#daddy putin wanted in on the fun

[realhankmccoy]

Q: What’s another thing the Trump 5 haven’t yet learned?

A: That the red pill isn't fun. That it’s not all some fun redneck game of obtaining money and power when you can, acting like you think you can present as good where you will, acting like you can present as bad and gigglepuss wild redneck killer when you can, enjoying war against your family member because a Daddy figure has cucked ya into saying traditional Eminem hateful status quo shit about a FAGGOT – siding with the oppression that's always been going on and never stopped, and marrying up as you try to tell people YOU'RE THE PROBLEM I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG I WILL LIE CHEAT AND FRAME YOU AS SOMEBODY WHO TRIED TO RUN ME OVER WITH A CAR (my dad did this, kids, can you picture it? i'm the kind of guy who runs people over with cars in his narrative0 the kind of person who is AKIN TO HITLER (my dad tried that narrative, very Putinesque of him)

but the fact remains

much like Alanis Morrisette isn't actually a rapist or a killer nor does she even identify as a killer That the desire to harm others and oppress others and wipe identity politics off the face of the map -- it all started with them. And I stay on my own territory... they try to get around my blocks on them because they're bitter evil people who cannot stand the fact that I will never submit to the eradication of faggotry and identity politics and people who want a peaceful world

not a world of scratching Nazi and redneck backs for kicks not a world of CRY CRY WHINE THE EVIL FEMALE IS THE REAL KILLER THE REAL INVADER THE REAL RAPIST SHE'S A RAPIST

this is why they're all not able to speak up against Trump and Putin and Musk. because they don't truly oppose bad things and oppressive systems.

they oppose like, faggots and stuff and use oppressive systems to lean into to try to harm me -- one individual faggot -- even further.

only truly evil people would act that way.

they will never make a conservative out of me. they will never make a redneck out of me. they will never make a Toy Story out of me. They will never grow a new one of me out of their grandson. they will never make somebody who cries and whines about feminism out of me. they will never make somebody who cries and whines out of black people wearing $700 shoes out of me. they will never make somebody who respects A SPORTSMAN out of me. they will never convince me that the best David Bowie album was the whitest and most racist and most Hitler Playbaby album. they will never convince me that the best band is Journey. They will never convince me that Luke Bryan concerts are better than every concert I've ever been to. They will never convince me that Eminem is better than Mary J. Blige.

I will never place Rednecks and Nazis before people. I will never place big ass rednecks, big ass golf carts, big ass muscle fetishes, big ass alpha dogs, big ass Alpha reblogs, big ass Puritanism, big ass copycatism, big ass one-upsmanship of faggots, big ass acreage of land before people.

I make sure to show it to them, that war has consequences and you can't just be a crybully and start a fight and delusionally think you can just go running around the town of Marshall spreading lies about how you were always a good boy and one day the faggot just snapped and started a hostility in which cause the faggot needs to be put on drugs and stopped because WE WHO TALK ABOUT HOW WE ARE SO POWERFUL SO DOMINANT ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW WE ARE SO BULLIED SO THREATENED

yes they cry cry cry cry cry and try to reframe themselves as the victim

while still believing in violence

still believing in war

and still creeping on my page wanting further war because they were kicked off tumblr but couldn't let go of spying on me, wanting to create a new page just so they can keep up siding with the Oppressor and try to eradicate

one faggot

in a bedroom somewhere

and it's a bedroom he paid for himself

which Bruce, Dad, Bro, and Babycuck all have not accomplished, all of them living in a bedroom paid for by somebody else

no, i will not be a typical american, starting conflicts and then playing the victim like americans do

i am interested in totally humiliating and crushing Proud Boys who pose a threat to Latinos and Native Americans and Blacks in America with their dehumanising attitude about how all those people are somehow 'irrelevant' because as an oppressing force they, the oppressing Babycuck, Babybro, Babydad, and Babybruce only learned self interest

and as fuckface nuclear products who only ever learned self interest, they're only interested in continuing what Columbus started -- an eradication of the gay, the black, the brown, the PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS LIVED IN THIS COUNTRY.

that's what they stand for. i know them exactly for what they are.

they're dumb. real dumb. and they will not stop acting like Columbus' cucks and Trump's cucks.

why? i know exactly why, too.

The Trump 5 are far more Trumpian than I am. I try to humiliate those who take the red-pills while they endlessly prescribe the red pill

and the red pill is the pill that eradicates the indigenous population, eradicates the faggots, it's the red pill of the conquering army

however much they lie that nobody white in america is doing any harm

it's not a lie that's palatable to me. the red pill they swallow DOES harm minorities, they are the conquering forces, they are the harm inflictors who will not give it a rest.

every day they get up thinking how they can, just by being part of the marshmallowy gelatinous goop of Wonderbread in their own self-interest, wage battles against the indigenous population and small minority groups and me as a small minority individual

merely cuz their parents never told them

TRYING TO STUFF EVERY LAST CRUMB OF SOMEBODY ELSE IN YOUR FACE IS EVIL.

merely cuz their parents never told them DONT PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD LIKE A CAT PLAYS WITH A MOUSE, BATTLING IT WHEN ITS FUN, TALKING SWEET TO IT WHEN YOU'RE BORED -- DON'T PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD

merely cuz their parents never told them

LOOK IN THE MIRROR YOU UGLY PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE YOU EVEN DARE THINKING ABOUT ACTING LIKE SOMEBODY WHO'S MORE COMMITTED TO PROTECTING WEAK GROUPS IS THE PROBLEM AND YOU, WHO OPENLY COMMIT TO A PHILOSOPHY OF SELFISHNESS, ARE SOMEHOW GOING TO EVER GASLIGHT THEM INTO THINKING YOU ARE JUST AN ANGEL AND NOT A CUCK OF TRUMP AND COLUMBUS

But being very putrid and deluded as to the nature of their own 'intelligence,' they foment violence and propagate consumerist weakness like dumb animals will.

And they’ll always be dumb animals.

They know where to find me when they never change their ways… and being a Soothsayer of the obvious when it comes to mechanical devices who only know the hatred of combat and the frustration of not being able to eradicate every last minority who refuses to red pill itself -- I know the limits of their babyhood.

I know the limits of how all of the Trump 5, really, lack a mouth when it comes to me.

Bruce kinda still has a mouth, because he's still accessible online to see his dipshit shit, but the thing is -- and babycuck was getting this way too -- he's almost unreadable cuz he's so lazy and has nothing, really, to say other than the same repeated red-pilling

that's so weak that it's almost a Hello Kitty mouth

i mean i'm just so bored watching -- no wonder Gore Vidal was so spunky

when your squarecut opposition is William F. Buckley Jr., the main threat is that they're simply going to bore you to death. nobody can live under the oppression of empire without wanting to die of boredom, probably, i mean not unless you're very squarcut yourself and are a true believe.

They're too weak to change their ways. They're too weak to tear down a Columbus statue. They wouldn't see the point of tearing it down with their own hands. They wouldn't see the point of tearing Luke Bryan down with their own hands.

They would think 'scary scary this is scary scary scary scary the lack of desire of these faggots to have false idols like we do, the faggots who don't appreciate the sound of gunfire, the faggots who don't appreciate the sound of a chainsaw, the faggots who don't appreciate a killer mindset or trying to eradicate an opponent in an unjust war whenever the mafia or Putin or any asshole who truly believes in straightfoward violent ways gets the whim'

Nah, they play a baby's game of lying that Alanis Morrisette has a machine gun instead of what she does have

the ability to sing

and live

and think

and reflect I’m strong enough to take the venom and tricks and lies and manipulations of babies and their disdain for women, their endless bitching crying and whining and shitting about women just like the total weaklings they are -- too weak to even handle a woman in a battle they started

and i'm strong enough to even have more courage when i stumble out for Dunkin Donuts as concerns what i want to show the world

than they'll probably be able to manage in 10 years

The Power of Trump Wun is not a 'power' that can ever intimidate or derail me, for i find great joy in blossoming up a small flower on my own time in my own life in my own city, my Room Of One's Own of a life, a room they nose on into, a room they're very curious about, a room they try to penetrate because they're sick, bored and hateful people --

where they try to harness the power of the American empire to firebomb me and eradicate me --

they cannot eradicate me. and if the sharp tongue of a faggot who doesn't like them or respect them is BOOOH OOOHO HOHOHOO OMG WHY DOESNT HE STOP DISLIKING ME I NEVER APOLOGISED FOR SHIT OR TOOK ACCOUNTABILITY FOR SHIT AND ONLY WANT TO STUFF HIM IN MY FACE AND USE HIM is all those assholes can keep coming up with

well if that's all

then they're forever what i said they are

Babydad, Babybro, Babybruce, Babycuck.

and if they can't handle being called a baby?

