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giftofwonder · 2 years

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Psychosis - Dabi/Hawks/Bakugou x f!Reader

A/N: This story contains adult themes and mature/explicit content. Minors please do not interact. This story will most likely have a lot of parts and be pretty long so if you’d like to be added to the tag list just let me know! Also feedback is welcome and always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Part Two

You sat in Aizawa’s spacious office waiting for him to enter. In contrast to his seemingly unwelcome personality, the room had a very homey quality to it. The walls were a pale mint green and the floors a dark hardwood. There was a gray sofa that sat below the large window overlooking the courtyard.

It seemed neat and tidy, organized shelves along the wall, a few photos hung around them. There was a small folding cot tucked in the corner, as well as a small basket with plushies and stuffed animals. It was simple, but it made you feel completely at ease. You thought the space was catered towards the patients and hoped that in the future, someone would feel the same way about your own office.

Dr. Aizawa came in, followed by the director and Mirio, the counselor from the day prior. They shuffled in and each took a seat around the room, Aizawa at his desk and the other two on the couch off to the side.

“Good morning, how are you feeling?” Aizawa said, glancing at you as he pulled out a folder, opening it and grabbing a small stack of papers.

“I’m feeling pretty good, how are you?” You responded casually. Aizawa gave you a pointed look, his question had been only for pleasantries, not making conversation. He sighed, answering briskly as he set the first paper in front of you.

“I am fine. Here is your roster of patients and rotations, this is just a brief schedule for your first week. We discussed the events yesterday regarding Dabi, he has requested for you to be his primary psychiatrist. Since you are just beginning your residency, he will be your main focus for now.” Aizawa explained.

You looked over the sheet, nodding as he spoke. As you looked back up at him, he continued.

“We all agreed that because you will be working with a Level Three patient, you will also be shadowing me and helping out on this floor. All of your patients will be on this level unless directed otherwise. Any questions or comments so far?” He paused.

“No.” You said, and he nodded.

“Dabi has said he will not speak with anyone but you, so we will send you in alone. We recommend you hold his sessions in the community room for now, that way there are eyes on you. However, in the event you must be in his room, you will need this.” He held the box out to you, and you accepted it quickly.

“That is your pager. We have already set up all needed contacts in it, and you will see there is a panic button on the front. Press it four times rapidly and it will send out an SOS to all of us so that we can respond. His door is to always be kept locked, if he tries anything while you are with him, please do not hesitate to use the device.” He explained while you clipped it to the waistband of your pants.

“Next, here are your forms for reporting. Dr. Gum made me aware that he has covered our online system with you. Starting out, you will need to file your reports manually. We are currently working to get your office set up and in order. Once it is, you may hold your sessions there as well and will have access to the network. While shadowing, you will be working closely with our intern, Bakugou, to care for the patients on this level and will manage their schedules, but along with paperwork, you will be reporting directly to me. A few times per week, you will sit in on one on one sessions and group counseling that I lead.” He said.

Director Enji stood, walking up to your side and held out a small paper.

“Here is a list of things to go over with Ochako, the receptionist. She will be placing orders for everything you’ll need for your space. Please get with her in the next day or two to select everything. If not, we will still provide them for you, they will just be without your personal preference. This is just a courtesy so that you can have your office personalized to your liking.” He said, tone void of any emotion. You took the paper, glancing it over before setting it atop your stack.

“Thank you, I’ll make sure to stop by and talk to her.” You said.

“Alright, I’ll be off then. Just remember what I told you before.” Enji said, his eyes flashing darkly before he quickly exited the room.

Mirio was the next to approach, his hands full of folders.

“If you’d like to come with me, we can go set up in the community room and go over all of the patient files for this floor. I figure it’s best to know what you’re in for. Some of them can be a pain and if you get a call to respond, it’s better to have an idea of what you’re walking into.” His smile was warm and comforting, easing your nerves.

You glanced back to Aizawa who simply nodded, wishing you luck and telling you he would get with you later.

You followed Mirio out and onto the couch in the common area. He dropped the files on the small table, spreading them out before you.

“Go ahead and just read through these. I have Dabi’s here and we’ll go over his together when you’re done.” He beamed.

