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#cw alcohol
xianyoon · 3 days
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@ the bar alhaitham x gn!reader. mdni with this post. no explicit sex but suggestive themes.
thinking of . . . modern!au alhaitham who brings you to the rooftop bar, straight in the heart of the city, after work.
imagine the indirect kisses shared over sneaky tastes of each other's drinks and lipstick stains on his glass of negroni – you can certainly feel him placing his broad hand on your thigh as he scopes out the other people in the room. it's a subtle acknowledgement that he's there not only as your companion, but as your guardian too.
think of the kisses that happen as you both lean over the railing, gazing down at the hustle and bustle of the city's nightlife happening on the ground. people start looking like ants ; nothing quite makes you feel as powerful as casting your gaze upon the city below.
you can see how alhaitham changes after a few drinks. he looks dazed – to most, he's the same alhaitham as ever – but he looks slightly off to you. drunk, tipsy, a reddened blush dusting his cheeks as he fans himself, lest he gets too hungry for a certain someone sitting across from him. calm him down, sweetheart ; you're the only ice pack that works. perch yourself sweetly on his lap and lean against his chest, and he'd hold you a little tighter in return.
alhaitham's tie soon comes off, pulled and stretched between his hands as he tenderly wraps it around his bandaged fists, putting it back in his work bag for laundry when he got home. his shirt's topmost button seems to find its way out of its hole – leaving a peek, a glimpse of his chest out for you. place a gentle hand on his chest, drag your finger down the middle lovingly, send a message to others that he's yours.
he stares down anyone else who tries to sneak a glimpse of you at your table. at first glance, alhaitham seems cold – calculative, unchanging – until he brings you into his embrace holding the back of your neck, pressing kisses all over and waiting for yours to make its mark on his cheek – marking him as yours. and you as his.
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spicerackofblorbos · 2 days
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Amethyst | Leon Kennedy x bartender!fem!reader
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☾ summary ➼ Your favorite customer finally returns after a mission. Your car broke down on the way into work, so he drives you home in the dead of night (morning?).
☾ content/warnings ➼ fluff, canon world, alcohol, alcohol consumption, cigarettes/smoking, fem!Reader
☾ wc ➼ 3.4k
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Being late for work was par for the course for you. Your car breaking down just fifteen minutes from your destination was purely coincidence. But the cold, bone-chilling rain that drenched you from head to toe was entirely your shitty luck.
The time read half an hour past your scheduled shift by the time you burst through the door that led from the back alley into the fluorescent lit employee office of the bar you worked at. Muffled laughter and music weaves from under the heavy bar door into the office. With a frustrated sigh, you shake the water from your hair. As you’re in the middle of pulling off your soaked through sweater, your name is called from behind.
“Where the fuck have you been?” The voice belongs to your manager, someone who has not missed a cigarette a day in her life. Before turning around, you roll your eyes then force a smile to hide your annoyance.
“I tried calling to warn you, but no one answered.” You retort, straightening out the moist tank top that ruffled up from taking off the extra layer. You glance over your shoulder at your unamused manager once settled.
“I was busy manning the bar that you should be behind right now.” She says back as she plops down into her desk chair with a huff. The sound of a metal scratching reverberates off the walls as they light a cigarette, the white paper tucked tightly between pinched lips. After taking a long drag, her eyes meet yours before demanding, “Get out there before I fire your ass.”
“You know you can’t, this place would fall apart without me.” You say sarcastically as you tie your apron around your waist. On your way out, you pass the mirror that you had propped up against a shelf so long ago. Tired eyes stare back at you, your hair practically dripping water down to your shoulders and chest. With a soft sigh, you push the heavy metal door and enter the busy bar.
As with most busy shifts, time flew by quickly. Your mind went into autopilot as you poured drinks, took food orders, and made small talk. The heated stares and flirty comments unfazed you because you knew they would lead to big tips. You aren't a stranger to using your body and kind smile for extra cash, being in this job for as long as you have.