TOO FUCKING BAD that's life, kid.

as my daddy loved to say when i was a kid "LIFES NOT FAIR GIGGLE GIGGLE"

which i always thought was a dumbass untrustoworthy asshole thing of him to say

but now the tables are turned "ITS NOT FAIR" yeah well go cry about it you fucking baby, i can't even think of a worse father than you were, you lawbreaking, 'i feel so wild and free' fat fucking Darth Vader asshole. i will never join you and i will always forever hate you unless you apologise and make amends, which as my piece of shit American Mukbang dad i doubt you can do.

and by the way dad, i'll never have sex with you even when you got all hot and heavy and strangled me, i didn't bone but i'll be jerking my thick gay dick and shooting gay cum again and again to daddy-son erotica written back in the days of America Online

cuz in my Private Idaho, that's where it's at right now.

in all FAIRness, i'm not huge into the daddy son stories but i'm trying to get with the times a little more on that since i'm always being called daddy, you know.

yes dad, we'll never have sex. i know me talking about how i didn't jump downstairs like a good little Nazi boy and say DADDYS HOME when you showed up unannounced to put the fear of GAWDADDY into me since you renounced God and declared him to be yourself

it didn't work

picture me being mentally ill because i masturbate in bed at 3pm and tell everyone about it

go right ahead FUCKWIT I think you're really mean so go cry that I'm Hitler you fucking asshole you're not fair and you never will be fair, let alone equitable not even in a benevolent gesture YOURE SUPPOSED TO CARE BUT ITS APPARENT ITS ALL OVER

#babycuck #babybro #babybruce #babydad #alanis morrisette #lily allen #Youtube #daddy issues #mommie queerest #the wagon house #the porter wagoner show #the porter wagon show

[meowmeowneko]

#daddy putin wanted in on the fun #but trump was to busy falling for femboy pence #proud boys #gay #shitpost #trump #anti trump

[chibidashie]

alright so imagine this because the trumpfuckers are shitting themselves over their “rights” being taken away by being forced to wear a mask and i want them to shit their pants more:

so imagine this... The Russians are invading the United States because trump lost the presidency, everyone in the Trump administration has been arrested for crimes against democracy, trump’s sugar daddy Putin is shitting himself and launched an all-out invasion on the East Coast. President Biden orders everyone to stay at home because he doesn’t want a single American dead. 

The Trumpfuckers, pissed that their “lord and savior” lost the election, disregards Biden’s orders because “FUCK YOU BIDEN YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY RIGHTS ARE BEING TAKEN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!” 

So the day comes and the Russians are storming New York City. So many boats and planes are launching attacks on American civilians. A lot of casualties and plenty of crimes against humanity. Despite the stay-at-home orders President Biden put into effect, the Trumpfuckers, feeling a slight inconvenience, go out to see the Russians attack New York City because they’re happy the Russians are taking over a city that has been “taken over by the libs” according to the Trumpfuckers. (they prolly drove from Pennsylvania and are at New Jersey just to watch this) 

The Trumpfuckers...are celebrating the Russians attacking. They’re watching from New Jersey as they’re grilling burnt ass hot dogs and burgers and drinking really shitty, white trash beer. It’s all fun and games for the Trumpfuckers until the Russians invade New Jersey. It seemed like New Jersey has become a normal state, obeying the stay-at-home orders from President Biden (South Jersey doesn’t count, theres sadly a lot of Trumpfuckers there). The Trumpfuckers, though, go on about how the United States has such a great military to the point they wanna shove a gun up their butt and become a corporate shill for Lockheed Martin and Boeing. 

The Russians don’t give a shit and proceed to attack the Trumpfucker barbecue, No Russian style.

The media is reporting it with all of the facts, but while Trump is in his jail cell, he tweets that this is all fake news and that Russia would never invade because of American Military Power and how the American Military would crush the Russians. Fox News hears about the Russians attack on the Trumpfucker barbecue. Fucker Carlson shits himself on live TV and goes “THIS WAS A LIBERAL HOAX THE LIBERALS DISGUISED THEMSELVES AS TRUMP SIMPS SO THEY’RE MAKING US LOOK BAD!!! WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!!!” and goes to defend trump’s tweets while he’s in federal prison because he too is a goddamn simp.

at the sight of the Trumpfucker Barbecue was clearly a whole caravan of Trump 2020 flags, guns, pickup trucks, anything else left behind by the trumpfuckers, including Trumpfuckers who got brutally attacked by the Russians. Fox News is defending the stupid actions of the Trumpfuckers.

Despite the No Russian-style attack on the Trumpfucker barbecue in New Jersey, the Trumpfuckers only wanna watch the Russians take over the “evil liberal cities”, kind of like how there were literal spectators at the beginning of the American Civil War because they do not know how brutal war is. Only this time, there are actual battles, and the Trumpfuckers, not giving a shit, continue to host barbecues and disobey stay-at-home orders from President Biden, only for more No Russian barbecue incidents to happen. The Trumpfuckers brought their own guns, only to be obliterated by whole ass tanks.

Fox News is defending the Trumpfucker barbecues. Every other sensible person is still staying home from the Russian invasion and tweeting about how stupid the Trumpfuckers are. Memes about the Trumpfucker barbecues are blowing up on social media everywhere. The Trumpfuckers are still bitching about their rights being taken away. Yet the Russians and the United States are at war. The only thing the Trumpfuckers care about is their “rights” being taken away...the right to be stupidly ignorant.

#writing #// gun mention #// violence #// politics #// trump #PLEASE GUYS DONT WATCH NO RUSSIAN IF YOU'RE FAINT OF HEART #also if i miss any tws please dont be afraid to send me an ask! #i went p feral on this because god my whole family is full of trumpfuckers #and i've mcfreaking lost it at this point #it would be such a shame if the trump simps saw this :^)

[theculturedmarxist]

The New York Times is literally a propaganda outlet and Timothy Egan is a deceitful chode. His every word drips with the anxious desperation of the Democrats who know their goose is cooked.

Watching “Succession,” the HBO show about the most despicable plutocrats to seize the public imagination since the Trumps were forced on us, made me want to tax the ultrarich into a homeless shelter. And it almost made a Bernie Bro of me.

That’s the thing about class loathing: It feels good, a moral high with its own endorphins, but is ultimately self-defeating. A Bernie Sanders rally is a hit from the same pipe: Screw those greedy billionaire bastards!

Sanders has passion going for him. He has authenticity. He certainly has consistency: His bumper-sticker sloganeering hasn’t changed for half a century. He was, “even as a young man, an old man,” as Time magazine said.

But he cannot beat Donald Trump, for the same reason people do not translate their hatred of the odious rich into pitchfork brigades against walled estates.

Because powerful oligarchs that own their government murder them with impunity when they do.

>March 7 was a bitterly cold day in Detroit, and a crowd estimated at between 3,000 and 5,000 gathered near the Dearborn city limits, about a mile from the Ford plant. The Detroit Times called it "one of the coldest days of the winter, with a frigid gale whooping out of the northwest". Marchers carried banners reading "Give Us Work, "We Want Bread Not Crumbs", and "Tax the Rich and Feed the Poor". Albert Goetz gave a speech, asking that the marchers avoid violence. The march proceeded peacefully along the streets of Detroit until it reached the Dearborn city limits.

>There, the Dearborn police attempted to stop the march by firing tear gas into the crowd and began hitting marchers with clubs. One officer fired a gun at the marchers. The unarmed crowd scattered into a field covered with stones, picked them up, and began throwing stones at the police. The angry marchers regrouped and advanced nearly a mile toward the plant. There, two fire engines began spraying cold water onto the marchers from an overpass. The police were joined by Ford security guards and began shooting into the crowd. Marchers Joe York, Coleman Leny and Joe DeBlasio were killed, and at least 22 others were wounded by gunfire.

>The leaders decided to call off the march at that point and began an orderly retreat. Harry Bennett, head of Ford security, drove up in a car, opened a window, and fired a pistol into the crowd. Immediately, the car was pelted with rocks, and Bennett was injured. He got out of the car and continued firing at the retreating marchers. Dearborn police and Ford security men opened fire with machine guns on the retreating marchers. Joe Bussell, 16 years old, was killed, and dozens more men were wounded. Bennett was hospitalized for his injury.

