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black-klok-youth-pastor · 1 year

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[OC Profile] Cordelia Lillian Offdensen

Because I am now contractually obligated to infodump about her now. Some parts might have been influenced by other fan fics ,but I either have permission and/or at least gave them enough of my own twist that I'm copying other people's homework too much Spoiler warning for all of Metalolcaypse so far (this is all pre-movie so if my predictions are wrong, oh well). Also content warnings for: pregnancy-related death, child neglect, sexual harassment, alcoholism, and parental death, as well as bits of canon typical dark humor.

Born May 13th, 1945

Died October 3rd, 1993 (...probably, I'll explain in a bit)

Voice Claim: Rachel Bloom/Laraine Newman (if we have to follow the pattern of the other Dethklok moms)

Face Claim: This lady from Writersklok

Personality: A well-intended and kind, but very troubled woman that has trouble being taken seriously despite being rather intelligent and ambitious leading her to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drinking and casual sex.

Character Inspirations: Cutie Cutie Cupcake (BoJack Horseman), Meredith Quill (Guardians of the Galaxy), Paula Small (Home Movies), Paula Proctor (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend), Misato Katsuragi (Evangelion), Annie Hughes (The Iron Giant), Peggy Olson (Mad Men), Halley (The Florida Project), Mina Harker (Bram Stroker's Dracula)

Music Tastes: The Amazelingtons, Blue Oyster Cult, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Electric Light Orchestra, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Elton John, Nina Simone, Fleetwood Mac

Bonus playlist

Backstory

She was Salacia’s consort in a past life, unfortunately, she was slain in a siege alongside their unborn child. He tried to resurrect her using a certain kind of purple magic...it did not end well. Cordelia would sometimes have past life nightmares about this with zero context as to what was happening.

She and Salacia met by chance in 1965, back then being a mere law school student; while Salacia was happy to see his beloved wife again...this time he had more ulterior motives convinced that it was part of the Prophecy (if still having to create the Sal persona for obvious reasons). Which he was right, but for the wrong reasons since Charles was an accidental pregnancy so she had to drop out of school and the two had to elope. Her parents were pissed of course and they did not see Cordelia or Charles until he abandoned the family some five or six years later.

Even though Salacia can technically be in two places at once it's pretty taxing (as well as worries that his other self was starting to develop a personality and will of his own) and eventually just to started to realize the more practical problems of his facade such as...oh yeah and his presence having bits of the plague that cause sickness if not death in some people to the point where people assumed for years that Charles was chronically ill. He might've been an asshole for abandoning them, but financially supported them in secret and had them under surveillance by marking them as "people of interest". Although even if he didn't have high hope for him, he had quite a few other children on standby.

Mysterious checks from the government she didn't question aside it was a bit difficult being a single mother in the 1970s albeit was able to get work as a paralegal at the slightly dubious Ensiferum & Associates. So because of this, she was pretty much what you think of when "Gen X mom" comes to mind, with Charles being very much a latchkey kid who more or less raised himself at points. Not for lack of trying since she was capable of being a very loving mother, but was severely overworked and self-medicated with alcohol to cope with the stress of working as an unmarried woman during Mad Men times and general untreated mental health issues. In fact, it was to the point where Charles feeling the need to take care of other people's needs above his own partially explains why he's slightly messed up as an adult. And yet she's among one of the more competent employees at the firm when sober (gee why does that sound familiar?).

Was generally supportive of Charles's goals, but was terrified of him abandoning her much like his father so she definitely didn't take Charles heading off to boarding school well (although she at least had the decency to not say it out loud) and was enough of a mess to require intervention so she at least mellowed out in her final years before peacefully passing in 1993, her lifespan cut tragically short due to a combination of the Salacia plague still affecting her body years later and alcohol abuse.

...which is the version I usually go with in my fics, but personally, I think it's funnier and opens more story potential if she survives to the series' present day, but is just locked out of the loop of the whole "son being the manager of the world's largest band/economic force and later a cult leader" thing. Like I'd probably figured she get along with most of the Dethklok moms (except for maybe Molly but even then because the latter is a massive hypocrite), and Dethklok for themselves for that matter, especially Toki, which Charles would be a bit conflicted about the latter even if she is trying to make up for her previous faults as a mother. I guess for now it's sort of diverging paths, but at least until the movie comes out "dead mom" is the main timeline for my fics.

Overall Charles has a...complicated view of his mother, on one hand, her neglectful parenting did cause a fair amount of emotional scarring that hasn't healed even decades later and severely affected his interpersonal relationships even as an adult, but on the other hand, was at least aware of her struggles with the benefit of hindsight and wouldn't be half the man he was today without her influence.

#Skwisgaar: RIPs she would haves mades an excellent GMILFs #metalocalypse #dethklok #mtl oc #metalocalypse oc #cordelia lilian offdensen #momdensen #ocs #cw: parental death #cw: child neglect #cw: alcoholism

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madammonkie · 2 years

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Am I not Good Enough?

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Summary: XiaoTian is began to doubting himself

Content warning: PTSD, Self Depreciation stuff, child neglect

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It was a Peaceful night at Pigsy's noodle shop. Both the Pig man and his sole employee, is closing up for the day. Pigsy handling with the kitchen clean up, while XiaoTian handle the eating area.

XiaoTian mindlessly mopping up the floor, as if he's moving on autopilot his mind keep wandering off.

"...pick the wrong successor..."

The Bone Spirit's word kept replaying in his head, and no matter how much he tries to get his mind to think something else or just focus on his works. Its always whispers back as if it has a mind of its own kept pushing away other thoughts he try to bury it with.

He was so distracted that he trip over the mop and fell on the dirty mop water bucket, making the once almost clean floor covered in murky water. Add him to the filthy list too.

Pigsy rushes out of the kitchen to check out what with the commotion, both out of concern for his shop and XiaoTian. Only to find a panicking XiaoTian trying his best to clean up the mess in a frantic. Pigsy, who were originally going to yelled at him, stopped before he even open his mouth.

Something about The kid that had him worried, he has something on his mind and its not the usual mundane distraction.

It was something more severe.

XiaoTian couldn't hold back his tears, as he tried to fix the result of his carelessness. He was too focused on it that he hadn't noticed Pigsy approaching him.

" ...why can't I do anything right..." he mumbled to himself. Tiny sobs escape his lips despite him trying his best not to let them.

Maybe this is why Monkey King left him, maybe Monkey King realized that XiaoTian was the wrong choice and he was off to find a better one.

Maybe his lessons was just a charade to keep XiaoTian busy while he look for a better one.

A better Student

A better Employee

A better Son

If only he could be at least one of that. his parents were right he could never amount to anything. A Weight, a burden, a failure.

An accident.

A pair of arm gently pulls XiaoTian away from the mop that he hadn't notice was already broken from his tight grip.

He doesn't need to look to know who it was.

It was the same warm arm that comforted him back when he was tossed on the street by his Birthgivers.

Pigsy took the broken mop away, "Why don't you go home early tonight? I'll take care the rest"

Panic appears in the young man's eyes, "N-No- I Can handle it! I promise! I'm not Useless I swear- I-I- Can be good enough" he said as he reaches for the broken mop that is now in Pigsy's hand

Before XiaoTian can reach it, Pigsy pull it out of his reach. "It's okay, XiaoTian, You're just tired, You've been working all day, now go upstairs and rest"

"But-"

"No buts"

XiaoTian couldn't argue more, and just complied with Pigsy's instructions. He know Pigsy means well and sending him away out of concern for his wellbeing. But it couldn't help but making his anxiety worsen.

He can't even mop right and he has been doing it for yesrs.

Pigsy noticed his sullen look on his employee's expression. He can't bear seeing him like this. Before XiaoTian leave through the door, Pigsy called out without looking at XiaoTian

"You're good enough for us, Don't you ever forget that, Monkie Kid"

XiaoTian was silent for a good minute, until a small sob escape from his lips again.

"T-thanks Pigsy"

And with that, XiaoTian went upstairs to his apartment.

Maybe.. even if he's not good enough for the big world, he at least knows that he's good enough for his small world of friends.

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk #lego monkie kid mk #lmk xiao tian #lego monkie kid pigsy #lmk pigsy #my writting #not proofread #angst comfort #cw: child neglect #cw: self deprecating #cw: ptsd

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thefirsteldenlord · 2 years

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The Banshee

Badlands angst dabble. A young Horah Loux hears a shriek coming from the distance. The night does not go by quietly after that.

Based on the Irish myth.

Amateur writing here, so feedback is appreciated.

CW: child neglect, violence, gore, war, death, corpses.