You nodded, picking up the first folder.

Patient: Tomura Shigaraki

Age: 22

Primary Diagnosis: Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

History: Patient began showing symptoms in early adolescence. Has a history of violence and criminal behavior. Patient is highly reactive and has a disregard for authority and wellbeing of others. Patient was a former cult leader.

Notes: Patients is not to be left with other patients under any circumstances. Patient is in permanent isolation. Patient is often kept sedated and suffers from frequent delusions.

———————————————

Patient: Himiko Toga

Age: 18

Primary Diagnosis: Residual Schizophrenia

History: Patient is prone to paranoia and delusions. Is highly reactive and dangerous. Suffers from frequent hallucinations. Patient was convicted on 13 counts of murder - 2 victims were her parents. Patient is to be monitored and medicated and requires at minimum: 2 Personal at all times.

Notes: Patient is allowed interaction with Jin (Twice) but must have restraints. Patient has a habit of biting and a fascination with blood.

———————————————

Patient: Jin Bubaigawara aka “Twice”

Age: 31

Diagnosis: Severe Dissociative Identity

Disorder

History: Symptoms developed during adolescence, but patient was unable to receive treatment. Condition worsened over time. Suffered from a head injury which was the main trigger for the decline with his disorder. Patient cannot remember incident or crimes committed (multiple counts of homicide). Patient believes he is two individuals but is unsure which is the real him.

Notes: Patient is generally very friendly. Seems highly coherent majority of the time. Can be highly reactive but currently has no restrictions.

You placed the folders back onto the table before turning to look at Mirio.

“It’s really sad, I think. I know a lot of people see them just for their crimes, but they’re all suffering, ya know?” He said with a solemn smile before handing you Dabi’s folder.

“I know. I hope that one day they’re able to improve and will do everything in my power to aid them as best as I can.” You told him, the words a promise you held deeply in your heart.

“Me too.” He said, placing his hand on your shoulder.

You opened the file and inspected the contents.

Name: “Dabi” (alias)

Age: 26

Diagnosis: N/A

Suspected: Antisocial Personality Disorder/ Borderline Personality Didorder/ Dissociative Identity Disorder (Dissociative Fugue)

History: Patient has not yet been fully diagnosed and has resisted aid from psychiatric help. History of violence and self-harm. Patient was convicted on multiple counts of Felony Arson and Possession (pot, cocaine) and 6 counts of Homicide.

Notes: Patients full name is unlisted. Patient will only respond to his alias, Dabi. Per directors orders, his legal name has temporarily been struck from the record. Patient is uncooperative.

You frowned as you finished reading his chart, saddened by the information listed before you. You were glad he was alive, but over the years of wondering what had happened to him, you had always hoped he was able to recover and find peace. It was apparent now that that was not the case.

“When I meet with him later, is there anything I should know before going in?” You asked Mirio.

“We don’t really have anything else on him beyond what’s listed on the chart. The guy hasn’t been an open book, so I’d say just start fresh with him like it was his first day. He really hasn’t said much of anything to us outside of insults, so based on his response to you yesterday, I think you have the best shot of getting anything out of him. Id start small though. I think if you push too hard or pry, he’ll probably shut you out.” Mirio explained.

A soft knock came from the wall at the entrance of the room. You both looked up to see a man holding a tray of coffee and looking almost nauseous.

“Sorry I’m late.” His voice was meek, nothing more than a soft whisper.

“Nonsense, come on in and meet our new psychiatrist!” Mirio beamed. The man cautiously stepped forward, extending a cup out to you. You took it, thanking him.

“This is my aide, Tamaki Amajiki. He usually sits in during my counseling sessions and helps with progress reports. Since my workload is expanding, he’ll be taking on some sessions on his own, so you two may be working together quite a bit going forward.” Mirio said excitedly.

“I look forward to working together, Amajiki!” You smiled at him. He clenched his teeth together before retreating to the far side of the room, arms trembling as he faced the wall. You blinked in confusion before Mirio leaned toward you.

“He’s just kind of shy. He gets over it once he gets comfortable with you.” He whispered.

“How long does that usually take?” You asked back in a hushed voice. Mirio smiled in response, giving a shrug and a laugh. You guessed you would just have to wait and see on that one then.