About an hour before closing, the front door swings open followed by a pair of heavy boot steps and the door shutting closed. With your back turned, you’re in the middle of drying off some glasses to be set back on the rack. The bar has slowed to a crawl at this point with only a few patrons in the back talking quietly. The sound of a barstool sliding on the hardwood floor makes your ears twitch slightly.
“I’ll be with you in a moment.” You say over your shoulder, picking up another glass to dry.
“Is that how you greet your favorite customer?” Someone says. The gruff voice makes you pause, a wide smile slowly forming on your face.
“Well, I’ll be. I figured you skipped town considering how long it’s been, Kennedy.” You tease before turning around.
Leon Kennedy sits on the stool directly in front of you, dirty blond hair swept back from fingers and held there by rain. His icy blue eyes look up at you in amusement, the smile underneath them reflecting the same. A few day-old scratches mar his pretty skin.
“And what, leave the only bar that carries my drink of choice?” He crosses his arms over his broad chest and leans back into the chair with a smirk.
“You can get that shit anywhere, don’t even.” You laugh as you reach below the bar to grab a small glass. In no time, a few ice cubes mixed with a dark, amber liquid is placed in front of him.
“So. Where’d you go this time?” You lean an elbow on the hardwood, propping your chin up to watch Leon. He takes the glass with nimble fingers and pulls it to his lips, opting to take a tentative sip before speaking.
“Spain.” His lips pursed before taking another sip.
“Bring me anything good?”
His eyes glance at you over the rim of his glass. There’s a sparkle in them that you know all too well.
Leon, being a long-time patron of yours, meant getting to know him well. You knew everything from what he does in his spare time to what he had for dinner the night before. All except for his line of work.
He was an expert at dodging questions that related to it, so you learned to stop asking about it. All you knew was that he traveled and would sometimes come back looking like he got the shit beaten out of him.
“Unfortunately, the plane crashed on the way here. Lost everything.” He shrugs, his lips twitching at the corners. “I was the only survivor.”
“Shame, would’ve been cooler had you lost a limb at least.”
“Ouch.”
You place a hand out expectantly, staring at him. About 9 months into being a regular, he started bringing you little gifts he saw during his travels. There’s even a shelf in your apartment dedicated to the weird and niche trinkets he gave you. In return, you gave him company and a few drinks on the house.
Leon rolls his eyes before setting his glass down and shifting so he can reach into his back pocket. Without effort, he pulls out something small and places it into your outreached hand.
At first glance, you notice the sparkle that reflects off the smooth surface. The dim lighting from the bar doesn’t offer much, but it was enough. You pinch the item, slightly bigger than a thimble, between your thumb and forefinger before putting it up towards the light and closer to your face to get a better look.
It’s a purple stone of some sort, imperfected by scratches and pock marks. No, not just any stone. It’s a gem. And it’s gorgeous.
“Leon, where did you go to find this?” You whisper with wonder. Your fingers twist the gem so that the light reflects off the surfaces radiantly.
“Found it in a small village.” Leon replies nonchalantly as he picks up his glass and takes another sip.
You tuck the gemstone in your palm and close your hand tightly, feeling the edges of it dig into your skin.
“This is wonderful, thank you!”
“Yeah, yeah. I knew you’d kick me if I didn’t bring you something back.”
Little did you know that every mission Leon goes on, he always has you on his mind. Even with the hell he goes through, he is always on high alert for something you might like. So far, he hasn’t failed.
“Damn right, I would have. That’s why you’re my favorite customer.” You laugh as you carefully slip it into your coin purse for safe keeping.
The last few patrons wave at you as they head out into the night, their jackets pulled over their heads to hide from the torrential downpour. As the front door shuts behind them, you hear the angry roar of the wind and rain as it slams down.
At this point, your manager had left you to close up for the night, so it's just you and Leon. The whole place is quiet now, bar for the classic rock playing on the speakers above.
“Are you planning on staying for another round or��?” You ask, raising an eyebrow at your blonde-haired patron.
