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#damian is only there for the dog
nelkcats · 10 months
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Application Rejected
When Danny adopted Cujo he saw him as a puppy, which was a little sad considering the implications. He always thought Cujo was the only one who had stayed, the only one whose soul had persisted. He thought Cujo was alone.
He was wrong. Not all adult dogs and puppies stayed, of course. But many had. Cujo was simply the only one who decided to return to the world of the living, probably because of his obsession with his toy.
One day Cujo showed him where they were all hiding; Danny knew that those dogs had not stayed for the same reason as Cujo, they probably had a myriad of different reasons, and that was fine.
The problem was that excluding some of the adult dogs (that obviously were fine on their own and didn't care), there were many puppies similar to Cujo running around in need of affection and he couldn't adopt them all (besides, Cujo would definitely get jealous). And while many ghosts agreed to take a couple, it wasn't all of them, so Danny did something extreme.
He held an adoption fair in Amity, which was a smashing success. He just forgot that a lot of people in Amity...were usually traveling, and the ghost puppies would follow.
Then, a few days later when a scowling guy showed up (he obviously wasn't part of the general Amity Park population) and demanded a "bright green" puppy, Danny said no and refused his application. He couldn't trust someone with no knowledge with a ghost dog. Although he did offer him a course to learn about their care.
Damian Wayne was offended with his overall assessment. He was obviously the right person to care for one of those pups. So he set out to prove that to the boy in front of him, without hesitation.
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welcometogrouchland · 4 months
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I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#Jason Todd#batfamily#it's just a fun quirk! it's a fun lil detail and I simply cannot slight ppl for enjoying and incorporating it into works#like obviously jason isn't the only one. I'm a big believer in the batfam having over lapping interests they refuse to bond over#i know dick canonically used the robin hood stories (which are pretty flowery in their language far as i can tell) as inspo for Robin#and i know babs was a librarian and even tho her area of nerddom is characterized as more computery she probably knows quite a lot-#-about literature as well#duke is a hobbyist writer i believe? i saw a fan mention that- which if so is great and I hope he's also a nerd#(i mean he is canonically. i remember him being a puzzle nerd in his introduction. but i mean specifically a lit nerd)#damian called Shakespeare boring but also took acting classes so i think he's more of a theatre kid.#Tim's a dropout and i don't think he's ever shown distinct interest in english lit and i can't remember for Steph?#I'm ngl my brain hyperfocused on musician Steph i forget some of her other interests I'm sorry (minus softball and gymnastics!)#and then Cass had her whole (non linear but it's whatevs) arc about literacy and learning to read#went from struggling to read in batgirl 00 to memorizing Shakespeare in 'tec and is now an avid read in batgirls!#she's shown reading edgar allen poe but we don't know if it's his short stories or his poems#point to all of the above being: i know Jason's not the only lit nerd in the batfam#but also i do need him to be writing poetry in his spare time and reading and reviewing it#jason at the next dead robins society meeting: evening folks today I'll be assigning all of us poems based on laika the space dog#damian and steph who have been kidnapped and brought to jasons warehouse to hangout: LET US GO BITCH#speaking of^ random poem i think jason would like: space dog by alan shapiro#wake up one morning in an unfamiliar more mature body with a profound sense of abandonment. the last four lines. mmm tasty
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ghibli-stims · 5 months
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🦇 -> Damian Wayne (DC Comics) Stimboard !
📦 -> with comic book, puppy & pancake stims !
📬 -> rqd by me, self indulgent !
📕 -> 🎒 - 🔫 - 🎒 / 🔫 - 🔫 / 🎒 - 🔫 - 🎒
🔓 -> requests open ! rq info !
DNI -> NSFW/Kink/Bigots/Etc. I'll Block You.
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*Jason has just finished explaining an insane plan for a takedown
Dick: That is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard!
Jason: I have done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons!
Jason: So you should come with me, because if it goes right, I need a witness.
Dick: …and if it goes wrong?
Jason: If it goes wrong, I need an escape plan.
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roobylavender · 7 months
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had talia not been character assassinated do you think she and bruce should have gotten back together?
