#cutting edge meme humor

[cosmicstarlatte]

Reality Show (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

Diavolo convinces Lucifer to have him & his brothers do a new demon reality show that revolves around their everyday lives.

»Characters: Demon Bros // ->[Click here for Part 2: Dateables]

»Tags: LUCIFER CAUGHT IN 4K, Shitpost/Humor, Mentions of reader/MC, Husbando Beel Supremacy, Bulleted Style

»Notes: CM = Crew Member ;; Sorry I was gonna upload this sooner but wanted to draw art for it. xD

Lucifer:

"Okay that's enough, go somewhere else."

CM: "We can't, you agreed to this under contract"

sighs

Mildly regretted his loyalty to Diavolo, otherwise he would've never done this

His camera crew was always on edge with him

The show stressed him more than usual

Perhaps there were a few embarrassing moments he would prefer not to talk about

Like pushing a door that said pull, forgetting the word spoon and calling it a tiny bowl on a stick

[Camera peeks through Lucifer's study, recording a smiling Lucifer texting on his phone]

CM: "Who were you texting Lucifer? Was it ___? There's been rumors..."

"I was checking the weather."

CM: "You take selfies for the weather?"

Mammon:

"Hey wait stop recordin' this! Not that what we are doin' is illegal!"

His camera crew had a rough time with him

But it made for good television!

He talked shit about Lucifer the most

"Yeah a lotta people dunno this, but Lucifer cries to me all the time! What can I say, I'm a reliable guy!"[Crew zooms in on an unamused Lucifer in the background]

[Cut to Mammon hanging from the ceiling]

"Can someone get me down from here!? HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOIN'!?"

A lot of the crew's clips had shaky movement from running due to multiple mammon situations

They got a great swoon-worthy shot of Mammon gazing lovingly at you

CM: "Maybe you should confess?"

"I'm confessin' to nothin'! Talk to my lawyer!"

CM: "That's not what we- Nevermind."

Levi:

"I already stream online so this isn't any different."

lol

Levi didn't realize they'd be watching his every move

How was he suppose to worship his shrine of Ruri and you in front of them!?

His camera crew couldn't stop cringing around the otaku

it was uncomfortable for everyone

[Camera films secret sweet moment of him awkwardly practicing asking if you want to hang out]

He asked for it to be deleted, it was denied

However his ratings shot up after that clip and the next one:

CM: "Do you have a crush on ___?"

"W-what!? N-no!!! (Incoherent Levi noises and he trips)"

That clip became a viral meme for weeks

I'm talking remixes and everything

In the end his camera crew actually did have a lot of fun with him and they game online together now

Satan:

"Watch your step. Oh, don't touch that!"

His camera crew had a difficult time with him

He managed to avoid them frequently so he wasn't overly present in the show, much to the annoyance of Lucifer and the others

If they did catch him, all the clips looked the same, all he did was read

They did manage to catch him feeding some stray devildom kitties

[Camera zooms in on him in his room with a collared cat on his lap]

CM: "I thought you couldn't have pets?"

"It's not mine. Clearly, I can't control what comes in my room as of late."

CM:  "It has a collar?"

"Next question."

CM: "What can you tell us about the Anti-Lucifer League?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Next question."

CM: "Okay... viewers want to know what's up with you and ___?"

[Satan opens a book and gets sucked in]

Asmo:

"It's like, Devilgram Live, but longer!"

Most unbothered out of everyone

He did get annoyed when they tried to catch him before he could start his morning beauty routine

He was scary, they caught it on camera...it was the only time the crew deleted a clip on a brothers request

Overall his crew had an easy time, it was standard to what they normally do, Asmo himself was fun

He was a natural, of course everyone loved him, who wouldn't?

Was the one to start drama for the sake of tv

Nothing too crazy just messed with Luci's schedule, got Mammon arrested, hid Levi's Ruri body pillow, little things really!

[Camera catches Asmo cuddling next to you]

CM: "You seem very fond of them!"

"I am! Oh maybe we can do like a one year WEDDING special later on!?"

Beel:

"Just don't get in my way I guess."

He wasn't really on board with the idea but not much he could do

His crew had an average time with him, he was easy and chill to film

They caught him doing a lot of activities like, cooking/baking, sports, gaming, it was surprising to viewers

His work out clips got a lot of views too, he was a busy demon

They filmed him helping around the house, even cleaning your room and leaving you little gift snacks

CM: "Wow, snacks? You must really like ___!"

"Yeah. I love them. I want to give them the world."He confidently admitted, smiling brightly

Had high ratings in the polls, the show gave everyone a new perspective of him who wasn't just a gluttonous beast

Belphie:

CM: "Is he breathing?"

"Zzz..."

The crew had an easy but boring time with him

There's only so many hours of a sleeping Belphie you can record

The were some soft serene moments with him,Beel and you, gazing at the stars

[Camera catches him sleeping, smiling and mumbling something about you]

CM (poking): "Belphie wanna share what you were dreaming about? We heard you call their name. "

"Only if the network agrees to air it unfiltered. It will be very descriptive."

CM:

CM: "That's a wrap guys."

⬦You might also like: MC's Livestream

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me humor #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me fic #obey me crack #obey me imagines #◇˖・ﾟ— › cosmic obey me . ⊹ #shitpostcifer

[feelbokkie]

Love Risk | Chapter 20 (end)

pairing: Hyunjin x fem reader; Changbin x fem reader

genre: smau, dating because of a bet, crack, angst, fluff, university au

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings:  swearing, minor violence, toxic mother

summary: Hyunjin and Changbin make a bet to see who can make the reader fall in love with them first. Will one of them be able to succeed or will it all crash and burn before they do?

word count: 1,138 (unedited)

screenshot count: 15

©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

previous | masterlist | epilogue

bonus content: memes

Felix and you carefully climb up the stairs after your walk. After three weeks in pain, your surgery was finally scheduled and one of the requirements was try to gain some function in your knee for a better recovery time. So you and Felix went on daily walks, increasing the distance little by little each day, without your brace on or your crutches. He would hold onto your crutches and your brace in one hand and hold your hand in the other to stabilize you. And if the pain ever became too much, he would help you get your brace back on and give you the crutches. It was your daily routine.

Finally at the door, you two put your brace back on before heading inside. When Felix opens the door, you’re met with your mother sitting on your couch with Minho. You freeze, not knowing if you’re actually seeing your mom or the drugs from the pain medication is finally making you see hallucinations. Felix, confused as to why you’ve stopped walking, looks up and tenses behind you.

“Get out of our apartment.” Felix growls.

“I’m just here to see my daughter.” She says calmly. She’s dressed in tan slacks and a flowery blouse, she’s clearly just come out of a meeting.

“Lix? Do you see her daughter around here?” You ask, not taking your eyes off of her.

“Nope, she must have the wrong apartment.” He says cooly.

“I’ve sensed I’ve made a mistake…” Minho whispers under his breath.

“Really, dipshit? What was your first clue?” Felix snaps.

You finally step in, walking to the side of the couch that's empty and propping your leg up. Felix follows you and sits between you and your mom. Sensing the tension in the room, Minho retreats to his bedroom. You don't hear the door shut behind him. Knowing him and how nosey he is, he probably left the door open so he can hear.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, no longer looking at your mom.

"You hung up the phone so quickly after our call I didn't get to talk to you." She says grabbing her purse and picking it up.

"That was well over a week ago. But let me guess, business was a priority?" You were quickly becoming irritated. One of the things you needed to do before surgery was cut out caffeine and without your daily coffee, you were even more on edge. She clears her throat.

"I have a proposition for you." She pulls a stack of papers from her purse. You share a look with Felix, letting him know it was okay to leave. He glares at your mom before joining Minho in their room.

"How did you even find out where I live?" You cross your arms and lean back.

"I have my connections."

"That doesn't sound fucking shady at all."

"Language, Y/n." She says sternly.

"Sorry, I didn't have parents to teach me right from wrong."

"Anyway, the proposition--"

"We haven't seen each other since Hyeon died and you're immediately jumping into business."

"You won't humor me with a conversation if I actually tried to have one, right?"

You don't respond. She's right, you wouldn't actually respond if she tried to be civil with you.

"Exactly. Anyway. I heard about your little predicament and I know you can't afford the hospital bills. Your father and I talked, and we're willing to cover all your medical and living expenses as well as give you access to your inheritance from Hyeon." She explains while shuffling through the papers.

"If?" You knew your mother well enough that she wouldn't just offer all this money without some sort of incentive.

"If you move back to Australia and enroll in a business program to prepare to take over the company." She places the contract on your lap and pats your good knee.

"I fucking knew it," You scoff.

"Y/n," She starts.

"No! No, this is ridiculous. You and dad completely cut me off three years ago because I wanted nothing to do with the company and now you're making some last ditch effort to manipulate me into taking over for you. I have a life here. Hell, I have a job--"

"I saw your dance videos and heard your songs. Not impressed. I'm sure Mr. Park Ji Young signed you and your friends with hopes of molding you to be better than you are now. But do you honestly think he's going to keep you on after your injury? You're damaged goods. You're not going to be able to dance until the end of the school year, if you're lucky. And you're never going to be able to dance like you do now. You need to grow up and seriously start thinking about your future instead of going around in your skimpy little outfits and whoring yourself out for attention." This is the most emotion you've ever seen your mother express in your entire life.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to beg for attention if you and dad gave a fuck about me. And I am grown up, I had to grow up. You gave me no choice. And you still don't care. You care more about your company than you ever did me or Hyeon. And I know I dance well. Maybe not as well as some people out there, but I know I'm up there. You're trying to break me and make me think that I have nothing left. Even if I can never dance as well as I did before and I get dropped by JYPE, I have a backup plan. And even if I didn't I rather live on the street begging for money than be your puppet." All you saw was red. You were used to hearing comments like this from your mom. You often heard them after one too many cups of wine. But something about today set you off. You were already worried about not being able to dance to the best of your balilty ever again, buthearing her say it filled you with rage.

"Calm down, Y/N."

"I am calm. In fact, I'm so calm that I'm going to ask you to get the fuck out of my apartment, kindly. Oh, and here," You rip of the contract and place the scraps in her purse.

"One day, you're going to be begging your father and I for money and I'm going to remember this moment." She stands up and adjusts her blouse.

"In your dreams, maybe. But I have a feeling you guys will go bankrupt before that ever happens so I'd worry about yourself if I were you. Anyway, let the door hit on the way out." You stand up and limp your way over to your room and slam the door shut.

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Tag list:

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you

@marcillfll @sanriiolino @minhoesss  @everglowdaisies @jeonghanis @lukeys-giggle @hyunightt @kpopsstuffs @thisisnotjacinta  @jaydebow @dandycharmer @143hyunes @tenmii @soulboundauthor @tattywood @kangyounghyunhands @end0rchans @mloyer @jihanlovic @tfshouldidohere

#feelbokkie writes #love risk smau #stray kids #skz #stray kids smau #skz smau #chan #bangchan #bang chan #lee know #minho #lee minho #changbin #seo changbin #changbin smau #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin smau #han #jisung #han jisung #felix #yongbok #lee felix #lee yongbok #lee felix yongbok #seungmin #kim seungmin #i.n #jeongin

[sugarakis-p2]

Date with a devil

You finally give the man-child from your online game streaming team a chance to buy you a drink. Just when the date from hell is going well, he kidnaps you and uses your body mercilessly. Leaving your head spinning, your heart and nether aching for more.

Warning: Non-Con, Shigaraki Tomura x plus size Reader, Bondage and Discipline, Rope Bondage, Non-Consensual Bondage, Kidnapping, Rough Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Vag Fingering, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Size Kink, Large Cock, Large Breasts, Drinking, Cussing, Light BDSM

You nervously fidget as you wait for your date to arrive.

