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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 4 months

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We need to talk about the most important thing yet, what their favorite Junk food? And I mean the family...

For this ask, we gotta head back into the modern Jake Sully wheelchair au.

Jake and Neytiri are health freaks.

I've said before, they like to do all sorts of things. Before they had children they were spontaneous backpackers and thrill seekers, attempting to do the most all the time. It was like all about proving to everyone (and also Jake) that he could still do anything anyone else could, but also about Neytiri getting out and seeing the world instead of being stuck at home.

That being said, Jake can really fuck up a bag of cape cod potato chips. Not as unhealthy as other junk food, and so classic American.

Neytiri is one of those bastards that gets raisins as a treat for the movies. Nature's candy and all that. She has a weakness for chocolate though, specifically those lindor ones with the soft insides. She'll only ever have like one or two, and one time Jake bought her chocolate covered raisins and almonds and it was over. If those are in the house she will sniff them out like a bloodhound.

Neteyam likes takis, because he is cultured and has taste.

Kiri is also a chocolate covered almonds person, but she also really likes hot cheetos.

Lo'ak threw up in the car once after eating a fuck ton of hot cheetos, and now he can't even look at them without getting nauseous. It's half the reason Kiri likes hot cheetos. In retaliation, he likes those absolutely disgusting beef jerky sticks, because Kiri is a vegetarian and the smell makes her loose her hot cheeto appetite.

Spider is regular and doesn't base his favorites around the hatred of his siblings. He just also likes takis, but has to compete with Neteyam subtly by only eating the blue heat ones. Neteyam is weak for liking the regular ones better.

Tuk likes almost all junk food, but she is particularly fond of marshmallows burnt to an almost inedible crisp. Lo'ak makes them best.

Mo'at and Sylwanin think Neytiri is not fully appreciating the fun that is junk food. This is a battle Sylwanin fights daily, as Tsu'tey is also a raisin man. He and Neytiri could hold seminars on the destructive junk food industry. That being said, he prefers a dried mango strip to raisins any day. Dried apricots? He goes crazy. His guilty pleasure is definitely the occasional sugary cocktail though. Jake, Tsu'tey, and Eytukan could DEMOLISH some boxed wine, they could get absolutely smashed on only Sex on the Beaches. Margaritas, Dirty Shirleys, Sangria, any super colorful ladies drink: that is their shit. If it has little squares of fruit and a tiny umbrella in it, the night is going sideways.

Mo'at is partial to those little chocolate nut clusters, you know the ones. Those really delicious ones. She also is one of those grandmas with bowls full of candy all over the house, and is constantly popping tictacs.

Sylwanin (who prefers a strong whiskey, or maybe a shot of fireball, to a sugary cocktail) enjoys sour patch kids. She is more of a sour person than a sweet one. Jake has said this before, and she tipped him from his chair into the pool. Neytiri didn't speak to her for the rest of the day because he could've not been ready and been hurt, but Jake laughed so hard pool water came out his nose.

Eytukan likes those little chocolate peppermint candies, the Andes ones. He has the best taste of all, I'm telling you.

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xxcatzladyxx · 4 months

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Demon Slayer | Day 13 | Kyojuro x Reader | Baked apple