no. i hate to use the word "phase" bc that would seem to diminish the importance of what's between them, which is something that will always persist esp as their continued dedication to the same causes and their respect for each other remains. but i do think realistically bruce should be a phase in talia's life. at least in terms of consummated romances specifically. i do love the idea of them remaining allies, close friends, and co-parents, but i think allowing talia to walk away from ra's and bruce in the first place has to stand for something in the long term. before talia went her own way i think it was easier to imagine a potential future where she ended up with bruce bc it felt like the desirable option. she was in this very debilitating position where she had little to no freedom to act on her own desires and goals, the embodiment of which was none other than bruce. so when you frame her situation pre-tower of babel, obv wanting to be with bruce was appealing. he was as much the love of her life as he was a means of escape and freedom and talia having the scope to then act on her own desires. i think that's what subsequently makes dc #750 (or is it #570. i never get the numbers straight and i'm too lazy to check) a really clever issue, actually, bc it acknowledges that and the fact that bruce once again setting her free bc of his love for her actually gives her the courage to step out on her own where she never has before. the fact that she has the option to go back to gotham with bruce and presumably have everything she's ever wanted with him, but she leaves it anyway, is a really huge deal. it's a statement. she loves him, but not more than she loves herself. and sure, what talia puts herself through during lex corp era certainly begs the question of whether her version of loving herself is really viable or in any way healthy, and i would love to see bruce help her recognize that she's not alone and that she doesn't have to do it alone to prove that she's capable. all of this i agree with. but i don't think that really means she and bruce have to fall back on their once-imagined dream of playing house. even if talia did find methods of going about her work that were mentally healthier i don't really know what'd be in it for her to play house with bruce in gotham. bc that is what it would have to be, for their relationship to work in any way. bruce will never leave gotham and son of the demon didn't need to explore that issue bc it was never going to get there but trust that corny as the line about naming the baby thomas or martha was it was reflective of a reality: gotham is bruce's entire life. no matter where he goes, no matter what he does, no matter who he works with, in the end he will always belong to gotham. and i simply do not think that would ever work for talia bc there is so much more she is capable of. while her vision is aligned with bruce's her scope of access and ability is entirely distinct of his own and there is so much more that she can do aside from relegate herself to gotham (hence why lex corp as an arc makes so much sense, bc it capitalizes on that scope). and yeah every superhero couple is kinda crazy and they have teleportation and shit but idk i don't think it's really a relationship for each party to go on long missions with ill-defined parameters that give them the worst sleep schedules known to man and occasionally they share a bed. it really isn't. and that's something that bruce and talia have to live with. their duty is always going to come first even though they both have a passion for civilian life. for talia to be in a relationship again she would have to stop having the liberty of being able to go wherever the work carries her and for bruce to be in a relationship again he would have to have the equivalent of a robin-wife. neither of these things is ever going to happen. so
#outbox#i realize this sounds somewhat hypocritical bc then it's like. but what about damian! wouldn't the same apply to him!#and idk i don't think it would. your kid is different from your lover#obv i imagine talia would try to be around for damian as much as possible#but as i've discussed a lot of times even that i think would be tricky for her. she was willing to say she lost her baby#bc she thought if she didn't the world would lose batman#she's like. craaaaazy dedicated to her work so yeah i do think she'd try to coparent with whatever capacity she could#and her love would be genuine and overflowing etc etc#but at the end of the day she's not going to settle in gotham solely for the purpose of raising him#or for the purpose of appeasing bruce's notions of pathetic puppy dog romance#her liberty is too impt to her#ironically enough this is funny to talk about in context of that batman & robin panel from yesterday bc like#had they not character assassinated her that's really how it might've gone. at least imo#like it's a shame they had to resort to all of these racist and orientalist tropes about her being an abusive mother#to somehow justify why bruce should be the resident parent instead#when you literally could've just followed the thread of talia valuing her independence#versus bruce being desperate for any remaining semblance of normal civilian life like it's an oxygen tank and he's losing air#not only would that have been realistic it would also have carried nuance and allowed insight into bruce and talia's psyches#and more than anything. it would have been funny#but i DIGRESS. tldr yes talia would coparent but even that would be with certain limitations#i think she's the kind of person / mom who like. leaves her love everywhere but can't necessarily stand where she leaves it. yknow#like i could even bring jason into this#i really do think she'd do everything in her power to try to get jason to break from the red hood persona and heal etc#and she'd have immense affection for him#but she's not going to sit and play house and babysit him once she's free and once she knows he's free too#she's very big on personal accountability#so she'd check up on him and the love would be there but like. the bigger picture would always interfere#anywayyyy. thank you for the question i love to ramble about this stuff LOL
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lovenaiu · 2 years
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"Or Just master Damian collection of pets" HELLO?? THE ONLY PET FROM HERE THAT DAMIAN GOT THAT I SEE IN THE PANEL IS THE TURKEY AND ACE
MORE OF THOSE ANIMALS ARE HIS???
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So damian getting a snake is canon now
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starlooove · 5 months
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The reason recent canon batfam sucks is because they have plotlines that could be fun but utilize fanon interpretation btw. “They can’t even write tim” the tim you like DOESNT exist and has NEVER existed. He started existing and it fucked up so many pre existing INTERESTING dynamics and potential situations that it got boring as fuck. Same with literally everyone else
#characters like Damian getting the same storyline over and over is racism#but fanon Is a lot more racist than canon and I’ll say it with my chest#at least canon gave Damian friends and growth at least once#y’all are still hemming and hawing over that fucking dinosaur tim doesn’t even care about anymore#whenever anything interesting or complicated happens it’s ooc and ‘don’t writers know we want happy family dynamics 😕’#that anxiety thing Bruce did to Jason#sucks and all but far far more interesting than ANYTHING fanon has EVER come up with#canon is cool ideas done poorly and fanon is poor ideas done worse#and don’t get me wrong some fanon stuff is fun#like SUPER fun#but the idea that ‘fanon is better bc dc can’t write 🥺’#I’m never gonna defend DC writers as a whole but YALL CANT EITHER#copy pasting found family templates onto characters admitting you haven’t and never will read a comic and turning around to shit on shit#you have NEVER read#some of y’all still think dick wanted tim in Arkham or that Jason never killed unless necessary#like fuck y’all are so irritating#if fanon wasn’t so racist and even worse BORING that poll wouldn’t be so egregious like fuck#like the racism is everywhere but batfandom has deluded itself into believing it’s unique when it’s kooky but quiet dad Bruce immortal#Alfred silly big bro dick who has quiiiite the temper gaurd dog Jason who made some mistakes but regrets everything coffee addict tim who’s#only flaw is insecurity and not caring for himself enough quiet dragon lady cass who can be sassy waffle loving sillay Steph murderous#borderline evil Damian who’s life’s goal is to destroy tim and nervous new Duke.#and don’t forget Barbara Is computer girlboss#like it’s just so. bland. maybe DC doesn’t listen to you bc ur fucking stupid s
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hauntingblue · 8 months
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I hope that's zur en arr talking all this bc there is no excuse lmao
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bruciemilf · 29 days
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Every time the batkids get into legal trouble (damaged property fighting a villain, entitled old ladies being mad they didn’t get saved first, Damian sueing a classmate for proprietary rights over an OC he drew in class, the ONLY person they want to be represented by is Harvey.
