#cw: vent

[jjinx1998]

xxtc-96xx Callout post

To start I want you to know I didn't want things to have to come to this but after recent developments and discussions from others I cannot ignore what's been going on for years now. This is a problem revolving around the user @xxtc-96xx , the comic Endertale, and the Undertale fandom. I will try to explain what I know and offer proof when I can, but there might be some sloppiness as this is my first real post on Tumblr. If there is any technical issues about this post, please let me know so I can fix it.

Let me start from the beginning. I have been a long time fan of xxtc-96xx since about 2016 (I will refer to them as TC to make it easier). I have enjoyed looking at the art they create for many years, mainly the ones revolving around Endertale.

Endertale is a fan comic that TC made of the game Undertale. It's a very decent story with a pleasant art style. I would recommend it but I cannot and I will get to why. You see TC has suffered from something that just about any creator can relate to, burnout. The most recent comic page being posted in 2021 though there was already a hiatus established before that.

While they made it long clear that they needed to go on break for personal reasons, people wanted to ask for when they will continue it. Some of them calm and reasonable and other's were very much not nice. TC answered them honestly at first.

Then it started to devolve into troll responses or just not answering.

Not just on Tumblr but people kept asking on Deviantart as well. In fact people are still asking today in 2024. It has gotten so frequent that TC felt it necessary to change their profile header to this:

And it has stayed that way for so long I lost track of when it started. To be fair, even I found the frequent questions to be overwhelming and they just like every artist who makes stuff for free is entitled to take a break from their work. However this post isn't a complaint about how long it takes to finish a comic, it's about something that started because of the wait.

See, their original reason to take a break was because they were too busy with personal matters for them to commit to an actual comic. But as their history up to today has shown that's no longer a valid excuse. As time went on they started to show an interest in the Pokemon fandom. specifically the pokemon known as Mewtwo. To make a long story short, what started as small doodles grew into a whole bunch of fancomics and animations. To compare, they have drawn nearly four times as many Pokemon drawings compared to Undertale. Now, it is perfectly fair and acceptable to find an interest in a different fandom. And while I personally prefer Undertale over Pokemon I completely supported their decision to focus on other fandoms and enjoyed what they made. I also understood their issues with the fandom at the time, some people were rather aggressive, rude, or demanding the comic to be completed, a comic that's completely free that they make no profit out of. I even recall one point they tried to unsuccessfully drag a different content creator into this issue as if it would somehow work.

However I started to notice they had a warped perception on the fandom. Rather than blame the few people that harassed them online with constant asks, they believed that the entire fandom as a whole is to blame as declared it all toxic. Something they insist on repeating to all their fans and making them believe their opinion as fact.

Now for the record I am very aware of how toxic this fandom was and can be at times. I was around since the beginning and have seen just about every drama that has come. From the fans harassing you for not doing the pacifist route in the first time playing, people arguing if either Frisk or Chara is a really bad person, arguing over Frisk's and Chara's gender, is genocide the right choice, is Toriel the bad guy or Asgore, and a controversy revolving around a certain creator of the au Glitchtale (the last one TC coincidentally emulates their "Delay work for one week for every ask" and finds it amusing). I know this fandom is not the best but I love it all the same, it's as much a part of my life as it is for TC. I know I am not perfect at showing my interest for Undertale, as this image of a private ask shows.

Or this time I made a obviously joke ask and apparently I didn't realize a lot of people don't understand sarcasm.

Or when I tried to ask this sincere and nonaggressive question, one of the few times TC isn't putting up some kind of attitude.

Or this other ask from me.

At the end of the day this is just a comic. No one has any right to demand them to continue it or make death threats, this is completely unacceptable. However, at the same time this doesn't mean the creator should dehumanize the entire fandom or punish the few that are being respectful. They wait and what do they get, people mocking them and bullying them. That's what I realized in the past week when I engaged in the comments of a few posts. TC allow their fans to bully the fandom.

I tried to be as calm and reasonable as I can and yet I get called out as a toxic fan. And in the end did TC scold everyone else, no, they basically told me to shut up. I overestimated the fans intelligence and if they could handle basic logic, read the comments for yourself to see my point. As someone with Asperger and anger issues, it's a god given miracle I am still trying to maintain my composure within this insanity that has been going on for years. I have spoken with several content creators who asked to remain anonymous about this entire fiasco and we have similar conclusions about TC.

