goes by, and you remember you need to give your neighbors a ring, so you head out of the kitchen in search of your phone.
Walking down the hall and through the living room, you spot Sam staring at your record player and vinyl collection. It's not nearly as large as his and the other boys, but a tiny part of you hopes he finds it a little impressive. Then you frown at yourself and wonder why in the world you care about what Sam thinks about your records. You continue to your room, going to your dresser where you thought you last left your phone, but it's not there. You stall for a second, panning the room in hopes of you misplacing it somewhere else in there, but when you search your bed and side table it isn't there either. With a huff you exit and go back into the living room where Sam is still scanning through your records. As long as he doesn't touch anything while he's occupied and leaving you alone, you're fine.
You go back to the kitchen, thinking you might have left it on the table or counter in there, but the room is vacant of your phone. You’re starting to get irritated, and something makes you think that Mackenzi is behind this as well, hiding your phone on purpose so you have to interact with Sam in order to find it. Well, tonight she's getting her way you decide as you stalk back to the living room.
"Why're you pacing?" Sam asks as soon as you step foot into the room, not merely glancing to you when he talks.
It makes your blood boil. Firstly, because he's bold enough to ask you why you're ‘pacing’ in your own damn house, and secondly, having the audacity to not even look at you when he's talking. You bite your tongue, holding back all the true words you want to say to him.
"I can’t find my phone." You reply flatly. He still doesn't look over at you when you cross your arms and sigh out, almost defeatedly, "Can you call it for me?"
At first you're expecting him to laugh and tell you he doesn't have your phone number, but that's impossible due to the many group chats the two of you are in together. One of the perks of having mutual friends with your enemy. So, with a heavy sigh (surely one of annoyance) he pulls his phone from his pocket and backs away from the shelves, dialing your number.
You both look around the room, dimly lit from your Christmas tree still being up, when the vibrating starts. It's in the couch, and the two of you start for it, digging between the cushions to find the cellphone. Of course, Sam finds it first and of course he checks his contact’s name. Your confused at first when he looks at the screen and grins, looking to you with a cocked eyebrow.
"What?" You frown, reaching for your phone, but he pulls back and turns the screen to show you.
Your face turns red.
"Last time I checked, my parents didn't name me 'asshole'." He sneers, a smirk sizzling on his plump lips.
Lunging forward, you reach for your phone once more, but he holds it up out of reach. Frowning, you grab his arm, and try to pull it down but he takes your wrist and pulls it away, making you stand on your toes and strain for it. He's chuckling the whole time as you grow frustrated, his laugh sounding like a villain from a movie to you. His body is pressed to yours, and you don't become aware of it until his arm lowers slightly, almost purposefully, so you can grab it and rip it from his grasp.
Then you quickly step back and look to him with a glare and end the call. He sports a lopsided grin and pink cheeks and it's cute but it's Sam and your body burns. Are you angry at him or do you want to feel his chest pressed to yours like that again?
"They should have." You mumble, your face getting hotter with every passing second as you think back to moment just before.
He scoffs, rolling his eyes, "Oh yes, I'm a huge asshole for helping you find your phone, aren't I, Y/N."
You exit the room without thanking him, ignoring him completely and beginning to dial your neighbors number. In your bedroom you sit on the bed and wait for him to pick up, and when he does you go over what you have planned for that night. He's quick to comply, saying that him and his roommates won't mind and tells you to have fun and be safe. Then, you hang up and flop back onto your bed.
How long has it been since the rest of them left? You check your phone and it's been seven minutes. Seven lousy, terribly long minutes.
With a sigh you place your phone on its charger and head back out into the living room. Sam's still focused on the records, but he knows your back in the room without even seeing you.
"You've got some good albums." He hums, bending at the waist to study the spines closer.
The feeling of pride swelling in your chest is unavoidable. Sam complimenting your vinyl selection was like Donatello Versace telling someone she likes their shoes; the expert praising the rookie. You don't want him to know you care about what he thinks.
So, you shrug, letting out a short "thanks" as you make your way around the coffee table towards him. Something was drawing you to where he stood, you wanted to see which records he was complimenting. He glanced at you from the corner of his eye before back to the record, sliding his slender finger over the spine of an album before delicately pulling it out. It's Simon and Garfunkel.
"I didn't know you like them." You speak gently, clasping your hands together in front of your waist and watching his fingers flip the album to stare at the track list.
He lets out a soft 'hmph' as he shrugs, adding, "Well, they're not my favorite, but out of selection you have I'd say either this or your Bob Dylan is the best record on the shelf."
His words are like a soft hit to the chest. What was that supposed to mean? First, he's saying you have good albums and now he's saying your selection is so-so.
Your eyes roll automatically, "Yeah, I know my collection is nothing like yours."
It's a true statement, Sam had records for days, but your words are bitter, and it makes his eyes flicker to you. He likes it when you get worked up, just like earlier when you were trying to get your phone. He enjoys pushing your buttons, ruffling your feathers. That look in your eyes, the tint of color to your face whenever you got a little irritated. Not only did he find enjoyment in it, but it turned him on a bit too. Sam especially enjoys when you roll your eyes at him.
"Yeah," he breathes a chuckle, slipping the record randomly back in between the others, not bothering to put it back in its original spot which makes your face drop in annoyance, before continuing, "to be honest you have a bunch of shitty ones."
You shoot him a glare which he pretends not to see but it makes him flash a wild grin as you step in front of him, grabbing the Simon and Garfunkel record and placing it back into its respective spot. He stands close behind you with a hint of nonchalance, like he didn't care your back was inches away from his front. But really, he wanted to pull you closer to him by the hips and move your hair from your neck so he could slot his face-
"They're not shitty." You interrupt his daydream by stepping away and facing him.
This makes him scoff, "But they're all greatest hits, and half of them are pop."
You place your hands on your hips, ignoring the way his Adam's apple bobs when he looks you over, "Well they're the greatest for a reason."
Another laugh for him, "Because not enough people have intellect to decipher what real good music is, Y/N."
You could go on for days arguing with Sam about this topic. He loved to speak ill of pop music and how all music needs to be meaningful and that there's a certain way to listen to music. While you agree that some music should have a deeper meaning, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to just dance to a song and have to know the meaning. There was nothing wrong with blasting Britney Spears and dancing on a table. But, instead of challenging him, you decide to have a little of your own fun.
"Oh yeah, bad music is all I listen to," you brush past him to the other end of your shelf and pull out three records, holding them out to him with a smirk, "which is exactly why I own these three."
He looks to you questioningly, then looks down at the albums. His lips twist into a grin and a genuine chuckle falls from them, not one laced with sarcasm or evilness, a genuine laugh. You bite your lip, stifling a giggle of your own while he looks up to you and shakes his head.
"I've heard of these guys," he smirks, picking up one of the three records, Battle Of Gardens Gate, flipping it so the cover is facing you, "they're just a Zep rip off. Absolute garbage."
"Terrible," you joke back, taking a step forward, "especially the bassist."
A quick breath is exhaled through his nose in a laugh, and his eyes are locked on yours again as he hums in an undertone, "Yeah, he's the worst."
For some reason you can't tear your eyes away from his. The colorful glow from the lights on the tree makes him look warm and inviting. This cannot be the same Sam you know who drives you up the wall and makes your skin crawl from just the sound of his voice. He must have been replaced when you left the room for the phone call. Why else would you be staring at his face, wondering what it would look like centimeters away from your own.
Stop it.
You clear your throat, looking to turntable then back to the record in his hand. He swallows thickly, blinking softly and hands it back to you, letting you put the albums back on the shelf. When you turn away from him, he doesn't stop himself from slyly looking you over once again. He likes your outfit tonight, a black turtleneck and a short skirt with sheer tights beneath. Your boots added and extra few inches to your height, so when you were facing him he didn't have to look downward as much to meet your eyes, he'd only have to bend his neck a tad to touch your lips with his own.
"You know," Sam speaks before he even knows what he's going to say, but you're already looking over at him so he makes up something quickly, "it's not too late for me to introduce you to some good music, Y/N."
There he goes again with that arrogant voice, but you decide this time to analyze his words. Instead of focusing on his potential insult of your music taste, you focus on his offer to recommend some songs for you.
So you turn, and shrug and nod and it catches him off guard especially when you say, "I'd like that a lot, actually. Who should I listen to?"
His lips part slightly from shock. You actually wanted to listen to the music he likes? Of course, you did, and sometimes secretly you would. After a kickback where Sam would go on some tangent about his most recent music obsession, you'd get home and open Spotify to play one of their albums and see what all the fuss was about. And most of the time, you'd really enjoy the music. The sound of your soft laugh shakes him from his surprise, and he smiles bashfully at you. Oh, now he's suddenly turning coy in front of you. Was he nervous? Perhaps. He didn't actually think you would want to hear what he wanted to recommend. He stuffs his hands in his front pockets and looks down to his feet.
"Uh, I think you'd maybe like, I don't know..." he's blanking it's making the back of his neck heat up and your smile widen. You were making him nervous, so he quickly comes up with, "maybe, like, some Joni Mitchell?"
Your jaw drops and you can't help but laugh, "You really think I've never listened to Joni Mitchell?"
Sam looks to you like a lost puppy and you chuckle, shaking your head at him.
Maybe you and Sam had more in common when it came to music than either of you had thought.
"Just because I don't have her on vinyl doesn't mean I don't listen to her, Sam." You say in between laughs, reaching forward and brushing his arm with your hand.
He looks down to where you touched him lightly then back to you with a sheepish grin. "Oh," is all he says before joining in on the laughter.
You look away, waiting for him to say something else but he stays quiet. Not wanting the conversation to end, you speak up, "Do you want another drink? I can go pour us some while you put on a record?"
He nods in agreement, watching you glide out of the room, a slight skip in your step. He's never seen you so relaxed around him, happy almost. And as much as he likes your irritated frown, he loves your soft smile more. It makes his stomach get this feeling like he's about to go on stage, a bit of nerves and excitement, and when you’re out of the room he yearns to see your smile again.
How did tonight go from you two at each other's throats to drinking together?
In the kitchen, you zip around trying to decide what the drink should be. You never paid attention to what Sam drank, sometimes he'd go for wine and other nights he'd be seen with a beer. Was he a cocktail guy? There was that one rant he went on about margaritas...
A crackle sounds from the stereo, then the soft abrupt sound of a trumpet playing followed by a gentle piano and deep double bass. There's a smile stretching over your lips, you really only played this album for background music. It was an impulse buy in the gently used section of the record store you'd pop into from time to time. Jazz was not your main genre, but who can hate jazz music? Chet Baker was an unknown musician to you, but boy could he keep you company while he played that trumpet through the speakers in your living room.
You can't help but sway to the distant music, and you find yourself dancing more than bartending. Sam is in the kitchen now, his shoes pad across the floor and he comes to stand beside you at the counter, moving side to side to the beat in time with you. If anyone saw you two through the window above the sink, surely, they'd think this was a sweet couple enjoying their evening together. Well, one of those two assumptions would be true. How odd it was that you were actually enjoying the evening with Sam Kiszka.
"Ya like jazz?" He's leaning his elbow against the countertop, no doubt quoting Jerry Seinfeld from the Bee Movie.
You snort a laugh and cover your mouth with a hand, but nod nonetheless, "Love jazz. Even though this is my only jazz album."
"Noticed," he smirks, standing upright again.
You want to roll your eyes but instead ask, "Um, what do you wanna drink? I don't really know what you like."
"What do you have?"
"I have some vodka." You shrug, moving to grab the liquor from the cabinet you store it in.
He takes it from your hand, staring at it and shrugging, looking to you with eyes that make your heart skip a beat. If Sam had always looked at you like that, perhaps you would have never hated his guts in the first place. Then again, maybe he has looked at you like that many times before you were just too busy hating him to ever notice.
"How about," he hums, stepping in front of the spot you were once standing in and looking down at you from the side, "I be the bartender tonight and you keep me company."
You grin and nod, finding a spot on the counter to sit and watching him get to work. And the two of you talk. Conversations about books and poetry and films flow and a chat about what's going on in the news is followed by what wine goes with which dish. Then you’re debating if red wine is better than white, but not in that cutthroat way you two used to debate. No, this debate is full of giggles and jokes and looks that makes your heart melt as well as his. He is on the side of red while you prefer white. In the end, you both agree to disagree. Aside from your difference on wine choice, you and Sam have far more than you expected in common.
You two could have been friends this whole time.
Before you know it, the drinks are ready and the two of you are migrating back to the living room with glasses in hand. Instead of taking a seat on the sofa, the two of you opt for the floor in front of the stereo set so when the record needs to be flipped to the B-side neither of you will have to move very far.
"It's way darker in here now, do you want me to turn on a light?" You ask, settling in front of him on the rug.
The tree lights the room just enough for you to see him shake his head, "Nah, this is nice. A nice ambience."
You chuckle and nod. It was nice, the dimness. It felt comfortable to sit in a dark room and listen to jazz, it added to the experience, like you were actually in a jazz club. You giggle aloud at the thought, visiting a jazz club with Sam, but when he looks to you with a confused smile you grow fond of the idea.
You shake your head at your random laugh, lifting your glass for him to clink his against, "To.... Jazz?"
"Jazz and" he lifts his glass in front of yours but doesn't clink it, smiling softly at you, "unexpected friendship?"
"To jazz and unexpected friendship." You nod once, tapping your glass against his before the two of you take your first sips.
He watches you over the rim of his glass, smiling against the lip when you hum in approval. He ended making vodka cranberries because of your lack of ingredients, but they tasted good even so. You look up at him, swiping your tongue over your upper lip where excess liquid rested.
Sam's eyes are glued to your mouth, loving the shade of lipstick you chose for tonight. He never notices stuff like that but with you in front of him he can't help but study your face and the makeup you wore. He thought you look lovely.
"I have a confession." You smile softly, looking down at the rug under you and holding the drink in both your hands.
He looks at you normally, taking another sip and nods expectantly, "Yeah?"
"Mhm," you hum and nod, smiling nervously as you shake your head, "it's really stupid but, I think I've always liked you, I was just jealous."
Covering your mouth with a hand, you smile behind the palm and avoid his eyes. He smiles toothily at you, setting his cup down and crossing his arms over his chest. Part of him wants to say 'I knew it all along' but that would be a lie.
So he takes a breath and says, "Well, I have always liked you too but I was afraid of what you would think."
"Oh my god," you throw your head back laughing which makes his smile grow.
Involuntarily you draw your knees to your chest and Sam's breath gets caught, averting his eyes as you skirt flips up. After the appetizer drinks and drinks during dinner and now this cocktail, you were definitely too tipsy to notice how exposed you were. But at the same time, you were entirely comfortable sitting there with Sam to really care.
You put your legs back down and lean over to him, "So, what you're saying is we could have skipped all the arguments, all the childishness and been listening to good jazz this entire time?"
He grins and leans in too, "This whole time we could have been friends."
"Wow." You sigh, your eyes flickering over his facial features, from his chin to his lips and nose then his eyes, before leaning back, "We're idiots."
"Yeah." He replies, mirroring your position by leaning back himself.
He's still such an idiot, and so are you. Because here you both are, sat across each other listening to soft jazz and sharing a drink and talking about how much you like each other and it's so painfully obvious that it isn't a friendly like. The like you feel is the kind that wants to put your lips on his and the like he feels is the same. Both of you are oblivious.
There's a quietness now, it's as though even the record knows there is a lull in the conversation and wants to add to the awkwardness by quieting down. You start to fidget, sipping your cocktail nervously and rubbing your hands down the front of your skirt. Sam finds the ice in his drink far too interesting for him to really care.
Had it been thirty minutes yet? A piece of you wants Mackenzi and the others to come bursting through the door so the silence is interrupted. But then again, you don't want to stop listening to album with Sam just yet.
He draws in a breath that catches your attention, rubbing a hand through his hair saying, "I have another, um, confession. Well, I guess it's more of a request than a confession but um...."
He trails off when he looks up to you. Your eyes are eager and cheeks rosy, scooting a bit closer to him and resting your hands in your lap. He's forgotten how to form words for a second when you nod your head slowly, wanting him to go on but he can't move his tongue. He's debating whether or not he should really say it. There's that chance that he's read the mood wrong, and you decline, but there's also that chance where you feel the same. It's a 50/50 chance and there's ticking clock with not much time left on it, the group could be back any second now.
"Yeah?" You encourage him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
He swallows thickly then finally spits it out, "Will you please just kiss me?"
Your lips part and you stare at him, trying your best to hide your excitement. Did he really just say that? The Sam that always annoyed you just to make you mad even though he secretly liked you the whole time just asked you to kiss him. What will your answer be?
"Okay." You nod, licking your lips and setting your drink down on the floor next to him.
It's as if someone was watching this scene play out on a television at home and hit the slow-motion button, because everything seemed to be dragging out. You move to your knees so you can be closer to him and hesitantly reach your hands out to cup his face. Never have you touched Sam like this, you can't even recall a moment you hugged him because you probably haven't. He places his hands on top of your yours and you start moving in, your eyes fluttering closed which he takes as a sign to do as well. Then, your lips just barely ghost his before he pushes forward and closes the gap.
The kiss and slowly and lingering, your mouths molding against one another's gently. He didn't want to take it too fast and neither do you. So, after a few seconds of an innocent kiss, you pull away an inch. Your eyes are still closed but he's looking at you, tasting your lipstick on his tongue and moving his hands to hold your face instead of your hands.
"Y/N," he whispers and you open your eyes finally, "when do you think they'll be back?"
You smile and shrug, "Hopefully not for a while."
Then his lips are back on yours. Your mouths move against one another with desire, the once innocent kiss being heated by fire and the flames burning into deep passion. You sigh though your nose into the kiss, hooking your arms behind his neck while he shifts his hands down to grab at your waist and back, pulling your body flush against his. Your still kneeling, and the angle is a bit awkward with his neck craning up to keep your lips connected. Neither of you really care though, lost in the kiss.
Without a second to waste, he lays you back against the rug, hovering over you and settling between your thighs. You don't stop kissing him, obsessed with the softness of his lips and the lingering taste of alcohol on his tongue.
"Never thought we'd be here." He mumbles, his swollen lips brushing against yours before capturing them again.
You moan in response, squeezing your legs around his waist and shifting your hips below him. He grinds his hips back down against yours, swallowing another soft moan from you.
The last song on side A ends so the only background noise is the crackling of the needle against the vinyl. You open your eyes and push against his chest softly, planting your feet on the ground and raising yourself up on your elbows. Sam props himself up on his hands and knees, some of his hair hanging in his face as he stares at you, waiting for you to speak.
"Need t'flip the record." You mumble, moving the stray hair from his eyes that glimmer when he smiles at you.
"That's what you're concerned about right now?" He chuckles, brushing his knuckles over your cheek softly.
You lean into his touch with a sigh and playfully roll your eyes before grabbing the collar of his sweater and pulling him close again, "I guess it can wait."
Then your back to kissing. You couldn't think of a better position to be in then right now. About forty-five minutes ago you would have never thought of this happening ever. But right now, you could honestly say that you never wanted this moment to end.
Sam's lips are plump and soft against yours and they move deliberately. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip and slips into your mouth when a gasp escapes your mouth from him digging his dull nails into your tights. Your hands find their way into his hair, pulling lightly at the roots, earning tiny groans from him every time you pull a little rougher.
"Y'look so pretty tonight," he murmurs, his lips pressing against the corner of your mouth and traveling up your cheek to your jawline, "well, I've always thought you look pretty all the time but, I like the way you dressed tonight."
"Thank you," you whisper while your cheeks heat up from the compliment, tilting your head back a little to give him more access to your neck. One of his fingers lightly traces down the column of your throat and pulls down your turtle neck, exposing more your skin for him to trail his lips along, "you look good tonight too, Sam."
"Hmm," he hums, planting wet kisses along your neck, softly sucking a bruise right below your jaw on the left.
A trembling whimper floats from your lips, the noise making his stomach clench and his cock twitch in his pants. To him you were so lovely, laying beneath him you were like an angel. He pulls away, studying the mark he left behind and rubbing his finger over it softly, admiring the hickey.
Then you remember the rest of the group and your stomach sinks a bit. The chance of them walking in at any second made you nervous, so you grab Sam's face and make him look at you.
"We should probably continue this somewhere else." Your voice is low and sultry when you speak, making Sam's mouth water.
"Lead the way." He whispers as he moves back to rest on his knees, taking your hand and helping you stand up with him.
You hold his hand, trailing him behind you as you walk towards your bedroom. Stepping into the hallway, he can't keep his hands off you, moving from holding your hand to grabbing your hips and pressing you back against him. A smile breaks out over your face when his arms snake around your waist and squeeze you to his chest, kissing your temple and the shell of your ear. His breath hits your skin and cause goosebumps to rise, causing a shiver to creep up your spine which makes him chuckle against you.
You huff, smirking and reaching a hand up behind you and tug him away by his hair, turning your head to look at him, "Are you even gonna let us make it to my room?"
"I like your hallway," he murmurs back teasingly, looking you over with hungry eyes, "anyone ever fuck you in your hallway?"
His dirty words go straight down to your core, causing a throb to start between your thighs and your teeth chew on your bottom lip. You shake your head, "No."
He smirks. He can tell this is all making you a little nervous. If he were being honest, he was a little nervous too.
He hums under his breath as he studies the hall, before looking back down to you and purrs softly, "Maybe we can try it another time."
You turn in his arms and grab the front of his sweater, pulling him down to press a tender kiss to his lips. His eyelashes flutter a bit before they close and he kisses back a little, clenching your sweater in his hands. The soft, short kiss is enough of an answer to his suggestion: there was definitely going to be another time.
When you pull back you bring him with you, walking backwards into your room. It's dark, the only light softly coming from a nearby lamp on your dresser.
Sam looks it over quickly, noticing the jewelry and makeup strewn about on your vanity, the books on your night table, a couple of sweaters laid over a chair. He looks to your bed, unmade and messy which he wouldn't have expected from you but doesn't mind because either way it's your bed and he's about to fuck you in it.
"Like how I decorate?" You giggle, pulling him back down to earth.
He looks to you with a smirk and a quick nod before making you keep walking backwards until the back your legs press against the mattress. You place your hands flat on his chest and look up at him through your lashes, your eyes shining with an excited gleam. Then, you quickly turn the two of you around and make him sit down on your bed.
Sam looks to you captivated, a small open mouthed smile dancing on his mouth. Your hands are on his shoulders and his are on your hips as you slowly situate yourself onto his lap. He's entranced by your presence, nothing else mattered to him right now besides you. You sit up on your knees as you straddle him, brushing the back of your fingers down the sides of his face delicately. Your touch is feather light, as though if you press down too hard against his skin it would shatter. He smiles softly, leaning into your touch and turning his face so he can kiss the palm of your hand.
"You're so pretty." You whisper dreamily, leaning down and running your nose against his.
He chuckles, his eyelashes brushing against your cheeks as he replies, "I am?"
"The prettiest," you nod, your eyes flickering over his face, noting certain freckles and beauty marks. You don't stop yourself from pressing a kiss to the one hidden in his hairline, trailing your lips down the side of his face, brushing over his lips, "always thought you were a pretty boy."
You never talked to boys like this but there was something about Sam that made you spill all your thoughts out. Even after drinks and bringing a hookup home, you never called any of those guys pretty. Sam truly was though, his eyes and lips were so gorgeous you were almost jealous.
He gives you a cheeky grin, relishing in the compliment, murmuring to you while puckering his lips, "Thanks, pretty girl."
You smile and then plant a kiss on his lips, slowly making him lay back and you lean over him. His thumbs rub up and down over the waistband of your skirt, from time to time he'll slip one thumb underneath before slipping it back out. The make out intensifies, and the two of you are growing far too hot with your sweaters on. Your lips disconnect from his as you sit up, resting your fingertips on his tummy. He gazes up at you, his lips are shiny and so are yours, his eyes are transfixed on your lips which he deemed perfect.
"You can take your sweater off," you breathe out, beginning to pull your sleeves so you can take off your own, adding, "if you want."
Of course he wanted to, but first he sits up and slides your own sweater off your torso once both your arms are inside the top. You smile at him before your head gets hidden beneath the soft material. Neither of you have quite wrapped your brain around what was happening. Neither of you really wanted to either. The potential consequences that might follow from this night made you both nervous, so you ignore the thought completely.
Once your sweater is off, Sam slots your lips together in a chaste kiss before pulling away and examining your messy hair. You are giggling, tugging upwards on his sweater as he fixes some of your hairs. He looks down at your elegant white bralette, reaching a hand up to trace the lace pattern until his view is blocked by his sweater getting pulled over his head.
Light chuckles and giggles sound through the room as you chuck his sweater down next to yours, then get to unbuttoning the flannel he wore beneath. Too many layers were separating you two, but you didn't mind leisurely undoing his buttons while he cupped your tits. Licking your lips and biting back moans, your hands get jittery, and you fumble with the buttons, especially when he rubs the pad of his thumb over your hardening nipple.
The tiniest whimper slips out of you, and it makes Sam's eyes flicker upwards and his mouth twitch into a smirk. He keeps massaging your breasts, quietly laughing at your struggle to get his flannel off. Finally, when the last button is undone, you push the flannel from his shoulders and attach your lips once again. You just couldn't get enough of the taste of his lips, and you slide your hands up his toned torso.