“Now that you’re caffeinated, how about you go and get with the intern and help him for a few. Have you met him yet?” Mirio asked.

“Bakugou, right? I haven’t met him, but Midoriya pointed him out to me during our tour.” You responded.

“Great! Yeah, go ahead and just see what he needs. I’m going to go do a few rounds on the other levels with Amajiki, and we’ll head back up before your first session with Dabi. Fair warning though, Bakugou can be…intense. We always get complaints about him being rude, but I think he probably just sounds like that. He’s a really hard worker though. I’m sure he’ll take good care of you.” Mirio smiled, giving a small wave as him and Amajiki left the room.

You gulped, grabbing your coffee and heading out to the main desk. You saw Bakugou there, glaring at the desk before him. You stood in front of the counter, seeing what was receiving his aggression, only to find medicine bottles on the table.

“The fuck do you want?” He spat, shifting red eyes up to you.

“Oh-uh-I’m sorry, am I interrupting?” You asked worriedly.

“Spit it out, what do you want?” He snapped.

“Mirio told me to come and work with you for rounds and help out with anything you need.” You said, biting your lip awkwardly.

Mirio had said people often complained about him. You could see it.

“Hurry up and get started then. Quit standing there gawking at me.” He sneered.

“What do you want me to do?” You forced a smile, hoping to be given a task that will put some distance between yourself and him.

“Tch, useless,” He mumbled, pulling out a chart and tossing it on the desk in front of you, “read through that, take out the doses, put the meds in the vials with the right names. Then come get me.” He said before walking back into the supply area.

You walked around the desk, taking a seat in the chair as you quickly filled the small glasses with the patients medications. As you were counting out the last of them, the chair was pulled out from under you and you hit the tile below, the pills scattering across the floor.

Bakugou’s face contorted with rage as he looked down at you.

“First of all, stay out of my seat. You want a chair, go get your own. Second, pick up the meds. It’s a hazard to leave them lying around, and now we have to get a new prescription filled because your dumbass dropped them all over the floor.” He growled.

You quickly pushed yourself up to stand, dusting yourself off as you glared him down in return.

“It’s a company provided chair, not yours. Don’t be petty. And I didn’t drop them, you knocked me down, so stop being childish. You grab the pills off the floor and I’ll go get the script refilled.” You said, arms crossed. You were almost positive he blew a blood vessel.

“How about you pick up the pills and I’ll refill it, you shitty klutz?” He yelled, grabbing the bottle from your hands and shoving you out of the way.

“You’re the boss.” You said sarcastically, rolling your eyes as you kneeled to pick up the fallen medications.

“Damn right.” He called over his shoulder as he walked off, heading toward the pharmacy.

You took a deep breath, almost regretting to agree on working on Level Three. However, you were almost sure the patients wouldn’t be half as bad as the intern.

_____________________

When Bakugou returned, he threw the bottle at you before marching off somewhere around the corner. You bit your tongue, fighting off your impulse to make a comment that would surely send him into another fit of rage.

When the tray was ready, you propped it onto the metal rolling cart and reclined against the desk to drink your coffee.

Bakugou didn’t immediately come back, and after a few moments of waiting, you figured you should go after him to let him know you were ready. As soon as you rounded the corner, his hard body collided with yours. Your coffee was smashed in the process, splattering all over his black scrubs and your coat and outfit. You quickly reached for one of the towels on the bottom of the cart, holding it in his direction.

“Im sorry-“

“Watch where you’re going! You blind or just an idiot?” He shouted. You flinched at the harshness of his voice.

“I really am sorry, I just wanted to let you know I was done. I didn’t mean-“

“Whatever, it’s fine. Just..ugh, hold on.” He interrupted, shoving the towel into your hands and walking back into the supply room.

Not a second later, a shirt pelted you in the face.

“Change into that. You look like a mess. Very unprofessional.” He sneered.

“Gee, thanks.” You huffed, stepping into the supply room quickly to change. You found a pack of baby wipes in there and used one to remove the excess coffee that had soaked through your shirt and onto your skin. Then you wiped off your coat and pants as best as you could before pulling on the new shirt and leaving the room to face the hostile intern once more.