Written by @lupina36

~~~

"I'm hungry!"

This loud exclamation from your husband made you look up from your reading. "Huh?" was your less witty reply.

"I'm hungry!" Kyojuro repeated, his stomach starting to growl loudly as if on cue. You let out a soft sigh. This was really a very inappropriate moment. Normally you enjoyed preparing food for your husband. Because even though the pillar of flame ate huge amounts every time, it still made you happy. Not just because he shouted "Umai!" with every bite, but also because you knew how much he appreciated your cooking.

In the past, he had often gone out to eat in restaurants, but since you two were married, this had rarely been the case. In fact, you had once heard from Mitsuri that Kyojuro had pulled himself together and refused to go to a restaurant despite his appetite because he knew that you were waiting for him at home with the food that you had cooked for him with so much love as always. Although he could have managed both, he wanted to wait until he was back at your home and could enjoy your food.

That had really touched you back then and since then you had enjoyed cooking for him even more than before.

But as nice and good as it all was, the whole thing had one major drawback. Namely the amount of food your loving husband devoured on a daily basis. From a financial point of view, it wasn't a problem at all. As a pillar, Kyojuro earned enough to be able to eat out at the best restaurants every day. The problem was rather that you had to go into town every time to do the shopping, only to return with food for a small army that your husband would destroy in no time anyway.

Fortunately, a few of the lower ranks of the Demon Slayer corps were willing to give you a hand with the shopping, even if you felt guilty every time you took advantage of their willingness to help.

As far as shopping was concerned, you hadn't gotten around to it yet due to the heavy snowfall of the last few days.

To your horror, there was a yawning emptiness in your pantry. All you could find was a big sack of apples. What were you supposed to do with them? You had no ingredients in the house for an apple pie. Apart from the apples, all you had left were a few peeled almonds, a packet of raisins and some honey. Basically everything that was left over from baking cookies, but unfortunately that didn't help you much either.

Until you literally had an epiphany!

"Tell me, darling, have you ever eaten baked apples?" you asked your husband. "No, but it sounds delicious! How do you make them?" he asked curiously. You couldn't help but giggle softly. Kyojuro was always open to new things, that was one of the things you loved so much about him.

"Follow me into the kitchen, sir!" you shouted cheerfully and marched ahead at a brisk pace. Laughing, he followed you. Once in the kitchen, you took a casserole dish out of the cupboard and started to preheat the oven before turning to your husband. "First we need to wash the apples, then we need to remove the core in the middle. But please make sure that at least 1 cm is left at the bottom, otherwise the filling could leak out," you explained.

While your husband dutifully followed your instructions, you started chopping the almonds and mixing them with the raisins.

When the apples were ready, you put them in the baking dish and filled them with the nut and raisin mixture. Then pour the honey and some cinnamon over the whole thing. Finally, everything went into the oven for 20-30 minutes.

You even managed to prepare a small bowl of vanilla sauce, which you had found somewhere in the depths of your pantry, while the apples were roasting in the oven.

"UMAI!"

This loud exclamation from your husband brought a broad smile to your face. At first, you weren't sure whether your apples would taste good, after all, you had more or less cobbled them together from leftover baking ingredients. But your husband's reaction made your doubts literally blow away in the wind.

What's more, the whole house now smelled deliciously of baked apples. The smell would certainly have attracted the other members of the Rengoku family, but that evening you and Kyojuro were all alone at the Rengoku estate. His father was on his way to have a night out with some old friends in the nearest pub and would probably not be back until the early hours of the morning, and Senjuro was staying with Tanjiro at the Butterfly Estate tonight.

You had been convinced that it would do the boy good to get out of the house and spend the night with friends, so you had sent him off to the butterfly estate with a short message to Shinobu.

Kyojuro now made a visibly satisfied impression.

"Did you like it, my darling?" you asked, even though you already knew the answer. "Yes, it was very tasty! We can do this more often!" "But we'll need more apples," you said with a smile as you mentally added apples to your morning shopping list.

"Man, that was a real treat! Would you like to enjoy a little now?" Kyojuro suddenly asked, whereupon you just looked at him in confusion. You had no idea what he meant. Kyojuro gave you the answer the very next moment when he leaned down and gave you a passionate kiss on the lips.

You hadn't expected that. You were completely alone tonight and could do whatever you wanted, but you hadn't thought about that. Nevertheless, you were anything but averse to the idea. Moaning, you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him a little closer to you while your tongues battled hotly with each other. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through your neck. "Ouch," you whimpered softly, whereupon Kyojuro immediately detached himself from you and looked at you with concern.

"What happened?" he asked, startled.

"Honey, you're too big!" you complained to him in response as you rubbed your aching neck. This had often been a problem when you had kissed. At just over 1.50 cm tall, you were one of the shorter women, but your husband, on the other hand, was clearly taller than the average Japanese man at just over 1.78 cm. This had never bothered you, but during a longer make-out session between the two of you, it often caused you neck pain, which was less pleasant.

You were still rubbing your aching neck while pouting slightly at him from below, thankful that he wasn't a giant like the pillar of sound Tengen Uzui. You didn't want to imagine the pain his three wives must have felt in their necks.

A sudden laugh from Kyojuro drew your attention back to your husband.

"If it's nothing else," he said, still laughing, and the very next moment he had grabbed you by the hips and unceremoniously deposited your butt on the smooth surface of the kitchen table. Now you were at eye level with him.