> All of the seriously wounded marchers were arrested, and the police chained many to their hospital beds after they were admitted for treatment. A nationwide search was conducted for William Z. Foster, but he was not arrested. No law enforcement or Ford security officer was arrested, although all reliable reports showed that they had engaged in all the gunfire, resulting in deaths, injuries and property damage. The New York Times reported that "Dearborn streets were stained with blood, streets were littered with broken glass and the wreckage of bullet-riddled automobiles, and nearly every window in the Ford plant's employment building had been broken".

The United States has never been a socialist country, even when it most likely should have been one, during the robber baron tyranny of the Gilded Age or the desperation of the Great Depression, and it never will be. Which isn’t to say that American capitalism is working; it needs Teddy Roosevelt-style trustbusting and restructuring. We’re coming for you, Facebook.

Yeah, just look how well that’s worked out, you fucking idiot.

The next month presents the last chance for serious scrutiny of Sanders, who is leading in both Iowa and New Hampshire. After that, Republicans will rip the bark off him. When they’re done, you will not recognize the aging, mouth-frothing, business-destroying commie from Ben and Jerry’s dystopian dairy. Demagogy is what Republicans do best. And Sanders is ripe for caricature. 

The same Republicans that got their breakfast ate by the dottering windbag cheetoman? The same Republicans that are unpopular with over half the fucking country? The same Republicans which have shown majority support for Sanders’s policies in the past? Those are the Republicans you’re talking about, right, Timothy, you fucking asshole?

I’m not worried about the Russian stuff — Bernie’s self-described “very strange honeymoon” to the totalitarian hell of the Soviet Union in 1988, and his kind words for similar regimes. Compared with a president who is a willing stooge for the Russian strongman Vladimir Putin, a little vodka-induced dancing with the red bear is peanuts.

Nor am I worried about the legitimate questions concerning the candidate’s wife, Jane Sanders, who ran a Vermont college into the ground. Again, Trump’s family of grifters — from Ivanka securing her patents from China while Daddy made other promises to Beijing, to Don Jr.’s using the White House to leverage the family brand — give Democrats more than enough ammunition to return the fire.

This is fun. Due to a complete lack of incriminating conduct, little Timmy has to invent wrongdoing to libel Jane Sanders. I suppose he’s relying on his readers being too stupid to read the article that he himself links, another NYT hitpiece that desperately tries to paint Ms Sanders as a shady character without anything in the way of tangible proof.

>Federal prosecutors have not spoken publicly about their investigation, though late last year, Ms. Sanders’s lead lawyer said he had been told it had been closed. And while doubts remain about the contribution pledges claimed by the college, the lawyer has said that neither Ms. Sanders nor her husband was even questioned by investigators, indicating a lack of significant evidence of a crime.

>After Ms. Sanders’s ouster, the college’s troubles worsened. It abandoned a promising effort she had undertaken to sell some of its new land to improve its finances, interviews show. A few years later, when it did begin selling, it was to a consortium that secretly included at least one member of its board, raising conflict-of-interest questions.

>There is little question that the college’s 2016 demise can be traced to Ms. Sanders’s decision to champion an aggressive — critics say reckless — plan to buy the land. But with potential students put off by the lack of a campus, and with many such colleges struggling at the time, her move was the academic equivalent of a Hail Mary. Her allies said she never had a chance to fulfill her vision.

>“Jane made an audacious gambit to save the college,” said Genevieve Jacobs, a former faculty member. “It seemed to be a moment of ‘change or die.’”

>In interviews and emails, Ms. Sanders expressed frustration at her dismissal and the college’s failure to continue her rescue plan.

>“They went a completely different direction in every way than what we had proposed and decided upon as a board — with the bank, with the diocese, the bonding agency,” she said. “They didn’t carry out any of the plan. It was very confusing and upsetting at the time.”

The TL;DR seems to be: Jane Sanders tried to save a struggling school with an audacious but risky plan that ended up being aborted when she was let go by by a board, some of the members of which may have had a stake in seeing it fail. At the very least, a much more complex situation than the aspersion of “running it into the ground.”

Trump bragged about sexual assault, paid off a porn star and ran a fraudulent university. He sucks up to dictators and tells a half-dozen lies before he puts his socks on in the morning. A weird column about a rape fantasy from 1972 is not going to sink Bernie when Trump has debased all public discourse.

No, what will get the Trump demagogue factory working at full throttle is the central message of the Sanders campaign: that the United States needs a political revolution. It may very well need one. But most people don’t think so, as Barack Obama has argued. And getting two million new progressive votes in the usual area codes is not going to change that.

“Ah jeez, ah fuck, he has no sexual indiscretions that I can dredge up and his Feminist polemic against pornography and the rape culture that it engenders is old news, and if I actually reported on it honestly people might actually read it and support his ideas. Oh, well, you see, despite the incredible groundswell of support for just such a thing, Barack Obama, the man that gave the banks trillions of dollars and then allowed the state apparatus to function as their gestapo-cum-storm troopers, says we don’t need one!”

Timothy Egan wants to dismiss “two million new progressive votes” after doing a little gaslighting. His Democrat masters don’t want people to remember that it was Obama’s promises of Hope and Change after 8 years of Republican tyranny that generated a record breaking voter turnout. They would also like you to forget that 2016 was a 20-year low in voter turnout. Do you think those things are related, Mr Egan? Do you think that there might be some connection between Obama taking advantage of the desperation of millions of people, betraying them, and then those people not fucking showing up next time, causing your party to lose to the dimwit that they themselves boosted to the position?

Give Sanders credit for moving public opinion along on a living wage, higher taxes on the rich and the need for immediate action to stem the immolation of the planet. Most great ideas start on the fringe and move to the middle.

But some of his other ideas are stillborn, or never get beyond the fringe. Socialism, despite its flavor-of-the-month appeal to young people, is not popular with the general public. Just 39 percent of Americans view socialism positively, a bare uptick from 2010, compared with 87 percent who have a positive view of free enterprise, Gallup found last fall.

“Just” 39 percent of Americans, up 4% from 2016. This is ignoring for the moment that due to Americans’ piss-poor education system they have no idea what “Socialism” means aside from “more government.” Looking at the breakdown of results, it seems as though they just asked people off the top of their head what they thought about X, no definition or elaboration given. Unsurprisingly, when you look at the actual numbers on specific issues, you can see exactly why Egan has to play this deceptive bullshit: of respondents 18-34, 52% have a favorable view of “Socialism,” as opposed to 47% supporting “Capitalism.” This is in sharp contrast to the 35-54 and 55+ cohorts. 65% of Democrats have a favorable view of “Socialism.” Those with a “Liberal” ideology are even more in favor at 74%, Timothy Egan, you massive shithead.

What’s more, American confidence in the economy is now at the highest level in nearly two decades. That’s hardly the best condition for overthrowing the system.

"The highest level in nearly two decades.” That’s faint fucking praise right there.

You can see the tremendous fucking crater caused by the crash in 2007/8, a reversal of a whopping -81 points from the previous year. With many economists forecasting recession beginning either this year or the next, we’ll see how long the confidence lasts. 

So-called Medicare for all, once people understand that it involves eliminating all private insurance, polls at barely above 40 percent in some surveys, versus the 70 percent who favor the option of Medicare for all who want it. Other polls show majority support. But cost is a huge concern. And even Sanders cannot give a price tag for nationalizing more than one-sixth of the economy.

A ban on fracking is a poison pill in a must-win state like Pennsylvania, which Democrats lost by just over 44,000 votes in 2016. Eliminating Immigration and Customs Enforcement, another Sanders plan, is hugely unpopular with the general public.

“Medicare for all is really unpopular, except when it isn’t.”

Hmm, you know? Hmmm.

As for fracking, from his own link:

>A November poll conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation and the Cook Political Report found that only 39 percent of Pennsylvania swing voters saw a fracking ban as a good idea, even as nearly 7 in 10 of those same voters said they supported the idea of a “Green New Deal” for the environment.

Democrats are whinging on the jobs “lost” to a fracking ban as though it exists in isolation. 39% might support a fracking ban, but 70% support the GND, which could potentially offset the “job loss” with industry that has the potential not to leave their state as a fucking environmentally ruined horror show. I haven’t run the numbers on this, but not living in a cesspool of polluted air and water tends to be pretty popular, Timbo.

