All the Robins together.
ROBINS. ROBINS. ROBINS.
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Bat siblings at a gala of some sorts ✨✨
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Bruce: Tim, don't you have something to say to your brother?
Tim, to Damian: I'm sorry I flicked flour in your face.
Bruce: Damian?
Damian: I'm sorry you're my brother.
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oops i did it again
i wrote another crack batman fic. This one stars battinson who is majorly inspired by @broosepayne ‘s most cracky posts
Not Again
Summary:
Bruce gets de-aged to the age when he just took in Dick, crack and shenanigans ensue as the whole family has to figure out this new (old) Bruce
little excerpts of the batfam dealing with their oddball of a father getting de-aged
Excerpt:
“Alfred, I really don’t want to deal with this,” Dick complains. “If he starts acting like Vengeance again, I’m quitting. I cannot–I repeat–cannot deal with convincing him to drop the name Vengeance again.”
The tired butler puts a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t be so dramatic, Master Richard. He wasn’t that bad.”
Bruce shoots up from the medical cot, but before he can instinctively attack he screeches to a halt. He slowly takes in the room, eyes calculating. His eyes flit over Alfred and go straight to Dick; they narrow ever so slightly. Bruce takes a flashlight out of one of the many pockets in his belt and flashes it in Dick’s face before a vague recognition comes over them. He looks Alfred over again, noting his age, and he deflates. Understanding.
Bruce slowly reaches for the cube and takes it out of Dick’s hand. He takes the cowl off.
“Oh, God.” Dick cringes. “I forgot about the grease paint.” He turns away from Bruce. “Alfred, I forgot about the goddamned grease paint.”
Alfred mumbles something that suspiciously sounds like “Maybe it was that bad.”
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I've been meaning to properly read the batman comics but idk how or where to start,,, pls help?
I actually started reading batman by literally searching up "batman comic reading order" ... huge mistake. unless you want to read the comics in order. that's up to you but for me, there were just too many comics and some of them, I had no interest in but I had to "push through them" to read the comic that I actually did want to read.
tip one: search up "(character) recommended reading" and not "(character) reading order" - this one works for any character, that's why I wrote "character"
tip two: read batman: year one. I'm not necessarily into telling people what to read, because sometimes they might not like it or it's not their style, but this comic is basically his origin story in four short issues, which I personally found were an amazing start to delving into his character
tip three: I feel like everyone says this, but just pick one up. just pick one and start reading. more often than not, you won't need to have prerequisite knowledge to understand that comic, but if you do, you can always go back to the comic that the comic is leading off from
tip four: have some knowledge about the rest of the batfam. you don't need to know their backstories or anything major, just know who they are. like alfred is bruce's butler/father figure, (dick, jason, tim, cass, damian) are all his children and vigilantes (nightwing, red hood, red robin...etc)
tip five: have fun :))
some websites that personally helped me when I started <33
these websites aren't the best, obviously, but they are a great bridge (I guess) into batman's character.
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is this something
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"Are you eating Father's chocolate?"
Dick glances up from his laptop for a half a second, catalogues Damian's actual mood, then fixes his gaze back down at his archaic-looking messaging window. Criminals are weird, but it had been significantly harder to hack into than Facebook messenger would be, so Dick supposes it has it's charms.
"Yeah, why?"
Damian scoffs. "I did not take you for a thief. Timothy bought that for him last week."
Dick just smiles, mind giddy in the way it always becomes when he is about to divulge valuable Wayne Family Secrets. "Damian, does Bruce like dark chocolate?"
"Of course, it is his sweet of choice."
"Have you ever seen Bruce eating chocolate dark enough to warrant a cacao percentage?"
"I—" Damian stops, blinking twice in a blatant display of unsurety that Dick is proud to be witness of. "No. I never have. Are you telling me—"
Dick cuts him off. "He doesn't like it. Nothing above seventy percent, and this right here?" He waves the bar around for emphasis. "This is eighty-five."
Damian raises an eyebrow. "Why does he not inform Tim?"
"Ah, therein lies the catch. He's afraid that if he tells Tim that, Tim will take it the wrong way. So, he eats a square all cheerfully once, in Tim's line of sight, and gives the rest to me, because while he may not enjoy the taste of dirt, I do."
"So why don't you tell Timothy?"
Dick shrugs. "Free chocolate."
"Buy your own."