Quick twirling motions. Fast and steady. Horah could smell the smoke rising from the stick, keeping up the pace of friction against the meager set of sticks and brush used as fuel for a fire. Dusk was quickly setting in, releasing a wind with it that nipped at Horah's hands and feet. Despite the growing discomfort from the chilly winds, he held his back towards the direction of the wind, guarding the kindling with his small body. His teeth chattered, fighting the urge to shiver as he pressed harder to ignite the kindle. The smoke was growing stronger, embers starting to form at the base of the fire. Excited, Horah sped up the pace. Before he knew it, a small fire formed within the small kindling.

Horah could only feel relief for a moment before the wind picked up, threatening to snuff out the tiny flame. In a panic, Horah cupped the flame in his hands to protect it from the elements. The warmth gently kissed his cold, calloused hands as it grew slowly. It began to crackle the wood underneath, sending its embers further out into the bundle of sticks and brush.

Eventually the wind calmed from a gust to a gentle breeze, and Horah could safely uncup the flame. But he did not dare move his body out of the way, no, he waited for the flame to grow stronger before moving. It was only until the flames grew large enough that he could feel the embers land on him and burn his skin, did he finally move back to his shoddy shelter.

He sat silently, extending little feet and hands towards the flames. They had been numb for several days, only warmth from the flames seem to wake them from their slumber, but they would wake with a fury. Pins and needles would envelope his fingers and toes, slowly crawling up his limbs and forcing him to shudder. He stifled a groan. The cold nipped at his bones, for they showed no mercy to any mortal.

He could see the makeshift settlement he spent most days doing long, tedious labor for just up ahead. They held no love or care for children, for they had no time to care for beings who would only drain their precious resources. That meant this settlement only housed the strongest, rugged, most battle scared men within the badlands... or so Horah thought. It could just be another gender separated village as well.

In order for Horah to get food and water from them, he would have to do labor for the settlement. Every morning, he would wake up at dawn and would either go chop wood or dig up pits for graves or rituals. Both were equally exhausting, along with the fact he can never seem to get a break. The men would berate him and withhold food if they caught him stopping for anything - He had to get their permission to stop working. By the end of the day, he would be given rations of food and water, but only enough for a night. Making him bound to come back the next day for more food and water. But he didn't have to stay tied down to these heartless brutes, right? Only in the summer he could. He could find small game to hunt, fires were easier to start, and he could sleep without a shelter comfortably.

But it was not summer. Fall was here, and the air was already frigidly cold with the winter fast approaching. Small game is now in hibernation, and the lakes where he gets his water are beginning to freeze over. Not to mention he now needs a shelter in order to not die from hypothermia. So a winter working with this brutal settlement was his only option.

Horah dug through his little sack for the food he was given for today's work. A few rolls of rye bread and a small glass bottle of water. It wasn't a feast, but it was enough to stave away starvation. It was certainly better than that small bundle of dirty carrots he received the other day.

The night plunged the land into darkness once more. Light emanating from the settlement in the distance, it began to quiet down as people retreated her their shacks and tents for shelter against the cold. Horah sat a little closer to the fire that kept burning. Adding more sticks to it that he could find within a close vicinity. He attempted to add more protection from the elements by adding branches with the leaves still attached onto his shelter. It was going to be another cold but peaceful night it seems.

Or at least he thought.

Horah began to tuck into his rations before he heard a blood curdling, high pitch shriek that echoed through the woods. He froze, nearly dropping his bread. He didn't move, he held his breath. He waited silently for another sound to determine his next move. He looked into the fire that still crackled in front of him. There was an urge to quickly put it out so he could quickly hide himself in darkness, but he held back. He allowed himself to breathe when he heard the commotion of the men leave their shacks and tents to inspect the perimeter of the settlement. They heard it too? Should he be concerned? Was there a woman getting murdered out there?

Horah rose up to his knees, scanning the area around the settlement. It sounded like it came in the direction of the settlement, right on the opposite side from where Horah stood in fact. He observed several man began to panic, seemingly unable to find the woman who screamed. Chatter began to escalate amoung the men until the chieftain shut it down with a booming voice. While Horah couldn't understand what they were saying, he could tell he was scolding them. Only one word he heard within the chieftain speech stood out to him. Banshee.

Banshee...? What's a banshee?

Horah watched as the chieftain dismissed them, all of them retreated back to their shelters for the night. All was quiet again.

Horah remained alert, however, as if waiting to hear the scream again. But it never did, only the sound of the wind kept him company. He then looks back at his fire, sits back down and continues eating. His wary thoughts soon passed, and it doesn't take long for his mind to forget the incident and find sleep for the night.

The fire was burning low. It's brilliant yellow glow grew to a dim orange, but it still brought enough warmth for Horah to sleep through the night. Horah used his little sack as the pillow, tucking himself into a corner off his little shelter to hide from the wind.

Horah was suddenly stirred from his slumber to the sound of footsteps going past him. His eyes shot open, but he was paralyzed. One set of footsteps became two. Horah's heart began to race. Oh dear God, please don't see him. Two turn into three, then into four. Many more began to climb out of the woodworks, descending upon the now sleeping settlement. Horah could make out silhouettes of men through the trees and brush, carrying heavy weaponry on their backs, some had their torches lit dimly, while others were shrouded in darkness. He could see little emblems on his shoulders plates of the men with torches.

A rival clan.

This was an invasion. An attempt to wipe out the clans settlement in their sleep.

Horah sat in silence, waiting for them to strike. There was an unbearable silence that filled the air as he waited for the bloodshed to start. But he would wish to hear silence again very soon.

Just before the rival clan could strike, a shrill, blood curdling scream echos through the forest once more.

The same scream... she was back?

Horah had little time to think, for the moment the scream began, a fire ball descended into the settlement. The fire ball exploded and nearly bathed the entire area in fire. Screams from the men inside the tents and shacks could be heard as they spilled outside and ran like cockroaches out of the fire, only to fall into the blades of the rival clan that waited for them.

War ensues. More molotov cocktails were being thrown. Blades swinging through the air, clashing and clanging on metal and sometimes flesh and bone. Screams, roars, cries, cursing, all could be heard loud enough for the heavens to hear.

The screams from banshee only became louder to Horah's ears. His heart was pounding in his head. He was suddenly getting the feeling back in his legs, everything screamed at him to run, run for the hills, run for the trees, run before its too late.

So run he did. He took off sprinting in the opposite direction, never looking back. He took off into the night, running until his legs gave out, and all he could hear was silence once more.

He did not return to the settlement until morning. He had left his sack at the campsite and needed it back, but he also hoped to see if any of the men survived, and if he could still work there for food and water.

It was unfortunately all wishful thinking, for there was nothing left. No homes, no food, no resources. The men of the makeshift village were dead, some having burned alive, were sliced open, or both. The rival clan had slaughtered them all, and then pillaged them for all they had. Everything, gone within the span of the night.

Horah had seen devastation like this before, despite his young age. If it were summer, Horah would have probably took his sack and leave the area quickly as to not gain any attention from possible stragglers or looters. But it was cold now. There wasn't any wild berries or plants he could forage on. There wasn't any small game to hunt. The rivers were either taken over by possessive clans or frozen.

Horah entered the ruined settlement, walking over bodies. Under the warm sun, some of the bodies began to bloat. Flies swarmed the bloated ones as pools of congealed blood and fat surrounded them.

Horah, going against his very instincts to remain quiet, made a noise in what probably for the first time in days, maybe weeks.

"H-hello?" He gently called out. He scanned his surroundings again, waiting to for any sign of life that could still be here. "H-hello?!" He called out louder, but he began to shrink. He wrapped his arms around himself for comfort. He could feel the tears welling up.

It was cold. Winter was coming, and he had nothing to rely on. He would have to go back to searching for another village or clan. That by itself could take days. He checked his sack for what food or water he may have left. He only had one roll of bread left, and nearly empty glass of water. It was nowhere near enough, but what other choice does he have? He didn't, it's either search or die.

He tied the sack shut and threw it over his back. He looked over at the footprints of mud, soot, and blood that lead outside of the ruins, and began to follow them. If he was lucky, maybe the rival clan wasn't too far and would show him pity.

#verse: [badlands]#verse: [chieftain of the badlands]#dabble #elden ring #elden ring fanfic #godfrey the first elden lord #godfrey #horah loux #cw: death #cw: war #cw: child neglect #cw: corpses #cw: violence #cw: gore

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finsterhund · 1 year

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I made my roommate watch Skinamarink last night and he didn't get it lol. He is the type to repeatedly ask questions during a movie often right before the movie explains the thing though so I guess that tracks.

I obviously agree with him about things like the pacing and how difficult it is to see things and how the sound mixing and inconsistent subtitles impair understanding and it holds on set pieces for too long. Like I've said before my obsession is rooted in how it made me think and feel and the kinship I had and the potentials it brought to the table. It's not something you really watch as fun entertainment lmfao

But he just couldn't understand how the kids reacted the way they did and that particularly got stuck in my brain.