More shellgames from Mr Egan regarding abolishing ICE.

> Only 1 in 4 voters in the poll, 25 percent, believe the federal government should get rid of ICE. The majority, 54 percent, think the government should keep ICE. Twenty-one percent of voters are undecided. 

That sounds bad. Maybe it’s not such a good ide

>But a plurality of Democratic voters do support abolishing ICE, the poll shows. Among Democrats, 43 percent say the government should get rid of ICE, while only 34 percent say it should keep ICE.

Oh.

Sanders is a rigid man, and he projects grumpy-old-man rigidity, with his policy prescriptions frozen in failed Marxist pipe dreams. He’s unlikely to change. I sort of like that about his character, in the same way I like that he didn’t cave to the politically correct bullies who went after him for accepting the support of the influential podcaster Joe Rogan.

Democrats win with broad-vision optimists who still shake up the system — Franklin Roosevelt, of course, but also Obama. The D’s flipped 40 House seats in 2018 without using any of Sanders’s stringent medicine. If they stick to that elixir they’ll oust Trump, the goal of a majority of Americans.

Democrats lose with fire-and-brimstone fundamentalists. Three times, the party nominated William Jennings Bryan, the quirky progressive with great oratorical pipes, and three times they were trounced. Look him up, kids. Your grandchildren will do a similar search for Bernie Sanders when they wonder how Donald Trump won a second term.

“Failed Marxist pipe dreams.” Aaaaay lmao. You should also have an inkling something is wrong when you have to go all the way back to FDR to find someone that supports your point. Talk about “poison pills,” Obama proved himself to be as much of a snake as the rest, and the effects of that resonated in 2016 when the Dems ran on a platform of “that’s a nice country you have there, you wouldn’t want Trump to get elected, would you?” How did that work out? You ran one of the most unpopular politicians in the country—after very blatantly rigging the primaries against Sanders to do so—against one of the most unpopular capitalists in the country, and lost, dipshit!

Ironically, I think Timbob’s closing statement will prove true, though not in the way his clown ass intends. Shills like Egan are doing everything they can to try and poison public perception against Sanders and his policies, who only proves increasingly popular as time goes on, so much so in fact that the DNC is already biting its nails and muttering to itself about ways it can try and cheat his supporters again.

In conversations on the sidelines of a DNC executive committee meeting and in telephone calls and texts in recent days, about a half-dozen members have discussed the possibility of a policy reversal to ensure that so-called superdelegates can vote on the first ballot at the party’s national convention. Such a move would increase the influence of DNC members, members of Congress and other top party officials, who now must wait until the second ballot to have their say if the convention is contested.

They deny it in the article, claim that changing the rules would be “bad sportsmanship,” but one would be a fool to believe them. If anything, their ambivalence towards relying on Superdelegates would make me even more nervous at this stage. Politico wants it to seem like the DNC is bent on playing fair, but more likely than not they have no intention of changing the convention rules because they believe there’s no need. With Warren’s flagging support and the luke-warm response to Biden, I doubt they’re overcome with optimism of beating Sanders in an honest primary. With all the shenanigans from last time’s primaries in mind, it’s likely that the machinery to rig the results their way is already in place—the primary could already be over before it even begins.

#iowa #2020 election #us presidential election #bernie sanders #bernie sander for president #DNC #timothy egan #new york times #propaganda #propagandists #universal healthcare #medicare for all #fracking #marxism #socialism #capitalism #donald trump #millennials #generation z #zoomers #economy #economics #recession

[bbclesmis]

The Guardian: Les Misérables' Andrew Davies: 'I haven't added much sex to it. Sorry to disappoint'

Britain’s greatest transformer of literary classics on his BBC One adaptation of Victor Hugo’s masterpiece

We’re just minutes into our interview and already the conversation has turned to brothels and sadomasochism. But perhaps this is not entirely surprising. Sauce is, after all, Andrew Davies’s trademark. As Britain’s greatest transformer of literary classics into raunchy, bodice-busting primetime TV, Davies is the man who added incest to War and Peace, put daddy-issue sex into the backstabbing Westminster drama House of Cards, and reinvented Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice as a wet-shirt-clad Colin Firth. None of those things, purists note, appear in the original texts.

Despite all these achievements, the 82-year-old writer never quite managed to smuggle his steamiest offerings into the nation’s living rooms. Take his adaptation of Fanny Hill, the 18th-century “memoirs of a woman of pleasure” that became one of the most prosecuted and banned novels. “This is a pornographic book,” says Davies. “There are lots of whips and sadomasochism – and I did try a couple of more explicit brothel scenes. But one works with a producer and a script editor, and they might say: ‘Um, we don’t think this is quite right for the BBC, Andrew.’ And so OK, it was worth a try.”

Speaking with Davies, who lives in Kenilworth, Warwickshire, is not unlike watching one of his dramas: innuendo and humour keep appearing, to spice up the serious and the considered. Conversation can quickly take on the slight sensation of romp, like when he talks about visiting sets. “I tend not to go much during filming,” he says. “As the writer, you don’t have a job so you’re hanging round like the spare prick at a wedding. I’ll go a couple of times, arrive before lunch, tell the actors they’re brilliant, and then leave shortly after.”

It’s easy to forget his advancing years: Davies has a mischievous laugh and still writes every day. But the biggest difference between now and when he started out comes whenever he goes to an award ceremony. “I’ve got a bad back,” he says, “so I don’t do as much dancing.”

As we speak, he is excited about Les Misérables, his much-heralded adaptation of Victor Hugo’s masterpiece of the 1832 Paris uprising. Three years in the making, and about to headline BBC One’s new year schedule, the series is spread over six hour-long episodes and boasts a principle cast of more than 100 – including Dominic West, Olivia Colman and David Oyelowo. The aim, clearly, is to be every bit as epic as the original 1,400-page novel – and, possibly, to banish memories of Russell Crowe bursting into song in the 2012 Hollywood musical version.

“Our tagline is ‘nobody sings’,” says Davies, who has won five Baftas and two Emmys. “It will be interesting to see how fans of the musical react, because I think they will be surprised by how much of Victor Hugo’s original story never made it into the musical. There’s so much more to it than many people know: about the cat-and-mouse relationship between Javert and Jean Valjean, and about Fantine and her early life – her happiness before the misery. We have explored all that. We’ve done it properly.”

The big question is of course this: how has he sexed it up? There have been rumours that Dominic West’s rear end gets an airing. He laughs. “You know, I do think sex is a huge motivation in a lot of these great 19th-century books but not so much in Les Misérables. I don’t think I’ve put a great deal in that wasn’t there. I’m sorry to disappoint.”

In reality, Davies rarely disappoints. He is a master of his craft. His gift lies in taking complex, sprawling novels and, while retaining the original spirit, boiling them down to something fast and fierce, full of fun and frolics. In his adaptations, nothing is sacred. Classic scenes are hacked away and completely new ones added, while beloved characters get killed off early or just never appear.

In House of Cards – his 1990 take on Michael Dobbs’ novel about Tory party skullduggery – he decided he wasn’t keen on the story’s original ending. His solution? To reverse it entirely and have the bad guy win. Dobbs liked it so much that, in a re-released edition of the book, he did likewise. When Netflix transferred the drama to Washington for a new US version in 2013, it followed suit.

“I think we all have this feeling when we’re reading a book: ‘Oh, I wish they’d written a scene between this character and that character.’ Or: ‘I wish this person wasn’t quite so prominent.’ And for me, it’s a question of being alert to those feelings, then writing them in. I do what I would like to see and hope the audience goes with me.”

Generally, it does. His credits read like a best of British TV and include definitive Dickens adaptations of Bleak House and Little Dorrit (in which the reclusive Miss Wade was transformed into an insatiable lesbian). Then there was Tipping the Velvet, complete with taboo-busting dildo revelry, not to mention Sunday night favourites Mr Selfridge and Doctor Zhivago. Among his fans is none other than Vladimir Putin: the Russian president said 2016’s War and Peace “captured the Russian soul, the epoch and the depth” of Leo Tolstoy’s original. “I’m certainly no fan of Putin,” says Davies. “But I’m happy enough he’s a fan of mine.”

He hopes Les Misérables, which has been made by the same team, will receive similar international acclaim. While writing it, he found himself surprised by its relevance, finding parallels between 19th-century France and the world in 2018. “This huge difference between the haves and have-nots still exists,” he says. “People are taking to the streets in Paris right now, but the inequalities are here in Britain too. And you wonder if anything has been learned. We had a very grand BBC launch in Piccadilly and it was pouring with rain and you had beggars sitting there on the wet pavement with nothing as we tiptoed past them in our best clothes and went in for a champagne reception.” He seems momentarily troubled. “There is a huge irony there. I see it, but I don’t know what can be done.”