TC has been through a lot of painful and hurtful comments over the years that they did not deserve in the slightest. They are entitled to do whatever they want with their comic and works. Saying a fandom is or isn't toxic is unhelpful as you fundamentally miss the mark on how fandom culture works. As a creator, it is not right to hang this hiatus over people's heads and string them along. TC does not respect their Undertale fans in the slightest and mocks those who is still waiting. They indirectly encourage their other fans to bully and dehumanize the rest.

I held back on making a comment about all this for two reasons. One, TC's fandom terrifies me. They are complete smug hypocrites who spend way too much time on the internet that they don't realize that if they use their words in real life they will get punched in the face for it. Two, despite everything I still believe that TC can change. I like to believe the best in everyone and that there is hope that maybe this time TC will realize they have become the very thing they hate. That hope has faded to cinders. I'm done with TC, my only concern is the people remaining to wait for the comic.

To everyone who is waiting for Endertale and/or following TC because you like their Undertale stuff, leave them and never come back. They do not respect you, they look down on you, they laugh watching you wait, you deserve better than them. Even if they do finish the comic eventually it will not be made out of love or passion.

DO NOT harass and bully them because of my words. I will not tolerate any attempt to do so.

My final words are for TC if they even decide to read this:

TC, I know we are not friends, you made that clear long ago but I was hoping we could've been. You were a huge inspiration for me in the past and was what pushed me to attempt learning about art. I looked up to you and tried to support you when you were feeling down. You are no longer that person.

You do not have the right to condemn an entire fandom as toxic and declare it as a fact of life. It's people like you that keep the fandoms so divided to this day. It's because of people like you I am scared for my life if I ever mention Undertale in public. Your fixation on the sins of the past prevents us from moving forward. I do not excuse what happened but the past is in the past, get over it and grow up, you are an adult so act like it.

You say you don't owe us any comic or works, well at the same time if you want to mistreat the fandom I care about then I or anybody don't owe you any respect yet I did for nearly five years.

Why? Because I cared about how this all made you feel. What do you see when you look at me, another obsessed toxic fan who should keep their mouth shut or a PERSON with their own thoughts feelings and beliefs?

One of your problems is that you think nothing ever seems to be your fault, just the fans who keep asking. Well maybe they wouldn't have asked if you didn't leave them hanging for almost five years. To me, it no longer matters if you finish Endertale or not.

Maybe you still think it isn't your fault, then that makes me the idiot for hoping you can be better. You hurt me, really hurt me. I don't think I can ever trust someone like you again.

Do you know what I really want?

Your apology. I want you to make a genuine apology to me and the fandom at your actions over the years. I won't block you because being the idiot I am I hope my words mean something to you and you'll want to chat.

But until you wise up ask yourself this familiar question,

Do you really think you are above consequences?

#Endertale #Undertale #call out post #toxicity #cw: vent #undertale comic #long post

[mosovi-vian]

Tired.

Season 3 only made birdman even more special to me. I see myself a lot in Hunter, and while it could just be me projecting I really think his behavior in the past two specials reflects where I am in my own healing journey. The one step forward two steps back then two step forward one step back part of his recovery stage in life hits home. I guess this is vent art?? Abuse recovery is a bitch, and new trauma can always form even when you're making progress. I think that's why Flapjack's death really stuck with me. This is a time in Hunter's life when resiliency is especially needed, and I'm glad that Willow and his friends will be there to support him through it. This character has given me a lot of insight into my own past experiences and inspires me to reach out to find my people in the world, and I cannot thank Dana and the crew enough for the show.

#wowee first drawing ive done in 1 year and a half #and I picked up right where I left off (drawing hunter hhhh) #hunter toh #hunter noceda #the owl house #the owl house season 3 #toh season 3 #toh #toh hunter #toh s3 #toh s3e1 #toh s3e2 #for the future #thanks to them #toh spoilers #cw: vent #cw: abuse #cw: trauma

[susartwork]

I'm dealing with some emotions right now.

To be honest Idk either what's getting me, but I'll be ok soon, I know it, so don't worry.