We got into the discussion of how at that age his (very much unhealthy) birth mother was protective to the extreme and literally would not let him leave her side ever. I also don't think he was experiencing repeat physical abuse. Which of course contrasts starkly with how my mom would leave me alone for hours on end (or rather hours on end alone with my drug addict violent birth father.) So like I'm able to understand the kids being able to "autopilot" a bit despite being that young (knowing how to get cereal and juice and going about circadian rhythms and basic routines) and how they prioritize hiding and being quiet over breaking down and trying to call for help. But he can't. He was like "I wouldn't be that calm I'd be freaking out" while even at that age I knew there sometimes could be extreme consequences to small actions and it was normalized to just go along with things.

Which makes a ton of sense. Under normal circumstances young children should know they can rely on their parents. So their first instinct is to call out. To cry. Baby hominids are so helpless that's pretty much all super young humans can do is call upon an adult. Lumpy fleshy things with giant soft skulls, can barely walk, no teeth or claws. The skills at their disposal are eye contact, hold on tight with strong little grasping hand, and scream. And especially to children with overprotective parents the concept of being completely alone and without help is foreign and horrible and obviously the best solution is to cry out louder and louder until an adult arrives to fix everything. Because they have to come. That's a constant in life, isn't it? When have they not come? And they're never going to hurt you just for wanting help, right?

But for someone like me that was not the way it works. Early on I did though. In the time period shortly after mom took me back from my grandparents (so I was still used to being in their care) she'd intentionally ignore me while I called and as a result I tried over and over gradually louder. I'm on the spectrum by the way, and a trait I see thrown around about earliest signs of autism is that super young children tend to vocalize less and don't develop strong attachment so thay may show it was even more dire. Idk

This was also before my heart surgery so I was experiencing cyanosis and this may have hurt(? Truth be told the one thing I can't remember pretty much at all is the extent of how much it hurt to just exist. My memories don't really record "background pain" I can't even look back on something from a year ago and remember the "default" pain even though I know full well I was suffering from my chronic pain at the time. So idk)

Eventually of course I would learn to give up. With time she would had settled into her new job and was gone for hours on end at night. Essentially my birth father would largely stay in one room and be practically vegetative but really sensitive to light and sound (morphine I think) and it was advantageous to never give him reason to remember you're in the same house. Do not draw his attention and do not under any circumstances give him any "reason" to hurt you. That period of my life is in memories very vague and sparse and repressed and cloudy but what I do remember feels almost exactly like this movie. Lonely, having to make ones own entertainment and relying a lot on VHS tapes and cassettes and toys. All the while hoping the time bomb in the living room stays asleep in the lazy boy. There is constant fear and doom looming over your head. You feel that you are both being watched and over-percieced yet are isolated and abandoned and forgotten. Despite how distressing it is it's also very understimulating and very very boring.

I think this is essentially the vibe that the movie wanted to pull off with the two kids and the entity. That they by instinct knew to basically try to "grey rock" by not calling out or making attention of themselves. Even outright the entity admits that it "punished" the elder of the two for "not listening" and continuing to ask for her parents back.

Maybe it's reflective of how they may have been neglected or often left alone even before the entity showed up so they were used to the situation at first and it was a manner of boiling the frog(?) It's pretty directly implied the mom is out of the picture and it's only the dad by himself shown as being unable to prevent an accident because it happens to the kid in the one time he's preoccupied (although I think it's also implied the entity was responsible for Kevin "falling" down the stairs. Oh god that's another thing isn't it... again, I relate to this movie for a reason)

This pulls me down the line of thought about theoretically how quickly our "planet-wide dominant species of great ape that put all its evolution points into the hyper-socialized pack animal niche" infant can revert to "prey animal left alone in tall grass and its most characteristic attribute is for camouflage" infant when abandoned in a dangerous situation. Additionally makes me think about how there's a certain sound that fortunately very few people will ever have to hear that's specifically the vocalizations young children allegedly produce when experiencing severe life threatening things. A sound that is allegedly very difficult to differentiate from the death screams that rabbits make. A prey animal that for pretty much any other situation evolved to stay as silent as possible.

The child actors are very good at sounding distressed in this movie and there's some pretty upsetting moments but they never come close to that severity of distress. There's talented kid actors who's cries and screams of pain I've seen in movies that do sound genuine but I don't think this extreme is something that's even possible to ever be replicated in acting. I can't even say if I've ever heard/felt it despite my past. It's likely something that most would repress regardless.

The point being is that the way trauma works is that deep down past all the hopes and dreams and hobbies and interests a human is still an animal with the main goal of survival and keeping itself safe with instincts honed over millions of years for this purpose. And in order to ensure survival there is a ton of unconscious/involuntary things that this deep part of your brain will call upon as a last resort. It is often jarring and seen as a loss of childhood when a kid is driven to these extremes to survive. Things that are universally understood as the way children are and how they act and present themselves will cease to exist at this time. You have to adapt or you die. If you're unable to protect yourself and take care of yourself you die. And it's fucked up especially for us because of how noticable it is. Again, we evolved for hyper-specialized communication skills and family units. Baby braincases are so big that they can just barely be delivered at the time of birth. A child is seen as helpless and vulnerable and dependant on family so the fact that in serious situations they can be forced to essentially "devolve" into being more feral, less human, as a survival mechanism can be deeply distressing and emotionally damaging to acknowledge.

Maybe even in-universe humans had instincts to try and avoid predation by whatever the entity was and that's why the kids behaved that way. I would love a horror movie that really goes into exploring the concept of humans still having significant vestigial instincts and adaptations to avoid predation by a lost/extinct/supernatural creature or being that we long ago forgot about consciously.

This is probably one of the reasons I'm so drawn to this movie despite not liking this style of film, camera, pacing, etc. very much. It's so relatable to how I lived at those ages, the experiences I lived and what was a major part of my young existence. And then it makes a child-torturing interdimensional monster the cause of it all. Something otherworldly and new and under-researched. Alien. But intrinsically tied to how our species can think and feel. Literally so much for me to chew on here.

Hmmm speaking of, I wonder if there's for instance say... a video game... that does that sorta thing but about childhood fears and has a nyctophobia darkness entity that's trying to get its hands on the child protagonist who's afraid of the dark, a protagonist that is an extremely relatable character to me that I may absorb into my own personhood and identity as a means of coping with my own childhood trauma... Maybe the target demographic is children so it's not got a depressing outcome and has an easier to follow story. I bet I'd be fucking obsessed with this very hypothetical video game that totally isn't something that does in fact very much exist... 🤔

Aaaanyways, back on the subject of how there's different forms of child abuse/neglect growing up and how the themes in Skinamarink aren't necessarily going to be relatable to everyone out there with childhood trauma.

I see people on both camps in regards to public view of Skinamarink doing the (quite frankly unacceptable behavior. Stop it) thing where they either say "anyone who finds this movie scary obviously didn't really experience trauma growing up" or "the people who don't find this movie scary don't know what it's like to have childhood trauma"

Which (once you get past the fact that we really shouldn't be doing that to other trauma survivors. Please stop.) I think shows that a thing that may impact one's ability to empathize with the scenario in this movie being upsetting is tied not just to understanding what childhood trauma feels like but also a specific form of neglect abuse. The viewer's attachment style probably factors into it as well.

Also an obligatory preemptive response to the people who are going all "it's not about child abuse!!! Stop talking about child abuse. It's just a demon! Not that deep" I am aware that in its most literal interpretation that it's literally just an entity. It's just that the way it's presented the entity is also really good at serving as a metaphorical zeitgeist of childhood neglect my dude. It is literally a monster yeah, but shit doesn't exist in a vacuum and people draw on real world experiences and fears to make supernatural concepts click in people's brains. That's one of the pillars of horror. It's pretty much if childhood neglect was a monster. The themes the movie literally uses to produce the atmosphere are "being left alone to fend for one's self" as a toddler and "time blurring together."

I dunno. I guess that Skinamarink falls into the category of "borderline-pretentious boring art house film or something" so that's why there's so many varying qualities of "takes" surrounding it but sometimes things can really annoy me lmfao.

The people who gatekeep childhood trauma when talking about how other people feel about the movie is especially bothersome to me though. Because there's multiple forms of child abuse and neglect, all of which can cause lasting trauma and other psychological effects, and different people can have varying memories and triggers about it. And there are a lot of kids out there I'd imagine who were left by themselves and suffered neglect in a way that feels like the movie does. I know it's not just me because multiple people have mentioned this.

Watching the movie by myself again this time having found and downloaded what I think are the official closed captioning. With the captions it is a lot easier to follow the movie and tell what's going on. I can actually see that the movie does have a followable plot. And you could argue a three act structure as well if you stretch. So I take it back about how the movie didn't have a plot. Still think it would have benefited from being closer to traditional storytelling though. I appreciate how I'm picking up on blink and you miss it things on pretty much every rewatch and it can be interpreted into having deeper themes but I know a lot of people prefer something that's easy to follow, concise enough for one casual viewing, and has more entertainment factor. I'm in that camp too despite appreciating what it did do.