“Come on, we’ve gotta get this to the patients. We’re running late now.” He stated, giving you a look that let you know he was most certainly blaming you. You held your tongue once again, choosing instead to follow as he led you to the first room.

“Don’t say anything. Just watch.” Bakugou said, unlocking the door with the name plate “Shigaraki”.

Inside of the room was bleak. Everything was safety-proofed and white. You saw Shigaraki sitting in a chair facing the door. His pale blue hair was shaggy and knotted, his skin was chapped and cracked, so dry that it bled in some areas. His eyes were void as you two entered, but they were locked onto your face.

“Come on, Skin Flakes. You know what time it is.” Bakugou sneered, thrusting out the pills along with a glass of water.

Shigaraki sat unmoving, eyes focused on you with his lifeless expression. You wondered for a moment if he truly wasn’t a corpse, the way he seemed so vacant and empty. When your eyes drifted back up to meet his, his face broke out into a large and unsettling smile. He breathed deeply as his tongue slipped out, licking along his cracked bottom lip. You had to fight the urge to step back.

“Oi! Quit being fucking creepy and take your meds. I’ve got shit to do.” Bakugou barked, knocking the cup of water against the patients head.

Shigaraki’s eyes flashed to him dangerously, before slowly shifting back to you as he accepted the bottle and glass. He took the pills, chasing them with the water, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Come on, let’s go before Crusty gets riled up. I don’t want to have to sedate him again.” Bakugou said while shoving you out of the room.

“Nice to meet you!” You called over your shoulder, and then as soon as you both were out, the door was quickly locked behind you.

“Don’t go talking all nice to him. He’s garbage, I don’t know how he didn’t get the death penalty.” He snarled, kicking the door while he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“It’s my job to be nice, it wouldn’t do me any good to be an asshole. You should try being a little nicer to him, too.” You scolded.

“Do you even know why he’s in here? Do you have any idea what he did?” Bakugou asked, getting in your face.

“He was a cult leader.” You blurted, recalling what you had read in his file.

“Uh-huh, and?” He asked.

“And?” You questioned.

“You’re a real piece of work.” He shook his head.

“AND he got his followers to go out committing rape and murder. AND he got them to do a mass suicide when he was about to get caught. AND they found the remains of someone he had skinned alive. The guys a freak, and you want me to be nice?” He asked incredulously.

“He’s still a patient. This is a criminal asylum and the unit with the most severe cases. Regardless of what he did, I’m supposed to help him.” You frowned.

“Look, I’m saying this for your own good. You aren’t helping that guy. There is no hope for him, ya get it? He’s not human anymore. And I can promise you, it’s going to be much better having someone like him hate you than having them like you. The last girl they brought in here was real nice, ya know, until he grabbed her hair so hard it ripped part of her scalp open. So, maybe listen to the guy who has to deal with the fucking psychos all day long. Just a suggestion.” He shrugged, walking forward to the next room.

You thought back to Shigaraki’s face and felt a chill go down your spine. You didn’t think you could be cold to him like Bakugou, but you did agree, you didn’t want him having any fixation on you.

Next up was Himiko Toga. She was sprawled across her bed, papers strewn about from her coloring.

As soon as her yellow eyes landed on you, she was out of bed before you. Your first thought was that she looked young, much too young to be locked up.

“Hi, I’m Toga! Himiko Toga!” She giggled, pressing her hands flat against her cheeks.

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you. I like your pictures, they’re very good.” You said sincerely, throwing her a soft smile. A blush crossed her features as she pressed herself against you.

“You really think so? You can have one, any one you want!” She beamed.

“No.” Bakugou stated firmly, grabbing Toga by the arm and shoving her back onto the bed. He held out the pills and water while glaring silently.

“Always so mean! She said she likes-“

“No. Shut up and take this.” He interjected, cutting off her whining. She pouted, taking what he handed her with ease, before crossing her arms and shooting him an angry look. He rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrist and pulling you out behind him. You heard her rushed “Bye bye!” As the door slammed closed.

“Do you not know how to keep your fucking mouth shut? What was the first thing I said, huh? Don’t say anything, just watch. That instruction too hard for ya?” He mocked, his frustration evident.