I'm just saying to my mutuals that I might be less online ÓwÒ

I'm also pretty unmotivated, so ye I'll draw veeery slowly as I did the past days. (And oof I'll draw just whatever the frick I want)

Comic coming soon btw

Take care of yourself y'all ♡

#cw: vent #irl talk #I don't like talking about how I feel #but I can't pretend to be always ok. #My brain being noisyyyy #Covering me in doubts #It is its fault. It's being mean to me >:C #<- Sus doesn't like being serious when she's nervous. #Ignore this

[andiv3r]

Dying. Falling to the floor. Wdym pacing around for several hours is not productive? Wdym walking back and forth from 5:00 AM until 2:00 PM until my feet are sore isn't good or healthy and I'm only doing that to avoid my mom? Wdym only returning home because my legs are cramping and I don't feel physically able to walk anymore isn't a sign that I'm just super into physical fitness?

#vent #cw: vent #i'm losing my shit tbh #i'm about to cry #i want to be at my dad's house right now

[lbodraws]

small vent

explanation for the hiatus is that i lost my job plus other emotionally traumatic stuff and i'm not in a good place mentally. drawing is the only healthy outlet i have, but even that has lost its appeal. plus i think most people are fed up with seeing V4 on the timeline at this point. sorry, i got carried away /gen. drawing her is the only thing keeping me in a relatively positive mindset rn and i understand if the self indulgent cringey art is annoying.

sorry for being a cowabummer.

thank you for reading.

#cw: vent #lbotalks

[across-stars]

I honestly think getting to be trained as a jedi and living at the temple would fix me

#star wars #the jedi order #personal #cw: vent #(minor) vent in tags #just putting this here because the other tags are not sufficient lol #across-stars.post #why are wait lists so long the location i was signed up is closing and now another 5 months have been added to my wait time

[amandacanwrite]

Grief is so hard.

The pain is some of the worst you can ever know on an emotional level. But it’s only you experiencing it, and the rest of the world is just carrying on as it always does.

And you can only think, ‘Don’t they know that the world just ended? How have they not felt everything evaporate?’

But the fact is that you are only one person and your grief is only your own.

And you have to continue playing the game even though you’re straddling the line between what is gone and what remains.

And you have to smile. And be polite.

But the world just ended.

#vent #cw: death #cw: grief #cw: vent

[flamboyant-and-powerful]

Father (Not Once)

Can you hear me? I know I don't talk to you. I know you don't want to talk to me. But I wish you would say something. Anything? Anything at all. Please. Just a sign. Something to tell me i'm doing the right thing? You never were there when I needed you, you know. You were never very kind. You never showed up. You never said a single nice thing. Not once. You always had something negative to say. I'm a wreck; An abomination. How could you have made something so foul? I don't know why you continue on like this.

Did you ever think about how it would make me feel? Did you ever once think of the child you once knew The thing that was full of joy and creativity and life Replaced by this hollow shell? Did you ever think of that kid, When you broke it? I am in it's place You think it is dead It is not It is in me Right where you left it When you shattered it's soul. My soul. Mine. I protect myself from you because you were never gentle, never giving, never providing, Not once, Not ever, not in kind, you never came to my defense, you never helped me. never. not one thing. Not once. You are dead to me, do you hear me? God, do you hear me? Can you hear me shouting? Of course you can't, you never did, you never will. Not once, father. Not once.

#announcer voice #is it religious trauma or is it father issues #the gameshow #plays family feud theme #vent #cw: vent #cw: religion #queer #writing #writer #poem #poetry #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #spilled ink

[gtbutterfly]

"butterflies" - gt story (vent)

this is a self indulgent vent/story post partially based off true events. I might delete it later, but I'll post it just to get it out.

______________________________________________________________

I don’t go to many social gatherings. I’m not very good at making conversation with people. Whenever I go to one, I feel like I’m just there, silently sitting in the corner of the group, while everyone else laughs and talks with each other. I could hardly even bring myself to use my own voice. I didn’t really know the people there that much. I wanted to, they all seemed to be friends with each other, but I was new to the group. I didn’t know if they wanted to know me better. They all seemed nice and accepting, but I still didn’t want to bother them any more than I already was with my presence. So I just stood there at the side of the group, not saying anything, a speck on the ground.