“If you don't plan on kicking me out, sure. Can I buy you a drink?” Leon smirks again before tipping back the rest of his drink. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.
“If you're actually paying, sure.” You roll your eyes with a smile. You set your towel you were using to dry glasses onto the countertop then make your way to the front door.
Like every night, you lock the door, pull down the door blinds, and unplug the open sign. It's so dark outside that you can see your reflection clear as day. Without thinking, you find yourself grooming your hair out and straightening up your clothes.
“You were gone for a while. Any idea when you're heading back out?” You ask as you make your way back behind the bar. You busy your hands with two drinks this time, one for him and one for you.
“Hopefully not for a while. The last business trip was a… big one for lack of a better word. My superiors told me they needed time to get things in order, but I think it's just their way of telling me to take a vacation.” Leon grumbles, mindlessly playing with his cocktail straw. Despite the size of his hands, his fingers move with careful intent.
You can't help the way your heart jumps in excitement to hear he'd be staying longer than a few days this time. One time, he was gone for a few months and you thought he moved away. You didn’t expect him to come just to say goodbye to you, but you were disappointed nonetheless.
“Well, that's good. You could use a vacation. You're practically growing gray hairs already.” You tease. The drinks you made for the two of you are ones you've made plenty of times, so it takes you no time to finish up. You slide Leon his glass before taking your own and sipping on it. The alcohol burns down your throat and warms your insides.
“You would like that, wouldn't you? By the way, where's your car? I didn't think you were in tonight when I saw it missing from the parking lot.”
“Were you looking for me specifically? I'm flattered, Leon.” A small laugh escapes you before settling back down, wincing at the memory of seeing your old beaten car stranded on the side of the road. “She died on me on the way here. I had to walk in the rain for this shift.” It was your turn to fiddle with your cocktail straw.
You were so busy talking up strangers all night to even think about how you'd get home. By this hour, you don't expect any of the cab companies to be open.
As if reading your mind, Leon raises an eyebrow and asks, “How do you plan on getting home?” His voice has dropped its teasing tone, now full of concern.
“Eh, I'll figure it out. It's nothing you need to worry yourself over.” You swat your hand in the air in a dismissive manner, smiling at his thoughtfulness.
“It's almost 3 A.M.” He states, as if that would change anything.
“I know! I'm sure if I call my manager or someone…” You trail off, thinking.
“I’ll take you home.”
There's a pause as your eyes glance over to him to see if he's joking. His face is emotionless from what you could tell, and his voice did sound genuine.
“I couldn't do that to you. It's really out of the city, and besides you've had 3 drinks.” You point at the empty glasses off to the side, now filled with light amber liquid from the ice melting into the remnants of alcohol.
“Nonsense. This is just a quarter of the amount needed to get me even buzzed. I'm fine.” His eyes meet your skeptical ones. “But, if it makes you feel better, we can hang out here for an hour or so and then I'll take you home. Who would I be if I left you with some weird stranger or walking home in this weather?” Leon leans back in his chair, the old wood underneath him groaning at the shift in weight.
You stand with your arms crossed, pursing your lips in thought. You really did not want to inconvenience him this way, and making him wait even longer seemed like too much to ask for.
Your eyes scan his face for any regret for what he said, but you don't find any. Instead, you find worry etched into his forehead creases and downturned eyes.
“Fine. But I'm giving you money for gas.” You say, pointing at him.
“Deal.”
.
As promised, Leon stayed with you for an hour. About half an hour in, you realized he really was okay to drive, but he insisted on staying just in case.
You both spent that time chatting, more from your side than him. He had asked what you've been up to while he was gone and at one point probed to see if you had started dating anyone, to which you scoffed at. Even if there was someone interested in you, they would never hold a candle to Leon. You didn't know that he’s held the same thought for a while now.
