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because-of-a-friend · 3 years

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Seventeen as Roommates

Thanks for the request anon! This one was also super fun to do and I hope you really like it! This is the last request and them I’m putting everything aside to finish the Falling Flower series for y’all!

MASTERLIST

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

The most responsible roommate, tbh. He doesn’t want to step on any toes so he’ll make sure there’s great communication between the two of you. He knows all of your pet peeves when it comes to a roommate so he can avoid doing anything that would upset you. Of course you extend the same courtesy since Cheol is such a sweet and great roommate and gives you no reason to want to upset him. Definitely the type of roommate that becomes your friend. He’s just such a loving person and it always overflows into his everyday life. So if he’s living with you, he’s just naturally going to be concerned about how you’re doing and how he can help when you’re struggling. The type who will willingly stay up with you at 3am to make cookies, have a movie marathon, and talk about life just to make you feel better and put a smile on your face. A really good roommate. 12/10.

YOON JEONGHAN

The type of roommate where whenever you’re just minding your own business watching tv in the living room, he’ll come and and just lay across your body and go “[Y/N], buy me fooooooooooooood.” And then whine until you agree to get up and go get food with him lol. Not the best roommate. He gets a little messy and procrastinates on cleaning up. But usually it only takes a couple of times of you scolding him for Jeonghan to finally get up and get things done. But he’s also the type to be your friend. Like quite literally the day you move in, he sits across from you on the couch and starts ranting about his life like you guys had known each other forever. And first you’re a little overwhelmed but then kind of relieved cuz honestly you had needed someone to talk to... and now Jeonghan is right there. He’s just so chill and easily becomes a part of your life, it’s almost like you two have always been living together.

JOSHUA HONG

More of a parent than a roommate, lol. Sometimes you get home from school/work and he’s just in the kitchen cooking and goes “Have you eaten? Never mind you probably didn’t eat enough, fix yourself a plate” And then sometimes it’s “Did you drink enough water today?” or “You have that big presentation tomorrow morning, you need to get to bed early.” Sometimes you find sticky notes with words of encouragement all over the apartment when you have big things coming up. Or if you wake up late, you might find an already packed lunch waiting for you so you can rush out the door without worrying about it yourself. Honestly the sweetest roommate of all time. He just tries to make your living space a happy and safe space for you so you never really feel worried or stressed about anything.

WEN JUNHUI

What a truly chaotic roommate you’ve chosen lol. Sometimes you walk into the kitchen at 3am to grab a drink and find him hunched over random papers only to discover he’s been obsessing over the most obscure conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard for twelve hours straight. Sometimes you come home to find him asleep in your bed. And you’re like???? Jun????? And then he just tells you that he wanted to ask you how your day was as soon as you got home and being in your room when you got back was the best way to assure that he could. Sometimes just appears behind you and tells you his most random wants in that moment. “[Y/N], I really want hot chocolate.” You jump as he suddenly speaks from over your shoulder. “Jun it’s the middle of August.” He sighs sadly, and you very easily give in. “Ugh fine, let’s go.” But seriously, there’s no dull moment living with Jun. He’s a ball of constant fun and adventure.

KWON SOONYOUNG

I hope you’re ready to live with someone whose love language is physical affection. Because no matter what you do: wash the dishes, buy dessert, get him a gift, remember things about his life, say something nice to him, it will be met with an overenthusiastic physical response: a tight hug, sudden cuddles on the couch, a whole Soonyoung just jumping on top of you. That’s just how he shows his appreciation for you when you’re being a good roommate. He knows living with people is difficult sometimes so he’s really grateful for having such a great one and always wants to show you that. Chores are always split evenly and you have a specified chore day because it’s more fun to do it together and it gets done more quickly. You both pull your weight around your living space to make sure you guys have an easy and peaceful living situation.

JEON WONWOO

When you first start living with Wonwoo you begin to question if you made the right decision. He’s just so distant and quiet and you begin to realize that you really don’t know anything about him at all. But it doesn’t take you long to realize that he was just really shy and hesitant. Once he opens up, he is surprisingly clingy and affectionate. Spends the majority of his time in your room lol. Not even to talk, he just likes sitting in there with you. He’s a big baby about chore day so you have to bribe him with his favorite sweets to do the dishes lol. Sometimes you also have to force him to get out the house and get some fresh air when you realize he hasn’t gone out in literal days. But he is a really sweet roommate and there are no issues between the two of you.

LEE JIHOON

Jihoon is a very strict roommate. Will make it very clear what his pet peeves are and what he expects from a roommate. It’s a little off putting at first but when you realize he wants you to be just as honest as him, you understand that he just doesn’t want to leave any room for misunderstandings or for either of you to be upsetting the other. It also takes awhile for him to be friendly towards you. He views having a roommate as more of “I’ll live with someone else so I don’t have to pay as much for a place” rather than “Oh, a chance for a new friend!” But he will eventually open up. He’s also one you feel more like a mother to, because he’s so busy working and you have to make sure he eats enough and sleeps enough. But you do it in fun ways like having nights where you cook dinner together or movie nights where you watch one movie after another until he dozes off. Jihoon is honestly really happy you’re around.

LEE SEOKMIN

You didn’t think it was possible to know this much about a person that wasn’t your own self. But every day Seokmin comes home, slumps down across the couch from you, and tells you literally everything that happened to him that day. You don’t mind because he always tells his stories in really entertaining ways, but you really do hear about everything. Also not always the best roommate, he can get a little messy and loud. But he’s always very sweet and apologetic and makes up for anything he does very quickly. Definitely becomes your friend, though. You’re living together, and he loves making new friends, so why not? He’ll introduce you to his whole friend group and weave you into his life with no issues at all. Very happy to have a new friend around.

KIM MINGYU

Literally every time you lay down on the couch, Mingyu comes in and drops his entire body on top of yours. Really just the cuddliest person you could have possibly lived with. Once you two are close, Mingyu is all physical affection all the time. Honestly also not the best roommate, he annoys you quite often. Not because he’s inconsiderate or rude, but because he doesn’t always think about what he’s doing and forgets to consider how it’ll affect his roommate lol. You end up posting a chore list on the fridge to remind both of you to keep the place clean. And you’ll post friendly little reminders about things he needs to remember. He’s just grateful to have a roommate that’s so patient with him despite the face that he knows he’s not always easy to live with. He buys you lots of food and gifts to make up for it, and does lots of favors for you too. He may not always be the best roommate but he is a great guy to have around.

XU MINGHAO

Honestly the perfect roommate. Minghao is quiet and clean and respectful. He doesn’t even have to try, he’s just kind of naturally that way. And he’s also really easy going as long as what you do doesn’t affect your shared spaces or his own personal space. Doesn’t really see any reason to be friends with his roommate, but if you start to be friendly, he’ll match your energy. He’s also a perfect friend that way, he lets you take the lead in everything to make sure you feel comfortable and doesn’t push anything. Once you two are closer, Minghao is the cutest roommate ever. He loves ranting to you about his interests and showing you what he’s working on. He’s also happy to listen to you talk about your hobbies. Both of you will get the other to join in on your projects so you can have more fun things in common.

BOO SEUNGKWAN

More like siblings than roommates lol. The two of you get into the dumbest most pettiest arguments 24/7. It’s never anything personal or serious or having to do with your living space, it’s just the most random stuff. But you two will bicker all the time. Someone would think you two had been living together your whole lives. But then someone will be like, “Why do you live together if you hate each other?” And you’ll both pause and immediately go, “What are you talking about? I love [Y/N]!” “Yeah, Seungkwan is like my best friend in the whole world.” You two just really get each other and it makes living together really easy. Cuz you both expect the same thing out of a roommate, so living together is smooth sailing. Well when you’re not debating who the best character in your current favorite show is lol.

HANSOL VERNON CHWE

Vernon is sincerely the chillest roommate. He doesn’t think anything of anything, when you ask him to do things around your place, he just changes his behavior to make you more comfortable. Of course you do the same to him but he honestly doesn’t expect a lot from you. Is 100% going to be your friend. You get texts throughout the day like: [Y/N], please bring meeeee snaaaaaacks, I don’t wanna get out of beeeeeeeeeeeeed. And then you bring the snacks and notice he’s watching a show you really like so you just climb into bed with him and before you know it, you’ve wasted a whole day binging tv with Vernon instead of everything else you needed to do. His habits definitely rub off on you lol. But he’s an easy person to live with.

LEE CHAN

Honestly a great roommate. He’s terrified of upsetting you lol. At first he’s walking on egg shells around you because he doesn’t want to do anything to make you angry. But you assure him that as long as you two communicate with each other, everything will be fine, so he finally relaxes. He may avoid being your friend for awhile because he’s a little shy. So it takes a lot of encouragement from you. So you’re always planning movie nights or fun activities or really anything to do together. Chan honestly adores you for it. He’s grateful to have a roommate that makes him feel so welcomed and comfortable. He repays it all back by giving you a very genuine and kind and loving friendship.

235 notes · View notes

ruewrites · 3 years

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Hi, i hope you are doing good. So i had a request, i really like angst and i was reading We're Blooming Togheter (its very good btw) And i was wondering if maybe you could write like an one-shot about Asmo and more about his last partners? Or maybe more about Lucifer taking care of the brothers at such a young age after being abandoned...i just really like angst.

Revisiting Past Ghosts

AO3

WBT

Ship: Solomon/Asmo, Lucifer/Diavolo (more near the end?)

Word Count: 3113

Warnings: Some violence (skip the third snippit)

A/N: Hi Anon! I’m happy that you enjoyed WBT! I really loved writing it! I’m also always willing to write more about it (I want to write more about it too). This ask actually inspired two one-shots? I’m not going to post the second one yet (I want to finish some other requests first) but I hope you like this first one. I was actually playing with some ideas about writing some more for the au and your comment pushed me to do it, so thank you! I hope you enjoy this!

Asmo remembered his first girlfriend finding out about him. Part of him had always known about his own affections, but it still made him nervous to tell her. She’d seemed so accepting, so supportive. But Asmo quickly regretted the decision. She’d already had a jealous streak. He knew this, and this just seemed to make her lash out at anyone that even dared to look at Asmo in the halls, including his best friend. It started out as little things that could be excused as accidents, but then Solomon’s number had been blocked on his phone.

The only reason that they’d started dating in the first place was because they were in similar social circles. She was cute, Asmo was cute, it made sense. He’d been interested at first, but the more he learned about her personality, the less interested he became. Despite how perfect they may have looked to their peers, they clashed on more subjects than they agreed on.

Their breakup had been ugly, Asmo wouldn’t deny that.They’d gone back and forth fighting about little things that didn’t matter in the long run.

He’d thought it was over, until he’d seen Solomon’s vandalized locker.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured, a sickness stirring in his stomach. The two of them stayed after school to try to fix whatever damage they could. There had been horrible notes, drinks thrown onto his text books, lipstick smeared over his notes. Asmo would have thought he would’ve been the target of her anger, but unfortunately this didn’t surprise him.

“You aren’t responsible for her actions.”

“But she’s obviously still hostile because of me.”

“Stop blaming yourself, you didn’t ruin my locker.” Solomon let out a huff and pushed more sludge into a trash can, “You can’t fix her attitude.”

True but Asmo still felt bad. Things were quiet for a moment as Asmo tried to escape his guilt as he slipped paper towels in between the pages of Solomon’s notes. She’d been flooding his comments, but he didn’t think she’d ever do something like this once they broke up…

He felt Solomon nudge him with his foot, bringing his attention back up. “If you still really feel bad, you could invite me for dinner. You said Lucifer was cooking right?” he smiled.

Was it simple? Yes. Did it make Asmo feel a little better and maybe even steal a laugh from him? Also yes.

His ex had gotten a new boyfriend eventually. Not that Asmo cared.

Every now and again they would still hiss at each other in the hallway. They’d gotten into a few more fights, mainly over Solomon, and each time Solomon had been the one to pull Asmo away. He hadn’t handled it the best he could have, but it was in the past now. It happened. He didn’t really remember when it all stopped. Eventually they had just sizzled out, going from a raging fire to nothing but smoke and ash.

********

Solomon had just gone home from dropping his assignments off. He promised he’d come back tomorrow, but only if Asmo wanted him too. Asmo had nodded, eyes still red and pillow stained with tears. He genuinely didn’t know what he’d do without Solomon.

As soon as he was gone, Asmo was left alone with his thoughts again. He knew Solomon had to go home, but he wished he didn’t have to. He didn’t want to be alone. He should go back to school, he really should, but he wasn’t sure if he could bring himself to see his ex. He sobbed into his pillow, gripping it tightly, feeling the fabric become cold beneath his cheeks. It didn’t make sense. He didn’t understand. There wasn’t a reason.

He did everything he could. He made himself pretty, he got him the sweetest gifts he could think of, listened to him, cleared his schedule for him… Maybe it still hadn’t been enough. Maybe he could have done more, tried harder. He could have made himself prettier in the mornings or been a little more adoring. Now that it was over, Asmo was making a list of things he could have done better, but it was too late.

He could still remember the last conversation they had and how the bile rose in his throat.

“We need to break up.”

The words had caught Asmo off guard. Everything had seemed to be going fine. They’d never talked about any problems. As far as Asmo had known, they’d been a perfectly happy couple. They did everything happy couples were supposed to do. Asmo did everything a perfect boyfriend was supposed to do.

“But why?” he’d asked, voice already catching in his throat.

“Just ‘cuz Asmo.”

“But-”

“Just. ‘Cuz. Don’t make me spell it out for you.”

Asmo had been snapped at. Asmo hated being yelled at. It made his throat tighten and his body freeze. This wasn’t how this was supposed to be.

“You’re not dumb. You know why.”

But Asmo didn’t know why!

“Wait-”

“I need to go.”

Asmo could feel the mascara running down his face and taste it on his tongue, “Please don’t.”

“Lose my number Asmo.