During the kiss is when he wraps his arms around you and gently lays you back against the sheets. He stands, lifting your legs which causes your skirt to pool around your waist. You watch him take off your boots and slowly slide his hands over your tights, placing his left knee on the mattress and leaning over you as he does so. His shaggy hair falls around his face which is centimeters from yours when you let out a loud gasp.
You weren't expecting his palm to cup your core over your tights and panties. Immediately you bite your lip and look up at him with tilted brows, a look so needy and desperate it nearly makes Sam melt into a puddle. He takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes locked on yours, slowly applying more pressure that causes your hips to jerk. His tongue darts out to wet his pink lips and now all of the suddenly, you'd like to feel those lips run all over your body.
"Sammy," you let out a voice so tiny it could considered a squeak. When he hears your almost breathless voice his ears perk up immediately. You never called him 'Sammy', well, you barely ever said his name to him in general, let alone call him by his nickname. The sound of it rolling off your tongue only adds fuel to the fire bubbling in his veins and makes him begin to rub you over the material, making you squirm.
"Say it again." He whispers, pressing quick pecks to your cheeks.
You sigh, swiveling your hips to add more friction as you breathe out, "Oh my god, Sammy."
"Fuck." He moves his head back and pulls away completely, pulling at your skirt and then your tights.
You laugh behind your hands when he balls up your tights and tosses them over his shoulder, giving you a goofy grin before pausing to stand and look down at you. You feel so vulnerable, laying on your bed nearly nude while Sam stood in front of you with his jeans on still, and you kind of like it. He was drinking in the sight of you, absorbing everything in front of him. You looked so beautiful, absolutely perfect. Sam would never admit it, not even now, but he's imagined what it would be like with you in an intimate setting like this, but his imagination could never conjure up something as gorgeous as you are right now.
"You're stunning." He whispers, blindly going for his belt.
Your entire body blushes as your knees knock together and you look up at him timidly. Of course, now you get all shy on him, in just a bra and pair of panties, but you couldn't help it. You never took Sam as the complimentary type but here you are, being showered with praises he's kept bottled up far too long.
The belt glides through the loops quickly and is discarded on the floor with the rest of the clothes. Then, he pops the button on his jeans and unzips them, letting the material fall from his body to the floor. Sam steps out of his jeans and taps your legs gently before signaling for you to move towards the head of the bed.
A devilish smirks appears on your face and you roll over to crawl up the bed, giving him the perfect view of your ass. The wind is nearly knocked out of his lungs, and he stands there dazed for a second when you peek back at him over your shoulder. Then, you turn completely, moving to sit on your knees and wave for him to join you. He makes his way to you on his knees and pauses in front of you, kneeling back and holding your waist.
"You want to do this?" He asks.
You can feel his hand fiddling with the back of your bralette, his calloused fingers tracing the lace design. Leaning your head to the side, you look up at him with eyes that were far too innocent for the moment.
Then, you slowly nod and hold his scruffy chin in your fingers, murmuring as you stare at his lips, "I want you to fuck me like you hate me."
Those words flip a switch inside of Sam.
His voice is an octave deeper when he speaks, "Okay, baby."
Before you know it you’re on your back and Sam's lips are attached to your neck, sucking harshly at the skin and drawing breathy whines from you. He doesn't stop there, continuing down to your chest and swearing wet kisses across your breasts. You sigh when he laps at your lace covered nipple, lightly nibbling at the bud over the material and making you let out a girlish squeal.
"Sam!" You gasp, your nails digging into his bare shoulders and your back arching, silently telling him you liked the feeling.
He repeats it on the other side before tearing the bra off you completely and leaving light pink and purple splotches all over your chest. The sounds you make and way you move against him only makes the tent in his briefs grow and become harder to ignore. You can't help but look down between you two whenever you feel it accidentally brush over your thigh. It was so warm and hard, you knew he was really holding himself back.
"Please," you groan, pushing him back to look at you, his eyes dark with lust, "fuck me, Sam, god, I need it so bad."
"Uh huh," he grins, poking his tongue to the inside of his cheek and nodding for you to continue, "keep begging, babe. I like the sound of it."
"Sam," you drop your head back but tense and look to him when he presses his knee against your covered heat, "please! Just- you're being such a fuckin' tease."
He chuckles, grinding his leg against you and coming down to pepper kisses on each of your breasts, "Seems to me you like it though."
"I do," you admit, grabbing the sides of his face and making him look at you, "but I need you to fuck me now before the rest of them get back."
Time is of the essence, there was only so many minutes until they would all be back. What would they suspect if the two of you weren't in the living room or kitchen? What if they got back and heard you all in the bedroom? The idea makes Sam's stomach flip and yours sink. If there was anything neither of you wanted, it was for the ones who planned this ordeal to be right. So, he nods and ducks down to kiss you.
"How do you want it?" He mumbles, one of his hands reaching between you two to push your underwear down.
You lift your hips to help him and whisper in his ear, "Did you forget what I said earlier?"
Fuck me like you hate me.
Hot and hard it is.
"Hmm," a gruff noise comes up from his throat and he looks you over before sitting back to finish taking off your panties.
He nods, moving to shed his own underwear before crawling back between your legs. Your eyes shut when he runs the head of his cock through your wet folds, making you let out a shudder of a breath and your legs shake. He smirks at your reaction, tapping his dick against your clit and making you jolt slightly, a broken moan falling from your tongue. Taking a deep breath, he lines himself up at your entrance, gaining your attention.
You prop yours up on your elbows, watching him slowly sink his cock into you. Your head falls back, pushing your chest out to him and giving him full display of your chest. He tries to keep his breaths even, but his eyes flitting over the bruises littering your skin and the noises coming from you don't help.
Sam certainly wasn't small either, another thing you weren't expecting. He always gave off what you would call ‘tiny dick energy’ but the reality is that he's well above average. He's halfway in and your eyes are rolling back and your mouth is hanging open in a silent moan.
"You feel amazing," he says through gritted teeth, placing his hands on either side of your head, hovering above you and continuing to push in further.
"You-" a moan deep from your chest cuts your off and you can't help but raise yourself up on a hand and clench your eyes shut. He gives you a look of amusement and pauses, waiting for you to lay back and catch your breath, "shit, you're big, Sam. What the fuck?"
He laughs, and you flash a blissful smile. Your eyes remain closed as he pushes himself in the rest of the way and stays still. As much as he wanted to get straight to it, he knew you wouldn't be able to handle it from the way you reacted to him just filling you up. He comes down and kisses along your face, nuzzling into your cheek and humming sweet nothings in your ear so it would even out whenever he started to whisper filthy phrases to you instead.
After a minute and then another, he lifts himself up and looks down to you, making you open your eyes to him. One of his hands moves to rest on your shoulder, his thumb reaching down to rub against your collarbone.
Then he looks to you with dark eyes, "M'gonna fuck you like I hate you."
"Do it." You whisper back.
He's not hasty.
Immediately he pulls his hips back and snaps them forward, making you yelp and slap a hand over your mouth. He looks to you questioningly, a smirk tugging his lips while you stare back at him with wide eyes.
"You sure?" He teases.
"If you don't stop every two seconds and keep asking me the same goddamn question maybe you would see-"
He shuts you up by beginning to thrust in and out of you at a fast, relentless pace. Your body moves beneath him with every stroke he delivers, eyes squeezed shut and jaw hanging open. Words couldn't describe what you were feeling right now, you were everywhere. Moans fill the room from both of you, skin slapping skin echoes down the hall. Neither of you bothered to shut the door, and god forbid the group is back because there was no doubt you two could be heard all the way in the kitchen even. Sam grunts, grabbing your legs and holding them in his arms as he pounds you.
His name leaves your lips in a breathless chant, and it makes him grin and shake his head, keeping his pace up. If you could hear yourself, you would be so embarrassed from the neediness lacing your voice, but you really couldn't care less with Sam drilling into you.
"You like this, yeah?" His question is rhetorical, but you nod your head anyway and look up at him with squinted eyes. He laughs, moving his hand to grip your throat, "Just like a little slut? Have you always thought about this, Y/N?"
You moan and nod again, gripping his biceps, "Uh huh."
Not always, but from time to time you would imagine what Sam would be like in bed. It was always one of those intrusive thoughts that you would push away and scold yourself for imagining. Most of the time your brain would come up with the scenes when you were asleep, unconscious thoughts you'd try your best to ignore coming towards your frontal lobe when you were unaware. Every time you'd wake up with a gasp and undeniably wet.
"Of course you have." He says breathlessly, letting one of your legs fall back down. You keep it spread for him, and it allows him to start hitting you at a new angle.
He's deeper and it makes you cry out, nails scratching down his arms. He hisses at the feeling even though he likes it, his grip on your throat tightening a bit and making you look up at him with fucked-out eyes.
"Keep going," you rush out in a whisper, beginning to roll your hips upwards to meet his thrusts, "harder, Sammy."
"Harder?" He takes his hand off your throat and lowers himself onto his forearms.
Your hands hold his neck, your tongue harshly pressing against the bottom row of your teeth in an effort to keep you from shrieking. It doesn't work when he slows his pace down and pushes himself into you roughly and holding himself there before repeating the action. It makes your body move upward on the mattress; your tits bounce with every powerful thrust. He's practically drooling as he comes down to nip teasingly at your skin.
Strings of profanities fly from your mouth when he slams into you and circulates his hips against your own, brushing so deep inside of you. He likes the sound of your curses, so he does it again, receiving a sharp 'fuck!' to fly from your mouth.
"You-" he looks to you when you speak, moving his arms to cradle the back of your head as you take a deep breath when he begins to return to a steady pace, "you're so fucking deep."
This earns a deep chuckle from his and he switches his gaze to stare down between your two bodies. His eyes are stuck on where you two are connected, and he lets out sighs of pleasure when you tighten yourself around him repeatedly.
"God, you're beautiful." He utters in between breathes, looking back up to you and pressing his forehead to yours.
You whimper, biting your lip and swallowing thickly, kissing his cheek and whispering against it, "Make me cum, please, I'm close."
"You're close?"
He loved repeating your words back to you. Loved watching you grow red and become all flustered. It makes him grin when you shyly nod and lightly scratch his scalp with your nails. He pants through his nose as he brings his thumb up to his mouth and sucks the pad of it before snaking his arm down between you. You mewl, clenching your eyes shut when he starts circling your clit at a fast pace, making your thighs squeeze his waist.
"You alright?" He hums, speeding up some more, you nod, your sweaty forehead rubbing against his, "Why the fuck did we wait so long to do this? Shit-"
You arch your spine and scratch your fingernails down his back, your moan bubbling into a light laugh, "Probably because you seemed like an arrogant asshole this whole time."
He scoffs and looks to you, shifting to hold himself up on his palms so he can see you better, sticking his tongue to the side of his cheek before reiterating, "And you were the insufferable brat."
"You liked it." You tease with a wink, gasping when he unexpectedly strokes a bit deeper and you clench around him tight.
He grunts and shuts his eyes, nodding and trying to stay in rhythm, rushing out in a low voice, "I fucking loved it."
This makes you smile, because you were just teasing him not really believing your words, and you peek up at him with your swollen lower lip caught between your teeth, "Really?"
"Uh huh," he says, slowing his pace a tad and leaning down to kiss your jawline, "absolutely loved it when you'd argue with me. That's probably why I was an asshole, just to hear your banter."
You kiss back, "We were probably so annoying to everyone else."
"Yeah," he chuckles then pushes himself back up and speeds up again, "but not anymore. Well, maybe still annoying just in a different way."
You don't have time to think about what he says because your mind is clouded by his merciless thrusts. He grits his teeth together while he pounds you, his long, dark hair falling in front of his face. You want to push it back, but you're too busy holding onto his shoulders.
"Don't stop, don't stop!" You shriek, locking your ankles behind his back.
"I know you're close," he pants, tilting his head to the side and staring you down with seductive eyes, "cum for me. Come on, Y/N, let go for me."
Your eyebrows draw together in a furrow, and you reach up to hold his face in your hands, keeping your eyes on him as you crash into your climax. Biting his tongue, he helps you ride it out while chasing his own orgasm, his face set in a soft frown of determination.
"Sammy..." you sigh, your eyes hazy as you drop a hand from his cheek to grip onto his arm, "give it to me."
"God damn," he huffs out and closes his eyes, thrusting all the way inside you and holding himself there.
You can feel the warmth of him spilling inside you and let him drop his head on your shoulder, his breaths hitting your skin and chest rising and falling quickly. Instinctively, your hand rakes through his long tresses, and you try to pull his body down onto yours. He pulls back and looks at you with a soft shake of his head, making you frown.
His smile reads exhaustion as he mumbles, "I'll crush you if I lay down on you."
"No you won't." Even though you're tired too you roll your eyes at him.
Even after all that, that tension was still there. Maybe you two needed to go another round, perhaps this time in the hallway.
This makes him laugh and kiss your cheek before slowly pulling out of you, making you hold a breath before exhaling once he's out. You stare at the ceiling, resting a hand over your lower stomach while you recover and feel the bed shift with Sam standing up. He walks to the bathroom and you assume he's going to pee until you hear his footsteps pad back and he sits on the edge of the mattress next to you.
He holds up the warm washcloth before you with a gentle nod and it makes your eyebrows raise and you prop yourself up on your hands, "Sam, you don't have to-"
"I want to," he says, and it makes you blush, "if it's alright with you, of course."
You close your mouth and sink back down with a slow nod, watching a reassuring smile grow on his face. Laying back, you close your eyes and let him clean you up, leaving innocent kisses and warm caresses on your knees and thighs. Hooking up with Sam itself was unexpected, but aftercare was definitely the biggest shock of the night. Once he's done, he retreats back to the bathroom to throw the washcloth in the hamper and then comes back, slipping back on his clothes. You sit up, and he tosses you your bra, underwear and tights, coming over to help you slip on your skirt. He lets you help him with his shirt, watching your concentrate on buttoning the shirt from bottom to top. Silently, the two you redress in your room until your back in your outfits, now a bit wrinkled.
With a sigh, you sit on your bed, and he stands before you. It's still silent.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
You nod, "Are you?"
He nods, sticking his hands in his pockets and shrugging, "Kind of thirsty, honestly."
You breathe a laugh through your nose, "Get some water from the fridge, can you get me a glass too?"
He nods, taking a half step towards you and pulling his hands from his pockets. Part of you hopes he'll lean down to kiss you, and he wonders if he should of not. But then he backs away and starts for the hallway, making his way to the kitchen.
You watch his back until he disappears, and then you turn your gaze to the floor. What the fuck just happened? Your phone vibrates on your bedside table, and you look to it but don't pick it up. It's probably Mackenzi.
Then, a loud boom sounds from outside and you jump a little. Oh shit, the group. You snatch your phone and unlock it, opening the messages from Mackenzi.
Hey we're gonna start without you all
11:47 pm
We saw the left-over drinks on the floor and the record still playing and figured we wouldn't interrupt you all...
11:47 pm
It wasn't so bad after all now was it? ;)
11:48 pm
You scoff and shake your head with pink cheeks, rolling your eyes and setting the phone down before heading to the kitchen. He's holding the glasses in his hands, about to exit and come back to you until he sees you. He hands you one of the cups.
"I guess they're back." He chuckles a bit awkwardly.
You nod and a fainter pop sounds from outside, "Mac texted... I'm pretty sure they all know."
He groans, tilting his head back with a slight grimace. You chuckle, sipping your water and looking up to him with your arms crossed. He looks back to you, drinking some of his water and letting out a soft sigh.
"Should we go out there?" You ask, setting your water down and looking up to him.
He looks to you then the door and nods, "Hell yeah, I don't want to miss any fireworks."
There's another thunderous boom outside.
"Okay," you nod, taking his glass from his and gently pushing him towards the back door, "you go first and I'll come out a few minutes later."
"What?" He scoffs and shakes his head, "No, no, I don't give a shit what they think. Let's just go out." You look up to him with a tiny smirk and blushes, "Let's go outside. Together."
After grinning at him you shrug and agree, going to grab your coat and beanie. He grabs his own and zips it up, waiting for you at the door. Once you’re at his side, you reach for the doorknob but pause with your hand wrapped around it. Something tells you to look up at him, so you do, and when your eyes lock with his he bends down and presses a gentle kiss to your lips. The squeal of another firework is heard, and it makes you jump a little so he pulls you close to him. You smile against his mouth, and he smiles back, pulling away with beaming eyes. You blush like a little kid and giggle before stepping back opening the door, walking out onto the back porch.
The wolf whistles and whoops and hollers are unavoidable when you all make your appearance, making you hide behind your hands with a red face. Sam waves them off with a roll of his eyes before pulling you to his side and kissing the top of your head. You can't help but wrap your own arm around his waist as you two descend the back stairs together.
"Well well well..." Jake crosses his arms and stares at you two with a knowing smirk.
Sam looks to you fondly before hesitantly pulling off and joining his brothers and friend who were giving him pats on the back.
Josh turns to you and mouths an apology for having to sleep with his younger brother which you scoff at. You look at them all sheepishly before turning to where Mackenzi was sat on a lawn chair, a vacant one saved for you beside her. She grins at you devilishly, signaling for you to come join which you do so hesitantly.
She gives you a 'told ya so' look as you settle next to her, and she leans closer, "So...?"
"You want all the details?" You laugh.
Her eyes flicker from the boys then to you, "Another time. Just tell me how far you two went."
You let out another laugh before raising your brows and shrugging innocently as you move your coat down a bit to expose your neck littered with a few hickies to her, "Uh, like, all the way."
"Fire in the hole!" Sam shouts as a firework is lit off and explodes in the sky, illuminating the yard with a bright red light.
You look up at the beautiful explosion with wide eyes and a smile before turning to Mackenzi who is still looking at you with raised brows and a surprised, open-mouthed smile on her mouth. Then, the two of you burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. After you both have settled down, she reaches down to grab a bottle from the grass and lifts it up for everyone to see.
“Champagne, anyone?” she calls.
The boys look over with excitement, and when you look to them, one particular guy off to the side catches you eye. And rather than focusing on the champagne like the others, he is staring back you with a fond look. He winks and your smile widens, sinking into your chair feeling smitten.
What a night.
580 notes · View notes
gncseven · a year ago
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current fic title, constructive criticism welcome uwu
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seung-hwa · 3 months ago
it can’t be that hard
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Word Count: 12k
Warnings: lovers to enemies to lovers AU (lol), fluff, angst, jealous Hongjoong, some kissing/making out, slightly suggestive, big brother!Seonghwa, boyfriend!Yunho
Pairing: Hongjoong x reader (endgame)
Summary: Of course you fell in love with your big brother’s best friend, and you thought he felt the same. But, when Hongjoong leaves for college he leaves all those feelings behind and gives you the cold shoulder. Now you’re both confronted with your feelings for each other when you decide to attend the same university he’s in.
A/N: Welcome to my first ATEEZ fic! I got the inspo for this fic from this song here, keep in mind it’s a very loose interpretation of the song. Interested in other things I’ve written? You can find that here
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Pull me into your arms, kiss me on the hood of your car. If you’re not here, I’m not yours. Come on darling it can’t be that hard.
Maybe you could ignore him, the way he ignored you while he was away, not even caring to see you when he came home for the holidays. You reasoned with yourself that if he didn’t care for you in the two years that he was away for university then you wouldn’t care about him when you wind up at the same university he’s in. It’s not like it was on purpose, you didn’t mean to follow him, no that would be crazy. Your parents were alumni there, it only made sense for you to attend the same university that your parents had, and the same one that your brother, Seonghwa, was currently in. If anything Hongjoong technically followed you, because he knew you would be here. It’s annoying how your mind always wanders over to him when he doesn’t deserve the time nor the effort.
Way back when you would’ve sworn up and down that you and him were the endgame, a whirlwind romance meant to last a lifetime. Both of you had kept your interest in each other a secret from your families, and especially from your brother, who was also his best friend. You can remember romantic playlists made for each other, stolen kisses on family vacations, sly smiles over dinner and all the lovey dovey stuff that couples do. Except in your situation everything was a gamble, always worrying about getting caught in the act; but that had been half the fun for the both of you.
The night that Hongjoong left you to go to college he had promised that he would always love you, and would wait for you every day until you were with him. It was ridiculously dramatic but you still sobbed into his arms, not wanting him to leave you. That night plays in your mind more often than you would like to admit, and it always leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. He had snuck into your bedroom through your window, held you in his arms and kissed away the tears that graced your cheeks. He muttered whispers into your hair while he held you close and promised you the moon, the stars, anything you could ever want. And you, in a foolish daze, believed his every word.
You almost wish that you could turn back the clock and come clean to everyone, but especially to Seonghwa. Everyone assumed that the depressive episode you found yourself in had been because your brother had left and you just missed him terribly. In a way that was true, your big brother was your main confidant and your partner in crime. Having him gone left a bigger ache in your heart. You were sure if Seonghwa had been around when you suffered through your heartbreak then he would’ve helped you to put your broken little pieces back together. But really, the main reason you had been a shell of what you once were was because of his best friend. All of his promises were bullshit, he cared about you for a week and then completely ghosted you for all the pretty college girls he now had access to. There was no explanation, no attempt at reconciliation, he just pretended like you didn’t exist. Your poor little heart got a front row seat to all the adventures that he went on because Seonghwa would always call back home to tell you about the cool new exciting thing that they got to experience together.
On the rare occasions that Hongjoong came back home he would avoid you like the plague, and no one ever batted an eye to his behavior. At first you would seek him out, trying to get answers out of him, but he was sneaky and always made sure you two were never alone together. Eventually you gave up trying to get an explanation out of him. You just wanted to move on and looking for answers to his betrayal just kept you shackled to him, you couldn’t do it anymore. The longing you had in your heart for him turned to resentment every time you thought of him. People always say that the opposite of love isn’t hate but rather indifference, and you wish so desperately that you could feel indifference for him. Yet, two years later and even the mention of his name makes your heart clench and stomach sick. It’s such a stark contrast to the way you used to feel for him, which was nothing but love and a sense of safety.
You try to reason out that you’ll probably rarely ever see him, despite the fact that he’s very present in Seonghwa’s life, you doubt that Seonghwa would want to hang out with his little sister all the time. You just need to get through the first semester, if you can do that without any incident then you know you can survive the next four years. Almost as if on cue your brother enters your dorm room and plops on your bed, your roommate stares at you with wide eyes. She definitely wasn’t expecting a boy to be in your space so soon.
“What do you want Hwa?”
He raises his arms behind his head and closes his eyes in thought, deciding to pay you no mind. He inhales deeply and lets out a sigh of contentment.
“Yep, I definitely don’t miss dorm life,” you chuckle and lean down to poke at his side, startling him into sitting upright.
“What are you doing here? Invading my space like this,” you say dramatically. He only chuckles and gets up, pulling you into a hug. You can tell that he’s excited for you to be around which isn’t too surprising to you. Your relationship with your brother has always been a close one, the only thing you’ve ever kept from him was your secret relationship with Hongjoong. Thinking about it makes you feel guilty, so you pull away from Seonghwa with expectant eyes, hoping that he’ll finally tell you why he’s here.
“I want to take you out! There’s this cool diner about fifteen minutes away that Joong and I always go to and I want to take you there,” ahh yes you’ve heard plenty of stories about Kim’s Diner and how her chicken tenders are a godsend. As much as you would love to spend time with Seonghwa, a part of you is afraid of the possibility of seeing Hongjoong. You ask Seonghwa if his best friend will be there and he shakes his head no, saying something about how he’s with some girl he started talking to a few weeks ago.
Technically you know you shouldn’t care, but the fact that Hongjoong is off with some other girl makes you unreasonably angry. You try to cover the frustration inside of you with a playful smile to Seonghwa and agree to go with him to eat. After all, it’s not like you can just spout off at the mouth about how much of an asshole his best friend is. You’ll just have to learn to live with your secret and avoid him as much as possible. You’re not sure how easy or difficult it’ll be, but you’ll do your best to finally get over him. After all, you’re a college student now, the options are endless.
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When you and Seonghwa reach the diner and have a seat he immediately starts telling you about all the late nights he’s had here. He recounts finding this place with Joong when they were just driving around town, deciding to try it out on a whim. When they came in they had never expected it to look so retro, with a red and white checkerboard floor and 90s characters adorning the walls and windows. You have to admit it was a bit of a shock to you too, but you have to admit it brings a sweet sort of nostalgia for a time you never actually lived through. He tells you about how they would stuff themselves with food after test days and still force down a milkshake because it’s the best milkshake he’s ever had before in his life. You listen to him intently, mind straying every now and again by imagining Hongjoong sitting in the seat you’re in now.
The door to the diner opens and you see your brother look up in surprise. He beckons the person who came in to come to where you’re sitting. Lo and behold it’s Hongjoong and his date. You feel sick, and the desire to eat escapes you as you scoot over and let his date sit next to you. You spare her a brief glance and a small smile, not really wanting to know what she looks like. The idea of her being prettier makes your heart hurt. Hongjoong avoids your presence and you do the same. Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s date are oblivious of the obvious tension as your brother begins to ask him why he’s here.
“I just thought I’d show Lia our favorite place. I had been talking about it earlier and she wanted to come by so here we are,” Seonghwa nods in understanding and reaches his hand out to her to shake it as he introduces himself to her.
“I brought (y/n) here for the exact same reason, Lia this is my sister (y/n),” this forces you to actually look at her and she hits you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. She’s beautiful and you resent that, but you swallow your jealousy down and introduce yourself to her. She seems sweet and her eyes are so pretty, Hongjoong did good. You only wish you were her.
