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#cw unreality
dr-malcom-practice · 3 days
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Ahhhhhhh what a nice nap
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pigswithwings · 11 months
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what if aquatic animals had Tumblr would that be fucked up or something lmaooo anyways
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🌿 mx-seagrxss Follow
mating season is such a chore. wdym i have to migrate back ten thousand miles just to find some bitches
🐟 thatsalmonboy Follow
outta my way gayboy I'm boutta get it
🐟 thatsalmonboy Follow
i have been transformed into a creature beyond my wildest imaginations
1,284 notes 🔁❤️
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🎣 cardinesan Follow
uhhh was nobody going to talk about how the new update makes the site virtually unusable for crustaceans ???
🌊 pelagic-tragic Follow
honestly even if we tell staff you know they're not going to do anything. crustaceans make up such a small percentage of oceanblr right now that it's going to be impossible to get them to care. the treatment of anyone who isn't a bony fish on this website is atrocious tbh
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🌑 the-midnight-zoom
oh my cod its so dark down here why do i have such piss poor eyesight. if my eyes could open any wider id be doing that but nooo my house in the god damn depths says get fucked. not even my cousin in that one cave has to put up with this wtf
🔦 anglerfished Follow
hey come here for a second
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🦑 a-sinkingsquid Follow
absolutely freaking out right now you frys don't understand ... There's another squid at this whale fall and she's really really cute! I want to talk to her so bad but I'm scared as all hell ... what if she thinks I'm trying to eat her and swims away ? ?
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🐋 girlwhaletail Follow
shipping discourse is sooo pointless like? you argue about ships? ⛵ those things that sound really loud & pass by me everyday? 🛳️ whoo whoo?
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🐌 justasnailfish Follow
where is every one ..
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destiel-news-channel · 3 months
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Because Halloween is trending for no reason on Christmas Eve...
[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'It's Halloween!' to Cas' 'I love you'. /End ID]
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This is me wishing y'all a Merry Chrysanthemum!
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maddie-w-draws · 1 year
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If only we had the time
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kingtheghast · 2 months
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woah crazy story
(text version below)
AITA for killing my boss even though he asked (before anyone comes for me he’s fine now)
so i (33M, green) got hired by this guy (45M, green now red) running an enchanting business because i accidentally used his things when i saw his stuff laying around as he was still working on his shop. i was just in it to sort of repay the service i used but then we became friends. thing is he also had these really sketchy guys from the desert that wanted to undercut him hard by taking over the business and all his enchants, and they would keep perstering him about it, breaking and entering, etc etc (my boss wasn't the type of guy to stick up for himself very much so it kind of happened a lot).
but the big thing was when they planted a bomb at the entrance to the building where the shop was. this pissed my boss off a lot because they made him go from green to yellow, and he said he had a plan, but he wouldn't tell me what it was.
and then one day he comes out with a really nice axe that he gifts me (i thought it was cool) but then it turns out he'd basically built a sacrificial altar in the patio outside the shop (not cool). then he turns to me, and asks me to kill him. i didn't want to do it because i'm green and he's yellow but he's also my boss and im supposed to listen, and then he's also my friend so i decided to trust him on this and so i just went along and cut off his head.
and now EVERY friend of my boss is blowing up my messages asking why i did that. i tried to say that i had no choice because he literally told me to do it and he's just on red now, not permadead, but nobody wants to believe me and i think there's someone already coming over. they're my boss' friends but also if they try to get at me i will fight back. but also it would make my boss upset and he trusts me a lot. i feel bad for killing my boss but he told me to do it so i don't think it's wrong?
aita?
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Enough is enough. The violence has to stop.
In the past week alone, there have been 106 incidents of cartoon shenanigans that have left people with severe injuries.
18 cases of anvils dropped on peoples' heads.
5 cases of pianos crashing down onto people.
23 cases of people lighting cigars to then realize they're holding a stick of dynamite.
41 people have gotten trapped under boxes after being lured by a tasty treat.
19 cases of people running into brick walls that were painted to look like the road continuing and then become as flat as a pancake.
I'm begging my followers to PLEASE be careful. It's an incredibly dangerous time for silly little guys to be out and about. Remember to keep your hammer space packed full of everything you might need in a situation-- do NOT forget your comically large weapon, you need to protect yourself out there.
Stay safe <3
**Bugs B*nny Apologists DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT**
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supersapphical · 7 months
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On the one hand, I hate to spread unverified information. On the other hand, I miss the drama and I really want this Not So Rogue Translator thing to be real.
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wifestock · 3 months
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auuurrruff!!!
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theboombutton · 2 months
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Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed. The scariest movie I have ever seen.
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bluebellhairpin · 8 months
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Idk what you're all on about. Goncharov is a real movie?? Zepotha is fake as fuck we all know that, but I thought we've all seen Goncharov???? I've seen Goncharov?????? I will never forget the pure cinema changing power the last scenes had on me as I sat listening to Lacrimosa as the credits started to roll. I WILL NEVER FORGET.