Davies is rumoured to be the highest-paid screenwriter in the business but he comes from a background more aligned to the have-nots. Born in Cardiff, the grandson of a miner, his main dream as a young writer, he once said, was to “go to London, get drunk a lot and have loose women”. His first TV play, called Who’s Going to Take Me On?, was broadcast when he was 29, yet it was another 21 years before he became a full-time scriptwriter. In the meantime, he moved to the Midlands with his wife, Diana Huntley, had a couple of children and taught at schools and universities while continuing to write screenplays.

In a way, the teaching was a great apprenticeship. “I spent years trying to bring these classics to life for students,” he says. “In a sense, doing it on screen is just a grander, more expensive way of doing a lecture.” He chose to focus on adaptations, he has said, because his original works were always autobiographical – and this was a problem. “I live a very quiet life. There’s not very much to write plays about.”

His most famous work is perhaps 1995’s Pride and Prejudice, a Jane Austen retelling so filled with life, lust and laughter that it revolutionised costume drama. “We wanted to show that these were young people with all the same passions that we have,” he says. “They weren’t just bonnets.”

He is currently working on a new Austen adaptation. Sanditon, which will begin filming in spring, is a reworking of her great unfinished work about the transformation of a fishing village into a seaside town. ITV has described it as “lavish”. “She only wrote 100 pages or so,” he says, “which I’d used up midway through the first episode. So the rest I’ve had to make up. It’s been a blast.”

Yet there have been critics of the project. Some have asked if it is still appropriate for a man to transform the work of a woman. The word “appropriation” has been used. “To adapt a novel,” he says, “whether it’s by a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter what sex you are. You just have to know a lot about novels and a lot about adapting – which I do. You know, Sarah Waters didn’t have any problem with me doing Tipping the Velvet, which is not only by a woman but about lesbians. And I’m not one of those either. Will people say you have to be a murderer to write a convincing killer? It’s barmy.”

Sanditon is not the only thing he’s working on. He may be in his 80s but Davies hopes this decade will be his most productive yet. Another project is his upcoming version of A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth’s majestic novel set in post-colonial India. It will be the BBC’s first drama featuring an entirely non-white cast.

Another is a series based on John Updike’s Rabbit novels, which may be Davies’s first work made for a streaming service. “It’s early days but that might be on the cards,” he says, mentioning both Netflix and Amazon as potential platforms. “It would be a thrill.” And neither, I suggest, is averse to turning up the phwoar factor. “I know,” he says and gives that mischievous laugh one last time.

• Les Misérables starts on BBC One on Sunday. (x)

#les mis bbc #bbc les mis #Andrew Davies #Interviews

[automatismoateo]

Teacher said that if God really wanted to help Ukraine, he would send an army of angels. via /r/atheism

Teacher said that if God really wanted to help Ukraine, he would send an army of angels.

In my country, (Catholic) religion is taught from the first to the last school year. These lessons are not mandatory, but almost everyone participates. For example, out of 17 people in my class, I'm the only one who doesn't. I don't really know what they are about, as I was raised in an atheist family, and I've never asked my classmates.

However, today, a religion teacher (a creationist, misogynistic bastard who literally told a girl student to go back to the kitchen) said in class: "If only God wanted this war to end, he would send an army of angels to stop Putin and save the people of Ukraine".

I am sick and tired of these shitty people thinking that their sky daddy will save the day. Moreover, what TF does "if only" mean? Does this mean that your kind, caring, and loveable god doesn't like Ukrainians and is having fun watching them die under Russian bombs? Is it maybe because of Ukraine's gay people, the reason why fighting this war is reasonable, according to Kirill?

I really don't understand how this man can teach in a public school. He has a wife and a daughter too. I feel sorry for both of them.

Submitted March 16, 2022 at 03:56PM by Voodoo_Freak6618 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/ANa0Ely)

#reddit

[aph-2p-headcanons]

2P!Russia Boyfriend Headcanons

((okay ive gotten  shit ton of passive aggressive asks for him and china and romano they're cOmIng PatienNce ples. ))

hi hello is this thing on yes thaNK YOU WELCOME FOLKS

TO THE BRAGINSKY BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS *eight grader airhorn

app*

okay it jus one boy

ur boi

;)))))))))

VIKTOR BRAGINSKY

wowie what a man

such a tol boi i mean are you short????

are you tall??

it doesn't matter

he;ll do it all

like i can see him in sweater vests and button ups and his lil scarf for some reason just with you on his shoulders mounting a paper plate on the wall because he's fucking weird as hecke

oKAY SORRY GETTING OFF TOPIC AGAIN

ALRIGHT

SO

YOU GOT A RUSSIAN BITCH BABY

he wont cry if you call him that dont worry he isn't a shark he'll just snark

WOO ON PAR WITH THE RHYMES TODAY I AM A RAP GODD KACHOW

he m e mes im so sorry,,,,,

like he's such a fucking dad it's never funny they're all from 2009 and you're probably cringing but he thinks its funny and he doesn't have a visible sense of humour so you chuckle and tell him that that cat in the ceiling is hilarious - "how did he get up there heh sillyy cat"    " :,<)) gee bab e i dunno aha h ahA" *scrapes teeth along cheese grater*

i havent even explained oh me oh m y

dearest apologies friends

viktor is seen by most as tall, dark, and mysterious (spoiler: he is),,,

i see him, also, as this , like, almost snobby quiet guy?? that was brought up sheltered from the outside world?? ya dig??

like

he doesn't suck a whole bunch, he's just inexperienced

he loves to read and write and is a pacifist ((so you could sayy,,,, he wanted to write, not fight,,,, ive already made three im so sorry))

so,,, he does not want to fight with you, eve r

but he will not hesitate to tell you if he doesn't like something you're doing - my dude doesn't have time for fuckery - unless it's meant to be fun - like,,, - he doesn't want to be mean, but he doesn't like that you are being mean, ya dig??????

anyway

so the dude is like Ivan, just harder??? like physically and emotionally

he's been very distanced from people his whole life, so he comes off as rather blunt, crude, and cold,,

m'bOI DOESNT WANT TO SCARE YOU OFF WITH HIS INTIMIDATING AURA;;;

HE WANTS UR LUV UR LUV IS HIS DRUG

im sorry it's not 2011 anymore someone drag me from this pit

he is like francois and kuro;;;;; he likes romanticism

he also likes quiet

so gentle, quiet dates at home are his favourite

he isn't one for social interaction,,,

but if you really wanna, then he will go !

he really likes ballet and opera and classy things

my dude will d r a g you to recitals and performances all the time

he's a theater nerd

HE'S LIKE THAT ONE DRAMA KID NO ONE EXPECTED

you can hear him humming to les mis while he reads and francois hating the room a little bit less because of it

i feel like he's actually so ripped but if his skin touched sunlight he would be banished to sibera - welcome home comrade

he likes,, soft - if you have a soft body he has a new pillow and a lead head - rip @ur thighs they are asleep

he and francois go to poetry slams often and he wants you to come too so he knows someone

he will lift you

unexpectedly

anywhere

if you are in the way you're on the ceiling now bye like,,, you are i n the spot he needs to vaccuum at that exact second right then all the time what the hecke he just mopped and you're s t an di n g i n th e f ll oor with your s OCKs

yOU were just in the Ga Ra ge you H e ck  Er

you're on the chandelier now

no you're not he needs to dust up there get down what the fuck e Swifter no Sweeping™ !!

he is ur mom and ur dad

did u do ur laundry?????????????? no?????????????? good he already did like seven weeks ago catch the fuck up "honey where are the ??? bills???" "i did them approximately eighteen billion years ago? get on my level?"