In no time the waiter comes over to take your orders. The boys order whatever their usual is and Hongjoong kindly orders for Lia, since she hadn’t looked at the menu. When the waiter, Yunho, looks to you to see what you want you don’t really have an answer for him. He’s nice enough to suggest what he likes and you just go with whatever he says. He stares at you a little longer than the others and offers you a cute smile which has you smiling back at him. He leaves and Seonghwa kicks your shin under the table.
“Ow! What’d you do that for Hwa jeez?” His eyes widen and he gestures his head towards where the waiter had just been, you only look at him confused.
“He was flirting with you!” you roll your eyes, very aware of the way that Hongjoong is looking at you.
“He was not flirting with me, he was just offering me suggestions.”
He scoffs at you, “(y/n) I know Yunho, he’s never that smiley when it’s just Hongjoong and I.”
“Actually he’s always pretty smiley…” Hongjoong deadpans.
“Okay fine he always has a smile, but he was looking at you longer than anyone else.”
“Yeah because she was taking forever to order and didn’t know what she wanted,” he interjects.
Seonghwa spares Hongjoong a disapproving look and elbows him in the side, basically telling him to shut up before he looks back at you.
“You should leave your number on the receipt once we’re done here to see what he does,” Hongjoong rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath, but no one pays him any mind. Even Lia is looking at you and nodding enthusiastically, “oh my god that would be so cute, imagine if you guys started dating. Maybe you could start eating here for free,” she giggles. You sigh and nod your head weakly, not really wanting to go along with Hwa’s plan but he won’t leave you alone unless you agree to it. Besides, maybe he’ll forget about it once the bill comes.
Eventually Yunho brings the food out to your table and strikes up a small conversation with you. You learn he’s a sophomore at the university and he lives off campus with his roommate Mingi. You’re sure that he’d tell you more if Hongjoong hadn’t interrupted him to get a refill on his drink. When he leaves again Seonghwa elbows Hongjoong again in the ribs, “why’d you interrupt them they were flirting,” he sneers and shakes his head, deciding not to answer.
You’ve known Hongjoong since you were kids, even grew up right next door to him. You recall when he and your brother had first entered high school and Seonghwa had begun to hang out with some guy named Minho. For a time you’d see Minho in your house more often than Hongjoong. Sometimes all three of them would be at your house, but for the most part if Minho was there then Hongjoong was notably absent. The times the three of them hung out you would notice how hostile Hongjoong would become towards Minho, especially when it came to getting Seonghwa’s attention. Your brother soon caught onto Hongjoong’s bad behavior and a huge fight ensued between them. After a while they made up but when Minho started hanging out with a guy named Jisung more than them, Hongjoong wasn’t complaining. All this to say, you were very aware of Joong’s jealous streak.
Hongjoong’s actions towards Yunho annoyed you. He had no right to act jealous when you weren’t his, and hadn’t been his for the last two years. It made no sense to you, especially since he was here with a whole date. A girl who was very much not you. You wanted nothing more to tell him off, but you held your tongue. If you could get him alone at some point then maybe you could tell him to cut the shit and stop acting like you were the one doing something wrong.
When Yunho comes back Hongjoong excuses himself to go to the bathroom. As much as you want to stay and speak to the cute waiter, you really need to speak to Joong. You also excuse yourself and wait outside of the men’s restroom until he steps out.
He tries to walk past you but you block his path. He does his best to not look at you and it frustrates you to no end. “The least you can do is look me in the eyes after being an ass all night,” you stay in front of him and wait for him to acknowledge you. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply before looking at you, “what do you want (y/n)?”
“I want you to stop acting so jealous.”
He scoffs, “I’m not acting jealous.”
“I’ve known you for years, you can’t hide your feelings from me. And as oblivious as he can be, you can’t hide your feelings from Seonghwa either so cut your shit dude.”
Instead of responding he pushes past you and heads back to the booth. You stand in place trying to collect yourself, because if you go back now you’re sure your hand will find its way across his face. This is how it always is with him, you try to confront him and he either doesn’t listen to you or leaves as soon as humanly possible to get away from you. The fact that he can’t even own up to the fact that he’s acting jealous is what gets under your skin.
When you go back to the booth you ignore his presence completely and he does the same. Every time you speak he takes Lia’s hand to get her attention onto him and away from you, you know he’s doing it to spite you, he’s not the type to like public displays of affection. Of course Lia doesn’t know this yet so she gives him her pretty little smile and holds his hand tighter. For your part, when he speaks you find interest in the chicken tenders you’re eating and drown out whatever comes out of his mouth. Neither Seonghwa or Lia notice how you’re both avoiding each other, you figure it’s either a miracle or they’re just very oblivious. You truly dread being around him, and resent the way he grabs her hand, it makes you not want to speak just so he’ll stop doing it.
Fortunately Yunho comes back with the checks but doesn’t hand you one. This leaves you confused until he hands you a receipt paper, blank beside his number and a note saying how ‘cute girls get their meals for free’. It leaves you with warmth in your face and he beams at you as he leaves once more. The whole table sees the exchange and as soon as he’s out of sight you can feel Lia shaking you, excited by the fact that Yunho was very much into you. Seonghwa also looks pretty smug with the fact that he was right about the flirtation. The only one who isn’t happy for you is Hongjoong, who you can feel is stewing in anger with the way his jaw is clenched and his gaze is focused on his empty plate. Although you weren’t exactly looking for a boyfriend right now, maybe giving someone a chance could finally get you over the failed relationship you had with Hongjoong.
That night you take the chance and text Yunho. He seems really nice, you both get along pretty well and you find yourself smiling at your phone like an idiot until two am rolls around and you have to get to sleep. He asks you on a date and you agree, the beginnings of a blossoming crush just on the horizon for you. It’s exciting to have this feeling again, to actually have an interest in someone who isn’t your ex, it’s a relief to be able to talk to a guy who seemingly wants you. There’s also a bit of satisfaction when you think back to Hongjoong’s reaction at the diner, he looked pissed off and jealous and it’s nice to rub that in his face. Especially when he had the nerve to bring his date to your booth. One thing you will give him is that it seems like Lia really is a sweet girl. She was nice to you all night and didn’t seem to notice the tension between you and her… boyfriend? Is that what they were? You know Seonghwa said something about them talking for a few weeks but did that mean that they were official? It was obviously a date that he took her on, but how serious was it? Have they… kissed? You grab the pillow from under your head and put it on your face as you let out a scream of frustration. It shouldn’t matter who he’s with or what he’s doing or why he’s doing what he’s doing. You know you shouldn’t care, but you just can’t help the fact that he still holds a piece of your heart.
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When you wake up the next morning you see a message on your phone from Seonghwa, telling you to come over to his place as soon as you possibly can. You try calling him to see what’s up but he declines your call which has you very worried. In record time you get ready and rush to his apartment to make sure he’s okay. He hasn’t given you the key to his apartment yet so you stand there knocking anxiously and waiting for him to open the door. In your rush you completely forgot that he lives with Hongjoong, so when Lia is the one standing in front of you the shock hits like an icy wave.
She smiles at you kindly, looking beautiful with her hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head. You notice that her legs are bare and she’s wearing an oversized t-shirt, one that you recognize as Hongjoong's. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter that they slept together, but the pang of pain that shoots through your heart tells you otherwise.
“Hey (y/n) what are you doing here?”
Her voice breaks you out of your reverie and you smile at her sheepishly. “Seonghwa texted me to come over, he seemed pretty urgent so… yeah…”
She nods at you in understanding and makes way for you to come in.
“Is he okay by the way, it looks like you stayed the night…” you trail off.
“Yeah no he seems fine to me I’m not sure what’s wrong. And yeah I stayed the night with Hongjoong,” she looks so happy and her smile reaches her eyes. You can’t bring it in yourself to dislike this girl at all but you hate the fact that she was with him.
Speaking of the devil, you notice Hongjoong in the kitchen making coffee, although he doesn’t pay any attention to you. His orange hair is all disheveled and he looks so pretty, you hate it. You have the luxury of watching Lia wrap her arms around him and he looks over his shoulder to give her a small smile. You force yourself to look away and will your feet to go to Seonghwa’s room. You stand in front of his door, staring blankly at it and you can feel your tears coming. Before you let yourself cry you rub at your eyes viciously, hellbent on not having a breakdown. You knock on his door lightly before letting yourself in. Seonghwa’s laying on the bed with his phone in his hand, he offers you a small nod of acknowledgement before returning his attention to his phone.
You sit on the edge of his bed, slightly irritated because he made it seem like he was in trouble with how urgent he seemed through text, and yet he’s just laying there with no care in the world. You wait patiently for him to say something, anything before you reach for his sock and pull it off his foot, only to try and throw it in his face. He scowls at you before taking his sock and putting it back on his foot, only for you to try and take it off of him again just to annoy him.
“(y/n) stop!”
“I’ll stop once you tell me why you needed me to come over!”
He sighs, sitting up on the bed and looking around his room, avoiding eye contact with you. It makes you nervous to see him so apprehensive. You’re about to speak again until your phone begins to ring. You’re both startled by the sudden noise but your brother motions for you to pick up the phone. You answer the call without even checking to see who it is.
“(y/n)! Hey I hope I’m not waking you up, I just wanted to talk to you for a bit. It’s Yunho by the way!”
Your eyes widen at the fact that he’s calling you. Your date with him isn’t for a few days and at most you expected him to be texting you throughout the day, instead of actually calling. “No no no, I’ve been awake so don’t worry! What’s up Yunho?”
Your brother’s eyebrows raise at the mention of Yunho’s name and you can only mirror his expression.
“Just wanted to know if you’d be coming by the diner today, the owner made her famous pie and I wanted to give you a slice. If you want it.”
“Oh umm yeah I can see if I can drop by sometime later. Thanks for thinking of me, that's so sweet of you,” the smile that creeps onto your face doesn’t go unnoticed by Seonghwa and he begins to poke your cheek in excitement until he leans in close to you to listen to your conversation.
“Awesome! Well I’ll see you later, bye for now princess.”
You giggle as you say goodbye and end the call. You can feel the warmth in your face and Seonghwa wastes no time in making fun of you.
“OooooOoooo princess huh?” he wiggles his eyebrows and you punch him in the shoulder, feeling so embarrassed. He fakes being hurt but it only lasts a second before he’s calling you princess and making kissy faces at you. You roll your eyes and try to leave him, he’s right on your tail though continuing to make fun of you as you make your way out of his room. Lia and Hongjoong watch the two of you as you try to push Seonghwa away from you while he continues to be obnoxious.
“What happened?” Lia giggles, and Seonghwa wastes no time in telling her the 411. Her face lights up at the mention of Yunho wanting to see you, and she says that she thinks you two would make such a cute couple. As per usual Hongjoong doesn’t say anything and stares at his hands, you try to pay him no mind.
“Oh (y/n) what did Seonghwa want to talk about?” That’s right, you forgot that he was supposed to tell you something. You look at him waiting for an answer and he just laughs it off. This time you can feel Hongjoong’s eyes on the both of you and it makes you nervous.
“It was nothing, I just called you over here to mess with you.”
“Seriously Hwa? Don’t do that again, I thought you were calling me over for something important,” you roll your eyes in annoyance. Seonghwa only shrugs and you decide to make your way out of the apartment. You have to go back to the dorms to make yourself look presentable for Yunho. As you say your goodbye’s you notice that Hongjoong is watching your brother with narrowed eyes. You don’t like the way he’s looking at him but you don’t want to start anything so you leave without another word.
When your date with Yunho finally arrived it went off without a hitch, it was so perfect in fact that you agreed to go on a second date, which led to a third to a fourth, so on and so forth until he officially asked you to be his girlfriend. You said yes of course and things so far were going great.
Your “relationship” with Hongjoong on the other hand had gotten worse to the point where you’d yell at each other if the other so much as breathed in each other’s general direction. You hated constantly fighting with him over shit that didn’t even matter, but he made it so easy when he made snarky or rude comments about your relationship. You had tried on multiple occasions to get him to have a civil conversation with you but he was steadfast in being a total asshole to you. Even Lia had begun to notice his snarky behavior and would try to talk some sense into him on your behalf, but her words fell on deaf ears. Hongjoong was hell bent on being nothing but a dick to you. There were a couple of times where Seonghwa would suggest going on a double date together, stating that maybe having the buffer of your other halves there would ease the animosity. You both shot the idea down in an instant, neither of you willing to spend an extended amount of time together.
You didn’t think things could get much worse, until Lia and Hongjoong broke up. When the news reached you, you tried so hard to convince yourself that you weren’t happy about it, that you felt indifferent instead. But you couldn’t stop the small part of you that was ecstatic at the fact that he was single now. Of course you had nothing at all against Lia. In fact, the both of you had grown very close to each other and told each other almost everything. With that being said, it did suck to see her so sad over him. She reminded you a lot of yourself, but at least he never made her the promises he had made you. When you went to visit your brother in his apartment, you could always hear Hongjoong making music in his room. Seonghwa had let you know that this was his way of coping. You wondered if he had done that when he broke your heart too.
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It was dark outside, and rain was coming down pretty hard. You knew you should’ve gone home the second you saw the clouds roll in but you were too busy studying to really even care. You told yourself just five more minutes, five minutes turned to ten, twenty, thirty, you’d been here for two hours and now you needed to go home. You cursed yourself while packing your bag, seeing that you forgot to bring your umbrella, because of course you did. When you walked out of the library doors you saw that the rain was still coming down pretty hard and you sighed. You had walked here, but there was no way you would be walking back.
Normally, you could call up Yunho to pick you up, but he was currently visiting his grandma for the weekend so he wasn’t an option. You thought about Lia, but she had told you she was going clubbing this weekend, looking for another way to get over her heartbreak. She had invited you to come along, but you really needed to ace your exams so your social life would just have to wait until your tests were done. Next was Seonghwa, you don’t think he had anything planned for today, he would just be super annoyed about you bothering him if you called him. You really had no other choice, and with another heavy sigh you called him.
“What do you want? I'm busy.”
“Okay, rude? I need you to come pick me up.”
“I can't, I'm busy.” He was being unusually short with you and you didn’t like it.
“Hwa I don’t have a car and the rain is coming down really bad, please pick me up?”
There was silence on the phone before he let out a deep sigh, “I’ll see what I can do.”
He hung up the phone before you could ask him what he was up to, and you made a mental note to ask him what was up later when he came to pick you up. You sat down on one of the benches at the library’s entrance and watched as the wind swept through the trees. A bit of it would hit you from where you were sitting, but it wasn’t too bad. You also liked watching the rain.
30 minutes pass until you see a car pull up in front of the entrance. At this point the rain had died down a bit, but not enough for you to be able to walk through it. You know the car doesn't belong to Seonghwa, yet you are still very familiar with it. You curse under your breath as you see Hongjoong step out of the car and motion you over with a wave of his arm. He looks annoyed and you have no intention of getting into the same vehicle as him. You’d probably kill the both of you out of frustration if you had to be in an enclosed space with him, and the duration doesn’t matter. He huffs when he sees that you’re not getting up and he stomps on over to you, getting wet from the rain in the process.
You stare straight ahead of you as he calls out your name. Once he reaches you, you can tell his patience is worn thin, but you don’t care. He can leave you here for all you care, you’ll just wait here until the rain dies down. You’ll sleep on the damn bench if you have to.
“(y/n) get in the car.”
“(y/n)” he says your name as a warning.
“I said no.”
“Get in the fucking car.”
You decide not to answer him and pull out your phone instead, clicking on Hwa’s contact and getting ready to send him the meanest text you can think of. That is, until Hongjoong snatches the phone out of your hands. You finally look at him with a scowl on your face.
“Give me my fucking phone back Hongjoong.”
“Get in the fucking car and I’ll think about giving it back to you.”
“Just leave Joong! You know you don’t want to give me a ride so just go. I’d rather wait all night for Seonghwa to show up, than to get into a car with you.”
He lets out a humorless chuckle, “yeah good luck with that, he’s not coming for you anytime soon now get up and let’s go. I’m getting cold.”
Just then an idea pops into your mind, “okay fine, I’ll go with you. Only if you tell me why the fuck you’ve been acting like such a douchebag ever since you left me. Oh and while you’re at it you can tell me why the fuck you left me without a single bit of explanation.”
His eyes close in frustration and you know he doesn’t want to have this conversation with you. Suddenly he reaches for your wrist and tugs you off the bench, surprising you and you almost fall to the ground. He keeps pulling at you until you’re near his car and that’s when you finally snatch your arm back from him. Giving him a dirty look. Now you’re both staring at each other, wet from the rain and pissed off just because of the other’s presence.
“God, what is your problem?”
“Ask your brother!” You can tell he didn’t mean to say that, his own eyes widen in shock as yours furrow in confusion.
“What are you talking about?”
He doesn’t answer, opting to turn around and ignore what he just said, but you’re having none of it right now. Instead, you pull his arm and force him to turn around and face you.
“For once, can you please just be honest with me Hongjoong,” you plead, you’re sure the rain dripping down your face makes you look even more pitiful, you just want the truth from him.
His eyes soften on you as he pulls you closer to him, he rests his hand on your cheek and leans into you. His lips are so close to yours and you can feel his breath when he speaks, “I never stopped loving you (y/n),” he says it so quietly you’re surprised you can hear him through the rain.
“Then why did you leave me?” Hearing his confession brings tears to your eyes. You know he genuinely means what he says, you can see it in his eyes. It hurts to hear him say he still loves you because he stopped showing it so long ago.
“I promise you I didn’t want to…” He begins to pull away again and you let him. Unsure of where to go from here. He leans against the hood of his car, looking at you with sadness.
“But you did anyway,” he reaches his arm back out for you to take and he pulls you close to him once again. This time when he leans in, he goes all the way and you feel his lips connect with yours. The feeling is so familiar and it spreads warmth throughout your shivering body. You missed this, his lips on yours and his hands at your waist, gripping you against him like he was going to lose you. You know he loves you, you can feel it with the way his soft kiss turns a little rougher and his grip on gets a little tighter. It’s two years worth of love, lust, and pain rolled up in one. You revel in the feeling of his kiss until you remember you have a boyfriend.
You pull away suddenly and you can’t even look at him. Afraid of what you’ll see, because if his face conveys any of the emotions you feel inside then you won’t be able to stop yourself from kissing him again and again until it turns into something even more regrettable than what it already is. You wipe at your face in frustration, trying to erase the tears that mixed with raindrops on your cheeks. This wasn’t what you were expecting today, and his sudden switch to being the Hongjoong you used to know and love has your heart hurting.
You rush to the side of the car to open the door and sit inside. Hongjoong stay outside for a little while longer until he finally comes in too. When he shuts the door you can both feel the tension in the, so thick it could be cut with a knife. You don’t look at him, instead you stare out the window, watching as the rain once again goes down heavier than before. There are so many things the two of you could say to each other, but neither of you can find the courage to speak. The one resounding thing you feel is guilt. You shouldn’t have let Hongjoong kiss you, and you definitely shouldn’t have taken so long to remember Yunho. Your head begins to hurt at the thought of having to see Yunho again, and deciding on whether or not you should tell him what happened.
You’re pulled out of your thoughts with the car stopping in front of your dorm. You make your way to leave until Hongjoong grabs at your hand. You snap your head to face him and it looks like he has something to say, but he decides against it. Instead he gets closer to you to lay a ghost of a kiss on your lips once more. This time you don’t kiss him back and once he leans away from you, you dash out of the door and into your dorm.
When you walk into your dorm room, clothes soaked and looking an absolute mess, you want nothing more than to just collapse onto the bed and sleep away the day. Rather than get your bed wet, you hurry to take a shower with a million thoughts racing through your head. You think about how Hongjoong brought up your brother when you questioned what his problem was with you. When Joong told you he loved you again and kissed you, you had completely forgotten that he mentioned Seonghwa. Now that was the only thing you could think about, that and the feeling of his hands on your waist.
Once you finish showering and dressing in your night clothes, you lay on your bed and stare straight up at the ceiling. You feel your phone buzz at your side and you see a text from Hongjoong. It’s the first time you’ve received a text from him in the two years you’ve been broken up. You almost don’t want to look at it, you’d rather force yourself to fall asleep than to have to face him. Unfortunately, the anxiety of what he could have sent forces you to look at your phone.
jh: i’m sorry
You stare at his text, wondering what to say until he sends another.
jh: i think you should talk to hwa
why can’t you just tell me?
jh: i think it would be better coming from him
jh: i just need you to know that i never stopped caring about you, no one could ever compare to you or what i feel for you
You put your phone down after you see his message, feeling way too overwhelmed. You’ve spent so long trying to get answers out of him, to only find out that the answers to your questions should be coming from Seonghwa. You rack your brain, and it feels like you know what happened, but you just don’t want to admit that Seonghwa would ever intentionally ruin your relationship. He didn’t even know about it to begin with. He can’t ruin something if he never knew it existed… unless he somehow figured it out.
You fall asleep after a lot of tossing and turning, and wake up restless. Calling Seonghwa is the first thing on your list but when you do so it goes straight to voicemail. You’re irritated by your lack of sleep and Seonghwa’s lack of care for you. If he won’t answer his phone then he’ll definitely answer you knocking on his door like the annoying little sister you are. And, you have a key now so you won’t have to worry about Hongjoong answering the door, you can just sneak into their apartment.
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The walk to the apartment is uneventful, and you try to clear your mind of all things you may be uncovering today. The air still smells like rain, and it’s a little chilly out, you hug your sweater closer to you and enjoy the quietness of the campus. It’s the calm before the storm.
Opening the door slowly, you’re careful to not make too much noise. It sort of feels like breaking in but since you have a key you’re sure it’s probably fine. You tiptoe into the living room and shut the door behind you at a sloths pace.
“What are you doing?” Hongjoong’s voice sounds behind you and you nearly jump through the ceiling with how surprised you are. You turn around to face him and he has an amused smile on his face. His orange hair is disheveled and pieces hang in his face, your body moves faster than your mind as you push his hair from his eyes and rest your hand on his cheek. It’s so strange to have him look at you the way he used to, when you knew for a fact that he loved you. It’s such a stark contrast to the way he’s been treating you. Gone is the animosity in his eyes, all you see now is love. Before you can do something you definitely shouldn't, you hear a throat clear behind him and see your brother looking at you disapprovingly.
“Yeah (y/n) what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be seeing Yunho? He’s coming back from his grandma’s today right?”
Shit, you completely forgot he was coming back today. You were supposed to be meeting him at the diner in a couple of hours for a mini date. The mention of your boyfriend has Hongjoong stepping away from you and you watch him leave, knocking his shoulder into Seonghwa on his way to his room. You can’t remember the last time you saw animosity between your brother and his best friend, and you wonder if Hongjoong already told him about the kiss you two shared.
“So are you gonna answer the question or what?” you’re not used to Seonghwa speaking so harshly to you. He only ever does that when he’s pissed off and he very rarely gets mad, especially not at you.
“What’s with the fucking attitude Hwa?” maybe you shouldn’t be so confrontational, but his tone automatically has you on the defense. It always feels like being scolded by your parents whenever he speaks to you like this, and you hate it.
“Maybe it’s because you interrupted my date last night? Or maybe it’s because you kissed my best friend? It could also possibly be because you just so blatantly cheated on your boyfriend. Our parents raised you better than that by the way.”
You’re shocked by his answer. First off, you had no idea he was on a date. Second, it seems like Hongjoong did come clean to Seonghwa either last night or this morning. Third, you can’t really defend yourself against the cheating claim. It wasn’t like you kissed Joong on purpose, it just happened.
“He told me last night, when I asked him what his problem was with me, that I should ask you. So is there something you want to tell me, Seonghwa?” Now it’s Seonghwa’s turn to look shocked, not expecting for his best friend to throw him under the bus like that.
“You really wouldn’t understand if I told you.”
“Told me what? I’ve been trying to figure why he’s been icing me out for two years and he’s telling me that you have all the answers, so what is Hwa? What is it?” your voice raises, and you’re just desperate for someone to tell you the fucking truth.
“I told him to break up with you,” he doesn’t look you in the eye when he says this, instead staring off to the side as he runs a hand through his hair.
“Y-y-you what?!” You can feel your body begin to shake. You’re not even sure what emotion you feel right now.
“How did you know we were even dating?”
“I’m not an idiot (y/n). Joong spent a lot of time with me but around the time that you two started dating is when he was showing up at the house a lot more than usual. And you know how jealous he gets. Anytime he caught wind of someone having a crush on you he’d shut it down faster than I could.”
“Why would you tell him to break up with me Seonghwa?”
He sighs, “I just figured it would be better for the two of you.”
“No no no. You can’t just leave it at that. I need a real explanation from you. Why would you do that??”
“Honestly, I just thought that the two of you shouldn’t have to be tied down to each other. He was starting college and you were dealing with being a teenager. You both were bound to worry about the other all the time and for what? Besides, it worked out fine. He found Lia and you found Yunho. What’s the big deal?”
He’s right, Seonghwa isn’t an idiot, so you know his explanation is pure bullshit.
“It’s a big deal because I had to deal with my heartbreak all alone when all along you knew about it. You knew that every single time you called home and I sounded so sad it was because your best friend had broken up with me and you did nothing to comfort me. What? Did you tell him to pretend to hate me too???”
He places his hands on his hips, beginning to get frustrated, “it was just a high school romance you know those don’t mean anything. Are you forgetting you’re with Yunho?”