Also figured I would include it in this post. I have context as to why the movie went viral as "the scariest thing even, movie that is cursed and evil and haunted" reputation film and then disappointed a lot of people who went into it hyper out of their minds. This reputation stems from when it was stolen and uploaded without any context. So it randomly appeared online with no explanation and then people on the internet found this mysterious thing and it spread to the pretty much exclusively zoomers-with-unresolved-mental-issues TikTok community. With that context it may have felt like an ARG or something that wasn't meant to be found that should have had additional context that was missing. A creepypasta but the spooky lost media was actually real. Back when I was more impressionable being introduced to it that way would have fucked with me too.

God look at me rambling about stupid cartoon rabbit YTP entity movie. Fuck man. This thing has a stranglehold on my brain.

#text post #cw: child abuse #cw: child neglect #the skinamarink #long posts #Kyle Ball what have you fucking done to me I'm writing fucking essays on this thing

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lesbiancassius · 10 months

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Elektra in Mycenae, Casey J. King

#electra #elektra #casey j king #june original #ough i'm very happy with this one. i still like klytemnestra more but that one just manifested out of thin air #cw child neglect #< i guess? i don't know what the best thing to tag this as is #in mycenae

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a-little-unsteddie · 4 months

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cw: child abuse mentioned, child neglect

Steve, who was never allowed to play in the snow as a child because it was ‘too messy’. Steve, who stared longingly outside as he watched other kids play in the snow. Steve, wanting to build a snowman, or an igloo, or have a snowball fight, but was denied each and every time by his parents. “It’s uncouth, Steven.” “It’s dirty, Steven.” “You’ll just whine that you’re cold, Steven.” “No.” “No.” “No.” Until he stopped asking altogether, even as he stared out his bedroom window at the other kids playing. Steve who loves the snow but was never allowed to play. The one time he snuck out, he was brought inside being dragged by his ear and spanked until he cried.

And then some for crying at all.

Steve goes shopping with his mom and sees a snow globe and all but cries for her to get it for him. If he can’t have the snow outside, he wants to have a snow globe to have it inside. She lets him get it, but not without commenting ‘at least it’s not going outside’.

Thus starts a collection, of sorts. Whenever he sees a new snow globe, he makes his mom buy him it and because he never asks to go outside to play in the snow if she buys one, she keeps buying them for him.

He has around 10 or 15 snow globes by the time he’s a teenager and left alone more than he isn’t. He still doesn’t go out to play in the snow, even if he silently yearns to, because now he’s ‘too old’ to play out in the snow. Tommy doesn’t like being cold, so he never goes out, and Carol won’t do something if Tommy’s not there, so Steve doesn’t bother asking her to go outside.

Steve becomes friends with Dustin and the rest of the party, and he still doesn’t let himself play with them, even when Dustin begs him to. He passes on the same excuses to him as his mom told him, and the words feel like ash in his mouth, but he doesn’t just play in the snow like he’s aching to. It’s too cold, he’ll be wet and miserable later, he doesn’t want to get water all over the house.

Mostly, they’re excuses because he’s kind of worried he doesn’t know how to play in the snow. That somehow he’ll be bad at it.

Eventually, when he and Robin become friends and their first winter together happens, he tells her this secret fear. It’s right after the kids go out to play, and it’s just them, and he whispers to her.

“I don’t think I’ll be any good at it.”

Robin is confused, of course, because how can you be ‘bad’ at playing in the snow? He elaborates to her that he’s never played and she’s less confused but more angry at his parents, which he thinks is an over reaction and she insists he’s having an under reaction, whatever that means, and the moment passes. Steve is relieved to have revealed that much to her. He still doesn’t go outside, and Robin gets cold easily, so she doesn’t want to go outside, so they stay inside together.

He still collects snow globes, when he sees them. He buys one in front of the kids and brushes it off as a white elephant gift for a family thing, but displays it in the unused guest bedroom with the rest of the snow globes. It’s on the other side of the house from where every other guest bed is, so usually no one takes it, and so he knows his collection is safe.

Even if he keeps it secret, and plans to keep it secret forever, until the following winter, after the spring break from hell and after the grueling summer and cool fall brings the snow again and Eddie Munson is a menace in his life. He’s by far the most energetic person that he’s ever been friends with, all touches and open affection, it’s almost too easy to fall for him.

Eddie is nosy as hell and of course it’s him that finds the collection of snow globes.

“What’s this?” Eddie’s voice echoes from down the hall and it takes Steve a few seconds to process where his voice is coming from before he’s rushing down the hall and into the unused guest room.

Along the left wall, there’s a shelf that stretches from wall-to-wall filled with snow globes.

Embarrassment shoots through him, and he shrugs. “…snow globes.” he explains badly, wincing when Eddie turns towards him with an unimpressed look. It quickly morphs into concern because for some reason, Steve’s started tearing up and once the tears start they don’t stop.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m sorry,” Eddie soothes, wrapping his arms around him tightly. “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to, sweet thing.”

And the thing is, Steve does want to explain. Suddenly overcome with the urge to spill everything, in fact. So he does. He tells Eddie about his mom and dad refusing to let him play in the snow, the one time he got caught and got spanked for it, the snow globes, the fear of being bad at playing in the snow, still desperately wanting to despite it.

Through it all, Eddie holds him and listens. He hums occasionally to acknowledge what Steve is saying, but never interrupts him, for which Steve is glad because he doesn’t know if he’d be able to continue if he was stopped for any reason.

At the end of it, when Steve’s tears have dried, and they’re curled up in a pile of blankets on the couch, Eddie vows to teach him out to play in the snow. How to make a snow angel, a snowman, an igloo, a snowball — everything. He whispers these promises and plans into his ear, their hands intertwined where they lay on Steve’s lap.

And he follows through. With everything.

And the next time the kids beg him to play, he plays his part and says no, because he’s still anxious he’s going to do it wrong, Eddie throws a snowball at his back while he’s busy arguing with Dustin. And silence falls over everyone, waiting for Steve’s next move. Because he’s never given in, and no one’s ever pushed their luck like that.

Steve turns towards Eddie, narrowing his eyes at him.

“Oh, it’s on, Munson.”

The kids cheer and then it’s chaos of snowballs being lobbed at one another.

Later, when everyone is warming up with hot cocoa, and Steve is curled into Eddie’s side with a blanket tossed over their laps, Steve knows he’s never been happier to have met Eddie, who taught him how to play in the snow.

“Thank you,” Steve whispers to Eddie, who hums curiously, lazily looking at him from the corner of his eye. “For teaching me how to play in the snow.”

“Always, Stevie. I’ll always help you.”

And it sounds like a promise.

#is this anything?#idk #i wrote this on a whim #without rereading it #so if it doesn’t make sense i’m sorry #christmasish fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #cw child abuse #cw child neglect #steddie #stobin briefly #unsteddie writing

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pain-is-my-game · 1 year

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Parents really do traumatize you and then force you to reparent yourself instead of being a capable human being who can contribute to society like a normal person. Sorry I can't get a well paying job right now I'm trying to learn coping mechanisms.

#i will never care if you reblog #vent #tw vent #cw vent #parentification #toxic parents #emotional trauma #trauma #childhood trauma #trauma coping #childhood emotional neglect #eldest daughter syndrome #eldest daughter #parentified child #childhood neglect #thoughts to throw into the void

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pillowspace · 5 months

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Thinking about how Charlotte Emily most likely regularly hung out with the Aftons.

William comes downstairs at 9 in the morning to see Charlie and Elizabeth with empty teacups and a teapot, and is just like, ah. Of course. Little girls love tea parties, but indulges them anyway like "what are you two up to?" Elizabeth immediately lights up. "Charlie said that we should play British People 'cause we're British!" William, now a bit more confused, "...ah. I see." Elizabeth, "oh won't you join us? Pretty please?" Charlie then pipes in that she had also asked Mike, but that he had very unfortunately said no, because "Liz plays too mean." Elizabeth, "I do not, you're just too scared to lose!" Michael, "I can't fucking lose at 'British People.'"

Charlie and Elizabeth do atrocious things to their dolls. Drama. Tragedy. They always clash on the endings though, as Charlie wants their dolls fo have a happy end while Elizabeth wants their dolls to have an even worse end

Michael doesn't know Charlie's staying over, and brings home his schoolmates one day. William Frowns TM like "I tried to tell you Henry was dropping off Charlotte today, but you were already halfway out the door." Michael later re-enters the room to find his schoolmates picking on Charlie and pulling at her hair. The closest Michael ever feels to peace is when he's with the Emilys, so he immediately spirals at the sight like, "oh god, if Uncle Henry finds out I brought people over who hurt his daughter, he might not bring her over anymore. What do I do then? What do I do if he stops liking me?" He quickly shoos off his friends, going "dude! She's a guest, leave her be" while Charlie recovers. Before he too can follow after them, Charlie asks Michael if he'll draw with her. He hesitates. The Emilys are the closest he ever gets to peace, so he agrees and sits down to draw. "What are you drawing, Char?" "Marionette!" "'S that the creepy thing that's always watching the guests come and go at Freddy's?" "He's not creepy, he's my friend. Dad made him for me :(" "ahh. You know, my father's been building something for Liz too." "You think that it'll protect her like Marionette protects me?" "Maybe."

