You don't know real power until you have a Deck of Many Things in your inventory
Guys, this is a joke
Variety Pack of Dnd Quotes from the past couple year's games
"I roll to yeet the gnome"
Me, hearing a big secret dropped by a one player to another during roleplay, knowing it will have catastrophic consequences for the party but my character isn't in the room to hear it:
Things I Include In My D&D Games That My Players Don't Know About
If they hold a wooden bowl and walk into a locked door, they'll phase through it like it's Skyrim
If they attempt to jump backwards up a set of stairs, with a high enough dex roll, they will launch up the stairs, through the roof, and into the upper atmosphere
There is an Anti-Tarrasque.
Trolls have 12 different blood colors, with only 2 existing in aquatic troll varieties.
If they enter a new area fast enough, they can catch the birds flying without moving anywhere.
Trees DON'T make sounds when they fall and no one's around, there's just no one around that can prove that
Lazer guns exist, they're just shy
If you get knocked prone on a sloped surface, there is a 1% chance of clipping into the terrain
There's a 1% chance of the textures in someone's face not loading correctly
Tried my hand at creating a race for my new character…
Personally I think I should write for dnd beyond
I pass one of my players a folded note. She reads it. Her eyebrows raise, and her peers heckle her, trying to take the paper from her. She insists it is nothing. The gnome is now cursing. My player curses back. The fighter calls her a traitor and declares an Insight check. I allow it. My player attempts a Deception check. I allow it. It is a dead tie. The table erupts in hoarse accusations. The note falls to the ground, forgotten. It says: “Read this; raise your eyebrows; say nothing to the others; and I will give you a +3 longsword.” I lean back behind my DM screen and watch the fireworks implode. This is my design.
Zodiac D&D make-a-character
I made this procrastinating on an essay, please enjoy. I’m a folk hero Tabaxi Druid myself
Sagittarius: Folk Hero
Me looking @ the Natural 1 I just rolled, knowing its about to have instant and irreversible consequences:
Bard: I killed him with an impression.
Rogue: Literally bullied him so hard he died.
Highfane unique lineage 2/3, Woodwose. Folks, if you liked big crab, I think I can interest you in big turnip
DMs be like “i know a spot” and then lead you directly into the consequences of your actions
Dnd update: my character learnt what taxes are shortly followed by tax evasion
the DM: and then the reigning champion emerges from a cloud of dust. the four of you stare up at...
the DM: ...her...
[Image ID: The first picture is of a cartoon cat, staring attentively at something off screen. The second picture is the same cat, except their pupils are blown wide to a ridiculous and adorable amount. End ID.]