“No Hwa! I’m not forgetting that I have a boyfriend, okay?? But Hongjoong would’ve been my boyfriend right now if it weren’t for you meddling in a love life that isn’t yours. It had nothing to do with you!”
“It had so much to do with me? Are you kidding?”
“What are you talking about?!”
“My best friend and my sister get together. What happens when you two break up? Am I supposed to pick a side? You know I’d choose you because you’re my sister and I love you but I didn’t want to have to make that choice if I didn’t have to!”
You’ve never known Seonghwa to be a selfish person. In all your childhood he always put you first, always and without question. Last piece of pizza? All yours. Walking on the part of the sidewalk nearest to the street? Would always place you right next to him so that he was near the street instead, just to keep you safe. Crying because Hongjoong was being mean to you when you all were in middle school? Seonghwa beat him up just for you. This was so out of character for him, so selfish in a way you never ever knew him to be. It gives you whiplash.
“So that’s it? You broke us up because you didn’t want to lose your best friend?” It seems ridiculous to you that he’d break the two of you up over something so miniscule. He doesn’t respond to you, opting to look away instead.
“In case you forgot, we broke up. And look at that, you still have your best friend and your sister. It’s as if my relationship with him had and has nothing to do with you Seonghwa.” You feel your phone buzz in your pocket and you decide to busy yourself with that instead of continuing this conversation with your brother. You’re irritated at him, and you have to admit you’re also irritated with Hongjoong too. He could’ve just told you why he was acting so distant instead of making you his enemy.
You regret looking at your phone, seeing it’s a message from Yunho. You don’t have to read it to know he wants to see you as soon as he possibly can. Ever the sweetheart, he probably brought you some cute little knick knack from his grandma’s town and wants to give it to you. You sigh, barely looking at Seonghwa as you turn back around to leave his apartment. He approaches you quickly and wraps his hand around your wrist, forcing you to turn and look at him.
“What do you want?”
“Where are you going?”
“Don’t pull that ‘I’m such a caring brother’ act with me right now. I don’t want to talk to you,” you feel childish as you snatch your wrist from him and slam the apartment door behind you, leaving him to stare at his door in silence. You now have a new problem to deal with, and you have no idea what you’re gonna do about it. Another buzz comes from your phone and this time you do look at it, Yunho wants to meet you at the diner right now and he’s wondering if it’s a good time for you. It isn’t, but you can’t avoid him forever. It’s better to rip the bandaid off now.
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The diner sits in front of you, in all its vintage looking glory. It’s only ever brought you joy and great memories in all the time you’ve eaten inside with either your boyfriend, or your brother and his best friend. Now though, you feel nothing but dread. You can see Yunho’s frame through the window, he’s sipping on a milkshake, and you know he’s taking tiny sips just to leave some of it for you. He’s on his phone, probably scrolling through instagram, completely unaware of the betrayal from his loving girlfriend. You try to tell yourself you had no control over Hongjoong, but it’s a lie. You could’ve pushed him away, could’ve never let him pull you close to him, could’ve done so many things to prevent what you did, but you didn’t. If you think about it hard enough, you can still feel his lips on yours, and his lips felt more like home than Yunho’s ever have.
Your body goes into autopilot as you walk through the diner door and head towards the booth he’s in. He flashes you his big and beautiful smile, but you don’t have it in you to reciprocate the same expression. You give him a timid smile, and he immediately picks up on your mood as you sit down in front of him. He reaches for your hands and you hesitate before putting your hands in his. He’s looking at you worried, and you don’t know how to begin the conversation.
“What’s wrong princess?”
The nickname sends a pain through your heart, and you briefly wonder if you can just hide your infidelity. You could lie and say that you’re just not feeling too good, that you got caught in the rain and you’re pretty sure it got you sick. Do you feed him a lie and deal with it later? Or do you tell him the truth and watch everything crumble around you right now?
“I kissed someone else,” before you can even really think about it, you’re blurting out the truth. Both your eyes and his widen in shock at your admission.
“Oh…” he keeps your hands in his, but his grip on you is definitely looser than it was before you spoke.
“I’m sorry…”
“Who did you… kiss?”
“Do you really want to know?” You can see the way he’s thinking about it. Unsure if knowing or not would make things better. He finally nods his head slowly, he wants to know who it was.
“Hongjoong,” it’s clear that he’s shocked with the way he looks at you, confusion etched across his features, hands in yours how retreating into his lap.
“How did that happen?” You tell him everything. From start to finish, not just the events that occurred outside of the library, but the story of you and Hongjoong. You need him to understand that there’s just history there, and he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s you, it’s your fault. Truly a stereotypical ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ type of deal but it’s the truth.
As you recount your story, Yunho listens on, expressionless for the most part. When you finish he’s unreadable. Neither of you say anything once you’re done, and he continues to stare at you before slowly nodding his head.
“So we’re breaking up,” the statement shouldn’t surprise you. You know damn well that your heart doesn’t belong to him and now he knows too. You can’t blame him for wanting to end things, but it still hurts nonetheless.
“If… if that’s what you want then yeah…” your voice is barely above a whisper, and you feel your cheeks heat up in shame. You avert your eyes from him and struggle to keep the tears from surfacing. You don’t reserve the right to feel emotional like this, if anything Yunho should be the one on the verge of tears, not you.
“It’s not really what I want but it’s probably for the best I think. I’m not too fond of being someone’s second choice,” he says this with a sad smile, it stings but you know he has a point. Yunho is way too good of a guy to just be second best to anyone. You nod your head in understanding and wonder where to go from here.
“So now what?”
“I don’t know actually. I brought you something from my grandma’s, she was trying to teach me how to knit and I made this thing for you.” He reaches into his bag and pulls out a dorky looking hat. It’s a little ugly, and you can tell it was made by an amateur but it’s still so cute. It brings a smile to your face as you reach out for it tentatively. He gives it to you and urges you to put it on, and you oblige. He bursts into laughter, seeing it on you and whips out his phone to take a picture of you.
“It looks pretty bad,” he says in between giggles. He shows you the picture and you resist the urge to tear the thing off of your head. It is so ugly.
“I guess this is my karma,”.
“Oh for sure.” He gives you a soft smile and gets up from the booth. You try to give him the hat back but he shakes his head at you.
“Keep it, it’s yours. I made it for you.” So you do keep it. You place it on your head, not really caring about the way that people look at you when they come in and see the monstrosity of a hat adorning your head. You revel in how great of a person Yunho is. He could’ve yelled at you, been pissed off and caused a scene but he took the breakup in stride and listened to you. He displayed an elegance you know you could never pull off. You hope that someday soon you can be his friend, but for now you’ll give him the time and space he needs to get over you.
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Weeks have passed and you decided to keep your distance from Seonghwa and Hongjoong. You’re still irritated with your brother, and you’re also trying to sort out your feelings for Hongjoong. In the meantime you spend your time alone, studying and walking around campus with your ugly little beanie. Surprisingly you’ve gotten some compliments about it and you’re not too sure if they’re being sarcastic or not, but you don’t think about it for too long. You even see Yunho on campus from time to time, and he always bursts into the biggest grin when he sees you wearing the hat he made.
You’re sitting in a small café, that’s a bit away from campus, sipping on an americano when you hear a snicker from behind you. Instantly, you know that the person laughing is doing so because of your hat and you do your best to ignore it. You’re not anywhere near campus, so you’re pretty sure it’s probably some high schooler who’s bound to say a snarky little comment about your attire. The person comes from behind you and sits at your table, you’re surprised to see it’s Hongjoong. You go to this café to avoid seeing other college students but here he is nonetheless.
“Nice hat,” he smirks at you.
“Thanks, my ex gave it to me.”
“Ex?” His eyebrows shoot up at that. You had never told Seonghwa about your breakup with Yunho, so it’s no surprise that Hongjoong knew nothing about it.
“Yup,” you say, putting emphasis on the p. You decide not to give him any information on purpose, curious to see his reaction.
“Did you break up with him because of that ugly ass hat?” he snickers, very obviously content.
“No actually he broke up with me because I kissed my ex.” At that, he at least has the gall to look a little ashamed.
“So you told him about that…”
“It wasn’t my intention to ruin your relationship,” he sighs. You know it wasn’t, things happen, you’re not mad at Hongjoong for kissing you. In the weeks you’ve been avoiding him, all you could think about was his lips on yours.
“I know Joong,” you keep the sass out of your voice as you say it, hoping to come off genuine.
He nods his head a little before asking, “why aren’t you talking to Seonghwa?”
Of course he’d ask that. Seonghwa had been texting and calling you damn near everyday. According to your roommate, he had also stopped by your dorm on multiple occasions. You were able to avoid him by staying over at Lia’s place. Of course you had told her everything that had happened, and instead of being upset with you about the whole Hongjoong situation, she had actually taken it in stride. Shrugging her shoulders and stating that she figured something had gone on between the two of you, it wasn’t really much of a surprise to her. Meanwhile, you knew Seonghwa was freaking out about your whereabouts, but you were also an adult and could take care of yourself just fine.
“You know why I’m not talking to him,” you let out a sigh and took a sip of your coffee, deciding to stare out of the window instead of at Joong.
“And why aren’t you talking to me?”
“I am talking to you, that’s what we’re doing right now isn’t it?”
“You know what I mean (y/n),” and that you did. Hongjoong had also sent you a couple messages, asking to meet up or to just talk, whether it be in person or on the phone. You had ignored him so that you could figure out what to do.
“Honestly Hongjoong, I wish you had told me what was going on instead of completely shutting me out,” tired of beating around the bush, you finally let your feelings out.
“You know I couldn’t tell you, Seonghwa wa-”
“Why does Seonghwa matter in this situation?” you interrupted him, “it was my relationship with you, Hongjoong. You and me. Not you, me and my brother, he should’ve never been a factor,”.
“He just wanted to be a little selfish. Can you blame him?”
“Please explain to me how that makes sense, because I truly do not understand,”.
“Think about it (y/n). He’s always been around for you, has always put your needs before his own, put your happiness before his own, honestly I think he loves you more than he loves himself. For him, I think it was just a moment where he finally wanted something for himself. That something being me. I can tell you he didn’t want to keep us apart for some malicious intent, he was just being selfish because he’s never been selfish with you before,”.
It did make sense, in a way. Hongjoong’s right, Seonghwa always went out of his way to make sure you got anything and everything you wanted, he was the type of brother that you could go to for any little thing and he’d be right there for you. Your big brother was your best friend and the person you looked up to the most. You suppose that Seonghwa probably just wanted to keep Hongjoong for himself, and not have to share him with you. It definitely hurt to finally understand his motivation, but you couldn’t blame him. You weren’t sure what you would do if things were the opposite way around.
You sigh, “so how does he feel about us now?”
“He feels like a major asshole about it. He’s really sorry (y/n) you have to talk to him.”
You nod your head and look away again, until you feel Hongjoongs hand grab onto yours. He looks at you longingly and brings your hand to his lips, “I’ve missed you so much,” this display of affection is unusual for him. But, you guess that going years having to hide how much you love someone will bring out even the smallest bit of PDA from a person who isn’t very fond of it.
“What about Lia?”
“What about her?” he asks, confused.
“You still loved me but you decided to date her. And god knows how many other girls,” you feel like an insecure high school girl as you say this, but it’s something that has been weighing on your mind for a while.
“Lia’s been the only other girl I’ve been… intimate with, besides you. And I did like her, she’s a sweet girl but she wasn’t you. I knew she and I weren’t going to last. I just needed someone to keep me away from you.”
“That’s kind of an asshole thing to do Joong,” you frown at him in disapproval.
“Well I’ve apologized to her, made amends, talked it out. We’re cool now.”
“Oh is that so?”
“Yeah, who do you think told me you were here. This place is so hidden away I circled the block like three times before I could find it.”
“She told you I was here and you didn’t run and tell Seonghwa?” You raise your eyebrow in amusement.
“I wanted to see you first. Like I said, I’ve missed you,” he rubs his thumb over your hand and you let him. You both sit in silence for a while, basking in this small moment of affection.
“Go on a date with me,”.
“Are you asking or telling me Joong,” you chuckle.
“A bit of both,” he flashes you a toothy smile and you can’t help but to roll your eyes before nodding your head, saying yes to a date with him. He leans over the table and places a chaste kiss on your cheek, before squeezing your hand and telling you he has to go but he’ll text you the details. He leaves and just as you're about to fall into your head he knocks at the window and shouts at you to talk to Seonghwa. You mouth back an okay and he finally leaves.
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The next time you see Seonghwa, you’re walking back to your dorm room after class. He had been waiting at the steps of your dorm hall, and you can only assume he’s been there all day. When he sees you he rushes over to you and pulls you into his arms.
“You’ve been ignoring all my calls, and my messages. I haven’t seen you in what feels like years. I had half a mind to put out a missing person’s report,” he’s squeezing you so hard you can barely breathe and you struggle to get out of his reach.
“Calm down Hwa jeez, I’m an adult.”
“The last time we spoke you were mad at me and then ignored me for two weeks, don’t tell me to calm down,”.
You roll your eyes and gesture for him to sit back down. You take a seat next to him and wait for a group of girls to pass by before you finally look at him. His expression is worried, and you feel kinda bad for purposely ignoring him. You told yourself that you would talk to him, but life got hectic, besides you were sure he was gonna find you somehow anyway.
“I’m not mad at you anymore,”.
“You’re not?”
“No. I’m not. I talked to Hongjoong about it.”
“You spoke to Hongjoong?” this was obviously news to him, apparently Hongjoong never told him about your little rendezvous in the café.
“Yeah, we talked. He explained the situation to me and I’m not mad anymore. Just like, don’t meddle in my love life again, please?
“I’m sorry about that by the way, I never meant to be so selfish about it I was just going through something I guess, I don’t know,”.
You brush it off before saying, “it’s in the past, I'm not too worried about it anymore, and I forgive you so let’s just leave it at that. Okay?”
“Okay (y/n)”
“Also, I doubt he told you so I guess I will: Hongjoong asked me out on a date,”.
“He did? What about Yunho?”
“Oh we broke up.”
“What?? Why??”
“Well I’m in love with your best friend so… ya know, kinda had something to do with that.”
“Are you okay? With the whole break up thing?”
“Yeah I’m fine, it hurt a little bit of course but it was for the best. Besides, he gave me this really ugly hat so it’s not too bad,” you point at the top of your head and Seonghwa finally takes notice of your ugly beanie.
“Maybe he hated you all along, that is so bad,” he gives you his signature pained smile and you can’t help but to laugh.
“I’ve grown to love it, I really really have.”
“So you and Hongjoong huh?”
“Yup. Are you okay with that?” you tilt your head to the side as you look at him, gauging his reaction.
“Yeah I am. I just want the both of you to be happy,” he wraps his arm around your shoulder and squeezes you to him. Everything feels okay again and it makes you feel good inside.
“Oh hey by the way, whatever happened to that date you had?”
He groans and recounts the horror story of the date that he had with some guy whose name he can’t even remember.
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When the time for your date with Hongjoong arrives, you can’t help but to feel excited. It brings back memories of when he first asked you out back in highschool. You don’t feel nervous like the way you did when you were a teenager, you just feel ready to finally be with the love of your life.
The time you spend with Hongjoong feels familiar, and safe, he feels like home to you. He decides to take you to eat at a nice restaurant, one that is way too pricey for a college student like him. When you ask him how he got the money to buy you such an expensive dinner, he only winks at you and mentions something about the music he’s been producing lately. Throughout dinner he finds a way to touch you in some way, whether that be holding your hand, or touching your thigh. He just doesn’t want to let you go. It feels so natural being with him, like the two of you had never broken up in the first place. Except you did, and you’re both made aware of it when you recount stories to each other that you’ve never heard before. It’s bittersweet in a way, but at least the two of you had the opportunity to know what it’s like to be single, although you both prefer to be with each other instead. You love hearing him speak, and love seeing the way his eyes sparkle when he smiles. This is the man you love, the man you missed so dearly, and you hope he’s the one you can grow old with someday.
After dinner he drives you to a hill that overlooks the city. The whole time his hand is in yours, rubbing reassuring circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, a little habit he’s had since high school. You watch him as he drives, the city lights illuminating his profile and you think that you’ve never seen something so beautiful. You almost want to take a picture, but you decide against it, opting to live in this moment with him instead. He looks at you from the corner of his eye and flashes you a smirk.
“What are you looking at baby?” He takes his hand out of yours and places it on your thigh, squeezing it a bit. The pet name and the way he touches you fills you with warmth.
“My husband,” the answer is blunt, but when you know, you know. It’s his turn to blush as he tries to contain the grin overtaking his face. He keeps his eyes on the road, and you keep your eyes on him, wanting to ingrain this memory into your head forever.
When you arrive at the hill he tells you to stay in the car as he rushes to open the door for you. He even holds your hand and helps you out of it, before putting his hands over your eyes and leading you to the railing. He’s gentle with you, keeping you close to his body since it’s a little chilly out. He finally takes his hands from your eyes and your left gaping at how beautiful the sight is. You see how alive the city looks at night, how beautiful it is, and you revel in the fact that you get to share something so wonderful with your lover. He isn’t looking at the view though, he’s just looking at you.
He takes his finger and puts it under your chin, gently moving your face so that you’re looking at him instead. He leans into you slowly, and your eyes flutter shut before his lips even meet yours. The finger that rests under your chin moves to your cheek as he cradles your face in his hand. His other hand reaches down to your waist, drawing you in even closer to him. You feel like you can’t get enough of him as your own hands tangle in his hair. You love him with everything you have and you want him, need him, to feel the way you love him. The kiss makes you breathless and you soon have to pull away, but he doesn’t let you get far as he begins to place butterfly kisses along your face, starting at your forehead, down to your nose, and finishing at your jaw.
You peck him one last time on his lips, and as much as you would love to intensify the kiss one more time, you know you’ll have plenty of opportunity to show him how much you love him later on in the night.
You turn back around to face the city view and he sidles up behind you, his arms hug you from behind and he pulls you close to him. The two of you enjoy each other’s warmth as you watch the way the city twinkles. His chin rests on your shoulder and he whispers in your ear all the things you missed hearing from him when you two weren’t together. He tells you how much he loves you, over and over again. He assures you that he’ll never ever leave you again. You’re his and he’s yours and that’s what’s most important to him. He kisses your cheek and you close your eyes, basking in the way he loves you.
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gukyi · a year ago
the love project | jjk
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summary: from running to mcdonald’s at 3am after a halloween party where the two of you dressed up as the teletubbies to timing how long it takes for him to drink a cup of monster mixed with mountain dew and iced coffee and then do fifty push-ups, you’re used to your best friend jungkook asking you to do all sorts of crazy things. but, of all the shit the two of you do, letting him follow you around for a week with a camera and take candid photos of you for a photography assignment might just be the craziest of them all.
{college!au, friends to lovers!au}
pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader genre: fluff, comedy word count: 12k warnings: college antics, hopeless pining, slow burn a/n: me: this fic will be 10k max! also me: actually nevermind on par for the course of this blog, i hope you enjoy this fic! it was so much fun to write and it definitely got me back into the ~writing mood~. more fics coming soon!
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These days, the weeks pass you by like trains on a platform. They whiz past you, the only discernible features being the beginning and the end of them, with the middle nothing but a blur. 
At least, that’s how it feels when you’re in college, and the days bleed into weeks bleed into months, and suddenly you’re one year closer to graduating, one year closer to figuring out what next to do with your life, even if you’re still missing that one general education requirement you forgot to take in your first year so now you’re trying to cram it into your schedule at the last minute.
Okay, you’ll admit it. Introduction to Astronomy is kicking your ass. That’s what you get for putting it off until junior year, when you’re supposed to have reached the point in your History major career where you don’t have to look at numbers anymore and the idea of doing basic math is absolutely unfathomable. History majors don’t do math. They just don’t. It vanished from your academic arsenal long before now, alongside your ability to interpret word problems and understand science textbooks. 
Perhaps in another universe, you would have actually retained those skills past high school, but that universe is not this one, and so your problem sets can solve themselves or not be solved at all. 
Your best friend would have to disagree.
“It’s not even calculus!” Jungkook exclaims over a mouthful of a Starbucks tomato and pesto panini, pointing to your laptop in exasperation, as if the answer has been staring you in the face for the past fifteen minutes. “It’s just algebra! All you’re doing is plugging the numbers into the formula and finding the missing variable!”
“Easy for you to say,” you huff, furiously erasing at the notebook in front of you as you get yet another incorrect answer. Who knew math could be so difficult? Oh, that’s right. You did. “You took that advanced differential equations class for fun last year. It’s not even required for your major. You’re just a masochist.”
“Says the person who convinced their advisor to let them take seven classes because they, and I quote, ‘all seemed so interesting’ and you ‘didn’t want to miss out.’” Jungkook rebukes pointedly. “Because your life would be so terrible if you didn’t take Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe.”
He’s got you there. Seven classes is a lot. In your defense, Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe was very interesting and you got a 4.0 that semester. So who is he to judge? Jungkook’s favorite pastime is pretending that taking three different computer science classes in a single semester isn’t going to single-handedly kill him.
Jungkook watches you struggle for a few moments more before he sighs, like he can’t take looking at someone so mathematically incompetent any longer. He stuffs the remaining third of his Starbucks panini into his mouth all at once like the ravenous beast he is before he reaches over the tiny table you’re sat at to look at your problem set himself. He turns your laptop towards him and grabs hold of your notebook, furrowing his eyebrows as he enters Work Jungkook Mode. 
Work Jungkook Mode is the mode of him you see most often during finals week or the rare occasions where you meet up to actually try and get work done. Work Jungkook has tunnel vision for whatever assignment is currently in front of him, which he will do either in one sitting or die trying. Work Jungkook lets his coffee get cold and forgets to answer your text messages, even when you’re sat right across from him and you know that he can see the notification on his laptop. Work Jungkook refuses to turn in anything that he hasn’t devoted his entire being to, even if it’s something as simple as a discussion board post. Some of his other friends say that when Jungkook is in Work Jungkook Mode, they won’t even try to contact him, lest their messages get lost in the flurry of his coding assignments. 
But you are not “some of his other friends.” You are his best friend. So rules do not apply to you. And Jungkook has long accepted that fact.
“Hey, don’t mess up my work—” You exclaim defensively, grabby hands reaching over the table to retrieve your notebook. “Wait, how did you do that?”
Jungkook scribbles something down in nearly-illegible font, determined to solve the problem in front of him. He thinks for a few more seconds before eventually jotting down an answer, circling it with his pencil. Holding the notebook out so both of you can see, he scoots his chair over to your side of the table, your shoulders pressed together in this tiny corner of the Starbucks, right by the bathroom, and explains, step by step, what he did. 
He does that for the following two problems in your set, walking you through the kind of math he was doing in freshman year of high school like it’s nothing, answering all of your stupid questions and giving you tips on how to finesse the system by taking as many shortcuts as possible. Teaching you things you never learned, or possibly had just forgotten. Things that a professor would think is idiotic to re-teach to a junior in university. Things that Jungkook wants you to know because he just wants you to have a little more faith in yourself. 
“Does that help?” He asks when he’s finished, still doubting his fantastic teaching abilities despite the fact that he just taught you more in the last thirty minutes than your professor has managed in a month and a half. 
“It actually does,” you tell him, pleasantly surprised. Looking back down at your notebook, what was once a shapeless blur of numbers, letters, and formulas is suddenly a clear and organized outline of each and every step to follow. “I didn’t know it was that easy.”
“Anything can be easy if you just commit yourself to learning how to do it,” Jungkook says, one of those random sentences that are too wise for a college student surviving off of RedBull and Starbucks food, the ones that always make you think Jungkook is secretly an immortal sage with life experiences far beyond your own. “Except coding. Which is hard no matter how good you are at it.”
“Aw, you can do it,” you rally, reaching up to pinch his chin in between your fingers and squeeze it tight. “It’s also too late to change your major now, so you’re stuck.”
“Wow, thanks for the encouragement,” Jungkook chides, hand coming up to rub at where you held his jaw, rolling his eyes. “You should let me help you with your Astronomy work more often. Gives me a break from Python.”
“I would have made you help me whether you liked it or not,” you tell him pointedly, because he is your best friend and he doesn’t get out of things as easily as he thinks he can. “But thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”
“Of course,” Jungkook says with a good-natured grin, always so selfless and kind and giving. He practically signed himself up for a semester’s worth of TA-ing for Introduction to Astronomy despite the constant mountain of work he has himself. Just because it’s you. 
“My very own personal genius,” you muse, wrapping your hands around his arm and snuggling into his body, a whisper of a language only the two of you share. It’s something the two of you have long gotten used to, pressing your fingers all over each other’s bodies like it’s second nature. One of the things that makes you feel so certain about having Jungkook in your life. About wanting him to stay with you for the rest of time. “I’m never letting you go.”
Jungkook smiles, a warm hand coming to rest atop of your own. He breathes, in and out, chest rising beneath your touch. “Like I’d ever let you,” he says.
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There is no question about it. Jungkook is one hundred percent, absolutely, undoubtedly, positively, indisputably smarter than you are. It’s something that the two of you used to jokingly fight about (because Jungkook claims that he’s a bad essay writer, even though he’s not), but at this point it’s cemented in stone—he’s a damn genius. A genius who is inexplicably good at everything. A double threat. Triple, if you count the fact that he’s built beyond belief and could probably chuck you into next week if you really, really ticked him off. 
