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punkpandapatrixk · 5 days

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❤️‍🩹I Just Want to be Loved ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

We attract terrible loves for various reasons; so many lessons; but now sorrow has got to lessen. Let’s reveal patterns by exhuming roots. We’ve got to stop this cycle of disappointments. Done being made to feel as if we’re hard to love.

We’re not hard to love. Many of us were simply denied love, warmth and affection as we were growing up… Don’t know how to love self; don’t know how to love others; basically don’t know how to even receive Love… Who’s to blame now?

Why the hell were so many children denied love, warmth, affection…?

What are you going to do with yourself when you were denied love, warmth and affection as you were growing up?

☆♪°・.

‘The child who isn’t embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’ – an African proverb

People denied warmth and affection tend to fall into a desperate loop of fishing for attention as a result of love-deficiency, right? Some learn to lick love off a knife; some pursue success (whatever that means) all too frantically; some…shoot complete strangers in broad daylight; and some who ain’t got the guts to murder complete strangers in public places go instead for antagonising strangers on social media… Gosh, that is desperate.

But you know what, not all hope is lost because there’s still plenty of us who are blessed with this incredibly RARE thing called self-awareness. There are plenty of us who will take our traumas to the graveyard than pass them down the next generations.

You, don’t deserve to have your sanity and your Life ruined by some psychos who didn’t know how to love you. Reclaim lost pieces of yourself by understanding THREE Houses in your natal chart, babe:

4th House: your roots; tells you what was lacking in your home; explains your erratic 10th House ambitions

8th House: your marriage or your desire for a bond like it; this the House where trauma manifests itself in full spectrum

11th House: your wish fulfilment; where you connect with people who support your visions; breeds a healthy sense of connection, even community

SONG: Emptiness by BoA

MOVIE: Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Because I Can’t Even Trust Myself

VIBE: Trust by Hamasaki Ayumi

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Pentacles Rx

It’s clear your childhood didn’t offer a sense of stability or security—the physical kind that children usually need. It could be that a grownup left early or it could be that you moved around a lot, so you easily lost contact with new friends you’d just made. In essence, it feels like you grew up feeling ‘everything disappears eventually; everyone leaves eventually’.

Some of you might’ve grown up not having a lot of material resources, but for the majority of you tuning into this Pile, it was more a feeling of a lack of warmth. For children, the pain of neglect and a lack of emotional connection do really affect our physical health more severely. You might’ve grown up poor and sickly due to all the grownups around you being inattentive, unaffectionate, and just…unreliable at best.

Because of this awareness, from a young age you realised you would have to do everything yourself. You wanted to grow up quickly and do your own things your own ways. It’s not like you had to grow up fast, you wanted to grow up fast to have your freedom and power! It was…hard to trust adults. It was hard to trust the world at large.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 8 of Pentacles

On the path of growing up, I think you became a hard worker of sort? This is very nuanced though—there are layers to your developing yourself to become a hardworking person. In many ways, you grew up responsible because you didn’t want to become like the adults who had disappointed you. But since this sense of ‘responsibility’ is a product of neglect and trauma…this is coming off as your feeling responsible for everything. Everything!

Some of you could’ve been too hard on yourself, expecting way too much for your age. You’ve felt like you’re always the one with everything to prove. It’s hard living like that. It feels like you’ve put so much effort into keeping everything together, and yet, nobody sees how much you care. Nobody truly understands the fear in your mind and pain you carry in your heart.

In matters of relationship, you cling extra hard to friends or lovers, too; because deep down you’re afraid of losing things and people, again and again. This unhealthy attachment—and to some extent, controlling behaviour—is truly your wounded inner child attempting frantically to keep your Reality from falling apart…

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Cups

I’m very sure that at some point in Life, your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides are going to kick in and meddle with your Earthly business. For some people, it’s possible you could lose contact with everybody you’ve ever known in Life and go into a hermit mode to find yourself again. For some, it could be that your whole Life is simply flipped, without necessarily losing key people in your Life, for you to look at Life and human connections from a very different point of view.

It’s going to be hard, of course. Emotionally, it could be devastating. Themes of abandonment and betrayal are big in your incarnation. But you know, ultimately, all of these challenges serve to remind you that the Cup of Love and Affection you’ve been looking for has always been right inside of you. You’ve had a bitter time with a lot of people because deep down you couldn’t trust them. You couldn’t trust other people’s loyalty because you didn’t even believe that you’re worthy of that Love and Loyalty you yearn for.