Sure, TEHNICALLY he can’t practice anymore, but this is Gotham, and the law system is made of tangled wires. If you pull the right one, you’re in the clear.
The hardest plaintiff is Jason, by far. Ironically enough, he has the simplest cases.
“Okay, so, HOLD ON— I have to TELL you to get out of the way when Bane throws an ENTIRE truck your way? If you can’t dodge death, it deserves to have you, period.”
“Lady, I’m not going to save your weird ass dog/frog hybrid science experiment , — who BIT me, by the way, — over an entire bank full of PEOPLE.”
“Oh im sorry I forgot to pay for the overpriced 12 dollar latte while RUNNING FROM WILD MANEATING PLANTS. “
Harvey, pouring a violent amount of vodka in his coffee: your honor, my client just needs a nap probably
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deadsetobsessions · 4 months
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It’s been months since he’s settled into life at Wayne Manor. It’s hilarious that they don’t think he knows about their obvious nightlife (and that’s coming from someone whose hero name was just their last name spelled differently) but they don’t know anything about his own past as a vigilante. To be fair, a dimensionally displaced Ghost King wasn’t really on the board for reasonable guesses. Danny Fenton blinked innocently at Duke, blue eyes watery and oh-so-trusting of his adopted older brother when Duke claimed that his bruising came from getting caught in Ivy’s attack on the busses today.
(“Oh my god he’s so trusting and pure what the hell?” He heard Steph whisper to Dick, who nodded emphatically.)
“Oh man, you should get some rest. You guys are seriously unlucky, you know? Do you need to go to the hospital?” Danny asked Duke, his core trilling as he allowed himself to fuss over a member of his ‘fraid.
“Nah, man. I’m good. I think I’ll take a nap and sleep it off.”
“Okay. Oh, here!” Danny fumbled for his bag, grabbing his prescribed pain meds- for his chronic pain, but they don’t actually do anything for him since his ectoplasm burns away most of it- and handed it to Duke. “Take one, and only one. Those bruises look nasty.”
And then Danny gave him the puppy dog eyes and Duke folded, because Danny knew that he wasn’t supposed to hand his meds out but these situations were kind of the reason he claimed chronic pain to being with (even if it was true and his hands shook with aftershocks).
“Thanks, Danny. I feel like death warmed over.”
Danny laughed, the opportunity to mess with the family sparking in his head. “Yeah, I’ve died before. Wouldn’t recommend it.”
With that, Danny threw Duke an easy going smile and walked towards his room, bag on his back.
From his peripherals, Danny watched Jason drop his bowl of snacks, Dick’s pale face, and the concerned and shocked look of everyone else. Except Damian, who just kind of scowled thoughtfully. Tim looked like he was going to rip Danny apart like an interesting puzzle, Cass sat up straight (and he made sure every micro expression he caught on others stayed unconcerned on his own body), and Duke froze.
He snickered- well out of regular earshot- as whispers and whispered shouts rung out after he left the room.
He can’t wait to drop the “I know you’re vigilantes” bomb on them. It’ll be hilarious.
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greenglowinspooks · 6 months
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To be honest. DCxDP where the reason Danny meets the bats is Ace the Bat-hound
Like, just think about it for a second. Danny is in Gotham for college, or maybe he just moved out to find a city where having mad scientist parents isn’t actually that unusual.
He can see ghosts.
The ghosts know this.
Now he’s getting harassed left and right by spirits trying to get closure. Fine, whatever, most of them are a one-and-done type deal, and the amount of ghosts trying to get his help steadily decreases.
Except for this one very stubborn dog.
It just keeps showing up and leading him to crime scenes! He doesn’t know how many “anonymous tips” he can call in to the cops before they trace his phone! And this dog, this incredibly good boy, will not stop trying to help the city. He’s never met anyone with such a strong sense of justice, let alone a dog. Can dogs even have a moral compass?
And so Danny just accepts the fact that Ace isn’t going anywhere and becomes his reluctant sidekick/dedicated medium. He leans into the whole thing, dressing up in a mix of traditional magic-user attire and accessories that pay homage to the ghost dog.