Then Asmo had been alone. No reason. No explanation. He was just alone sobbing on the sidewalk, looking for an answer he would never get.

He’d been humiliated and broken and he wasn’t sure how to feel. Honestly, he probably would have stayed crying on the sidewalk if Solomon hadn’t found him.

He didn’t want to be alone. He wished Solomon didn’t have to head home.

His door cracked open ever so slightly, and footsteps crossed his room.

“There was ice cream left over in the freezer,” Lucifer seemed a bit awkward, as if he wasn’t sure what to say. He knew Asmo had been broken up with, but he wasn’t exactly sure what to say. It seemed like calling his ex some… choice words had been the wrong decision as Asmo had only cried even harder, defended his ex, and started to blubber about it being all his fault. From there Solomon had taken over and ushered Asmo upstairs.

He’d caught bits and pieces.

I wasn’t good enough.

I wasn’t pretty enough.

I didn’t love enough.

I wasn’t perfect enough.

Lucifer heard a few other things, but all of these little untruths did nothing but make him angry. He knew his brother, and he knew none of those things were true. He’d seen Asmo interact with his partners, and he did nothing but love them. Perhaps he was a little biased, but he didn’t care.

Asmo sniffled and lifted his head. Ice cream didn’t sound too bad… He wasn’t sure how much of it he could eat, but it was a good breakup food. He sat up a bit and moved closer to his brother. The container was partially full and had brownie chunks mixed in. He leaned against Lucifer’s shoulder and sniffled.

They sat there in silence, Asmo wondering why he wasn’t good enough and Lucifer knowing he deserved better.

********

Lucifer was already tense. He could hear the rising voices from the living room. The couple clearly thought they were home alone. Voices rising in the heat of the moment, growing until they reached their inevitable crescendo.

Lucifer saw the slap before he heard it.

A hand brought down onto Asmo’s face. Eyes wide and full of hurt, shock, and embarrassment as tears welled and slowly overflowed onto the floor. He didn’t see Lucifer. It didn’t matter if Lucifer had met the man in his house before this moment. Now he was a stranger, and intruder. He was violating their space, and would be treated as such.

Before he could disgrace Asmo furthur, Lucifer’s hands were dug into his collar and slamming him harshly against the wall. His vision was clouded with red, lips pulled back in a snarl. Bloodlust clouded his mind.

“How dare you lay a hand on him,” he snarled, grip tightening around his collar, “You have no right to hurt him in any way.”

“Wh-”

“None.”

Lucifer vaguely felt the tugging on the back of his clothes, Asmo’s voice no more than a bug flying in his ear. He dropped the man, making sure he stayed between him and his brother. The fear that Lucifer saw would have been satisfying if not for the situation.

“Leave. If I ever catch you in my home again I will be the last thing you see.”

The man bolted out of the house, Cerberus barking as the door slammed behind him. Lucifer couldn’t relax even with his brother’s soon to be ex gone. His blood was boiling, and Asmo was squirming under his gaze.

Asmo didn’t think Lucifer was home, he hadn’t thought anyone was home. It was the only reason his boyfriend had wanted to come over in the first place, he wasn’t a big fan of Lucifer or any of Asmo’s brothers really. It was a red flag, one Asmo had seen in the distance. He thought that would resolve over time. Apparently he was wrong.

“He’s not welcome in this family,” Lucifer growled, “No one is to treat you like that.”

Understood?

Lucifer’s tone made Asmo’s skin crawl. He was still trying to process what had happened. His cheek stung, and his eyes were watering. What had they been fighting over? He couldn’t remember. Were they even fighting or had they just started yelling?

Asmo couldn’t help but shrink into himself.

“Yes.”

His words were soft and barely audible. His mind couldn’t even think about texting Solomon. Where would he even begin?

Lucifer paced around the living room for a moment, muttering to himself. He sounded almost animalistic, so unlike Lucifer. It scared him, the entire situation sent Asmo into a spiral and he wasn’t sure where to go from here. He flinched when Lucifer touched him, and seeing that seemed to make his anger flare again.

Lucifer stared at the mark that started to mar Asmo’s skin before shaking his head and heading off into the kitchen. He returned shortly after and pressed a cold ice pack to Asmo’s face. Hours of silence ticked by.

Lucifer wanted to press charges.

Lucifer wanted to go after him himself.

Lucifer wanted to bury him deep in the ground with the rest of the spineless worms.

Asmo told him not to.

They’d fought about it for a few days, and the relationship had continued for a little longer after that. But eventually, both the argument and the relationship ended.

*********

Lucifer had been looking over one of his cases when Barbatos paged him down. Something about someone wanting to talk with him. While he’d never admit it, his mind hadn’t been focused on his work lately. Something was going on with his brothers, specifically Asmodeus. He’d seemed unusually twitchy and eager up until recently. Now he wouldn’t come out of his room, and he could hear him sniffling.

Diavolo’s booming laugh bounced off the walls and was the first thing Lucifer heard before he saw anyone. Perhaps Diavolo wanted to take the three of them out to lunch again, where Lucifer would then continuously have to check the time and remind Diavolo about PDA as well as Barbatos’ presence.

However, when Lucifer came to Barbato’s desk, he saw a third person that he wasn’t expecting.

Solomon looked a little frazzled underneath his normally cool composure. He stood stiffly next to Barbatos as Diavolo chattered away. Luciferer spied something pink clasped between fidgeting fingers.

Barbatos was the first to notice Lucifer’s presence. He made his way over to his side and glanced over towards Solomon and Diavolo.

“He seems nervous.”

“I noticed.”

“What do you think it’s about?”

Lucifer hesitated, thinking over his options. Well, he had one idea. If he was correct, it would certainly make everything else fall into place much easier.

“I guess we’ll have to find out won’t we?”

Solomon smiled as he saw Lucifer approaching, causing Diavolo to turn around with a wide grin on his face.

“Lucifer!” Diavolo chirped, moving closer. He went in for a kiss, but Lucifer stopped him.

“Later. We have company,” he smiled, patting his boyfriend’s pouting cheek before turning to Solomon. “It’s good to see you Solomon, it’s been a while since we’ve had you at our dinner table.”

“Ah, well, Asmodeus and I have both been busy. We’ve been spending a lot of study time over at my apartment,” he said. Then a small silence stretched on. Solomon looked down at the pink envelope in his hands for a moment and sucked in his breath, “I was actually wondering if you could give something to him.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. He could feel Diavolo and Barbatos behind him, their intrigue was palpable. Lucifer would be lying if he said he also wasn’t curious about what Solomon had to say. “And why can’t you just give it to him yourself?” he asked.

Solomon stopped for a moment, eyes glancing down at the envelope before smiling.

“Well, I’ve been hiding them in secret and leaving them anonymous, so what fun would it be to just give it to him?”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow and Solomon’s face fell.

“He also hasn’t been answering my texts,” he admitted, “I just need him to meet me in the park tonight. I-”

Diavolo’s eyes lit up, “Oh Lucifer! I didn’t realize your brother had a boyfriend, and one with such romantic ideas at that.”

Solomon’s face lit up red and his eyes shifted to the side. So, there was something going on between his brother and his brother’s childhood best friend. His memories flashed to Asmo’s exes, the things they’d put him through, the pain they’d caused him. He didn’t want Asmo to live through any of that again, he didn’t want things to go wrong and he certainly didn’t want his brother to go through more heartbreak.

“What if I just told him? You’ve been sending him letters for a while, why not just get it over with?” Lucifer asked.

Diavolo cut in before Solomon could even give his argument. “Lucifer, why don’t you indulge him?” he asked, “You mentioned that Asmodeus loved romantic things like this. Plus it’s adorable. He’s made this elaborate little plan just for Asmodeus.”

Lucifer hesitated for a moment, thinking his decision over, eyes glued to the envelope. It did seem very… Asmodeus, but could he trust this little romance to not leave Asmodeus crushed? It was a gamble with his brother’s happiness, and the stakes were high.

“It does seem like something Asmodeus would enjoy,” Barbatos cut in, nodding towards the letter, “Plus, you can trust him with his own heart.”

But could he really?

A few more minutes ticked by, Lucifer played with his thoughts. Perhaps he had still been soured by his brother’s last boyfriend. The man hadn’t really left a good impression, and Lucifer didn’t want to see Asmo in that situation again. Asmodeus deserved to thrive and to be loved and cherished. He just wanted what was best for him.

“Alright, I’ll give it to him,” he decided. Solomon’s grin returned as he handed the envelope over. “But,” Lucifer continued, “You’d better treat him well, regardless of what happens. I won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting him.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Solomon smiled, “I promise I’ll take care of him.”

***********

It was late, but Lucifer couldn’t fall back asleep. He picked up his phone to look at the time.

Three am.

How was Asmodeus doing? Surely he and Solomon had gotten to their suite a while ago. Maybe he should give him a call.

Turning onto his side, Lucifer propped himself up and stared at his husband for a moment. Diavolo was curled up on his side, softly snoring away. He wasn’t the most graceful sleeper, but it was still endearing in a way. It was still wonderfully Diavolo.

Kissing Diavolo’s cheek, Lucifer grabbed his phone before heading downstairs. It rang once. Then twice. He wondered for a moment if his brother would even pick up when a tired voice answered.

“Lucifer?”

“Hello Asmodeus,” Lucifer smiled, “Did you arrive alright?”

“Mmm, give me a second, we just… got to sleep.”

There was shifting on the other side of the line, followed by a second voice. It was slightly muddled, but Lucifer knew who it was.

“I’ll be right back Darling… It’s my brother… No no, not Mammon…. Yes Lucifer.... Go back to sleep, I’ll be back soon.”

There were a few other noises. Kisses perhaps? Then more shuffling and a door shutting.

“Sorry brother dearest, Solomon’s rather clingy when it comes to curling up, I’m lucky I was able to escape to the porch.”

He sounded happy. It made Lucifer’s body relax and a soft smile spread across his face. Asmodeus was in good hands, he was safe, he was going to be cared for. He still remembered how happy Asmo had been showing off his ring, and how much happier he looked at his wedding. It made him feel at peace, knowing he was loved.

“I assume you’re having a good time then?”

“Oh yes, all the unpacking is done, and we’re planning on going out and exploring tomorrow,” he chirped.

“You mean you haven’t explored yet?”

“We were unpacking!”

“Unpacking doesn’t take that long Asmodeus.”

“Buuuuuuusssssyyyyyy,” Asmo sang, “Anyways, I’ll make sure to take lots of pictures tomorrow!”

“Good.”

I’m happy you found him.

Silence stretched between them for a moment. Lucifer could hear the ocean in the background.

“I should be getting back to bed, I have a wonderful husband waiting for me and a long day tomorrow.”

“Mmh, now that you mention it, I suppose I should be getting back to someone as well.”

I’m happy he makes you happy.

“Goodnight Lucifer, I love you!”

“Goodnight Asmodeus.”

Lucifer stared at the phone for a few moments more before going back to his bedroom where a warm bed and an adoring husband awaited him. Kissing Diavolo’s cheek once more, Lucifer settled back into bed, feeling his partner shift behind him.

Asmo looked up at the stars and took in the night air before wandering back inside. He barely had time to plug in his phone before Solomon was sucking him back into the bed and covering his skin with kisses. Honestly sometimes Asmo wasn’t sure what to do with all the love Solomon gave him, he doubted that he even deserved it at times. But as they laid together, Asmo knew that this was where he truly belonged. He’d finally found the one. Asmo had had good and bad partners come and go, but Solomon was the one who stayed.

#WBT #ruewrites #obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me solomon #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #solodeus #dialuci #soloasmo #asmosolo #asmodeus x solomon #diavolo x lucifer #angst #angst with a happy ending #tw minor violence #human!au #tw abuse

62 notes · View notes

contrabandhothead · 4 years

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Hi! I saw your post about requests! :) could I get some BOB head cannons of what it’s like to date them while also being is easy company? :)

I’m so so SO sorry this took so long, and I hope you like it 🤞🏻also, I couldn’t do all of them because school has been keeping me very busy. If you want to send another request, and i’ll do more for you when I have time 💕 Enjoy!

Dick Winters

generally very private about his relationship

mom and dad™ of easy co.

i want to say that he puts you on his team during missions, but i feel like he thinks it’s unprofessional

so he probably puts you on a team with someone he trusts and that he knows won’t take unnecessary risks *cough cough* Speirs *cough cough*

doesn’t mean he doesn’t get worried though

give this man a massage please, he’s stressed af

you’d never want to jeopardize his position though, so you’re generally okay with it

however, sometimes you get a little lonely

Dick notices this and tries to clear out a slot in his schedule in order to spend some quality time with you

treats you like any of the other men, except when you’re alone

king of stolen kisses behind crumbling walls before a battle

very healthy relationship overall 12/10 would be an amazing father

secretly wants to get married when the war is over

i’m not saying he definitely proposed on V-E Day but he definitely did it

cries at the wedding, especially since it’s been so long since he’s seen you all dolled up because of the war

also cries because he’s finally getting to marry the love of his life

drunkenly told Nix at his bachelor party about how amazing you would look at your wedding and then went on and on about the specific shade of your eyes

S I M P

Nix never lets him forget it

Lewis Nixon

this man

let’s be for real here

he has NO idea how to display affection at all, especially because of his past

so he does what any rich boy would do

showers you in gifts that you don’t need

it’s not that you’re ungrateful for them, you just wish he would understand that you don’t love him for his money

i feel like everyone forgets that he’s lowkey rich

can’t relate Nix

he will buy you anything he sees you look at for more than a second

always has them delivered by some random Private

the men tease you RELENTLESSLY for it

“hey Y/N, what did that overflowing wallet buy you this week?”