Charlie notices how anxious CC always seems to be, and declares one day that she'll keep him safe. She makes him a drawing of them both holding hands, and gives it to him so that he may always look upon it and know that Charlie's rooting for him. He nearly bursts into tears at the kind gesture. The whole household tries to be nicer to each other whenever Charlie's around, but CC tells her about Michael's behaviour to him. Knowing how weak Michael is to her, Charlie gives Michael a look while he's grabbing cereal the next morning like "you should be nicer to your brother. He's just a little kid." Michael immediately pauses, then awkwardly closes the cupboard like "ummm. Okay." Not wanting to use Charlie as a means to make fun of CC, he just never brings the interaction up afterwards

The Emily and Afton families joining together are constantly filled with different forms of jealousy from the Aftons. William, he's jealous of Henry. Michael, he's jealous of Charlie's positive relationship with her father. CC, he's jealous of how Michael seems to like Charlie so much more than him. Elizabeth doesn't even notice her own jealousy, but deep down, Charlie's completely peaceful household... confuses her. She rationalizes the lack of favouritism or hostility as it only stemming from Charlie being an only child, rather than Henry's good parenting. Being so young as well as being the perfect golden child, Elizabeth doesn't know how to express doubt in her father. Clearly, it must be her siblings doing something wrong if Charlie and Uncle Henry are doing so well on their own!

After CC's death, the house is filled with an unbreakable tension. It's grief. It's guilt. Michael and his schoolmates completely cut ties after what happened. And as always, the Emilys feel so separate from the tension of his own home. Michael starts talking to Charlie more frequently, more often at Henry's house rather than his own. He tries not to, or at least usually tries to hide first, but he accidentally has a complete breakdown in the living room one time. Charlie hums a soothing lullaby to him until Henry eventually comes back, notices the state Michael's in, and takes over calming him down while sending Charlie off to do some other seemingly helpful task. After Elizabeth's death, Michael only really has the Emilys left. Charlie stops just being his source of peace, and becomes his best friend. His only friend. Then after Charlie's death...

It's rather lonely all of a sudden.

Later, years later, when Michael's flesh is rotting on his bones and everything is just about to finally be done with, he sits down on the edge of a cheap creaky stage he bought, and lightly knocks his knuckles against Lefty's calf. "Charlie? Can you hear me alright? It's Michael ... I'm sorry. I know I never acted like it, but... for what it's worth... you were my best friend back then. ...Whatever's beyond this, would you like to be friends again there too?"

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red-rover-au · 1 year

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The tsundere parent era

#thinks about Red Rover prequel thinks about Red Rover prequel thinks abo #red rover au #red rover art #rottmnt separated au #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt leo #rottmnt tiger claw #rottmnt draxum #Leonardo #tmnt tiger claw #tmnt 2012 #tiger claw #baron draxum #art #my art #cw child neglect #rottmnt turtle tots #Poison Eaterz

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imfinereallyy · 1 year

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Father Figures

pt. 2 here, and full version on ao3 here

The first time James Edward Hopper meets Steve Harrington is when Steve is thirteen years old. It is back when he is still pushing everyone to call him Chief Hopper, or at the very least James to sound more professional. It is mostly a lost cause, as he has just returned to Hawkins after his daughter Sarah's death and most people can't help but call him Jim and Hop in familiarity, in sympathy.

It didn't mean they didn't take him any less seriously though. In fact, his cold, grieving demeanor gave him quite the reputation around town. Made assholes like Lenny Byers and troublemakers like the little twerp Munson turn in the other direction when they see him. So Jim doesn't try to push the professional name too much. He knows people around here respect him.

They respect him enough to follow his word, they respect him enough to turn a blind eye when he takes an extra pill or two.

Jim doesn't think too deeply about his reputation until he meets Steve Harrington for the first time.

He gets a call from Benny. It's directly to his line at the station, instead of a general 911 call. He doesn't think much of it when he answers, most likely it was a non emergency from an old friend from high school. That's the only reason people call him most days.

"Chief Hopper. Make it quick."

"Jimmy." A deep, worried breath comes from the phone.

Jim immediately straightens. "Benny, what's wrong?"

Benny usually only calls for a laugh, or to invite him out for a drink. The guy doesn't care about too much, or ask too many questions. Hearing concern in his voice was alarming, to say the least. "Listen, Hop, there is a kid here. And normally I don't care, cause business is business, but it's two in the morning, Jimmy. And despite the kid wearing the most expensive pair of sneakers I have ever seen, he only has two dollars on him for a meal. He got all skittish when the plate landed too loudly. And I don't know..." Benny takes a deep breath before he continues. "...I just don't want to be at fault if this kid's trouble and some fancy parents come looking for him."

Jim can tell Benny wants to say something else, he doesn't push though. Jim Hopper tries to never ask too many questions.

"Alright Ben, I'll be there in ten."

———

When Jim arrives at the diner, Benny notices him and nods in the direction of the corner booth. And there, sitting with his head low and scarfing down a plate of fries is Steve Harrington.

Jim has never met the kid personally, but he knows his parents. Cold, calculating, and pretty much owns half of Hawkins. Jim is starting to understand why Benny has called him.

Jim slides into the booth across from the young boy. He's prepared to take the kid by the back of his shirt and drag him out of there. He doesn't need these kids to be causing hard-working people any trouble. But when Jim makes a thump in the booth, the Harrington kid's face snaps up in fear, and Jim's plan for an angry monologue just drops.

Because there, on Steve Harrington's jaw, is a bruise the size of Indiana itself. Jim's face remains gruff, but his body language softens. "Hey, kid. What are you doing here so late?"

Steve's posture remains stiff and small. "Sorry sir, I was just hungry and it was the only place open. I wasn't—I wasn't trying to cause trouble."

It's then, for the first time, Jim thinks that his reputation isn't one of respect. Instead, his reputation might something worse. Fear.

"Didn't think you were. Just wondering what a rich kid like you, is doing on this side of town, at this time of night." Jim doesn't say it like a question, just fact. He tries not to take it too personally when Harrington turns his bruised side in on himself.

"Would have uh—gotten something from home but we—I didn't have any food left. And by the time I was able to eat, everything else was closed."

"Able to eat—kid what are you rambling about. Let me call your parents to pick you up." Jim makes his way to stand but Steve grabs his wrist to pull him back.

"No! I mean—" he clears his throat "—not necessary sir. My parents left for a work trip tonight. I uh—don't have a number for you to call them anyway. They call me instead, they never have a solid line to contact. Nothing bad happens in Hawkins anyway, so it isn't something to worry about." The last line sounds practiced, like it is something repeated to Steve religiously enough it's become his own mantra.

Jim is starting to put it together. The waiting all day to eat. The bruise on his jaw. The lack of money for food. God, the kid probably walked six miles to get here.

Jim isn't stupid, he can connect the dots. But Jim also knows when not to push things. When not to rock the boat. When sometimes, even if it pains him, helping someone would be a lost cause. He thinks of Sarah briefly.

It's even worse when that lost cause is just a kid.

Jim decides maybe the best thing he can do for Steve at that moment is to ignore the obvious problem and offer him a bit of kindness. "Well, I can't have ya here this late. Could look bad for Benny. And we don't want to get Benny in trouble do we?"

Steve shakes his head immediately. "No Sir."

"Didn't think so. Why don't I drive you to the station? Don't worry I'm not arresting you. But we got a nice cot there, and you can get some rest. Then I'll drive you back in the morning when I clock out. Cause I'm still on duty and all. Can't be driving you back Loch Nora quite yet." Jim doesn't mention how he can see bags under Steve's eyes. He doesn't mention how it would be quicker to his house than to the station either. Jim maybe, just a little bit, wants to keep an eye on him. Even if it's only for a short time.

"It's okay I can walk—" Jim levels Steve with a look "—actually that sounds great. Thank you, Sir."

Jim nods with finality and starts to stand. "Oh and kid? Enough with that sir crap. I ain't Mr. Harrington." He almost says I'm not your dad. But that felt wrong somehow, giving Harrington senior that title.

"Okay, sir—I mean Hopper. Okay, Hopper."

---

As the years go by, James Edward Hopper keeps an eye out for Steven James Harrington (Yes he looks at his file for his full name. Yes, it makes him feel some sort of way he has his name as his middle name and not his father's. Richard would make a horrible middle name anyway). At first, it's drive-bys to see if anyone's home. Giving the kid a ride if he sees him walking. Swinging by a basketball game or two, to see how he's playing.

