#cyclothymic disorder

[jamieofpentacles]

No one talks about how lonely mania is. How much it constantly feels like you're at a party that no one attends. When you feel like you absolutely must go somewhere and do something but there's nowhere to go and nothing to do. Desperately begging everyone you know to hang out with you, but they all have plans because you could barely get out of bed two days ago.

#bipolor #cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder

[bipolarcultureis]

Welcome to bipolar culture is!

This blog is for anyone on the bipolar spectrum, including bipolar 1, 2, 4, cyclothymia, and unspecified.

Asks start with any variation of 'bipolar culture is', questions are also allowed. This blog supports personality disorders, paraphilias, otherkin, systems of any origin, etc. As long as you're not hurting anyone, this blog supports you.

We are a system, frequent fronters include Salem, Sylvester, and Fleur, but other alters may pop in.

No set DNI, just no assholes.

#hypomania #mania #bipolar #bipolor #bipolaire #cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder #mood disorder #depressive episode #manic episodes #psychosis #actually psychotic #grandiosity #bipolar culture #bipolar culture is #culture is #intro post #introduction #blog intro #introductory post #actually mentally ill #mental illness #bipolar positivity #bipolar posting #bipolar disorder #bipolar depression #hypomanic

[bug-woman]

You girls only love me for my mood disorder

#smh #cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder #mood disorder

[atypicalstrong]

heeeeeeey these meds are great actually. like i'm simultaneously mad/frustrated with all my old doctors and myself for never suggesting or seeking out mood stabilizers before. like i didn't remember this, but according to my records my old psychiatrist recommended 2 years of ECT without ever having given me a mood stabilizer to try. like. that's wild. it makes me so mad. just bc my diagnosis back then was major depression and cyclothymia, mood stabilizers were never considered but electroshock WAS...

but also, and more importantly, i'm just so THRILLED to have them now. like. i thought my brain was just broken beyond repair. and in a way it is, but that doesn't mean i can't do daily maintenance. i haven't felt this good since 2019. at least.

anyways the point is, if you have bipolar disorder or cyclothymia, maybe try taking a mood stabilizer BEFORE agreeing to ECT. even if you're young. no one explained to me that mood stabilizers (specifically anti-psychotic class ime, not anti-convulsant class or lithium) could help where anti depressants failed. I didn't even know I had a cyclothymia diagnosis until 3 months after I started ECT.

just because you've tried lots of anti depressants or anti anxiety meds, doesn't mean there aren't meds out there that can help you. do your own research. make sure you know all your diagnoses. get second and third opinions. ECT should always be a last resort for suicidal depression and/or bipolar patients. (obligatory "i cannot speak to ECT when used to treat epilepsy that's a totally different ball game")

you don't have to keep living like this. there are other options. it can and WILL get better even though it's not easy.

#bipolar disorder #bipolar #cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder #major depression #major depressive disorder #ect #ect therapy #electroconvulsive therapy #mood stabilizers #disability #mental disability #mental illness #neurodivergence #uhhhh idk what else to tag that's actually relevant #just ya know..... if a doctor tells you there are No More Drugs to try and instead wants to shoot lighting through your brain #maybe get a second or third opinion before you agree #seriously wishing i had

[iluv4my]

#reality shifting #inner thoughts #inner child #inner peace #innerstrength #my inner demons #3am thoughts #3am things #cyclothymic disorder

[kores-pomegranate]

I’ve been thinking for a while that I’d like to write down what it feels like when I’m at my worst. I think the human brain, for all of its wonder, does a shit job of hanging onto things, especially things that are painful. I’ve found that I can never quite recall what my body feels like or what thoughts race through my head when I feel very low.