On your way out of the office after changing back into your now damp sweater and gathering the bar keys, you catch yourself in the mirror again. Compared to hours before when you were disheveled and wet, you're now content – no doubt because of the company you've had for the past few hours. With a soft sigh, you flip off the lights and close the door shut behind you. Leon stands at the front with his hands in his pockets, waiting for you.
“Got everything?” He asks.
“I think so. I made out like a bandit tonight with tips.” You joke as you brush past him to the front door, unlocking it so you can both leave.
“What, really? You mean, other people like you?”
“Oh ha ha, very funny. I’m a very likeable person.”
Leon follows you out and waits for you to close up behind yourself. Everything locks with a click. When you turn around, you're faced with a mostly barren parking lot being completely wrecked with rain. It seems the heavy clouds haven't let up yet. Leon's little classic car sits at the edge of the lot closest to the road.
“Wait here, I'll swing by to get you.” Leon says as digs for his car keys.
“It’s just rain, I will live.” You roll your eyes, meeting his gaze. The hazy streetlight casts a soft glow against his face as he gives you a lopsided grin.
“Absolutely not. Stay.” He orders before ducking and running straight for his car.
You don't know why, but you find yourself obeying and planting your feet into the concrete. Under the small awning, you're safe from the rain, but not the cold. A cold wind blows through, sending shivers throughout your whole body as you wait. Leon's headlights flicker on and before you know it, he's pulling up, the passenger side door facing you.
You tighten your jacket around your shoulders and make quick work of getting into the car, throwing open the door and sliding into the leather seat before shutting it quickly. The rain patters on the roof, muffled from the metal barrier. Despite the old look of Leon's car, the interior is quite nice and clean.
“Is this one of your projects?” You ask in wonder, trailing your fingers along the dashboard. Your eyes cut to Leon's face and instantly your face gets warm.
His swept hair now darkened from the rain hangs in his face, water dripping onto his soaked clothes. He’s dismissed his leather jacket, now only wearing a black shirt that sat flush against his skin due to the wet material. Even in the dim lighting of the center console, you can see his well-toned muscles in his chest and stomach. And his arms, oh man.
You force your eyes away once you realize how long you must have been staring. Leon looks away as well and you can't see, but his face flushes as well. He’s quick to put the gear in drive and start for the main road.
“It is, yeah. I've spent the most time on this one. What do you think?” he asks.
“I'm not a car person, but it's nice. It's very… you.” You say softly, looking out the passenger window. You don't elaborate further as you're not entirely sure what you mean by that, it just sounded right.
Leon huffs in amusement, smiling to himself. He reaches over to the volume dial of his radio and turns it up, allowing the sound of classic rock to fill the comfortable space. As the drive goes, you give Leon step by step directions to your house.
“I didn’t realize you lived so far away.” Leon says after a bit, slowing down at a stop sign. It had been almost an hour since the car left your place of employment. He waits a few seconds before pulling forward, no traffic in sight at such a late hour.
“Yeah, it’s quite a drive. My car was on its last leg when I got it off the lot, so it makes sense to have died on me. I just wish it waited for a sunny day or something.” You grumble into your palm which you had pressed up against your face, propping you up as you watched the streetlights flash by.
The nice suburban homes slowly transitioned into older family style homes. Many houses were dark, their lawns peppered with decorative trinkets or kids’ toys left behind to be played with on another day.
“Ah, the one on the right just after this intersection.” You sit up and point to the one you’re talking about. Leon effortlessly pulls into the one car driveway, the headlights reflecting bright off the light blue paneling.
“Cute home.” Leon says, leaning back in his seat. He flexes his fingers as if they were sore. It makes you wonder again what he does for work.
“Thanks. It was uh, my grandmother’s. Before she passed.” You say softly, unbuckling your seatbelt. You meet Leon’s blue gaze once again and smile at him appreciatively. “Thanks for taking me home.”
Finally, it seems the worst of the rain had passed. A light drizzle now takes its place, much softer and less angry. You pop open the heavy door and start to slide out before stopping yourself.