The gathering was for people of various sizes, giants, humans, tinies, etc. I mostly identified with the tiny crowd- it was ironic in a way, being small made me less noticeable, less of a bother. Even though I was just there, not contributing to the conversation at all, they still didn’t seem to mind because I hardly took up any space in the room. There were other tinies there as well, some of them were with me, on the floor staring up at the giants. Some of them were being held by them as they talked. Part of me was jealous of that. Part of me wanted to be held to, but I knew I couldn’t be. These people knew each other, maybe for years, and I was practically a stranger to them, what was even the point of being held if I wasn’t going to say anything to them anyway? So I just sat on the floor with some of the other tinies. I was sitting next to one when it happened. 

A giant picked me up. I was facing away from them, and their hand went under my arms and lifted me off the ground into their palm as they brought me to their face. The entire interaction may have lasted a couple of seconds, but it felt longer. There was this feeling in my stomach I didn’t recognize. It felt almost like nervousness, but in a positive way somehow. Like the feeling you get before going on a roller coaster and bracing yourself for the drop, but instead of fear or excitement, it was something else. At first I thought it could've just been the feeling of being off the ground, a feeling of weightlessness almost, or a pit in my stomach. It took me a while to find the proper words to describe what I was feeling as the giant held me in their soft hand; butterflies. I had butterflies in my stomach.

The giant turned me around towards their face. Their hair was long and pink, their eyes were massive and sparkly. They looked at me for a second, almost confused, confusion I had nearly mistaken for enamored, looking at me with their massive eyes, noticing me despite my size, and not being bothered by my silence, just looking at me, not romantically but just seeing me with their massive eyes and warm smile. They opened their mouths to speak.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to pick you up. I thought you were my friend.” The giant said embarrassingly, in a soft voice. “You don’t mind, do you?” It took me a couple of seconds to respond. Finally, I got my letters together.

“No, I don’t mind, it's ok,” I said, trying to hide what I was feeling. This was the first time a giant had ever picked me up. I didn’t really want the moment to end, even if they didn’t mean to pick me up in the first place. But I knew it wouldn’t last. I knew I couldn’t tell them to keep holding me, since we barely knew each other. I knew their real tiny friend was waiting on the floor to be picked up instead. But even though I knew these things, I had just a sliver of hope that I would stay in their hands, and that this feeling wouldn’t end.

“Oh, ok. I was just worried you’d have a problem with it, since not everyone is into this sorta thing, though most people are,” The giant said. They clearly knew the type of feeling tinies had to be picked up, at least for the first time. Was this what all the tinies with giant friends felt when they elevated them off the ground to talk eye to eye? Was this something I would only feel during the first time? What if I was never lifted again? What if this accident was the only time I ever get held up because I’m too much of a coward to ask these giants to just hold me, and I’m too shy to try making friends with any of them? I considered for a moment asking if I could still be held, but it was too late. They gently set me down on the ground and picked their actual friend up. 

I haven’t been the same since then. I’ve started trying to interact with these people more so I could be friends with them, so the giants would hold me and I could feel that way again. I haven’t been doing too well, I’ve been to a few other meetups and gatherings, but I still haven’t gotten myself to speak to them more. I’ve felt like apologizing for not making more of an effort, but I don’t want them to think I want them to feel bad for me. I don’t want to be pitied. Still, I don’t know if they would understand if I just asked them to pick me up, given they don’t know me that way. I don’t know if I really want to be friends with them, if I want to be around and talk to them, or if I just want to feel the way I did in that giant's hand again. Maybe those things are related to each other, but I have no way of knowing. I know they would probably be understanding and accepting of me, but I just don’t want to bother them. I don’t want to seem like I want them to feel bad for me, or be an annoying tiny that wants to be picked up, or a third wheel that just exists in the background. But I feel like I can’t be what they are to each other. I feel like I can’t be a good friend to them, like I’m just there and not contributing anything, or getting in the way. I know they wouldn’t feel that way towards me, I know they would want to be nice and get to know me more, and they wouldn’t think I’m getting in the way just with my presence alone. but I don’t think they would consider me a friend, just someone they know, or know off. So until they do, I’ll try to keep being there, and not getting in the way, just being a speck on the ground, not part of the conversation.  Maybe one day, though, I will be able to talk to them. Maybe one day, they will know me enough to consider me a friend. Maybe one day, they’ll hold me like they do the tinies they’ve known for years, even if I don’t talk or contribute anything. But I don’t know if they would want to do that. I don’t know if I deserve to be held again at all. 