I’m not at my lowest at the moment, but it was recent enough that I can remember pretty well. Last week, my doctor and I came to the agreement that I probably have cyclothymia. Even as a mental health professional, I didn’t know much about it outside of people calling it “Bipolar Lite ™️.” My doctor asked me if I’d ever had consistent relief from my anxiety. The answer to that is “fuck no.” If I feel consistently neutral, that’s about as good as it gets. I never feel consistently *good.* There are moments, here and there. Flashes, sometimes even a week or two at a time where I feel pretty good.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had COVID or chronic bronchitis, but if you have you probably know what it feels like not to be able to take a truly deep breath without sputtering or getting light-headed. That’s how those “pretty good” stretches feel for me. I can’t breathe all the way, I can’t settle. Always, always, a l w a y s there is background static flavored with fear. Justified fear, even. A body tensed waiting for the gun to go off to begin the sprint; all potential energy waiting for my next meltdown or crisis. And the fear is justified because one of the only certainties I can rely on when it comes to my brain is that it will freak the fuck out at some point. It doesn’t matter if everything is fine, it doesn’t matter if I’ve been doing well or taking my medications and going to therapy. I can always count on a meltdown that burns through that potential energy so fast that it brings my functioning to a screeching halt.

Anyway, back to my doctor. I told him, with less flowery language, that I’ve felt that way my whole life with little relief. To my surprise, he looked…relieved? Excited? He told me that he’d been wondering about cyclothymia for me ever since I told him I wasn't sure if one (of my four) anxiety meds was working.

Because, the thing is, it should have been working.

If what I have been experiencing was traditional anxiety, the cocktail of medications I was on should have knocked it out. And I definitely should not have had breakthrough panic attacks, self harm relapses, or roller coasters of SI.

My doc took my pulse which was sitting at around 150. He looked alarmed and took it three more times. He confirmed that I'd taken all of my meds. And then, he looked determined. He told me he thought I'd benefit from a mood stabilizer that was specifically developed for cyclothymia, to help treat hypomania.

Oh, hypomania. The "less severe" form of manic episodes. It's true, in some regards, I suppose. I don't experience week-long hells where I feel euphoric and invincible and out of control. I don't spend thousands of dollars I don't have on things I don't need. I don't make reckless or dangerous decisions with sex or drugs or food and I don't get psychosis. I'm thankful I don't have to endure those things.

But I don't get the supposed "good stuff" that is supposed to accompany hypomania. I don't get a sudden burst of energy and productivity that compels me to delightedly clean my house or do meal prep. I don't have days where I wake up in a sudden and miraculous good mood that lasts for a few days.

No, I don't get any of that. I get days and moments where my body feels like it is ripped from my control with absolutely no warning. I get, in a matter of seconds, a heart rate that jumps from 65 to 180. A rush of adrenaline that makes my body shake. The sudden and crushing belief that *nothing is okay and I will never be okay." The near incontrollable urge to just r u n a w a y. The urge to self harm. Sometimes actual self harm because feeling anything else would be better than this. Sometimes the urge to just…be gone. Because if this is my life I don't want it anymore.

That is what hypomania is like for me. Feeling as though someone broke into my car and is driving it wherever they want, even though I'm in the backseat losing my shit and fighting to regain control. It's not a fight I ever win. Instead, it's as though the thief gets bored and ditches me and my car in whatever state they put us in.

"See you soon," it always says.

Fear has been the soundtrack of my life for as long as I can remember. Today marks one week of taking mood stabilizers and 0 days since my last hypomanic episode.

I'm happy to still be here. It's nice to feel hopeful, even if I'm really fucking suspicious about it.

And to that car thief I say, "fuck you."

#cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder #hypomania #dysphoric hypomania #mental illness #story time #TW: SI #tw: anxiety #tw: long post #tw: self destruction #lore drop #bipolar #me

[dis-astre]

discovering ten years+ after being diagnosed that cyclothymia isn't just a fancy word for "frequent mood swings bc i'm a sad and annoying kid" but a real thing just bc my little brother was the only one smart enough to think of looking the definition on google is an experience i never thought i'd live but here we are

#i obviously thanked him a lot #cause like i was 10 back then #but the psychiatrist could have at least explained it to my parents??????? #cyclothymic disorder #cyclothymia #mental health

[livewelltalk]

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition in which a person experiences extreme mood swings, typically between extreme highs (mania) and extreme lows (depression). The mood swings can last for weeks, months, or even years.

People with bipolar disorder may have a great deal of energy and motivation one day, followed by complete exhaustion the next. They may have a lot of thoughts and feelings that are out of control, and they may be unable to focus or make decisions.

