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#cw for d3pression and suic1dal ideat1on and all the stuff
viverridae
·
3 years
Text
#time to SadPost™️ in the tags again
#cw for d3pression and suic1dal ideat1on and all the stuff
#looked at job listings bc i’m. starting to hate my job.
#bc i can’t do enough to keep up and even though i’ve been doing my best
#aka 5 fucking months of 6 day workweeks. these past few months almost every shift has been 9+ hours no breaks
#but i’m not enough. i can’t keep up.
#the senior baker that quit 5 months ago WAS able to keep up. and all the expectations to fill her role have fallen to me
#but i’m not her. i can barely do half the work that she did
#and i was thinking it was just that my workplace was the problem
#but when i went looking for job listings. they ALL sound like too much
#and i just
#idk.
#i think. getting this job was a mistake
#i think if i’d just stayed where i was. in that filthy place with that filthy man
#i could have been brave enough to have k1lled myself by now
#but i didn’t. i got the job. i moved. and now i have like. more things worth living for
#and it doesn’t feel good.
#i wish i had nothing tying me here. i wish i didn’t have hope or determination or pride
#i wish i could just fucking do it
#anyway. yeah you could say the job isn’t going great
#but whatever. 6 months from now i’m going part time
#and in august i’m taking two weeks off
#usually the bakers just figure that out between us and we don’t need to put in a request for Official time off but
#it doesn’t look like my boss is really trying to hire another baker even though we desperately need one
#and when august comes. if it’s still only the 3 of us. they won’t let me take that time off
#bc that’s too much work for them. i know this
#and i don’t care. i’m going to fill out the official time off request form
#so that when it’s approved. it’s in writing. and no one can accuse me of not giving them fair warning
#bc i told them abt it months ago
#anyway. anyway. all i have to do is keep going
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