He becomes somewhat well known. The psychopomp detective following around the shadowy figure of a German Shepard? That’s unusual! That’s weird! I mean, it’s not the weirdest thing in Gotham, sure, but he’s a new vigilante and he’s got a ghost dog that people can only see when it’s around him. Someone’s gonna notice.
Damian, as Robin, is the first to reach out to him.
Ace doesn’t know Damian but he does know a Robin, and while this isn’t his Robin, he’s still friendlier than usual. Danny’s panicking because oh god the bats are here and also is this kid gonna steal my ghost dog, Damian is absolutely delighted by Ace, and Ace is just happy to see a Robin again.
Damian decides that the psychopomp isn’t a danger to anyone, and there’s no reason to put this encounter into his reports, really, and perhaps Danny can help with some of his cases in the future.
Danny is sweating bullets because Damian basically tells him that he’ll keep him secret as long as he gets to play with Ace. Ace is happy that he’s finally getting some bat affiliated crime-fighting assistance.
And so, Danny is now both Ace AND Damian’s reluctant assistant. At least whenever he’s in trouble, he can always call a middle schooler to help him.
(Is Robin even in school? He’s out patrolling damn near every night, and he stays out late as hell. Does he have a bedtime? He should.)
Eventually it gets to the point where Damian is going over to Danny’s house. When he first sees it, he has a damn bitch you live like this moment, to which Danny responds that not everyone has the money to afford a nice place. Damian counters that he could at least take the time to clean up, and Danny replies that he’s working, going to school, and being a vigilante assistant to a ghost dog, something’s got to give.
Danny nearly has a heart attack when he checks his bank account the next day and sees that someone transferred him 10,000 dollars.
And so they get into a routine. Danny and Damian fight crime with Ace at night, and occasionally Damian stops by during the day to play with Ace and have Danny help with his homework.
(Damian is smart enough to do it on his own, but some of the instructions are written incredibly confusingly, and he would never admit to needing help to his family. Danny is just glad that the kid is in school and cares about his education, blissfully unaware that he’s basically emotionally adopted him.)
Damian is used to being in Danny’s company.
Eventually, when going over a case with the family, Damian absentmindedly remarks that he’ll have to ask Danny about some of the clues that they might be missing. Nightwing asks who he means and Damian makes a face like he just swallowed a lemon.
Cue shitstorm.
Who is “Danny?” Why is Damian willing to ask for help from anyone, much less someone outside of the family? Does he know who Damian is? Has Damian been compromised? What the hell is going on?
Damian now has to explain that Danny is the psychopomp with the ghost dog who he might have met hunted down while on patrol and conveniently not mentioned, but he’s not a bad person, really, and he lets him play with Ace, and he’s been quite helpful on certain cases due to his ability to talk to ghosts.
Bruce insists that the family meet Danny. Damian, hoping that he won’t just skip town the second he hears the news, relents.
Danny is surprisingly eager to meet the bats, considering his earlier fears.
Damian, blissfully unaware of what’s coming, sets a time and place to meet.
Once everyone is there, he gives Bruce the earful of a lifetime.
Robin is in middle school! Danny knows that there’s no way to stop the boy from going on patrol, but you could at least shift his schedule so he gets enough sleep on school nights! Does the Bat even know where he is half the time?! (No) And why isn’t he comfortable asking his family for help with both cases and homework? Did they ever even notice how much time he was spending at Danny’s house? If Danny was a bad person, he could have seriously hurt the poor boy! Shame on you!
Nightwing is mortified that Damian didn’t trust him enough to tell him about any of this. Red Hood is laughing his ass off, because yeah Danny is making good points but he’s also chewing out the literal Batman. Tim is recording the whole thing. Steph is delighted by the absolute gall of this Danger Twink™️, and already planning to add him to several groupchats. Damian is more embarrassed than he’s ever been in his entire life.
You, he points to Nightwing, did your academic life feel supported when you were a Robin? Nightwing is too stunned to speak. Red Hood, eternal shit-stirrer, says that oh, we all prioritized patrol over our education, that’s just how it is. Red Robin actually dropped out of high school to avoid distractions, did you know that?
Danny honest-to-god shrieks at this.
He finishes his angry rant and leaves, everyone too stunned to stop him.
And as it turns out, Tim wasn’t the only person recording the whole thing.
The entire internet is blowing up with Psychopomp The Danger Twink™️’s rant. People are taking sides. Things are getting messy. Red Hood literally admitting on-camera to previously being a Robin is somehow not the main focus here.
Eventually someone connects some dots from the video, as well as stories circling the internet about the psychopomp. A ghost dog named Ace, who is the literal only reason that the psychopomp is fighting crime at all, which seems incredibly fond of Nightwing and Robin.
A crime-fighting dog who wants constant attention from both the current and original Robin.
Oh my god, Ace the Bat-hound died and became a crime-fighting ghost.
And, somehow, that’s still not the strangest thing going on in Gotham.
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gay-dorito-dust · 19 days
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How’d they react to finding you sleeping anywhere but the bed…
Dick: sharing the dog bed with Hayley (fail):
At first he thought something was wrong when he didn’t hear you or Hayley greet him home and soon began to search the spy for you both.