“Shut up Tab”

is always worried about you

especially since he usually isn’t on the battlefield since he moved to staff

you’re fine

you can definitely handle yourself after Sobel’s training what a fucking dick

takes you out on small simple dates when you guys actually have weekend passes

the guys always help you get ready for your dates (they see you as a little sister it’s really cute)

Ron Speirs

this man

oh wow

the flavor

never really got to see you until Dog Co. was basically absorbed by Easy Co.

definitely thinks he’s not good enough for you

when you first introduced the Easy Co. men to him, they thought the exact same thing (they changed their minds after a while though)

REASSURE THIS MAN. EVERY. STINKIN. DAY. THAT HE IS GOOD ENOUGH.

P L E A S E

secretly is a cuddle monster

will 100% sneak into your foxhole to cuddle and will slit anyone’s throat that mentions it

this man has arms and legs like an octopus when it comes to cuddling

will pull you back into his arms even if you need to use the bathroom and will not be letting go

steals you pretty things for absolutely no reason (Ron, no)

the man is like a freakin magpie

the men of Easy Co. grow to like him more when they realize how happy he makes you and how he doesn’t hurt you

he actually values their opinion on your relationship a lot

he knows Easy is like family and you’re like the younger sister

doesn’t show it though

pushes you away when he feels insecure

jealous™

surprisingly domestic

Carwood Lipton

wholesome but to the max™

you’re both so in love i feel like i’m going to throw up rainbows

signed up for the paratroopers together

i feel like Carwood is the type of person to marry his high school sweetheart

so yeah, you guys are that™ couple

best aunt and uncle of easy co.

Lip worries about you just a littleee more than the other men

he’s just a worry wart in general

almost threw hands with Sobel once when Sobel insulted you

he will not stand for anyone insulting his gal

isn’t as private as Dick is with his relationship, but is known to hide it from superior officers other than Nix and Winters

aka Sobel

was 100% willing to get kicked out of the infantry to defend you from Sobel

thinks a lot about how good of a mom you’d be, especially when he sees you caring for the men

is also a cuddler, though not nearly as clingy as Ron

just a loose arm to tuck you into his side, especially during Bastogne

prefers having you on his team, not only because he cares about you, but also because he admires your skill and accuracy

you’re a damn good shot, and he’d scream it from a mountain for all to hear

so proud of his gal

George Luz

you’re either the jokester and the stoic couple, the shy kid and the jokester couple, or the jokester and the jokester couple

there’s no in between

cracks terrible jokes just to see you smile

still tries pick up lines even AFTER you two are dating (even the guys shake their heads)

you two are the entertainment for easy co. let me tell you

you’re also the only person that can get George to shut up

you must thank him in kisses he takes no other currency

clingy baby™

it’s like dating a 12 year old boy sometimes

he can be so immature but it’s kind of endearing at times

everyone is immediately accepting of your relationship because it just makes sense and you’re both good for each other

wants a hug and a kiss even if you’re just leaving the dining hall to go to the bathroom

just give the man what he wants or he’ll pout all day until you kiss his cheek

you guys once had a match of how long you could ignore each other once

he was surprisingly dedicated

but he broke

he snapped like a twig after everyone went to sleep

he dived into your foxhole and begged you to talk to him

he kept snuggling closer to you until you talked to him again

Joe Toye

rough on the outside, soft on the inside

brings you flowers when he asks you out (surprisingly very traditional and respectful when he asks you out)

everyone has a good time when Toye is with you, he loosens up a lot more

loves when you pet his hair and he can just stare up at the stars while laying in your lap

he’s just as bad as Speirs when it comes to cuddling

a cuddle bug but won’t admit it

actually might be worse than Speirs when it comes to cuddling because he can actually sneak into your bunk while you’re sleeping

also wants to fight Sobel when Sobel insults you and actually almost threw hands

he almost got court martialed and was 2 steps away from getting up in Sobel’s face before Guarnere and Luz stopped him

hands down the dumbest thing he has ever done

you were so mad at him for it

you didn’t talk to him for a week

you felt bad because he was always giving you those puppy dog eyes from across the dining hall

Joe gets teased by the guys for being sweet on you

“at least I got a broad! the rest of ya’ can’t really say that much.”

will not hesitate to let you win during arm wrestling

he’s not allowed to arm wrestle with you anymore because the guys know he’s just letting you win

you’re his #1 fan during arm wrestling

look at those arms tho

Joe Liebgott

y’all thought Toye was soft

OH BOY

the way Joe acts around you is definitely bullying material for the other guys

Lieb drinks respect women juice

thinks you’re so cool

would probably walk up to random people and be like “that’s her. she’s my girlfriend. can you believe how lucky i am?”

thinks it’s so cute when you show off your brand new jump wings to him

you just looked so excited

he wasn’t even staring at the wings when you started rambling about how happy you were, he was just making this stupid in love face

definitely grabbed your face and kissed you hard after that

he wants SO many kids????

ya know those lists that lots of girls have on their phones and it’s just a bunch of future baby names??? that’s Joe

this man has 8 names

4 girls names and 4 boy names

he plans to use every name

just wants to live the domestic life with you after the war

will freeze his ass off and take your watch just so you can get some extra sleep

another cuddle monster (they’re multiplying)

whispers really cute things in german to you until you fall asleep

has also almost fought Sobel for shit he said to you

David Webster

you help him fit in more with the other guys

please teach him the art of socializing

yes, the men have stolen his journal to read all his terrible poetry about you

still gets shit for it to this day

shares his chocolate bar with you

longing stares but from across the room

doesn’t actually take you out until the war is over because he wants to do it right dammit

has little to absolutely no relationship experience

please teach him

or better yet, struggle with him and get made fun of by all the guys

they actually accept Web more now that he’s with you

cuz Easy Co. loves you

sends letters all the time when he’s sent to the hospital

everyone teases him that he acts like he’s more likely married to Liebgott than to you

you’re the only reason the men will stop teasing him

definitely more badass then him

you radiate boss energy and that’s what easy co. likes about you

especially Web

everyone’s like “that’s my girl!”

and he just smiles in the corner with the rest of them

Bill Guarnere

DID I SAY SOFT???

S O F T

weak for his girl

arm wrestles just to get your attention (flexes all the time for pete’s sake)

also wants like a gazillion children and talks about it constantly with Liebgott

this man wants an army of little Italian kids

no one makes fun of you or Guarnere for his actions to get your attention because they don’t want his fist in their face

people who have almost punched Sobel for making fun of their girl: let’s add Guarnere to the list

you didn’t ignore him, you just told him off for being an idiot

if i could describe it, he sulked like a puppy that got told no more treats

so proud of you when you get your jump wings

probably makes a toast about it at the celebration

he was so drunk but it was so cute

literally will do anything for your attention

chugging three bottles of whiskey so Y/N will pay attention to me??? pass the bottle bitch

not a massive cuddle monster but enjoys PDA and the occassional ass slap

probably has slapped your ass in front of company before

this boy has no morals smh

don’t worry, you get him back though

Frank Perconte

worry wart but multiply it by 1000x

is always bothering you to brush your teeth

not because he’s scared your breath stinks, but because he cares about you and your oral hygiene

now gets bullied about oral hygiene and his relationship with you

ft Skip. “oh Y/N, take me away my princess. did you brush your little pearly teeth??? i would never want your perfect smile to be ruined.”

Skip has been chased multiple times around Toccoa for this behavior

will fight anyone that thinks you’re not a good shot

is amazed how good you are at darts (knows you’re better than Buck)

does share a foxhole with you

is NOT part of the monster cuddler club because he knows when to stop

has not arm wrestled for your attention but will if so needed

always needs attention

whiny 12 year old boy P.2

sometimes it’s like you’re dating Luz as well

Luz has purposefully third wheeled before

yes, you heard me

ON PURPOSE

likes spontaneous dates

would fight Sobel for you but isn’t stupid enough to almost do it

Buck Compton

realized he had heart eyes for you before his old girl broke it off with him

WAS RELIEVED WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS DONE WITH HIM IN BASTOGNE

the other Easy men were like “dude, what the hell are you waiting for. GO GET YOUR GIRL!”

let’s you win at darts

is also stupid and needy enough to arm wrestle for your attention

actually wins though

wants you to kiss his guns (absolutely not sir)

jealous and protective

jealous af around Winters

gets teased a lot about it by the other men

but they can see why he’s insecure about it, Winter’s could sweep any girl he wanted to off her feet

indeed a cuddle monster

will only share a foxhole with you in Bastogne

no one else

radiator of heat and thus a good cuddler though

will only let you make fun of him without repercussions

wants you to move in as soon as the war is over

always demands to be in your unit during an attack

will keep you safe at all costs (and one of the reasons why he got shot in the ass again)

Floyd Talbert

THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST BABY

people use to bully Tab for his condom shipments

now they bully him for the way he acts around you

tough guy??? no. absolute stick of melted butter when around you

thinks you’re a saint

so does the rest of Easy though, so I guess it doesn’t matter

they had everyone from Easy give him a pep talk just to ask you out (Trigger even barked at him)

he was actually worried you would reject him

no one will ever reject that man lol it doesn’t make sense

not necessarily a cuddle monster

DEFINITELY A PDA MONSTER THOUGH

likes when you sit on his lap

can’t explain it, it just makes sense

will also arm wrestle for your attention

will honestly do anything for you

you need me to bring you Jupiter in a jar???

sure babe I’ll be right back

has specific pet names for you

his favorites are buttercup, angel, and beautiful

Babe Heffron

P U R E

does not get bullied for being in a relationship with you because everyone loves him

not a single person in this company, including you, would hesitate to sacrifice their life for that replacement

whines a lot to you when you don’t give him attention

will arm wrestle for your attention and loses

has not had the chance to fight Sobel before but I feel like he could if he wanted to

will tear Dike to shreads if he even mutter one hateful word against you

cuddle monster #2323293

enjoys being the little spoon and the big spoon while in the foxhole

shares his food with you during meals

will not hesitate to get shot in the ass for you

also will not hesitate to get shot for you in general

is like an angry 6 year old baby when you don’t pay attention to him

is known to give the silent treatment when you’re too busy to talk to him for days

MAKE TIME FOR HIM DO IT NOW

wants you to meet his Ma in Philly after the war

has many hopeful dreams that include you after the war

will only share chocolate with you and Gene

give him a hug, even when he says he doesn’t need it

Eugene Roe

HOLY SWEET JESUS

FIRST OFF

NO ONE IN THEIR GODDAMN RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER MAKE FUN OF YOU, ESPECIALLY AROUND DOC

this man has so many pet names

he is not afraid to use them on the battlefield, especially if you’re bleeding out because he’ll know you’ll answer to them

“darlin’, mon amour, ma mie, ma belle, ma chérie”

please stop Gene, it’s embarassing but also like don’t stop

get us a defibrillator his heart stopped while he was looking at you and we need to do CPR NOW-

thinks you’re the most beautiful girl ever

is not dumb enough to arm wrestle for your attention

he just makes this grumpy or upset face and you catch on quickly

he’s also not dumb enough to fight Sobel

BUT HE WILL FIGHT ANY SOLDIER WITH THE AUDACITY TO INSULT YOU

is always worrying about you

especially in Bastogne

always jumping into your foxhole to check for any wounds

probably lost his sizzuhs that way

always has extra bandages just for you

treats you with tender care

Donald Malarkey

THE CUTEST COUPLE EVER

NOT EVEN SKIP HAS THE HEART TO MAKE FUN OF YOU

is not dumb enough to fight Sobel for you

doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to punch him though

is dumb enough to arm wrestle for your attention

it lowkey depends on the day though

i mean

he doesn’t need to arm wrestle for you to admire his arms

like, have you seen that gif of him taking of his shirt???

loves cuddles in your foxhole but is not a cuddle monster

he’s a big baby when he gets tired

loves it when you take care of him

has definitely fallen asleep once on your shoulder during watch

would run up Currahee with full gear 3 times just to see you smile

he needs a hug. give him one now.

likes to rest his chin on your head

also wants you to move in (and maybe get married) after the war

treats you kindly, but he’s still a sarcastic little shit

kiss his muscles

that was literally so long i can’t believe i finished

#dick winters #lewis nixon #ronald speirs #ron speirs #carwood lipton #george luz #frank perconte #joe toye #joe liebgott #david webster #bill guarnere #buck compton #floyd talbert #babe heffron #eugene roe #donald malarkey #band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers headcanon

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ana-benn · 3 years

Text

I'm feeling some fluffy Seggy Angst....

Disclaimer: I don't prefer Kate Kirchoff, that plays in here. (Totally because of her leaked DMs not cuz she's dating Tyler. Like just don't be a bitch was my only request. 🙄)

Jumping to Conclusions

Warnings: angst and fluff

You knew better than to look at Tyler's comments. That was a given, even when you were just friends and pining privately.

You also knew his reputation, you'd been there while he built it.

What you didn't anticipate was random people sending you snapshots of some beauty pageant girl trying to hit Tyler up directly. You'd ignored it, puck sluts came with the territory, and growing up in Toronto around hockey boys you knew the game well.

Then a couple of weeks ago you started getting sent photos of this girl, Kate, in line at Stars practices or on the glass at Stars games. Again you'd played it safe, and trusted your gut that Tyler was faithful.

Tonight though you'd logged into his computer, just because it was all set up on the fancy stereo system he had set up and you and the dogs needed a dance party. As soon as you booted up the laptop though his DMs popped up, and right there as the last message he read you saw her.

He was obviously talking to her, and you saw red immediately. After everything you'd chosen to trust that he loved you. You didn't want to know what was said or how you'd been betrayed. You just mindlessly scratched Gerry's head and walked towards your shared bedroom. All three dogs filed along behind you and laid down as you threw your clothes into a suitcase. And once you finished that you finally started sobbing.

You didn't need or want the answers, you'd been cheated on before and it wasn't worth the additional heartache. But you also hadn't been in love before. You looked around the immaculate closet and before you registered what was happening your hands found his expensive suits. One by one you took everything he owned and threw it on the ground. Rage building and hurt overflowing as you dealt with the new pain of knowing the life you thought you'd been building was a lie.

You were so caught up in your pain you didn't even notice Tyler walking in the closet, having not found you or the dogs anywhere you typically went.