he speaks to you *and only you* in a friendly joking way

he speaks fluent sarcasm to everyone - if you aren't familiar with the language you will be the first day into the relationship

t o u c h this boy he needs your touch like he needs a  i  r

he will most likely complain but he is a dirty liar

the dude's hair is messy 24/7 but it looks  so,,, good,,,,

he's an early riser but hates waking up which is The Worst™ - he's got breakfast ready at 3AM tho

read to him! he will Die

if you know russian he will never speak english to you again it's settled -if you don't you will never speak english again it's settled, he's teaching boy howdy would he be a sexy teacher holy fuck

i feel like his ass is so firm it could crush coconuts between its cheeks - its its own entity

he unfortunately is good friends with Zao and is unfortunately dragged on unfortunate events all the time, unfortunately,,, - save him - he is a cry for help

he goes on trips a lot and no on knows why? like sometimes he's gone and then he's back and everyone is like????? where go?? - "i was in wales. doing things." "hey sorry im late i didnt want to come"

he sometimes calls you in the middle of the night when he wakes up from a nightmare, but most of the time if you dont answer he'll just listen to your voicemail so he knows you're still there

aAAAAAAA WHAT A SALTY BEAN

he gives a good ol' massage - not the most empathetic but he isn't apathetic either, he just isn't the best comforter

i feel like he is vladimir putin and leisurely rides bears with matt

i dont understand him at all like he will be crying in his bathtub, bottle of whiskey and pure vodka mixed, watching Barbie in the Pink Shoes one second and on top of the empire state building with three pitbull bodyguards and a Gucci cigar - i don't eventhink those exist but he has one??? he doesn't even smoke that often??

looks super cute baking muffins in a pink apron at 4pm on a Tuesday

looks super cute gutting a fish on a rock in the siberian tundra at 4am on a Thursday

he always wears longsleeves but looks SO GOOD in short sleeves or tanks like FUCK

his sweaters hide his secrets but you can wear them so you know he used to want to be a cowboy when he was seven and b o u g h t a wax replica of indiana jones for his collection

he looks so damn good in a suit holy shit

i feel like he's a tailor but only for dolls, its cute - he will make you origami things all the time idk why he is so good at them tho

he'll wrap the two of you in a blanket burrito on a hot day and refuse to let go "get off my lawn"

youre dating a grandpa

he is kinda a sugar daddy tho, but he's reserved and doesn't wave it because he is an Adult McGrownUp

actually is probably a traffic conductor in his spare time, but only in andorra? on the weekends? that's probably where he actually is

viktor lOves tobe called vitya and its probably as good as a daddy kink

clevverr, clevverrr boi

hs is a Good Boi i promise

will be ur angle or ur dev i l tho ;))

just ask and he's urs

VIKTOR BRAGINSKY FOLKS

#2p russia #aph russia #aph #hetalia #2p #2p hetalia #aph 2p #2p headcanons #headcanons #boyfriend headcanons #aph headcanons #hetalia headcanons

[realhankmccoy]

Q: Hank, so your dad is all about money and Bugs Bunny Boy is all about being fake but they accuse You of being all about money and You about being fake?

A: Correct, but this is the classic case of -- Putin and Trump do it too, and remember how cucked they are.

I mean to just brazenly blurt shit at people like that -- that they're all about money or fake -- people you pretend to have cared for -- just shows how little you truly care and how entitled you are, and really what a volatile toddler who can't control his emotions like a big boy they all are.

But yes, they have a cynical worldview caused by selfishness and insecurity and laziness and in tandem with that, are much more conservative than I am, and so they feel like snapping me down to size and saying I'm not only just as bad as them (all about money, all about being a fake Bugs Bunny and pretending to be things you're not for the purpose of tricking others as the cartoon rabbit do)

And they really get their undies in a bundle when they can't manipulate that way.

My dad says I'm all about money. So I decide fine, I'm not working all fucking year or doing a single goddamn thing to obtain money in it -- and he gets furious, steam comes out of his ears for now the opposite reason, I am not about money and he wishes I were (which is what he's wished all along)

Bugs Bunny Boy says I'm fake. So I decide fine, I'm going to honestly tell Bugs Bunny Boy what I think straight up instead of babying him. And then it's just crying waah waah how dare you why don't you just fake it and read my crap that you have no interest in because it's so tedious why don't you just fake how you feel and act like my grandma yes be a fake be my grandma

These people can't ever sort themselves fucking out. They are Goldilocks... just some spoiled kid roaming around being unsatisfied with everyone because they were entitled and they want to stick their finger in a porridge until they find what's just right

and when they do find it

voilà! what's just right to Goldilocks is

your dumbass redneck brother who wants his daddy literally to hurry up and die, but daddy's too dumb to know it

some dumbass cuck of Hitler's from some crappy part of Germany who wants planet earth's climate and the Jews to hurry up and die

And so -- hey -- how many wingdings materialise on their farms or how many muscles pop out or goofy word combinations they learn to type is irrelevant to me. they're running a capitalist asshole's ratrace like they were programmed to do by the system. they're not fun people. they're not nice people. they're not innovative people.

they're playing a game i'm not interested, for if i were interested in

farm wingdings muscles arrangements of words

i certainly wouldn't look to them for these as they're never going to be anywhere near the Best in Show for them. but they want to be a pig you see. woof woof, oink oink or whatever they say.

mostly, i like to roadmap 'the mind of an asshole' when it comes to them both, because I love to be the polar opposite of assholes and Nietzsche was wrong about 'in fighting monsters'... it's simple, you roadmap the asshole and have a problem with its ways and then when you meet a normal person without a superiority complex / inherent capitalistic competitive hatred of others, you just act wonderfully just like Odysseus or whoever would. was Nietzscher so stupid that he couldn't understand Homer? I guess so. what a big baby about liberals. however, i will say that Nietzscher was actually correct about a lot of leftists -- a lot of leftists DO have mini-Trump in them and they are not capable of self-control when it comes to dealing with the ordinary peasantry. so i mean i guess Nietzscher was right about 'fighting monsters'... who was wrong was Nietzscher's readership who just generally assume that aphorism applies to everyone they know (like idiots would)

i find assholes to be ugly, and it colours their face and body to me... no matter how much work they put in, they'll remain ugly. they don't realise this because they i guess never paid attention in junior high to how even the jockiest of jocks becomes quite an ugly sight to the other kids if the jock's a bully or hates gays -- these assholes actually just listen to the capitalist subordinates and think that amplifies the lust, but it only does in the truly compliant and truly lacking in self-respect -- which is what these assholes are themselves, compliant, tho they may respect themselves massively.

and so, you see, they're just too stupid to get it. but that's what gets them out of bed in the morning -- my dad thinks just one more wingding on the farm or upgrade to my brother and he'll 'win' bugs bunny boy thinks just one more muscle or one more tumblr post and he'll 'win'

they're playing a capitalist kid rat's game, the sort with a lot of massive inherent bias against 'inferior' types of bodies -- to them, these are black bodies, gay bodies, female bodies, etc. -- and they can't win a game that to you is stupid

i truly have met 6 yr old girls i admire more than them and who are smarter.

it's sort of fun to be able to direct the rat within the race and cordon it in as you take on a man's responsibilities and interests and they take on a rat racer's -- something every intelligent and/or decent person has always condemned.

#mommie dearest

[richmeganews]

Saturday Night Live Wades Into the Chaos of the Mueller Report

Last Saturday, the day after Robert Mueller released the report detailing his team’s findings about whether the Trump campaign colluded with Russia, Saturday Night Live was wrapping up a three-week-long hiatus. There was no show, then, to offer an immediate reaction to the completion of the years-in-the-making assessment from the special counsel.

The delay that resulted could’ve been a liability for a show premised on quick reactions to a dizzying news cycle; in this case, however, the schedule-enforced slowness was an asset. Quinta Jurecic noted this week in The Atlantic that the Mueller report and its aftermath can evoke the feeling of living in a state of suspended animation, with nothing fully decided or confirmed, despite the report’s official conclusion. SNL used its return to lean into the chaos and explore the consequences of that feeling—and to find humor in the ways the report has lived in American politics in the week since it was delivered to Congress. The episode was an uneven effort, but at its best it led to nuanced treatments of the Mueller report as a cultural phenomenon—aided by the fantastic guest host, Sandra Oh.

The show’s cold open played pretty much as you’d expect: Robert De Niro reprised his role as a jaded and prosthetically square-jawed version of Robert Mueller; Alec Baldwin appeared once again as a simpering, pucker-mouthed Donald Trump; Aidy Bryant played William Barr, the newly appointed United States attorney general who, in his capacity as the nation’s top lawyer, last Sunday provided a four-page-long summary of Mueller’s 300-plus-page report. (That her characterization in this case was notably bland offered its own commentary on Barr as a public official.) SNL, making use of split screens, took aim at the absurdities of the report-condensation process itself—a game of telephone, the show suggested, only with the muddled messaging coming not as the result of accidental mishearings but rather of political strategy.