Then it turns into busting his ragers. Hauling him in for the night not to arrest him but to sober the kid up. Pulling him over for driving while intoxicated with that dumb Hagan boy.

Jim wants to be mad, he does. He even yells at Steve sometimes. But he can't find in him to be mean to him, not really. Not when he's pretty sure the only thing Steve has consumed in days is alcohol. Not when even though he has gotten much bigger, and the bruises are less visible, Steve never ceases to flinch when Jim grabs him.

So mostly, Jim either just drives him home or brings him in, giving him a sandwich and bed for the night.

Around when Steve is sixteen though, things get worse for Jim. He becomes more frustrated, with Steve, with his job, and with this town. He takes more pills. He neglects his job. He forgets Steve.

Then the Upside Down happens for the first time. Jim tries to better himself for Joyce and the kids. He mainly though does it for El. His second chance, his new reason for trying, his daughter.

Jim knows it's okay to get a little lost in taking care of her. That it's a good thing, and she deserves his full attention.

He does feel a bit of guilt though, after round two of the Upside Down. When Steve Harrington sits in Joyce Byer's living room, looking like he went ten rounds with a semi.

The kids are all over him (including Mike which shocks the hell out of him). Dustin is trying to stop the bleeding on his face, Lucas is holding ice against his head and even El, who Steve met for all of five minutes, is sitting beside him on the couch, holding his shoulder up. There is a look in El's eyes as she stares up at Steve. Like she can see through him, like she knows him. Like she understands him.

Jim feels his heart break a little.

He approaches Steve in a crouched position. "Hey kid, I think we better take you to a hospital. You look like shit." He is sure there is a better way to say it, but Jim Hopper is a blunt man and that was never going to change.

The redhead, Max, snorts. "That's honestly the nicest way to put it."

Steve glares, Jim can't decide if it's at him or the kids. "No. I'm okay."

Dustin shouts, "Steve you are most definitely not okay. Hop's right you look like shit—"

"Language."

Dustin ignores Steve, "—and that's just externally. Who knows what's going on internally."

"C'mon kid, I can drive ya." Jim moves to help him stand.

Steve bursts with anger and pushes Jim away. "I said no. And you're not my dad."

Jim's jaw tightens and he resists the urge to scream back: and thank god for that.

El speaks before he can yell back. "You're hurt." It's soft, it's demanding and it's so very El. Jim watches Steve crumble back into the couch.

His voice is rougher than before, but much more gentle, "No hospitals."

"Okay. At least let Joyce look at ya. She used to be a nurse." Jim puts a hand on his shoulder, careful not to jostle him.

"Okay, Hopper. Okay, Hop."

———

After that, for a little while, Jim tries to look out for Steve again. It's harder this time though. He's more independent and harder to catch sight of. When he does see him, one of the gremlins is around him, and he can't check-in. And Hop has El, and he can't neglect her in favor of Steve. He tries to balance it out, but in the end, Steve isn't his kid.

Jim finds a small loophole though, which is El herself.

He worries about her every she since she ran away and he didn't even notice. And he knows Steve, like him, has a soft spot for the kids. So under the guise of babysitting, Jim gets Steve in his cabin once a week. So someone other than Joyce or Jonathan (or horribly, mike) is spending time with her. Sure, he's not there to keep an eye out for Steve himself, but it's the closest he's going to get.

Besides, biological daughter or not, El is just like Jim. She has a habit of collecting strays. If it's not going to be him looking out for Steve, he can't think of anyone better for the job than his little girl.

———

After Starcourt, somewhere in a Russian prison, Jim thinks of Steve.

Every day, Jim thinks of El. Misses her. Longs to hear her laugh even longs to hear her yell back at him. Every day, Jim thinks of his daughter and mourns what could have been. But Jim knows she's being taken care of. Knows Joyce and the boys will love her, and take care of her. Make sure she knows nothing else but kindness.

He worries though, between those moments, about how there is no one there for Steve.

———

Months later, in Hawkins Memorial, Jim Hopper finds Steve Harrington in a hospital chair next to Eddie Munson's comatose body.

Jim has a lot of questions but doesn't get any of them out because suddenly Steve Harrington is right in front of him, sucking in a harsh "Hop," and then collapsing in Jim’s arms.

Jim holds him close, says nothing, and cries silently with him.

———

During the summer that follows, James Edward Hopper notices a change within Steven James Harrington. Despite the obvious PTSD the boy suffers, and the scars that litter his body, Steve is visibly happier than Jim has ever seen him. He laughs more, he openly cries more, and he loves more.

Steve's now living with Robin in a tiny two-bedroom downtown. He comes to family dinner with the entire party every Sunday. He shares a cup of tea (no more beer for either of them) and a cigarette every Thursday evening on the Byers-Hoppers front porch.

Most noticeably, the biggest difference Jim sees in Steve is Eddie Munson.

Jim once again isn't stupid. And despite being an ex-cop isn't a bigot (he couldn't find himself back at the force, the corruption is too much for him. And he himself, was never very good at his job). So he can easily come to the conclusion that Steve has a massive crush on Eddie Munson.

Dear. God.

It's not that he has a problem with Eddie being a boy, but it's the fact that out of all people he can choose from, Steve had to go and fall for the twerp who used to trip over his laces when running away from Jim for the third time.

Jim feels, after all the years of neglect that Steve faced, he could do so much better.

Steve is happy though for once, and Jim doesn't say anything at first. But it becomes so painful to watch. The lingering touches. The longing gazes. The nicknames (sweetheart, honey, dear god did he just say big boy—).

Nothing ever comes of it though, it's August and neither of them has done anything but pine. And Jim seems to be the only one who notices.

At first, he thinks it's cause everyone is being kind, and giving them room to explore themselves. But with everyone making jokes about Robin and Steve (from the kids) or Steve and Nancy (from Eddie), it seems like no one notices the excruciating flirting between the two.

(Except for maybe Robin, but Jim isn't quite sure Steve and she aren't one organism. He doesn't count her)

Still, Jim ignores it though. He has learned his listen from Mike and El. Getting involved makes everything worse.

That is until, the second week in August right before family dinner, when he finds Steve and Eddie early, sitting on the couch, with Eddie dabbing the blood off of Steve's face.

"What happened?" Jim is over on Steve's other side in an instant.

"Nothing Hop, it's stupid." Steve tries to shrug off, and he looks towards Eddie briefly.

Jim's vision, for a brief brief moment, is filled with unclear rage. It's enough to consume him and makes him impulsive. Jim can't help but think he got it wrong. Maybe the two are together, and Steve had fallen into a bad relationship. He knew that Eddie was trouble, but he didn't think about it being that kind.

And though he is being irrational, and being for once a little stupid, no one can really blame him when he hauls Eddie up by the collar and into his line of vision.

"Munson, did you put your goddamn hands on my kid?"

Jim can hear Joyce, El, and Will (the only other people in the house) all run out into the living room at the sheer volume of Jim's voice.

Steve sits frozen, Joyce and El yell at him to "put him down, oh my god."

And Munson? He starts to ramble.

"No. No! I would never, ever hurt anyone. Haven't we learned this by now? I can barely kill a spider. I have to put them in a cup and put them outside." Eddie chuckles nervously, waving his hands around frantically.

Jim's grip tightens and pulls him closer. He's pretty sure his vibrating at this point.

Suddenly though, Eddie becomes deathly serious. As if he just realizes what Hopper has said.

"Hop, I would lay down my life before I ever hurt Steve. There is no one in this world that deserves kindness more than him. And if I ever do hurt him, whether it be emotionally or physically, I give you full permission to beat me up. Hell, I'll probably throw myself at your fist."

Jim doesn't let go but stays silent as he listens.

"You see, Steve here decided to pull a you when some jerks wouldn't leave me alone at Family Video today. They were throwing around a bunch of slurs. Nothing I haven't heard before. And even though I could handle myself—“ Eddie gives Steve a look “Steve here always has to be the hero and decided to defend my honor. And of course, it just had to turn physical. And Steve decided to take on three guys on his own. Got to say though, he held his own. It was kinda hot honestly—"

Jim hears Steve choke a little beside them, startling him out of his frozen state.

"—And he only got a cut on his forehead from one of the dickwads class rings. I'm a little worried he has another concussion though. Believe me, Hop when I say, I am just as pissed at those guys as you."

At the end of his speech, Eddie calms down and even holds eye contact with Jim. He still doesn't let go of the twerp, despite being considerably less angry. Well, at least at Eddie.

It's Steve though that finally gets him to let go. "Dad, please put Eddie down."

Steve says it like it's nothing. Steve says it likes its the easiest thing in the world. But to Jim, to Jim it's the best thing he's gotten since El.

Instantaneously, Jim drops Eddie back on the ground and scoops Steve into a bone-crushing hug. "You got to stop scaring me like this kid. Can't lose you again."