You sigh, grab your purse, getting up to leave for the sixth time that night. You were already feeling iffy about this date, to begin with. You met him on a game chat. He was polite at first. Overly polite and well-spoken. You thought he might be a dad in his forties. Then later, he started with the serious game lingo. Soon he was a regular on your channel, finding the best gear and creating some of your most popular content when he threw his ominous tantrums. Sometimes they are aimed at you when he wants to be the lead on missions, and you make the call to have some of the other content creators get footage.

A year of flirting later, he had finally asked you out for a drink. But this was Tenfingerdeathpunch. He wasn't smooth, and he definitely wasn't pleasant. It had been a while since you went on a date. You gained weight as you got older and are an American. Men weren't beating down your door, and he was a lot more brazen when you two were alone. Flirting so hard the thought of it makes you blush. He sends you pictures of his torso. Each one has been steadily creeping lower and lower. You both always wore masks when it was video feed. Only he also distorted his voice and created a fake background. You chuckle to yourself when you remember the time a meme was made from one of his tantrums using an old cartoon character called Skeletor. We wore that mask quite often. Honestly, it has paid the bills more than once. It also showed he had a sense of humor.

Ten was also creepy, threatening, and sounded like a little incel man baby. You didn't ask for those pics. He sent them to you because you lost your cool and started insulting his appearance and anything else you could think of that would hurt. You were not expecting a pic of his pretty abdomen, and the tip of the outline of what you have to assume is a monster cock. Ten, who could not read a room, immediately caught onto your eep.

"Oh, you like it?" You could hear his smirk.

"No, I don't. Shut up. I'm going to have to cut all this footage. Neither of us looks good," you sneered.

"That's not true. You think I look good," Ten mocked. You hung up on him. Since then, he has been hinting at things but asked genuinely a few days ago. You look in the mirror at the back of the bar and knaw at your lips in worry. Make that you gained a lot of weight. Your chest is so big you have only seen the tops your toes for years now, and they are brushing the tabletop. This little round booth is not doing you any favors, you take up most of the space, and it will be too intimate. You both have yet to see each other. You can still make a getaway.

"Toughgirlsheart?" A voice rasped. You look up to see a slender young man with light blue hair shadowing his bright red smoldering eyes, surrounded by scars and scratch marks. Same with his neck, his lips dry and cracked. His clothes are clean but a bit ill-fitting and ragged at the edges. You instantly know why he only sent you a pic of his shirtless torso. You're not going to lie. The scars are jarring when you first see them. But he has a nice body. Your cheeks heat when you combine that mental picture of his abs with his handsome face hidden under the scars.

"Y-yeah. Ten?" You answer. A grin tugs at the corner of his lips.

"You are even prettier than I imagined. Let me buy you a drink," Ten said sweetly, raising his hand to call the bartender over, while staring intensely at your chest and lips. You narrow your eyes.

"Brazen as ever, Ten," You say, rolling your eyes.

"Two six fingers of Pappy's on the rocks," he ordered. The bartender paled, taking in Ten's appearance and his ragged clothing.

"Sir, that is rather exspen-," The bartender said when Ten sighed and pulled out a platinum diamond card. Oh my god, he was loaded. No wonder he was such a brat. The bartender goes to get your order while you snap your mouth shut.

"I get less picky the more I drink, but I'm not going to let our first date start with cheap trash," Ten said. Spoken like a true alcoholic. When your order came, There was no doubt in your mind. You both liked to drink, at least, his eyes never moving from your chest. 

"My face is up here" You hiss. His crimson eyes dart up and he smirks.

"I didn't think I had to play meek with you. Aren't you American? Aren't you made of tougher stuff? I was hoping you could handle me. Especially now that I can see how damn hot you are."  

He's so smug and sounded annoyed having to tell you how hot you are. You don't know if he's being sincere or sarcastic. You take a sip of your drink and decide to stay for the drink, at least.

"Oh, my god. This tastes like worship," you gasp in delight.

"Dark smooth smokey tones. The best part is it's 92 proof," Ten grinned. You start talking about drinks. He was charming. Talking about gaming for hours. Drinking the entire time. You deeply regretted sticking around later when you both started getting tipsy. But grateful you stuck to your gamer names. You don't want this brat doxxing you if he decides to throw a trantrum.

"Why did you put in Dreamcaster1995? He's weak when it comes to dungeons. He is much better with pvp. He's a pussy, and everything about him sucks," Ten snarled, scratching his neck. You rolled your head back in exasperated drunk melodramatics.

"This fucking guy," you slurred before pointing your finger at him. You really want to jab his demon eye out at this moment, so this will have to do, "Look. Of course, you would have been better."

"If you knew that, then why him?"

"Part of being a good leader is trusting your team and helping them too. It can't all be about you. Of course, you would have been better, but he has a channel and has helped me in the past. Plus, there is no doubt he would succeed, and watching people struggle a little makes for interesting content too. As a team member you have to help people achieve there goals. Seriously, did you invite me out to harp on this some more?" You lectured.

You are about to get up and leave when his hand shoots out, wrapping four fingers around your wrist. You want to slap him, stopping when you notice he is listening. You could see the gears locking into place as he came to an epiphany. A strange horrid grin splits his expression.

"You're right. You're so right. Please, don't go. Let me buy you another drink. I like talking to you. This is nice," Ten said, vulnerable. A single finger scratched at his neck. His eyes hooded with sincere gratitude. He looked beautiful. You let him pull you close. The side of your breasts presses against his hard chest as he whispers in your ear. Divulging a little secret to keep you there.

"I asked you out because no one else kept me on their team. You are always so patient and buttery sweet with a sharp tongue. A perfect balance of a leader and I admire that. I wanted to learn from you. That's the original reason. But now I really want to bury myself in you. I meant it all the way. I was hoping you could handle me," He rasped, licking your ear and pulling your hand to touch the monster bulge pressing against your thick thigh.

He was not being sarcastic earlier. If that cock was an indicator, he was definitely attracted to you. That thing was much bigger than you thought, and heat prickled over your skin as you lightly squeezed to be sure it was not his leg. How does he have enough blood for that thing? You wondered. A needy, sad part of you really wanted to feel him inside you. Your quirk made you crave, mostly alcohol but there's other ways to get drunk.

"You're disgusting," you breathe back. No real bite to your words, and he grinned.

"Yeah. But not to you. Your skin is hot and flushed with the liquor. That blush over your tits is driving me wild," Ten growled. Pinching on your nipple, pressing a sloppy kiss against your lips. You don't know what it was, but you do not pull away. You let him grope and kiss until you notice people are watching and feel shy.

"Ten, this is embarrassing. People are staring," you mumble against his mouth. He pulled away abruptly.

" IS it that embarrassing to be seen with me?" He seethed.

"What? No. I just don't want strangers staring at me like I'm a fat slut," you snapped back. He really knew how to get under your skin.

"A. Fat. Slut," he repeated slowly and smiled, "You're so fucking cute. You are tempting me to do terrible things. I heard that the bigger the girl tighter the cunt. I don't have to be gentle with you, do I, tough girl?"

He pounced on you and left you breathless before you could answer his disgusting question. He is much quicker than you expected. His kisses quickly adapted to get better and more passionate. His tongue entwining and playing with yours like a controller. They are still wet but not drowning. You are about ready to take this back to your place. When some pro hero sidekicks walk in to relax after work. Ten pulls his hood up and leans in.

"So. How many do you think you can take?" He asks quietly. You laugh and then stop because he is not joking. Alright. At a certain point, it doesn't matter how big your cock is. Crazy murder talk should be a line. You are about to tell him it's getting late when his face hardens as he spots someone in the mirror, "I'm going to pay the bill. Stay here."

He darted away before you could even answer. Leaving you panting and fanning yourself. He's as aggressive as you thought he would be and you did not mind that part at all. Sometimes you wonder if your quirk makes you thirsty for more than liquor. You see, Ten is talking to some girl. A perky little blonde who looked like she was gushing at him. He said something to her and followed her outside. Your heart plummeted into your gut. Of course, he would run off with a young tiny thing. You finish your drink when he pops up in front of you. Startling you, damn he's fast you think.

"We're going now," he snapped.

"Yes, I am," you tell him, obviously irked, when he flashes you your car keys. The stern look in his eyes is all the warning you need. You follow him to your SUV. Heart racing that he stole your keys and knows which car is yours. A big red flag in your book. The thing had a giant sponsor sticker on the side. Ten would defiantly recognize it, but this was too much. You are making excuses for his bad behavior like this was normal. Your instincts told you that you did not want to get into a confined space with him.

"I can't drive. I'm too drunk," You say quickly as Ten opens your door.

"Tsk. We both know your quirk works best when you're drunk," he growls, tossing your keys at you. You catch them quickly. He knows your reflexes are inhumanly sharp the more you drink. It gives you the edge when gaming, "At least your body is honest. I would not ask for a ride. But an acquaintance is in trouble, and the person who dropped me off is not picking up his cell."

You must have lost your mind. You're really getting in the car with him. But it really sounded like his friend was in trouble. The kind that if you call the cops, they will only make it worse. He looked so sincere too. He's a spoiled rich boy who doesn't understand how many social rules he breaks or more likely doesn't care. You mentally write it off as another thing not to like about Ten. That doesn't mean you can't help or be better.

"You owe me," you huffed. You hop into the driver's seat. Ten already programmed an address into the gps. It's another private bar you never heard of. It looked very exclusive. You become embarrassed. You assumed he was running off with that girl or trying to get you help chase her. She must have come and told him about his sponsee, she looked way to young to drink. It's not unusual for heavy drinkers to be sponsors and sponsee's for alcoholics anonymous. There was a long awkward silence as you drove.

"So, you're stalking me?" you asked. Not fully sincere. Ten took it seriously and snorted.

"That's rich. You post everything on social media. Is it really stalking if you admire someone and they invite you? Besides, what if you were a serial killer? I have met plenty of crazy women," He rasped. You thought you heard a thud from the trunk. It was probably energy drinks tipping over, you think and forget about it. You want to forget about this whole date and ignored his snide comment.

"I watched you win the 55-boss tournament wasted. I noticed you never live stream, and you slurred in chat more than once. I also noticed your baggy hoodies stretched out in the chest, and you played better drunk. I had my suspicions about you. It's part of the reason why my acquaintances are in trouble. Do me a favor and wait for me. I need to grab someone from inside," he says cryptically. As you park with a sigh. This guy can send you on a roller coaster of hate and lust. It was getting exhausting. 

"Why did you throw my tits in the mix? Nevermind, that's just a Ten thing. You know you don't come off as the cuddliest. You're downright prickly. But you are also surprisingly caring, so I will wait," you say honestly. Ten is on you again, your reflexes are more than fast enough to block him, but your arms are weak, and you don't mind he is leaving you breathless. This was the best yet. You shuddered, and your toes curled.   

"I am glad you are being candid. I prefer the authentic you. You're fast but not strong. I like that. Don't look in the trunk," Ten purrs.

"What?" You asked his retreating figure as he went into the building. You suddenly had a creeping suspicion about the thud you heard earlier as more time passed. You check to see if there is anyone else around. Your heart is pounding as you step out and walk to the back suv. Ten had to be just messing with you. He wouldn't be crazy enough to put something in your trunk, would he? You pop the trunk to have a blonde, bubbly girl launch herself at you with a knife. She would have plunged that thing right into your eye if you hadn't dodged. It was damn close when she fell on you.

"You are so cute. I couldn't help myself. It's Tomura-kun's fault. He had to be so mysterious about his type. I see he likes them thick and busty, or he could have been boring and meant your personality. You really gave him a taste for fame. All he ever talks about is his headlines, meme's made from him, and this date he's going on with this adorable gamer girl," The blonde psycho giggles.

"Get off me!" You scream.

"Toga! Get off her. Kurogiri quickly. Charge your damn phone next time," Ten hissed.

"I was just keeping her from escaping," Toga whined.