"Dami, dami," Dick sighs, "let me teach you something." He breaks off another piece of chocolate with a snap, then halves it and hands one half to his brother. "Free chocolate trumps all other chocolate."
Damian rolls his eyes and sniffs at the candy before popping it in his mouth. His face lights up. "This is delicious. Father is missing out."
Dick nods. "That's the 'free' you're tasting. So, here's my offer. You keep quiet about the fact that B doesn't like super dark chocolate, and I give you half of his unwanted stash."
Damian nods, reaching a hand out to shake, and when he retreats, there are little chocolate fingerprints on the side of Dick's palm. "Deal."
Dick grins. "Nice doing business with you."
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Talia Al Ghul!!
I really love to draw this woman, tap for better quality
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WFA gives me the best food
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*after Damian may have accidentally killed someone*
Jon: Don't worry, Dami! I got this! *pulls out phone*
Damian: *being angsty and brooding over the fact that he is a killer once again, and that he was a fool to ever think that a monster like him could ever be half as worthy of being Robin, etc.*
Jon: Alrighty! According to Google first thing we have to do is destroy the teeth and finger prints so he's harder to identify.
Damian: ...
Damian: Are you googling how to hide a dead body???
Jon: Well, duh. Do you know how hard it is to be friends with someone in jail? Cause I don't, and I don't plan to find out.
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Bruce to the robins: This is getting too dangerous, I think you should stay home
Robin: You're FIRING me!?! You're kicking me out of the house?!? You hate me?!? I'm leaving and I'll never speak to you again
Three Years Later...
Ex-Robin: I can't believe you allowed a CHILD to fight crime!!! Do you know how dangerous that is? You ruined my life!!!
Bruce: Oh, are you quitting crime fighting?
Ex-Robin: No and I'm insulted you asked
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“Is that my shirt”
❥Pairing: Damian Wayne x Fem!Reader
❥word count: 1.2k
❥ft: Titus. Mentions of Selina Kyle
❥Summary: playing with Titus a fun but sometimes he gets a little to competitive
❥warning: fluff,mild-cursing
Gotham had its unusual weather all wear long from being gloomy, cold and dark to being hot, sunny and bright. And you enjoy these Unusual days. That’s because you get to spend your time with Titus. Damian's Great Dane. Damian doesn’t mind of course cause that just means he gets to spend time with you but there’s just a small hint of jealousy when he spends more time with his dog then him. Which makes you laugh a little if you really think about it.
The weather today was over eighty degrees out. And you two were sweating up a storm out in his backyard as you, him and Titus played catch with a frisbee. You and Titus against Damian. Fair game honestly since Damian is counted as more than one person. I mean have you seen his stigma. Boys fast.
You watched carefully as Damian threw the frisbee in your direction. You pay Titus head before saying:
“Go get it boy!”
The Great Dane barks before making a run for it, towards the flying toy. He leaps—catching the plastic toy in his mouth before landing on his paws. You clap happily as Damian huffs. Titus makes his way back to you. Almost as if the dog was skipping happily too.
“Oh you’re such a good boy Titus!” You scratch his head taking the plastic circle out of his mouth “oh yes you are!”
Titus lets out a loud bark. His tongue sticking out and his tail wagging back and forth quickly.
“Ok get ready It’s my turn”
You wipe his flober off the frisbee with your shirt so that it won’t slip from your trap when you throw it.
And you threw it, flying above in a somewhat straight line. Damian of course caught it without struggling to do so, making him yell out in victory. You roll your eyes.
Having a dog on your team has its pros and cons. They can do whatever you have them to do perfectly or not so perfectly. Maybe you should have called out saying you ‘got it’ or something because once Damian threw it, the frisbee was coming at you, and you obviously could have caught it—if you didn’t count the times it almost slipped past your fingers. Titus was running right to you at full speed—waiting for him to catch it.
Next thing the air is being knocked out of you literally and you're falling and holding your breath is you called into Damians huge pool.
“Shit!” Damian yells out as he makes his way to you with Titus following right behind. Damian called out your name one last time before jumping into the pool without hesitation.
He pulls you back up as you let out a couple of small coughs. Your small coughs turn into a fit of giggles.
“Are you alright, beloved?” With Worried concern in his voice you nod letting out a small laugh. Damian brushes your wet hair out of your face.