Kyojuro didn't hesitate for long and captured your lips again. You wrapped your arms around his neck again, but this time you didn't feel like a drowning woman clinging to a life buoy. Your new position also allowed Kyojuro to stand right between your thighs while your tongues performed a hot-blooded dance with each other.

The slight friction of his uniform trousers against your panties made the excitement in you grow even faster.

"I want you," you heard Kyojuro gasp against your lips before he began to maltreat your neck with fiery kisses. "Right here?" you asked, a little startled, as he started to push you back against the tabletop before bending over you.

"Why not? I've always wanted to do that, but I couldn't as long as my father and Senjuro were there," he laughed, scratching the back of his head nervously. You were blushing like a tomato by now. You had sometimes fantasized about it, but never dared to bring it up. It had been too embarrassing for you.

"But if you don't want to, we can go to the bedroom........"

He didn't get any further as you pulled him down to you again for a passionate kiss while you slowly began to undo the buttons of his uniform. Kyojuro immediately understood what you were trying to say and returned your kiss with the same fiery passion as before.

It turned out to be a very pleasant, passionate and also rather loud night that would certainly be remembered not only by the two of you but also by your dear neighbors for a long time to come.

#reader #demon slayer #x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kny x reader #kny #advent calendar #kny kyojuro #kyojuro #kyojuro rengoku x reader #kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro x reader #demon slayer kyojuro #kny rengoku #rengoku x reader #demon slayer rengoku #rengoku kyōjurō

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canonicallysoulmates · 4 months

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J2 Hawaii Con Main Panel 2023

What was Jensen’s experience voicing the Red Hood? And when will we see him on the big screen?

That was his first big voiceover gig and it was great because then it got him the opportunity to play another character in that world so he loved that experience and he’s continuing to do stuff like that just as Batman instead. And he’s ready and waiting for somebody to give him an opportuniy like that on the big screen. x

What is their favorite food that they ate on scene? And what is their favorite food to eat behind the scenes?

Jensen says it would be so much easier to name the least favorite.

Jared says they were literally watching outtakes in the green room before this panel but in the s15 ep with Mrs. Butters the scene where Sam gets cake for his birthday, Jared was training for a marathon and he was hungry all the time so there was like 3-4 leftover cakes and he took every one of them home, and the scene with Dean and Amara in the bakery there was a bunch of real stuff in the case and he was like 'I’m taking that home' about a bunch of different things so he would take food home all the time.

Jensen asks Jared if there was anything from catering or craft services he would almost eat daily and I love it because before Jared can fully give his answer Jensen is saying the katsu chicken, and because it was Jared’s favorite they all had to have it once a week too.

Jensen mentions a trail mix craft services had that he would eat so much off, and then one day Maisie went up to him as he was having a handful and asked him if he knew what the raisins, peanuts, and almonds were and he was confused until she told him they’re just obstacles keeping him from the m&ms.

So that was something off camera he would eat almost every day, on camera Dean ate a lot of crap. The worst was the turducken, he was forced to eat so much of it, it got to the point where he would eat- he would take a bite and because it was so in character would take a bite at the beginning of a scene, now they know that’s a rookie mistake, you take a bite at the end of a scene so when they yell cut you can spit it out into the spit bucket and you don’t have to swallow but his dumbass was constantly eating throughout a whole scene so he got really good at taking a bite in the first take and then shadow biting in the second. Jared says Jensen would even do this when the coverage was on him so the cameras would be over his shoulder and yet he'd see Jensen grab the food and eat but he'd just be fake eating. His favorite to eat were the taquitos they were so good but they never got to have them again because they were store-bought and the grocery store that sold them went out of business. x

Next is not a question it's a fan telling them a dad joke x

What is an item on their bucket list?

Jensen doesn’t have a bucket list. Jared has one item and it’s to make Jensen create a bucket list. x

Would Jensen ever consider doing the Masked Singer?

No. He’s only seen a few of those early on and he’s seen promotions of it, and the costumes look very uncomfortable, and the singing has to be prerecorded so you’re just dancing around in a furby outfit. Jared asks him if he would do it? And Jensen replies that not on TV. x

When the SPN reboot comes around, is Jesus going to be a part of it?

Jensen points towards Jared and says he already is, and then gives him a little pat on the knee and it quickly goes from cute to hilarious because Jared stretches his arms out like on the cross 😂

Jensen doesn’t know but maybe, hopefully, we’ll see. x

What is one of their most memorable times where they tried to impress their wife?

Jared replies that he likes to lead with his worst qualities so he thinks the majority of the first year and a half of his relationship with G was probably all failures because he was like 'listen i'm gonna fart, and not shower, and not take good care of myself but if you can deal with that the rest is actually decent'.

......and they say romance is dead.

Jensen says he’s been trying to impress D since he met her and he doesn't think he's done it yet but he desires to keep trying. x

Are they still interested in re-doing Lonesome Dove together? Or is there some other project they want to star in together?

Jared would love to he thinks it'd be an awesome idea. And actually, the key makeup artist on Walker won an Emmy award for makeup on Lonesome Dove. Hell yes, he’d love to.

Jensen says it would be fun to do something as brothers again whether it’s Lonesome Dove or SPN. x

Was there something they were looking forward to watching or something that surprised them that they watched while they weren't working?