So the moment he finds you fast asleep on Hayley’s dog bed with Hayley tucked closely into your chest, head resting underneath your chin. His heart immeditly melted and his phone was out and taking photos nearly every 0.5 seconds, only until he was forced to stop due to how much storage they took up but he didn’t regret it.
Not one bit. He even has one printed out that he kept on him to look at whenever he felt as though he needed to be reminded of how he had waiting back home for him.
You both were effortlessly cute to Dick, he couldn’t help it but feel a little left out as he then tries to join you in the dog bed, only to almost ends up capsizing the three of you and waking both you and Hayley, who began licking his face as her tail smacks you in the arm repeatedly.
‘What were you trying to do?’ You asked Dick, sitting up.
Dick pouted. ‘Join in the fun.’
‘We were sleeping in a dog bed, how’s that fun.’ You said, not bothering to add the fact that you had accidentally fell asleep on Hayley’s dog bed because you were waiting up for him but failed.
‘Fun to me is wherever you and Hayley are.’ Dick answered truthfully.
You smiled as you kissed his cheek. ‘You’re such a dork, you know that right.’ You told him.
‘Yes. And?’ He says cheekily, more than happy to be home with his little family.
Bruce: in the Batmobile:
Alfred told him where you were and that you best be moved to a more comfortable place then the passenger seat of the Batmobile.
How you got in there was a mystery to both men but what was more impressive was how you could possibly sleep against those hard rich leather seats in the first place.
Bruce couldn’t blow but let out a little chuckle when he opened the side door, just to see you with your face half pressed against the seats before jolting yourself awake.
‘Wha- I didn’t do nothing officer it was the dog.’ You said groggily as you tried to blink the sleep from your eyes as they tried to bring reality into focus.
‘Have a good nap did we?’ Bruce asks, finding some amusement in your half asleep nonsense.
‘Why, who’s asking?’ You replied.
‘Your consciousness.’ Bruce joked sarcastically. ‘Come on let’s get you to bed before you develop a-‘
‘Ow my neck.’ You groaned as you held a hand to your neck the moment you tried to move it.
‘-Crooked neck.’ Bruce sighs as he offers you a hand. ‘Come on, let’s go find Alfred so that we can alleviate you of this pain.’ You pouted as you grabbed onto his hand and letting him pull you out of the Batmobile. ‘Alfred is going to scold me isn’t he?’ You asked. ‘Yes, I’m afraid so.’ Bruce answered as he helps guide you out of the Batcave.
Alfred’s scoldings were nothing to scoff at, and Bruce would know as he’s been on the receiving end of a few before in the past. After all getting scolded by Alfred was enough to set a stubborn man straight.
‘Damn.’ You muttered.
Damian: in the barn, on top of Goliath:
He didn’t have to look far, he knew you’d be in the barn but what he wasn’t expecting was for you to be fast asleep on top of his demonic dragon bat, whom had draped a protective wing over you as though it were swaddling you in an extremely warm blanket.
He had told you about the story of how he met Goliath and took him home on more then one occasion, as it was secretly his favourite story because it helped him with his own internal struggles on who he should be, and also how his past doesn’t define him, but what he chooses to do in the future does.
So seeing you cuddled up to Goliath without an ounce of care made him smile a little to himself at the prospect of you accepting him for who he was truly, rather than believe what other people viewed him as. You stood out of the crowd rather than follow it and Damian couldn’t be more grateful for you sticking by him, even through the extremely tough times where even he thought he went too far with his outbursts towards you.
‘Tt. Idiot.’ He says affectionately as he walks further into the barn, stopping along the way to pet BatCow and Jerry the Turkey. ‘Aren’t they?’ He asks both animals who only blinked at him as they mindlessly chewed on their food. Damian hums. ‘You’re right, they may be an idiot but they’re still my idiot at the end of the day.’
Damian ends up falling asleep against BatCow’s side as Jerry the Turkey made himself comfortable on his lap.
Jason: kitchen counter:
Him and Roy have a bet on where Jason would find you asleep next.
It had happened way too often for them that they’d hates themselves forever for not making a game out of it at any point in their lives.
This time Roy betted that you’d fall asleep on the kitchen counter, whereas Jason believes you’ll fall asleep against the window sill.
So when Jason got back home late one night after patrol, he immeditly went to look for you at the window sill. Nothing. ‘Damn it Roy.’ He cursed under his breath as he then walked into the kitchen, praying that he wouldn’t have to tell his friend that he won the bet for the eighth consecutive time.
Only for you to be fast asleep on the fucking kitchen counter, just as Roy predicted you would. Jason felt as though his friend was cheating somehow because it didn’t make sense for him to have correctly predicted where you’d be found sleeping as often as he did. Unfortunately for Jason, he couldn’t back up his claim as to why he thought Roy cheated, for there wasn’t any substantial evidence to prove that Roy was cheating.
And so with a heavy heart, Jason walked over and pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling out his phone to text Roy that he has won…again, and pocketing his phone as he carried you off to your shared room. ‘I love you chipmunk but you’ve got to start sleeping in places where I’ll surefire win the bet against Roy next time okay?’ He says against your head, kissing it.
