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#d&d quotes
contextfreedungeon · a day ago
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HOO boi, I’ve got some for you:
“There’s gonna be snake guts within a six foot cube”
"How do you ride a fairy?" "You just do, man"
“Roll for Bilbo”
“Do you want to lick it off?”
I may be back later to give you more but please enjoy these no context crumbs
These are...beautiful
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dndclassesquotes · 4 months ago
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Paladin: Can you do something for me?
Rogue: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it.
Paladin: Can you do the dishes?
Rogue: *already leaving the room* No.
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polyampotato · a month ago
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Variety Pack of Dnd Quotes from the past couple year's games
"I roll to yeet the gnome"
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longlistoffandoms777 · 3 months ago
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I love d&d
conversation from the most recent session:
Cass: Are there pretty people around?
DM: Define pretty.
Cass:.. Ryan Bergara.
DM:…. There is one guy who looks like Ryan Bergara. Roll to see if he likes you.
Cass rolls a nat20
DM:… He follows you back to your room, Bryan Rergara has joined your party.
Later, we find an actual ghost.
DM, as Bryan: “Holy shit, I need to go tell my friend Mane Shadej about this!”
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shadesofmauve · 2 days ago
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"At what level does the ranger's pet become a wifi hotspot?"
(Adventuring in the wilderness is rough)
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aleph-sharp · 4 days ago
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"A customer service scholar, like a librarian."
- a thing I said to one of my players, who is a librarian, who proceeded to spend a minute processing, followed by "I don't like that. I don't like how right you are."
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kclose3 · a month ago
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I’m not saying there’s a guy that looks more targety than the rest of us, but…
Gaming Quotes from 5/4 :: When you point to the cleric who just cast two of his most powerful spells, it’s kind of like a reverse taunt.
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persephobeane · 7 months ago
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Rogue: I mean, I’m not in the mood to--well, I am, but I’m not in the mood to, like, drag the party down with me, so.
Cleric: Thank fucking god.
Paladin, relieved: Sweet Jesus. Sweet Torm. Fucking thank you.
DM: I’m not stopping you...
Cleric, desperate: DM, stop, we just got her to agree to not do it--please stop, please don’t goad her on--
Rogue, already aiming weapon: Well now that you say that...
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noodledragon · a month ago
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Tumblr media
it's time
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volucris-liga · 19 days ago
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Out of context D&D quotes time, for the first time in a while. I only have a couple from this session cause I haven’t been keeping track of them on my own and not much actually ends up in our quotes channel in discord, but I’m gonna try to keep track of them more going forward cause I know there were a lot of good ones we didn’t save anywhere lol. I’ve just gotten out of the habit of it.
- “I no longer have rivals, I have personal BBEGs.”
- “What the fuck?” “Was that in or out of character?” “Yes.”
- “I have cupcakes to deliver to a god and I don’t know where he lives.”
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contextfreedungeon · 11 days ago
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Cleric: I can do weddings and funerals.
Rogue: At the same time?
Cleric: Possibly.
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dndclassesquotes · 4 months ago
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Fighter: I live for two reasons.
Monk: And those would be?
Fighter: I was born and I haven't died yet.
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sweettist · 11 months ago
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Not sure if I’ll get any responses but…
D&D 3.5 people!
I’ve released a genie without the other players’ knowledge, due to me going “hey DM, before we leave game, can I pause in the hallway and identify these three magical objects?” and everyone else going, “good luck, Sweet! I’m out!” and leaving.
So. She’s a large creature but can chose to become any other large creature to disguise herself.
My character has a known habit of just finding a random creature and going “Oh! New pet!” and adopting it. (So far I have a giant snake, a veggie pygmie, a goblin, a mimic, and a fairy dragon.)
What 3.5 LARGE creature would be fun for this genie to transform into and be naturally integrated as my newest pet?
1. Can’t be a dragon, or any “intelligent” being.
2. Can’t be anything that the party would attempt to kill on sight.
3. Something that flies would be a bonus, but is not required.
Please please please post ideas!
(PS: I’m not an asshole. Our party has been together for 4.5 years, now. We love it when secret things like this happen, and when they are finally revealed.)
Posted: Tuesday, July 20th, 1:10pm EST.
I need to DM him my answer by Friday, July 23, 10pm EST.
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theboarboyz · 9 months ago
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“Say goodbye to your delicate organs!”
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beginner-bard · 10 months ago
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What's the deepest thing you've heard come out of a D&D game? (One you've played or watched)
While looking for quotes based on a blog prompt, I thought about this one from Campaign 2 of Critical Role:
"You were not born with venom in your veins." – Caleb Widogast, the Fancy and the Fooled (ep. 97)
If you're interested in a bit of background and analysis of this quote, check out my blog post linked below!
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trollsinadungeon · 3 months ago
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"He's a hobgoblin."
"He's a hot goblin."
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kclose3 · 5 months ago
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If I really wanted to screw with somebody, that’s what I’d do. Write something [like that] in a perfectly normal hallway. I like to screw with people.
Gaming Quotes from 1/26 :: The completely understandable response to seeing a message carved on a wall that read “This hallway is safe... honest.”
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midwesternnerd · 4 months ago
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“You know, usually it’s the PLAYERS that derail the campaign.”
- one of my players
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random-jot · 4 months ago
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“We share one braincell between us and it is currently in the Bag Of Holding”
- me summing up the dynamic between my Rogue PC & our party’s Bard
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shadesofmauve · 4 months ago
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"Ah, Dungeons and Dragons! Where you can hear people happily discuss things that really should be war crimes."
Housemate Xed, GM, doesn't think much of my idea to get around 'do we or do we not rescue prisoners washed overboard from the enemy ship' question by having Druid Nettle turn into a shark and eat them.
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