Jensen didn’t watch anything, three kids under the age of ten is consuming.

Jared watched Top Gun Maverick which was awesome. Beyond that Coco Melon.

Jensen says he's seen so much Bluey, he almost had to go as Bandit for Halloween until his daughter decided she didn't wanna go as Bluey she wanted to go as Black Cat. He does say that D watches Gilded Age and he proxy has watched it and gotten into it but it’s a soap opera. He also watched all of Gen V cause he was curious to see how bad he looked so he watched his scene but ended up watching the whole episode then wanted to see everything so he went back and started from the beginning, and called Kripke to ask how many hit shows one man needs. x

What is something they took for granted while they were on SPN and didn't realize?

Jared's honest answer is he thinks he took for granted the city of Vancouver. He and Jensen did a really good job in the last 2 or 3 years off if they had a late call or night shooting at 6pm they’d sneak off to ski or go for a bike ride or something but often they were just working and he didn't have an excuse G, D and the kids weren’t in Van most of the time they were at home watching them taking them to school and stuff but he doesn’t think he took enough advantage he thinks he kept waiting for life to happen to him instead of realizing it was already happening.

Jensen says the set atmosphere. It really became what it was organically, it naturally established a really fun, welcoming culture on set that as guest stars would go on they would comment on it and say it was the best place to work. And they’d think that’s cool never really thinking it was by design but now they both know how precious that is and understand that in order to achieve that you have to put in a certain kind of work, they were doing that work unknowingly by being themselves and treating everybody as equal. He takes that knowledge now when stepping into other sets and he's very hyper-aware of the culture of those sets and he does everything he can to make it a welcoming, fun, entertaining space to create. x

Do they remember their first concert experience and who was it they went to see?

Jared doesn’t remember which one was first but in San Antonio, he saw En Vogue open for Vanilla Ice. And, his mom took him to the TMNT concert as a Christmas gift.

Jensen’s first concert was with his mom and his aunt, it was when he was 6. The Michael Jackson thriller tour and he was terrified because of the lights and the costumes and the roar of the crowd he had never been in a crowd that big and then he came out and blew the roof of the place. And then first concert on his own was Van Halen. x

How do they prevent burnout?

Jared says they burn out all the time and then they have moments like this with the fans where they remember why they like to stay lit. Jokes aside he thinks they do burnout, he knows he does, not a lot but he gets exhausted and he thinks Sam and Dean did as well he thinks all the characters that they’ve played have then you kind of remember why you keep fighting, why you get back up, you get a little help from your friends and you kind of fake it till you make it and then you're back on track. It gets hard for sure but ideally, the good they've been a part of and the families they’ve built and been invited to be a part of certainly give him energy, and motive him.

Jensen says they also started doing this at an early age where they conditioned themselves to work this hard, the strike and the pandemic were pretty bad for them they don’t know how to turn it off or shut it down because they’ve been doing for so long it’s how they’re wired so it’s like Jared says yeah, they burned out on occasion but also know that this is what fuels them so it's easy to recover and jump back in the pool when they love it and have been doing it this long. And they have people that inspire them and give them energy to keep going through the moments of exhaustion. x

What was their very first acting role in school?

For Jensen, he did drama class cause he had to pick an art elective and his first big High School production was Cyrano de Bergerac. He played Christian the character that needs Cyrano to speak for him to win over Roxane. But he was maybe a junior or freshman then in his senior year he did West Side Story.

Jared’s first legit role he can recall doing was Mercutio, he doesn't think anybody would sit through it, there was also a play called Candida but he doesn’t really recall the first one. It was all stuff that high schoolers don’t really grasp yet but it got him curious. x

Do they have a passion or a topic that they could confidently teach a one-hour class on?

No. But Jensen does think they could both fill 60min on set etiquette. Not just how to act or the art of filmmaking but what the different departments do and why and the craft that goes into a day on set. x

Do they have any plans for their canceled shows?

Jared says it was obviously not their choice for the shows to not come back and they’re gonna find out what their industry is gonna look like in the next couple of months. He'd love for them to come back but he doesn’t know what the world is gonna look in terms of content like 3yrs from now.

Jensen says the shows weren’t on air for long enough for them to generate a worth for them to be taken and shopped around it’s an unfortunate by-product of the industry, people move pretty fast and when things get shelved or cleared off the table everybody is moving on so it’s hard to resurrect things that there's not a want or need for it to be brought back. That unfortunately the shows didn't have enough time to root themselves and find their legs, and it was really unfortunate timing because both shows were great. But their industry is in such a transition period right now crazy things are happening all over the place. He and Jared were very fortunate to do what they did when they did because SPN survived some rough waters but he doesn't know if the show would have made it through something like this, and Jared takes it one step further and says if last year had been the first season of SPN they'd have gotten axed. x

What's their most memorable photo op?

Jared says they've had some funny requests at times.

Jensen says there was a line they used to have, he doesn't know where it went or when it was removed but he does remember at one point MC looked at him and went 'it's come to this'.

Jared shares a story about a photo op they had with Krista, and she wanted to do a funny mid-action pose like a bodyguard diving and she could have just posed but instead, she did a full-on dive across several times.