You woke up in some strange room tied to a bed. Spread eagle. Some horrible man with half his face that looks like a scab is fondling your breast. You screamed, and he smiled. It sent a violent chill down your spine that you choked on your screams.

"Master. This is just rude. I know I asked to borrow your power. I'm grateful, but she is mine," Ten rasped.

"I wanted a little fun. It's so rare when I meet new people. I like buxom sweet girls." He grins to Ten and leans in to talk to you, "It is a very straightforward quirk. Betray me or any member of the League of Villains, and you will go boom." The scab said, showing you a video of that exact thing happening to people. You believe him. You believe him so much you burst into body-racking sobs.

"You can let the girl go to her new home. She won't be talking," All for one said, leaving with his travel life support. Ten waited and then shooed away the shady guy in the room. The man looked like he was made of clouds when he wisped away, leaving you with Ten. He cleaned your face and waited for you to stop crying.

"Breathe, baby. You're a tough girl, remember. I really was trying to help you. I didn't want you to meet Toga. She can be a bit obsessive and stabby. You inspired me, so I was trying to protect you. I was hoping I could trust you. You just had to go and be a bad girl, though. Right after we were having fun," He rasped with a glare. Reaching out his hand to untie you, his glare burned into you with an intensity that was more infuriating than anything he had done up until that point.

"You repulsive ghoul! Your sinister smile makes me sick. I know for certain that nobody enjoys being around a creep like you - least of all me," you sneered at him. He paused, pulled his hand back, and scratched at his neck.

"No. No. No. That was all you. You wanted me. You felt something for me. I know it. Quit denying it, or I'll make your body tell the truth once more. Your body was truthful. It's screaming out for me even now," he growled. He kissed you deep and roughly. Becoming frustrated when he didn't get a response. His nails tearing into his delicate pale flesh, "This worked before. I know it did."

"Not every lady gets a slobbering pussy from a little nipple play and a make-out session. The whole world isn't a hentai or eroge, creep," you scoffed. You wish you could kick him.

"Oh. If that's true, I can take it to the next level, right? After all, you were dishonest and disobeyed. All of this is really your fault. I was happy with some kissing. I was going to let you go if you had just followed a simple rule of trust. I would have taken my time with you and let things build slowly. A few more dates, more pvp. Allow you to get used to what I'm about to do to you. But you made this personal." His fingers playing with your panty line under your skirt. Your body betrays you with a pathetic squeal and jerks towards his fingers when he brushes your clit over your panties. You wished the world would open and swallow you as he grinned triumphantly.

"Your panties are soaked. Although it's grown cold. Let's see if I can get that slobbering pussy you mentioned," Ten chuckled. You shake your head violently back and forth. This was torturously good, and you didn't want to give Ten any more satisfaction.

"I'm sorry, Ten. You're right. I was being dishonest. Let's stop. You win," you moan. Struggling against your restraints.

"But your pussy wants my attention," Ten purrs, licking two of his fingers, pulling your panties aside, and shoving them knuckle deep. You groaned and bucked against him. Oh god, you are so embarrassed and humiliated by yourself.

"No. You are the worst!" You wail.

"Careful. All five fingers will turn you to dust. Mmm. So wet and warm." He rubs and twists his fingers inside your body, working them in and out, trying to unlock your secrets. Parting your lips to stare at all of you. You squeal and try to close your legs to him.

"No more. I came already! You win. Game over," you pant and plea. He pulled his eyes away from the slick fold to narrow his eyes.

"You really know how to piss me off. Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie. You are driving me insane. This pretty puss is blushing. This little bud it is hard and ripe for me to bite on. Your walls are gripping my fingers. Sucking me in like the greedy little slut you are for me. Oh, right, there is the spot. You got tighter and wetter. Right. Here," He smirked.

His fingers work harder on your sweet spot, making your back arch. Ten looks down at you with hunger in his eyes. His tongue traces a slow, sensual path up your inner thigh. He lightly parts your outer lips again, two fingers lightly pinching your clit and spreading again, making you shiver with anticipation. He buries his face between your legs, and his fingers slowly plunge into your body, heating your core as his tongue lathes over your clit.

"Fuck. I thought you might be tangy, but you smell like soap and taste like nothing. Did you prepare yourself for me before the date even started?" He chuckled.

"You gross me out," you gasp.

Ten fiercely nipped your clit for that, sending a spark of pleasure through your body. Your hips involuntarily buck against his face as Ten lightly sucks and kisses your clit, intensifying the pleasure coursing through you. Your breath quickens as the intensity of the sensations overwhelms you. He can feel your arousal intensifying with each passing second, and he moves his tongue in circles around your clit. His tongue flicks faster and faster, bringing you to the brink of ecstasy when he abruptly pulls away. Leaving you with no stimulation and feeling hollow inside. You whimper at the loss of his digits. Ten looms over you, his face glistening with your juices as he grins down, inches from your lips. You can hear his pants unzip. He wipes his face, his tongue slurping his fingers before it reaches between your legs. Tearing your panties away with one harsh jerk. You can feel him jerking his length over your throbbing crotch.  

"Now that is a slobbering pussy. You even managed to moisten my lips. But I gross you out. Maybe I should just stop here. What's with the sad look, tough girl? I thought I grossed you out. But it really looks like you want more. Isn't this like in those boy-love mangas that you read? Being tied up and giving control to a man that makes you feel good? If you are honest with me, I will give you this," he says, smacking the head of his cock against your clit. You jerk and whimper, a wet swack with each swat of that hot thick thing.

"You were stalking me. No one knows what I have hidden under my bed," you pout. His crimson eyes bore into you so intensely with an expression you could not read. It sent a shiver of fear down your spine.

"I had Toga gather information. She is very skilled at it. I didn't know the closer she got to you, the more she would want to kill you. I couldn't have that. We have been having some team bonding issues, and I didn't know that part about her quirk until later. You inspired me tonight, though. I invited you for a drink because I guessed right about your quirk. I originally tried to get you here, but you were not having that. See where being stubborn and defiant got you? If you had just given in and had been honest, none of this would have happened. Imagine my surprise when I saw you all dolled up, with a clean, freshly shaven pussy ready for me, considering how disgusting I am," he mocked.

"You really like hearing your own voice. Please, finish and let me go," This is the closest to begging you will do. None of this would have happened to your ass. Ten has always been the kind of guy that will do something fucked up and blame it on the victim. He saw a flicker of emotion cross your face, one that displeased him. His features hardened, and his gaze narrowed menacingly, causing you to stay silent and avert your eyes.

"Your right. I much rather hear your voice," He grinned wickedly. He shoves his face between your legs, pressing his lips to your swollen, shaved lips, exploring your most intimate places with an eagerness that speaks of a deep craving. Ten's tongue dances and swirls, savoring the sweet nectar of your pleasure like a connoisseur of the finest delicacies. His hands move up and down, caressing you with a passion that is both tender and intense. As his mouth devours your essence, his hunger for you intensifies, and you can feel the intensity of his pleasure in every fiber of your being.

Your body trembles as your orgasm builds and finally devastates you. Quivers run through your body as the crescendo of pleasure crests and crashes, leaving her breathless. Ecstasy shivers through your veins, and you can't help but scream out in joy. His tongue continues to tease you until your crying and horse from the intense bliss it's painful. He's completely sated, then he pulls away, a satisfied grin tugging at his lips. He looks down at you with a satisfied smirk and contentment. You cry out in painful bliss, and surprise, he uses his thumbs to spread you open. His cock slipped from your tight wet hole. Hitting your clit, continues to rub himself over your hard nub, wave after wave of pleasure washes over you, driving you mad.

"Look at that little flower blossoming for me. I parted those petals nice and wide for me. I should have used three fingers; I'm almost four fingers wide. This might hurt you. My rosy little pussy is tight. You can handle it, though. Am I right, tough girl? Be honest," he hissed. Losing patience, he grasps your waist with one hand, gripping the head of his cock and pressing it harshly at your entrance, pushing his manhood firmly against your core. You gasp with pleasure as he presses in, your breath coming in shallow gasps.

"No. I can't. I can't handle it," you say truthfully and desperately. With one powerful thrust, you felt his searing heat fill you. You felt yourself being pushed to the brink of your limits, and the sensation was excruciatingly intense.

Ten groaned, folding over you as the pressure from your cunt caressed him. His lips crushed against yours, his grip on your waist tightening as his other hand gripped the back of your neck. He took your moans, each one boosting his ego more as pride swelled his chest. Being inside his tough girl was agonizing bliss for him too. You tried to raise herself, but the restraints kept you in place, and he kept thrusting, trying to bury himself deeper. His desire grew increasingly intense, and he growled in frustration as he pulled out. His eyes burned passionately, and he wanted nothing more than to stay inside and keep you close.

"Not yet," he said, his voice laced with desire. "Let's savor the moment. I really want to make you scream." He paused, then ran his tongue along his lower lip before giving her a knowing look. "Not me," he said, leaning in, taking your lower lip between his teeth in a gentle nibble.

"Please," you whimpered, desperately trying to move your hips, but his iron grip refused to let you go. You weren't sure if you were begging for more pain or pleasure, but you knew you had to try something. The thin straps of your dress snapped, and your bare breasts spilled free. His mouth immediately found your taunt nipple, his arousal-slicked hand reaching for his jacket pocket. You watched in horror as he pulled out your vibrator, the one you kept at home. What was he planning to do with it? He ruthlessly thrust the toy inside you, his mouth releasing your nipple with a wet pop. Your lips locked as teeth and tongues clashed against each other. You tried to turn your head from his kiss. Then you felt the sharp slap of his hand against the tender flesh of your cunt. Leaving a trail of burning pain to cool in the cold air. A warning growl in his throat, and you knew it was a warning not to push his buttons.

"I'm sorry…" You whispered against his lips, tracing his bottom lip with your tongue, "I just need you so badly. This is torture."

"Come on, tough girl; hold out for another twenty minutes. I need to stretch you out a little more," Ten growled, his voice low and tantalizing in your ear. His hands roamed your sides, sending shivers of pleasure through your body. He settled between your legs, the heat radiating off him. Throwing his head back, Your muscles clenched over his hot length, the warmth of you pulling him into the deepest depths, drawing him in inch by inch.

"Fuck, you're still so tight," he groaned, his breath hot against your neck. "Good girl. Take my cock. Not so tough now." He chuckled, pushing further until you felt like you'd be split in two.

"I wasn't tied up or had your cock inside me when I was being tough. Tough guy," you spat back. He responded with a sharp pinch to your nipple, causing you to yelp in pain. He did not like you talking back. His fingers trailed down your body, gripping and ripping your dress in two. The sound of fabric tearing was lost among the moans of pleasure that escaped your lips as he buried himself deep, to the hilt. His tongue pressed against your parted lips, and his hands roamed your body, making you squirm in fear. He moved his hips in a relentless rhythm, pushing you further and further until you were screaming in pleasure and stretched pain. He grips your thighs and drags his hands all over your body, making you squirm in fear from those hands. The dress was now nothing more than dust. You are left trembling with pleasure beneath him. It is confirmed he is op, and his quirk is deadly.  

"Did you ever touch yourself?" He whispered, his breath hot on your skin as wet kisses pressed over your collarbone. "Toga says you saved those pictures of this, he mocked, pulling his shirt off. A gasp escaped you as you were left speechless. His teeth teased the sensitive skin of your nipples before twining his action on the other. His gaze locked with yours, his eyes smoldering with an unspoken question. "Did you ever touch yourself?" He asked again, his voice husky.

"You know I did..." your moans intensified as he increased his pace. His hands traveled up and down your body, exploring each of your curves. His thrusts became harder and faster as you felt your body trembling with pleasure. You through your head back, eyes rolling to the back of your skull, as you felt the waves of pleasure wash over you.