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martyrbat · 7 months
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gotham war? failsafe? tom taylor? batgirl getting defeated by harley fucking quinn and oracle can walk again? dude what are you talking about, a massive earthquake just hit gotham city!!! its crazy, they're calling it no man's land! cmon buddy, theyre all waiting for us at the comic shop. we're gonna pool our allowances together and share so we all get to experience this exciting new arc :)
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pigswithwings · 4 months
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A Guide On Lessening Yourself
(Or, What To Do Before They Cut You Open)
This guide has been created to prepare you for your upcoming procedure. Please read carefully and follow all directions in order to have the safest experience.
RECOMMENDATIONS:
- Do not eat. (Required; at least 3 hours before the procedure starts. No meats, no vegetables, no grains, and especially no fruits. Any remaining food that is being digested will get in the way.)
- Do not drink. (Required; at least 2 hours before the procedure starts. No water, soda, juice, soup, milk, coffee, or energy drinks. Any remaining fluids will get in the way.)
- Do not bleed. (Required; at least 1 month before the procedure. No paper cuts, nosebleeds, injuries or other form of your own blood leaving your body. Restriction of the expression of your mortality is imperative.)
- Do not dream. (Strongly suggested; at least 1 month before the procedure starts. No daydreams, no hopes, no wishes, no lifelong goals, and no nightmares. Avoid losing yourself within any fantastical trappings - these are the vestiges of a mortal mind.)
TIPS:
BEFORE
- Make sure to confirm your procedure date. Whether by checking online, asking your doctor, or praying, it's of utmost importance that you remember the specific time and day of your event.
- Make certain that this procedure is for you.
Though the process has already been scheduled, you still have options if you're unsure. Asking God or previous patients are the most authentic ways to learn about this process. Consider the benefits and consequences of the procedure as a whole - this will undoubtedly affect your life, but will it be more negative rather than positive? Will you be able to be happy again? If you are willing to accept such possibilities, continue on. Should you choose to, however, you may still opt out before the scheduled date by telling your doctor and/or healthcare provider.
DURING
- Make sure to arrive early to your procedure. Timeliness is key.
- Be flexible with your interviewers. Many angels are unfamiliar with human languages and may instead choose to communicate directly inside your mind. This may cause discomfort as well as the feeling of being stripped into nothingness. Don't panic and remember that you deserve a chance at holiness, regardless of your humanity.
- Be polite. Though your angel interviewers may have already visited Earth before, human customs are often difficult to adjust to. If an interviewer makes a social faux pas (such as revealing their true form), brush it off and continue the conversation as best you can.
- Be prepared for any questions regarding your past attachments, relationships, possessions, etc. If you've prepared well, you'll be able to answer with full honesty that you have left all possible remnants of humanity behind - that means no mistakes, no regrets, and no emotions.
- Should you pass the interview (you will be told after they have finished), be ready to experience anywhere from a small to large amount of pain. This experience usually lasts around 20 seconds, but some say it feels like an eternity of blinding, searing light. The scale of your pain will be a direct result of how successful you were at stripping away your humanity; the agony that follows will be the angels burning it off of you.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait thought it.
- Wait through it.
- Wait
AFTER
- If you've successfully passed the interview, survived the procedure, and become an angel, congratulations! The following tips are only suggestions, but may help you in adjusting to your new existence.
- Avoid brightening your divine light too much at once. You'll quickly realize that your new eyes are far more adjusted to light than a human's, making the world appear dimmer than before.
- Avoid speaking out loud to others for the first few millenium, as this may cause harm if done incorrectly. Instead, practice "speaking" through the visual and audible expression of abstract concepts.
- Don't expect to visit Earth again. More often than not, angels avoid the human world (most say it's too painful to linger), so it's very unlikely that you'll return. Don't come back if you possibly can.
Finally, enjoy your new status as part of the divine. Not many people get to experience the feeling - you have made it! Please enjoy the rest of infinity.
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i-was-only-a-dream · 15 days
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destiel-news-channel · 3 months
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Triple Holiday!!!
[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'It's Thanksgiving!' to Cas' 'I love you'. /End ID]
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buggachat · 1 year
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man this Alliance thing sure is great. a real game changer
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midnightnautilus · 1 month
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Hey there! So y’all over at @adventures-for-drowsytown have really unlocked a core memory for me XD
I remember my parents recorded a couple episodes on VHS! But I evidently did not take good care of them - it took me a few weeks to get the footage onto digital from Walgreens, and even then the footage was mostly corrupted. But I did manage to get a clip in pretty condition - that yellow guy someone said was teaching about time? I think this was a whole educational segment he did. Really weird out of context… though I seem to remember there was another guy there he was talking to as like an audience surrogate… hopefully this jogs any memories
@realuity
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