“Well, I’m going to have to talk to them. I’ll be working with some of them one-on-one.” You reasoned.

“Whatever. Just do whatever you want then.” He growled, pushing open the next door before you could see the name on it.

The room was barren, it didn’t even look occupied at first. Bakugou shot around, his eyes narrowing behind you. You turned slowly to see Dabi leaning on the wall, eyes raking over you.

“Hey.” He greeted.

“Hey, how are you?” You asked.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Bakugou sighed as soon as you spoke. Dabi glanced at the man behind you before his eyes wandered back, catching your small grin at Bakugou’s outburst.

“I’m here. How long until our session?” He asked. You glanced at your watch to check, knowing it was on your schedule for the end of the day.

“Just a couple of hours. Do you need me now?” You asked. You saw the mans lip twitch before he shook his head.

“No, I can wait.” He assured you.

“Here.” Bakugou shoved the bottle toward Dabi, who was quick to smack his hand away, the pills bouncing across the floor.

“You people are really trying to piss me off today.” Bakugou grunted, trying to keep his composure.

“Like you need any help with that.” Dabi retorted, his eyes glinting darkly as he spoke.

“Pick em up and let’s go.” Bakugou said, giving your shoulder a push and nodding toward the capsules on the floor. You took a step to go get them, but Dabi gently placed his hand on your arm, stopping you, before going forward and collecting them. He grabbed your hand from your side, holding it up and unraveling your fingers to place the pills in your palm. His thumbs stroked against you as he curled your first around them, a sly smile painting his face.

You could feel the heat in your cheeks as you thanked him, unable to ignore how warm his skin was.

“Gross. Come on, leave Casanova behind, we gotta go before you start swooning. Don’t worry, I’ll bring your dose back around later.” Bakugou told Dabi before he hauled you from the room.

“The fuck was all of that?” He interrogated once you were back in the hall.

“What was all of what?” You sighed, feeling drained.

Bakugou lifted your hand, toying with it in an exaggerated way, mimicking Dabi’s touch.

You quickly pulled your hand back.

“He picked them up and handed them to me, I feel like you’re making this bigger than it was.” You said, tone exasperated.

“Am I? That guy has been here for months, usually mute unless he has something shitty to say. You walk in and all of a sudden he’s doing you favors. And you’re just letting him get all handsy with you, on top of it.” He said, watching you with suspicion.

“Honestly, I don’t think it was anything that big. He knows me, I treated him before, so I think he’s just more comfortable around me.”

You explained, and Bakugou thought over your words before sighing.

“Yep. I’m sure that’s it.” He scoffed, shrugging as he walked off quickly back to the main desk. You followed silently, hoping he would calm down for a few. You felt like you needed a breather before you continued your rounds.

__________________

You sat at the front desk in a chair pulled from the common room, hoping to avoid a repeat of the incident from earlier. You filed off paperwork, tidying up, as Bakugou made a supply run downstairs.

Right when you finished, the elevator dinged and he walked over pushing the stocked cart into the room behind you. A second later he walked out, a fitted jacket on, and stopped beside you.

“Come on. Food time.” He said, kicking the leg of your chair.

“Should we both go? What if something happens?” You asked.

“It’s fine. Beady eyes and scaredy cat are back up here to cover.” He said indifferently, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Who?” You asked, standing up and putting on your coat that you had draped on the chair behind you. Bakugou furrowed his brow in thought.

“The ones who sent you here.” He said, starting to walk toward the elevator.

“Oh! Those are your nicknames for them.” You said in realization, more to yourself than him.

“I guess. I just don’t know their names.” He shrugged.

“Do you remember anyone’s name here?” You asked genuinely curious. He gave you a blank look as you caught up to him. As you walked, he matched your pace, keeping his steps in line with yours.

“No.” He said. You laughed in response.

“Well, maybe I’ll be your first then!” You grinned, lightly elbowing him. He rolled his eyes before letting out a breathy laugh.

“Maybe.”

_____________________

“Isn’t the cafeteria this way?” You asked, pointing down the hall.

“Yeah, but we’re not going there.” He said, glancing at you over his shoulder as he paused, waiting for you to follow. You quickly caught up to him, letting him lead you outside of the building. He headed into the parking lot and over to what you assumed was his car.