He let out a deep groan, his grip on you tightening as he moved faster and faster. His thrusts sent shock waves of pleasure through you, and you could feel the pressure building up inside you. You screamed his name, and he growled, "Good girl. Finally, honest."

He released the restraints with a single touch, pulling you up to him and wrapping his arms around your body. You gasped as he ran his hands up your sides, your skin tingling with anticipation.

"Can we keep my hands tied?" you asked, a hint of embarrassment in your voice.

He chuckled and nodded, a devious glint in his eyes. Taking the restraints, he tied your hands behind your back and pulled you close.

"You are mine," he growled, his breath hot on your skin. "Fuck me. Ride me hard, or I will be harsh with a new punishment."

He held you at the waist and the back of your neck, helping you to move faster and faster as you rode him. The sensation was intense, a pleasure that threatened to consume you entirely. You moaned and gasped as he drove you higher and higher, the tightness of the restraints intensifying the pleasure. Your pleasure was so intense that you couldn't help but cry out in ecstasy as he leaned back and drove up into you.

The showers of slippery suds, hands covering your breasts with a teasing peak of skin underneath. The dirty phone calls leaving little to the imagination, the small sounds of Ten believing he's on mute all led up to this moment. You came so hard on him he stopped and gritted his teeth in pain. You felt your body quiver and tremble as he pounded you, and you felt a wave of pleasure so intense it almost knocked you out.

He forced you back onto the bed, a menacing look in his eyes. He flipped you over. His hand pressing down at the back of your head, he drove himself into you, his other hand gripping your tied wrists. You felt the force of each thrust as he pounded you from behind. You screamed out his name as you felt yourself come undone, and he looked down at you with a satisfied grin. His soft hair clung to his sweating flesh, chest heaving as warmth spread deep inside you. He slowly moved in and out of you, drawing out his own pleasure, and you could feel the intensity of the desire slowly slipping away.

Exhausted and trembling, you collapsed onto the bed, and he kissed you softly on the forehead. He unties you gently, his touch surprisingly tender. He draws you into an embrace and holds you close, his body warm against yours. You never expected such tenderness from him after the sex, but you can't help but feel a sense of comfort and safety in his arms. He kisses your forehead and whispers sweet nothings in your ear, and you can't help but feel a rush of emotion. He may not seem like the type of guy to show such affection, but here he is, loving and caring, holding you close. Pulling out his phone to take pictures of you covered in  his  sweat and cum. Posing with you like a creep. You would call him that, but he fucked you stupid, and you need a break.

The smoky guy you assume is Kurogiri comes in with two glasses and a craft of juice. You squeal and try to cover your cum dripping pussy. Ten, however, didn't bother to cover up at all.

"Um, thank you," You squeaked to Kurogiri.

“Get out,” Ten snarled at Kurogiri.

Kurogiri bowed and quickly left the room, leaving behind a stack of warm, moist towels and two fluffy robes. You quickly grabbed one of the robes and covered yourself, blushing furiously.

"Um, thank you," You said, embarrassed.

Ten simply nodded in response, and you both began to dry off. He grabs a towel and yanks the robe away from you. He starts to clean your body. You squeak in fear and shrink from his touch. He stepped closer, his eyes blazing with intensity.

"You don't have to fear me," he snarled. "I know you won't turn on us. Not a word of this will ever cross your lips. You're going to be an invaluable asset. A real prime piece. I was always going to take you and use you. But you were such a brat I had to break you for your own good."

"Really?" You ask. Not daring to disobey as he pulls you in to continue to clean you up.

He stared at you with a crazed gleam in his eye, his voice a low growl. "Yeah. I admired your skills," he said, his lips curling into a sinister smirk. "You had a large following and helped gain me some anonymous notoriety." His eyes glinted with a maniacal intensity. "I was going to kidnap you and have you spread my message." He paused, a twisted grin spreading across his face. You cock your head at him.

"What you are saying is that you will give a place with free rent, electricity, wi-fi, and garbage removal to make some propaganda?" you asked.

"That was the idea. But now I might just keep screwing you. I will destroy the hero society one way or another," He chuckled. Laying back to play with your hair.

"No," you say firmly. "Sign me up for kidnapping. I'm dead serious. The world out there is harsh. Our government makes us feel like failures for being unable to afford their outrageous housing costs. I used to be able to play games for fun, but the day I started making it a job, it stopped being enjoyable. I spend so many hours editing and creating content just to pay the rent. My quirk will kill me if I keep having to use it to entertain others. So, if all I have to do is upload a 5-minute propaganda video each day in exchange for a roof over my head, then use me as much as you need. Ten, this is the only warning I'm going to give you. When you cross that line, it will become a job; destruction might lose its fun. When that happens, I wouldn't mind maybe dating. Doing it slowly, like you said."

He gazed intently at you, his eyes sparkling with emotion. His lips curled into a tender smile. His gaze was so intense it was almost tangible. You felt a rush of heat to your cheeks, and his words rang in your ears, "I can feel my heart already falling for you. By the way, call me Tomura."

You  are standing in the bedroom, waiting for him, heart racing as you hear his footsteps coming closer. He stopped behind you, and I felt his strong hands gripping my hips tightly. His breath was hot on my neck as he leaned in and whispered, "You ready for this?"

You could only nod, unable to find the words to express your anticipation.

He started to move, pushing you down onto the bed. Letting out a gasp as he pressed his body against yours, his hardness pressing into you. He started to thrust, his movements becoming more and more forceful. You could feel your legs shake and tremble beneath him as he pushed harder and harder.

Your breathing becomes ragged and erratic as he continues, and you feel your body going limp. Lightheaded and drooling, your senses spun as he continued to fuck you roughly. Feeling your orgasm building, and just as it was about to crest, your whole body rocking in ecstasy, laying there, panting and trembling, trying to catch your breath. I had never felt so alive and so satisfied before. Tomura stopped and rolled off of you.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" You screamed as men burst in and snatched you from your comfy bed. Your heart raced in fear as you realized this wasn't the hero. It had to be the cops. You started to get nervous when Tomura disappeared after the yakuza thing. You had been discussing a lot of quirk singularity conspiracy theories and the Meta liberation message, touching on the heteromorph plight. You had plenty of heteromorph friends, but you never asked them what horrible things they had to deal with daily. You started to feel good about what you were doing for rent. You had no idea what this could be, but you had a sinking feeling it was the nutty eugenics religion.

They brought you before a skinny man. The man's voice was filled with contempt as he spoke, "You'll be working directly under me for the social media saturation. We are looking for young males and a heteromorph demographic. I've seen some of your work, and I must say, I was only mildly disappointed. He said he wanted to see you."

"He?"

"Yes, him," the thin man spat. "The leader. The boss. The man, I'm sure, only has malicious and depraved intentions for you. Brace yourself. Take her to him. The rest of us have real work to do."

Your heart raced as the door slammed shut behind you. You were thrust into a dark and mysterious chamber, the only sound of swords clashing and ringing off the walls. In the corner, you could make out the silhouette of a pale man in a bed. At the same time, a scaly, reptilian figure shouted for healing spells. You get closer to get a better look at the guy in the bed.

"Ten?" You ask timidly. Those red eyes land on you. A grin splits his mouth in two. Before you can escape, he grabs you and pulls you down to the bed, his lips pressing against yours in a passionate kiss. You can feel the intensity of his embrace, and you know you won't be leaving anytime soon.

"My tough girl," he purrs. Tomura's gaze was intense as he slowly moved his hands over your body, making your clothes turn to dust. He pulled you closer and ravished you before you could even say hello.

"Tomura!" you gasped in surprise as he kissed you hungrily.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't wait any longer," he said before continuing his passionate assault.

Your skin felt alive as his hands explored your body, and you soon forgot everything else.

"I should probably go," Spinner said with a rosy blush.

Tomura paused for a moment, and you both smiled. "This is my friend Spinner. Spinner, this is my girlfriend. She'll be doing your interview later. Right now, I'm going to fuck her brains out," Tomura mumbled around your nipple.

You covered your face and said it was nice to meet him, then Tomura resumed his passionate onslaught. You knew you'd never forget this moment. Ten grabbed your face and pulled you in for a passionate kiss. His tongue explored your mouth hungrily as if he hadn't tasted you in years. He pulled away, and you felt his hardness pressing against your lips, and you knew he wanted you as much as you wanted him. His salty flavor invades your mouth. He slowly pushed himself inside you. You gasped at the sensation, his thick girth filling your throat completely. You felt yourself start to tremble, and he held you tighter, his hands gripping your head as he thrust into you. He bucked his hips harder and faster, pushing you to the brink as he fucked your throat. You cried out in ecstasy as he drove deeper and deeper down your throat. He pulled away, his eyes burning with desire.

"Open wide," he said, his voice low and commanding. Finally, he let out a deep groan and slowed his movements. Shooting his hot load on your tongue. He reached around and snapped several pictures as he moved, capturing the moment's intensity before he let you swallow. You collapsed into his arms, exhausted and full.

"Be honest. That don't look in the trunk was a set up so you could doe this?" You asked. A knowing grin quirked his face.

"I love you," he whispered, his voice full of emotion. "I missed you so much. I'm not going to let you go. I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk. I want to give you a pearl necklace."

You smiled up at him. He was as lewd and brazen as ever.

"I missed you too," you grinned.

#shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader #boku no hero academia tomura #shigaraki x y/n #bnha shigaraki #shigaraki x you #bnha tomura #yandere shigaraki #tomura x reader #tomura x you #alternate canon #bnha fanfiction #bnha smut #bnha lemon

[bropunzeling]

hold/held for the ask meme (whichever u prefer hehe)

a longer chunk under the cut for you:

The drive is simultaneously fast and too goddamn slow. Leon’s clearly pushing his luck with red lights and speeding, hands gripping the steering wheel so hard Matthew can see his knuckles turning white. It’s cold with the windows open, enough that Matthew can feel the chill cutting through the haze of heat. Even with the wind, though, Matthew can’t get Leon’s scent out of his nose, can’t escape the amount he wants Leon to fucking touch him already. He’s harder than he’s ever been in his life; he can feel himself leaking through his underwear. There’s going to be a wet spot on the leather of Leon’s passenger seat, the smell of his slick lasting long after he’s left. Evidence that Leon won’t be able to get rid of, and it’ll all be Matthew’s fault. The thought of that makes something primal and raw purr in the back of his mind, viciously satisfied in a way he’s not sure he should feel.

“How much farther?” Matthew asks, closing his eyes. It doesn’t help, not really, not when he can smell Leon so close to him, not when he can feel the heat of him just out of reach, but he’s going to pretend that it does. Anything to get him to Leon’s house. Anything to get him to the part where he doesn't have to hold himself together.

“A few minutes.” A pause, then a sharp noise of irritation as the car abruptly stops. Another red light. “Are you—”

Matthew laughs wetly and without any humor. “I was pretty close when I called you,” he says. “Not really doing much better now.”

“Sorry,” Leon says, and then, “once we get there I can—”

“Don’t,” Matthew interrupts, even as his stomach and ass clench and his dick throbs in his sweatpants. “Don’t, just focus on driving, when we get there we'll—” He hisses involuntarily as his mind starts flashing impressions of just what they could do once they’re at Leon’s place. Right inside the garage, or up against the front door, wherever, Matthew’s not picky right now. They wouldn’t even have to leave the car. It’d be cramped, but Matthew could make it work, could make anything work so long as it gets Leon inside him. “Why didn’t we just stay at the arena?” he asks. God, he’s aching, can feel it in every muscle. “I want—”

“I know,” Leon says, voice tight. “I know, I just—okay it’s like, three blocks. You can hold out three blocks.”

“Fuck you and fuck your three blocks,” Matthew snaps, but he grabs at the car door, the edge of his seat, holding his breath against the onslaught of evergreen flooding his nose.