Jensen says that a funny thing though that he'll get asked to do rock, paper, scissors a lot and it's not a video just pick one of the three, he's always gonna do scissors because that's what Dean did and it's what he's married to at this point so if you want to beat him do rock, and if you wanna let him win do paper, or just don't do anything, you don't have to it's a picture. x

J2 Main Panel Hawaii Con '23

#j2 tinhat #i've been working on editing these since saturday so we're going to ignore what the clock says and pretend it's still saturday #honestly the fact i did these four panel posts at all is a miracle #i seriously considered pushing these back until even after the new year #mine #anti jared x genevieve

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leclerced · 3 months

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do u guys eat breakfast everyday and if so what do u eat? ive been eating cinnamon raisin bagels w strawberry cream cheese daily for months

#my thoughts

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justforbooks · 18 days

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So what are hot cross bun scroll scones? Simple, scrumptious and awfully good. With all your favourite hot cross bun flavours rolled into one, these sweet scones are perfect for Easter brunch or afternoon tea. They come with a silky sweet vanilla cream drizzle.

The scone crumb is feathery light with a buttered fruit filling. To mimic the flavours of hot cross buns, I’ve used sultanas, raisins, orange peel and pecans. If you’re not partial to dried fruit, feel free to replace it with something you do love, like fresh apple pieces or chocolate chips. Lashings of Nutella and orange zest are rather fabulous too. As far as eating scones, the same day rule applies. They’re at their best eaten warm from the oven. Usually, I’ll serve them on Easter morning with steaming pots of tea and frothy coffees.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

#just for books

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detonatorbaby · 8 months

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hey fun fact: if your dog eats something they really shouldn’t (compost, rodenticide or insecticide, chocolate, raisins or grapes, onions or garlic, anything with xylitol, coffee grounds, corn cobs, pieces of toys, string, etc) yes you can induce vomiting with hydrogen peroxide but please make sure you are giving the proper amount and then call the aspca poison control hotline! hydrogen peroxide can cause irritation of the esophagus and it is not ideal, obviously in emergency situations where you may not be able to make it to a vet soon enough it may be your only option.

and so u know what to expect: when u get to the vet hospital they may administer apomorphine to make your dog vomit and then afterwards an antiemetic to prevent nausea and vomiting. apomorphine is usually only effective if your pet has eaten the material within four hours (but i have seen it work on a dog who ate chocolate 6+ hours before the drug was administered). for toxic materials if it’s been long enough and your pet has partially digested the materials hospitalization may be recommended, or at least blood work being rechecked daily for a few days. for materials that may cause blockages, like corn cobs or pieces of toys, depending on the size of your dog and the size of the object you may be told to monitor at home. if necessary an endoscopy or a surgical procedure to remove the foreign material will be recommended. please don’t take your dog eating foreign material lightly, it can be very serious, i have seen dogs die because the foreign body inside of them went unremoved for prolonged periods of time. the sooner you get it out, the better for your dogs health (and the better for your bank account).

p.s. if your dog eats a battery or something sharp and piercing like a needle or wooden skewer, please DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING take them to the vet immediately

#i’d like to say peroxide is really not ideal but obviously. vet care is expensive #a trip to my work to induce vomiting on your dog costs about $300 minimum #i am not a vet tech But i worked in the emergency and critical care dept of a vet hospital for over a yr as a tech assistant #(basically vet equivalent of a cna)#and this is all based on the things i have learned and the things i have seen working there #vet med #veterinary #vetblr #dogs #dogs of tumblr #moi

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clonememesfrikyeah · 1 year

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A list of things Hardcase has said as a trooper with seniority:

The 501st runs on ORANGE FORCE!

No running in the hanger bay only sprinting

ARISE MY SON, RAAAHHHHH!

When you- you- you- when you- when- when- wheeen- hhuuhnhu.

*scuttling around like a spider* skeet skirt mother fuckers

HUZZAH!

Veloci-fuck off i gotta take a shit

You know who else’s C equals 8? Not mine, that’s for sure. I cant do math.

*old man smoker voice* God damn it my eye! What the fuuuuuck! When I see captain Rex I’m gonna have a little talk with him about you!

Get off my back old man.

If I get struck by lightning and start speaking backwards in Portuguese again I swear-.

Kix said I’m not allowed within a 30 radius or marbles, pennies, antique sculptures, cursed artifacts, expensive items, whirlpools and VHS players. Sorry, we can’t hang out today:/

WHO SHIT MY PANTS?!

My frontal lobe is unhappy with you

Imagine needing hair-.

I’ll be back, I gotta go take my government mandated twice daily dump

*over coms* We need Hot Dogs to the Hot Dog stand at the Hot Dog cart on the Hot Dog floor on the Hot Dog level at Hot Dog land asap over

Has anyone seen my hairbrush?

If your a hoe and you know it clap your ass-

I’m judging you for that rum raisin ice cream

We may have sent this one a little bit too fucking far, but it was funny.

WHOEVER IS CROP DUSTING THIS HANGER NEED TO GO SEE A DOCTOR FOR THAT NUCLEAR LEVEL DUSE YOU GOTTA DROP GOD DAMN LAY OFF THE DORITOS AND EAT A SALAD ONE IN A WHILE MAN! (It was absolutely him)

Me. You. Denny’s parking lot. 2am. We beef like 2 raccoons fighting over a scallop. You feeling me bruh?

*over ships speakers* We got someone with an allergy at the Hot Dog stand, their allergic to hots and dogs, over.

Your dead to me, now give my my butane torch and can of cooking spray back or so help me-

We don’t talk about Bruno, OR the munitions incident of ‘09.

It’s always; where’s the nearest fire extinguisher, but never how is the nearest fire extinguisher.