Steve's almost his height now, so he tucks Steve's head into his shoulder and lays his head on top of his hair. He hears a muffled, wet "I'm sorry" against him.

Jim chokes back tears as he says, "No, no you got nothing to apologize for. Just be more careful. Okay?"

Steve releases himself from his hold and looks at him. "Okay, Hop. Okay, Dad."

Jim ruffles his hair without jostling his head too much. He thinks he would do anything for his kids. Including pushing along this nightmare of a pining contest.

"And if you like him I like him too."

"Huh?" Steve says confused.

"Eddie here. If you like him, then he's okay by me."

Steve goes to stop Jim, but he's already one step ahead. "But if he hurts you even in the slightest, you're watching me dig the grave I'm going to bury him in. Understand?"

Steve blushes from head to toe and nods frantically, knowing if he protests it will only make the conversation longer. The room is silent until Eddie speaks.

"Don't worry Hop, I'll dig the grave for you." Eddie's voice, despite the threat, is filled with delight, wonder, and hope.

My work here is done Jim thinks as he gives the boys one last nod and leaves the room.

And if later, if Jim sees Steve and Eddie holding hands at the dinner table he doesn't comment on it. And if he sees Eddie give Steve's knuckles a light kiss, and whisper something that almost looks like "I love you", he only smiles at the two boys. Because if one more person loves his boy, it's a win for him.

Because James Edward Hopper, thinks his son Steve deserves that and so much more.

———

okay I spent waaaay too much time on this (as per usual) but I wanted to dive in a little more on Steve and Hoppers relationship (and how it impacts Steve and Eddie). I feel like a lot of fics makes them distant friends (which is canonically correct I guess) or surrogate family with no explanation. And I like the idea of them slowing building a father son relationship. Really leaning into you choose your family. I know people have mixed feelings about Steve calling him Dad (honestly sometimes I too think it’s cringey) but sometimes I love it and that boy deserves a good father figure. Even though steddie doesn’t come in until the end, I think it all really blends together nicely. Also in my head either the boys are both out to each other, is at least it’s heavily implied or is a known safe space they are in. We do not support outing people in the house. It’s probably a one-shot, but maybe I’ll add more snippets later on. For now it felt like a good place to stop.

As always I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I just zoned out for like two hours as I wrote it. It kinda made me emotional I’m not going to lie.

part 2 here and the full version on ao3 here

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genericpuff · 8 months

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yeah so let's talk about the scenes between hades and thanatos that went from being goofy "haha a boss being hard on an employee" 'jokes' to child abuse as soon as it was revealed that hades was thanatos' adoptive father

and yes i'm putting a content warning jump for ❗❗❗ child abuse and neglect ❗❗❗

so first off, before we even get into the Thanatos / Hades father son relationship thing, I wanna mention a sequence in Episode 39 and why I think Rachel included the scene of Hades reaming Thanatos for being bad at his job.

And it's simply because of what happens the episode before.

Persephone's ableism aside (seriously, I have legs, that doesn't mean I want to walk everywhere, I also own a car, that doesn't mean I have to drive everywhere, maybe flying is tiring? Maybe he's injured and shouldn't be flying? Maybe he has a disability that results in him having wings that can't fly? Check yourself Persephone 😒) this is one of the earliest signs of LO's "Revenge for Persephone" problem which is CONSTANT throughout the narrative - that anytime Persephone is slighted or inconvenienced in the slightest, then the narrative needs to ensure there's some kind of revenge, either directly for her sake or indirectly for the audience's, and it's often always facilitated through or by Hades.

And that leads us to Episode 39, which is when we get exactly that.

Moving onto the scene itself, this is what we call in the work environment a "dressing down". This is not how legitimate employee reviews are given. Hades is not planning on giving him any sort of formal review or constructive criticism. He's planning on tearing him a new asshole just for the fun of doing so. You can even see it written on his face. He's doing this just for the joy of tearing him down. As someone who's been subject to this kind of behavior in previous work environments, I can assure you that this is not normal behavior that's indicative of a functioning workplace, this is abuse.

Taking that train scene into account, it's a way to indirectly "avenge" Persephone. She was slighted by Thanatos, so now Hades is going to make his life hell. But here's the thing - this not revenge for Persephone's sake. Hades doesn't even know Persephone's in the building, and Persephone doesn't know that Thanatos is being berated by Hades. But the scene is here anyways because of course the audience needs to feel "better" about Persephone getting pushed by a stranger at the train stop.

Now, scenes like this have been done in other stories, often times to explain the behavior of bullies/aggressors/etc. because in many cases, textbook bullies, whether children or adults, are abusing others because they're being abused by a higher authority so they take it out on those "weaker" than them.

But this doesn't work in LO, for several reasons.

First off, it pretty much plays it off like a joke, especially when the scene continues after Persephone has walked into Tower 4.

But beyond that, the higher authority abusing Thanatos is someone we're expected to root for. He's the main love interest. While this could be written as a legitimate character flaw, we all know now, in the year 2023, that Rachel sees Hades' behavior as a feature, not a bug. While most scenes written like this would cast a new perspective on a bully and allow some room for understanding and empathy from the audience, in LO's case, we're still not expected to empathize with Thanatos here, they want us insulting him right alongside Hades.

And of course, that brings us to the big blue elephant in the room - the knowledge of Hades and Thanatos' relationship completely re-contextualizes these scenes in a way that's far too depressing and horrifying for a writer like Rachel to be able to wrap up confidently.

Of course, she tried, but her efforts... can't even really be called efforts. For starters, because a lot of it is played off as a joke, as if Rachel can't handle even a single moment of legitimate emotion, she has to "write off the awkward" by making things "funny".

But when she does try to seriously write these scenes of introspection, reflection, and communication, it just winds up turning into the main protagonists going "woe is me, I was the real victim!" and never actually suffering consequences for their actions as a result as they Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss their victims into apologizing to them. It still isn't asking us to empathize with or side with Thanatos, it wants us to end up right back at square one supporting Hades' side of the story.

Literally "well you weren't that bad, at least you were there!" bare minimum accountability, followed by "well I didn't make your life easy so I get it" from someone who was literally a child who was abandoned and left to live with an abusive asshole. It wasn't his fault that he was in the situation he was in, it wasn't his fault that he was a "handful" for Hades because he was a CHILD and Hades was the ADULT, but the comic paints it as Thanatos being at fault anyways for being "ungrateful".

But there are even more subtle signs that point to Thanatos' childhood with Hades that, while not specifically mentioning it, do paint a pretty nasty picture of how Thanatos views Hades and the people around him as a result of his childhood, in a very fridge horror "stop and think about it" kind of way.

First of all, the fact that Thanatos hasn't even been allowed to touch Hades' car. Obviously he's referring to specifically driving it but it makes me wonder what kind of bare minimum accommodations Hades made for his own adopted son. Again, played off for a joke.

And of course we have this one piece of concept art-

Now to be fair, this is concept art from before it was retconned that Thanatos was Hades' son, but it still casts an icky implication in hindsight both because of Hades' treatment towards Thanatos as well as the implication that Thanatos was getting "too close" to Persephone for Hades' liking. This sort of weird dynamic can be found in the actual comic when Hades admits he knows Thanatos was sleeping with Minthe.

And then there was this one scene, which prompted me to write this post in the first place, shared in the ULO Discord.

Thanatos has just met Daphne, so it's not necessarily weird for him to be suspicious of her asking for his phone, but the actual dialogue... doesn't line up with what you'd assume he would be suspicious of.

He doesn't say "you're not going to peek through it, are you?"

He specifically says "You're not going to smash it, are you?"

Now, if this line were intended to be anything more than some throwaway "haha funny" line (which, again, where's the punchline here) then maybe it could point more to something that happened between him and Minthe. But there's nothing that implies she was ever violent towards him, and the one time she IS violent towards anyone, it's implied that's the first and only time she's ever escalated things to that point and that even she's shocked and disgusted at her own behavior.

There is plenty to imply that Thanatos was abused by Hades, though.

So reading this line in hindsight... really just feels like further proof on a growing pile of evidence that Thanatos was constantly being berated, controlled, and abused by Hades, a guy who he never asked for as a father figure, but was still expected to apologize to anyways.

But there is one last thing I wanna mention before I wrap up. One thing that was mentioned by yet another user in the ULO community that really stood out to me because it just goes to show how horrible Hades has been towards Thanatos, both in the past pre-retcon and in the present well after it was established that they were father and (adopted) son.

And that's Hades' two dream sequences that involve him having children with Persephone.

One of these scenes is from before the retcon. The other is from after.

Neither one features Thanatos as a part of Hades' visions for the future.