‘Okay. I’ll try.’ You murmured.
‘That’s my baby.’ Jason said as he tucked you into bed before following suit.
The next day, Roy was smirking like a Cheshire Cat as he talked about his eighth consecutive victory, whereas Jason looked about ready to strangle the next person who looked at him funny.
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evilminji · 8 months
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Okay, as I have mentioned, I'm Ace AF. And you know that plot line in kids cartoons where the alien or foreign Warrior Royalty just sort of *violently kicks down door in full armor* "We Will Marry."? I?? Always said:
"Sure!" (#OhThankFUCK!)
Like what do you mean "No"? The powerful, attractive, monarch that is very into you has travel a great distance JUST to marry you! Now you don't have to date! They seem nice! You can skip the whole "trying to find a life partner" awkwardness.
So, Sudden New Fiancee(tm) how we doing this? Blended customs? Two weddings? One in your peoples traditions, one in mine? Should we invite your family? Tell me more about yourself.
God, this solves just... SO MUCH for me? No having to make small talk. No "do they like me?" Or "am I reading the signs here right?" No failed dates! It's positively ideal! AND they announced why they were qualified, in a VERY impressive show of power and prestige, when they arrived! Good lineage AND accomplished!! Very nice.
Don't get why everyone's so upset.
Sure the "we leave at once" thing that usually follows would have to be discussed, but that's what you DO as spouses. Really guys, it's like you think I'm incapable of common sense here.
And you know who probably agrees with me? Damian Wayne.
Hell is other people, INDEED. You expect him to just... randomly go up to people and try Courting them? What do you MEAN it's "creepy" to compile portfolios on eligible individuals of worthy bloodlines? How ELSE is he supposed to know if they are worth attempting to talk too?!
There are BILLIONS of humans on this gods forsaken rock, Richard! Is he supposed to just GUESS? Gamble and hope for LUCK? This is a MARRIAGE not a "best friends club"!
Then? Danny showes up.
Gotham heard her baby talking. Heard her KING being harassed by clearly plotting Observants and power hungry ghosts MANY times his age. Connected some dots. Formed themselves a new OTP.
Danny says "Fuck It". Worst he can say is No. According to Gotham, he is neither Shy not the meek obedient sort. Is in fact, VERY stabby. So if he's not interested he'll no doubt be BRUTALLY clear about that.
So? Danny gets Fright Knight. Go get him a horse. Someone fetch Cujo some armor. He's been told the guy like weapons and animals.
TIME TO BE IMPRESSIVE.
He goes FULL Regalia. Armor of solid night sky. Cape of frost and stardust. Crown like crack in reality itself, through which the cosmos gleam and shift. He gets a horse from the far frozen. They're wooly and carnivorous. Gets THE most impressive sword he can find to wear.
It's gonna be a gift, since he doesn't need it.
He does the whole "rend the skies open" thing. Fan fair and knights. Every title he's ever been given, no matter how embarrassing he find them in reality. And announces his intentions. Declares that ONLY Damian Wayne, aka. Robin, is WORTHY to Marry Him. And (in the traditional Ghost proposal of "either accept or tell me to fuck off" /w violence) Demands Damian accept his offer of Marriage.
Right there.
IN THE WATCHTOWER.
In front of EVERYBODY. And yes, ESPECIALLY the Bats. Who are making glitching, vaguely threatening DEMONIC NOISES. Because? You... you THREATEN the BABY? Death. Ten thousand years DEATH.
People are :O ing and backing away from the visible heatwave of unadulterated FURY being put off by Batman. Danny is nano-second from every bone his ANCESTORS had being reduced to a fine paste.
Then? Damian consider him... considers the sword being thrust in his direction, still held aloft in a steady and armored hand... contemplates those titles for a second...
And goes: "Acceptable. Very well, but I have demands."
N..... Nani the FUCK? Says local Bat-Dad. No??? You are NOT GETTING MARRIED.
Try to stop him. He very obviously IS, according to Damian, the man brought him a kick ass sword and has a giant green dog. Is the king of an ENTIRE REALITY. Yes, he realizes he probably COULD do better... but frankly? This one's cute. But if it upset you so... extended engagement. There. Happy?
NO! Because the JLA Dark are LOSING THEIR SHIT. Damian is still UNDERAGE. We don't even know how OLD this being is! NO MARRIAGE.
Damian is unimpressed. A whole six months? That he's likely already LIVED thanks to various timeloops, temporal shenanigans, and reality warping bits of fuckery? You're reaching.
Just? Marriage Meet Cute.
@hdgnj @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe
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anothertimdrakestan · 9 months
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Batboys Toxic Traits Headcanons
because no one is perfect, i wanted to get a little dirty with it and imagine what the boys are like when they're a little... too obsessed with you.
tw for romanticizing possessive, obsessive, jealous, aggressive actions haha xoxo
Jason Todd
- scary dog privileges wherever you go with jace, but he is ALL bite with one and only one warning bark.
- when a hand that isn't his brushes your thigh in a club, fingers get broken. when a cat caller thinks his compliment just has to be said to you, he most likely won't be able to speak again for weeks. And god forbid any villain try to use you as bait for jason, they've all learned if they value their life to never touch you. He's all for justice not vengeance until anyone tries to mess with you, then those words always get mixed up in his head.