The truth is that, ninety percent of the time it is you who is going to Jungkook for help. Whether it be an assignment you need assistance on (namely Astronomy, because Jungkook probably couldn’t help you on your Mesopotamian artifact and primary source analyses despite his best intentions), a date that was a lot worse than you were hoping it would be, or even just the right coffee to order from that expensive place on the corner. Jungkook knows how to fix everything. 
So when Jungkook slides into the seat across from you in the food court after his Mastering Photography class with that I’m in trouble look on his face, you know something is horribly wrong. 
“Are you alright?” You ask, concerned as you watch him devour the sushi takeout in front of him, stuffing the spicy tuna rolls into his mouth like they’re Skittles. His camera hangs haphazardly out of his open backpack, like he barely had enough time to stuff it into the pocket while he was making his way here. There’s a worried expression written all over his face as he fumbles with the chopsticks in his hand, losing his grip on them every ten seconds. 
It’s not until Jungkook has finished the container of spicy tuna rolls in front of them that he finally seems to work up the courage to answer you. 
“My Photography class is gonna be the death of me,” Jungkook exclaims, exasperated. 
“I thought you liked it,” you comment unhelpfully. Jungkook had been so excited to be enrolled in it, because you needed a recommendation from a different professor and you had to submit a portfolio in order to join the class, making it one of those exclusive (and thus, much better) courses. Not to mention the fact that Jungkook is basically already a professional photographer if his Instagram is anything to go by. He’s going to walk out of university with a Photography minor whether he realizes it or not.
“I do,” Jungkook insists, even if right now it sounds like the two of you both need convincing of that fact. “But this project is ridiculous. I don’t even know how my professor expects us to have the time to finish it.”
“What do you have to do?”
Jungkook sighs. Just thinking about it seems to stress him out. “I mean, it’s only really a week long. So I guess it’s not too bad. But we’re supposed to compile a portfolio of the same subject, taken over the course of the week, with them in all sorts of different poses and lighting and locations, to express a personal theme.”
You scrunch your nose up in confusion. “I might be wrong, but isn’t that what photography… is?” You ask cluelessly. 
“Yes,” Jungkook argues, “but also no. Photography is taking pictures of things just for the hell of it. Not because they necessarily speak to a part of your soul. You just like the look of it. You want to capture the scene. That’s it.”
“Oh,” You say dumbly. 
“And our subject can be whoever or whatever we want, but he recommended choosing a person because taking pictures of our water bottles in different places is boring,” Jungkook huffs, though his professor does have a point there. Modern history wasn’t made out of photographs of store windows and miscellaneous items. It was made out of people, out of events in their lives that shaped the rest of the world, out of personal experiences that changed their point of view. “But I don’t even know anybody who would be willing to let me photograph them for a whole week! I’d basically have to follow them around like paparazzi!”
“I’ll do it,” you suggest casually, because it seems like the most obvious choice to you. There’s no one Jungkook spends as much time with as you. 
Jungkook’s eyes pop out of his head. “What?”
“I’m serious,” you insist. “Think about it. You need a subject for your project that you can photograph in a wide variety of places and over the course of a week. Who else do you spend that much time with, other than me?”
“Well..” Jungkook begins, trying to fight your reasons with his own. “Would you even be comfortable with something like that? I mean, I’m literally going to constantly be taking photos of you.”
“Like we don’t already do that on our phones,” you tease, having amassed quite the album of terrible Jungkook pictures over the years. 
“A camera is different from a phone,” Jungkook protests weakly. 
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m just saying. It won’t bother me,” you say with a shrug. Why is Jungkook being so… weird about your suggestion? You thought he would be jumping at the offer, especially considering it means he won’t have to go out of his way to find and photograph someone else for this assignment. But he’s being rather hesitant. You watch as he glares down at his empty sushi takeout box, eyebrows furrowed in that thick, nervous way. “But you don’t have to,” you backtrack. “It was just a suggestion.”
He breathes in and breathes out, expression solid. Even from here you can see the cogs whirring in his brain, placing each and every potential result into a pro and con list inside his mind, trying to work out whether the benefits will be greater than the cost. 
Quite frankly, you don’t know what all the holdup is about. 
“You’re… sure about this?” He asks, looking up at you, determined to ensure your comfort. As if that’s even an issue. “You’re cool with being photographed and everything?”
“Only because it’s you,” you tease lightheartedly, expecting some sort of equally cheesy response. Instead, it makes Jungkook do something weird. He freezes in place, darting his eyes away from your gaze for a split second, collecting thoughts you can’t see. “Yeah,” you say loudly, trying to bring him back. “I’m fine with it.”
He inhales, exhales, closes his eyes, and opens them. “Okay then. I guess it’s settled. You’ll be my subject,” he declares, an almost unnoticeable wobble to his voice. It’s probably nothing, so you don’t think too hard about it.
“Can you at least pretend to be a little more excited about this?” You ask, jabbing him in the chest with a wooden chopstick. “It’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to be part of a project together!”
“Yay,” Jungkook says, lifeless. 
“How about a photo to commemorate it?” You suggest, reaching over to pull the camera out of his backpack, pushing it into his hands. “This can be the start of your portfolio.”
“Fine,” he eventually caves, bringing it up to his eye as he turns it on, twisting the lens to perfect the focus. Even caught off guard like this, he looks like a professional, like someone who was born to be behind the camera. He’s a computer science major but you know that photography will always be something special to him.
You strike a dramatic pose, holding your chopsticks out, one in each hand, with a wide, excited smile on your face. “How do I look?” You ask, scrunching your eyes together. 
Jungkook’s finger hovers over the silver button. “Perfect,” he tells you, voice soft and honest. 
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“So, how many photos are you supposed to take for this portfolio?” You ask as you flop around on Jungkook’s bed, pretending that the open tab on your laptop with your fifty-page reading doesn’t exist. You don’t even know why professors assign readings that long. Do they really expect you to read all of it?
From across his room, you can make out the top of Jungkook’s fluffy brown hair over his sleek gaming chair, one of the ones that look like high-tech airplane seats. “I don’t know,” he says. “He said at least twenty. And no more than fifty. Which really makes me wonder if someone once submitted like, one hundred photos for this project that he had to grade them on. But yeah.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you say. When you’re around a cute animal, you can easily take twenty photographs. Granted, they aren’t exactly award-worthy photographs, but it’s not a physically demanding task. 
“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “Hypothetically you could finish it in a day. But it looks really obvious.”
“Well, how many do you have now?”
It’s been a day and a half since Jungkook agreed to let you be his so-called muse, but already you’ve lost track of how many photos he’s taken of you. He loves his camera, you know that, but you didn’t realize exactly how much he loves his camera. And with you as the sole subject for his project, he’s practically letting it hang from his neck all day long, just waiting for the right time to snap a photo of you standing in line at the food court, frowning at your textbook, or waiting to meet up with him. Every time he sees you he snaps a picture, even if the lighting’s bad, even if you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, even if it’s midnight and you look like a zombie. In his mind, there are no bad pictures. Just memories.
You wonder what the hell he sees in you. 
“A lot,” Jungkook answers unhelpfully, making no effort to elaborate on that statement. 
“Have you counted?” You ask, getting off of his bed to join him at his desk. 
Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize what you’re doing until you’re standing right next to him, placing a hand over his shoulders as you lean down next to him. He fumbles around for a second, the mouse slipping through his grip, and you catch a glimpse of one of the photos he’s taken of you, a sliver of your pursed lips, the wrinkles between your eyebrows. 
It’s from the library yesterday. You didn’t even know Jungkook had taken a picture of you there. You had a stupid reading to complete last night, one that made no sense and was terribly-written, and you spent an hour just trying to figure out what the damn argument was, and Jungkook captured it. You were there for an hour and Jungkook was there too, watching you like it was nothing, waiting for the perfect moment. He was there, sitting across from you, camera at the ready. You didn’t even hear it click. 
He closes it before you get a closer look at the photo, frantically hitting the little red dot at the top corner of the window before you have a chance to ask why. 
“What, I’m not allowed to see?” You chide, a little bit hurt but more confused than anything else. Why is Jungkook being so secretive?
“No,” Jungkook spits quickly. making you raise an eyebrow in alarm. “I mean, it’s a surprise. You get to see when it’s finished. I still have to… uh, edit. And stuff.”
“Edit? You think I’m that ugly?” You tease, knowing that he probably means color correction but enjoying the way that he gets all flustered when he hears your voice.
Jungkook’s eyes widen at that, like he just realized he made a wrong turn and is desperately backtracking. “What, no! I don’t—I don’t think you’re ugly.”
You laugh, letting the sound of your voice ease the tension in his shoulders, reveling in the way his big doe eyes seem to soften when he realizes you were just teasing. He looks like a kid caught stealing a candy bar from a gas station, looks like one of those boyfriends in the viral videos where the girl reveals that she got him a present or something instead, all nervous and full of explanations. 
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you assure him, rubbing up and down his arm to soothe him, calm his heart down. “You don’t have to show me. I’m just excited. No one’s ever taken photos of me like this before.”
“I would,” Jungkook speaks up softly. “If you asked. I would.”
“I know,” You say. You’re not sure if there’s a thing in this world Jungkook wouldn’t do for you, and you, him. If he asked, you would pluck the stars from the sky for him. Bring him back a piece of the moon. Stop time. Anything. Everything. Just for him. “I know.”
 “What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, changing the topic as he whirls around in his gaming chair. 
“Just another reading, like always,” you dismiss, because you’re positive the last thing Jungkook wants to hear about right now is your primary source reading on irrigation techniques in agrarian Europe. You don’t even want to hear about it. “But I could use some help on Astronomy.”
Without another word, Jungkook gets up from his desk and the two of you head over to his bed, where an untouched problem set waits on your computer. He grabs a notebook from his backpack along the way before sitting down next to you on the edge of his bed, bodies pressed together. Slowly, he begins to coach you through each problem, step by step, drawing pictures and diagrams if he has to, until you finish all ten problems. 
The truth is, you didn’t really need help with this unit. Astronomy’s gotten a lot easier now that Jungkook has taught you the strategies to tackle it. But Jungkook sometimes feels like a ghost when he works, especially when he’s sitting at his desk, quiet and focused and almost invisible. And call you clingy, but you like it when you can look up and see his face instead of the back of a chair, a little tuft of wavy brown hair. You like it when he’s right beside you, in a place where you know you won’t lose him, where you can hold on if things get rough. Where you can see his stupid brown eyes and his goofy smile and know that he’ll always be there for you. 
When he’s finished, Jungkook doesn’t get back up to sit at his desk. He flops down on his back, staring up at the white ceiling of his room, eyes tracing the cracks. You join him, side by side, pretending that there’s something there. Looking up at the sky would be nicer, but it doesn’t really matter, so long as you’re with him.
“I didn’t know you took so many photos,” you say.
“I never want to miss anything.”
“You should give me more warnings, next time. I feel like I look so ugly in some of them.”
“No, you don’t. Don’t say stuff like that.”
“You don’t think I’m ugly?” You ask him, for real this time. It’s not that you think he’s going to say that he does, it’s that you want to know what he really thinks. How he really sees you. You turn your head to him, back pressed against his comforter, barely a foot apart. And he turns back to you, and he’s right there, right there in front of you, big brown eyes wide and blinking. He’s right there, how could you miss him?
“No,” Jungkook says, honest and true. He looks at you, looks right at you, right into you, and he muses to himself, chuckling. “Why would I ever think that?”
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At the end of the day, you can’t really be bothered to put on real pants in anticipation of Jungkook’s trigger-happy camera-taking tendencies. He’s seen you spill a boiling hot bowl of tomato soup all over yourself in the dining hall. He’s seen you at four in the morning in the library the night before finals begin, eyebags down to your knees and mismatched shoes on your feet. He’s seen you in the middle of a frat house, sweat dripping down your forehead and smelling of nothing but straight alcohol. Getting dressed up just for him would be antithetical to the very foundation of your friendship. 
You have, however, become keenly more cognizant in the last few days of when Jungkook is about to take a photo of you. Mostly because you glance up at your surroundings every three seconds to make sure you aren’t getting sniped from across the food court. Nobody else needs to see a picture of you picking up three pieces of sushi with your chopsticks and stuffing them all into your mouth at once. And, from what you can tell, you’ve been pretty successful, which either means you’ve gotten better at telling when Jungkook might be taking a photo of you, or Jungkook’s gotten better at hiding it. 
Either way, he’s got a lot more pictures of you reflexively flashing a peace-sign in his direction when you hear the telltale sound of his camera lens focusing, so you’re not really sure what that means for the fate of his portfolio. 
Besides your newfound hyper-awareness of the sound of a camera lens adjusting, the strangest part of you and Jungkook’s little project is how quickly the rest of your friends adjusted to this brand new dynamic. 
This is not to say this assignment is the weirdest thing you and Jungkook have done together, because there was once one week where you and Jungkook challenged each other to only eat bananas for every meal to see if anything would happen to either of you. Nothing did, but after that week you swore off bananas for the rest of your life and have had little appetite for them since. 
It’s more that your other friends have just accepted the fact that ridiculous, extravagant shenanigans are a necessary part of you and Jungkook’s relationship and have simply chosen not to question them anymore. At least, most of them have. 
“So, how’s you and Jungkook’s little photography fling going?” Maisie asks, and even through the phone you can hear the way she’s wiggling her eyebrows. 
“It’s not a fling, and it’s fine,” you hiss back, trying to keep your voice down as you pack up your belongings, phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder. “Stop speaking so loudly, everyone else in the library can probably hear you.”
“Good, because they’ve all probably noticed the way Jungkook’s been following you around like an unrestrained fanboy for the past four days taking pictures of you,” Maisie says pointedly, voice so sharp it causes you to look around at the other tables to make sure no one’s listening in. 
You frown, hoping your deadpan expression is audible through the phone. “It’s not like that and you know it.”
“Don’t you think it’s even a little strange that you’ve given Jungkook full permission to take photos of you like you’re a model and he’s some sort of weird, professional paparazzi?” You can practically see Maisie’s face in front of you, all wide eyes and raised eyebrows as she makes her point.
“No, it’s what we agreed on,” you remind her for the umpteenth time. There’s nothing weird about this. You’re helping him with a project, what more could it be? “Jungkook needed someone to take pictures of for his photography project and I thought it would be a good idea if I was that someone.”
“Hmm… wonder why…” Maisie trails off, deliberately vague and suggestive all at once. 
“You’ve been going on about this ever since Jungkook and I met, Maise,” you say with a roll of your eyes, tossing your backpack over your shoulder. “You know that Jungkook and I are just friends. Like we have always been.”
“Friends that take candid photos of each other under the guise of a project,” Maisie adds, and you can see the air quotes around the word “project” right in front of you.
“Friends that help each other out because that’s what friends do,” you correct. “You’re just going to have to accept the fact that Jungkook and I are always going to be just friends and nothing more. No matter how much money you’ve bet on us getting together.”
Maisie gasps. “I have not bet money on such a thing! This is slander!”
“Don’t think I don’t see you and Jimin’s damn Venmo history.” You pull up to the front desk of the library to check out a primary source book needed for one of your classes. It’s the first edition, and it’s battered beyond belief, but it’s better than paying for it. “Just this, thanks.”
“The only way you could convince me that you and Jungkook are just friends is if you go on a date or something,” Maisie comments snidely. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of you romantically interested in someone else the entire time you’ve known each other. Isn’t that proof enough?”
“You want me to go on a date with someone?” You demand, determined to get Maisie to hop off your ass about this. 
You and Jungkook are just friends. If swiping right with someone on Tinder and getting dinner and a movie with them is what will convince Maisie of that, then that is what you will do. It’s not as if being friends with Jungkook is mutually exclusive with you going out with other people. Should be easy, right? 
The boy behind the counter tells you your book is due back at the end of the semester, and you nod your thanks before heading out of the library.
“Fine, I’ll go on a date with someone. If it’ll get you to stop trying to convince me that Jungkook and I are gonna get married and have babies,” you declare, pushing your body against the door handles as you leave, five minutes to spare before your next class begins. 
“You guys would have really cute babies, I’m just saying,” Maisie points out like it’s nothing. 
You roll your eyes, taking the phone away from your ear as your finger hovers over the red button. “See you, Maise.”
You’re barely three steps out of the library, still rolling your eyes at the Call Ended screen on your phone when a voice catches your attention. 
You turn your head just in time to see Jungkook’s devilish grin disappear behind his camera, and you don’t even have time to blink before he begins snapping away, finger mashing the silver button at the top as your expression morphs from surprise to defeat, unable to counter his sniping abilities with a signature peace sign. Even from twenty feet away, you can hear Jungkook laughing as you take the opportunity to pose for a few moments, like you really are a model and he really is your personal photographer. The sound of his giggles fills the air, music to your ears, lingering between you like dandelion wisps, blown by the wind. 
Another voice breaks you from your trance. 
“And here we have our resident celebrity and her paparazzi,” Jimin says, motioning to the two of you as he speaks to an enormous tour group of potential applicants and their parents. Caught in front of them, the heat suddenly rushes to your cheeks as you instinctively cover your face, embarrassed to have been pointed out by Jimin, whose amicable, lovable personality is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to his part-time job as a tour guide. 
The worst part is how some of the parents and students seem to believe him for a second, that you really are famous and that Jungkook really is your photographer, looking at the two of you inquisitively as you shrink beneath their gazes. 
“I’m kidding,” Jimin quickly continues as Jungkook joins you where you stand, laughing at the way you look like a deer caught in headlights. “They’re just some friends of mine who we happened to catch outside the library, which is our next stop. But don’t they look so cute together?”
“Are you guys dating?” One of the students pipes up, asking what no one else dared to. 
Your eyes widen at the notion, wondering if you and Jungkook really are cursed to always be mistaken for a couple when you two have never been, and most likely will never be one. Shaking your head, you force out a laugh, “No, we’re just friends.” Beside you, Jungkook is noticeably silent. You suppose he’s gotten just as sick of explaining as you. 
“Bummer, right?” Jimin asks his group, earning a couple of disappointed nods from innocent high-schoolers that still believe in love. “But I’m working on that, so don’t worry. Anyway, this library will be your main destination for studying, book-reading, and everything in between, and is conveniently located two minutes away from the freshman dorms…”
The conversation finally drawn away from you and Jungkook, you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you had been holding in. “Weird, right? Even high-schoolers think we’re together.”
Jungkook doesn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the settings on his camera just to keep his hands busy. The quiet makes you wonder what is going on up inside his head, makes you wonder what it is he’s thinking about, what it is you’re not seeing. Lately, it’s felt like there’s something on Jungkook’s mind you wish he felt comfortable telling you. 
“Hey, you alright?” You ask, giving him a little nudge with your side. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” Jungkook says, voice soft, barely audible. It doesn’t make you feel any better. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Don’t you have class soon?”
“Oh, shit, you’re right, fuck,” you say, checking your phone only to find you have barely a minute to get to your next class. Guess you’ll be using one of your allotted absences today. “Thanks for reminding me. Dinner tonight?”
“I’ll text you,” Jungkook promises, and you nod your agreement as you dash off, determined to turn a five-minute walk into a one-minute one with the power of exercise. As you leave, you watch as Jungkook flounders outside the library, staring down at his camera and scrolling through his photos, and you still find yourself feeling like you’re missing something. What is Jungkook not telling you? 
What do you not know?
By the time you reach your class, two minutes late and completely out of breath, tardiness is the last thing on your mind.
This project was just meant to be a friend helping out a friend. So why does it feel like you and Jungkook are losing each other?
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Using Tinder is easy. Dangerously so.
You’re no expert in app design, but its simplified “yes or no” mechanic has you swiping through people like it’s an extreme sport, barely giving some of them a second glance if their Tinder profile description doesn’t make you laugh within the first sentence. 
Tinder was, admittedly, not your first choice of potential date-finding methods. Call you old-fashioned, but whatever happened to asking someone in person if they wanted to get a meal with you? To showing up at their doorstep with a rose bouquet and a toothy white grin? Perhaps all of those old-timey movies you and Jungkook always watched have given you unrealistic expectations. But can you blame them? 
Even if Tinder wasn’t your first choice, it was certainly the fastest. It takes a second to look at someone’s designated Tinder thumbnail, two to read their description, and three to decide if they’re worth a swipe right. Compare that to actively meeting up with someone, getting their contact information, and then continuing to dance around each other until you finally decide to get dinner together. That’s the sort of thing that could take weeks. Maybe months. And in some cases, years.
Besides, it’s not like you had very many options at your disposal. You don’t trust Maisie to set you up with someone because she’ll probably just choose one of the many boys from her management class and call it a day. Asking someone yourself is absolutely out of the question. And, for some strange, unknown reason, the idea of getting Jungkook to hook you up with one of his friends just doesn’t sit right with you.
So, Tinder it is. And as it turns out, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just archaic.
An hour into your mindless swiping, you get a message notification. Two hours after that, you’ve got plans with a nice senior boy whom you’ve never met. 
And for the first time in a very long time, there’s something to mark on your calendar for Saturday night.
The little blue block on your Google Calendar tab stares back at you from where your open laptop sits on your desk, the red line that signifies your current time slowly inching towards it as you fumble around in front of your mirror, more dressed up than you have been in weeks. Maisie was right. It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with someone that you’ve completely forgotten what the dress code is for something like this. A dress? Heels? Makeup?
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you will anyway. What if he’s wearing a hoodie and sweats while you look like you’re about to attend the goddamn Academy Awards? Maybe the eyeshadow was a little too much.
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks it’s inevitable that you do. The door to your apartment swings open, and you can hear heavy footsteps making their way to your bedroom, that easy gait of his familiar as always.
“Hey, do you think we can just get some take-out and watch a stupid old noir movie, or something? I’ve had a day,” he shouts out, the sigh audible in his voice.
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you definitely have when you turn around to see Jungkook standing right outside your bedroom in the floppiest sweater you’ve ever seen and jeans with holes in the knees, mouth agape as he stares straight at you. It’s impossible not to notice the way his eyes are blown wide at the sight of you, at the way they rake up and down your figure, like he can’t even believe what he’s seeing. It’s impossible not to notice how he seems to flounder at the sight of you.
The only thing that breaks the both of you out of your stupors, frozen in place like two criminals caught red-handed, is the sound of his hulking black backpack thudding to the floor. 
“Do you think it’s too much?” You ask, voice wobbly. God, why are you so nervous? It’s just Jungkook. 
“Too much for what?” Jungkook blinks, deliberate and slow, as if he’s determined to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. “Where are you going?”
“I think we’ll have to do a raincheck for the noir movie and takeout,” you say sheepishly, pursing your lips together in fright as you force out a small, tense smile. “I’m… going out. With someone.”
“Like,” Jungkook begins, and even from here you can hear the way he stops himself, hear him breathe out every word, thick on his tongue. “On a date?”
It’s a one-syllable word and yet it takes nearly all of your willpower just to say it. Just to confirm what Jungkook’s already thinking. Just to tell him, your best friend, your ride or die, your number one, that you’re going out on a date. 
“Oh.” Jungkook’s voice is lifeless. “Do I know them?”
“No, uh, it’s just some guy I met on Tinder. I don’t know, I just wanted to see what all the hype was about, I guess. And I haven’t really been on a date in a while, so I figured I might just take up the opportunity, so we’re probably just going to go out to a restaurant and maybe go to a club afterwards if we’re still in the mood, and—” You cut yourself off, so nervous that you’ve resorted to your terrible habit of rambling to try and ease the tension. “Why? Do you think it’s too much?”
“You use Tinder?” Jungkook asks instead. It sounds like he’s shocked to hear this. 
“Yeah…” you trail off. “Why?”
Jungkook freezes at the question, but it’s not because it seems like he doesn’t have an answer. It’s because it seems like he does. Only it’s an answer he doesn’t want to share. 
“Nothing, it’s nothing,” he eventually settles on, shaking his head. “You, uh, you look good.”
“You think? I feel like it’s a lot. I don’t know how to dress appropriately for stuff like this anymore,” you ask, palms sweaty as you furiously straighten out the skirt of your dress. “Should I change into pants, or anything?”
“No, no, I think that’s fine,” Jungkook says with an honest smile. “You look nice like this.”
“It’s probably been like, a year since you last saw me in a dress,” you comment mindlessly, turning back to face the mirror as you fiddle with your makeup, finger wiping away a bit of smudged lipstick or a stray bit of mascara. “I miss my sweats. Hey, whoa, wait, what are you doing—?”
You whip around to find Jungkook slowly fishing out the camera from his backpack, hand gripping it tightly as he brandishes it in front of you. 
“I, um, I just wanted to see if I could maybe take a photo of you,” Jungkook says, a small, little grin decorating his features. “Since you’re all dressed up.”
“Seriously?” You ask in disbelief. 
Jungkook nods, holding the camera out in front of him. “Just one.”
He looks so small, standing across your bedroom. He looks so small and delicate and intimate, body curled in on itself ever so slightly as he looks at you, the yellow glow of your ceiling light reflected in his hazelnut eyes, drowning beneath his clothes. He looks like he has never seen a moment more perfect, never seen an opportunity as clear, looks like he thinks that if he blinks he’ll miss it. 
Looks as if a photo will be the only way to remember it. 
And you nod. Because he is your best friend, and who are you to deny him of something so simple? Of a press of a button? It doesn’t feel like a project anymore. It just feels like a memory. 