Your Spirit Guides are saying, that although at some point in Life things are going to get really tough, know that when you’ve graduated those lessons, you’re going to be rewarded with the most beautiful Soulmate-shit friendships, familyship and relationship. Truth be told, part of your Soul’s scenario in this incarnation is to find your Soul Tribe; and find your Tribe you shall~

A L O N E🔻💗

ALL of you – Red Alchemist (John Dee)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Healing

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Misled by My Own Compassion

VIBE: Cry Me A River by Julie London

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Knight of Cups

It’s very likely your 4th House is in a Water sign, but if not, you’re still very much a Water-y person; perhaps your Ascendant or Moon is in a Water sign, or that you have Neptune/Moon near/in your 4th, 7th or 11th House. All of this generally makes you a deeply compassionate person. No matter what outer appearances give, you strive to look deeper into a person’s Soul. You have so much empathy and you want to believe in the good of people.

Alas! This rotten world doesn’t make it too easy. This world is not a world where kindness and compassion are truly rewarded, if we don’t learn to be a tad cruel ourselves. You’re not in the wrong for being so genuinely good and compassionate; it’s this world that’s the wrong world. You know that? Therefore, it is paramount you learn to be a bitchilante! But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In spite of this PAC’s intro, I sense the majority of you tuning into this Pile actually grew up quite well. Many of you actually grew up in loving homes and that’s why it’s been quite challenging for you to grapple with the realness of the ugliness of the world outside of your loving home. Really…people in the real world…are monsters! And you were taken aback!

But some of you instead most likely grew up in chaotic, battlefield-esque homes and that’s why you’ve striven to be so good to a point of detriment.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 0 The Fool Rx

Be that as it may, you being you… Well, you do put in the effort to try and understand what makes monsters the way that they are, right? It’s all good and wonderful, until you get yourself in deep trouble where nobody can save you but your own monstrosity. Depending on your age when reading this, this could be something that’s happened in the past or will happen; where you will be forced to grow up in the sense of seeing the world as it is and get firm with assholes!

Dr Jordan Peterson has this gold shit to summarise this spiritual lesson you will be taking at some point in Life: ‘You should be a monster, an absolute monster, and then you should learn to control it.’ Well, that’s male speech. In female speech, we just say: ‘you gotta grow up and be a bitchilante!’

Be a bitch only to those who deserve it. How would you protect yourself from monsters if you don’t have the strength to fight them at their own game, darling? If you’re harmless, weak as a fawn, if anything, the real monsters in the world are going to toy with your sanity: ‘I saw my “crazy” side once and decided I wouldn’t be involved with anyone that would take me out of my peace like that ever again.’

Be a bitchilante. That whole concept of ‘good, harmless, love and light, positivity-only’ bullshit was put out there not to really make you good but to weaken you against the truly monstrous ones. WAKE UP, BITCH!

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Pentacles

So? So what if you’re selective with your affection? Not everybody deserves your compassion. That’s for sure. There are many people in the world and you can’t be nice to all of them. One at point or another, you’re gonna be a villain in someone’s story—so what? Everybody else is the main character of their own Stories; that, you can’t control.

Be careful that you’re not falling victim to your own narcissism in wanting to be praised in everybody’s Story, yeah? So then, pertaining to your 11th House, weirdly enough, your wish fulfilment is in the form of a psychological liberation from your own idea of yourself in the minds of others. I sense that if you’re East Asian this is gonna resonate much harder and louder LOL

Anyway, I want to assure you that once you’ve graduated from your spiritual lessons, you will be met with unique, courageous, rebellious weirdos who will be just as clear as you are about what it truly means to be a good person in a world that’s often very bad. How good should a person be to truly be considered a good person?

‘If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.’ – Fuckology

A L O N E🔻💚

ALL of you – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Success

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Lights Out; I’m Out to Find Myself

VIBE: To. X by Taeyeon

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Cups Rx

I’ve to preface this Pile by saying this the pile that gets a little violent…

You were originally such a positive, happy-go-lucky kid, but quite early on, this world gave you so much darkness. So many reasons to be sad. It’s not been a very kind life, to be honest. Defo many of you have tragical placements here—your 4th or 5th House could start or end in Scorpio; have Lilith/Pluto/Chiron/Saturn there or in the sign of Cancer/Pisces; or it could be that your Venus/Moon is imprisoned in the 8th or 12th House and harshly aspected, too...