Nothing 22 shots of tequila and a good old fashioned cheeseburger can’t fix.

QUICK THE FLOOR IS LAVA

What do I look like a lobster ventriloquist?

Under sir is everything control-.

I will not be ceasing or desisting thank you very much.

We don’t need a radio to sight the ship, just polish up Jesse’s head till it’s shiny like a mirror and we’ll signal them the old fashioned way.

When I was little I was dropped in my head by a droid and it made me go cross eyed.

#hardcase #clone trooper #tcw #the clone wars #Star Wars #incorrect clone wars quotes #the prequels #arc trooper #clones #the clones #the 501st legion #my post #clone wars

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thediaryofa20somethinggirl · 12 days

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week one

week one of i don't even know. i just want to write.

the week started with a two-day fast; a cleansing of my stomach as i thought she was swollen. my binge eating disorder is slowly taking more and more control over me; before bed snacks of oatmeal and dried tart cherries, empanadas, eggs with hot sauce, and multiple oatmeal raisin cookies. i then wake up with a stomach almost triple its normal size. to make me feel better i pretend im pregnant. i give her a name, and i tell myself to be strong for her. i then kill her with three laxatives, three digestive enzymes, and three pills of apple cider vinegar - making my stomach feel cold, shitting her out the next day. i told myself that monday would be the last binge. i relapsed both thursday and friday this week. we will try again tomorrow, saturday, and i will win and loose weight and regain control. guilt and regret isn't productive. im too focused on getting better, to spend an unreasobale amount of time umination on how much of a shit person i am. its the only option. tomorrow starts the goal of daily exersize, besides being at work. i am delaring my success now.

family came to visit this week, from Monday morning to Thursday morning. family i havent seen in almost 4 years. family i haven't talked to in 5. family that my mom resented, even till the day she died. i wonder if those feeling have changed.

one thing my mom taught me, was that change is work but growing is work too. if you want to grow with someone, and make something out of the relationship you have with eachother, you need to not only be able to be vulerable and talk about hard and uncomfotable things. you have to be willing to change: for yourself ALWAYS for yourself, grow for others, change for you. i need to change for myself, be more vulerable with myself, and work through hard things - not numb myself with drugs and sex. not distract myself with work. no more waiting for tomorrow. i’m changing today, im changed right now and i am going to act as if i already have. oprah taught me that life is filled with good and bad. the two can't exist without eachother. the perfect pair, the most effortless way of being perfect pair.

i’m realizing that this is life; periods of good and bad. maybe this is just that bad part, the part that is needed to give me perspective understanding. as much as dealing with what i’m dealing with has been extremely isolating and exhausting, it’s offered me perspective, depth. i know things that people who’d through hard things only know. i wake up with a different sense of awareness and go to bed that much more full. im holding onto the idea that the good part will be coming later, hopefully soon. i’m the one who decided what’s next.

that’s what’s stressed me out the most this week; thinking about what’s next. i need my mom; not only to help me get over her passing, but to help guide me. to give a sense of belief in myself. selfishly, if i needed a boost of ego, i could ask stupid questions and fish my mom. most of the time i just have to stalk her facebook to remember who the fuck i am. also reminder that i’m HER daughter, and that is more worth than i need. i taking pleasure in the study of how similar our faces resemble our blood relation. looking at photos of her at my age now, making me giddy at the naive thought of us being twins. hoping that this innate obsession of our mother daughter friendship warrants our existence in our past lives, with promise for reunion in the next one. oh, please wait for me!

i keep picturing myself, interviewing with Oprah talking about the hit release of my first-ever book; the motivations behind it, and hopes for the future. how i create my art for me and only, being completely selfish with it. however, throughout this interview, i have no idea what the book it is that i wrote. that’s my goal; to write a book. but i have to start with the idea. let’s make that the goal for next week.

the more you lead with love the more love will follow.

the mantra of the week, the thing i keep telling myself to overcome any anger i have toward anyone - to be at peace with maybe just meeting you at wherever the fuck your at - and not taking anything personal. protecting my peace and not giving u the power of my anger.

however, i avoided my family as they visited; refusing to cause confrontation as my filter is broken and needs constant fixing, charging. and since my mom died - that filter has been gathering dust in the corner. i simply don't give a fuck. and i felt that in my bones, the pure social sphere of having a stranger in my house only 3 weeks after my mother died, loosens my tounge and hungers my asshole to begin to eat my underwear. acting on emotion rather than logic, and avoidance is my way of still digesting these angry and tense emotions. fiercely defending till the end. i dont fuck with sweeping things underneath the rug.

so how did i stay away, and avoid? i spent my time working, and when i wasn't working i was attempting english homework, that i have still yet to finish. Saturday, i keep telling myself, Saturday is when I finish. i'll keep you updated. since i haven't finished, i was procrastiating my time, putting it elsewere; filling three hefty trash bags full of colored clothing - only to be replaced will an all black wardrobe with few white, grey and navy accents. i want to feel chic again. i want to feel myself again. i wonder what i'll wear tomorrow.

i spent my day off deep cleaning, and getting my eyebrows done which also are installing small pulses of i don’t give ANY fucks energy throughout my face and walk. my eyebrows are bushy but clean, and i am unstoppable.