You both climbed in, and he quickly pulled out of the space, heading onto the main road.

“So, where are we going.” You asked.

“To get food. Figured I’d drive since it’d be cutting it too close if we walked. Traffic isn’t so bad over here since we’re more out of the city.” He said distractedly while fiddling with the radio.

“Oh, yeah that makes sense. Do you usually go to lunch alone?” You asked. He shrugged in response, not offering anything more. You enjoyed the silence as he drove, the music only a dull hum in the background with its volume so low.

He pulled in at the coffee shop, cutting the engine and getting out of the car before you could speak. You rushed out, following behind him as he entered the cafe.

“Get whatever you want. It’s on me today.” He said dismissively, staring up at the menu. You looked at him in disbelief, but stepped forward to order without argument. If this meant the two of you would start to get along, you weren’t going to do anything to risk ruining that.

Bakugou followed behind, placing his order for a coffee and a water, before heading to the other end of the counter to wait.

“You’re not getting any food?” You asked.

“Nah, not hungry.” He said, glancing at you before looking around.

Your name was called and they set your sandwich on a tray, along with Bakugou’s drinks. You said a quick thank you before grabbing the tray and heading towards one of the tables bordering the room.

You slid into the seat, happily picking up your sandwich. Bakugou sat down across from you, opening his water and downing half of it.

“Here.” He said, sliding the coffee across the table to you.

“Oh, that’s okay. I don’t want to take your drink.” You said.

“Tch, I got it for you, dumbass.” He rolled his eyes. You blinked at him before slowly accepting the drink. You looked at the label and saw it was the same as the one that had been spilled earlier. You glanced back up at his stoic face and smiled warmly.

“You are kind of nice, huh?”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” He growled, leaning forward. You laughed, taking a sip of the coffee.

“It’s okay, your secret is safe with me.” You winked. You saw the pink dusting across his cheeks as he sat back, relaxing in his seat, opting to ignore your comment.

You talked, unsure if he was listening, for the remainder of your lunch, before heading back to work. When you got back, Mirio was waiting for you at the counter with a big smile on his face.

“Hey! Looks like you tamed the beast already, huh?” He laughed.

“This fucking guy…” Bakugou hissed quietly, and you pinched his arm before grinning back.

“Looks like it!”

You could feel Bakugou’s rage, positive he was glowering at you from behind, but you ignored him.

“So, what’s the plan?” You asked. Mirio took a look at his watch and hummed as he thought.

“Well, you’ve got about 15 minutes before you have your first session with Dabi. You have anything you want to go over first or do you feel pretty good about it?” He asked.

“I think I’ll be okay. I saw him when we did rounds earlier and it didn’t seem like he’d have an issue. He actually seemed pretty eager to talk.” You noted.

“That’s good! Baby steps, ya know. Well, I’m going to go talk with Aizawa. Just grab me when you’re done!” He smiled, giving a wave as he walked off.

“So you’re going to go hang out with Romeo again, huh?” Bakugou said, his tone too bitter to be a joke.

“I’m not hanging out with him, I’m his psychiatrist.” You deadpanned.

“Just be careful. I know he seemed all sweet on you in the room, but we don’t have a lot on that guy. You don’t know how he’ll behave when you’re alone.” He warned.

“Actually, I was going to see if you wouldn’t mind bringing him to the common area for me.” You smiled, poking his shoulder.

He feigned insult, pulling off his jacket and walking into the supply area. You followed him, propping yourself on the door frame as you watched him.

“I guess I can do that. Just go ahead and head there now. Patchwork doesn’t listen very well so it’s probably going to be a minute.” He groaned.

“You got it, oh, and thanks again.” You said with a smile, wiggling the coffee cup.

“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t throw this one all over me.” He sneered, brushing past you to walk off toward Dabi’s room.

You grabbed your paperwork and headed into the common area, taking a seat on the sofa. Not a minute later, Dabi came strolling into the room and immediately took a seat beside you. Bakugou marched after him, annoyance overwhelming his features.

