An Unexpected Enemy
This is literally a silly little dribble I wrote after this silly thought I posted wouldn't leave my mind. Just some early day fun with the Batch and brothers being brothers. Crosshair can't take corners. Someone give Hunter an aspirin. They haven't even left Kamino and he needs it already.
WC: 576
Characters: The Bad Batch pre Echo
Tags: Just brotherly fun, they swear
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“Alright lads, this isn’t any different than the simulator. We’ve done this a thou-“
“Oof!”
“We’ve done this a thousand times before. We’ll go in qui-“
Bang “Agh!”
“Go in quick and quiet. Wrecker, you’ll remain on the Marauder for back up. Shouldn’t be necessary with Crosshair’s eyes on us, but we’ll com-“
Scrape. Bang. “Agh! Fucking wall.”
“Crosshair!” Hunter whipped around to his silver-haired brother causing the other three batchers to halt their march to the hangar. “That thing doesn’t even stick out that far. Just, walk 2 inches more away from the wall!”
Earlier this morning, the sniper was as smug as a pirate on pay day when he was outfitted with his custom sniper perch protruding from his left pauldron.
“Nobody else in the galaxy has an attachment like this. The clankers might as well consider the war lost now,” he crowed, not even noticing his brothers receiving their custom armor before setting out on their first ever mission. This was before Crosshair met an enemy none of them ever anticipated – wall corners.
“I am! You try walking around with a rod poking out from you!” Crosshair shot back.
“Well, just walk on the outside of the group. Tech, go inside.”
“Negative. We tried that formation when leaving the fitting. I am certain my shoulder will be bruised from the amount of times Crosshair’s perch ran into me,” Tech, nose in his datapad, countered.
“Don’t be dramatic. Your shoulder is literally covered in armor,” Crosshair defended, toothpick stabbing at Tech. Pausing his perusing, Tech’s narrowed glare at the sniper was the only response he’d give.
“I got an idea! Why don’t I just carry him to the Marauder?” Wrecker chimed in, moving to take Crosshair under his arm. This earned him a swift punch in the shoulder from the sniper who backed away, poised to strike. As this usually went, Wrecker was only egged on by Crosshair thinking he could take him and advanced on their silver-haired brother as laughter filled the air around them.
Not wanting to be called to the prime minister’s office again this week, moments before their first mission, Hunter stepped in before a brawl broke out in the middle of the hallway.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wrecker, stand down! We’ve gone over this – you can’t antagonize Crosshair for amusement.” Relief passed as he saw Wrecker back off, but not before giving one more fake-out jolt at Crosshair. The sniper was ready to lunge, but Hunter caught him by the waist. “And Crosshair, just because you have eyesight that apparently doesn’t account for depth perception doesn’t mean you have to bite our heads off.”
That earned him a sharp punch in the stomach, but when he felt Crosshair relax, he released him, grumbling and all.
“Alright then. Crosshair, when we come to the corners, just take them wide. You’ll get the hang of it soon. Now, let’s get a move on before we’re late for our first mission.”
The four batchers fell in line once again as Hunter continued where he left off in his strategy briefing. Many corners later, they were coming up to the hangar. Their ship, the Marauder, ready and waiting for them. The excitement was palpable in the air as they reached the gangplank. As they made their way up, Hunter went on with his final orders.
“Alright, Tech, get the ship fired up. We’re out of – “ Scuff, bang, bang. “Oh, for fuck’s sake Crosshair!”
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