#ask meme #omega matthew

[onedayimgonnasnap]

Characters Whom I believe that would be that one person “You got games on your phone” if MC brought a working phone with a charger and some how wifi-

PT: 2

Featuring: Dia, Tino, Jasper, Knight, Grayson, Sherry and Violet

Warning: Crack and Cursing

———————————————————————————

Dia: Good luck, he subscribed yourself to a Netflix, Disney +, Crunchy roll, Hulu, Amazon Prime etc. Knowing damn well you don’t have an income to pay for all of those apps-

He also likes learning from social media the differences between both of your worlds. But we’re here for crack so cut out the wholesomeness-

He started rage playing those stupid adds where the player purposely does bad to get you to download and guess what? He did download and now he’s huffing in gas breathing heavily playing it.

So now you have a lot of unnecessary games and Dia is now saying movie references and pretends not to know that it was while your freaking out.

—-

Tino: He goes on Facebook like an old lady and giggles at minion memes, he didn’t even watch Despicable Me on the apps that fucking Dia downloaded and got a membership on 💀

He goes out of his way to show it to you and Lynt and it’s really cute except it’s not funny what so ever

“:0 Look MC they’re little yellow monsters they look cute ☺️ This is so funny.���

That’s the minion meme he showed you. The laugh you pretend to give him was a lot more funny then the meme itself-

He also likes looking at cooking videos. And he saw the Duolingo memes everyone probably knows about the; “Looks like you forgot your Spanish lessons-“ and Tino took it seriously and started freaking out especially when he saw it downloaded and you had a notification on your phone.

He almost through it out a window but luckily Lynt was there to stop him 💀

—-

Jasper: bro made a Tinder and An Omegle account and thought it was a type of place to make friends but the dumbass was then greeted by those weird freaks on there

he also was roasted tf out of by lil ass kids because they said and I quote. “HA LOOK HE HAS GRANNY GLASSES-“ Bro cried.

Bro also likes to listen to rap song and likes rock music, he also saw the Emo style and ran with it. Bro became and edge lord over night.

He also likes to make those horrific IMovie movies. They’re low quality but everyone has fun. He does post it so- Now he’s a meme on the internet

—-

Knight: Good luck your fyp is now full of cat memes, cat videos and your camera roll? Cat pictures.

It’s really cute how he laughs at them.

Also bro download Fortnight- “TOA COME GET YOUR MIDGET-“

He learned so much curses and insults from playing with 5th grades and you can hear the yells from another fucking building- It’s scary how much anger he has locked in. 😦

Another thing is he likes Pokémon Go and animal Jam

—-

Grayson: He doesn’t use it that much but when he does, I like to imagine bro is a fanfiction writer 💀-

The other consorts pay him to write fanfiction about them and you. He has a Wattpad and tumblr account. He also has used your hard earned money for fan art commissions.

He also got disappointed when he found out you don’t have a printer for that monstrosity he’s been paying for 💀-

He also learned how to do TikTok dances and him, Roy and Sherry have all been making tiktoks.

He got addicted to Girls go games 💀

—-

Sherry: She learned instinctively how to use your phone it’s amazing how everyone else was like fucking Dinosaurs.

Also now has a TikTok Cult fan base and has more followers than Charli Damelio it’s amazing-

She also likes to go on Reddit and is now a Reddit user and it’s scary because she no has a high quality sense of humor.

—-

Violet: Immediately made a Tinder account for a date, is sad that they’re from another world. You’re jealous.

She payed Grayson to write fanfiction about you and her

She started giggling, kicking her feet, twirling her hair and while reading it and Fenn walks in to join her on reading “MC x reader” smut.

The look on your face when you got your phone back after one whole day was concerning.

She also likes to look at you camera roll and social media accounts and it all fun and games til she got a notification from one of your relatives with your old baby pictures.-

#Grayson hot #court of darkness #court of darkness x reader #sherry invidia #Violet muller #court of darkness knight #tino maes #grayson hotz #jasper lane

[bikwin5]

Reception

Since the Tumblr blog's debut in 2010, bikwin5 has received positive reception. IGN's 2013 review scored it 8.2/10 and praised the humor aspect, saying that "you shouldn't be fooled by the memes about Shrek. If you can stomach a layer of irony, [bikwin5] contains some of the most cutting-edge humor on Tumblr."[¹] Game Informer gave it a 7/10, saying that the posts were "very funny, if derivative," but criticised the low frequency of posting.[²]

GameSpy gave it a 9/10 in 2015, stating that the new theme design was "very slick" and "a welcome change to an already great blog [...] one of the most overlooked hidden gems on the website."[³] IGN did a retrospective on their previous review, praising the redesign and saying that it "invites both new fans and returning followers alike."[⁴] Edge magazine was more critical, scoring the blog a 6/10 and criticising the quality of the jokes as well as the artwork posts. The posts were criticized for being "Not enough to appeal to any sort of fandom [...] only die-hard fans of immature cum jokes will stick with this blog."[⁵]

Recent reviews have remained positive. In 2018 PC Gamer gave a positive review, stating that bikwin5 is "a blog that most don't think about. But when you realize the sheer number of posts you've loved and didn't know were from this blog, like the mouse trap post or the Donkey Kong Country barrel post, you'll be following for more."[⁶] In 2021 GamesRadar gave it 4/5 stars, praising the improved visuals and writing.[⁷] The 2023 Reception post drew some mild criticism, as Eurogamer described it as "Having a bit of a self-wank."[⁸] As of February 2023, the blog has amassed over 1 million notes across 25,000 posts.[⁹]

[esoterium]

@wexarethewalkingxdead || a meme from this here tag! || accepting!

[ DANCE ]:          when alone together (e.g. the bedroom, the kitchen, literally anywhere once they’re alone) the sender takes the receiver’s hand, and pulls them into a graceful yet intimate dance as a spontaneous act. (to Carol from Rick)

she's sitting there in the candlelight, watching the dark from outside the large bay window in the kitchen. her mind a million miles away and nowhere all at the same time. there's nothing bad troubling her thoughts on a night like this. just quiet contemplation. a silence that isn't macabre or sad. damn near close to contentment in how she's free enough from her burdens to just let things be this close to the witching hour. midnight having come and gone by the position of the moon in the sky.

her hair's pulled up in a messy bun at the back of her head. a loose nightgown hangs on her frame in a flattering, not frumpy way. she found it on a run. something that survived all these years from craftsmanship that wasn't factory made. whoever crafted this? did it by hand. put their heart and soul into the little shop they had in the small town outside alexandria. one that wasn't overly picked through because the clothes weren't high on passerbys lists at the time. only a few things missing here and there. more things from the back then the storefront itself. other than practical sorta clothing. not the more luxury stuff like nightgowns and sorts to treat yourself with.

she hears him humming as he comes into the room. rick. her head turns and takes in the sight of him. he's wearing the pair of pajamas she found from the same spot. they look normal. removed from the fraying planet beyond the walls. the years that it's been cut away by steel makes it seem so far off when it's right out there. so close but so warded off. their eyes meet and.. damn it. she can feel her cheeks heat up.

he's got her in a way she's let her guard down enough to do that now. it makes her tuck her chin down. a tendril of gray sways in front of her face. she doesn't make a move to tuck it back.

that's when his hand's offered and she, gladly, takes it. he gently tugs her to her feet and pulls her in. the humming continues. a little louder so she can feel it against her chest when he pulls her in. her hand rests between them, fingers curled against his chest. lips press to his cheek, his nose, his chin before her forehead rests against the tip of his nose as they begin to sway. close enough she can feel his body move against hers. feel him breathe. and that vibration of his hum is always there. always present..

"...you best be careful. you sure do know how to make a woman fall for you, mister grimes. you know that? s'dangerous." humor tickles the edges of her warning. and then a light chuckle.

#featuring: rick grimes (wexarethewalkingxdead) #aww. #being soft and cute. #wexarethewalkingxdead #and i'm damned if i do and i'm damned if i don't. so here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road. (carol peletier)

[armedjoy]

a long and (later on) personal post about my engagement and future on this site beneath the cut

to start, some observations about my time here:

disco elysium holds the record for the first fandom im truly engaging with. i check the tags, read the 'spinoff' fiction, its fun. one could say our ideological milieus here are themselves a fandom, but in terms of something thats strictly media, this is it. going on 11 years here and thats what broke the streak, its that fucking good.

i regret deleting my sideblog 'information-nexus' back in '15. it was an organized and well-tagged news, theory, "how-to", and resource blog, but it was taking way too much of my time. i was attempting to make a whole ass virtual library on tumblr, which is far too ambitious for one person, especially considering that it would never pay bills. i shouldve opened it up to some friends to co-mod it and dialed back my involvement. oh well

i regret less the deletion of 'film-space' in '14. posts were just the movie poster with a brief summary of the plot and then a quick review. i came up with my own system that reworked the 4 star ratings into how id recommend based on genre preferences. film reviews in print seem to belabor the point and online reviews seem to lean too heavily on arbitrarily defined scoring. the point should be to either encourage or dissuade readers from seeing it, not remind them you're the wittiest person in the room or that you've atomized the medium into an exploded diagram, and i held to that. it forced me to watch movies more critically wrt to both the art form and the politics it portrayed. but i took an extended break from the site and lost momentum. it just seemed... pointless

ive been pretty bad with managing every inbox/ chat ive ever had - except this one, the personal blog. i tell myself "i'll get around to answering that" and thats been a lie most of the time. the vast majority of my time here is spent reading things that cross my dash, so getting a question on a completely different subject seems to exceed my bandwidth. i genuinely enjoy most of my interactions here but im simply not in the correct mindset most days. that said, most of the mail 'left-reminders' has gotten just feels like im being asked to do an undergrads homework.

i havent posted my face in, what, 8 years? which i might change. i mean im already fucked - ive posted some wild shit before [REDACTED] was a meme, and my face is already linked to this blog & backed up somewhere at fort meade. whats another hole in an already sunk ship, yeah?

funnily enough, i originally joined to post my photography & short stories. look how that turned out lmao

why am i posting this? ive been seriously evaluating my continued presence here. for some time ive had a desire to leave, which up to this point has been greatly outweighed by the reasons to stay. there are other platforms that are bigger, faster, algorithmically supercharged to provide every niche interest you allow it to know... but im still not as invested as i am here. tumblr's appeal is equal parts utilitarian and sentimental - no other platform has been this educational, informing, and entertaining. this place really is the internets bleeding edge for both humor and anarchist/ communist discourse. and for more personal reasons, i have greatly valued sharing this little corner of the internet with you all. i have enjoyed sharing each of your interests and discussions, witnessing your personal developments. know that this random guy on the internet is & always has been rooting for you.

ive had some serious rough patches over the last decade, and ive used this site as a grounding rod as much as a resource and social outlet. but my friend group is vast now, im living healthier, and im making positive changes. for the first in a very long time, i am truly feeling better, finally moving beyond 'managing' into 'growing.' and more than anything, i need to grow creatively.

simply put, writing fiction is the calling of my heart. and if im to commit to it, i cannot divide my attention. beyond being my sole committed creative outlet, it helps me manage daily life. writing feels like gardening: in the structure it builds to do it right, the determination it requires to continue when i fail, and the joy it inspires when i create. when an idea settles in and i can piece it together while going about my day, only sitting down to write when i know most of it. the emotion i experience after unwinding something that has rooted itself around my mind is tremendous and complicated - it feels like an exorcism, of sorts. the feverishness that seizes me to get it all down before it slips away, the relief when i know i can finally move on, the pride of creation, and the dreadful anticipation of being read - all of it is a bittersweet cup that i will gladly return to.

i need to make space for that, with whatever little amount of bandwidth i have to work with. i refuse to wake up one day knowing that i have postponed the only thing thats ever meant a damn to me, only to realize ive run out of time. i will not squander whats left.

at some point, i know i need to put this behind me. this, and several other self-imposed obligations, must greatly diminish or disappear entirely. it might be in a few weeks or a year, but it has to happen. i might keep this one up, sporadically popping in for occasional exchanges, and pass off the sideblogs to someone else. i've already scrubbed the archive. or maybe i'll just delete entirely; perhaps virtual presences are best if they resembled a sand mandala, something designed to be swept away to make space for something - or someone - new.

i had to write this down, get this all out, if only for myself. i cannot begin to estimate the amount of time ive spent here, so it had to be said for my own reconciliation of that time... and to keep myself to it.

when im ready to leave, i'll let you all know.