“Hey, uh. I mean, I know we’re not strangers or anything, but I understand it’ll be weird to ask since we’ve only talked at the bar… but would you like to come in maybe? I’d hate for you to drive back home on so little rest.” You don’t look at him as you say these words, feeling the heat flush into your face.
It was forward to even suggest such a thing, but you truly felt bad for dragging his night out longer than planned. And you would feel even worse if he got into a car accident because of his exhaustion.
“Oh, uh. I mean, I don’t want to put you out or an-“ he starts but you cut him off abruptly, finally able to sneak a glance. His eyes are wide, but more in surprise and less of disgust, which is what you were expecting to find.
“No!” You clear your throat before continuing, “No, it’s not a problem. It’s the least I can do since you drove all this way. It’s almost five in the morning, and I have a couch.” You say quickly.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. U-unless you don’t want to or can’t or whatever.” You say, suddenly shy and appalled at your audacious suggestion. The thought that he might have had a partner hadn’t crossed your mind until now, and your heart hurts at it.
“It’s really kind of you, and I think I will take you up on that. I’m more exhausted than I thought.” He groans as he stretches a little in his seat, but suddenly stops as he whips his head in your direction. “Not saying I regret spending my time with you, of course. It’s been nice to catch up. I just-“
“It’s okay, Kennedy, I know it’s because of work. Did you just get back into town or something?”
“Yeah, came straight to the bar as soon as the plane landed.”
“Damn, you must have really missed those drinks.” You laugh softly. The leather seat squeaks as you push yourself out of the car finally, facing the cool mist that hits your face. You take a moment to stretch, your body creaking from the long drive, before shutting the passenger door with a gentle slam.
Leon chuckles to himself softly before shutting off the ignition and unbuckling himself.
“Yeah, the drinks.” He whispers.
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please do not copy, repost, or translate. everything but the characters and world belong to me, @spicerackofblorbos. if you liked it, reblogs and comments are always appreciated!!
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dragonflavoredcake · 3 days
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Tango: We're going to drink Zed's magic thinking juice until we figure out what to do. Xisuma: Zed's magic thinking juice? Tango: Death Wish coffee mixed with whiskey. Xisuma: That would explain the time you nailed a grand piano to the ceiling. Zedaph: Did it or did it not fit in the room that way, Mister Complainy?
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@aro-patton HERE IS THE COMPANION ART TO YOUR GIFT FIC
WITH BONUS SKETCH UNDER THE CUT
And I shall reblog with a link to the fic
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gemfeathers · 1 month
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Get drunk, make out, laugh until you're sore, cry until you're sick. I want to do it all. Let's get through this crumbling world together, happy valentines day.
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bisexualgoth · 10 months
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bonus: say in the tags how old u were in the tags + what's your legal drinking age or, if u never drunk before, feel free to say your age too + why, if you have a reason why you don't drink!
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felsicveins · 3 months
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The road to forgiveness is paved with miles of bullying
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bamsara · 3 months
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Doodles for the Drunken Gods chapter in TROD
'sorry about accidentally reviving some memories and causing you to have a bit of a mental breakdown. do you wanna eat some pomegrante about it?'
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syoddeye · 1 month
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Lightly edited. 600 words. CW: alcohol, possessive behavior, implied stalking
You stopped sharing location with John Price.
He's a busy man. Too busy for you lately, it seems. The usual tricks, the old reliables, no longer seem to capture his attention anymore. You wonder if there's someone else.
You do it after he texts you yet another short, unapologetic message. He's working late tonight. Don't wait up.
You won't.
It's been ages since you indulged in a favorite pastime: reading at the bar. A habit of yours since school. You dress up for your own enjoyment, pluck the book that's sat on top of your to-read pile for months, and find a spot at the bar of your old haunt. Cocktail in hand, you lose yourself in the story.
Three drinks later, a hand settles on the counter beside your glass, connected to a thick arm testing the thickness of a denim jacket. A voice made rough with smoke curls in your ear and sends a shiver down your spine.