Jungkook brings the camera to his eye, and you smile at him, soft and gentle and warm. He grins back, focusing the camera lens before snapping away. 
You wonder what he sees. 
(You wonder if it’s as beautiful as what you see.)
“Have fun tonight, okay?” Jungkook asks of you as your Google Calendar notification sounds, letting you know you have approximately two minutes before he’s supposed to pick you up outside your apartment.
You nod. “I will. And if I don’t, then I’ll come over afterwards. And we can watch that stupid noir film.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes, a shrug of his shoulders. 
“But I want to. So I will. Okay? I’ll text you,” you promise. “Don’t think I’ll forget about you.”
Jungkook smiles at your little tease, at the way you cup the side of his jaw with your hand as you head towards your front door. 
“Wait, Y/N,” Jungkook sputters out, running after you. He reaches you right as you get to the door, hand grasping the doorknob. You turn to look at him, blinking. “I hope tonight is everything you dreamed of.”
There is something so distinctly sad in his voice. It makes you wonder who has broken his heart. Makes you wonder what you can do to fix it.
“Even if it’s not,” you say to him, taking his hand in your own and squeezing it tight, reminding him that, no matter what, you’re still here. “I know you’ll always be there to take care of me afterwards.”
Your phone buzzes with a message from your date, and you scurry out the door. 
For some reason, there’s a part of you that wishes you never even left. 
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The date is okay. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. By the time you finished eating, it was obvious neither of you had any interest in continuing the night elsewhere, whether it be a club or a karaoke bar. He pays for your meal despite your insistence that you can handle the check perfectly fine on your own, thanks you for a nice night, and drops you right back at your apartment. And so goes your one and only Tinder experience, blowing away like a leaf in the wind. 
You look down at your phone. It isn’t even nine o’clock yet. 
[November 7th, 8:48PM]
You: you still game for that movie?
[November 7th, 8:50PM]
Jungkook: you finished your date already?
You: is that a yes or a no
Jungkook: my door is always open, you know that
You: you’re gonna get robbed one day and it’s gonna be by me You: i’m coming over
The walk from your apartment to Jungkook’s is six minutes and thirty seconds on a good day, and seven minutes and fifteen seconds on a bad day, which is usually dependent on if the traffic light over the main road has decided to be extra slow or not. You could walk the damn route in your sleep if you really wanted, having done it so many times in the last year and a half, ever since he moved out of on-campus housing and into his own place.
Tonight, it takes you nearly eight minutes to get to his apartment, but you mostly chalk that up to the heels you’re wearing. If you cared any less about your dignity, you’d probably take them off and walk barefoot like a defeated heroine in a romance movie, shoes dangling from your fingers as they hang low by your side. 
But you aren’t defeated. You didn’t have the world’s most spectacular date, but the night isn’t over just yet. 
Jungkook’s waiting at his front door by the time you arrive. 
“Eight minutes, huh? You’re getting old,” he asks snidely, looking down at the invisible watch on his wrist. 
“Your counting is just off,” you retort easily, falling into that same friendly rhythm, that familiar little beat that the two of you share. You push past him and into his apartment, instantly feeling more at home, shoulders sinking and heartbeat soothing as you soak in the scent of his room, of his home, of him. 
“How’d it go?” Jungkook asks, eyes hopeful as they watch you tug off your heels. They were hardly three inches tall and yet you still want nothing to do with them. 
You shrug. “Eh. It was okay.”
“Just okay?” Jungkook asks, sounding seriously upset for you. Upset that you didn’t have a good night even after you promised him that you would. Upset that it didn’t turn out to be everything you wanted. 
“I don’t know,” you admit, looking over at him, dejected. “It just—I just had this feeling that it wasn’t going to work out.”
Jungkook scowls to himself, eyebrows furrowing like he’s trying to figure out what exactly you mean by that. And the truth is, you’re not sure either. The date was fine, and he was nice, but even when you first met it felt like you weren’t going to get what you wanted from him. Like you were just going on the date to go on the date. Like you already knew that it would mean nothing. 
Jungkook was going to be waiting for you at the end of the night whether it went amazingly well or terribly bad. And knowing that, strangely enough, almost made you want the date to be horrible. Like it would make seeing Jungkook afterwards that much sweeter. 
“Oh,” Jungkook says lamely. “Well, I’m sorry. It seemed like you were really looking forward to it.”
“It’s alright,” you assure him. “Can we just watch this movie now and make fun of how sexist it is? Please?”
To that, Jungkook easily agrees. As he’s queueing up the movie, you raid his closet for a hoodie and sweatpants, desperate to strip yourself of your dress and tights and cozy up in clothes that are much more appropriate for your comfort level. At this point in your friendship, Jungkook doesn’t even question it when he sees you march into his room, fishing through his closet and drawers for your favorite matching set of his, this grey pair that he’s worn so much it still smells like him even after it’s come right out of the wash. 
He only stares back in awe when he sees you emerge from his bedroom wearing them. 
“Ready?” You ask, breaking him from his resolve.
Jungkook blinks wildly from where he’s seated on his dinky old couch, as if to clear his vision. “What? Oh, yeah, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Then hurry it up, Mister,” you demand, sitting down next to him and curling into his body. It’s instinctual, at this point, wanting to be close to him. To feel the warmth of his body radiate upon your own. To feel his chest beneath the palm of your hands, his arm wrapped around your side. “All good?” You ask, looking up at him. 
Jungkook looks down at you, and you swear, you’ve never seen him more at home. “Always, when I’m with you.”
The movie is predictably good and predictably sexist, but your favorite part by far is when Jungkook reaches around on the coffee table in front of you for his camera, holding it up to his eye and snatching a picture of the television, the film grainy like an old polaroid, faded like an antique photograph. He clicks away at the scene in front of him before turning on you, the lens so close to your face you’re almost certain all he’ll manage to capture is your nose. You laugh, pushing yourself away from him as he snaps, and snaps, and snaps, image after image after image, until his camera battery has died and there’s no more room left on his card. 
“Guess I’ll have to charge this thing, then,” Jungkook sighs as he declares his camera dead, screen black. 
“You aren’t going to include any of those, are you?” You ask, an eyebrow raised. 
Jungkook shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Don’t you have enough?” You deadpan, thinking back to the hundreds of photos Jungkook must have taken of you over the past week, and even more that you don’t know about. There’s certainly no shortage of them in his current camera inventory. That’s for sure. 
“Never,” Jungkook says wickedly. He stretches out an open arm, and you don’t have to think twice about falling into it, letting him wrap you up in his hold, curling into his body. 
The black television screen crackles before you, DVD player waiting for Jungkook to turn it off. There’s no need for either of you to look up at each other. Not when you’re strung together like this. Not when you already know exactly where he is. 
“It’s due on Monday, right?” You inquire softly, fatigue slowly overtaking you. 
“Yeah. I’m almost finished, just have to do some curating and editing.”
“I want to see it.”
“What? My project?”
“What else?”
“It’s just a project, it’s not that exciting.”
You pull away from him at that, looking up at him with furrowed brows and scrunched-up nose. “What do you mean ‘it’s not that exciting’? It’s your photography project. You’ve spent a whole week working on it.”
“Yeah, but it’s just you, you know?” Jungkook objects. “Like, you know what you look like. It’s just going to be a bunch of photos of you, like I said it’d be.”
“That’s exactly why I want to see it,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You took pictures of me for a whole week. Don’t you want to share them with me?”
“If you really want some of the photos, I’ll send you some, but you don’t need to see the whole portfolio, you know? It’s just for my professor,” Jungkook says stiffly, surprisingly resistant. What’s the big deal? It’s not like there will suddenly be new information about you that you didn’t know before. You want to see what Jungkook has been working tirelessly on this entire week. Where’s the harm in that?
“Why are you getting so hung up on this? It’s just photos,” you say with a frown. 
“Why are you getting so hung up on this?” Jungkook challenges back. 
You sigh, sinking back into him, defeated. Even a little disagreement like that is enough to knock the wind out of the both of you, so you decide not to push it much further. 
“Do you promise to show me eventually?” You ask, hopeful.
Jungkook pauses for a moment, and you almost expect him to say no, considering how protective of his work he’s being. “One day,” he declares. “One day, I will.”
And that’s good enough for you. 
You lose track of how much time passes after that, feeling your eyelids getting heavy as the warmth of his body envelopes you, drowsiness settling in. There’s just something about this moment, right here, right now, that makes you want to fall asleep.
You’re on the verge of slumber when Jungkook’s voice breaks through.
“Why didn’t you think your date would work out?”
“I don’t know,” you respond sleepily, barely even opening your eyes. “It just felt wrong.”
“How do you know what feels right?”
Good question. Perhaps if you had the energy, you’d answer it. But right now, all you can think about is how cozy you feel in Jungkook’s hoodie and sweatpants, how the scent of him surrounds you, that indescribable, boyish aroma that can’t be replicated. Right now, all you can think about is how easily your body molds into his, like two pieces of a puzzle meant to fit together. Right now, all you can think about is him. 
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The worst part about each and every week is when it ends. Because the end of one week signifies the beginning of the next, and when you’re in university, the beginning of the next week means a whole new batch of assignments that you have to complete and a whole new batch of due dates to meet. 
So, yeah. The weeks have been blurring together for you lately. But what else could you expect?
Sunday evening, as per usual, finds you right back where you always are: Jungkook’s apartment. 
The two of you have been regularly getting together on Sundays to study, ever since you both realized you work significantly harder when motivated by the other, determined to finish all of your work on time so you can spend the rest of the night fooling around by mixing Monster with as many unhealthy drinks that you can possibly think of. And it’s been working out well for the both of you so far. Jungkook powers through his coding assignments and you whiz through your readings, intent on keeping up to date with your tasks so they don’t all come crashing down on you at the end of the semester. 
Studying with Jungkook has always been easy, largely due to the fact that it’s the one allotted time during your friendship where the both of you deem it best to not speak to each other for the sake of your work. The moment one of you opens your mouth it’s over, so you sit on opposite ends of the room and pretend that the other person isn’t even there. 
Jungkook told you earlier today that he had already finished his photography portfolio, so there would unfortunately be no sneaky glances over his shoulder to see if you can catch a glimpse of one of the pictures. Which is fine by you, you’re just a little embarrassed that Jungkook had told you this outright. Not that you were planning to do exactly that, but you were planning to do exactly that. 
Part of you. more than anything, wants to know why Jungkook won’t just show you himself. Why he’s being so secretive, so protective of his photography project when you both know already exactly what’s in it. For God’s sake, he just spent the entire week taking photos of you non-stop. It’s like not as if any part of this is a mystery to either of you. What more could he have done?
Whatever. You aren’t going to force it if he doesn’t want you to. You suppose that maybe one day, far into the future, he’ll finally decide that the time is right. 
“I’m so fucking tired,” Jungkook declares lifelessly as he gets up from where he’s sitting on your bed, dead inside. “I need a break.”
“Are you going to the kitchen? Can you make me some tea, please?” You ask him, looking up from the laptop on your desk. 
Jungkook nods wordlessly before disappearing out of the room. 
You and Jungkook’s best study practice to maximize productivity is the taking of each other’s cell phones so that the other cannot be tempted to look at it. It’s worked plenty of times before and will probably work plenty of times again, because as they say, out of sight, out of mind. 
Unfortunately, it’s hard to pretend that your phone is out of sight when it’s been buzzing on your bedside table for the past five minutes, and your fingers have been itching to get over there and answer your damn notifications. So, while Jungkook is out of the room, you decide to cheat a little by dashing over there just to see what the heck is going on in the rest of the world. 
As it turns out, nothing much. Just Maisie texting you as she binges yet another television show, giving spoiler-free updates anytime anything remotely dramatic happens. You have a couple of new emails as well. 
The thing that actually catches your attention the most, is Jungkook’s laptop screen. 
There’s just a Word document open on it, but a Word document is a far cry from his usual coding program or Photoshop. Because you can’t help yourself, you peer over to see what he’s written. 
What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?
Hard to say that I have. I don’t think I learned something about myself so much as I confirmed what I already knew, cementing it as a real thought in my brain, rather than just a daydream. Nothing changed in the way that my best friend and I interacted, and I can almost confirm that nothing changed in the way that she feels about me, just as nothing changed in the way I feel about her. I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her. 
Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?
Yes. Not as a reference but to remind myself of this very moment in my life—a single week over the course of my life that I felt was worth saving. I imagine that there will come a time, far in the future, where my best friend and I have separated a little bit, found our own lives and created our own families with our own people. And when that happens, I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now. 
This feels personal. Maybe you should stop reading. But there’s just one more question left on the page… 
This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?
Yes. If it meant getting to spend more time with her, take more photos of her, see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over. 
You hadn’t even heard the kettle whistling. 
“Jungkook,” you say, breathless, caught red-handed. 
“What are you doing?” He asks, placing your steaming cup of tea down on the desk as he stares back at you in horror, in surprise, in worry, in something. Something that gives you this imminent sense of impending doom. 
“Were you reading my computer screen?”
It’s not like you could say you were doing anything else. 
“I couldn’t help myself, I came over here to check my phone since it’s been buzzing like crazy and your computer was right there and I just…” you sputter out, thoughts swirling inside your head. 
(I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now. 
If it meant getting to see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over. 
I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.)
“What do you mean, how you feel about me?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. Because the sound of his voices echoes in your head like the beat of a drum, over and over and over. Because you’re staring back at him and even if he just caught you snooping through his computer you can never be worried when it comes to him. Because everything he has ever done puts you at ease. 
“Y/N, that is private, why would you read something like that?” He asks, each word a sucker punch into your heart. 
“Because I just had to know, okay?” You shout back. “I had to know what you were hiding from me.”
“So you decided to snoop through my computer to see if you could figure it out yourself?” He demands, storming over to you. 
“So you are hiding something?”
“That’s not the point, the point is that—”
“What are you not telling me, Jungkook?” You cry out, watching as he approaches you, dark eyes piercing your gaze. “Why won’t you show me your goddamn portfolio? If there’s really nothing to be afraid of, why are you keeping it from me? I’m your best friend, I’m the fucking subject of your project? Don’t I deserve to see it? Why won’t you show me?”
“Because then you’d know!” Jungkook shouts back, leaving deafening silence in his wake. You look up at him, blinking. In front of you, Jungkook is out of breath, chest heaving. 
He looks so strained. So tired. Like he’s been carrying around this secret for months now, maybe even years, and this is the final straw. This is what has sent the both of you crashing down upon each other. This stupid fucking project. You’ve known Jungkook ever since the beginning of your freshman year, and never before have you seen him so hopeless. 
“You’d know, goddamnit,” Jungkook says, hand coming up to rub at his forehead, dragging down his cheek. “And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.”
“Know what? What would I know?” 
Jungkook closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Opens them again. “That I’m in love with you.”
The words drift in between the two of you, hovering in the air like feathers. You see them, clear as day, in front of you, hear them echoing in your head, over and over and over again. Feel the way your blood is pumping, the way your heart is beating. 
“You’re in love with me?” You ask him. 
“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Jungkook admits. “Or at all, really. But I have been, for a while now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid that I’d lose you.”
You chuckle, a small, little thing from the back of your throat. “You must have known I’d never let that happen, hmm?”
Jungkook smiles softly. “I was scared. Can you blame me? You’re my best friend.”
“And you are mine,” you remind him. 
“It’s just—” Jungkook begins, like the gates of a dam are opening up. “We’d known each other for so long, and we have such a good thing going as is, always texting and calling and hanging out together, studying together on Sunday nights and seeing each other during the week, and I didn’t want to ruin anything. And then my professor assigned this project, and the only person I could think of to take photos was you, but I didn’t want to ask that of you in case you thought it was weird, but you suggested it anyway so I said yes, but I knew. I knew then that the moment I took one goddamn photo of you it would be obvious, and that if you ever saw you would just know. Stuff like that is easy to pick up in pictures, because a camera is like, tunnel vision for whatever it is you want to focus on most, and that’s you, that’s always been you, so I—”
“Jungkook,” you interrupt, reaching out to him, pressing a soft hand to his cheek. “Just, shut up, okay?”
And then you cup his head in both of your hands, and press a kiss to his lips. A small one, if nothing else, but a kiss nonetheless. You press your lips against his own and immediately you feel the sparks rush through you, this flash of heat that settles into something softer, something sweeter. It ignites and soothes you all at once, like a stray lightning bolt out on the open ocean. Like a single clap of thunder and the pitter patter of rain. 
You press a kiss to his lips and when you pull away, Jungkook’s eyes are closed, lips parted ever so slightly. And for a moment there, you almost think you did the wrong thing. 
But barely a second more passes before he’s scooping you up in his arms and pulling you in close to him, his lips finding yours like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He holds you tight, hands pressed against the small of your back as he kisses you, warm and fiery and full, as if he can’t get enough, as if this is his only chance. You gasp into it before relaxing in his hold, cold hands on his warm cheeks, body melting at the feeling of him, of him all over you, of his hands and his mouth and his chest, this perfect, solid figure. 
He kisses you and it sends heat shooting through your body, filling you up from the inside out, like your heart has burst and filled your bloodstream with fire, with sparks of warmth that tingle all over. He kisses you, and everywhere his hands press is another sizzle to your skin, an electric shock that makes you giggle into his mouth. 
He kisses you and it feels like a storm has settled, feels like gentle rain after a hurricane, feels like waves crashing against the shore. He kisses you and it is the only thing you can think about. 
By the time you part once more, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungkook so blissed out. 
“See?” You point out softly. “Nothing to be afraid of.”
Jungkook looks positively dazed. “I think I need to lie down.”
“Ooh, was I that good?” You tease.
“I’m dreaming.” He shakes his head. “I’m definitely fucking dreaming.”
Jungkook sinks onto your bed, hitting the mattress with a thud. He stares mindlessly in front of him, like his brain needs time to process. 
You smile to yourself. He can have all the time in the world. 
“Is this real?” He mumbles when you sit down next to him, press another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you real?”
“Just like you,” you promise him. “I didn’t know this is what we had been missing, all this time.”
“It wasn’t missing,” Jungkook assures you. “It was just hidden.”
“I love you,” you whisper, watching him swallow the words like a glass of wine. “I think I always have. You just needed to say it first.”
“Oblivious as always.” Jungkook grins, smiling against your lips. “But I’m glad. If this is what it would take, then I’m glad.”
“You wouldn’t change anything?” You ask him, eyes wide and curious. 
It’s hard to know how long you and Jungkook have been secretly pining over each other. Hard to know how long Jungkook has known that he’s loved you, how long it’s been since you started to feel the same, even if subconsciously. It’s hard to know how long you would have kept going if not for this project. It might have been months. Years. Years that Jungkook was willing to spend holding back, if only it meant keeping you by his side. 
“No,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “I have you now. Why would I?”
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What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?
Previously, I had responded to this question by saying that I hadn’t learned anything, and felt that nothing changed in my life. Then, some things happened. And after those things, I learned that I am the luckiest man alive. To know my best friend is one thing. To love her is a privilege. To have her love me back is nothing less than a miracle.
Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?
Yes. Every day for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been as thankful to receive a homework assignment as I am, right now. I owe everything to this project. It is the reason I have her. 
This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?
Yes. I want to take photos of her for the rest of my life. I want to save every memory we ever share together. So that far into the future, we can look back on them together and say, “Remember that?”
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↳ links are broken, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback!
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saetyrn9 · 10 months ago
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Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x F!Reader
A/N: I’m very excited to get this out finally! Thank you so much to everyone who has waited and been so excited and who loved Siren. I think the reception Siren got really encouraged me a lot to write this companion piece. Another big thank you to Shay/@bobawithpomegranate​ for commissioning this piece as well! Your trust in me to deliver is wonderful and and very appreciated, and I feel like this fic specifically let us get to know each other better, and you’re so sweet and wonderful and I love talking to you hhhhh Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this fic and that it holds up as a companion piece!
Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI, Reader POV, Drinking, Flirting, Mildly Possessive Sex, Breast Worship, Nipple Play, Oral (reader receiving), Top!Kiyoomi uwu, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, Begging, Kiyoomi Being Gorgeous, Soft Romance uwu, Aftercare, no beta we die like men
WC: ~12k
tip jar | commission info
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You give a polite smile to Meian as he talks about the travel plans being implemented for MSBY’s first series of away games coming up. You listen politely, not really absorbing the information. It’s kind of hard with how good he looks in his suit, but then again everyone in the event hall looks good. Dressed up well for the new volleyball season celebration. There’s a number of people in attendance who aren’t just related in some way to MSBY, as it's organized by the Japanese Volleyball Association.
It’s your first time attending, and you’re here as Sakusa Kiyoomi’s date.
Your eyes wander the room as the Captain speaks. You feel a little out of place among all the tall, incredibly in shape and beautiful people here. Of course you dressed up to match Kiyoomi’s sleek all black ensemble, but you can’t help being self conscious of the clinging fabric and the low cut of your dress, the thin straps on your shoulders leaving little to cover your shoulders and arms, the short length riding high on your thighs.
You find your partner on the other side of the room. He’s leaning against the bar with a glass of whiskey, looking as bored as you feel with his old high school and current teammates who have made it pro. Komori seems to be chattering quickly with Bokuto, both on either side of the tall spiker and his equally quiet high school captain--Iizuna Tsukasa, you think--and you want to laugh a little when he rolls his eyes, the exasperation gone unnoticed by the chattier group.
But the irritated eye movement brings his gaze to you. It feels like an electric zap straight through the stomach when his drowsy glance finds yours. His brows arch ever so slightly, his fingers tapping along the crystal in his hands, and his head tilts, bringing an elegant black curl across his forehead.
He’s clearly checking you out--blatantly, openly, though the look again goes unnoticed by the players he stands with. Like he hadn’t watched you get ready alongside with him, his hands wandering your sides and shoulders in between buttoning up his black shirt and straightening out the lapels of his jacket, gold watch and cuff links glinting and cool against your skin while he admired you, blessing your neck with one, two, open mouthed kisses before helping you into your own coat by the door.
You can’t help tightening your crossed arms as your body reacts to the memory of the heat in his eyes in the mirror as he’d kissed you, the way his hands had stroked softly at your arms until you were shivering.
You take a sip of your champagne and try not to drown in obsidian pools of desire from across the room.
“You’ve been really good for him.”
You almost choke on your sip, feeling hot under your dress for getting caught staring back at Kiyoomi. You glance up at the tall MSBY captain, whose grinning good-naturedly down at you.
You smile. “He’s a good man. Very thoughtful. I can only hope I’ve treated him the same.”
Meian hums, leaning against one of the tables behind him, where you and a number of the other MSBY players and their dates had been sitting together. Meian had been on your other side, which is how you got roped into conversation with him in the first place once all the announcements and the dinner had concluded.
“I think you have. He’s been on the team for a few years, and since dating you I think he’s relaxed a lot.”
That warms your heart. Sakusa Kiyoomi is still an awkward man, still moves through life with anxiety sitting on his shoulders. When you met him, his only outlet had really been his family, volleyball, and the friends he had in those small circles, and he’d seemed content with it.
You would have believed him, too, if he wasn’t so restless. He clearly wanted to pursue you, and you didn’t mind such a handsome man giving you attention, but he didn’t seem to know how except that he wanted to. He’s rough around the edges--still is sometimes, if you’re honest, but who isn’t occasionally? But he was earnest and nervous and you were starstruck by someone as gorgeous as him taking a risk just for you, though you wouldn't know the weight of his actions until later into your relationship.
To you, dating had only been a relatively casual affair. To Kiyoomi, dating was anything but.
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The more you think about it, the more you feel like you have to agree with Meian. Sakusa has found joy in things that you enjoy, things that he wouldn’t have normally sought to do on his own. Similarly, you’ve found yourself adopting habits and interests of his that are, arguably, improvements from where you had been before. And they’re habits and interests that he appreciates deeply from you, because he’s told you as much. It used to be like pulling teeth with him to admit vulnerability, but at some point in your growing relationship there was a mysterious switch that seemed to flip for him, a realization that he liked being vulnerable with you.
He still gets stuck on his words and feelings sometimes, but the fact that he trusts you enough to say them at all means the world to you, even if it takes him some time to figure out how to say them.
You’re more than happy to be patient with him, because he’s willing to work with you to make your relationship work. You met Sakusa Kiyoomi at a time of great success in his life, and yet he was still lonely and wanting, realizing that maybe there was more to life than just success in volleyball, and he was eager to find out just what more meant with you.
The thought makes you laugh softly, finishing off your glass of champagne with a backward tilt of your head.
Glancing at the empty glass, you give Meian a smile. "Thank you. I appreciate that."
He gives you a humored grin, glancing over your shoulder. “Of course. You look like you need another drink. Your man will probably get it for you.” You scoff in bashful amusement, and Meian’s loud laugh almost echoes over the din of various conversations around you.
He turns to give playful grief to the nearby captain of the Schweiden Adlers, and you take that as your que to slowly turn on your reasonable heels that are starting to make your feet ache, once again meeting the shameless gaze of your partner that’s been burning a pleasant hole in your back for a few minutes now.
Kiyoomi is still watching you. Your skin prickles with the obvious desire in his sleepy gaze despite the passive expression on his face. He’s still leaning against the bar amongst his friends, who are all leaning over to inspect something on Atsumu’s phone, Kiyoomi not at all invested in whatever it might be. You can’t help the way you laugh a little.