“That’s such bullshit. That guy has never complied with a single thing I’ve said, but wouldn’t you know it, today’s he’s all ready and waiting at the door.” Bakugou spat.

“Glad I could make your day a little easier then!” You beamed and he rolled his eyes before stalking off. You promptly turned your attention to Dabi.

“Hey.” You said.

“Hey.” He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Was there something earlier you wanted to talk about?” You asked, remembering when you did rounds.

“Not really. Just wanted to see you again.” He shrugged. You nodded, settling back into the couch.

“So, fill me in since I last saw you.” You said, trying to nudge into a conversation.

“Not much to know. Got some charges and got locked in here. Guess I must have lost my mind somewhere along the way.” His laugh sounded empty, no emotion behind it.

“Do you think you’ve lost your mind?” You asked, resting your chin on your hand.

He eyed you wearily before sighing, letting his back drop onto the cushion behind him and kicking his feet up to rest on the table.

“No. I feel like I’m seeing everything clearly for the first time. Back then, when we met, I was someone else. Someone weak and afraid. Lost. I don’t feel like that anymore. I know I’ve done some messed up things, hurt people who didn’t deserve it, but when I snapped, it was like the part of me I hated the most disappeared.” He explained, his head rolling to the side to look at you.

You nodded, listening as he spoke and hanging on every word.

“What part of you was that?” You asked, pulling your legs up onto the cushion and getting comfortable.

“The part that could feel.”

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droplet-dread-cat · 2 years

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Death, Fire & Ice!Dabi AU

i had this idea for a fic (and i even wrote a bit for it):

what if dabi doesn’t only have a fire quirk? now, you’re probably like: “boring. we all know the phoenix theory blabla.” but NO.

i propose... death, fire AND ice quirk dabi! all three!

how? let me tell you:

- so, sekoto park. let’s say touya doesn’t barely cling onto life. let’s say touya dies to his own flames. he went to sekoto white-haired with a fire quirk and an ice-resistant body

- !! he dies to his own quirk!! (that’s important, so remember it)

- touya wakes up in the river; ash clinging to his skin wherever the river isn’t touching him and he feels... changed. let’s say he feels oddly distant, as if his inner fire has gone out

- touya went to sekoto white-haired with a fire quirk and an ice-resistant body... but touya returned from sekoto red-haired with an ice quirk and a fire-resistant body. you see where this is going?

- so basically: every time touya damages himself with his own quirk enough to die from it, he is reborn with either frost or ash clinging to him and the opposite quirk of what he died from; it’s far from a perfect immortality quirk as he only resurrects whenever he kills himself with his quirk (if he were to die from hanging himself, he’d stay dead)

- and let’s imagine touya coming home with a scarless body. if he keeps the switching mechanism of his quirk hidden, he’s basically a completely split version of shouto (only with seemingly temporary harm to his body)... and as morbid as it’s going to sound, endeavor doesn’t have any weighty argument against touya becoming a hero anymore now that touya’s able to solve the permanent harm done to his body by his own quirk by quickly dying

- imagine touya becomes a hero. not a hero like all might, who saves others with a friendly smile and a slogan like “i am here!”... not a hero like endeavor either, who stoically fights villains with his flashy fire. no, touya can barely show himself in the spotlight because he’s permanently sporting necrosis or extreme burns after fights. he‘s lost count of how many times he died already. death has become a daily thing for him. he lives alone in a small apartment, where neither fuyumi’s worried eyes nor shouto’s adoring gaze will ever meet him. his apartment is sparse - a futon randomly against some wall, a pantry full of instant ramen and an old TV sitting on a coffee-stained table - but everyone who’s ever been in his bathroom says it’s weirdly high tech. “why would you need a temperature-proof bathroom? and what’s that smell?!” touya can’t answer: “oh, i need a room to kill myself in and the smell is from my burnt corpse.” so he just huffs and shrugs.

- imagine touya as a hero. how he works. how he thinks. he’s constantly calculating whether he’s going to have to return home for a quick “change” or if he’s able to continue working. he never gets himself any support items. it’s not that he doesn’t have the money - it’s that he’s become so used to killing himself and to the immense pain that he’s become numb to it all. he’s a hero but at what cost?