Should've checked here first. You were just sayin' you missed this place.
Heat you want to believe that's only from the liquor creeps up your chest and claws at your throat.
Woulda been easier to find you if you hadn't, you know.
You're embarrassed when you think back to when John first convinced you to enable the feature. You didn't share that information with anyone, and the idea of someone watching you felt gross. It took quite a bit of cajoling for him to persuade you, going on and on about how he only wants what is best for you, to keep you safe. Knowing where you are at all times is part and parcel of a relationship with him.
He's smiling. There's warmth in his features, the upturned corner of his mouth, and the slight scrunch of his nose, but his eyes are matte. Dull even in the dim light of the bar. He's fuming.
John sits beside you and drapes an arm over the back of your seat. He waves down the barkeep with the other. You finally find your words, humiliated that the first thing you think to say is an apology, and that you two can go back to yours. He shushes you. 
No, love, go ahead. Finish your chapter. Mind if I borrow your phone? Used up the battery on mine, you see.
You've never seen his phone below 60%, but you fork it over anyway, and he gestures for you to return to your book. You re-read the same paragraph a dozen times before giving up. He sips his drink, unhurried, catching your eye and giving a wink before he slides the device back to you.
There. All better.
There's a new icon on your home screen. It's unfamiliar, and when you reflexively tap it, it asks for a passcode. Your mouth dries.
Can't have you making more impulsive decisions like that, eh? 
The arm slung over the stool migrates to your shoulders, and his hand gently clamps over the nape of your neck, thumb swiping over the skin.
I haven't been giving you the attention you deserve lately, have I. S'pose that's why you pulled a little stunt like this. Wanted me to come hunt you down, find you sitting pretty at a bar, hm?
He laughs when you stutter and try to defend your decision but glowers when you quietly comment you were worried someone else was keeping his attention.
If you're finished reading, think we'll spend the night at mine, sweetheart. Show you you're the only one for me.
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jayevrd · 3 months
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hes gettin a little silly
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shapelytimber · 3 months
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Hello stranger and welcome, to my lesbian art master post
Tumblr gifted me a blaze, and I had no idea what to do with it for the longest time. But then it hit me... I could just repost every sapphic art I did in 2023. So enjoy !
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youtube
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Sith Milfs
Ikkons magazine cover illustration
My 50yo comic teacher doesn't know what lesbians are
Y2K Star wars with mean lesbian Maul
A taste of faith
Pussy adventure
A visit from the moth lady
Third animation of the vampire ladies
Girls night out !!
Wine wives
Bull cowgirl and magical cowboy
Butch Colombo having a divorce with a typewriter
Stand high lesbians
[PRINTS] - [COMMISSIONS]
Hey thank you for taking the time to scroll to the end ! It means a lot to me <3
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pupkashi · 10 months
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I’m tipsy and all i can think of satoru being an absolute flirt when you’re completely fucking drunk and you’re looking at him across the room telling your friends you think he’s soooo cute
“hi” you smile, a little out of breath and has it always been that hot in here ?
“hello” he flashes you a dazzling smile, his blue eyes just barely peeking out from under his glasses
“my friend over there thinks you’re reallllly cute” you giggle, pointing at a wall then running to stand there, looking in the opposite direction and waving at him nonchalantly.
you run back to where he is giggling, satoru can only smile at your antics.
“i think your friend is very pretty” youre blushing at his words, already placing a hand in his chest as you giggle.
“well, my friend thinks you’re very attractive” you smile, pulling on his collar and smiling, “you single?” You ask.
gojo sucks his teeth, tsk’ing before he replies, “i actually have a very wonderful, amazing, beautiful, partner.” you pout at his words, trying to think of what to say in your drunken state.
“They’re so lucky,” you reply after a moment, you’re turning around before you hear him laugh loudly, your wrist is being grabbed and the world is moving too fast.
suddenly you’re in his firm arms, your face squished against his chest as he giggles, kissing the top of your head.
“but your partner!” you panic, ready pushing yourself away from the handsome man.