Each type of bipolar disorder includes periods of highs and lows. The major difference between forms of the disorder is how extreme the mood swings are and how long they last. In all types, there are periods between manic or depressive episodes when symptoms lessen or people feel stable.

Bipolar I Disorder: chronic mood swings that go from very high manic states to severe depressive episodes.

Bipolar II Disorder: mood swings that go from high to low, but the highs are less extreme and are called hypomanic states. The depressive episodes may be just as severe as those in Bipolar I disorder.

Cyclothymic Disorder: chronic mood swings (both highs and lows) that are not as long, severe, or frequent as those experienced in bipolar I or II disorder.

Know here more on → Bipolar Disorder: Signs, Types, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment Options, Tips

#bipolar disorder #bipolar disorder treatment #bipolar 1 #bipolar 2 #cyclothymic disorder #cyclothymia #mental health #livewelltalk

[athenaskiddo]

It's not me faking I don't want to be dead

#lesbian #sapphic #lgbt pride #girls who like girls #bpd #bpd problems #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #cyclothymic disorder #cyclothymia

[mindsetobservances]

I don’t tell you about my mental health just so you can forget about it and not understand when I act the ways I do. If I’ve opened up to you about my traumas, that’s a very special thing and you should consider it as such.

#mental health #depression #anxitey #bipolar #cyclothymic disorder #cyclothymia #sorry for being depressing #its depressing #kinda depressing #anxious #generalized anxiety disorder #anxiety disorder #cptsd problems #cptsdhealing #living with anxiety #living with depression #living with cptsd #psychological trauma #childhood trauma

[akirasam-216]

I want to escape somewhere where it’s safe and quiet

#tw depressing stuff #depressing life #mental illness #tw depersonalization #cyclothymic disorder #i hate it i hate it i hate it

[manicpixieidiot]

hi!!! my name is cherry :) this will sort of be a mental health blog. i recently suffered my 3rd psychotic episode and the peak of my struggle with OCD. i guess i just want to talk🍒.

i am diagnosed with schizophreniform(with recurring episodes, they think I might be schizophrenic idk),OCD, body dysmorphic disorder . I was also diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder, spatial processing disorder, and ADHD.

My pronouns are she/her. I love film and TV. My biggest passion is acting. I love literature. I write poems, plays, films, and short stories. I love animals especially reptiles.

Nice to meet you 🍒🍒🍒

#mental health #learning disorder #learning differences #learning disability #adhd #adhd struggles #ocd #living with ocd #cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder #psychosis #psychotic episode #psychotic disorders #actually psychotic #mental disability #auditory processing disorder #actually spd #apd #mentall illness #mentally disordered #body dysphoria #body dysmorphic disorder

[mentoillnesspolls]

#bipolar #poll #neurodiversity #bipolar 1 #bipolar 2 #mentoillnesspoll #bipolar i #bipolar ii #bipolar community #manic episode #cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder

[thesunstoneslayer]

I wonder if I told my new pcp the reason I’m working on getting my a1c down to a 7 is so I can self harm again without losing a leg, would they have me committed. God I want to shred my legs up so bad.

#depression #tw selfhate #tw self destruction #legs #cyclothymic disorder #generalized anxiety disorder

[dis-astre]

my doctor prescribed me a lithium treatment for my mood swings and my mom was like be careful with that lithium tend to be really addictive and i was like naaaaah it's fine it's just my yearly lithium treatment i take it for a month and then i'm back on track

i run out of it yesterday and now idk what to do i feel desperate and anxious i just realise my mom was right

#she's always right of course but still #it didn't do that last time #i could buy more but it also could worsen the situation #i don't want to end up addicted #but the mood swings are a real pain in the ass #for me and all my close ones #idk #mental health #cyclothymic disorder #cyclothymia #just me ranting

[so-loud-in-the-silence]

I don’t know what was worse today… when the office was loud and buzzy, or when it was deathly silent…

My mind is on overdrive right now and I’m really struggling to manage my cyclothymic episodes…

#cyclothymia #

#cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder #mental illness #silence #noise sensitivity