"Babe? I know you wanted more closet space, but this is a little extreme," Tyler joked as he scratched the dogs and took in your handiwork.

You whipped around at him, tears morphing into anger at his casual attitude, "Don't babe me Tyler. I know what you've been doing, and I'm leaving." You zipped up your forgotten suitcase and started to walk out of the closet.

"Whoa whoa hold up, what have I been doing? If you're leaving I at least deserve a reason!" Tyler said rising and following you.

You looked at him incredulously, "Look I know girls are going to message you, but when you act on it I won't stand for that. I have more self respect than those girls in Boston."

Tyler sat on the bed at that looking defeated, "That... That wasn't what you thought it was."

"Really, Ty? That's the best you've got? This is stupid I'm leaving."

"DON'T!" His shout startled you, "Please, don't go. I can explain," he said softer.

You nodded, stunned by his outburst.

"Kate wasn't letting up, she was commenting on everything I posted, then she started showing up everywhere. Finally she was at the bar Chubbs and I go to after games. I replied to her trying to get her to back off, but she just kept going. The message I sent today was the last ditch before I just block her. You know I don't want to be that guy, and I thought she was mostly harmless ya'know?" You looked at him in shock.

"Show me," was all you said.

So he did he pulled you down to the bed next to him and showed you everything he'd messaged her proving his story.

"I'm so sorry I doubted you babe," you whispered as the tears started falling.

"Hey, hey it's okay. Trust me I know I deserve some distrust, but you make me want to be better. I want to deserve you."

By now you'd moved into a cuddling position on your bed.

"You know I did leave to get you a present..." Tyler said after a while of tender kisses and soft caresses.

"Ooh do tell?"

"Hmmmm, I think we need to clean up the closet first," he replied cheekily rising out of bed.

You rolled your eyes, but got up to follow him, but before you could he dropped to one knee and pulled out the tell-all box.

"You know I had a million ideas of how to do this, but I like this one. Promise me you'll stay, marry me and help me become the man that you bring out in me. Let me love you and be loved by you, please."

You found yourself welling up with tears again, "Oh Tyler, of course I'll marry you!"

With that he wrapped you in his arms and pulled you in for a passionate kiss.

#tyler seguin #dallas stars #hockey #soft feels #angst #tyler seguin x reader

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spicysoftsweet · 4 years

Text

Illumi x Reader, Emperor AU Oneshot

A/N: Meh, possibly a little basic since it was hastily written, but I felt like writing something other than my main story! I’ll post on AO3 as well~ A baby dose of smut at the end, under 18 please do not interact.

Also this isn’t proofread cuz yeah, so any mistakes please ignore lmfao

---

“Thank you, come again sir!” You said, in as cheerful a tone as you could muster, as you handed over an overflowing cup of assorted, chopped fruits to an older gentleman regular. Now that it was early summer and your family farm’s harvest had been abundant, you and your baby sister sold fruit daily in the small but bustling market of your village. Your stand was successful, owing to the freshness of the produce and the polite cheerfulness you and your sister exuded.

“I’m surprised you’re still out here!” The old man warned you, steadying himself on his cane as he held the cup with his other hand.

“Of course I am! Who else would serve you your afternoon snack?” You joked, tapping the old man on the shoulder playfully.

He returned an edentulous smile. “Just be careful, young miss!’ He warned, turning to leave.

“Understood, uncle!”

I wonder why he was surprised to see me out here…, you thought but decided to dispel the thought immediately. The old man was a little kooky anyway.

Now that it seemed that the afternoon rush was starting to wane, you inspected your stores and realized you need to replenish. You moved to the back to start preparing more of the fruit, then waved your little sister over.

“Lily, we’re running out of watermelon. Can you be a dear and bring some more?” You whispered to the plucky nine-year-old. “Are you strong enough to carry it?”

“Of course sis!” She grinned and showed a fist. “I’ll be back in a flash!”

With that, she ran off, down the hill to the farm to collect more fruit. While you were waiting, you continued to work on slicing peaches and mangoes, humming softly as you worked. It was warm outside, even warmer in the tiny shack, and sweat was collecting on your brow as you prepared the next few cups. Once you were done, you would take a short break to get some water, so you focused on your work.

That was until you heard the clip-clop and short whinny of a horse arriving outside the stand. Since Lily was still gone, you rinsed your hands clean with a small bucket of clear water, and went to the front to serve them.

“Hello, and welcome!” You said, brightly, still drying your hands on the apron, until you looked up and saw not the wandering traveler on horseback as you expected, but a stunning man in the garb of an imperial guard reining in the most regal-looking horse you had ever seen.

You began to shake, and the guard gave a disarming yet malicious grin as he sensed your fear.

“I come on orders of the Emperor,” he announced, his voice loud and spirited, and leaned over the counter of the shack, both elbows now propping up his chin. You fell prostrate at the word Emperor, on the sun-baked dirt of the road, but the guard only laughed.

“Get up, I’m not the Emperor, no need for formalities.”

You shook your head, knowing that anyone who had his seal was effectively representing the sovereign and you were just a lowly village girl. What right did you have to hold your head up high?

“Stubborn, are you?” He mused. He entered the shack, which made your heart pound in terror, and nudged you with his boot, then knelt to your side.

“If you don’t get up, you’re disobeying a direct order, and that truly would be a cause for death,” he said. With that, you immediately got up and folded your arms before you, bowing slightly.

“Hello sir, how may I serve you today?”

“That’s better,” he said, now leaving the shack and returning to the counter.

“Serve me an assortment and a cup of water. I’m parched.” You nodded quickly, and went to the back to present him with these items. As he drank, you watched him shyly, having never seen someone from the empire this far in the outskirts.

While the guard was stunning, he was odd-looking: pale with hair an unnatural crimson, a slender, pointed face, and heavy-lidded amber eyes, reminiscent of a golden dragon. Even though he spoke in a sing-song voice, he seemed like he could breathe fire at any time. He noticed you watching, and placed the cup down forcefully before he started on the fruit.

“Like what you see?” He teased. It was already hot in the shack, but now you were burning up. He continued to eat in quiet but ravenously, licking his lips to collect the juices running watching you carefully as though making a grade in his head.

It turns out he was, because the next thing he said, shocked your entire system.

“It’s your lucky day, little flower. Today is the third wave of concubine selection, and I’ll be your ticket into the palace.”

You were dumbstruck. Concubine selection? Palace? No, what you did was sell fruit, take care of your sister and parents, and work on the farm. That was your existence, nothing less, nothing more.

“Why do you look confused?” He repeated, in genuine surprise. “The town criers were all over the land and should have notified all the villages to offer up their women of marriageable age. Did they not make it this far?” He tapped his chin, idly, looking up as he thought. “Well, that’s at least five people who will need to be executed when I make it back.”

It suddenly occurred to you. That’s why the old man had been surprised that you were still out in the open. You should have been hidden. You had heard enough about the stories of women who entered the palace and failed concubine selection only to be made slaves immediately. It was awful. Why hadn’t you hidden? Why hadn’t you known? Why had you been out in the open where everyone could see?

Now it made sense that your mother had not come out today with the two of you. Why she had looked at you so forlornly in the morning as you headed out in the morning, and hugged you extra tightly... Now you were angry. It felt like a betrayal.

You had been quiet for long enough that the imperial guard had grown impatient.

“Let’s go~ I don’t have all day.”

“C-can I say goodbye to my family first?” You pleaded. “They’re just down that hill.”

He gave you a cruel smile. “If I see them, I’m formally required to cut them down for disobeying a royal decree in not registering you for the selection.” With this, he unsheathed the sword at his side, and swung twice in swift, sure strikes. “Which would be fun, I admit.”

You immediately dropped to your knees again in pleading for your family.

“Don’t worry, I’m too lazy to go down there anyway. Plus, I’m late,” he said, re-sheathing his sword. “How about you grab some more of that fruit for the road?”

Finally mounted on the monster of a horse and holding onto the imperial guard’s waist (he had called himself Imperial Guard Hisoka Morow), you were whisked off to the palace. You looked back at your childhood home with tears in your eyes, knowing that unless you caught the eye of the Emperor or received the favor of a high-ranking concubine, you would never have the luxury of seeing your family again. Off in the distance, you could see Lily, running up the hill, a watermelon in hand, and your heart broke.

----

Your entry into the palace was a whirlwind. In seconds, you were treated to more extravagance than you had ever had in your life - inspected by the imperial physicians for health and disease, bathed in milk and rose petals, and dressed in vibrant and soft silk more extravagant that you had ever seen in your life, under the supervision of Imperial Guard Hisoka who stood outside the preparation area, monitoring the transformation of ugly duckling into swan.

You stepped out on shoes that were like stilts, unable to walk and unsteady, stabilized by Hisoka’s hand outstretched for you. Your ears still stung painfully from the multiple fresh piercings to accommodate the ornate jewelry now framing your face.

“W-why are you so invested in me?” You asked Hisoka, who helped you a few steps before calling for a palace maid to accompany you. He walked by your side, hands behind his back, staring straight ahead as you continued to hobble.

“You seem like you have potential, and it’s always good to have an ally in the harem.” He got closer as he whispered this last portion.

“If the emperor doesn’t want you, I’ll add you to my household. I’m quite impressed by how well you clean up.”

You couldn’t tell if it was fear or excitement that caused the flutter in your belly, but you almost stumbled, and Hisoka caught you. Looking at the hapless palace maid by your side, his eyes narrowed.

“You are well aware that a single scrape can cause her disqualification. If she falls, I will have you executed, so accompany her knowing that your life is at stake.” Hisoka threatened. The maid looked like she had aged ten years at once. You were afraid for her, and for yourself, now making sure to take every next step slowly and carefully.

Hisoka grinned, likely relishing in the extreme power he had over others.

“I’ll see you at the selection~” He sang cheerfully, as he trudged ahead, sword by his side.

----

Emperor Zoldyck looked from his throne out at the women kneeling on one knee before him, with their attendants, hoping for a look in their direction. Uninterested as usual, the young man, sovereign over multiple nations through subjugation of his four younger siblings, sighed and called over his lead advisor and right hand man, Imperial Guard Hisoka.

While he was uncreatively named the Treacherous Emperor for his upheaval of the kingdom after his father’s death, he was as beautiful as he was powerful, and so the noblewomen continued to dote on him. However, despite this, he had yet to select his consorts and had never taken a legitimate wife before ascending to power. There were rumors that he was in love with his favorite guard, and this was fueled by the fact that he was bold enough to sit on a throne on his left side rather than stand guard, crossing his legs and looking onto the crowd of women as well.

“I added a few to the selection by the way, your Majesty,” Hisoka whispered to the emperor to the side. “There were a few stragglers.”

The emperor shrugged impassively. “Point out those you found fascinating. I can’t be bothered with this.”

Hisoka’s eyes gleamed as he pointed straight at you, and two other women. Fear struck your heart.

“Rise,” the emperor said, beckoning. You stood up stick-straight from your spot, not having any home training, and stumbled forward, falling into the woman before you. Who fell into the woman before her. Who fell into the woman before her…

Hisoka started to laugh uncontrollably as you got up quickly, gathering your dress, and kicked off your shoes, prostrating yourself again before the Emperor, repeating “I deserve to die, I deserve to die, I deserve to die, I deserve to die.”

The two women who had gracefully made their way to the front smiled and snickered softly, regarding her. Hisoka had to stifle a laugh as well, but the emperor, hoping to establish a sense of order, then turned to look at the rest of his imperial guards.

“Drag those two out.”

The two women froze in fear, and just like that, were carried away, kicking and screaming.

Hisoka, surprised himself, held his laughter, and raised his eyebrows at the emperor. You continued to prostate yourself, crying for having disgraced yourself to the emperor. Exasperated, he rose and without regarding you, exited to his right side.

“The selection is concluded for today.”

And just like that, hundreds of people dispersed.

Hisoka knelt beside you again, giving you an amused, sardonic look. “I knew you’d be entertaining.” He called your attendant back and ordered her to take you to the temporary lodging palace.

“Once you’re done, go to the office of punishment to receive 10 lashes for allowing her to fall,” Hisoka said to her to your and her dismay.

“It was my fault!” You pleaded.

“Yeah, but you may or may not become one of the Emperor’s precious things. So~” His smile widened. You felt the blood run cold, but accepted defeat. “Rendezvous at the same place tomorrow morning. You haven’t been eliminated yet.”

---

Sleep didn’t come easily to you, and by the time morning arrived, the palace maids had to work twice as hard to smooth out the fatigue on your face, as you made it to the selection again.

This time, the hundreds of women had been split to a select fifty, and you were surprised that you were called. Also noticeably, this time you were closer to the front, rather than in the back, right corner as you had been in the middle. The goal was probably to decrease the number of obstacles you’d have to go through, to your embarrassment. On your way here, you’d already heard the whispers:

She looks so country…

She can’t even walk in those heels, she was a walking casualty…

Not to mention, she got the other two unfairly punished!

You still continued to concentrate on your balance as selection continued and each woman was individually scrutinized, then it came up to your turn again. This time, your attendant, her butt probably still sore from the 10 merciless lashes given yesterday afternoon, was extremely careful helping you up as you stood before the Emperor.

You avoided looking into his eyes.

“Greetings to you, your Royal Highness,” you said in a practiced manner, hoping to cover up your country accent.

“Passed.” he said in a calm, even voice. His voice was assuring and alluring but you were in a frenzy of emotions.

Passed? What does that mean, “passed”?

Before you could figure out what passed meant, you were dragged away.

----

It was when Imperial Guard Hisoka came in congratulations, surrounded by a group of senior palace maids, the ones that worked in the central palace only, and two eunuchs, that you figured out what ‘passed’ meant. You were being favored.

Your heart pounded and thumped and cried the entire time you were dressed and prepared.

Fear of not being good enough. Anxiety of what was to come. Anger of leaving your family. Determination to remain in the emperor’s favor.