- sometimes you cant even complain about people, they end up getting randomly harassed by a certain someone until they just move town
- jason is adamant as long as he's alive there won't be a problem of yours he can't solve with a little violence
- your biggest problem is that he struggles to let you have guy friends, obviously the ones he knows especially fellow heroes are more than fine, but he's been known to burst blood vessels when he sees you close and person with men he's never met
- he's proud of it too: "let another man try and touch y/n, it's been a slow night for me." or "i just don't get why you need him as a friend when you have me, myself, and i"
Tim Drake
- tim gets... obsessive.
- he tends to fall hard but with you he brought the house down with him
- before you were officially his he had hacked every security camera in the city to have eyes on you at any given moment
- both for your safety and his own maniacal flirting strategy: you admire shoes but frown at the price tag? tim's buying you the matching bag to go with the shoes he bought the second you looked at them.
- before you knew how insanely in love with you he was, you truly thought he was a mind reader
- well he kind of was, seeing as he scrolled through your search history every night to know which talking points to bring up with you
- once you finally fell for him and set some stronger boundaries he still occasionally found himself double checking your location when you weren't by his side, or lazily purchasing every item on your pinterest boards, he just can't help but dote on you
Damian Wayne
- damian doesn't really get close to people, but as always you were his exception
- however, this means his list of people to hang out with is extremely short, and he saw no problem in wanting to be around you wherever you went whenever he could
- like a kind of tall, dark, and brooding puppy, he quietly followed you everywhere, and when you strictly told him he couldn't follow along, you always noticed a perched shadow just a few building away
- eventually you got used to rolling over to damian coolly watching you sleep or patiently waiting to pick you up from your classes/job, happy just to walk you to your car
- just like jason, damian had a brutal and heartless style of problem-solving when it came to anyone giving you trouble
- too often you found yourself standing in between his rage a massive mistake whether it was nearly assaulting a friend of yours who tried to ask you out or threatening to buy out your entire workplace when you didn't get the promotion you wanted
- forever cooling his rage was worth having his adoration though, and you were happy to have your overbearing shadow follow you throughout your days
Dick Grayson
- for such a bubbly leader, dick often struggled with communication
- always used to bearing his problems alone youd spent too many nights tracking down your own boyfriend only to beg him to tell you what's wrong
- he never understood that you didn't always want to solve his problems, but hold his sadness or hurt with him
- it was the worst when he was upset with you, whether it was jealously or insecurity that crept into his mind
- he'd take off in a rush hoping you wouldn't notice but you always did, either hunting him down or simply waiting with open arms for him to come home
- it would take years to teach your traveling-circus-raised boyfriend that you weren't going anywhere, ever.
- but, this made for many heartfelt nights where he held you and promised you the world, as if you'd opened him up in a way no one else could, pulling forward the most magical and loving side of your sweet boy
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fishfission-dc · 9 months
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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 10: Alfred)
<<Part 9: Barbara 
[Masterlist]
Alfred: Actually, I have prepared something I would like you all to see.
Bruce: Oh lord...
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[collective sigh]
Alfred: I have noticed that many of you are electing not to return used dishes to their proper location to be washed. 
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Barbara: Oooh... that one’s on me, sorry Alfred.
Alfred: Miss Gordon, I trust you not to spill anything on the computer console, but I still think it best not to have open beverages in the presence of... other company.
Dick: Is he talking about-
Tim: Yeah he’s talking about us.
Bruce: Hn.
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Steph: Only Bruce does this, Alfred, I promise.
Alfred: I am well aware, Miss Brown. 
Bruce: ...sorry.
Duke: How do you not spill anything using mugs in the Batmobile?
Cass: (signing) Impressive.
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Jason: Okay, this one has to be Dick.
Dick: ...That’s probably me.
Tim: A teacup? A teacup and its saucer??
Dick: I was already drinking it at the time-
Alfred: Just bring it back next time.
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Steph: HA
Damian: ...They like the-
Alfred: I highly doubt the dogs have a preference of plates.
Damian: ...understood.
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Jason: WHICH ONE OF YOU-
Tim: STEPH. STEPH THAT IS YOUR BELT.
Steph: I CAN EXPLAIN
Barbara: Steph why is a mug in your-
Steph: I BRING THE MUGS HOME AND I PUT THEM IN MY BELT TO REMEMBER TO BRING THEM BACK TO ALFRED BUT THEN I FORGET
Duke: How many mugs are in your belt right now? 
Steph: ...
Dick: Steph.
Steph: A couple...
Alfred: Three. I checked twenty minutes ago.
Steph: ...Sorry Alfred.
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Tim: ...Okay-
Dick: Tim. How on Earth-
Steph: HOW IS THIS ANY WORSE THAN ME KEEPING MUGS IN MY BELT
Tim: Sometimes I save time by eating in the shower!
Jason: That is like... a family sized tupperware container.
Damian: Drake, this is no longer efficiency, it is insanity. 
Tim: ...Sorry Alfred.
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Bruce: ...how-
Barbara: Cass... Cass this has to be you.
Cass: (signing) ...Sorry.