#cw: vent #tw vent #vent post #g/t #gt community #g/t community #sfw g/t #giant/tiny #hand held #giant tiny #g/t writing #gt writing #might delete later #don't feel bad for me #just a vent #don't worry

[yellowanz]

CW: subtle s/h marks, no blood.

rendered art! this took me a while. :)

#camp camp #campcamp #anz's art #art #david cc #david camp camp #camp camp david #cc david #cw: self harm #cw s/h #s/h cw #s/h tw #tw s/h #cw: vent #personal vent #vent #vent art #digital #digital art #camp camp fanart #rendered

[lilliths-httyd-blog]

For most of my life I thought that the "sense of pride and satisfaction" people get after finishing a painfully difficult tasks was a myth teachers told us about to get us to work hard.

Turns out neurotypicals get a dopamine boost from completing tasks they find immensely difficult and incredibly mentally taxing.

I don't. Because I'm neurodivergent. I just feel exhausted and upset.

Then the workload increases (I'm handed a new task or whatever) because they think I can handle it because surely that dopamine boost that I never got would have replenished my mood and energy enough to get started no problem.

Nah, I'm still exhausted. And now I'm not only expected to have the energy to do new task but also have the energy to re-focus my brain onto the new task (which is a mentally taxing process in itself and can take me a really long time depending on how exhausted I am).

This is why I find life so exhausting compared to others.

#adhd #neurodivergency #cw: vent

[anaberrry]

I hate when people downplay my pain by saying "Well, I've seen to do (xyz) before". Yeah. Exactly. That's what's so fucking scary. Is that a year ago I could have done (xyz) and now I can't.

#cw: vent #just going through it #driving standing and sitting are the worst #berry chats #heds

[kachikirby]

I don't really care if this is slight venting or not but I always kind of think about how a lot of my relatives ask why I didn't go into art for my major.

Which is always a funny question because my art isn't good enough for that stuff.

It wasn't until recently that I have a proper answer to that question.

Of course, there's the simple explanation of "my art just isn't good enough to be paid for", which I still say is a factor, but of course there's more to that.

Another reason is that I always have the constant feeling of "my best isn't enough" because I can do my best on a piece of art, but it will never be good enough for what others are looking for no matter what I do.

I've seen people talk about how miserable they are with taking art-related majors and it kind of opened my eyes to how awful it actually is. Like why would you want to subject yourself to something this awful? Are they masochists? Do they really want to turn something that was a fun hobby into something they loathe doing every day?

Not to mention a lot of these people likely will never get noticed because let's be honest: art is not about skill, but numbers. Studios don't want skilled artists, they want a brand. So, unless you have a massive following on social media, then tough luck.

Now this might sound a bit mean to some people, but I'd sooner call myself brutally honest.

#artists on tumblr #cw: vent #art major

[mishwanders]

2024 trying to take me out before it even buys me dinner first smh

#for fucks sake #I’m suffering severely #it has been one thing after another this year #I just want a fucking break #mish rambles #cw: vent

[medlabmech]

Okay. Genuine question.

How the fuck do you *enjoy* masculinity??? Why do you even like and choose to be men???

Because what my experience with masculinity has taught me is that it's an endless parade of misery. You are never enough for ANYONE, you're just a failure to all, you gotta follow all these stupid rules, you have to go fucking die in battle, you have to oogle at women and act like a fucking rapist all the time and I HATE IT

I HATE ALL OF THEM, I HATE MASCULINITY I HATE BEING A STUPID MAN AND SUFFER THROUGH THIS SHIT FOR 23 FUCKING YEARS

FUCK, FUCK FUUUUUCK

FUCK

FUCK

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

#medie's thoughts #cw: vent #I'm sorry if this ramble ends up in your dash #but it's too much sometimes #it's too much

[amara-among-the-stars]

#cw: vent #i guess? #shitposting #amara posts