You don’t know why you’re struck with anticipation and nerves as you begin to stroll around the table. You fiddle with your empty champagne flute just to have something to do as you cross the expanse of the floor, strappy heels pushing your hips to sway, the cool air in the room rolling over your shoulders. You pass between towering volleyball players and their partners and their managers and sponsors, but never have to take your eyes off of Kiyoomi’s dark stare. And he lets his eyes wander up and down your figure as you grow closer, his shoulders rolling back where he sits half-perched on a barstool, the rotating chair swaying slowly in your direction.
Beside him, Komori is suddenly pushed up from his hunched position towards Atsumu’s phone. He glances down at his cousin’s hand, the back of it pressed into his chest, up towards Kiyoomi, and then follows his gaze to you. The brunette’s confused eyes warm, and he grins, stepping back with Kiyoomi’s gesture.
“Hey!” He greets happily, shuffling as you slip through to get closer to your boyfriend, the brunette making space for you.
“Hi ‘Mori,” you breathe, sounding a little more whispery and dreamy than you mean to as Kiyoomi’s hand slides across your back, hooking with your waist to pull your body against his front. It’s a strong pull, though not disorienting. Your skin feels hot under your dress where his long fingers press through the thin, clinging fabric, the satin slipping under his touch as it molds even closer to the shape of your hip and waist. It’s almost like there’s nothing between his hand and your body with the slip-like dress you chose to wear tonight.
“You look great tonight!” He tells you cheerily, eyes sweeping over you briefly. You do the same to him, taking in the flowery button up shirt tucked into a solid colored, well-fitted slacks and leather shoes.
“You do, too!” You tell him, leaning back against Kiyoomi’s chest.
Atsumu’s loud call of your name interrupts whatever the sweet brunette was going to say next, and you glance towards the cluster of volleyball players. “Tell me you don’t think this is wild!”
He shoves his phone in your face, but before you can get a good look at whatever twitter thread is in front of your nose, Kiyoomi is pushing his hand down with a scowl.
“She doesn’t care about your dating drama, Atsumu,” he grunts. On his other side, Iizuna laughs at the pouting setter.
Atsumu turns those chocolate eyes on you again, and you can’t help laughing at his over the top pout. “You’d care if my heart was broken wouldn’t you?” He asks pleadingly. “You’re not as mean as Omi!”
“Of course,” you reply, a mocking amount of sympathy in your voice that gets a few guffaws from the men and their dates around you. “I’m sure whatever it is she was saying has just been so tear-jerking with how much you’ve been laughing about it over here.”
Atsumu scoffs, but his lips are pulling into a grin, his own amusement shining through. “Yeah, real gut-busting.”
You start laughing yourself, leaning back against Kiyoomi and finally accepting the phone the blonde keeps waving in your face. Behind you, Kiyoomi sighs, and you can feel him peering over your shoulder as you scroll through the thread.
Kiyoomi snorts softly in your ear. “We would never be this garish.”
Your lips pull into a big grin, your brows arching at the rather explicit complaints Atsumu’s ex had about him. “What? If we broke up?”
His hand squeezes tightly to your waist, arm curled so close around your that his palm is inching closer to your stomach. “No. Because we wouldn’t break up.”
You stop reading whatever wild story the girl on twitter is telling about Atsumu’s sexual habits and almost shove the blonde his phone back. He fumbles with it, brows raised, but doesn’t interrupt when you spin around to look up at your boyfriend.
With one look at you, Kiyoomi deposits his near-empty whiskey glass on the bar behind Iizuna. Both his hands fall to your waist, peering down his nose at you. His brow rises, and to the untrained eye, he would almost look condescending. But you see the faint blush on his cheeks, and you see the little upwards curl at the corner of his mouth and the crinkle in his eyes.
“Oh we wouldn’t?” Your voice is breathless, but you don’t care if Komori or Iizuna or anyone else hears it this time.
His throat bobs in a swallow. “No.” He sounds so sure, and it makes your heart flutter and your stomach flip. His big hands weave together at the curve of your spine, resting there to pull you in closer against him. He doesn’t bend down to kiss you or hug you tighter, but you feel as if he’s staking a claim on you for some reason, and you’re half wondering if it’s because he’s been drinking or if it’s something else tonight that’s happened. “We won’t.”
Your hand flutters around on his chest--fiddling with the lapels of his jacket, adjusting his open shirt collar, stroking across the hollow of his throat and the beginnings of his prominent collar bone just peeking out beneath the black fabric. He watches you all the while, breathing deeply at your touch.
You glance back up towards him, leaning your front against him. With everything done and only schmoozing left between the guests, you ask, “Do you want to go home?”
“Yes.” He answers immediately, making you laugh quietly. He pushes off the little stool, one hand staying glued to your waist, and turns his eyes to the men and other dates around him. “I’ll see you at practice.”
“Leaving already?” Bokuto whines good-naturedly. You can see the slight smirk on Atsumu and decidedly ignore it.
“Be safe on your way home!” Komori tells you happily. You give out hugs, though Kiyoomi’s hand stays tight in yours, and you’re laughing as he starts to impatiently pull on your arm, until you’re both traipsing out of the event hall, giving nods or waves in lieu of stopping to give goodbyes.
Kiyoomi is casting you fond glances that you can’t help smiling quietly, eagerly at. His lips curl as he collects your coats, knuckles dragging up your arms when he helps you into yours. When you turn towards him, he moves to help you close yours, but you gently stop him.
“I’m a little warm,” you sigh out, tilting your head back, looking over his pretty face. Kiyoomi hums, giving you the same attention as he pulls his own coat over his suit.
“Are you?” He asks softly. Something about his tone has you biting your lip, has you swallowing thick. You nod, almost timidly, getting a little lost in his gaze.
From the inside coat pocket, he pulls out a black mask, hooking it over his ears, pulling it across his pretty face. He pauses when you catch his elbow, eyes crinkling when you tug. He’s smiling when he leans down, mask caught on his fingers, to give you a soft peck here in the darkened hallway between the hall and the entryway of the building.
You pull away with a pleased grin, and he covers his own smirk with his mask, taking your hand once more.
The cool autumn air feels good on your overly warm neck and face. You once again feel as if you don’t need your coat with Kiyoomi so close to you, but you know he wouldn’t approve of you taking it off. So instead your arms stretch between you, held aloft by your entwined hands, and take in as much of the breeze as you can. Your coat flutters happily and you sigh and cast Kiyoomi a smile, who's watching you all the while.
“Should we find a cab or take the train??” You ask, feeling a weariness settle into your bones after a long evening dressed up and socializing. You’re sure Kiyoomi must be feeling the same.
“Cab.” He answers.
You’re about to pull Kiyoomi down the steps from the glass doors when he suddenly slips his hand from yours and says, "Wait."
You teeter at the top of the steps, watching Kiyoomi's tall form quickly descend the steps ahead of you.
At the bottom he turns, curling hair fluttering in the wind, the dark night air warm on your skin.
He gestures. "Okay. Come here."
With a raised eyebrow, you follow after him, though slower. Your heels click loud on the marble steps, and about halfway down, you realize Kiyoomi is staring at the bounce of your chest, the sway of your hips.
You scoff his name, laughing and quickly meeting him at the bottom, cognizant of the way speeding up makes the rest of you bounce. Kiyoomi grins--you can see the way his cheeks plump up at the top of his mask, the crinkle of his eyes--wrapping his arm around you and pulling you towards the many cabs lined up along the street.
“Did you enjoy that, perv?” You joke, leaning into his side.
He hums. “Very.” You scoff but feel a coiling pleasure that’s been building all night between you tighten delightfully, his hand squeezing on your waist only making it burn brighter.
You give him a fond glance. “You had a good night.” You state as he guides you towards one of the many parked cars waiting outside the fancy convention center.
His hand squeezes your waist again, opening the back door for you and helping you slide in. He follows after, his knees bending up into the smaller space, pulling the door shut after himself. He looks to you in the darkness of the backseat, pulling you back into his side.
“I did,” he murmurs. He pauses to stare for a moment before he pulls his mask down with a single finger, pressing a chaste kiss to your mouth before readjusting it over the bridge of his nose. You feel a warmth unfurl in you, his arm still wrapped around you while he leans forward to give the driver your address. As the cab pulls away from the curb, you let yourself sink against his shoulder, tilting your head up to gaze at his pretty face.
He sighs, tilting his head down to brush his forehead against yours. He looks sleepy, and he probably is exhausted after a night of schmoozing and wearing stuffy clothing, but his hand hasn’t stopped its slow massage of you hips, plucking teasingly at the side of your dress, tracing the faint texture of your thong where it sits high over your hip.
“Did you?” He asks, thumb digging pleasantly into your waist. “Have a good time?”
You nod, smiling. “It was fun. Everyone looked great.” You pet your hand down the black silky fabric on his broad chest. “You look great.”
It’s become very easy to read him behind the mask. You can see the way his eyes narrow, how one of his brows arches almost playfully, pleased with your compliment, once again looking you over with great appreciation. You have no doubt he can see down the front of your dress from his angle, not that he hasn’t seen it before, and yet it still makes you preen, still has your head falling back further so he can see even more, even though your dress leaves little to the imagination already.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers with an earnestness that makes you squirm, his hand stroking warm and tender over your bare throat to cup the back of your neck. You grip at the lapel of his suit jacket, the weave sturdy under your fingers, and he leans down at your insistence, squeezing his big hand to the bend of your waist to let you pull his mask down for another kiss. It’s longer this time, but not nearly as deep, and he hears the breathy, whispery, pouty sound, and he gives you another grin before it’s hidden once more from you. Beneath your hand, you can feel the race of his heart.
“You think so?” You ask playfully, shifting closer. You’re practically pinning him to the back corner of the car, against the door, but he doesn’t seem to mind a bit. His other hand slides down your thigh when you hook your knees over his, the hand on your waist ever present and sturdy.
He hums, low and lulling, your eyes drooping and your head falling back so you can look up at him. Dark eyes look you over from breast to lips and back to your eyes, and you can only gulp at the hunger you see reflected back at you. “I do. I always do.”
It’s times like tonight that you can’t help appreciating how to the point he is. You can understand where some might find it off-putting or inconsiderate, but you know you’ll never be lied to. Know he would never hide his feelings. It’s too hard for him, and he doesn’t want to be misleading or hide behind lies. Perhaps it was a little hard in the beginning, but once you got over his frankness with his words, grew comfortable in his honesty and to expect it at both the best and worst times, you’ve come to see it for what it is; a raw appraisal of Kiyoomi and all he has to give. There are no games, there are no suspicions. He gives all that he is to everyone, even if they don’t see it at first.
And he gives more to you. Has given so much more of himself to you than he has to anyone else, and you bask in it and give back all that you can.
The air feels thick in the tiny backseat of the cab, only made tinier by the fact you can’t peel yourself away from Kiyoomi. Not that he’s helping, with the way his strong grip keeps you in your place. You let yourself pet over his chest and under the lapels of his suit, and he does nothing to stop you, his thumb pressing back and forth into the give of your thigh, hand slinking higher and higher as the drive goes on.
Kiyoomi already has the money out to pay before the cab has even pulled up to your building, popping the door open and helping you out. His hand remains on your hip on the walk up to your apartment, until he’s shedding his mask and coat and taking yours to put away, kicking out of his shoes while you pluck at the straps of your heels.
You watch him wash his hands and dry them, pulling out two glasses to fill with water while you wash your own.
“Drink,” he tells you, glass clinking against the tiles of your kitchen counter. You do as you’re told, under his approving eye as he finishes his own cup, setting his in the sink, taking yours when you’re done.
This song and dance between you isn’t so odd or strange. You feel like you’ve done it so many times after coming home from dates or hanging out with friends in the past few weeks. A shift in energy disguised as routine and domesticity, where Kiyoomi can feel as if he’s done the bare minimum to ensure that you’re both prepared and ready for what comes ahead, whether it’s rigorous or languid. You don’t care either way about it, beyond the affection you feel for the fact he wants to take care of you in any way he can to ensure your comfort. And there’s nothing wrong with drinking a little more water, too.
You lick your lips and blink up at him, failing to suppress a little smirk. Kiyoomi takes a deep breath in the quiet dark of your kitchen before taking a careful step into your space. You’re immediately overwhelmed by how good he smells, his body heat, his stature. You almost sway where you stand to look up at him, if not for his palms discovering the topography of your hips, over your waist, inching forward again until you have to crane your head back, gripping his suit jacket, feeling as if you might fall backwards without his support.
He’s gorgeous, curls mussed through the night from his hands gliding through his hair, falling forward around his face from being swept back. He steps forward again, and you’re forced to shuffle backwards, squeaking softly with a little laugh at his eagerness. It fills and swells within you in turn, til your lungs are tight, as if you can’t quite get enough air with each breath.
“I want you,” he whispers, holding your waist and walking you backwards towards your bedroom. You cling to him, your shorter legs shuffling along at his languid, long stroll. You make a weak sound, tugging him down for a kiss. He pauses to lean down and do so, standing in the middle of your apartment to dip his tongue between your lips and taste you. His hands explore further south, over the swell of your hips, over the soft curve of your ass, slipping easily over the silk that does little to hide the familiar terrain he finds.
The kiss breaks wet, and as he stands, you’re hoisted up with strong fingers wrapped beneath your thighs. You jump eagerly, fingers tangling in his curls to continue kissing him. The hem of your dress slinks up with his wrists, long digits squeezing at the fat and muscle he reveals.
“I want you, too,” you plead against his mouth, breathing heavy with him and wrapping your limbs all around him. It doesn’t feel like enough. As good as he looks in his suit, you want it off, want to feel his skin on yours, let him feel you to his heart’s desire. “All night, Kiyo--”
You gasp when you’re suddenly dropped, a rush of adrenaline and cool air. You bounce heavy on the mattress, limbs splayed to steady yourself after you bounce. Kiyoomi towers over you, pulling at his jacket until it’s discarded without a second thought, ripping at the buttons of his expensive silk shirt until the black fabric hangs half open over his shoulders.
He follows after you on his hands and knees, hands thorough and stroking up your thighs, pushing the skirt of your dress up until your legs can spread around him. With ease, he picks you up again, your limbs wrapping around him for a deep, long kiss. It’s messy but terribly satisfying, and you giggle when he drops forward again, further of the bed, pressing you down into the pillows and just barely catching himself before he knocks his head with yours.
You reach for him, ready to strip him more, to feel his skin on yours, his curls between your fingers. You gasp when you only get to stroke down the soft skin of his chest, your wrists snagged and pushed up by your head, Kiyoomi’s strength easily outmatching you to pin you down.
Your throat clicks with a gulp, whining and wiggling beneath his weight, giving him wide, needy eyes. “K-Kiyoomi, what--”
His nose traces your cheek, nudges yours, silky soft parted lips brushing across yours, teeth nipping at your bottom lip before you can even try and deepen it. “Keep your hands here.” He pushes them further up, til they’re shoved under the pillow your head rests upon. You blink up at him, aroused and confused and frustrated by his order. His thin brows arch back, eyes sparking with something like amusement, something like excitement. “Understand?”
You whine. “Kiyo, I-I just--”
You can feel his heart thudding against your chest, where it presses to your breasts, when he leans in to brush his nose against yours, shaky breath rolling across your lips. “Behave.”
Your eyes widen, staring up into his. There’s a silence in the room that almost consumes you in a fiery, lustful spark. Kiyoomi looks you over, face carefully blank, but he can’t hide the reactions of his body. His sweating palms, his racing heart, the throb of his cock through his expensive slacks against your thigh.
It’s not as if you don’t realize you’ve taken the lead for a lot of your growing sexual relationship, nor have you noticed just how eager he is to take control and take charge, either. And so even when he gives you a chance to decline his order, knowing full well he would back off if you said you were uncomfortable, you stay silent. You’re anything but--or at least, not the kind of uncomfortable that calls for stopping. If anything, it’s the kind of uncomfortable that begs him to continue, that pleas for more, for carnal release.
You ease back against the pillows, and Kiyoomi rewards you with kisses that press you into them. For a long moment, that’s all you do, is kiss and stroke your legs over his thighs and hips, squeeze around his middle to feel him roll his cock forward into you. His hands weave with yours, pressing them in place as he dips his tongue between your lips and tastes you
When he finally pulls away, you’re hazy and pliant, whimpering softly with the wet disconnect of his lips from yours. He casts you a heavy, expectant glance from under long lashes, kissing your cheek. You obediently keep your hands buried under the pillows as he trails kisses down your neck, watching with bated breath as Kiyoomi kisses along the exposed skin of your collarbones and chest, tracing the low neckline of your dress. You gulp, only able to see the unruly but charming fall of his curling hair over his forehead, the kiss of his long lashes against his flushed cheeks, the catch of his soft lips on your skin. You arch with warm need beneath his weight, but don't move much.
His hands climb the seams at the side of your body, trace towards the thin straps struggling to cling to your shoulders. You shiver as he slowly drags down the front of your dress, those skimpy straps sagging down your biceps. Kiyoomi sucks away from your skin to watch as he delicately tucks the top of your dress down under your tits, breathing heavy and eager at the sight of them. You desperately fist the pillow under your head, sighing big to arch your back and push them up towards him.
You can’t help feeling flattered by just how entranced Kiyoomi seems with your body. You know you're the first person he’s ever touched like this, ever experienced such pleasures with, but his awe of you burns you, makes you ache unlike anything you’ve ever experienced yourself with anyone else, until you feel like the only thing that could soothe you is him and his attention.
Kiyoomi’s thumbs stroke back and forth along your collar bones, blown out dark eyes meeting yours from under messy, curly bangs. “Can I touch you?” As if he hasn’t already, but you know what he means. He wants to grope you, fondle you, feel your body in every way he can.
“Please?” Your whispery voice cracks with need, and Kiyoomi only seems to blush more, gnawing on his bottom lips as his big hands trace down over the skin he’s already explored but no less enraptured by, it seems.
His palms cup your tits from the outside, his hands big enough that his thumbs catch all the way beneath them. He curls his fingers around your flesh and squeezes, soft and experimental. He watches the way your tits move, how they perk up towards him with his manipulation, and tentatively he swipes his thumbs back and forth over the firmed, pointed flesh of your nipples.
You moan, digging your head back into the pillows. His gentle touch is as teasing as it is deliberate, though perhaps not for the reasons you initially think. He probably doesn’t quite realize just how torturous it is to have him drag the pads of his thumbs back and forth, thoroughly pressing and flicking over your nipples. It only takes a few passes to make them feel raw. His fingers squeeze and grip at where your breasts sit on your chest, feeling their give and weight, seemingly very satisfied with the way his fingers sink into your softer flesh.
He suddenly pinches both, and pulls. Kiyoomi glances up at you, your eyes meeting despite how you want to shy away. Your legs almost kick out at the wonderful sting, both of pleasure and from the shock at the audacity of your inexperienced lover to tug brazenly at your tits like this, until they draw tight and it hurts and they pinch free.
A ragged sound leaves you, your elbows coming up towards your face, squeezing the pillow around your head until your nipples are released abruptly, your back giving out from the arch you’d raised into. “Kiyo…” You already sound debauched, thrusting as best as you can against the weight of his stomach between your thighs, firm clit coming so close to rubbing against the strong plane you know is still hiding behind his rumpled black dress shirt. “I--More? I need--”
Kiyoomi groans, leaning down to messily drag his tongue around your hard nipple. “Oh, fuck,” you gasp, mouth falling open at the sudden stimulation.
He leaves careful kisses across your pebbled skin, lapping and slurping and dragging his teeth across your breast. He turns his head to give the other just as much attention, warm fingers digging into aching flesh to massage and pinch at you slowly.
He engulfs one of your breasts as much as his mouth can take, until it almost feels like too much for you. Your shoulders hunch forward with the intensity despite the fact he’s suckling languidly and dragging his tongue in slow, agonizing, mindless patterns over your aching nipples, the only way you can react with him pinning you down as he is. Your legs do kick out and scrunch back in now, but not to any meaningful effect with his body between your thighs. Your hands hurt from how tightly you dig them into the fabric of your pillow under your head, your whole body winding up beneath Kiyoomi’s warm, suckling kisses and the singing of the nerves in your breasts responding to his caressing tongue and cradling hands.
His mouth and chin are slick with his own spit as he pulls away to nip at the bottom of your breast, pushing them both together with a rasping groan, and his sloppy sucks rip a shaky sound from your lungs, body going boneless beneath him. More sounds crack from your throat, tears springing to your eyes at the vibrating, agonizing need he instills in you with just his kisses and his hands.
Who would have thought that just a month ago he’d been so timid, so unsure but wanting? If anyone were to peer in on this moment between you, to find you writhing beneath a beautiful man as he scrunches the fabric of your dress in his fists and drags it down your body, they would never know just how much he’s learned about you and the things you like since your relationship grew into what it is now. Learning how to please you, how to please himself with you, how to let you please him, all in ways he’s only grown more confident in, and more eager to experience with you.
He’s been absolutely insatiable, and you’re not going to stymie his needs in any way.
“O-Oh god,” you whisper, lifting your head to watch in wonder as Kiyoomi drags and swirls his tongue all over your breasts, a flush high in his cheeks, his soft lips catching eagerly on your skin. He sucks and pulls away, dragging blood to the surface until it hurts and warms, and then he does it again. His hands are careful in the way they cup you, thumbs slipping in his own spit and nails dragging down your sensitive sides--normally ticklish, but almost unbearably achy in the pleasure it provides in this moment. “Oh my god, Kiyo…”
The nickname makes him hum, practically growl, vibrating mouth full of your tit, long lashes fluttering open to glance up at you with dark eyes. Your mouth is dropped open with heavy breaths, his eyes locked with yours while he slowly swirls his tongue around your swollen nipple, watching him disconnect, wet and lurid, from your skin. He swallows, and you whimper for no reason except that he’s stunningly gorgeous--unhinged and needy and wanting and exuding the kind of dominance he holds over everything else in his life as he gazes back at you, dragging his tongue around your nipple again and again.
You know how much he likes it when you call him Kiyo. You’re the only one that does it, the only one that gets to. You can’t help the way your lips curl in amusement at the memory of Atsumu giving Kiyoomi a smug little look the first time he heard it, the blonde asking with a playful pout, What, don’t like the nickname Omiomi anymore? I’m hurt.
Kiyoomi, quick as a whip, deadpanned back, I never liked the nickname, ‘Tsumu. The little smirk on his face gave away his sarcasm, making the blonde cackle and toss an arm around his shoulders.
Can I call you that then? You got a thumb and a smirk tossed your way, a set of chocolate eyes and a set of coal black focused on you.
Absolutely not.
“What?” Kiyoomi breaths against you, a hint of a smile pulling at his own lips, bringing you back into the moment with him. His brows arch, gazing up at you while kissing slowly from one breast to the other, across your sternum, from nipple to nipple. You wiggle in response, watching him hungrily.
You shake your head, your words feeling clumsy and like cotton in your mouth while you try not to let your eyes roll into the back of your head. “J-Just...Just like calling you that,” you whisper. “Kiyo…” You say it just to say it, pressing your body up against him with a moan, the fat of your tit plumping up against his pink cheeks from the motion.
His sound of appreciation vibrates through the tender skin of your breast, and you can’t help it anymore. Your eyes roll up and your head drops back, uneven breaths getting the better of you, all under his watchful eye.
“I like it, too,” he confesses, his breath cooling his spit over your ignited nerves. Even though you already knew that, even though you can read him like an open book now, it still feels fucking good to hear. It swells a little balloon of pride alongside your desire, gives you something only for you, like everything about this is. You preen with the knowledge that you’re the only one that gets to see Kiyoomi in this state, you get to mold him and teach him and learn with him in ways that are new and otherworldly in many ways to the hesitant, careful, perceptive man lavishing and indulging in your body.
He shifts up onto his knees, curling his fingers with the delicate straps of your dress. “Arms down,” he whispers. They feel like lead when you move them from under the pillow. He slinks your dress further down, pulling it over your hips, bringing your panties out from under you with it.
“Can I touch you now?” You ask, a pleading edge to your voice you hope will sway him. Instead, you’re left groaning at the smirk curling his lips, the soft shake of his head while he strips you entirely of your clothing.
He hums in amused approval when you shove your hands back under the pillow, tossing your tiny dress and drenched panties off the edge of the edge of the bed.
“You’re getting too cocky,” you croak, watching him lean down to kiss your sternum, eager hands stroking down your sides, over the curves of your hips.
He laughs softly against your hip, opening his mouth to suck a stinging kiss just beneath it with a pleased groan. You gasp and squirm, nails dragging almost painfully along the underside of the pillow as you try not to grip his gorgeous, silky hair.
Kiyoomi glances up at you from under long lashes, his cheeks pink and his lips swollen. His soft cheek rests just above your pussy on your thigh, his arms and weight pinning your legs down beneath him.
He swallows and licks his lips, eyes locked on you. “You’re gonna cum on my face, okay?” His lips curl in soft delight when you nod eagerly.
You expect him to shift your legs over his shoulders, but when he instead pushes your knees out and pins your thighs to the bed beneath his forearms, you realize he really has no intention of letting you have any sort of control tonight. It makes the room spin around you, your head clouding over as you watch him tilt his head down, beautiful curls falling across his face, his pretty nose dragging slowly across your mons.
Kiyoomi’s broad back expands with a deep inhale, and he moans; ragged and hungry, hot breath rolling across your folds. Your hips quake, unable to do anything when you feel his tongue dip out over the top of your slit, curling against your clit to drag slowly back up. His lips mold to your mound, not unlike the way he’d sucked on your tits, taking as much of the sensitive flesh into his mouth as he can before lifting his head slowly, dragging your clit and the top of your folds with him til they pop free with a feeling so intense you can’t help the weak shout that escapes you.