Steph: Honestly I’m not surprised by this.
Duke: Are we not concerned that Alfred’s been repeatedly climbing into the rafters to collect these dishes?
Alfred: Oh it’s not the furthest length I’ve gone for you all...
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Bruce: I may have left a serving dish at the Kents’ apartment in Metropolis, I apologize.
Tim: I don’t think I left anything in San Francisco... or Nanda Parbat.
Dick: TAMARAN?! I’m probably responsible for New York and Bludhaven, but that one was NOT me.
Jason: Ooooh, yeah... uh... that was probably me...
Steph: You left a tupperware container on Tamaran?!
Jason: And maybe... other places... I keep forgetting to bring them home.
Damian: How many of these locations are you responsible for, Todd?
Jason: Uh... definitely Star City and Tamaran... and Miami... Paris... and Washington, Hong Kong... maybe also Nanda Parbat. Oh, and I definitely left a cup in San Francisco...
Barbara: Oh my god.
Jason: ...Sorry Alf. Won’t happen again.
Alfred: I’m glad you appreciate the leftovers, Master Jason, but yes, please return the dishware.
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Duke: Oh that’s definitely my bad... Sorry Alfred.
Alfred: It’s alright, my dear boy, you didn’t know.
Bruce: ...how long has that been the system?
Dick: Probably not long... I definitely didn’t do that as a kid...
Jason: Definitely changed while I was dead...
Alfred: That has been the system for 42 years, I would appreciate if all of you started adhering to it.
[a chorus of “Sorry, Alfred” as they retrieve their dishes, thus ending Powerpoint Night. The end.]
<<Part 9: Barbara
[Masterlist]
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dcxdpdabbles · 7 months
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DC x DP: Dog Walker
Danny needs someone to walk his dog.
He had been in Gotham for about five months when it became apparent he needed companionship.
Ever since Clockwork and Frostbite came to the same decision to move Danny to a new universe for his health- his core was deteriorating due to his obsession being fulfilled as Amity Park was safe, and everyone was ready to grow up and move on.
So Danny moved to a rough city in a harsh universe so that the danger could help his core restart his obsession.
The first few weeks were fine; he even found work as a computer program designer that allowed him to work from home thanks to his universe's advanced technology, but soon, he struggled with loneliness and homesickness—that was where his dog came into the picture.
He adopted Equinox- Nox for short- from the local shelter, and while Nox was a mutt with unknown parents, Danny had no trouble taking care of him.
That was until he accepted a job offer at Wayne Enterprise, and his work hours shifted from remote work seven days a week to four days. He wasn't stimulating Equinox properly by keeping him inside the three days he was out and his poor boy was suffering from it.
This could have easily be solved with a pet sitter or just a dog walker but this is Gotham. Danny knows he picked this place for its constant danger to keep his obsession active but he just wasn't expecting Gotham to be so...much.
He had a panic attack just thinking about what would happened to Nox if he trusted just anyone to take care of him.
Nox is the only living being that is under his Protection. It went against his very Instincts to not find someone he trusted utterly to walk him.
Danny checks his phone to see Nox peaceful sleeping in his doggy bed and sighs. His boy has been sleeping more and more lately, losing his bright spark.
"Whats wrong Danny?" Karla, one of the Office interns, asks from where she is walking along side him.
"Nothing, it's just my dog needs to go for a walk, and I'm not there to give him one." He says, turning the screen. "I wish I can have some one walk hin for me-"
"Understood. I shall pick up your dog tomorrow, Fenton," a tiny voice cuts in. The two turn around only to look down at the green eyes of Damian Wayne. His bosses' son and brother. Oh boy.
"Ugh, I'm sorry?" He blinks as the youngest, Wayne thrusts a piece of paper at him. Danny has no choice but to hesitantly takes the paper. On it is a professional if short resume belonging to Damian that highlights his skillset and community service.
"Father has informed me of the family tradition started by our Pennyworth. Every Wayne gets a part-time job from twelve to grow character." The boy says, hands behind him and back straight, appearing every bit his status. Also, it is like a little kid trying to appear as an adult. Danny found it kind of cute, and it reminded him of Jazz. "I have multiple experiences with animals, as you can see from volunteering at the local shelters. My fees for my services are also meager and would surely not be difficult to cover."
Danny's core turned cold, but not in the wrong way. It was a cooling sensation he had associated with a fun day of either a snowball fight or the fresh first fall. He knew he could trust the boy.
"You know what? Yeah I love it if you walked my dog. In fact would you be interested in being a dog sitter?"
The boy's green eyes brightened with childish glee, but he tried to remain serious. Danny's heart melted at the sight. Oh, he should call Jazz soon. "That would be most acceptable."
Unknown to Danny, Karla, or Damian, Dick Grayson watched the trio as his brother handed one of the most mysterious employees a resume. Now, why would Fenton want to be close to Damian?
Over the last few months, people have been trying to take advantage of Damian because they thought his brother stupid for his mixed blood, just as they did when Bruce first took him in.
Danny doesn't mind Alfred's rule to find a part-time job to help teach them values, but he finds people aren't as kind as they should be. He'll have to keep an eye on this Danny Fenton.
Maybe he can help co-sit his dog.
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