If your childhood has been violent or mightily confusing, it’s a group thing, OK? You can think like that. It’s not your fault. Know that practically everybody who has these harsh placements has gone through very similar things as you. So you’re really not the only one who’s failing—whatever that means. You’ve been gaslit a lot into believing there’s something wrong with you, but it was your environment that was just filled with totally terrible Human beings. That much I’d like to assure you.

It wasn’t natural how you were abused psychologically and emotionally. The people around you drew a parallel to Cinderella’s stepsisters in the Disney classic. It’s ridiculous like that. I think you grew up terribly lonely and created comfort characters in your head to console your sorrows? It’s very likely that your comfort characters were in actuality a mirror fragment of your Soul Family’s existence locked in your memory bank.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – XIV Temperance Rx

Life, unfortunately, isn’t a Disney movie. As a result of the psychological and emotional abuse you’ve endured in childhood, your friendships and relationships might’ve been quite turbulent, at times even violent. Juuust a small number of you could’ve dealt with being called a violent kid, or you could’ve struggled with anger management and have terrible tantrums. All of these have made human connections quite difficult to navigate.

It’s not like you want to be a nasty person, right? Many times, you couldn’t help the way you react/respond to what’s being said and unsaid because, somehow, there are many things that people do and say that trigger a trauma response in you. There’s a very difficult Mars thingy going on here. I think many of you resonating with this Pile have some difficult Mars (ruler of Scorpio) placements/aspects that affect the way you manifest human connections in your Life.

Speaking in terms of synastry, it could be that you’ve attracted a great deal of people whose Mars aspected badly in your natal chart—consequently triggering bad traumas and manifesting violent outbursts in your connections. Ultimately though, these negative experiences with other people could’ve enforced your belief about how unlovable you are, which, really, is a false belief…

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 5 of Wands

It is a false Reality that you’re unlovable or unworthy of a healthy relationship. That bullshit was implanted in you through the creation of a harsh environment that caused you a great deal of rage. Of course, you’re accountable for how you behave towards other people, but your foundation was never quite healthy or peaceful or harmonious, so… How about we put it all behind us and focus on healing? After all, it’s not like the people you’ve had a beef with were completely innocent? XP

It's kinda selfish to think like that, but you can depend on your own discernment to distinguish who amongst the people you’ve hurt or had a beef with to apologise to. Remember: sometimes apologies only make you weaker and looking at the unique bullshit astrological placements you were born with… apologising to the wrong fucker would only get you gaslit even more! So, don’t. Don’t apologise for the distress you experienced under other people’s lack of support.

Burn that bridge and detach yourself from that old stinking world. With your sheer willpower, you have it in you to rebuild your own little world of love and peace. After all, those harsh placements you were born with, are you aware of just how much power they bestow you? These placements come with a lot of turbulences but once you graduate your first Saturn Return, they also give you a burst of power unlike any other!

Lights out. Not entertaining aenergies that seek to nip your power at the bud anymore. Burn, baby, burn strong! Burn the whole Tower and find yourself on new lands~!

A L O N E🔻💜

ALL of you – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Solitude

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

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tag-devilish · 1 month

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I have a project to present to you,

dear creatures. One close to my heart that -should it come to fruition- will require your participation. A couple years ago I made a design, The cycle breaking Ouroboros. My skills have grown since then and I try to do a redraw of said design every year.

I’ve seen a few people get this design tattooed on them, I’ve sold a lot of tattoo passes of this particular design but sadly; I have yet to actually tattoo this design on anyone myself.

I aim to fix that this year; but I want to be specific. I really want to do a series of tattoos with variants of this design—featuring different types of snakes on different people. People who have all broken cycles in some manner. If the participants are open to it, maybe we could record the session and talk a little about life. If they rather be private, then we can just record the tattoo process itself.

For these tattoos I’d like to ask for below my minimum, so I can get supplies - $60

and to ensure the participants are serious and will commit to a session.

I’m located in the mountains of Southern California and if this is a project you’d like to be involved in please message me and let’s set something up. This is an idea close to my heart and it will be handled with sensitivity and earnestness. Ultimately this is art I wish to create that requires the collaboration of very special canvases and I hope perhaps I can find them.

Cheers to the cycle breakers.

-Tag

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whimsicalpoet44 · 1 year

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Cycle Breaker Placements

Placements I see in charts that indicate someone is here to work through generational trauma and promote healing. These placements can be really tough, but offer a really unique perspective of the world.