If you were to lose favor, it would be all over for you.

Stripped to your undergarments, made up, and wrapped up in a red quilt, you were carried over to the emperor’s personal quarters, where you knelt in your underwear until he pulled back the silk curtain.

“I am at your service, your Royal Highness,” you said with eyes lowered, hands clammy, face flushed, and heart screaming in your chest.

“Your accent… is entertaining. You may rise.”

You rose to your feet, hiding your body with your hands in shame. You were so exposed, so vulnerable both physically and in terms of power dynamic. In the snap of his fingers, he could have you executed.

You looked up and finally paid attention to his face, and immediately fell in awe. He was really as beautiful as they said.

His hair was long, lustrous and soft looking, and he had soft features, and smooth skin like a child. But most beautiful of all were his large, doe-like eyes. Despite the fact that you knew he was known to be cruel and quick to dole out punishment, even back in the countryside where you were from, you couldn’t help but fall for these doe-like eyes.

“What is your name?”

You said your name in a soft mumble, and he repeated it, trying the words on his lips.

“Well,” he said your name out loud again, “I’ve decided to start the harem with you.”

With that, he moved quickly as you were left to process. You let out a gasp as he lifted you up in his strong arms; you reflexively put your arms around his neck. He paused, and looked at your lips longingly before placing you on the royal bed.

Once you were on your back, he climbed onto the bed, straddling you on both sides. Your whole body started to quiver as you pulled into yourself, but he placed one hand gently on your cheek.

“Relax.” With that he leaned in, his lips cold but soft as they pressed to yours. You felt your body be consumed entirely with that kiss and your body relaxed, your arms and legs laying uselessly by your sides. You don’t remember when your undergarments were removed, but the thin fabric had disappeared, possibly ripped away by him as he distracted you with his tongue exploring your mouth.

He was intoxicating. His kisses traveled from your lips, to your neck, to your collarbones, to your nipples, abdomen and finally down into your core, where you arched in pleasure, adjusting to a sensation you’ve never yet experienced. His hands traveled gently up and down your thighs as his tongue ran circles, spirals, and figure eights around your clit, and his tongue pierced your warm center, making you moan unintelligibly in pleasure.

“Call me by my name,” he said, his voice about an octave lower as the palm of his hand worked your bud and the tips of fingers worked the sensitive nipple of your breasts.

“Y-your Highness!”

He gave himself two pumps before entering you slowly, giving you a moment to adjust and then thrusting himself forward to the hilt, then pausing, flipping his hair back to keep it out of his face as he hung over you, completely inside.

You were letting out small, soft whimpers, as you tried to adjust to his size. It was uncomfortable but it hurt in a way that felt good. He didn’t move and you stayed where you were, and he continued to focus on looking at you straight in the eyes.

“No, call me Illumi.”

“Illu..mi,” you complied, still breathless.

“Good,” he said, as he started to pick up speed.

The moment seemed to last forever, as your euphoria continued to rise and rise, and he thrust harder and harder inside of you, as if he intended to make a royal descendant that very night. The room was filled with your whimpers and moans, and soon, he let out very soft groans as he finally reached his limit. Your coil snapped first and you released, your vagina seeming to milk him of all he had. Then his final thrust came, and he tipped over as well, filling you to overflow with his royal semen.

He parted from you, and rolled beside you, not saying a word. He didn’t hold you, but existing, in the bed with him, somehow felt like enough. He was the emperor, it could be more transactional than that, but it wasn’t. He had held you, and had put his lips to yours. It was enough for now. You’d only be one of many.

But you were still curious.

“Why me?”

“Why not you?”

You felt your face grow warm. It was as good an answer as any other. He was the emperor, he could do whatever he wanted. You wondered if you were done.

He got up and walked over to a chest, placed far away from the bed you’d both soiled with sweat and body fluid. You sat up, watching him, curious as to what he was doing. If he would leave, or have you escorted out.

He pulled out something small in his hand that you couldn’t see.

“Turn around,” he ordered.

You obeyed, and he knelt behind you on the bed, his fingers in your hair, affixing the top of your hair into a high bun, then securing it with whatever he had in hand.

Before you finally drifted off to sleep, you took a peek at the mirror across the room to observe his handiwork; little did you know, he had placed a seal in your hair designating you as his - a single, round-capped yellow pin.

#illumi x reader #illumi zoldyck x reader #emperor au #illumi zoldyck x oc #things that i do when quarantined

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does-it-need-saying · 3 years

Note

#also idk if you meant it as foreshadowing but the *almost forever* promise reeeaaalllyyy got me here cuz the part making it *almost* is right around the corner 😰 #like did the TARDIS know this while teaching Rose??? #did the TARDIS intentionally tell her to make that line just so so that it wasn’t entirely forever?? UM???????????????? NO I DID NOT. SO THANKS FOR THAT MORNING PUNCH TO THE HEART. I would PAY you good money to keep that GOING

ohh goodness, here we go. I got a bit carried away but hope it is all that you’re looking for :)

Almost Forever (a continuation of Did You Make This? by @loupettes)

The Doctor made his way back to the TARDIS. His feet were heavy as blocks of cement, his mind was empty, and he couldn’t tell if he was actually breathing or not, but on he went. Last of the time lords and all that, what other option did he have? He found his ship, he walked inside, he shut the door behind him.

It’s gonna follow us!

The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn’t get through that door, and believe me they’ve tried.

He pushed the memory out of his head as he made his way up the ramp.

You think you’re so impressive.

I am so impressive!

He blinked away the vision of his past self and the much younger girl of pink and yellow and continued on.

That’s what you are, a big old punk with a bit of rockabilly thrown in.

He could almost hear her following him around the console, but shook it out of his mind. He trudged along, aimlessly falling onto the jumpseat.

You alright?

He tilted his head to see a Rose in a blue Witchita Falls t-shirt, a look of both sympathy and hurt spread on her face. But as soon as she was there, and before he could have responded, she was gone. He turned his head back forward.

The Doctor just sat. Maybe it was a day, a few weeks, a decade, although really it had only been a few minutes. He tried not to think about how quiet it was, how not even the TARDIS had been making that comforting wheezing sound. As if she was mourning herself.

I looked into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS looked into me.

He tried to move his hand to stroke her in support, but he just physically couldn’t. Instead he just stared off into the distance, into the eerie emptiness of his ship which not even a few hours ago had been filled with joy and laughter and…

Imagine watching that happen to someone who you –

What, Doctor?

He let out a sigh. No use in denying it anymore, he supposed, now that neither of them needed protection from those feelings. Or rather, now that the option of just being a coward about it had been taken away from him. The Doctor leaned forward, catching his head in his hands in shame.

When he finally looked back up, a post-it note attached to the monitor caught his eye.

Hold on. Did you—did you make this? This is your post-it note? You wrote this, in Gallifreyan?

Yep.

You learnt how to write Gallifreyan?

Mmm.

You learnt how to write ‘forever´ in Gallifreyan?

Yeah!

As gently as he possibly could, the Doctor pulled the note off the monitor and held it between his fingers. His mind shot back to the first time she had given him that impossible promise of forever. He knew he shouldn’t have let himself fall for it. Not that Rose didn’t mean it when she said it—he knew she did, and that’s why it was so easy to believe. But the universe had a funny way of catching up to him when he got too happy. He shouldn’t have led himself on like that, and he certainly shouldn’t have led Rose on. What had he been thinking? Letting her believe they could ever have a happy ending? He swore he usually wasn’t that daft.

It’s just… it just doesn’t actually say ‘forever’. Not quite.

The Doctor shut his eyes tight. At the time it had just been an accident, a line a one thousandth of a degree off. It was a mistake he had probably made centuries ago when he was a child. But now it had turned out to be an unavoidable fortune, a dark omen, a black spot calling for their theoretical kraken. It wasn’t enough that this whole ordeal had essentially been one big, awful practical joke the universe played on him. It had needed more as it always did.

The TARDIS finally offered the Doctor a small hum of support… but there was something else mixed in there. An apology. Except it was more than that. It was… guilt.

The Doctor looked up, confusion spreading across his face. “What do you mean you…?”

Ok- don’t laugh! But the TARDIS has been teaching me little bits of Gally… Gal- what’s it called?

Gallifreyan?

The TARDIS had known… she had known all along.

“You knew and you only tried giving me this bloody rubbish warning?!” he yelled, pure hot anger ripping through his body now. Of course he knew it wasn’t really the TARDIS’s fault, knew she never would have possibly been able to stop this from happening. But he didn’t exactly have the capacity for rationality at the moment.

The TARDIS shot back at him with a stronger, more indignant sort of growl, and the Doctor’s face turned even more puzzled.

“What do you mean it wasn’t a warning? What else was it supposed to be, then? Just a sign that I was getting too happy?! A sign that…” his voice trailed off into thought now. Was he crazy? No… well, maybe… but maybe- just quite possibly for once- he wasn’t. “A sign that I can get back to her?” he whispered.

He stayed frozen in place now waiting for some kind of response from the TARDIS, but she remained disappointingly quiet. The Doctor’s face fell and he slumped back down in defeat, back into his grief.

And then his head popped back up again. He threw himself out of his seat and started running around flipping switches and pulling levers like a mad man. Because the Doctor wasn’t ready to give up, not just quite yet, not on Rose Tyler. It wouldn’t have been the first time she had left them clues to get to where they needed to be, and it certainly wouldn’t be the first time he had disagreed with the TARDIS about something.

Over the next few weeks, the Doctor worked tirelessly. He had only experienced disappointment after disappointment, but he frantically held onto that last shred of hope. Until one brilliant day he had finally done it. He had located a crack, just the tiniest little one that hadn’t properly healed up yet. A nearly giddy smile spread across his face at that discovery, but it wasn’t long before he was crashing back to reality. It was a highly unstable fracture, one that would undoubtedly collapse two entire universes if not travelled through properly. And that would take a lot of power he didn’t have.

The Doctor paused for a moment, considering his options. He had come so far… so far. And to give up now when he was so close… No. He wouldn’t do it. He pushed forward.

After what seemed like an additional infinite amount of failure, the Doctor finally found exactly what he needed: a great big ball of energy and power, a sun. He scanned for life all around, but to his relief there was none to be found. Well, there would be some plant life caught in the crossfire (which he hoped Rose wouldn’t be too angry about), but nothing detrimental in the long run. More than confident now, he began to draw in its power, his smile growing wider with each passing minute. Maybe the universe was finally doing something for him, finally realizing that a happy Doctor was good for everyone. Maybe after everything he had been through, he was finally being rewarded.

And then he heard the ding from the monitor and all of that hope and happiness drained from him.

It should have kept drawing power… there should have been more… He couldn’t get through.

The Doctor’s legs gave out and he collapsed onto the grating beneath him. He could feel his body filling back up with pain and exhaustion and despair, yet somehow he was completely numb at the same time. How could he have done this to himself again? Get his hopes up so high when he should have known- he should have known- it was never going to end the way he wanted. The universe had not only won, but it got another good laugh at the pathetic man who would do anything for the woman he loved. He leaned his head against the coral behind him and shut his eyes in defeat.

Then the TARDIS hummed at him. Since starting this mission, she had been constantly warning him off, trying to stop him, trying to calm him down. But now she was giving him encouragement to keep going? Without even opening his eyes, the Doctor gave her an empty laugh in return.

“You know as well as me it isn’t possible,” he answered tiredly. The TARDIS moaned back at him again. “I can’t,” he cut her off, practically spitting out the words. The TARDIS gave one last quiet groan, before letting silence overflow the room again.

“I’m sorry,” he tried a few minutes later, finally calming down. “But there’s nothing left to try, there’s not enough power… there’s not enough...” he breathed out, along with that last bit of light he had been clinging onto. Rose was gone, lost, stolen from him too soon and that was that.

The TARDIS whirred again, apparently with a new suggestion. “There isn’t enough power for that,” he shrugged it off. He wasn’t about to make the same mistake of getting his hopes up for a third time, but his ship didn’t seem to care. “We’d need at least another three times amount of power. Maybe if that fracture weren’t so bloody delicate, but—”

The TARDIS cut him off this time, and what she said apparently grabbed his attention. “Two minutes?” He let the words linger for just a moment, pondering them over, before snapping himself back to reason. “No… it’s not possible.” She wheezed back at him again. “Leave it to you? What do you mean leave it to you?” He waited for an answer, but this time the ship remained quiet knowing he already knew.

The Doctor looked up in concern now. “I can’t let you do that.” She wouldn’t have that answer though, and he knew there was no point in arguing further. He knew that his ship knew this wasn’t exactly a smart idea, but he also knew she wouldn’t suggest it if it were completely impossible. And above all that, he knew she missed Rose nearly as much as he did and wanted to do this last thing for her.

With what seemed like the last of his strength, the Doctor hoisted himself up and pushed himself back over to the console. “We’ll have to get a signal through to her beforehand. I’ll find a few stars that should be enough for a few minor messages. Can you direct them to her?” he asked, to which the TARDIS replied positively.

Over the next few days, they worked together to send through the messages and prepare for the full image transmission. With the ship’s help (and a few life-shortening breaths of power from the Doctor), everything remained on track for success. Still, he didn’t let himself get his hopes up. There was no real way of knowing if Rose would get their breadcrumb trail, no way of knowing if she would follow it, no way of knowing if she would arrive in time, no way of even knowing if all the power they were building up would be just enough to break through. And even if it all did miraculously work, it would still be just a couple minutes. A far cry from whatever sort of forever he had ever hoped for.

Finally everything was ready, or at least as ready as it was ever going to be. The Doctor had gone back to sitting on the grating, hugging his knees and trying not to think about how impossibly close he was again. Then the ship gave a gentle whir.

It was time.

The Doctor stood up and slowly made his way to the monitor. He continued telling himself not to be surprised if she wasn’t there, not to be disappointed if the transmission cut out earlier than expected or if it didn’t work entirely, and to just stay as calm as possible.