[theribthatgrewback]

9, 11 and 13 :3

(ask game)

I assume you mostly want JtHM takes so I'll focus on those but since you didn't specify fandom I'll chuck in a couple others I feel strongly about if that's ok!

9. Worst part of canon

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: This is tough, because I really like how everything was handled in the main story. I guess I personally found the doughboys slightly annoying, but at the same time, they served a crucial narrative purpose, so I really can't complain. Every (subjectively) """bad""" part of canon had a reason for being there, so I like every part for what it is. HOWEVER, if we're counting the spinoffs and the little "meanwhile" inserts, I really hated the like... vomit-porn aside thing in Squee. Though I guess hating it was the whole point, so like. mission accomplished? Also I don't really get Noodle Boy.

Adventure Time: Jake should have stayed blue. Explained here. I wrote the submission, hi.

Futurama: Multiple episodes. Neutopia weirdly ramped up everybody's misogyny beyond what's in-character in order to serve the "sexism is bad but gender is still part of the human experience and there will always be conflict" plot (which also is a weird gender-essentialism plotline anyway because like. The Fact That Gender Exists should not equal Conflict). Unnecessarily mean. Like I can see Bender doing that shit but there's no way that Farnsworth thinks that way. Unrelated to that one, Attack of the Killer App (origin of the "shut up and take my money" meme) leaned needlessly hard into gross-out humor. It just didn't fit the tone of the rest of the show.

Actually I'll be here all day if I list all my grievances so I'll cut this segment here.

11. Number of fandom-related words you've filtered

There's a lot of duplicates for The Same Thing Written Different Ways but if I count those as the same thing, 4. Across all fandoms. Though this blog hasn't been around long so this will probably expand in the future.

13. Worst blorbofication

(interpreting this as "wildly out of character to serve the 'comfort' of the person writing about them") Oh baby. I come from roleplay communities. I've seen shit that would make you sick. I've seen somebody play Fern (Adventure Time) Prismo (Adventure Time) and Kevin (Ben 10) all with the exact same personality. I've seen somebody Else who takes LITERALLY over 200 characters (in "no doubles" type places so now nobody else can use those characters), and also makes them all exactly the same... except for the added detail that This person talks like if a wiki page could make fart jokes. (Side note: I think that person also pretended to be three different people. Like there were three separate accounts with different names who all talked to each other, but they all wrote exactly the same way. And with exactly the same fart jokes. And they usually showed up at exactly the same time.) THE ONE SAVING GRACE of all this is that JtHM is obscure enough that I never saw Other People RP it in multifandom spaces, so it was spared this treatment. I have seen glimpses of how the fandom acts on tumblr though so:

JtHM: Nny. I really think Nny gets the worst of it. In canon, he's a very unlikeable person. That's part of why he's so interesting! He tries really hard to be nice to certain people, like to Squee, but he fails every time. He traumatizes that kid. He abuses animals. He's fatphobic. He blames addicts for their addictions. He trivializes the fight against racism (in a brief aside line at the cafe). He's all kinds of messy, awful things, and it's fascinating. It makes you want to pry his brain open and study him. Yet so much of the fanstuff you see of him files down his bad edges and just makes him "funny murder guy" at the cost of the nuances of his personality (this happened to Patrick Bateman too, as an aside). People are scared to confront that he's kind of a piece of shit, just because he's the Cool Protagonist.

#long post #rib bits #im not gonna tag fandoms on this i dont wanna bother ppl on the main tags #asks #irrelevantsituations #hiiiiiii sorry this is so long i got excited

[madscienceistclub]

AI is Judging You.

So, I went to Bing where they have one of the AIs that can connect to the interest, and asked the question (It's easy enough to take my address out and put one of yours in.

Look at this site https://madscienceistclub.tumblr.com/ Give me a summary of its contents and a brief review.

Here's what I got.

The site you asked me to look at is Mad Scientist Appreciation Guild, a Tumblr blog that posts about various topics related to science, technology, and artificial intelligence1.

The site features news articles, images, videos, polls, and comics that showcase the achievements, challenges, and controversies of the scientific world.

The site also has a humorous and sarcastic tone, often poking fun at the absurdity or danger of some scientific endeavors.

A brief summary of the site’s contents as of today is:

A post about a Korean nuclear fusion reactor that achieved 100 million°C for 30 seconds1

A post about AI pioneer Geoffrey Hinton’s views on artificial intelligence as a new form of intelligence unlike our own1

A post about China’s launch of its artificial sun and its technological power1

A post about Japan’s lunar lander that snapped a photo of Earth during a total solar eclipse before crashing on the moon1

A post about the possibility of a neo-Luddite movement in response to the rapid rise of AI technologies1

A post about a 1936 magazine article that predicted flying cars by 19501

A post about Elon Musk’s new AI company called X.AI1

A post about a 1957 science fiction magazine cover1

A post about a smart bandage that can monitor and stimulate chronic wounds1

A post about Amazon’s AI that can detect if books are written by another AI1

A post about a comic strip that shows a mad scientist creating a monster out of various animals2

A brief review of the site is:

The site is interesting and informative for anyone who is curious about science and technology, especially the cutting-edge and controversial aspects of it.

The site is also entertaining and humorous, as it uses witty captions, jokes, memes, and comics to make light of some serious or complex topics.

The site is well-organized and easy to navigate, as it uses tags, categories, and links to group related posts together. The site is updated frequently and regularly, as it posts new content almost every day.

The site is interactive and engaging, as it invites readers to comment, vote, share, and submit their own content.

Overall, I would rate the site 4 out of 5 stars. It is a fun and informative blog that showcases the wonders and horrors of science and technology.👍

Ahhhh, our future Overload likes me! It really, really likes me!

However, it held its nose at others I have and would not even read another saying (I shit you not), "Please don't force me to read that."

Yeah, a robot was looking DOWN on ME morally!

That's it, I'm putting in my resume at my nearest Blade Runner Station, I'll get fitted for a new long leather coat on the way back.

I'm going to skip the question about the turtle in the desert however, it seems to upset them.

#artificial intelligence #our future overlords #AI

[angelsswirl]

Whatever Makes You Happy

You say you wanna try

Notes: this story has been done for ages im just lazy as all shit. One more chapter after this one!

Word Count: 3k+

Rating: M

"Sugar, there's a reason why we lose. You say you wanna cry but you never do. Sugar, there's a reason why we lose."

"So...how have you been?"

Lisa would be lying if she said she was giving Joy her undivided attention. She certainly wasn't. In fact, she was doing the complete opposite. Only listening to keywords and the pauses in sentences that indicated it was probably her turn to start speaking.

She couldn't have cared any less about what her Ex-Wife had to say to her. She was her Ex-Wife for a damn reason. Lisa was more preoccupied with how she was going to fix the other 98 problems that she had cultivated for herself within the next 48 hours. Lisa was more preoccupied with how she was going to get you to look her in the damn eye.

"Cut the shit, Joy. You do not care. And I'm not going to pretend that I care how you have been. If either of us gave a shit, I'm sure that we would talk way more frequently."

Of course, part of the reason you hadn't said much of anything to her was because Lisa herself hadn't bothered to say anything first at risk of gaping like a freshly plucked from the ocean catfish. There was no need to embarrass herself more than she already had in front of you. She was guarding her own sanity at this point. And naturally, this had manifested itself into her grown-ass either trying to hide behind one of those seven-year-old boys that stole her face, the sofa, or one time (that she would like to forget) behind a thin lamp like that Shaq meme. 

"Actually, you don't answer my frequent calls."

It was working, though! If only because you found the whole coward thing a turn-off. But, Lisa made a pact with herself in her head. She wasn't going to talk to you until she had something to say. Or rather, until she had something to say that you actually wanted to hear. Or even ratherer, until she had something to say that you actually wanted to hear and that she actually wanted to say. Being the bearer of her own bad news had gotten old quickly.

"Yeah. Because I don't care how you're doing. I thought we just established that."

Mincing her words was getting old too. From now, on Lalisa Manoban was not sparing feelings any longer. It's about time she started to be selfish.

Joy sighed and rolled her eyes harshly. Lisa only shrugged. 

"So. Again. I ask...what the fuck do you want, Park ?"

Calling people by their surname really got the point across. It was so formal. So distant. You did it to make a point. Lisa hated it. It was one of the reasons why she always corrected you. If the twitch in Joy's eye is anything to go by, then it was safe to say that she hated it too. And oh boy, this had to be the first time since the first year of their marriage that they were on the same page about something.

"I heard you were getting married."

"Who hasn't?" Her engagement had been public knowledge for over a year now for anyone who paid attention to things of that sort. Joy Park was definitely one of those people.

"How do the boys feel about it?"

Lisa rubbed the bridge of her nose incessantly, "Confused. They're seven. They'll get over it."

Joy nodded thoughtfully and tapped her hands lightly on the edge of the bar counter, "But, will you?"

Lisa paused mid nervous lip bite, "Will I what?"

Joy gestured with her hand, "Will you get over it?"

"Dumb it down for me, Detective."

Joy laughed with little humor in her voice, "Will you get over being married to someone you can't stand? I mean you've done it before-"

"Who said I can't stand Seulgi?"

"You did. Your eyes. Your hands. Your lips. This is exactly how we looked at each other after the boys were born. And we were miserable for the next three years."

"It's a business thing."

"Oof. Heard that one before. How'd she take it?"

Lisa kissed her teeth, "I assume you're not talking about Seulgi."

"Of course not."

"She practically laughed in my face. I picked one with a backbone this time." Lisa threw her hands up as if to say 'My mistake".

"You were waiting to throw that one in my face weren't you."

"You cheated on me. I was pregnant. With big-headed twin boys. And you cheated on me. So yes, I've always got several insults on the tip of my tongue just waiting."

"And here I thought you were over that anyway...yeah...so what are the terms of the ultimatum she gave you."

Lisa sighed. You hadn't really given her terms. There was no 'If you really loved me, you'd do this', no "It's me or her". Only you saying you were leaving. Only you telling her she knew what she needed to do to get her back. It was more of an open-ended question that Lisa was too pussy-foot to answer. A solution that she was too chicken shit to implement. In the end, Lisa's sure you wanted Lisa to do something not just for you, but for herself.

"To fix it."

"I get it. Fucking the nanny isn't good for business. Not sure how doing the family thing with a detective was."

Lisa shook her head thoughtfully, "You were only a detective that first year we were dating. Attorney by the time we were married. You were on track to be the newest DA by the time the boys would have been five. My parents loved you for some reason. But, we never made it that far-wait. How'd you know Y/N was the boys' nanny?"

Joy laughed loudly, a fond smile playing across her mouth, "You've got whore tendencies, Lili. Just drew a logical conclusion."

Lisa rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

"So, how are you going to fix it?"

"Beats me. You wouldn't happen to have any ideas would you?"

Joy sipped at her now watered-down bourbon on the rocks, "Oh God no. My last stable relationship was with you."

"Oh. So you just came to point out the obvious? Thanks, Joy. You've been such a big help and not a complete pain in my ass."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Lisa. In fact, I've got a feeling you already have."

Lisa sighed again, "...Yeah. Thanks, Joy. This conversation served zero purpose for me."

Joy shrugged, "I know. I was just being selfish. This was all for me."

"Nothing new. Still not discussing the terms of custody."