“you wouldn’t mind sweet thing” he mumbles, not waiting another second before pressing his lips against yours.
the room is spinning when you pull away, smiling and blushing before you’re running to the nearest trash can and throwing up. satoru is there in seconds holding your hair and rubbing your back.
it isn’t until the next morning when you wake up with a headache, groaning as you hear your boyfriends voice running loudly in your ear.
“good morning! hope you remember who i am now sweets” satoru giggles as you groan at his voice, pulling the blanket over your head.
“what happened last night” you groaned as he pulled the blanket gently from over your head, “one too many shots of vodka sweetheart” he mumbled as he handed you an protein bar and some ibuprofen.
“you also forgot we were dating” he smiled and your face flushed in embarrassment, “what the hell did i do” you mumble, rubbing your eyes.
“you hit on me” he laughs and you groan, wrapping your hand around his neck and pulling him down to lay next to you.
“stop talking, just cuddles” you mumble, closing your eyes before drifting off to sleep again.
satoru can only smile at your drowsy state, kissing your forehead before deciding one closing his eyes and falling asleep with you.
he deserved it after staying up all night with you talking to him about how your lover was so perfect, and throwing up between compliments.
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surelyyourejesting · 9 months
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500 septim shein haul. is this anything
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spookyflavors · 9 months
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Sam (Spooky) and Sans celebrate 2,000 follower milestone~!!! Thank you all so much!! ; A ;
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catcze · 2 months
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Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!
「 ### : 」 Modern AU ish !! GN Reader gets drunk at the club !! But Navia and Clorinde stay with you through it tho, because they're your good friends !! This is literally just humor and reader not recognizing Wrio but gushing over your husband so so much !! Reader swears when drunk bc same lmao
Had a vision. No editing. Feast on this while I feast on my Nissin Bulalo cup noodles.
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The moment Wriotheseley steps into the club, he immediately spots you. Even over the painful strobing lights, the sea of dancing bodies, he can single you out a mile away— regardless of the fact that you're slumped over the bar, drunk out of your mind.
"Navia, Clorinde," he greets with a wave, hurrying over. His voice has to be almost a yell to be heard over the loud music.
They sit on either barstool beside you, bracketing you between them. When he approaches, Clorinde hands him your phone, and he knows who he has to thank for the 'come pick your bae up' text. The moment he's close enough, he's already looking you over, making sure you're alright.
"Sweetheart," Wriothesley tries to rouse you, but you just mumble and splay out further on the bar. Your hand knocks into a mostly-emptied glass of what he can only assume was tonight's poison of choice.
"How many—"
"More than five," Navia tells him, grinning sheepishly, just as Clorinde says, "Nine."
Your husband shakes his head fondly, sighing, and turns back to you. "Sweetheart," he tries again, voice a bit louder. He places a heavy hand on your waist, coaxing you up. "Let's g—"
But at the touch, your eyes —still hazy and unfocused on account of the nine drinks you've had— shoot open, and you whirl on him in your seat. If not for the hold he still keeps on your hip, you may have just toppled over. There's a look of unbridled, drunken rage on your face, more comical than actually terrifying.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" you hiss, slurring, as you wrench his hand off of you and fling it away with such contempt that he has to stifle a laugh. "Keep your hands off of the masterpieces, bucko."
Not even giving him a moment to breathe, you shove your left hand in his face, vehemently pointing at the ring that sits on your fourth finger. "I! Am! Married! If I tell my husband that you're out here getting handsy, he's gonna come and kick your ass sooo hard. He's gonna rock your shit, you trick ass bitch, if i don't do it myself!"
Wriothesley shouldn't find this funny— he shouldn't. But Navia and Clorinde and fighting smiles behind their palms themselves, and he can't help the grin that breaks across his face.
"Oh? Is your husband that strong?" He can't help but ask, and you scoff.
"Is he that strong— you wanna find out for yourself? Huh? Wriothesley could— could—" you hiccup, and he has to fight the urge to coo. "He could knock you out with just a flick of his fingers, you know!"