The Doctor flipped a few switches, pulled a few levers, and then waited as the power flowed through and the TARDIS boosted it up. He braced himself one last time for whatever sight he was about to come across.

At first there was just a little spark, and then an image faded in. He saw some sand, a quiet ocean, and—

Her.

The Doctor took in the view of Rose Tyler standing before him and did something he hadn’t done in months: he smiled.

---

After an exhausting day on every level he could possibly think of, the Doctor was back in the TARDIS. Alone.

After shaking the fake snow out of his hair, he finally gave his ship that comforting stroke. “I hope you’re feeling all better now,” he told her, and she replied with a half hearted groan. “I know,” he gave her one last pat and a sad smile.

As he sat down he found that post it note lying haphazardly across the console, and carefully stuck it back onto the monitor. He sighed. “Suppose it wasn’t nearly as almost forever as I was hoping for.”

The TARDIS gave him a wheeze of sympathy, and then silence washed over the room again. For some time the Doctor just sat in it, giving himself a chance to simply grieve one last time. But then he entered in some coordinates and he continued on as he always did- as he always had to.

Days passed and months passed and years passed. The Doctor found new friends, went on new adventures, and made new happy memories. And without knowing, he waited. Waited for one night at the almost end of the world where that woman he loved would be standing impossibly on the other end of a deserted street. He waited for the rest of that post it note to come true. And he waited for the moment he would have to give it all up.

#post it note flashback snippets by loupettes #also at some point the Doctor throws out the TARDIS manual into the burning sun #I really wanted to include that but I couldn't get it in naturally #so just imagine it happens at some point #almost forever #tenxrose #collab fic #tenth doctor #rose tyler #post doomsday #dw

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charmspoint · 3 years

Text

Author Interview

Saw this on @prince-liest and did it cuz i needed a pick me up today, they said to tag them so there ya go I hope it’s interesting <3

Fandoms: Very much mostly BNHA, though I’m getting back in Bungou Stray Dogs and already have fics I wanna write there too. Other fandoms I dabbled in: Promised Neverland, Promare n Forest of Drizzling rain

Where I post: on AO3 at CharmPoint! ….don’t be…don’t be fooled by my tumblr name I’m just sacrificing a brand for a bad joke

Most popular one shot: The crown goes to Far too young, I think this one was just in the right time and place while Promised Neverland high was at it’s peak. It’s the only one shot I have that broke 100 kudos so I’m p proud of it.

Most popular multichapter fic: ….it’s…it’s Ignite me, god I wish it wasn’t but it is. I’m not gonna link it cuz I honestly don’t want ppl to read more of it. Like there’s nothing especially bad about it….aside from the writing. The writing is just down right awful, I wrote this two years ago with a coauthor (hi Tati) and it went on a hiatus and then I went to reread it to remind myself how to continue and aaaaa I couldn’t get through chapter 3 it was SO BAD. The reason is that we adapted it from a rp and…we did so pretty badly. I really don’t like it but I don’t wanna delete it cuz 1. It’s not only mine 2. A lot of people seemed to really really like it…somehow, they are so strong. My ultimate mission is to one day rewrite this fic and make a good Ignite me, one day…

Favorite story written so far: That would definitely be Call of the Wild (at least of ones posted rn, Red String of Death just might overtake it). I think this was the first time I reread one of my own fics and felt genuine pride. Like complete unabashed pride. I kept going :0 I did that, her mind!! Especially the first chapter, which is one I use for all my zine apps lmao. I think I got the atmosphere just right, I think I got the foreshadowing just right, I really like what I did with silence vs dialog through the story. I’m just so proud of it. I’ll probably never write anything for Kiribaku again but if I gave them one fic, I’m glad it was Call of the Wild.

Fic I was nervous to post: That would be The suffocating quality of your dying breaths (And the effect they had on me). I really liked this fic, I really vibed with it and I had a lot of fun writing it but I was afraid that what I was trying to say wouldn’t come across right. It’s a fic about suicidal tendencies not from the perspective of the person having them but the person closest to their side…that kinda hates their guts. I’m not sure how well I managed to get it across the 3 chapters it has, but it’s supposed to be about realizing your boundaries and that sometimes you just aren’t a person for the job and that sometimes you really shouldn’t torture yourself over what you can’t do and just do what you can instead. Some things require professional help and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to offer that kind of help. I was just afraid that ‘you have limits to what you can do to help’ would be misinterpreted as ‘so you think you should just not help suicidal people huh??’ I received a positive reception for it so if nothing else it went over well with some people!

Do you outline?: I just learned to properly outline this year ;;; I used to just go with the flow and that…ended up pretty bad. But now I found an outlining style that suits me and it helped a lot to make my writing better!!

Complete: 15! Most of them oneshots and staggering 9 from this year alone. I had a very bad creative drought for such a long time but now I’m back n yall there’s no stopping me

In progress: If we go by what’s not posted yet rn I’m working on 7 fics in various stages of done. I also have two more fics in WIP folder but they are waiting till I have time n motivation to write them. Also my notes are overflowing with future story ideas hbjbhj there’s a LOT.

Coming soon: Drumroll, three big bang fics (DabiHawks, ShinKami n TodoBaku) , one secret santa fic (it’s a surprise ;3c) and eventually three zine fics (>;3c) . Ya girl is head deep in events rn jjknjk HELP (jk I actually have them all under control believe it or not). These events played a large part in getting my motivation ball rolling again so I’m pumped to be a part of them, though also looking forward to more none event works after this.

Do I accept prompts?: Sure, if I’m vibing with the idea n have the free time (which I don’t ever;;;)

Upcoming works I’m most excited for: Red String of Death, my upcoming DabiHawks big bang fic! Honestly I’ve had a wild ride with this one, a real roller-coaster. I was really excited by the idea, then I was afraid it was boring actually, then I got a great beta who encouraged me a lot and provided a lot of valuable feedback and now im PUMPED again, I think it’s p good if I do say so myself and I’m super excited to see how people feel about it. It’s not the happiest story I’d say, it follows in the footsteps of Call of the Wild by having a sorta bittersweet ending and in being like a fic that’s about a commonly used sort of magic trope (werewolves vs reincarnation n soulmates) being given a little twist that makes it oh so painful. Anyway if it’s spiritual successor to Call of the Wild then you know my hype is real, I just hope others like it as much!

Tagging: Uhhh do it if you want to its late and im lazy to tag!!!

#lucy rants #i needed a bit of a happy rant cuz i had a really bad day n this was exactly what doctor ordered #i could talk about my writing for ages

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priveting · 2 years

Note

Sometimes I forget you're gay 'cuz you hardly post about it. Is that intentional or not? Also mind sharing your coming out story? C:

Not intentional at all, the truth is sometimes I wish my blog was as gay as I am XD But unfortunately, not many vintage blogs have gay posts in them! I only follow vintage blogs, with a very few rare exceptions. Gay posts don’t tend to be vintage and I hate the idea of my blog looking less vintage, so there’s not much I can reblog.

Moreover, “lesbian blogs” tend to have either too many texts or too many photos of lesbian girls, either kissing or touching each other, or flat out nudes all over the place, even porn. I’m not into photos of people at all, not even vintage photos. And when it comes to nudes, which tend to overflow those blogs, I just feel super uncomfortable, so obviously I can’t follow such blogs. The same goes for sexual references, something I don’t feel comfortable with and don’t want in my blog. So if I ever post gay stuff it usually comes from the RARE days I spend a few hours checking such blogs and saving such posts either to my Likes or my Queue. But I never follow them, so it’s not something I can reblog every day, because they never show up on my dash. ***As for my “coming out story”… When I was 13 I acknowledged my sexuality and embraced it. I had no trouble telling everyone at school and I never had to deal with any bullying or anything related when it came to my sexuality. It was never a problem. If anything, it made me kinda popular, to be honest.When it comes to my family, my mom found a letter I wrote to a girl I liked when I was 14 and her reaction wasn’t very nice. She didn’t allow me to see that girl anymore, which led me to depression, which led me to pretty much move out and go live with my grandma. I still saw my mom everyday, but I pretty much hated her back then. You need to understand I’m the kind of person who NEEDS a relationship in order to function properly, so anything coming in the way of myself and a relationship was THE enemy. And I literally wanted to die, rather than being single. So those years were quite hard for me. Anyways I kept on having girlfriends after that, my mom realized she couldn’t stop it, and had to end up accepting it. Seeing me being that unhappy also made her understand that my happiness should come first than any of her then closed-minded opinions.Nowadays I’m engaged to a woman and my family is overall very supportive. I guess it took them a while to realize and accept my sexuality isn’t a phase, and that my happiness comes first. Even my mom, the same person that used to tell me “I just don’t want you to do something you might regret” (when referring to having a girlfriend) is the same person that nowadays openly asks me with a smile on her face how things are going with my fiancée. My family met my fiancée last December and they really liked her Overall, I have no problem telling everyone I’m gay. It’s a huge part of me, it’s something that makes me happy and I’m in no way ashamed of it. Nobody should. I think I was lucky things went the way they went, despite the beginning, the important thing is that everything worked out in the end :)

#!anon #!answered

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aurodontdoit · 4 years

Text

Hey Friends, its AutumnRose!

I just wanted to post a small ramble on some stuff that's going on in my life right now...

I've been in a bit of a rough spot emotionally as of late;

My cat Salem (19) is about to pass away, I believe I've posted pictures of him on here before, knowing my ever animal loving ass. XD

He's not sick he's just old, and it's hard watching him go.

I've been also dealing with my depression by keeping myself occupied, and self care, some cleansing rituals, witchy things, etc.

Friends are starting to seem like phonies who don't seem to value our friendship, and want me around when it benefits them or their ego... I'm in the process of keeping a strictly digital friendship with someone who asked me something super personal that really set me off. (Something that is none of their business or concern.)

Work's been hard, two coworkers are out cuz their loved ones are waiting on test results for covid-19, so in a small shop of 10 employees, were down to 5.

(one is awaiting surgery, the other is on a very well deserved vacation, and another one wants time off.)

So that leaves us with only 5 employees to come in and work. (I'm one of them.)

Honestly, I think about the animals I care for in the shop, and it usually helps. (Just think of the fuzzy babies, Odd... Fuzzy baaaaaaaabies.)

Writers block sucks pond water! I've been trying to work on several pieces of original and fan made works, and let me tell you, if I had a filing cabinet for my WIP writing, that bitch would be overflowing with boxes containing the remnants of ideas strewn about.

If you've made it down to this point, I wanna say thank you for taking the time to read this. For those of you wondering why I made this post, well, aside from being able to post what I please, as I please, I see each and every one of you as family. This includes my followers, people who I haven't spoken to, but like all the stuff I reblog, and those I do speak to. I like giving updates on what's going on in my life cuz I feel like this is the only place in my life where I can pour my heart and reveal what's on my mind. I hope this encourages all of you to do the same.

You are all lovely individuals, and I wish you all the best this life has to offer you. This year has been a lot for everybody, but I'm sure we can still make the best of it and find the good in it.

I'm still alive, I have so much love to give, and happiness to spread, and so do you all whether you see it or not.

You're loved, you're valid, and you will be happy someday. It may not be today or tonight, and that's okay, don't beat yourself up for being human, but you will find happiness someday. I promise you.

I love you all ❤️

-AutumnRose

#AutumnRose Speaks #Admin Posts #Life #animals #pandemic #mental health #toxic friend #ouch #this hurts but Im still standing #positivity

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catdemontraphouse · 4 years

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I can say this here cuz nobody who uses tumblr seems to vtube nor does anyone seem to know I have this blog save for a few close friends... this has been really bothering me lately and I rly just need to like... air it out like say it and get rid of it. So apologies for the post in advance. Please do not reblog

I’ve been involved in a community called “vtubing” for a little while now. It’s virtual YouTubing, like think Kizuna Ai of AI channel, though she’s produced by a company, while very many of us are indie self-produced content makers. It’s like being a YouTuber but with an emphasis on anime art and emerging tech?

I was inspired to do it out of my own love for video production and comedy. I wanted to have fun while bringing a smile and joy to other people. I know how brutal life can be, and so I think, I want to be happy and have fun and if I can brighten someone’s day even a little while I try to enjoy life, that’s a good thing.

At first everything was quite positive. Ive met some really wonderful people that truly care about the community and their craft. They openly assist and share help with people, they show up to one another’s events to cheer on friends, etc. which is so heartwarming! But here’s the thing....

I noticed from the moment I began connecting with other English speaking vtubers on twitter and YouTube... the Japanese vtubing scene is NOT very similar to the English one. While virtual camgirls and things like that certainly do exist in the JP community, the English community is excruciatingly more geared towards sexual content and there is palpable peer pressure to conform to that mode of presentation. I have no issue with erotic virtual yotubers themselves, I support sex workers’ decisions to conduct business through online virtual methods. In fact I think ProjectMelody, the most successful English vcam girl has a hell of a hustle going!

That said, it’s toxic as FUCK (no pun intended) when the success of vtubers greatly hinges on their willingness to be “lewded” I.e. sexually objectified, playing to particular kinks, etc. I don’t normally tell people I am aroace off the bat. I try to avoid the topic entirely because often it ends poorly when people find out. But I could sense the oppressive aura of toxic “straigtness”TM wafting in the air the minute I joined in on the English vtubing community and stopped being a lone wolf. So I had to put it out there. Yes I felt that awkward about the “lewd” culture that I outed myself to an uber straight presenting community.

There’s actually a decent percent of the folks in our community who are LGBT come to find out, some openly so, while others are closeted. Maybe it’s cuz I have tumblr brain, but it’s just so alienating and weird to never see it brought up. We have openly trans women in our community but nobody ever talks about trans pride or anything. Nobody ever talks about being gay or anything. It’s very odd to me. It’s just a sea of “huhuhu anime boobies huge haha sexist remark objectify women openly some against their will, show me tits and I’ll give cash” literally Simp this, simp that.... shut up? Please?