today at work, i decided to wear an oversized dad sweater, that houses a mid-size picture of a beautiful garden; greenery with accents of white birdhouses and benches as characters in the scene. it made me feel a sense of humidity, a strange feeling which motivated me to support the 99c purchase. the oversized dad sweater that housed a photo of a humid garden accessorised with two nods of praise; one from a boy who i can only describe as the purest man of florida; small calfs followed by the thunderous suprise of thick thighs - a solid lap to sit on. his legs were dressed with mid thigh athetic shorts, making his thighs appear hairless and even more thick than expected. because of small his calfs looked. he wore a plan black t shirt, allowing his pecks to make an indentation to were the shirt falls. his feet were exposed - something common in florida, something every proud floridian embraces; the ability to be walking almost barefoot. something that i rarely do, almost never, even at the beach - as my feet may not be ugly but crave the dressing of an 80's chucky socks followed by a chunky sneaker. his feet were dressed in a clean, almost new looking of black unrecogonizable sldies. clean enough to be expesniive looking, but plain enough to be bought at the dollar store. a physical representation of things that cost money don't always mean they are better. "sometimes things that are expsive are worse." his toes were clean however, inspected for judgement rather than enjoyment, giving the impression that he puts effort into his heigne; a signal to flirt.

when he made his way to the cash register, i didn't allow the anxiety of his attractivesness show; keeping my voice calm not letting myself rush, embracing the akward silence of the slow register in the store, and no desire to talk. we locked eyes multiple times; him showcasing to me piercing blue eyes that look even more piercing, on the backslash of his sunkissed skin - another florida staple. almost like makeup. a handsome face, a manly face, i thought. the only thing that i didn't get to perceive was his hair - mainly as it was covered with a black bass pro baseball cap. something that reminded me of my grandpa; large and flat brimmed. i couldn't tell if his compliment was a sign of flirting or just being nice. maybe he just wanted to fill the silence of my lackluster desire for conversation. maybe he just said it to say it. i will never know, and i have to move the fuck on.

the second compliment also came at the cash register; this time from a girl. flirting with girls is something, i really never do. i tend to get more intimidated in the sense of my questioning if a woman could ever be attracted to a girl like me. i don't and didn't allow that thought to win this time, especially coming off of florida mans encounter.

shes a regular, seeing her only days before. her style consdiently mirrored that her florida man co star; housing her body in all black, giving emphasis of her silver butterfly knecklace that rests perfectly in the center of her chest - making me think of my tattoo. making me feel warm in my cheeks, and itchy in my toes.

her smile was clean, something i could suck on and feel refreshed; a crystal clean glass of iceless cool water. eye contact lingered, and i couldn't tell if she was flirty. the words ill see ya next time are now an obsession; playing on repated for the whole night, even now as I type the reencounter of our meeting.

that was the most interesting thing that happened at work today. that and we almost caught a woman stealing; a young white woman with a puppy named Chanel and a doggy stroller. her face reminded me of Amanda Bines, in the snese that it was the canvas for a small heart tattoo that also sits under the left eye. she was nice to me, especally as i tried to help her finds books. i could tell she was trying to steal, which made me second guess the genuineness of our conversation; trying to take advantage of the fact that i am nice. i really gave her the benefit of the doubt, until she lost her wallet last minute; leaving $350 worth of business and self help books on hold for tomorrow at 11am. my shift starts at that time. ill let you know if i see her again. i really hope to.

well that’s it for this week, for now. my goals? get my homework in and be caught up. go a whole week without cutting myself. to go a whole week without binge eating.

mattea

#diary #dear diary

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female-malice · 10 months

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hi! i saw ur post about not eating sugar and was wondering what a typical day of eating looks like for you without any sugar? (if you're comfortable sharing, of course)

I just cut out added sugars. I still eat fruits and grains and stuff that has sugars naturally in them.

I am also a person with a sweet tooth. I like desserts. But I also like problem solving and making things and experimenting with recipes.

I'm not eating splenda or honey or agave syrup or anything like that. That's added sugar according to me.

So instead of adding sugar to things, I just eat raisins. SO MANY RAISINS. I made raisin rice the other day which was very good. It's almost like a dessert. Sort of. Also oatmeal with raisins and peanut butter is good every time.

The other day I made fried bananas for dessert. The recipe for the batter has sugar in it. But I just figured bananas are sweet enough so I cut the sugar out of the recipe.

Mango is an easy dessert that I love. There's also cotton candy grapes. And pomegranate. I've researched all the sweetest fruits lol.

I'm a chocolate lover. And I still eat chocolate sometimes! I make what I call "almost hot chocolate." It's one teaspoon of plain unsweetened cocoa powder whisked into a mug of hot milk. And then maybe add some cinnamon or nutmeg or something like that. And no added sugar. It's not bitter at all! It's a very soothing warm drink.

Almost all cereal is packed with sugar. But I found some generic rice puffs with zero sugar added. They're pretty good with fruit! I eat a lot of plain yogurt with fruit. But I get whole fat yogurt to make it rich and tasty. I also put a LOT of butter on my toast. Do you see where I'm going with this? For my "desserts" and "treats" I just replace added sugar with added fat!

Almost every single American grocery product has sugar added. Even savory things like breads, cereals, and crackers. You really have to check labels. So I'll let myself get something with just 1g added sugar if I can't find anything with no added sugar. There's a kind of cracker I like with 1g added sugar. And there's cinnamon raisin english muffins. Those cinnamon raisin english muffins are AMAZING! And they only have 1g added sugar.