They can also reap the most benefits once they work through their lessons.

Biggest indicators are 4th house, 8th house, 12th house, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Aries placements. Also big emphasis on harsh aspects related to Pluto/Mars/Moon/Saturn/Sun. But these are one that stick out to me the most.

✨Pluto in the 12th House. This placement indicates a lot of childhood trauma. When I see someone with this placement, I know they've been through it. I have instant respect for them. Most individuals with this placement don't realize their own inner power. It's hidden in their subconscious underneath years of memories where they were told that they were powerless. They are SO powerful and they don't even realize it. Especially if their Pluto is in Scorpio, but this applies to all 12th House Plutos. Once they recognize their own power, they're literally unstoppable.

✨Chiron in Gemini/3rd House. These individuals have a fear of being seen. They struggle to use their voice and speak their truth. Their path is usually the road less traveled, and it can feel isolating at times. They might have felt like their opinions never mattered in childhood and struggle with a need to be understood. Once they use their voice, they can affect powerful change to those around them.

✨Lilith in Cancer/Lilith 4th House. This placement indicates that the person will be working through generational trauma related to the mother or the maternal side of the family. Emotional needs are likely not met in childhood, which causes the person to have trouble accepting/asking help from others. But they also can't completely help themselves. Nurturing their emotions helps them unlock all the power of Lilith.

✨Saturn Conjunct Moon. Saturn and the Moon have opposing energies. The Moon is nurturing. Saturn is the disciplinarian. Often times, it can also be interpreted to represent the Mother (Moon) and the Father (Saturn). The paternal figure might've been absent or ill. The maternal figure could've been stressed and emotionally reactive. Someone with this aspect basically has to become their own parent. They're forced to learn emotional regulation, self-respect, and self-love. It teaches them that they have value and they likely break a lot of toxic cycles during self-growth.

✨Mars in a fire sign + in the 4th House. Inheriting a parent's reactive nature is likely with this placement. At least this is what I've noticed when I've interpreted charts. Fire signs are quick to act and they are sometimes viewed as impulsive. With a fire Mars in the 4th House, they'll be forced to confront their explosive anger. If not, they can repeat toxic generational cycles. Their parents were likely aggressive and threatened their safety in the home. This is a REALLY tough placement.

✨Chiron in the 5th House. Inner child wounds are prevalent here. The individual's self-expression is limited or repressed, likely due wounds from a parent or caretaker in childhood. They hide the important parts of themselves and have a really hard time being vulnerable with anyone, including themselves. Embracing creativity and accepting themselves is how they heal. In the process, they break negative generational cycles.

✨Capricorn Moon. These individuals had a lot of expectations placed on them in childhood. They might have been forced to step up in their childhood and could've been more of a parent than their actual parents, raising themselves and/or siblings. They're seen as the responsible ones, and might have faded into the background, causing their needs to go unmet. Their caretakers could've put work before play, causing these individuals to adopt the same approach. They must learn how to be vulnerable and experience joy with others.

✨Venus in Scorpio (Bonus points if it's in retrograde). Trauma related to a person's sense of self-worth is common. They might have low self-esteem or struggle to navigate relationships. There's a possibility that your caretakers relationship was volatile, leaving them to be afraid of intimacy (i.e. Divorce). There could be possessiveness or jealousy in romantic relationships as well. Even obsessiveness. Finding a way to balance these energies and re-shape how they define relationships helps. They also undergo the most transformation in romantic relationships.

✨Moon Square Mercury. Emotions were not safe to express in childhood. They might have problems making decisions, constantly warring between their mind and their heart. They could lean onto old belief systems or coping skills, even when they know it doesn't work. After a while, they'll be forced to change their approach on how they deal with their emotions. Thus, breaking toxic cycles learned in childhood.

✨Saturn in the 12th House. Wounds here could be attributed to past life trauma, but it's usually agitated in childhood. These individuals are really hard on themselves and believe they don't deserve anything good in life. There's potential for memory suppression and a tendency to disassociate. Absent paternal figures are common with this placement. When they prioritize their mental health and work towards healing, they break generational curses.

✨Aquarius Placements. These individuals are often tasked with pursuing their own path and deviating from the "norm." Therefore, they struggle with trauma in childhood. They might have been bullied for their unique interests. They could be the family outcast. Whatever it is, they take their own path. They might break familial expectations that had been adhered to for generations. Therefore, breaking the cycle.