“K-Kiyoomi, holy fuck,” you whimper, elbows digging into the bedding so you can watch. Your chest heaves with your quick breaths, toes curling and thighs flexing. But it’s to no avail. He’s stronger than you, keeps your legs pinned out of the way for his own pleasure between them, and the mixture of desperation, wonder, and euphoria has you feeling like you might pass out.
He groans back, muffled by the act of repeating the glorious motions from before. You squeak, a tiny sound compared to the way his warm, vibrating mouth lights up your clit and makes the whole room fucking tremble. He sighs when your lips pull free again with a wet suck, his hot breath rolling down the drenched apex of your groin and all over your warm labia.
He does it again, and your insides clench til you hiccup, eyes burning with the sting of pleasured tears, hips almost vibrating beneath him. You’re sure he must feel the heat of your rising need with his chin tucked against your pussy, and he explores with his tongue. Instead of pulling off with another slurp, he sinks back against you, tongue splitting down through your labia to taste all that’s gathered there. He drags it back up from the bottom of your pussy all the way to your clit, swallowing loudly before his tongue is swirling around your clit with strong purpose.
You’re panting and squirming beneath him, hips rocking side to side, legs trembling in their attempts to shut, fingers all twisted in any bit of loose fabric of the bedding you can grip. But he doesn’t let your legs clamp around his cheeks. Kiyoomi keeps you spread and easily accessible, lashes lowered to undoubtedly watch the way your cunt twitches and flexes with the need to be filled every time he pulls away, watching the way his spit and your slick make you glisten for him, your folds puffy and achy for more. To give your pussy the attention it needs, dragging his tongue in slow, thorough swirls over your clit, a hand crawling up the inside of your thigh to push through into that tight, warm, wet little space just under his chin.
His fingers are long. Long and dexterous, and he presses two up with an angled purpose, with knowledge he has been determined to not only memorize but imprint into his fingertips, use without thought, with instinct. And the same is said for the way his tongue swirls and his lips suck at your clit in tandem.
You jerk, yanking at the pillow under your head. “K-Kiyoomi, fuck.” He moans back against you, your eyes rolling back towards the ceiling.
Kiyoomi has learned a lot. A lot. In the past month or so that you’ve been fucking. Not only did he have intimate knowledge of what you like and dislike before your sexual relationship began, as couples should have of each other, he’s weaponized it against you all for your benefit. And it might honestly be one of your favorite things he’s been absolutely drooling to get good at.
He eats you out like he wants to be glued to your cunt for eternity. Like he wants to eat, drink, breathe your pussy and your pleasure til the end of time. It certainly feels that way, where you’re whimpering and rolling your shoulders, crying out into the silence of your room with your arms tossed over your eyes.
And he likes it. Your hips tremble, as do your lungs, and you’re suddenly reminded of the fact he’s cum while eating you out in the past. Anyone who knows him would most certainly be surprised by this, thinking he might be inclined to shy away from the messier aspects of sex, and you laugh drunkenly as the thought flits through your mind while feeling his fingers drag your slick out, watching him lap it up and bury his face against your spread folds in a half-hormone drunk stupor, his eyes closed in reverence and pleasure of his own.
Your whole body twitches with the first too-much touch deep against that swollen spot inside you, the first overwhelming suck and swirl on your clit. Sharp eyes cut up towards you, framed by flushed cheeks and mussed curls, smooth and warm against the slippery slick folds of your pussy and the plush skin on either side.
You do your best to hold his gaze, your eyes almost rolling back in your head with another tumultuous jolt of your pelvic floor muscles. “K-Kiyoomi, I-I’m--”
His fingers become relentless, the pace smooth but the precision intense. You gasp and jolt again, fingers snagging in the sheets, mouth dropping open, thighs quivering against the width of his shoulders until the coiling, tight heat in your belly snaps, and you’re crying out and rocking your hips back and forth, hiccuping and mewling, your pussy throbbing around his digits. The sound becomes all the wetter, a warm sigh breathed across your skin while he suckles hard on your clit, hard enough to knock your head back, eyes clenching tight.
You’re vaguely aware of how broken and weak your moans sound, but the rush in your head while you cum is a little too loud and delightful for you to really care about how stupid you might sound. Your thighs struggle to close, Kiyoomi shifting on purpose to keep them spread, his fingers withdrawing to rub softly through the swollen petals of your pussy.
You let your hands drag over your scrunched face, letting out a tortured sound as the wet suction of his mouth eases wetly from your clit, lets his tongue loll out to swirl slowly through your folds. He hums as he takes another mouthful, slurping you up and everything you’ve given him, so gently but it feels like sparks through your body, making you quake against the sheets.
Quickly, you uncover your eyes to watch him pull back ever so slightly from your pussy. A long, glittery strand of slick connects his chin to you, and your hips buck upwards at the sight. His eyes are focused down between your legs, his fingers still petting over you. He drags them up softly, catching on your clit, making you jerk, and brings them up towards his mouth. He breaks the strand, brings your slick to his shining lips. His wet cheeks hollow in as he drags them slowly out.
“K-Kiyo,” you plead, grasping onto the pillow beneath you. He blinks up at you, eyes heavy with desire. His fingers leave his lips with a sucking sound, the bed dipping as he moves up onto his hands and knees, dropping kisses over your tummy.
“God, please, let me touch you,” you beg, whispery and choked off, still trembling from your orgasm, giving him wide, desperate eyes from where he’s crawled back above you. He just leans down to kiss you, and when you move your hands to grasp at him, he’s snagging your wrists, pushing them back down. You whine, turning your head away to gasp, brows furrowed and feeling as if you might cry from being denied the pleasure of touching him. “Kiyoomi! Please!”
“I told you to behave,” he purrs against your cheek, lips wet, the smell of your sex permeating your senses and making your whole body arch up into him, trying to reconnect a kiss that he, once again, denies you. Inches from your face, no longer cloudy from the high he’d sucked out of you, you get to look at him and mourn his hands on your wrists.
He’s flushed to his chest, face shining from his nose to his chin, and eyes drowsy with heated desire. Your lungs still leak with little whimpers for him, hips still quake, still rock with the echoes of your orgasm where you lay trapped beneath him on the bed. His hands are warm and dewy on your skin from playing in your shared slick and spit, the bed creaking under you both as he squeezes your hips and uses the strength in his big, well-trained body, to slowly roll you over.
“I want you like this,” he breathes, warm hands exploring the arching plane of your back. You groan and stretch out under his touch, spreading your legs to press your knees into the bed around his where he kneels, and Kiyoomi’s long fingers curl around your hips, helping to pull you up on your shaky limbs, pulling your ass back until the soft, high quality fabric of his dress pants are rubbing against your damp thighs. The hard curve of his cock presses against your swollen pussy, the warm plane of his stomach against your ass, and you groan, sinking down onto your elbows.
His hands massage across your ass, squishing and gripping the fat as he rocks you against him. You simply rock at his pace, still a little fucked out from him making you cum, your head dropping down against the sheets. His fingers curl and drag restlessly where his hands hold you, and he’s panting, molding his fingers between your shoulder blades, pressing your chest deeper into the bed.
He pauses in his grinding, and you make a dissatisfied noise, wagging your ass back and forth against the hard press of his cock, against the cooling slick that’s caught on the fabric of his slacks and soaked through. Kiyoomi groans, lands a heavy slap against the fat of your cheek, one that stings and makes you gasp, dancing his fingers over the pain left behind. “D-Do you like this?”
You nod quickly, shifting further up on your knees, pushing your limp upper body back with your arms to arch like some kind of animal, trying to get your ass as high in the air as you can for him. His hips follow quickly, his breath growly and needy, the hands on your body squeezing tightly.
“Fuck,” he spits quietly, leaning over you to smatter kisses down your spine, hands dragging over your skin, gripping your waist to help pull your hips closer.
“Kiyo,” you sigh, tilting your head back until it meets his shoulder. His kisses smear over your cheek, hot breaths panting against your skin, his hand tracing down your stomach to feel the wet, messy drip of your pussy. His fingers flick across your clit, making you squirm beneath him, feeling as if you might fall apart too quickly, now, balanced precariously on your knees with whatever little bit of sanity you had left. He fumbles for only a second before he finds his pace, using your slick to make the rub of your overstimulated nerves easier.
You can’t help the way you cry and shake, resting all of your weight on your chest to reach down and grasp at his wrist. He knows by now it’s not to stop him--you’re simply overwhelmed, needing to grab onto something, anything to ground yourself through the pleasure. To be connected to him in some way.
“What do you want?” He demands, low and shaky in your ear.
It takes you a second to gather yourself enough to speak a coherent sentence, barely able to even open your eyes. “W-Want you to f-fuck me,” you gasp, rolling your quaking hips back against the soft slacks and all it hides beneath. “Want you to fuck me however you n-need it, Kiyoomi, please.” He sucks a bite against your neck that makes you hiss and stiffen, the sting tingling into a lulling pleasure beneath the growl that escapes him at your admission.
You don’t quite realize what he’s doing until you feel the cool rush of losing his body heat. You make a questioning sound, half-blind and entirely at his mercy with the rush of your orgasm from before, only to choke on it when his big hands spread your cheeks and his tongue is dragging through your folds.
You squeak, hips jumping in both surprise and toe-curling delight, gasping and pushing back on his face. You burn with a mixture of need and embarrassment when his tongue drags sloppy along your clit, through your dripping folds, up over your asshole. Your thighs quake at the attention he gives you that doesn’t last much longer than a second, yet feels burned into you for so much longer than that. You hear the lewd sound of him sucking spit and slick back into his mouth, the jingle of his belt before he pulls away from you, your hands dislodging from where they’d been wound into the sheets when he grabs you in a strong grip and pulls you down the bed until his cock is pinned between his belly and your ass.
The first swipe of the head of his cock through your folds is clumsy, a little too eager. He curses softly, pressing down on your neck when you shift to try and help him line up.
Your quiet l-let me is choked upon when the fat head finds your flexing entrance. You gasp, the hand that had been reaching between your legs for him flopping to twist in the sheets between your knees.
Kiyoomi groans as he sinks carefully up inside you. The hand squeezing your waist drags down to pull your cheeks apart. You arch your back further, pushing back on his cock. It feels like it sinks into you forever. Long and thick and warm, curved upwards ever so sweetly to glide past that spot inside you that never fails to make your whole body twitch. It feels bigger at this angle, you think with a dizzy spin of the room beneath you, your pussy clenching hard on him the deeper he goes.
"O-Oh fuck," he grunts, leaning the weight of his hips against your ass, his fingers groping just a little too hard at your hip and pushing down, forcing your ass to squish against his front. At this point you don’t care if he leaves bruises, if you ache after. It almost hurts how deep Kiyoomi reaches, but it’s the good kind of hurt. The hurt that warms and fizzles into something that stings better. You relish it with a pleased hiss between your teeth, back curling and relaxing, your toes and fingers doing the same.
“You’re okay?” He asks, voice low, a trembling undercurrent to it that sounds how you feel. Your reply is high pitched and needy, barely words, nodding into the blankets, mumbling something affirming. The poor man behind you grunts again when your pussy flexes again, bears down on him eagerly, your nerves and body too ready for what's to come.
You almost squeal his name when he draws his hips back, dragging his cock out of you. Your pussy squeezes down so tight on him, trying to keep him inside, that each inch you lose makes it clench again and again, making the man behind you grunt. You gasp and whimper and try to push your ass back because it feels like he’s forcing his cock out.
His fingers dig bruises into your hips, and he groans when he rolls his hips forward just as slowly. Your pussy squelches wet and messy when he pushes back in. He bumps against your ass, the head of his cock pushing on something just a little too deep within you that’s warm and pleasantly achy, pushing you forward on your knees and face. You feel his cock thicken within you, twitching against the needy hug of your body, the desperate clasp in an attempt to keep him plugged up within you.
“God,” Kiyoomi hisses, massaging your waist, starting a steady pace with another slow withdrawal, balls softly tapping your clit. You jolt, try to take a full breath, the side of your face pushed into the sheets, working your hips back to meet his with encouraging pulls of his big, warm hands. “H-How...How do you feel so fucking good? Every t-time?”
A whimper leaves you, his hissed praise dripping through your rocking body and down the forward tilt of your back. “K-Kiyo, you’re so b-big,” you mumble, eyes shut in bliss.
Kiyoomi’s hips jolt forward, and you gasp, a whiny curse slipping free as he starts to fuck into you. His pace isn’t fast, but the force of his hips is, making your body clap against his, making your ass and tits bounce and jiggle each time. He groans, his hands appreciating and caressing the bounce of your ass and thighs, dragging his fingers over the swells of your hips and down the arch of your back.
He growls wordlessly, leaning down over you, pressing his hands into the bedding around your head. His head dips towards you, kissing over your downed shoulders, teeth nipping at your skin. His breath fans hot over your neck, lips gliding over the sensitive spots that make you quiver. “S’it feel good? The way I--” He takes a ragged breath, rolling his hips into yours. “The way I f-fuck you?”
“Yes!” You whine, grasping his wrists by your head, trying to rock your hips back to meet his. The pace inevitably speeds up, and he groans again, and you gasp when he suddenly pulls out, pulling his hands free, pushing you forward when you try to chase his cock by clamoring back on your hands and knees after him, turning your head to give him a confused, needy glance over your shoulder.
He’s flushed and fucked out, lids heavy and lips parted. You hiccup his name, finding him suddenly leaning forward to kiss you sloppily, feeling his wet cock drag down between your cheeks again, his shaky hands rubbing all over your tits and stomach to pull your back against this chest.
“I-I’m sorry, I was so close, I just--” He gulps, silencing himself as he guides himself back inside you. He slides quickly and easily back into place with how fucked open and wet you are, body ready and eager for him, spread and stretched and drenched to be fit exactly for him. Your toes curl as his cock pushes deep again, leaning forward on your hands with a sigh, your mouth dropped open to moan, his hand coming around to hitch you closer by your belly, pressing down on the thick feeling of him up inside you. He rocks forward, pushing you forward until you’re once again presented before him, his strong grasp keeping you in place.
You tremble on your hands and knees, elbows quaking with your effort to stay aloft. Kiyoomi continues to thrust and swirl his hips once more, gripping so tight to your waist to tug you back against him as he pleases he’ll surely leave bruises. You’re both groaning and gasping, the soft slap of your ass meeting his hips making your insides curl and ache, the feeling of his balls smacking your clit leaving you breathless with every connection.
You’re vaguely aware, over the sounds of your weak whimpers and long, needy moans, that he’s whispering under his breath, panting and growling softly.
“...couldn't stop staring, wanted to pull your dress up and f-fuck you in front of all of them.”
You have a physical reaction to his words, cunt clutching tight  and your hips thrusting back on him. You both gasp, his pace stuttering. He curses roughly, repositioning his knees, and the pace he takes next is a little faster, a little rougher, makes your tits jiggle where they hang towards the bed, makes your jaw drop. He’s pulling you back against him now and your shoulders give out, forehead pressing into the bed with a gasp.
“You…” You can hear him gulp on his next words. “You want me to fuck you in--in front of them? In front of the team? Sh-Show them you’re mine? Y-Yeah?” His hand suddenly slides forward, taking a groping, slow handful of one of your swaying breasts, making you keen. They’re still so sensitive after all the attention he gave them. He uses it like a handhold to help pull you back into his thrusts, and it aches in the best ways.
“Yes!” You cry for him, leaning your sweating forehead against your forearm, grasping his groping hand with your own. But his hand is so much bigger than yours, all you can do is hold his wrist while he squeezes his fingers over your breast, until they slide together and capture your nipple between thumb and forefinger, until he pulls on it, making you cry.
Kiyoomi groans, and you can feel his cock throb and thicken inside you. He pushes you forward until you’re pinned flat under his weight, his parted mouth panting and growling loud in your ear as he bounces his hips down into your ass. His thrusts are loud and clapping, your whimpers muffled into the sheets. One of your knees gets knocked upwards, opening your folds up to let your clit get slapped over and over by his balls. It’s aggressive and quick and hard and everything you need to drive you towards your end.
“K-Kiyoomi!” You gasp, brow crumpling, his body and panting and hold upon you, the pleasure he gives you, all you know in this short, intense moment that feels like it stretches on for hours.
“C-Cum, cum for me,” he breathes, scratchy and growly against your cheek, hands sliding forward to grapple your hands down against the sheets, weaving his fingers with yours and squeezing them tight. “Only me.”
You’re more than eager to give in, arching your back as much as you can, whining long and wordless for him as the hot rush of warmth over your skin and the fluttering pull of your pussy spiraling you out into a pleasant white flash behind your eyes. Kiyoomi groans and trembles on top of you, smearing messy kisses over your cheek and neck, mumbling praise against your jaw and shoulder, his hips slowing but the heaviness, the strength behind the way he fucks you through it rising.
It doesn’t take long for him to follow after you. His cock flexes, feels as if it grows with each greedy coax of your twitching cunt, until he pauses, another breathier croon leaving him as he spills hot inside you. His chest presses into your back, mouth suckling against the nape of your neck, dragging his nails gently down one of your arms to grasp one of your soft breasts until you whimper, his fingers soft but reverent over your hard nipple, against the give of fat and how he uses it to hug you closer.
That hand eventually slides beneath your chest, curling his arm around you in some attempt to hug you closer, his face buried in your hair as you both catch your breath. His cock is still inside you, warmed and firm, and you can’t help how you arch and clench with the remnants of your tingling pleasure. Kiyoomi grunts, pushing his hips against your ass in a gentle thrust.
The calm after the storm is pleasant and sleepy. You lie for a long time, or so it feels, with his bigger body blanketing you, finger stroking over your arm, tangled fingers loose but weaved together still above your head.
You laugh suddenly, a breathy sound with his weight on your back. “Fuck me in front of the team, huh?” You breathe, lips curling in a smile when you hear Kiyoomi groan softly against your temple.
He rolls off of you, arm trapped under your head keeping him from getting away, and you start laughing harder when you turn to glance at him beside you. His hand covers his eyes, face tilted away, but you can see the curl of his lips, the plumping of his cheeks. His chest bounces softly while you wiggle closer, his arm following to encourage you cuddling up against him. “Didn’t know that was something you thought about.”
He sighs, dropping his arm, slowly turning his head to glance at you. There’s a soft nervousness in his eyes. He chews on his bottom lip while he looks you over.
“Did that make you uncomfortable?” He whispers, vulnerability in his tone, his heart thudding in his chest under your hand. “I don’t...I don’t actually want to--”
You grin and pet across his pectorals. “I know. And it was hot, don’t worry.”
His brow arches. “Y-Yeah?”
You nod, pressing a kiss to the bicep pillowing your head. “Yeah. It was fun, and I kind of like the idea of you staking a claim like that.” You roll your eyes, trying to keep your own bashfulness aside. “Dirty talk doesn’t mean we’re going to do it. It’s just...fun fantasy, y’know?”
He nods, curling his arm to pull you closer. You share a kiss, sighing happily with the press of your body against his.
Kiyoomi kisses your forehead. “You just looked so pretty tonight,” he breathes, another kiss to your skin following. “I could see them looking at you. I was looking at you. You’re irresistible.”
He suddenly rolls over, his dark eyes flashing towards you, and you giggle when he presses you down against the bed to kiss you passionately. You preen with the feeling of his cock half hard again, dripping and pressed to your thigh.
Kiyoomi kisses you dumb, only pulling away once you’re pliant and drowsy beneath him. He gives you a gentle look, slowly petting hair away from your forehead and cheeks, looking you over without shame, with a fondness so warm it makes your toes curl in the same way his body had.
A big hand cups your cheek, and he kisses you firmly once more before he pulls away to stand. You roll after him, but stop belly down on the warm spot he left behind, spreading out for the first time across the mattress with a delighted sigh, your body sinking against the ergonomic bed Kiyoomi bought you for your birthday. You take a second to appreciate it with your eyes closed.
Needless to say, as excessive as you’d felt it had been at the time, you’re very glad now that he’d pouted his way into you letting it into the apartment upon delivery.
The sound of running water and the soft glow behind your eyelids has you opening them slowly. You watch from your spot amongst the pillows as Kiyoomi strips himself of the rest of his clothing. His shoulders roll back with a sigh, whatever invisible weight that had held him down during a night of social interaction he didn’t really want and his dizzying lust finally completely lifted after losing himself in you.
The light of the open bathroom door spills into the bedroom, and he looks otherworldly where he stands; curly hair mussed from your hands and his effort, his tall, broad form exquisite under the soft hug of the light around his ribs and his hips before it drowns in shadow. You trace each mole you can see from his thighs up to his face, your heart skipping a beat as you gaze upon his beauty. His long lashes lowered to where he unlatches his watch from his wrist, placing it carefully upon his nightstand, moving with near silent and careful grace. Like he could be some kind of mirage of deep sleep, only visible by moonlight, who only blesses your dreams with his presence.
Dark eyes swing your way and steal your breath, catching your sleepy gaze half buried in the pillows. He hums low in question, though you can’t say anything back with the way your heart pounds against the mattress, simply watching him shift to kneel on the bed like some kind of seductive vision, reaching for you and smoothing his warm hand across the dip of your spine.
He leans down, hair tickling your cheek, and kisses you softly. “Come with me,” he whispers, huffing in amusement when you whine softly in disagreement. His fingers dance over your skin, and you stretch like a cat awakened from a long sleep, his touch never wavering in it’s softness and reverence even while you roll over to show your belly. His palm spans wide over your diaphragm, traces low and lower until his fingers are dipping through the wetness of your pleasure together, watching you shiver and bite your lip. His smirk is satisfied, proud, affectionate. “Come. Let’s clean up, okay?”
You groan at his insistence but let him pull you up and after him, his hands strong and steady, his gaze soft and assured. You follow after him when he stands, and there’s a languid pause in motion where you press in close against his bare body and wrap him up to the best of your ability, his arms twining around you in turn, all your skin and feelings and breaths felt and heard and touched in kind.
He grips your jaw, helps tilt your head up for the kiss you seek. It’s not a demanding hold, it’s not a controlling hold. His grasp is welcoming and grounding, wanting and connecting in the way it makes you feel like he needs you just as close as you need him, contradicting his own fears and anxieties to make a place that, just for a moment, has no room for them. Just room for the two of you.
He drags forth words he couldn’t possibly have known you’ve been drowning in when he pulls back.
“Kiyoomi, I love you.”
You almost laugh. It doesn’t feel like enough. The words are true, but it doesn’t feel like they really encapsulate what you mean; how you feel so lucky to have caught his eye, that you gave him a chance despite his general abrasiveness and inexperience, how he’s appreciated your effort for him so much that he’s stripped himself down in similar ways to wonder at and examine things about himself he’d never considered before, in order to be better for not just you, but for himself, too. That you’ve enjoyed watching him brighten and loosen, to stand taller than before; not so stiff with anxiety and fear anymore, but with an easiness that you now know he takes with him even when he’s not with you, that you hope he keeps even if this all falls apart.
Your eyes blink open, feeling hot and wet. Where your hands sit on his back, you feel his heart begin to thud, fingers on your left hand brushing back and forth over one of the many beautiful moles that smatter his pale frame. His pretty eyes are wide, strong arms tightening your embrace. It almost pulls you up off your toes how close he holds you.
Those dark eyes jump all over your face, as if he’s surprised by your confession. And it melts away into a soft, almost shy smile. Toothy and elated and it makes you laugh with watery joy.
Kiyoomi gently strokes your tears away from your hot cheeks. “I love you, too.” It’s a low quiver of words, shaking with the quick, heavy beat of his heart against your chest, that makes his touch tremble just a little bit against you.
“Thank you,” you whisper against his kiss. It’s his turn to laugh, barely a breath that’s warm and drips down your chin, over your nose when he kisses the bridge of it, the wet apples of your cheeks.
“Come on,” he whispers, as if...as if your shared confessions of love are as every day as the sun and the moon, and you smile back at him, because it is It should be. “Let me take care of you.”
He doesn’t let you pull away enough to walk normally, leaving you to giggle as your wobbly legs struggle to step around his bigger feet, your laughter breaking out louder when you accidentally step on his toes and he hisses, his own grin wide and toothy. You both stumble into the cool bathroom, laughing bright and whispering your love to each other again and again over the sound of the filling bath--giddily, confidently, delightfully.
Stripped down together, to nothing but your emotions and your skin, the tenderness with which Kiyoomi has allowed you to see and know parts of him, that he has allowed you to handle and hold of him, to hold you in kind, feels like almost too much. Like you’ve both been rubbed raw until each touch is electric and achy, and curiously wondering.
All you can do is cling to each other, in all that you are and that you’ve given, in the soft silence of the warm bath water he drew for you both. With sleepy eyes, you watch the way goosebumps rise across his skin, chasing after the delicate fingertip that traces from one beauty mark to the other--down his arched neck, towards his shoulder, across the strong arm draped languidly over the edge of the tub, long fingers just breaking the silvery surface of the water. They rise up, dripping, to meet your hand at the end of your voyage, fingers weaving together slowly.
Kiyoomi shivers, his arm under the water tightening around your waist. His chin nudges your forehead, murmuring something about being sensitive and how it’s all your fault. You give a whispery laugh, his heart never having been louder beneath your ear.
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