Hades has been Thanatos' entire life. But Hades doesn't see Thanatos as even a part of his.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #essay post #long post #content warning #cw #child abuse #child neglect #tw child abuse #tw child neglect

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cowboythighs · 8 months

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When Wayne took Eddie in, his biggest worry was that he was going to screw the poor kid up even more than his parents already had. After all, what did he know about taking care of a kid? How would he know what his nephew didn’t know- what Wayne needed to teach him? And how was he going to manage raising a whole little human and provide for them both? But to his surprise, Wayne soon found out that Eddie was shockingly self-sufficient. That he’d had to learn how to cook and clean and do laundry for himself, because his parents were too caught up in themselves and their own issues to take care of him.

Wayne’s momentary relief that he wasn’t starting from ground zero was soon replaced by a level of resentment towards Eddie’s parents. It wasn’t fair that Eddie had been forced to rely on himself so much. It hurt Wayne to see someone so young worrying the way he did about not using too much water; hurt watching Eddie silently going behind Wayne to turn off unused lights because he worried about the bills being too high to pay.

When he figured out Eddie's lemonade stand wasn’t set up to fund a new comic or toy, but rather to try and pay his share for room and board, Wayne took Eddie to the local thrift store and headed straight for the toys section. He was stern when he told Eddie to keep his money, and that they were not leaving until Eddie had an armful of his own toys because Wayne was determined to make sure Eddie had the chance to be a kid.

He watched as Eddie slowly pursued through the selection of toys- inspecting them carefully. When Wayne caught on that Eddie was looking at the price tags he gently admonished him; told him these are used toys; they’re cheap enough and that Eddie didn’t have to worry about money with him.

Eddie tried to argue, insisted that he knows how this goes and appreciates the thought, he really does think it’s nice that Uncle Wayne wants him to have fun stuff to play with, but he knew that just because they have money now it didn’t mean they won’t somehow come up short later, and how he’d much rather have heat than a GI Joe.

Wayne tried to be patient, to not to be as gruff as was his nature as he told Eddie “I may not be your daddy, but you're my boy and I’m gonna take care of you”. Wayne told him it was time to stop fussing and enjoy being a kid. Wayne allowed himself a smile when Eddie relented and picked out a handful of toys.

When they passed the book display as they walked towards the register Wayne stopped. “You like readin’?'' he asks. Eddie looks longingly at the books but only shrugs.

“Don’t know, never had any books to read”. Eddie says it like it doesn’t matter, but his face betrays him.

“They had books in school, didn’t they?” Wayne asked. Eddie just gave another shrug.

“Guess so. I didn't get to go to school very often. Mom and dad were almost always too tired or too sick in the mornings to take me. and we moved around a lot. When we lived close I could walk to school by myself as long as I had clean clothes. If you go to school dirty, teachers get too nosey," Eddie stated like it was common knowledge, “and then they call your parents and you get in trouble and have to move again. But mostly it was too far to walk so I couldn’t go anyways.”

Wayne’s heart felt like it was breaking anew with each detail of casual neglect his nephew had to endure. It wasn’t right for a kid so young to have gone through so much and be so nonchalant about it. Making up his mind he directed Eddie over to the books and told him he can have whatever he wants. There's a slim selection of children’s books to choose from, but it's a place to start.

Wayne watched Eddie's eyes as they kept wandering back to a boxed set with dragons and wizards on the spine. Wayne picked up the set of the Lord of the Rings books without a word and took the set up to the register with Eddie trailing behind. They were far too advanced for a kid his age, especially one as far behind as Eddie, but Wayne decided he would read to him every night. would read aloud the stories of Bilbo and Frodo and Middle Earth and watch Eddie's love for learning grow.

Wayne was proud when time passed and Eddie started leaving dirty dishes in the sink and letting his room get messy. He didn’t mind when Eddie took a long shower or stayed up late writing his own stories. Wasn’t disappointed when he got held back in school, or spent his free time playing games of make believe with his friends. Because he knew better than anyone that Eddie had a rough start in life and had been playing catch up for a long while. And besides, it gave him a chance to be a kid just a little longer, and there was nothing Wayne wanted more than that.

#cw child neglect #cowboythighs #wayne munson #eddie munson #ficlet #crossposted (and slightly edited) from my twt #also ik the books pictured aren’t the lotr trilogy but i mentioned dragons on the spine and this is the closest i could find so we’re using #✨imagination ✨

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finsterhund · 1 year

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Fuck man.

So I did eventually end up returning to watching We're All Going To The World's Fair and skipped past the scene that had the big trigger but it's still a doozy of a movie to process. Jesus Christ.

Maybe I'm just still shaken up over that but I am thinking. I am thinking with my mind.

This film is essentially a horror narrative centered around how gen Z, my generation, as neglected preteens with unrestricted access to an at this point now actively predatory and manipulative social media based internet, can devolve into harmful coping mechanisms, destructive tendencies, normalization of neurosis, and evidently have an almost infinite amount of ways to get ourselves hurt. This probably applies to millennials who grew up with the internet too but I noticed this movie is very prominently leaning towards the way it is for zoomers. The base story is that a creepypasta "ritualpasta" (challenge game) called "the world's fair" is something that goes viral for kids to do and document the supposed "paranormal changes" they experience from it. The reality of the game and whether it's all just psychosomatic or a scam is up for debate but the impact it has on vulnerable youth definitely isn't.

The main character is very apparently at least to me, either played by someone who is, or was intentionally played to be, neurodivergent and much of Casey's mannerisms, traits, the way mania fronts in particular, etc. are very similar to myself which adds to the relatability of the base concept and really made me queasy watching.

There's also ambiguous themes of potential grooming(?????) I got the impression the adult character had his own kid die from this or had some severe delusions surrounding the game and he was trying to help but he comes off as behaving somewhat predatory regardless of interpretation. Much of his behaviors are similar to common online grooming behaviors.

This movie really fucking made me think about shit and I got very uncomfortable.

Not to immediately just go back to thinking about Skinamarink but... I think it's pretty easy to interpret that movie as horror-izing thoughts of childhood neglect. And how they differ. Skinamarink if interpreted as being about abuse neglect is about toddler years and being left to fend for yourself, dealing with basal fear instincts when you're just starting to learn how to be your own guardian in the first place. The first sparks of independence. While We're all Going to the world's fair is about the teenage years of neglect. It's less basal. It's more complicated. There's a level of perceived invincibility. There's a level of forced responsibility that is placed on one's shoulders because adults no longer see you as a child but won't give you the autonomy they give to adults.

And with Skinamarink I can joke and I can take the scene where a voice in the dark tells Kevin about the knife and parrot it back into being about getting crushed under a falling dresser or getting my finger stuck in a mechanical toy or almost eating bleach powder or splitting my head open on concrete. Because I've grown in my mental health recovery and have an understanding of who I am as a person and what it means to be me on that basal toddler level. I'm at a point of recovery where I've gotten a handle on that. (For the most part. I deal with regression at times obviously if you've known me for a while you can attest.) So this is something I have learned how to use humor to cope with. When I look back and say "man that's fucked up" it's from a place of "I'm not in that headspace now. I'm bigger and stronger. I have overcome"

But not the teenage years. I have made no progress compartmentalizing and unpacking that can of worms. Maybe it could be said I am more selfaware. And that's really made me realize that yeah, I have comparatively made nowhere near the recovery and emotional maturity towards processing and overcoming the neglect and abuse in my preteen to teenage years. I do not have the capacity to process those feelings in any way that's constructive and healing at this point. Not the emotional maturity or depth. I put up walls and that's "good enough" but without the walls I get panicked and anxious. At that point construction of the self becomes so much more complicated. And the self construct is something I struggle greatly with as is.

And that's really made me uncomfortable. I know that finding this out is beneficial but I'm scared to even think about that. Most of those years are extremely repressed. It's a fucking mess. I will break down if exposed to this.

God.

There needs to be better groups and support networks for children in this world. So many legal guardians do a shit fucking job and never have to answer for it when it's permanently altered the minds and destiny path of someone who had no choice in the matter. This can lead us down some dark paths that not all of us will end up living through by the end. I've lost friends that way. I try not to think about that either. I can't accept that kids who I was close to during the transition from elementary to middle to high school aren't alive anymore. It's cruel. There's survivors guilt. I wonder why I didn't go through the same. And I dwell on things.

Gonna try to calm down. I generally am fine with horror movies so I wasn't expecting this reaction from watching a movie. But then again the stuff I've desensitized myself to on purpose is not this sort of topic. It's the more basal fears. I can watch a slasher flick no problem. It's easier to desensitize yourself to basal fears.

Should book another appointment with my psychiatrist and therapist. 😢 It's long overdue for both but grieving has gotten in the way of everything else. My doctor is on holiday for around when I'm supposed to be in for my surgery also.

I'd like to hope I'm smarter and better and more functional and a good person when compared to my teenage years. Much to think about.

I want to try to think of something else though. Not ready to be introspective about this. Not ready to challenge.

#text post #negative #spoilers #cw: child neglect #cw: child abuse #long post

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