Cutting added sugar out of my diet was actually way easier than I thought it'd be. I did it gradually and not in a rigid or disordered way. It was a process of gradually changing food habits and learning a new eating pattern.

Without a large daily sugar intake, I'm hungry all the time! My stomach literally vacuums up all the fruits and vegetables and bread I buy. I eat SO much bread now. And I get so many new cravings all the time. I can't satisfy cravings with sugar so I have to think "okay what else can I do?" That's why I started putting raisins in rice and frying bananas lol. I think cravings are important. And a diet with a high amount of added sugar can mess with how you respond to cravings.

Also, like I mentioned in a previous post, I feel less groggy and foggy.

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moonlit-trolls · 1 year

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So, what exactly do you do for a living, Mousie?

[Docs for your sake]

—Hello I am Janett with The Empress’ Daily. We interrupt your normal daily broadcast to cover the most recent news that happened. We find ourselves in the scene of one of the largest bank robberies in the history of the north-west side of alternia. There was a bomb threat sent out to the Local Bank Seventy miles from here and the fleet were on high alert at the location of the bomb threat, Location was evacuated and all they ended up finding was a Briefcase with a Confetti and Glitter Bomb Inside, That had a decorative Cheese wheel as well as the word “Mouse’s got your tongue” with what seems to be an online communications Emoticon of someone Smiling.

Currently we find ourselves in the general bank of the Northern East Side of the City, Where an Explosion alerted the people inside, Furthermore it seems like it was not an actual explosion but a sound coming from a machine able to do an extremely loud Booming sound without any actual damages. The Scene of the crime Appears to have been destroyed by a Construction Grade Wrecking ball. For the damage to the bank’s Vault and Side wall can be related to similar attacks of Property By Wayward Drones. The Bank’s Vault door is Inoperable if you do not have the Bio-metric scanners corrected, but it seems that the lock and main entrance was melted by what authorities affirm was extremely Rusted metal combined with black gunpowder. To create the Thermite Chemical Reaction. The metal oxidized within seconds and the Rusted Iron was melted with a flame ranging 1400°-1900° Celsius. It seems as if it was a Soldering torch that did the job. No suspects have been seen, but the same Internet Communications Emoticon has been sighted inside with the same Decorative block of Cheese with the words “Mouse Is Out of The House” written on the wall—

Click The television makes a sound as it goes off, You are slouched over the reclining chair in bad need of Repairs eating mozzarella sticks straight out of the bag,You can see and hear your Nannybot with the blues painted Black, humming a mechanical song that doesn’t sound natural, Sounds scripted

—C’mon MayMay, Cut the song and dance. Play some real music— Your voice echoes on the run down hive As the nannybot does as she is asked. Her audio system makes a noise as it adjusts and begins playing something more your style, The strumming of a badly tuned guitar, the off-beat bass and drums, Everything sounded Perfect As the band yelled their name for the nonexistent stage “WE ARE THE THREE MOUSEKETEERS!” Your voice was the one that boomed out. Alongside it the Fond memories of the band also came to mind.

Personally you are proud of the job, Maeyie had already counted the bills to a perfect $200,000 Duffle bags as well as suitcases held it all under the floorboards you walk atop of to head to the kitchen area, Small apartment means that it’s all one singular room, not that you care. You want toast in this rainy mid-day, butter, two slices of bread into the frying pan. you believe that any bread can make pan toast, but you prefer sourdough, other people may wish for whole wheat or nuts might go for raisin bread. But you like the consistency of Sourdough, and you are not a simpleton to go with white basic bread.

–There is always a method to my madness– You thought to yourself as you ate the first bite of the first slice – I know what I am doing – You say looking out of the blinds, the police sirens finish what the music that Maeyie was playing lacked, The rhythm made sense and the lyrics tracked as the cars wooshed past your window leaving the strange neighborhood you found yourself in with dust to the roofs of buildings due to their speeds. as the sound of music is stopped you hear

—Master Bonnie, Would You Wish For Me To Make You A Proper Diner?— Her voice was sweet, something you heard not once before from someone as earnest as her… Deeply you wish she was more than a robot so you could be actual friends. But you know that behind the sweet voice and gestures, lies nothing more than ones and zeroes, and last time you spoke to numbers they called you crazy. But nonetheless you answer.

—I, yeah man, we got some leftovers, can you mix it all with manioc flour and make some canned beans?— and the machine smiled —Of course Master Bonnie!— and began with the cooking. Her arms moved faster than you cared to look, it’s almost natural how well she knows what you enjoy. She bakes you cupcakes, and brings you what you want… She has to be more than just a bot.

After leaving with notes that are not marked you come back with groceries, There is a warm plate of food on the table, a little card with a crudely drawn picture of Maeyie smiling, as well as a cup of Strawberry soda, your favorite, As you can see your nannybot Recharging on her station a bit off the wall. –Tastes good as always…– you say eating it, Manioc flour goes well with everything. lightly roasted before being added to dishes, it adds a depth of flavor and filling that no one would believe. you learned that from someone who you haven't talked to since you were basically a kid. but his teachings remain in your head. you warm the second slice of bread you toasted earlier to eat with, it never hurts to add some sourdough to a plate of rice and meat, Never hurt you at least.

— This feels familiar… — you mutter to yourself looking at the empty chair in front of the counter —Eh, Doesn’t matter— the voice that comes out of you is strained, as if you were lying more to yourself than to the ghosts that are sitting on your broken down chair as you turn the television on. and the broadcast has a random Indigo-blood in custody for the robbery of the bank.

#My Writting #Mouse Drabble #hehehehe #Does that answer your question :3c

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