✨Pluto in Scorpio. Generationally, this is the one. Being mostly raised by boomer parents, they pulled the rug out from underneath their parents, calling out toxicity. They likely trigger their parents without even trying. They hold up a mirror, highlighting what their parents could've been if they had broken the cycle.

✨Sagittarius Mercury. They can't help it. They word vomit their observations. A lot of the times, it could be done with innocent intention. However, being catalysts for chaos, they open boxes that their families have tried desperately to keep shut. They are brutally honest and care fiercely about discovering the truth. Sometimes, they intentionally cause chaos for change. Letting little bits of information or truth slip, they can have their family in uproar and questioning their entire existence. They're the voice of truth. And their family can't escape it. And they might hate them for it. But they just can't help it. It comes out of their mouth before they have the chance to think about it. (12th House Sag Mercury individuals might have a different presentation/experience of this placement).

✨Pisces Moon/Rising. These individuals can have challenging relationships with their mothers or maternal figures. They typically lack boundaries and experience pretty intense people pleasing behaviors. They're also very different from the rest of their family, usually. They'll be put in situations by the universe to craft their own identity and stand up for themselves. They can be the first to educate themselves on boundaries and actually implement them.

✨8th House Suns. They are often used by the universe for change and upheaval. 8th House Suns don't always have to do something for this to happen. Their very existence can be triggering to others. This is because they are usually showcasing their best qualities by simply being themselves. This causes others to feel insecure, because they begin to recognize the qualities they lack inside of themselves. So, 8th House Suns end up becoming the family scapegoat. If you're an 8th house Sun, just remember that it isn't you. It's someone projecting their own problems onto you. There's power there if you know how to use it.

✨Neptune/Uranus in the 1st House. These individuals often have an air of mystery surrounding them. No one can really figure them out. So they end up having others project their assumptions about their character onto them. This is another placement where their very existence is troubling to others. Because they become a sounding board for others' insecurities.

I'll do more of these later and make this a series!

#astrology observations #astro observations #astrology #generational trauma #generational healing #cycle breaker #12th house #8th house #scorpio

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professorbussywinkle · 8 months

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Some people have kids because they want a slave...

....Think for a second

The obsession with punishment and discipline and "teaching them a lesson" often in brutal, unforgiving ways that don't teach them to follow their internal guide, but to fear your wrath if they do something you might perceive as wrong

The lack of respect for their bodily autonomy, their feelings, and their personhood

Treating everything they do or say like it's beneath consideration or without any value or significance if it does not serve you in some immediate gratifying way

The overemphasis on obedience being a central factor to how much moral worth they have as a human being

Using the provision of basic necessities(food housing, clothing) to justify mistreating them, treating the provision as something that can be withheld if they misbehave or "step out of line"

Believing their child is somehow always up to no good for no certifiable reason, to justify invading their privacy, denying them access to their social circles and means of communication

Publicly shaming or humiliating their child on camera and posting it on the internet in order to get them to behave in the ways you want them to

Soliciting their child's opinion, then yelling at them for disagreeing with you or "talking back". Also ranting at length about things they know their kids disagree with them about until their kid finally reaches a breaking point and says something, at which point, they're horrible combative children for constantly arguing with you

Treating their emotions as frivolous and pointless, or a sign of weakness not to be expressed freely and openly, forcing them to walk on eggshells around you for fear that anything could potentially set you off

Frequently telling them how lucky they are to not be physically abused. also not telling you what made them angry, leaving you not knowing what it was that upset them and them deliberately not telling you when you inquire about it

Using the excuse "I am your parent, so I know what's best for you" in order to force children to do something that is only meant to make the parent feel in control, and not for their child's well-being.

alluding that you are the sole reason why they can’t do whatever the hell they want and wished you didn’t even exist so they can have more freedom. (This one hits close to home for me)

These types of parents get off on this, literally...in an almost pornographic way it would seem, by pushing around, harming, and denigrating someone who's smaller and weaker than them, by exerting power and control over a little human being who is unable or unwilling to fight back against them, all so they can flex their big boy muscles, all so they can prove they have dominion over you and show you that you have no power to do anything about it, and then deluding themselves about how it's all about "discipline" or "teaching" so they don't feel bad about it

Does it make you feel so fucking powerful??

Does it make you feel so in control??

Does it make you feel so badass??

abusing and traumatizing a vulnerable little person half your fucking size and feasibly being able to get away with it under the guise of "discipline" with no reproach or recourse because you can't or refuse to deal with your own emotional damage??

Demon behavior.

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