There’s a really disturbing new trend of increasingly younger and younger girls “debuting” and being lured into potentially dangerous scenarios with money “donations”/ fame within the vtubing and streaming scene. The providers of said benefits seem to use this to try and gain sexual/romantic attention or favors. It’s quite troubling. I can just feel soon this boiling sea of bile is gonna overflow and something terrible will happen. I am concerned for these young girls. Many of the folks who have expressed concern about this are actually men. There are a lot of men who vtube that see these things firsthand and are vocally upset about it.

I’m just really tired of the whole thing. Not only is it creepy, but it’s caused this whole competition/animosity between vtubers who’ve been around a while and are being ignored and these new girls who get literally thousands of subscribers and money donations when they’ve never even uploaded a video yet.

I truly enjoy making content as a vtuber and it makes me happy to know I have brought smiles to so many people and made some rly wonderful friends. I may have to step aside from the vtubing community and go lone wolf again due to this situation. It makes me disappointed because I do really honestly enjoy all the heartfelt moments that do happen every day. But right now there’s just too much awful energy surrounding the whole thing. it’s just so toxic and I need to cut it outta my life and return to making videos alone for only myself and whoever happens to pass by. I do not want to continue to feel uncomfortable and peer pressured, like I’m never gonna change and it’s tiring seeing everyone else scramble to adjust to this new nightmare when so many of them are good people.

There I’m done I have written this solely for the purposes of clearing my mind and I do not expect anyone to read it or care. I am not looking to tackle this problem, I am not looking to incite any kind of reaction. I am just stating how I feel presently. This too shall pass, it’s a waiting game.

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quatschmachen · 4 years

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Hitch Work

Follows Fresh Powder

2000′s. Edward finally visits Mac up north.

Master post

XXXX

Whenever he fell into that in-between miasma, where other options no longer seemed to exist, he usually found himself escaping Edmonton. Usually it was to Montreal, but that option was out now. So he decided to take Mac up on his offer, an offer that he had often apologetically refused, due to being busy with something or other. But this time Mac somehow made going up to where it was colder, less populated, with a sky full of the dancing lights, more appealing than participating in civil society.

As always, before they even left the city, they had to pull into the Costco to get some essentials.

For Fort McMurray might be the place where most of the money was pulled out of the ground through the sweat and tears of the blue collar worker, but the money shifted south faster than a fart. The big city basics, the stuff the city dweller takes for granted, like Costco, Walmart, dipping out for some reasonably priced provisions…

Mac had to make the six hour journey down for that. He had come with a list. There was the usual on the list – toilet paper, essential food items such as potato chips, mustard pretzels, all the items that were hell to get up north – or if you could it would be twice the price for the inconvenience of lugging it up there. Never mind the desperation to get as much reasonably priced alcohol as possible.

It was almost as an afterthought that Mac led Edward to the aisle with dishes, and wordlessly grabbed a single mug. Edward thought nothing of it, other than Mac obviously needed a new mug.

His hockey bag packed with the essentials, Mac’s truck with all his supplies, Edward felt slightly optimistic.

They had to time it just right, but with a few pitstops, and the black ice which even the winter tires had difficulty navigating, the five hours turned into six. The ride interspersed with their conversation, both of them smoking like chimneys, the country radio that dominated rural Alberta, but not enough to not cut in and out sometimes, the flat prairie farms turning into boreal forest, dominated by the tall frames of the lodgepole pines. A land carefully cultivated for centuries with a respect to nature, a land which now was being cut up to feed the white man’s economy. Brushing that thought aside, Edward let himself contentedly look at the nature around him.

As they pulled into Fort McMurray, Edward was interested to see how the place had changed, and how it hadn’t. It was an odd mixture, the place where the money flowed from, the place where the money often did not stay. A place of historic transience, where one’s home was contained in the heart, but physically was far away. Something like he was doing – running away, getting to work. The grief heavy within him had settled like rocks in the bottom of his heart and stomach. A manageable pain, a manageable self hatred.

As they drove up to a relatively new house, Mac got visibly nervous.

Almost shyly, Mac announced he had finally bought a house. “Oh ye knows, I was rentin’ but then the owner wanted ta move right? So I figures, it’s a nice place, might as well just buy.”

As far as Edward knew, Mac had bounced around his own town unable to settle, never bothering too much with property, probably because it was so easy to crash at Edward’s between hitches. Why invest in a place you barely spent any time in, right? Or at least that had been his own pet theory. It was a feeling of shock and surprise then, at this announcement. Surprise because the man hadn’t bothered to hold a housewarming party, or even mention much about it.

Edward was too tired to even ask why his friend was renting in his own town. Mac did things his own way, and sometimes you just had to accept that. Edward had not seen this house before, and the build looked relatively new.

Pulling his hockey bag out of the truck, Edward followed Mac inside. Mac’s arms were full of the shopping, the bags dangling from the elbows, as he huffed from the weight of it. Edward offered to take something, but Mac was determined to bring it all into the house in one go. Edward locked the truck, and after careful instruction from Mac, which involved awkwardly reaching into Mac’s jacket pocket to retrieve the keys, opened the door to the house.

Taking his boots off, Edward glanced into the living room and frowned. It was a rather sparse room.

Mac had moved ahead to lazily dump the bags down in the nearest location, rubbing his arms.

“Mac… do you live in the basement or something?”

“No. I rents that out.”

Edward looked again at the living room. A space with bare wood floor where huddled in a corner sat one lamp, a worn-out bean bag chair covered in duct tape, gaming consoles and a very large television. There was an overflowing ashtray beside the bean bag, and if he looked hard enough he could see some of the foam peanuts leaking out of the bag.

There was nothing else.

“Where’s your furniture?”

“You blind or wha’? It’s all there.” Mac gestured to the bean bag chair.

“Do you ever have guests?”

“Sometimes – but ye knows holdin’ a kitchen party ye jus’ needs takeout and alcohol.”

Edward made a ‘hmm’ing sound as he shifted his bag. “Well, you can show me where I’m supposed to sleep at least.”

“Sure thing, though now I’m realizing maybe should have got you a blanket or something,” Mac laughed. Edward laughed as well, as he was lead to the guest room.

The laughing stopped.

Before his eyes, was a room yes. In the room? For guests?

In the middle of the floor lay the saddest mattress on the ground. No box spring, no pillow. No duvet.

Simply something that looked like it should have been burnt in the last century.

Attempting to keep his shit together (for Edward knew that while Mac was a competent man, he also needed to be handled in the right way), he asked in a high pitched voice,

“So… am I supposed to sleep in here, or?”

Mac frowned, “Guess it’s not ideal, didn’t really think this through eh?”

Looking at the other man’s profile, Edward let out a breath, “We can make this work, though, I think tonight it might be too late to get me a place to sleep.”

Inwardly he screamed, when we went to Costco you could have said I would need to buy fucking pillows! A duvet! An entire bed! Instead you encouraged me to get more mustard pretzels!!

“Hell we can just share my bed, it’s big enough.”

Raising his eyebrow, and not quite looking at the other man, Edward attempted to joke, “You sure? You might get gay cooties.”

In response Mac slung his arm around Edward’s shoulders and firmly squished him into his warm side, “Chuck, if I’s a gay that would have been apparent years ago. I’s not worried ‘bout that.”

“Years ago?” Edward questioned, peering up at Mac’s amused expression. His internal screaming monologue quelled for the moment.

Giving him a reassuring squeeze, Mac let him go and cryptically replied, “This ain’t a place bustling with women in case ye haven’t noticed.”

“Maaaac… are you saying you’ve been experimenting?” Edward slowly asked, feeling somewhat delighted and surprised.

“Chucky, just cuz I ain’t a big city slicker don’t mean I don’t leave the house and sees people and does stuff, and I’ve realized that I am for sure not going to be worrying about turning homo.”

“Alright then buster… we can drop my stuff in your room and make some food.”

Mac was silent on the way to his room - which unsurprisingly smelt like sweat and something else.

This room had more stuff in it at least, Edward thought. He looked at the bed – simply a mattress on top of a box spring on the floor with what he supposed was the head pushed up against the wall. He knew he should probably count himself lucky that the box spring even existed in this scenario. The bed was messy and unmade, and he could just make out the forms of crushed potato chips amongst the black sheets.

Directly above the bed was a poster of a lady in a bikini, and then on the walls were scattered posters of other ladies, Oilers stuff, and the odd truck poster.

Clothes overflowed from the dresser, balled up tissues propagated on the floor, hiding in the green shag carpet. Edward’s gaze returned to linger to the bed.

“Uh, when was the last time you changed your sheets?”

“Ye change ‘em?”

“…Do you have some like, fresh bedsheets, Mac?”

Mac shrugged, “Maybe? I dunno. Maybe in the cupboard.”

Maybe? Maybe? Was Mac’s plan to share the bed all along? Mac? How the hell did he live like this?!

Edward frowned, attempting to figure out if he cared for the night. He was tired, they both were tired. He had slept in worse locations. He knew when there were times to fight, he also knew when it was time to eat.

“Let’s eat.”

Edward attempted to keep his trepidation at bay. It was as if this house wasn’t actually lived in. Simply a place for Mac to play games and pass out. A house – not a home.

Mac had said kitchen parties but… the stove still had plastic wrap on it. He was not sure what to expect when it came to the cupboards. He opened one and saw an open package of cookies, the plastic tray slightly hanging out of the bag, and on further inspection, only one broken cookie left. Squinting at the bag, Edward realized the cookie had expired over a year ago. The cupboard beside that one was empty.

The next cupboard contained one bowl, one mug, and one plate.

His next step had his foot stick to the floor, his hand fumbling on the next cupboard.

“Oh I calls that the fly trap.”

“What?”

Mac gestured to the sticky patch on the floor, “Keeps meaning to clean it up but ye know, easier to just not step in it.”

“Mac…” Edward sighed, as he opened the next cupboard, and was relieved that it contained some packs of ramen.

He opened a drawer and found it crammed with odd bits of silverware, free floating in the drawer, a divider nowhere in sight. He could discern a sharp knife, a wooden spoon, two forks, a butter knife and three spoons. And what possibly might be a cheese grater buried at the bottom of it all. There also happened to be about six different types of novelty beer openers. The drawer beneath that contained cedar planks, hot dog buns, a long lighter, a metal spatula, and those tiny condiments you get from take out.

“That’s the barbeque drawer.” Mac offered in explanation.

One of the cupboards under the sink was crammed full of fishing supplies. Edward dearly hoped that the locked metal container did not contain fish bait. He did not open to find out.

With slight trepidation Edward opened the refrigerator.

On the top shelf, was an open can of peaches with a fork stuck into it. It stood in the middle of the top shelf like a sculpture – a sculpture that smelled. In the door was some open juice, pickled radishes, mustard, ketchup, relish and hot sauce. Edward could deal with this, indeed he had dealt with far worse before when it came to mysterious refrigerator contents.

Opening the freezer Edward let out a cry of surprise. Neatly stacked, packaged and dated was various cuts of meat that Mac had hunted.

Is this what he spent all his time doing? Edward mentally grumbled, expend all the energy to make sure you ate the meat in the right order?

Beside the meat was an assortment of frozen dinners crammed around a tub of ice cream, one of them nearly bent in half, and Edward did not want to spend too much thought as to how Mac had managed that.

He opened the door of what he supposed was going to be the pantry. He expected to find at least a potato or something, but instead it was full of neatly arranged video games on the shelves, and a few gaming consoles tucked into a corner. On the floor was a half full box of whippets.

His eyes scanned the pantry still searching and not finding.

There was something missing though. Sure there was a bowl and stuff, but what the hell did Mac cook his food in? Ramen existed, the one mug was not large enough to cook it. Did Mac just eat it raw like some moody teenager?

“Mac. Where’s your pots and pans?” Edward turned to ask the other man, who was leaning against the counter simply staring at him with amusement.

In answer he shifted and in the corner of the counter was a small silver pot. By itself.

Edward had no words, as in a dream like state he crossed the room, deliberately ignoring the sticky bits of the floor, and went to examine this battered little pot.

“Mac… why do you have a pot with no handle?”

“Oh you knows it broke a while back haven’t gots the time to jus’ pop down to the store to get a new one, and its not like I needs it.” He shrugged, “It’s like my bowl too – I just make the noodles innit then I moves it to the counter on the little cork pot pad and eats straight outta it.”

Edward was not quite sure how to describe the sensation he was feeling as he looked at the fully grown man in front of him. How… how did Mac survive? How was this even life? Sure he thought himself as screwed up but Mac seemed to be existing on another level.

“Mac… do you just spend all your money on your truck and video games?”

“Beers, cocaine, darts and the prostitutes too.” He gamely added.

“Mac… tomorrow we’re going to the store to uh…” Edward frowned, struggling to find words, “Well, to at least get me my own fucking mug.”

At this Mac brightened, “I got you one! It’s in the pile of crap I brought in from Costco. Chuck – Chuck why are you crying!?”

Edward was laughing as well as crying, as he looked up at the other man, “Mac… I think you’re more fucked up than I am. Shit – you’re supposed to be the epitome of the ideal man—well paying job, a house, passably white, heterosexual – and here you are-” at this Edward’s voice had raised in pitch as he held the pot, “using a pot with no handle! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A FRYING PAN.”

“Don’t need it on the barbeque.”

Edward choked slightly at that response.

“Mac… tomorrow we’re going to Canadian Tire and I swear to god, I may be a fucking mess, but I at least know how to get a pot with a handle on it for you.”

A small smile graced the other man’s lips, “So’s did ya decide what ya wanna eat for dinner?”

“A microwave dinner.”

“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable and I’ll get it made then?”

Edward snorted. “Comfortable where? You don’t even have a kitchen table or chair.”

“Uh,” Mac’s ears turned red, his words apparently escaping him, his hands fumbling slightly with the microwave dinner packaging.

Realizing his tone was probably a little too harsh, Edward attempted to settle against the counter, “I’m fine standing here I guess.”