“I am submitting these 380 pages,” De Niro’s Mueller put it.

“I am writing almost four pages,” Barr translated.

“I am reading zero pages,” Trump declared, “but Sean Hannity has read it and he was so excited that he texted me an eggplant.”

The sketch went on like that: call-and-response-and-response, the (still unknown) substance of the original Mueller report getting lost in the fog of determined presidential triumphalism.

“On the charge of obstruction of justice,” Mueller said gravely, “we have not drawn a definitive conclusion.”

Barr: “But I have, and my conclusion is: Trump’s clean as a whistle!”

“Free at last, free at last!” the president echoed.

Mueller: “As for conspiracy or collusion, there were several questionable incidences involving the president’s team, but we cannot prove a criminal connection.”

“No collusion, no diggity, no doubt,” Barr summarized.

Trump, at this, blew an air horn in celebration.

Kate McKinnon’s ghoulishly rodentine rendition of Rudy Giuliani made an appearance in the sketch, too, the Trump lawyer unable to resist taking a gleeful victory lap. “I will take the firstborn child of every Democrat, unless they can guess that my name is Rumpelstiltskin,” this version of Giuliani said.

McKinnon’s arrival was a relief. The scene, like many of the show’s recent cold opens, dragged on far too long. But it did manage to capture a truth that was not clear immediately after Mueller delivered his report: The document’s findings, overall, are not yet known with any precision, and they might not be anytime soon. And yet they will be weaponized. “I’ve included hundreds of pages of evidence,” De Niro’s Mueller said sternly. “Most of it provided on live television by the president himself,” Bryant’s Barr added. Which the celebrity president, using the language of an awards show, summed up like so: “Russia, if you’re watching, go to bed. Daddy won!”

The idea was further explored in a later sketch, this one detailing Russia’s own reaction to the Mueller findings. Beck Bennett reprised his role as Vladimir Putin, surrounded by deputies in an elaborately decorated conference room, as the underlings tried to process the idea that per the Mueller report, the American president had not colluded with the Kremlin.

“This—this cannot be, can it, sir? American president is work for Russia. Right?” one staffer asked, confused and crestfallen.

Another: “We look forward to report so much! You know, it was going to be Mueller Time, baby! All the world would see the power of Russia, and we were so excited!”

Another: “I was planning a party.”  

[Read: Americans can’t stop mythologizing Robert Mueller]

The joke ostensibly poked fun at Russia, but it came in fact at the expense of those who had spent the past many months convinced that Mueller’s report would find the Trump campaign guilty of collusion. Soon, Kim Jong Un (played by Bowen Yang, a staff writer on the show) appeared with an interpreter (Oh). The North Korean leader was questioning Putin’s influence over the American presidency, and Putin was attempting to assure him that he still had a troll army and so many more means of meddling—and, Putin noted, “We don’t know everything in the report yet. Plus, Mueller handed off a lot of stuff to the Southern District of New York. That’s where the real action is.”

To which Kim’s interpreter replied, “Glorious Leader says you sound like Rachel Maddow right now.”

There was more in this vein, as SNL reckoned with a report that is completed but not conclusive—and as the show explored what it feels like to live within the politics of suspended animation. The “Weekend Update” hosts Michael Che and Colin Jost compared the report to the Jussie Smollett case and to Duke’s recent men’s-basketball win. (“All the people I was told were bad guys all got away with it!” Jost said.) Cecily Strong reprised her impersonation of Jeanine Pirro, the Fox News host who is just returning to the network after a weeks-long reported suspension for Islamophobic comments she made about Representative Ilhan Omar of Minnesota. “After this Mueller report, we in Trump Nation can do anything we want!” Strong’s version of the TV personality said joyfully.

The scene was a noted contrast to Jost’s introduction to this particular “Weekend Update”—and to the tone of an episode that mourned as it mocked. (All the people I was told were bad guys all got away with it.) As Jost put it ruefully, acknowledging all that had happened—and all that had not—in the days since Mueller delivered his report to Congress: “Well, this week made me feel insane.”

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#Breaking News

[funnythingshere0-blog]

5 Funny Pictures Of Sidney Crosby, 5 Of Alex Ovechkin And 5 Of Connor McDavid

New Post has been published on http://funnythingshere.xyz/5-funny-pictures-of-sidney-crosby-5-of-alex-ovechkin-and-5-of-connor-mcdavid/

5 Funny Pictures Of Sidney Crosby, 5 Of Alex Ovechkin And 5 Of Connor McDavid

by Ana Kieu

– on Apr 12th

in NHL

Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin and Connor McDavid are three of the biggest hockey stars to ever grace the ice in the modern NHL that the majority of us are accustomed to watching on our televisions.

First and foremost, Crosby is a 30-year-old who serves as the captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins. Crosby is also a center who tends to shoot left. Secondly, Ovechkin serves as the captain of the Washington Capitals. Ovechkin is also a left wing who shoots right. Last but not least, McDavid is the youngest of the three said players, but he serves as the captain of the Edmonton Oilers. McDavid is also a center who shoots left.

While these three players indeed have their differences, they do share some similar qualities such as being team captains who were originally drafted with the first overall pick by the Penguins in 2005, Capitals in 2004 and Oilers in 2015, respectively. They’re all talented men who attract a lot of attention to themselves. They also have their fair share of both lovers and haters and it’s not only because of the fact the masses are just jealous that they do not have the same amount of talent, salary and charisma that these all-around good guys have within themselves. There are a wide variety of reasons behind their feelings towards the trio, but let’s focus on the silly side of these three because we want to make you laugh or at least chuckle right now.

Here are five funny pictures of Sidney Crosby, five of Alex Ovechkin and five of Connor McDavid.

15 Crosby: A Night With The Cup

via tumblr.com

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Crosby has always lived up to his nickname of “Sid the Kid.” Even though he’s 30 years old now, he has spent the last couple of seasons playing some of the best hockey of his career and broke a drought that went almost 10 years between Stanley Cups. Back in 2009, Crosby won the Stanley Cup when he was still a kid.

After the win, team owner Mario Lemieux held his own pool party and obviously, many Penguins were over there. As for Crosby, he got his day with the cup and chose to spend every waking (and sleeping) second with it.

We’ve heard that Crosby does nothing but obsess about hockey 24/7, but this is just ridiculous! Give Stanley a rest!

14 Ovechkin: Crosby Shirt In Hand

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When it comes to team rivalries, the Caps and Pens rivalry is arguably the NHL’s best rivalry in the United States. Part of that has to do with the physical fights on the ice, but there has not been a whole lot of harmful chaos in today’s NHL. The animosity between the two teams is larger than life, even off the ice.

Just take a closer look at this photo of Ovi holding up a steamy Crosby t-shirt with a disgusted look on his face. He clearly does not like the topless dude and it’s not just because of his looks. He simply does not look impressed with the shirt being sold in a large retail store that appears to be Wal-Mart, but that is how a mainstream business works and he has each and every right to cringe at the sight of such a shirt on the men’s section of the store. It is a fairly humorous photo to say the least.

13 McDavid: Airport Awkwardness

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Remember when the Oilers traveled to Southern California to take on the Ducks for a Game 7 matchup in May 2017?

Players from both teams had to wait in the customs line at the Edmonton International Airport, but McDavid was not thrilled to be there. In fact, he appeared to be confused and maybe even scared.

Thanks to a tweet by Global Edmonton’s Margeaux Maron, McDavid halfheartedly posed for a picture with the parents of Maron’s best friend. Boy, did he look awkward in this particular fan photo as Rosalina had her arms wrapped around him like he was her son and her husband, Jimmy, forcefully held out his hand to him like he was commanding him for an order of some sort. This was hands down a photo that McDavid did not want to take, but we cannot blame the older fans as they have not seen the Oilers make the playoffs since 2006.

12 Crosby: A Little Too Happy

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Crosby is not that big of a star in the American sports world like Tom Brady or Steph Curry, but without a doubt, he can party like a rockstar. He is far from a sheltered suburban boy and has a life outside of hockey, which can be a good thing, but his actions were a little too much for the average hockey fan who has seen this picture of him with a face that is red as a beet. He is also grinning excessively like a Cheshire cat.

Whatever Crosby was up to, he was having way too much fun in terms of the typical NHL portrayal of its players. But it was a perfectly normal photo because this is what regular people do when they are not working. Still, it is shocking in a funny way to see him let his hair down and break the commonplace stereotypes sometimes.