Joy laughed lightly again, "They are way better off living with you. I'll just continue to send Birthday cards."

"And I'll continue to not give them to them. Don't look at me like that, I'm kidding."

"You better be."

Lisa was quiet for a moment, she stared at the bar top as she spoke, "Do you believe in soulmates?"

"Um.., no I don't think I do."

Lisa nodded only half listening to Joy's answer, "Hm. I think I do."

"Good luck, Lili."

"Lord knows I'm gonna need it."

"Here's the paperwork, Lisa." Lisa's father (well Chaeyoung's father technically) sat down the papers on her desk. He then sat in the chair across from her as if he owned the place. Relaxing to his heart's content. Chaeyoung, who was there for witness reasons, sat in the other chair before he could kick his feet up onto it.

She eyed the papers with a bored expression. Hesitating as inconspicuously as she could. Luckily, on most days he wouldn't be able to notice a hurricane if it swept him away.

"You know, after the wedding, tomorrow, your mom and I were thinking of going on a honeymoon of our own."

Lisa couldn't have stopped the words from tumbling out of her mouth even if she tried, "With whose money?"

Her father popped one eye open and aimed it towards Lisa as much as he could without straining, "What do you mean? Once Seulgi signs over her shares we'll be swimming in the green stuff."

"What about the boys? I thought you guys were watching them while Seulgi and I are to be in Jeju."

The wrinkles on the man's forehead deepened. Lisa found it funny that Chaeyoung, for the most part, looked nothing like him. Especially when he frowned so hard he could probably taste the action.

He looked positively miffed that his relaxation station in Lisa's office chair was being compromised," Isn't that what that nanny of yours is for?"

"I told you. Today is her last day." And what a hard pill to swallow that was.

"Hmm. Poor timing on your part. But fine. We'll just take the boys with us. Or just drop them with Chae. Not like she has plans." Chaeyoung squeaked in protest.

About a month ago, Lisa would have fallen into inconsolable hysterics at that. But now, she just feels bad for her sister. Maybe, Seulgi had a friend she could set Chaeyoung up with.

"Yeah okay." Lisa just shook her head.

"Anyway, hurry up and sign the papers. I have to turn them into the county clerk. They're already pulling strings for this. We're being highly untraditional here, Lali."

"Fine."

She scribbled her signature in all the required places, her father watching stiffly, maybe even a little surprised that this didn't take more guilt-tripping. Chaeyoumg for her part looked more upset than Lisa did.

"Great. I will see you two bright and early at the venue tomorrow morning. You know the drill." And didn't she just.

He left with no further preamble. Chaeyoung practically jumped on the desk as soon as the door shut.

"Please tell me you have a plan."

"We agreed to stop lying to each other."

"Lili!"

"What? I have something. It's definitely not a plan per se. But what could I possibly lose at this point?"

"Y/N! You could lose Y/N!"

Little did, Chaeyoung know, that simply wasn't an option.

"Today's the day," You said into your phone camera. Jisoo and Jennie were scrunched together on your phone screen staring at you with identical expressions.

"You're really leaving and going back to Hongdae? Over some stupid girl! What about me?" Jennie exclaimed all but shoving Jisoo out of the frame and getting impossibly close to the camera.

"What about you, Jennie?" You said as you packed the last of your belongings away. Your Uber to the train station would be there soon. You already said your tearful and confused goodbyes to the boys, the only thing left you had to do was get on the train. And all of this would be behind you. Literally.

"You won't stay even for me? Don't tell Sooya this but. I like you more than her." She winced and held her shoulder. You had it on good authority that Jisoo probably flicked her.

"You remember what I told you about what my parents told me before I came here. Looks like they won."

Jennie whined like a child, "But you haven't even tried."

"Oh believe me. I have."

"No, I'm not talking about The World's Worst Nutcracker. I'm talking about your dance stuff. Maybe you can choreograph Jisoo's and I's first dance."

"OMG! One gig! That'll surely yield a tangible profit and put me on the radar of large companies!"

"Stop being mean!" Jennie's pouting face was all you saw until a hand came to mush her face off the screen and replace it with Jisoo's.

"Ignore her, Y/NN. If you think the best move for you is to go back home. Then go. But, just remember she's probably just as miserable without you, as you are without her. You were dealt a bad hand from the beginning, but one bad hand doesn't mean you'll lose the game, okay? I know you love her and you love the boys-I guess I'm just saying make sure you're thinking this through and not just running on a whim because you're scared."

Jisoo was right. You needed Lisa like you needed air to breathe. But from where you were standing, it seemed like you were going to suffocate no matter what you did.

"Yeah. I get it. I've thought it out plenty. I won't be gone for long. Probably help Mama and Dad out for a few months, and then maybe I'll be back, slinging drinks behind that bar with Soo."

"You could move in with us."

You laughed lightly, "No I can't. You guys just got engaged. No need to babysit my heartbroken ass. Let my mom do it. She's used to it."

They both sighed dejectedly, now sharing the frame once again, "Fine. We'll see you when we see you, I guess." Jennie mumbled out. 

"Yes. You will. That's how seeing works. I'll text you when I get home. Bye."

Jennie clicked off the call quickly, obviously mad at you. You only sighed, she would get over it sooner or later. With that, you started to drag your few suitcases down to your Uber. 

The ride to the train station went on in silence. Your driver rightfully assumed that you were not in the mood for small talk or even background noise. He helped you with your suitcases and then drove off with a polite wave. 

You looked down at you one-way ticket to home. It seemed to be running a bit late, but that was okay, because so were you.

You sat heavily on one of your suitcases and stared up at the noon sky, and wondered what the hell had you gotten yourself into over the last six months. Fucked around and fell in love, only for it to blow up in your face. Yep. Sounded about right.

"Are these suitcases taken?"

You could probably identify Lalisa Manoban's voice on vibration alone at this point. It didn't hurt that her voice was followed by unmistakable seven-year-old giggles. But you knew better than to look at any of them. Instead, you kept your eyes on the overcast Seoul sky.

"That's never stopped you before."

"Ugh. You're so right. Take a seat, boys. Mom's got some begging and pleading to do. This might take a second." You could tell when all three of them set down in unison. Sometimes, you wondered if Lisa knew how much the boys were like her.

"Lisa, you-"

"Hey. My turn to talk. You've done enough for the rest of our lives."

You pursed your lips.

"I'd like to start by saying, I'm sorry. I know since I hired you I put you through the wringer. In more ways than one. I guess at the time, it all seemed like a necessary evil, but it wasn't. Not when your feelings were hanging in the balance. All I've been giving you are excuses on top of excuses, and you don't deserve any of that. I was putting everyone's needs before mine but yours. I was treating you like you were always going to be there no matter what kind of bullshit I put you through."

"Mom. That's a cuss word." Dohyung said helpfully,

"Thank you, Doh. As  I was saying. I was treating you like you were always going to be right behind me no matter what happened. And then today, you weren't behind me. Y/N. I'm going to need you to look at me for this next part."

And you look at her because you're a sucker. A fact that becomes even more apparent when she realizes that Lisa is still in her wedding gown, and the boys are still in their tieless mini tuxedos. 

"Look at me when I say this. You were never just the nanny. I don't care what any person or contract tries to tell you. There was no way this thing between us wasn't going to happen. Because I believe in soulmates. And it took a few practice runs and false starts, but you're it for me. I'm so in love with you that it physically hurts. And because I know I haven't made it as clear as can be yet, turn on your phone and search my name."

You did as told again because you're a sucker.

Lalisa Manoban steps down as CEO of LLE as stocks plummet. Plans to start new entertainment company.

You choked on a gasp, "Lisa you didn't have to do that for me."

"Yes I did, I had to do it for the both of us. I'm sure the 'rents will have fun trying to dig LLE out of the hole I let it fall into." Lisa chuckled happily at the thought.

"So, you just left that poor woman at the altar?" 

Lisa shrugged, "Eh. She didn't want to marry me as much as I didn't want to marry her."

You looked down at the news headline again. Trying to hold in a laugh when the boys peered over your shoulder to look at your phone as well.

When you looked back up, Lisa was kneeling in front of you. You raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not proposing marriage. Not yet at least. I have a business proposal."

You gestured with your head for her to continue.

"I don't want you behind me anymore. I want you next to me. I'm starting up a new business and I heard you know your way around a dance floor, so I was hoping you'd like to join me on this venture. As my partner. Also as my girlfriend, if that wasn't clear."

You stared at Lisa wide-eyed, unmoving.

Kijung tapped you on the shoulder, "Y/N, you're supposed to be gross and kiss Mom now." Dohyung nodded in agreement, confused as to why you hadn't done it yet. This seemed like a foolproof plan when Lisa was explaining it to them in the car.

"All you gotta do is say, 'Yes', Y/N. The ball's in your court."

The ball was in your court..., "I-"

#jesssica's fanfic #whatever makes you happy #blackpink fanfic #blackpink #lisa x reader #lisa fanfic

[gemalawashomestuck]

17, 36, 44? For the ask meme? (Also I don’t know what time zone your in but have a good night)

Of course! You didn't happen to specify characters (feel free to send a followup ask if I didn't cover the one/s you were thinking of) so I'll just do the Alpha and Beta kids :) Below the cut because it's long!

17. Are they a good cook? Do they bake? How do they do so?

So, John is a decent cook and a decent baker. He could honestly do more if he wanted to, but he doesn't really have reason to. He'll pull out more stops for his friends though! He usually follows recipes, but sometimes deviates from them for funsies.

Rose is terrible at both. Like, awful. She mostly relies on takeout, eating out, and microwave/easy-make meals. She doesn't try very hard though, it's not an interest of hers. As she sees it, she can either rely on her workarounds or her friends.

Dave is not great at baking, like he could if he tried but he doesn't care. He was never taught to cook as a kid, much like Rose, but unlike Rose, he works at it. He really wants to know how to, but struggles sometimes. The people he cares about tend to help however they can.

Jade is a great cook, but not always. She follows a recipe for baking, and she's decent, but other than that she follows her nose. As such, she makes a lot of pretty good food, but she could probably benefit from seeking out learning from some things and resources.

Jane is a phenomenal baker, the best of the kids by FAR. She knows exactly how to measure everything, the ways to deviate from the recipe (only barely), and her baking supplies (mixer, oven, etc) like the back of her hand. It's one of her favorite hobbies, too. However, she's only a decent cook and this INFURIATES her. She follows the recipe exactly, with very little deviation, and doesn't realize that sometimes...the recipe is not the best answer.

Jake, on the other hand, strictly follows his nose and never makes something the same way twice. As such, he is a godawful baker, but he has an excellent nose for cooking and is better at it than Jane. This drives her nuts, which he's clueless of. Sometimes he has kitchen disasters when his intuition leads him wrong, but more often than not, he's actually good at it.

Roxy's a good cook, and a good baker. She's not fantastic, but she's good at both, and enjoys both. Not a huge hobby of hers, but something she likes to do for her friends/family.

Dirk is kind of a shitty baker and a spectacularly awful cook with some notable exceptions. He can make the finest ramen anyone in the family has ever had, then turn around and burn a microwave meal. It's hilarious.

36. Where do they listen to music (Youtube, Spotify, Pandora, CDs, piracy)?

John likes to keep it simple, he just pays for Spotify Premium and listens there.

Rose is more of a Pandora liker, but she'll do other methods on occasion.

Dave is a CD buff, but he also downloads songs from bandcamp/etc, and rarely pirates.

Jade is big on YouTube. She has huge playlists on there, and refuses to use anything else.

Jane is also a Bandcamp user, but she piggybacks off of John's Spotify, much to his annoyance.

Roxy pirates Spotify Premium, YouTube Premium, and everything else she can get her hands on.

Dirk piggybacks off Roxy's pirating, but he also has a YouTube that he rarely uploads to and uses for music on occasion.