“I’m alright Dame’s” you say “I’m just surprised is all”
Titus lets out a bark then a small whine. You could tell he feels bad by the way he lowers his face to the ground.
“Aw it’s alright Titus. I know you didn’t mean it, plus I’m alright”
Titus' head quickly goes back up as he barks twice, which means he’s back to being happy. Something you learned a while ago about the big dog. He leaps forward.
“Titus no!”
You and Damian both yelled out in sync as he jumped into the pool, Damian pulled out closer to him out of habit of his protectiveness.
“Oh dear”
You glance up at the well known British accent. With a nervous laugh you waved at the butler. Who waved back slowly as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.
“Hi Alfred. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing quite well Miss.L/n thank you for asking. Mhm what about you and master Damian? how are you two holding up in the pool in this weather?”
Damian pulled himself off from the pool before kneeling down and extending his own arms to help you out.
“Pennyworth, go fetch us some dry towels” Damian says eyeing you as you squeeze and twist your hair to get rid of any water
“Please?” You glance back at Damian.
“Very well master Damian. Although it would be nice to hear just a mere please from you. Maybe start taking lessons from your well mannered girlfriend beside you” Alfred sassed out as Damian grumbled something under his breath and you hit his shoulder gently.
Titus, who was already out of the pool and standing right beside you started to shake himself drying, leaving you and Damian to cry out to him to stop.
You two were soaking wet again.
~~~~
With a towel wrapped around your hair to dry it. With your still wet clothes on you glance around Damian's closet. Surely he won’t mind right? Damians been gone for almost thirty minute to find you some spare clothes from his now step-mother Selene Kyle. If you waited any longer you're sure you would be catching a cold the next day. Grabbing a shirt that looked liked out of his taste and spare shorts you quickly changed. You shivered as the cold air hit you leaving you with goosebumps. You let out a small sigh feeling warm in his clothes. Felling a small nudge to your leg you look down a smile.
“Hello Titus” you notice a towel in his mouth and watch as he drops it near your foot. “Aw you want me to dry you too?”
Titus sits. So that’s a yes. You let out a small laugh, grappling the towel off from the floor you walk over to Damians bed and sit down. You Pat your lap gently singling the Great Dane to walk over to you and he sits in between your legs as you pat him dry.
“Geez Titus you’re still wet”
“Is that my shirt?”
Knowing who it was, you hum. “Yes. Sorry you took too long and I was getting cold. Hope you don’t mind”
Damian shakes his head as he walks over to you and sits down on his bed next to you “I don’t mind beloved. Sorry about the trouble Titus caused you”
“It’s alright I needed to cool off anyway. Titus just happened to have a great idea. Isn’t that right Titus” He barks loudly, tail wagging as he still sits on the ground. “See?”
Damian's hair was still wet. Noticing the small water droplets falling from the strands of his hair you take your towels from your head and place it on his. Catching his attention.
“Your hair is still wet, your going to catch a cold”
“I don’t catch colds beloved I’m—“
“ a trained assassin with a great immune system yeah I know” you roll your eyes, gently dabbing his hair dry.
Leaning done you place a small kiss on his lips, smiling as you lean back “there all done”
“Thank you beloved”
Apparently Titus was feeling a little jealous as he got up and barked once and started to shake the remaining water droplets on his hairs.
“Titus!”
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bruce, to the bats: did none of you think this was a bad idea?!
duke: well actually, i di-
jason, smacking his hand over duke’s mouth: oh no, we all did. we just decided to do it anyways
damian: actually that’s not the tru-
steph, smacking her hand over damian’s mouth: WE ALL DID
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Damian stared out over the city, legs swinging in the emptiness beneath him while he waited for directions. In his earpiece, his father ran down the list of team members, assigning positions as he went.
“Black Bat stays with me. Red Robin, take downtown.”
“Yep,” said Drake’s voice. “On my way.”
“Nightwing, move south and wait for my signal— and keep Robin with you.”
Damian opened his mouth to reply and then shut it again, confused. He wasn’t with Nightwing now. They were, to Damian’s dissatisfaction, most of the city apart, more than that if Grayson moved southward. Damian was flying solo for the night, and the only person actually with Nightwing was—
“Did you… mean Hood?” Grayson asked.
Father clicked out of the voice channel immediately, without finishing his instructions.
“Did he— wow,” said Drake, into the sudden silence.
“He did,” said Grayson. “Maybe something came up?”