"And is your Wriothesley more handsome than me?"
You turn your nose up at him, scowling. Once, twice, you try to cross your arms in contempt as you drunkenly look him up and down.
"You're alright," you begrudge, "but my Wriothesley is the— the most handsomest man in the world! The fucking prettiest! No one holds a candle to my husband and his broad shoulders and his thick thighs and his... and his adorable smile."
Wriothesley has to bite his lip to control his grin. Navia is fighting for her life to stifle her giggles, and Clorinde hides her amused smile behind a cough.
It's like that loosened your tongue though, and you continue on, oblivious to the embarrassment you'd face the next morning.
"And he— he'll be very upset when he finds out that you're here, hitting on someone who is very happily married to one of the best men on this side of the fucking galaxy, so— so you can fuck off!"
He really, really tries his best to not laugh.
You huff, patting down your pockets and grumbling incoherently about your phone, not even questioning it when Wriothesley hands it back to you himself. It takes only a second of you furiously tapping your screen before his own phone buzzes in his pants.
[Sweetheart ♡]
babe pookie pick e ip plrase im drunk and i wanna go homd snd yhere's this assholr hitting o me love yoy [location attached]
As soon as the texts go out though, you yawn and the energy leaves you in one fell swoop. Wriothesley manages to catch you before you face plant back on the bar and break your nose, maneuvering you to lean into his chest. The fight escaping you, you nuzzle into his black button up, rubbing your face against him like a big cat.
"Mmm. I know that cologne." Blearily, you look up and make eye contact with those pretty, pretty blue eyes, and your face immediately lights up in the most delighted grin. "Wrio!" you gasp, arms coming to wrap around his waist and pull him towards you. You're still drunk, still pretty out of it, but it melts his heart how overjoyed you are to see him.
"Hi sweetheart," he says fondly, running a hand through your hair. Happily, you lean into his touch. "Have a fun time with Navia and Clorinde?"
"Mhm. Missed you though." Then, your eyes pop open and you sit up, looking around furiously as if you're looking for someone. When you don't find this person, you lean in to whisper conspiratorially in his ear— "There was this guy who tried to make the moves on me, you know! But I told him that I'm super duper married and with the bestest husband ever— if you wanna double team him, I'm sure the guy's around here somewhere."
But your husband just chuckles, pulling you back into his embrace. Smoothly, Wriothesley has you wrap your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist so he can easily pick you up and into his arms.
"You two need a ride home?" He asks the two, but they shake their heads.
"Appreciated, but we only split a drink between us," Clorinde says, already standing up alongside Navia. "We'll be fine."
"Get home safe, you two!" The blonde says, waving you off, and that's that.
Wriothesley easily maneuvers the two of you out of the club, you having already fallen asleep on his shoulder. He can hear your soft breaths in his ear and feel the way you cling to him even in your sleep. No doubt you'd have a raging hangover tomorrow, but that's okay— because you'll have him to take care of you, too.
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Bonus!!
You wake up to hands down the worst fucking headache in your whole life. Your temple hurts so hard that you swear your head's gonna crack open like an egg. Groaning, you pull the covers over your head and roll over, blotting out the mid-day sunlight as best as you can.
There's a chuckle from the other side of the bed, then weight moving across the sheets— then your husband's face appears in front of you, under the blankets too.
"So, darling sweetheart of mine" he starts, voice soft as to not aggravate your headache, and you're grateful. "What were you saying about my broad shoulders and my thick thighs?"
You're suddenly not as grateful.
Promptly, you kick him out of your blanket cave, and he goes with a laugh. He leaves you grumbling on the bed, cursing out all the drinks you had last night and swearing to never ever ever drink again.
Wriothesley grins, shutting the curtains of your bedroom as he ambles out the door, dead set on getting you water, advil, and something to eat.
Maybe by the end of the day, you'd add 'endlessly doting' to the list.
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