Mac nodded and stuck the meals into the microwave (which Edward pointedly did not look into, he feared for his life and decided that in this case ignorance was his friend.) For a man of money Mac didn’t have a lot of appliances, hell he didn’t even have a kettle or a toaster.

“What do you usually eat?” he asked, his voice slightly louder than necessary to be heard over the hum of the microwave.

Mac looked slightly ashamed, “Oh takeout, or I just go to my favourite restaurant or pub. I mean it’s not like being home is a place I’m at too much – spend most of my time up at the camps. They feed ye well there. Sometimes its just easier being at work. Don’t need to worry about nothing. Just get the job done.”

Breathing deeply, Edward nodded, “That sounds nice. No need to think, just work.”

“Which is why you’re up here.” Mac grabbed the meals out of the microwave, and they ate their respective meals standing in the kitchen in companionable silence.

Together they unpacked the groceries, Edward already attempting to bring some sort of order to the cupboards. Satisfied that there was some sort of start, he grabbed his toiletries and made his way to the washroom. Flicking on the light, his life flashed before his eyes.

He wasn’t sure where to start first. The dried pee puddles by the toilet, of a man who didn’t care if he missed? (Granted, he had been specifically trained by a VERY grouchy Edith to NEVER EVER make a mess like that.) The ragged shower curtain? The suspicious black mold in the bathtub, or the sink? It was as if Mac was simply a boy in a man’s body, with no one around to teach him about the joys of bleach. As he carefully shuffled into the washroom, mentally informing himself that all he needed to focus upon was getting himself suitable for bed, Edward looked at himself in the mirror splotched with water and tooth paste. His mind whirring to who possibly would be the person to take Mac to the side to teach him the basics of cleaning. Johnny B’y? Freddy? While they were capable men in their own rights, Edward wasn’t entirely sure how close they were to Mac to inform him what a mop was. Johnny B’y was rather outspoken, and Edward felt if he had visited there would be loud words… a thought crossed his mind. A rather unpleasant one.

Mac had mentioned kitchen parties, but the place really did feel unlived in. Sure there was empty beer cans, but there wasn’t any signs that the Atlantic coasters had dropped by. No off-brand screech, none of their specialty favourite foods… – hell he had Johnny B’y stop by for a short visit and he was finding random Purity brand items months later. If there was one thing you could count on, it was that a Newfoundlander would bring food from home with them. There was no evidence of that. Mac was lying, came his conclusion.

Spitting into the sink, and cupping water to his mouth, Edward swished the toothpaste out, and then cleaned his toothbrush.

Not trusting to leave his toiletries overnight in this washroom, Edward packed them up. As he went to turn off the light he cringed. Like the other light switches in the house, which he suspected were supposed to be white, this was a dark grey of grime. Things he hadn’t thought about cleaning were dirty – such as the edges of corners where one brushed up. He was fairly certain Mac had never thought about washing a wall. Or perhaps not tossing his dirty coveralls on the floor. Like a little boy with free reign of a house and no mother to nag after him.

Oh god, Edward panicked, am I the mother?

He was glad he had had the two to three beers. No one wanted to be sober entering Mac’s bedroom.

Mac had scrubbed his teeth before, and was already in bed, snoring lightly. Edward decided to keep his thought to himself, and try to sleep himself. As his hand brushed against something in the bed, that was not attached to Mac, and which was not a pillow, Edward concluded, maybe acting as the surrogate mother was not a bad thing.

XXXX

Entering Canadian Tire was like entering a holy cathedral, Edward thought, breathing the tire smell in deeply. Wherever you went Canadian Tire had the same smell, the same atmosphere, the same lighting that wasn’t overbearing, but instead felt like entering a sacred space. Directing Mac to the shopping cart, Edward lead the way to the main aisle which held the string of palettes in the middle of the floor, the first one piled up with boxes of sale Christmas decorations. Ignoring the temptations, he looked around, torn between kitchen appliances and decent fucking bedding.

He was trying to block last night. Or this morning. Time had ceased to mean anything to him. Dinner had been alright, he was aghast that Mac wanted to use the dishwasher for all two forks. He asked where the liquid detergent was and from the shifty look on Mac’s face he realized that it didn’t exist. Unbidden to his mind was the memory of the bed. The foul smell. The fact that he had found a half eaten kubasa amongst the potato chips. There was even some marijuana hidden under the pillow. And then god, Mac’s snoring. Edward too afraid to move in the bed, in fear his foot would strike a crusty cum sock.

He was tired as hell, but simply being in the Canadian Tire was reviving him. His mind began clicking in place, as he headed to the kitchen appliances, it was the closest to them. Pots and pans gleamed on display, like holy implements of cookery. He stared at them hard, calculating the best costs, seeing what was on sale, what would be the easiest for Mac to maintain.

“You’re getting this set.” Edward pointed to a boxset of copper pots and pans. “And that cast iron skillet.” Edward bent down to lift the heavy boxset, grunting in effort. It was heavier than he thought.

“Chuck, stop.”

“Mac! You need pots with handles on them!” Edward grunted as he crab walked the box towards the shopping cart.

The box was suddenly lifted out of his arms, as Mac rolled his eyes, and easily placed it into the cart. “I’ll get the stuff, you point.”

“Oh.” A soft ‘oh’, a look of consideration, then, “Hmm am I supposed to be your…” Edward leant close to Mac to whisper this conspiratorially, “gay makeover?”

Mac snorted, “No, you’re supposed to help me get my shit together because the last time I was in charge of a home it was made out of animal hide.”

“Right.” Edward nibbled his lip as they navigated the maze of the kitchen area away from the pots and pans to the beverage accessories. “So… No one’s actually shown you how to housekeep?”

“Keep a house?”

“I mean all the nonsense like how to clean, and the types of comforts you don’t realize you need but when you have it you wonder how you lived without it before.”

“Like you know – having the double shower curtain, so the water doesn’t get out.”

“The double what now?”

“You’ll understand that particular one soon enough. I mean why didn’t you even bother to hire a cleaner?”

“No need to. Mess doesn’t bother me, not like anyone else comes to visit.” Mac’s words trailed off and he shot Edward a nervous quick glance as if he realized what he had just said.

Sensing the nervousness, Edward decided to let it slide. If Mac wanted to elaborate later, he could. “Well we need to make sure you get a kettle then. If there’s no tea in sight when the rest of the guys come over you know you’ll be in trouble.” They were standing in front of a selection of them, and he pointed towards a cordless kettle which was on sale.

“You’re right there. No need to be microwaving the mug.” Mac laughed as he grabbed the kettle carefully slotting it in beside the box of pots and pans.

They had moved out of the kitchen appliances to the aisle full of various cleaners. Rows upon rows of choices, each cleaner singing out their own praises in order to tempt the customer. Edward had to debate between sale and what he knew worked. He looked over to Mac, who was staring a little too hard at some Pledge, his brow slightly furrowed. Best not try new things, best stick to what he knew would work.

His hands darted out as he grabbed two different types of the same cleaner, “Do you care about smell?”

“Uh,” Mac was broken out of his reverie, looking at the choices before him. “Whatever you like Chuck.”

“Uh huhhh,” Edward decided to get both, handing the cleaners over to Mac, who neatly slid them into the cart, maximizing the space.

They had reached a section with discounted patio furniture, and Edward paused thoughtfully.

“Chuck it’s not the season for patios.”

“I know but… it’s on sale…” he nibbled his lower lip, and then moved towards a wicker chair with a cushion and sat in it. “Come try.”

Frowning slightly but in an action of trust, Mac sat down in an identical chair.

Wriggling, Edward let his head fall back, “I think this at least beats sitting on a beanbag with the beans falling out.”

“Hey! I’ll have ye know I’ve had that bag since like 1990! I’ve drug it around faithfully for over a decade, it’s my favourite chair!”

“It may be your favourite chair, but do you REALLY want to be playing Call of Duty with me snuggled half on your thigh as we try to share it?”

Narrowing his eyes, Mac stuck his tongue out. “Who says I have a second controller?”

“The one I literally saw in a heap on the floor?”

“Aw shit ye got me there.” Mac stretched out his legs, “I guess we could get one.”

“And that.”

“What?”

Edward was pointing to some sort of wicker loveseat. It was a different stain from the chair, not a matching set.

“Why?”

“So other people can sit their assess down somewhere.” Edward simply replied. He was looking around, wondering where the hell an attendant could be.

“Chucky, trying to find a Canadian Tire employee in the actual goddam store is like tryin’ to get a blow job for free from a hooker, not gonna happen.”

Except that Edward had sprung up from the seat and was halfway down the aisle, talking animatedly with an attendant, who nodded and disappeared.

Mac had no clue what was happening, until the attendant appeared with a flat dolly to load the patio furniture.

“I’ll have it by the front for when you’re ready to go.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate your help.”

Looking pleased as punch, Edward winked at Mac. “And let’s just say I’ve gotten a few freebies in my past.”

Jaw hanging open, Mac sputtered, and then laughed as he stood up. “Geezus.” His hands were back on the handle of the shopping cart, “Where to next, Chucky?”

“Uh bedding so I can sleep in a bed without half a pantry in it.” Edward teased.

“Hey kubasa is cured, it can keep.”

“Uh not for like a week in a bed!” Edward walked just fast enough to be outside of any chance of Mac jostling him. He hadn’t realized Mac had stopped, until he was about a few aisles down. A small surge of worry filled him as he wondered if he had gone too far.

Mac’s expression was hard to read; as he approached, he followed the man’s gaze. To his surprise it was at the paint chips.

“Mac?”

“Chuck… would it be weird to paint the living room?”

“Huh?” This was not at all what Edward expected.

Flushing slightly, Mac said, “I likes how your house is with the colours, but I don’t know how to goes about it.”

Gathering himself out of his shock, Edward nodded. “Sure… well we go look at paint chips and figure out colours…” he pulled a set of grey to black “Black walls? Express your true bituminous self?” he asked wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Holy fuck no, I stare at that shit all day at work, there is no friggin’ way I’m gonna be havin’ my living room be that colour!” Mac exclaimed as he aggressively moved past Edward, paused at the rainbow of colours and then plucked out a couple sheets in the yellow and orange range. “Give me the fucking sun all year round thank you very much.”

“But Mac! Look at these wonderful colours!” Edward managed to get out, stifling his giggles as Mac’s eyes registered the different chips in neon green, baby puke brown, and some sort of blinding hot pink.

“Ye must be nuts,” Mac snorted, a small smile playing on his lips, as if he was considering, “But maybe that shit brown could be a nice accent colour to…” he looked at the paint chips in his hands, concentrating, then nodded, “This soft buttercup yellow.”

“Ohh actually that’s a nice colour, I think we probably shouldn’t match it with shit brown.” Edward placed the rejected colours back, and after a moment, grabbed a sheet of various shades of white, “We could accent it with this eggshell? Unless you want to be bold with some soft light blue?”

“Blue’s getting a little out there but show me anyway.”

Taking a minute, Edward looked at all the light blues, before drawing three different cards, and holding them in turn next to the buttercup yellow. “This one – soft turquoise.”

Mac took the blue paint chip, and held it with the yellow, staring quietly for a long time. Long enough that Edward began to feel awkward standing there, waiting for his reply. Had he gone a little too off the deep end with the blue?

Mac’s gaze shifted from the paint chips to meet Edward’s eyes, and for an excruciating ten seconds simply held it. “Yeah sure, why the fuck not? Sun needs the sky, don’t it?”

The breath he hadn’t even known he was holding was let go, a broad smile breaking across Edward’s face. “Sure as hell does.”

Somehow, even though it was stupid, Edward felt like the stones he had been carrying around were being lifted, somehow being placed into that damned shopping cart between the kettle and the freshly mixed paint. Absolved of all his sins, as he joked with Mac, reminding himself that perhaps not everything had gone to hell since the New Years. That maybe there were other aspects of his life that were worthwhile, worth building. Worth using the stones he carried around to create a new base.

By the time they reach the till, Edward was pushing a second cart full of ‘essentials’, their banter loud and boisterous, their feet moving in a slight competition as to who could reach the till first. The bill is something Edward doesn’t want to know, but Mac doesn’t mind paying it. He jokes with the cashier, that his cousin is helping him get set up in life – help him get the chicks.

In a way he was looking forward to cleaning and painting and making the house a home together with Mac. Spending the time he never seemed to have before, with someone he feels (with some guilt) he may have been neglecting.

As they made their way out to the parking lot, snow crunching under the wheels of the cart, the gun grey sky dark with the weak sun, Edward took a deep breath in, allowing the tensions to release out of him. They loaded the truck together, carefully puzzling the furniture, trying to arrange all the cleaning products and shiny new kitchen items in the back seat. As Edward attempted to balance something, Mac frowned.

“Chuck, no, what the hell are you doing. Step back and let the master work.”

Before his eyes, he watched as Mac re-shifted everything, moving the packages and different shapes together in a nice tight satisfying puzzle. Somehow everything fit. Noticing Edward’s admiring look, Mac’s ears turned slightly red, “Probably spendin’ too much time on Tetris.”

“I’d say just enough time.”

As he returned the carts to the outdoor corral, Edward realized that maybe Mac had done him a favour. His concern and intolerance of the other man’s lifestyle had consumed his worries and fears about the future. It had given him a project, something with tangible goals to accomplish. A purpose in life. Turn Mac’s house into a home, a place that was no longer a place of transience. But it wasn’t only that. It was Mac shifting his life, wiggling a piece out there, putting a new one there, providing Edward with a fundamental shift in his self-flagellation.

Moving out of the parking lot, Edward in shotgun, the heater on full blast, he chanced a glance at the other man. The strong profile, the crooked nose, with a jaw which could probably be used to break rocks in between swigs of beer. Maybe this year won’t be as shitty as he feared.

#quatschfic #pc: edmonton #pc: ft mac #pc: fort mcmurray #hitchwork #warning: man mess

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