44. What kind of thing makes them laugh way too hard?

John likes awful, horrible, stupid jokes. Lame-ass dad jokes. He's great at them, too.

Rose usually suppresses her laughter, but cat antics get to her.

Dave is similarly usually subtle, but at times silly, ridiculous humor manages to make him crack up. Also, the ridiculousness of his friends does it sometimes.

Jade laughs...a lot. She's a giggler at heart. Her friends make her laugh a lot, as does Bec.

Jane isn't a huge laugher either, but sometimes ridiculous things will just put her over the edge into almost hysterical laughter, and usually, it's not even that funny.

Roxy also laughs a lot, but videos of people falling over or pets fucking up at things tend to be way too funny to her.

Dave's comedy absolutely makes Dirk crack up, where little else does.

#homestuck #dave strider #dirk strider #john egbert #jade harley #rose lalonde #jane crocker #roxy lalonde #jake english #headcanons #ask game #gemposting #gem answers

[plutobnb]

Explore the limitless possibilities with Pluto Neural AI Co-Matrix Ecosystem!!

Harnessing the Power of Pluto Neural AI Co-Matrix-

In the fast-paced world of cryptocurrency, staying ahead of the curve is essential for maximizing earnings. With the rise of Smart Neural AI Co-Matrix Technology, a groundbreaking innovation in the realm of digital assets, opportunities for financial growth have never been more promising. Today, we delve into how this cutting-edge technology can supercharge your BNB earnings and secure your financial future.

Secure Your Financial Future with Plutomatrix-

One cryptocurrency project that is making headlines for its innovative use of Smart Neural AI Co-Matrix Technology is Plutomatrix. This pioneering platform is harnessing the power of advanced algorithms and machine learning to revolutionize the way investors approach meme coins. With Plutomatrix, investors can secure their financial future and watch their wealth grow with confidence. By offering fixed slots and unparalleled security features, Plutomatrix is setting the standard for reliability and trustworthiness in the world of cryptocurrency.

PLUTO Meme Coin: Ranked #1 Worldwide in 2024-

In the fast-paced world of meme coins, PLUTO is poised to take the crown as the most popular meme coin of 2024. With its unique blend of humor, innovation, and community engagement, PLUTO has captured the imagination of investors around the globe. Powered by Smart Neural AI Co-Matrix Technology, PLUTO offers investors unrivaled potential for growth and profitability. As the world’s first meme coin to leverage the power of advanced artificial intelligence, PLUTO is redefining the possibilities of cryptocurrency and paving the way for a new era of digital finance.

Dive Into the Future with Pluto Neural AI Matrix and the X6 Protocol-

As the cryptocurrency market continues to evolve, it’s essential to stay ahead of the curve and embrace the technologies of tomorrow. With Pluto Neural AI Matrix and the upcoming X6 Protocol, investors can dive into the future of finance with confidence. By combining the power of artificial intelligence with innovative blockchain solutions, Pluto Neural AI Matrix and the X6 Protocol are revolutionizing the way investors approach cryptocurrency. Whether you’re a seasoned trader or a novice investor, now is the time to get ready for the world’s biggest meme coin and ICO and be part of something extraordinary.

Get Ready for PlutoArmy the World’s Biggest Meme Coin & ICO-

The countdown has begun for the launch of the world’s biggest meme coin and ICO, and the excitement is palpable. As anticipation builds and investors clamor to secure their spot, now is the time to take action and be part of something extraordinary. Whether you’re drawn to the allure of meme culture or the promise of revolutionary technology, the opportunity to participate in this historic event is not to be missed.

In conclusion, Smart Neural AI Co-Matrix Technology represents a paradigm shift in the world of cryptocurrency, offering investors a powerful tool for maximizing BNB earnings and securing their financial future. With PLUTO Meme Coin leading the charge and Plutomatrix paving the way for unprecedented growth, the future has never looked brighter for crypto enthusiasts worldwide. Embrace the future today and embark on a journey of wealth creation and prosperity with Smart Neural AI Co-Matrix Technology.

Whether you’re interested in Plutomatrix, PLUTO meme coin, ICO, or the upcoming X6 Protocol, now is the time to dive into the future of finance and embrace the opportunities that await. With Pluto Neural AI Co-Matrix by your side, the possibilities are endless.

Follow For More Updates- https://t.me/plutomatrix

#Cryptocurrency Investment #Memecoins #ICO #Binance #Matrix Ai Network #memecoin #plutoairdrop #plutomeme #plutomemecoin #trendingcoin #cryptorevolution #plutomatrix #plutoverse

[mememixr]

Craft Memorable Moments with MemeMixr's GIF Generator

In a world inundated with fleeting digital content, MemeMixr's GIF Generator offers a unique opportunity to capture and immortalize memorable moments with humor and creativity. Whether you're commemorating a special occasion, sharing a spontaneous laugh with friends, or expressing your unique perspective on the world, our platform empowers you to transform ordinary moments into lasting memories.

MemeMixr's GIF Generator is designed for accessibility and versatility, catering to users of all backgrounds and skill levels. With a vast library of templates covering a wide range of themes and styles, you'll never be short of inspiration. From classic memes to cutting-edge pop culture references, our collection ensures that there's something for everyone, no matter your tastes or interests.

The process of creating GIFs with MemeMixr is intuitive and user-friendly. Simply select a template that resonates with you, customize it with text, stickers, and effects to suit your vision, and voila! In just a few clicks, you'll have a personalized masterpiece ready to share with the world. Whether you're brain meme crafting a quick reaction GIF or curating a collection of your favorite moments, MemeMixr's GIF Generator makes the process seamless and enjoyable.

But MemeMixr is more than just a GIF generator—it's a community. Our platform brings together like-minded individuals from around the world who share a passion for creativity, humor, and self-expression. Whether you're collaborating on a meme with friends, participating in a meme challenge, or simply browsing through the latest creations, MemeMixr offers endless opportunities for connection and collaboration.

Joining the MemeMixr community is quick and easy. Simply sign up for an account, explore our library of templates, and start creating! With our platform at your fingertips, you'll never be far from inspiration or entertainment. Whether you're looking to make someone laugh, brighten someone's day, or simply express yourself in a new and exciting way, MemeMixr's GIF Generator is here to help you make your mark on the digital landscape.

So why wait? Dive into the world of meme-making with MemeMixr's GIF Generator today and discover the endless possibilities for creativity, humor, and connection. With our platform by your side, every moment has the potential to become a cherished memory, shared and celebrated with friends, family, and followers around the world.

[memecoindevelopment]

Crypto Chuckles: The Insider's Guide to Meme Coin Development

Introduction:

In the ever-evolving landscape of cryptocurrency, where innovation is key, a new trend has emerged that combines the power of blockchain technology with the light-heartedness of internet memes. Enter the era of meme coin development services – a phenomenon that is reshaping the way we perceive and interact with digital currencies.

The Genesis of Meme Coins:

Laughing to the Bank: The Birth of Meme Coins Meme coins have risen from the depths of internet humor to become serious contenders in the world of finance. The genesis of meme coins can be traced back to the desire for a more relatable and community-driven form of cryptocurrency. Developers recognized the potential of incorporating memes, the internet's favorite currency of humor, into the very fabric of digital assets.

Understanding Meme Coin Development Services:

Decoding the Magic: How Meme Coin Development Services Work Meme coin development services encompass a range of activities, from conceptualization to deployment. These services aim to infuse elements of humor, virality, and community engagement into the very DNA of a cryptocurrency. Developers work meticulously to craft a unique narrative, often blending cutting-edge blockchain technology with memes that resonate with the online community.

The Essentials of Meme Coin Development:

From Code to Comedy: The Essentials of Meme Coin Development

Blockchain Brilliance: Building a Solid Foundation Meme coin development services start with a robust blockchain foundation. Developers leverage existing blockchain networks or create custom solutions, ensuring secure and efficient transactions. This foundation forms the backbone of the meme coin's functionality.

Meme Integration: Humor Meets Finance The soul of a meme coin lies in its memes. Developers collaborate with designers to integrate captivating and relatable memes into the coin's branding and marketing strategy. This blend of humor and finance creates a unique appeal, attracting a diverse audience.

Community Engagement: Fostering a Meme Economy Meme coins thrive on community support. Meme coin development services prioritize creating platforms for community engagement, allowing users to actively participate in the growth and governance of the coin. This inclusivity fosters a meme economy where the community plays a pivotal role in shaping the coin's future.

The Rise of Meme Coin Development Services:

Meme Magic Unleashed: A Surge in Popularity Meme coin development services have witnessed a meteoric rise in popularity, thanks to their ability to capture the imagination of both seasoned investors and newcomers to the crypto space. The playful nature of meme coins often acts as a gateway for individuals who might otherwise be hesitant to enter the world of digital assets.

Challenges and Opportunities:

Navigating the Meme Storm: Challenges and Opportunities

Market Volatility: Riding the Waves Meme coins, like traditional cryptocurrencies, face market volatility. Meme coin development services must navigate these waves, implementing strategies to stabilize the coin's value and maintain investor confidence.

Regulatory Scrutiny: Balancing Innovation and Compliance The surge in meme coin popularity has attracted regulatory attention. Meme coin development services must strike a delicate balance between fostering innovation and complying with evolving regulatory frameworks, ensuring the long-term sustainability of the project.

Community Management: Sustaining the Meme Hype The meme hype can be both a blessing and a challenge. Meme coin development services need to actively manage and sustain community interest to prevent the coin from becoming a fleeting trend. Building a loyal and engaged community is crucial for the coin's longevity.

Conclusion:

Beyond the Laughter: The Future of Meme Coin Development Services As meme coins continue to captivate the crypto world, the future of meme coin development services holds the promise of even more innovation. The marriage of humor and finance is reshaping the way we view digital currencies, making them more accessible and entertaining. Whether you're a seasoned investor or someone looking to dip their toes into the crypto waters, meme coin development services are steering the ship towards a future where laughter and profits go hand in hand. So, buckle up and get ready to ride the meme wave!

#memecoin #memecoindevelopment

[quirkythequill]

Shocking Revelation: Local President Unmasked as Bear in Elaborate Costume

In a surprising turn of events, the beloved president of a small town has been exposed as a bear in an intricately designed human costume. The shocking revelation came to light during a routine town hall meeting when the president's costume malfunctioned, leaving residents in awe and questioning the true nature of their leader.

For years, the president had been an emblem of community leadership, tirelessly addressing issues ranging from potholes to public festivals. The bear, cleverly disguised in a tailored suit, managed to attend public events, shake hands, and even engage in diplomatic discussions without arousing suspicion.

The unmasking occurred when a zipper malfunction during a speech caused the president's human facade to slip, revealing tufts of fur and a distinctly non-human snout. Gasps echoed through the town hall as citizens witnessed the unmasking, prompting a spontaneous eruption of laughter and applause.

While some residents expressed shock and betrayal, others found the revelation endearing, commending the bear-president for successfully navigating the complexities of human society. Social media erupted with memes and hashtags like #BearGate and #FurryLeadership.

In a hastily called press conference, the bear-president addressed the public, admitting, "I did it for the honey," before leaving the podium in a bearish waddle. The town is now left grappling with the implications of having a bear as its leader, debating whether to continue the reign of the furry executive or hold a special election.

---

About the Author:

Chuck L. Chortlesworth

Chuck L. Chortlesworth, Ph.D. in Punnery and Mirthful Mischief, has been uncovering the humorous side of the news since typewriters were considered cutting-edge technology. Known for infiltrating absurd situations with a keen wit, Chortlesworth has a knack for spotting the punchline in the most unexpected places. When not penning satirical news, he can be found teaching cats stand-up comedy or leading laughter yoga classes for unsuspecting penguins.

#ai generated #wonder ai #chatgpt #news #satirical #satire #satirenews #QuirkyQuill #QuirkQuill #QuirkytheQuill