- imagine touya’s stance on self-destructive quirks. imagine he watches the first year sports festival and sees midoriya destroying himself for his brother’s sake. (because that’s the thing: shouto’s story turns out the same because dabi’s still a brother who isn’t there - it’s just the reason for his disappearance that’s different) touya immediately sends out an internship offer. he even writes a little comment on why he chose midoriya. “i know what it’s like to break yourself over and over. let’s figure out how to solve your problem together.” because dabi might inevitably have to kill himself at the end of the day but he still learnt how to minimize the need for it.

- imagine deku accepts dabi’s offer. gran torino only sent it in after yagi’s insistence, which isn’t needed here. despite avoiding the spotlight, dabi’s sheer firepower alone has put him in the top 20 and deku’s not going to say no to getting to know one of the most mysterious heroes out there. so, he accepts.

- imagine dabi mentoring deku and immeditately proposing to attempt spreading his power and keeping it running on low settings. it’s something dabi has to do when he’s just starting out in the morning or when he’s using his quirk for small stuff. it’s how he keeps his arms from turning to ash or falling completely numb. it’s a concept he uses a lot. imagine shouto and his father saving iida while deku slowly figures out the mystery behind his new mentor... imagine deku coming to the horrible realization why dabi’s bathroom is like that. “how do you live like this?” he’ll blurt out at one point and dabi will huff, shrug like always and say: “you get used to it.” and that’ll be the most heart-breaking thing deku’s heard up until that point because he knows how highly shouto thinks of his brother (how badly he wants to be like dabi, who saves people not because of fame and glory but because it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted to do) and how little shouto knows about how much dabi suffers daily just to keep doing his job.

- imagine touya, this sorta nihilistic anti-hero with one of the ugliest quirks imaginable, becoming the hero of the forgotten. imagine him finding magne at her lowest, spinner as he’s about to descend into fanaticism, toga as she’s about to go crazy with craving for blood and shigaraki, who’s kept angry and hateful by someone who should’ve been like a father for him. imagine him just being there. he’s a hero - not a pretty one like hawks, who, despite his dark affiliation with the HPSC, could never understand a villainous mind like he does. he’s a hero, who saves people because he grew up wanting nothing more and chasing his dream quite literally to death and beyond. dabi’s still an asshole, still scarred most of the time, pierces himself whenever he has the energy to do it (because they’re just going to fall out and the holes will be closed when he comes back) and lives between emptiness and mania... but he’s a hero and he knows how to help.

- imagine touya keeping magne from going for the killing blow and getting her help with her transition. imagine him going into heated debates about stain’s ideology with spinner and stealthily letting him warm up to dabi until he casually proposes for spinner to become his sidekick (because all a mutant-type quirk user who’s been heavily discriminated against wants is a place to belong and a place to fight against the inequality, right?). imagine touya calling toga a little psycho and denying vehemently that he likes her company but still going absolutely out of his way to ensure she has clean blood to drink and hobbies (throwing darts, shooting bows, collecting knives) to satisfy her cravings. imagine touya, of all people, coaxing shigaraki out of all for one’s grasp by getting him a gaming buddy (spinner) and showing him places where a decay quirk can run rampant (dagobah beach is far from the only accumulation of trash where it shouldn’t be). imagine him helping others: jin, mr compress, mustard, gentle criminal, la brava... all those “villains” who easily could become so much more than that. imagine touya just listening to these people and offering them a life away from paranoia and bloodshed. all because touya became a hero and heroes help people.

- imagine shouto finding out about his brother’s actual quirk by asking: “why do you use his fire?” to which dabi accidentally blurts out: “killing myself twice in a row would use up an unnecessary amount of energy.” and shouto’s rendered speechless because at that moment he realizes how privileged he is and how much of an ass it made him look like when he rejected using his own fire, which has virtually no drawbacks.

(maybe the reason why dabi distanced himself was that he couldn’t bear to look at what could’ve been him had his body not given him the literally worst quirk in existence.)

#dabi #dabi imagine #dabi au #mha au idea #mha au #my hero academia #my hero academia au #bnha au #mha todoroki #todoroki touya #tw death #tw mortality #tw self destruction #tw self h4rm #death quirk #league of villains au #league of villains

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