11 Ovechkin: In The Club

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It is kind of hard to believe that Ovi is not a bachelor anymore—as he has been married to the stunningly beautiful Nastya Shubskaya since 2016—but we would not blame him for being a man who used to chase women in the club all the time either.

Ovi might have not been out of character if he was playing in another sports league like the NFL, but he is an NHLer and he was debatably out of line for posing with two girls even though he doesn’t seem to keen on looking at the camera. But, of course, we cannot blame him for wanting to have some extra fun when he is not on the ice as the league’s best goal scorer. He is a human being, just like the rest of us.

Ovi might have fallen out of favor among young hockey fans, but this remains one of his entertaining pictures that he has been a part of.

10 McDavid: Airport Awkwardness (Part Two)

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Here’s part two of McDavid and his apparent airport awkwardness.

According to Yahoo! Sports, McDavid told Puck Daddy’s Greg Wyshynski and Vice Sports’ Dave Lozo on Puck Soup: “I was walking into the security line and I had actually walked past them. And then they say ‘Hey Connor can we get a picture?’ and I say ‘sure’ and sure enough they come up to me and start hugging me…Both of them. Both of them were hugging me…And sure enough there was someone who had their phone ready to take a picture. They had already turned around and were ready for the picture and took the picture before I had even realized what was going on. The whole thing lasted seven seconds and then I was out of there.”

McDavid then said that his fellow teammates thought it was the funniest picture ever, but it was a weird-looking picture for sure. Maybe he should enforce a new no-hugging rule to avoid such awkwardness.

9 Crosby: Justin Bieber Concert

via celebrity.com

Okay, this is a pretty funny picture because Canadian pop star Justin Bieber is apparently for more than just teenage girls.

Back in 2012, Crosby was spotted at a Bieber concert at the Consol Energy Center (now PPG Paints Arena) in Pittsburgh. It should be very obvious, but he got a lot of flak for attending such a concert. Not that we blame him though. He likely wanted to show some love to a fellow Canadian from a small Canadian team.

It is just sort of funny how Crosby is not wearing a Bieber concert tee like the other three girls in the picture. Also, the girl on the far right looks like she is about 10 years old and is wearing a Los Angeles Lakers jersey and a snapback that says “Swaggy.” Nick Young, also known as “Swaggy P,” is no longer with the team, but this is awkward because she does not look like a basketball fan at all.

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8 Ovechkin: Big Fan Of Vladimir Putin

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The NHL is not a very political league. The defending Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins accepted an invitation to visit President Donald Trump in the White House just days after Trump called some NFL players “sons of b—-” for kneeling during the national anthem and withdrew a similar invitation from the Golden State Warriors after Steph Curry reportedly said he did not want to attend. Pens fans were not crazy about their team’s idea, but it is what it is.

Moreover, Ovi drew copious amounts of attention to himself for being a longtime supporter of Russian President Vladimir Putin. Some felt he took things a bit too far when he started a political movement called PutinTeam in support of Putin. Lots of people in the states would disagree with his political beliefs, but he has political freedom.

We are just wondering why Ovi threw up a peace sign while posing for a picture with Putin.

7 McDavid: Controversial Halloween Costume

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McDavid is one of the best hockey players in the world, but he drove social media crazy on Halloween 2017 when he and his girlfriend, Lauren Kyle, decided to dress up as President Donald Trump and his wife, Melania Trump.

You should already know that the average person has a love-hate relationship towards politics and clearly does not want politics to be jumbled up with one of their favorite sports, so this one photo accumulated a lot of negative comments on social media. Despite all the snarky comments, this photo was still hilarious because McDavid and Kyle are both Canadians and did a pretty good job parodying an often despised presidential couple.

When asked about the rather controversial Halloween costume, McDavid responded: “You know what? It’s a Halloween costume, and that’s all it was…It was not meant to be anything or mean anything. It was a Halloween costume. That’s all I say about it.”

6 Crosby: Crybaby Much?

via youtube.com

If you are a Crosby hater, you should already know that Crosby is a crybaby and a whiner. There’s nothing new to learn about the Pens captain.

Sure, the NHL likely wanted to ask Ovi to tone down his partying ways in his bachelor days, but we are pretty sure that they also wanted to tell Crosby to stop looking (and complaining) like a crybaby on the ice.

This old picture of Crosby crying on the ice is somewhat funny because it looks like he is sobbing and wants his mother to help him out with his alleged injuries. Years later, he has proven the fact that he has become more of a tough guy, but this picture is still on the internet for the general public to see, which is far from the super masculine image that the league wants it fans to see of its supposedly rugged players.

5 Ovechkin: Friends With Pauly D

via washingtonpost.com

You might not have expected this friendship, but it seems like Ovi is really close friends with reality television star and disc jockey Pauly D. Yes, Pauly D.

In case you did not know, Pauly D has appeared on MTV’s Jersey Shore as a housemate. He also became the first housemate of the Jersey Shore cast to get his own spin-off show, which was appropriately called “The Pauly D Project.”

Back in 2011, the unconventional pair reportedly became fast friends. Ovi got to see Pauly D perform at ShamRockfest. He also got the Jersey Shore DJ to cheer for the Caps. He tweeted: “@DJPaulyD going to the game tom…he gonna scream let’s go caps!aaahhaha”.

After the game, Ovi stepped out of the shower to say hello to his bro and his teammates Eric Fehr (now with the San Jose Sharks) and John Carlson also introduced themselves to Ovi’s bro.

4 McDavid: Throwback Thursday

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As you can see, McDavid has not had much luck when it comes to puberty compared to his youthful teammates like, say, Leon Draisaitl and Jesse Puljujarvi. Just look at this picture from his good old days with the Erie Otters of the OHL (Ontario Hockey League) and you will see why we think that way.

McDavid, however, had the skills to get drafted first overall by the Oilers in the 2015 NHL Draft. He recorded 100 points (30 goals, 70 assists) along with 26 penalty minutes in 82 games played in 2016-17. More recently, he had his first four-goal game in a game against the Tampa Bay Lightning in February 2018.

According to CBC, Ryan Strome had this to say about McDavid: “He’s the best player in the world for a reason…He’s a helluva player, and it’s a privilege to watch every day.” Strome could not have phrased that perfect description of McDavid in a better way. Well said, Strome!

3 Crosby: White House Visit

via dailymail.co.uk

Again, we have to pull up a political picture because it is quite funny how Crosby looks unusually exited to meet President Donald Trump and shake his hand at the White House. It is hard to say how the NHL felt about the Pens’ visit to the White House, but the majority of hockey fans and media members thought that someone like Crosby would follow the likes of Curry and the Warriors. Turns out, they were wrong.

Crosby told The Washington Post: ““From my side of things, there’s absolutely no politics involved…Hopefully it stays that way. It’s a visit we’ve done in the past. It’s been a good experience. It’s not about politics, that’s for sure.”

Despite his unbiased, well-versed words, residents in his hometown of Halifax, Nova Scotia, were not impressed by his decision. But, at the end of the day, it is a player’s choice, not anyone else’s.

2 Ovechkin: With A Very Famous Fan

via miakshop.com

Mia Khalifa is no longer a film star, but she is now an aspiring sports journalist who has written a weekly column on FanSided and hosted a daily show on Complex News’ YouTube channel with former NBA player Gilbert Arenas.

Despite the fact Khalifa has left the industry, she has caught a lot of flak, including a degrading tweet from former ESPN reporter Britt McHenry.

Nevertheless, Khalifa is a big Washington sports fan and she is often seen at many Caps games. Hopefully Khalifa is successful in her new career. It’s just an odd pairing to see someone with Khalifa’s background getting her very own shirt from the Caps. It sure makes for a memorable snap though, that’s for sure.

1 McDavid: Just Plain Awkward

via sports.yahoo.com

This might have been the first picture that started it all.

Remember McDavid’s extremely awkward reaction when the Oilers won the draft lottery? Oh boy, this photo of him that was captured by—you guessed it—cameras that clearly zoomed in on his face. Not only that, the Twitterverse made and posted countless memes of his reaction. It was not the best way for him to start his new life in Edmonton, but it is in his past now.

Do not forget when Edmonton Sun’s Terry Jones wrote an in-depth column about this photo. Connor’s father, Brian, said: “To be honest, he was a little bit in shock…He would have had the exact same expression on his face if the winner had been Buffalo, Toronto or Arizona. The reality is that his future had just been decided by bingo balls.”

We are pretty sure that McDavid can look back and laugh at this picture now.

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