“It didn’t,” said Cassandra. “We’re fine.”
“In that case,” said Drake. He exited the channel himself without completing the thought— if, Damian added to himself, you could apply the word “thought” to anything happening inside Drake’s head. Damian didn’t personally believe you could.
The rest of the team followed Drake’s lead, disconnecting one after the other until Damian was the only one still at the regular frequency. He sighed and clicked out himself. He had some idea where the others had gone.
“—genuinely do not care,” said Todd’s voice, as Damian entered the secondary channel, “what you or anybody else thinks about it, because it’s not my name, and as a matter of fact I—”
“Oh come on,” said Drake’s. “You clearly do.”
“I don’t, and if you even think about bringing it up again, I’ll come over there and—”
“Can’t believe he left,” said Grayson, cutting off whatever threat Todd intended to make. “He didn’t even finish his orders.”
“He’s typing them,” said Cassandra.
“Can he hear you?”
“Yes.”
“But not us, right?” Drake asked. “He still can’t access this channel?”
“He can’t,” Grayson confirmed. “Say whatever you want.”
“What if we all call Hood ‘Robin' for the rest of the night?”
“I’ll kick your skull in,” said Todd. “Thanks for asking.”
“You’re kinda being an asshole about this.”
Oh good, thought Damian, shifting idly on his ledge. It had been over a week since the last all-out household conflict. He’d been getting bored.
Todd laughed sharply into his own microphone. “You know what? I’ll own that one. I am an asshole. You still have to call me by the right name, Red Robin.”
“Here we go,” muttered Drake.
“See how I used the name you chose? Even though you’re twice the asshole I am, and I’m seconds from punching you, and it’s a stupid name?”
“It’s— you picked it out!”
“And I’m owning that one too! It’s a bad name!”
“I’m not a huge fan of your current one,” said Grayson, “if we’re being honest.”
“God, don’t you start.”
“You named yourself after the Joker, Hood. It’s sort of uncomfortable.”
“Uncomf—” Todd began, half-laughing in a way that made Damian hope that Grayson wasn’t standing within Todd’s reach. “Uncomfortable? I really can’t stress enough how very little I care if my name makes you uncomfortable.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Well, don’t next time. Shut up.”
“Whatever. He didn’t do it on purpose, anyway. He probably just slipped up.”
Damian nodded in agreement, out on his ledge where Todd couldn’t see. Father’s reaction had been too extreme for the mixup to be anything but an accident.
“He can try harder then,” said Todd.
“Or you could chill,” Drake suggested. “Batman called Nightwing the wrong name yesterday, and he didn’t lose his shit about it.”
“Don’t—” Grayson began.
“That’s it,” said Todd. “That’s it, I’m done, I’m— let go of me.”
“No,” said Grayson.
“Let— fine! I changed my mind. I now actively hope my name makes you uncomfortable. Go to hell.”
“There already, I think,” muttered Grayson.
“Ha-fucking-ha,” spat Todd.
Damian heard a brief scuffle on both their lines and wished, absentmindedly, that he had a visual on whatever rooftop they occupied. Whatever they were doing, it didn’t last long— a few moments later, both Grayson and Todd were back, as if they hadn’t been fighting at all.
“Did he call you Robin?” Todd asked.
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“I kinda like it,” said Grayson. “Feels like he’s, I don’t know, thinking about old times.”
“Same,” said Drake.
“I’m not speaking to you,” said Todd. “But to Nightwing, yeah, that’s my point. I don’t want him thinking about old times or— or calling me the wrong name because he—”
“Because he only recognizes who you used to be?” Damian put in.
“Exactly. Hello, Actual-Robin.”
“Hello.”
“Incoming,” said Cassandra.
Every line in the frequency chimed collectively as they all received the same message: a paragraphs-long essay from Father with the rest of their instructions. Damian skimmed through it, looking for his own assignment, then pushed himself off the concrete, up into a standing position.
“Goodbye,” he said, switching back into the regular channel.
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Anonymous asked:
a conversation about names (hero names, real names, pet names, car names *cough*batmobile*cough*, anything)
-----
Happy birthday to me :)
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And per my last post it’s not to say that giving damian new friends is a bad thing , I’m talking about how awfully cyclical it is , the thing is dc introduces the damian is alone and has nobody thing in every reboot and I understand robin(2021) is damage control and I don’t hate it but I can already see the writing on the wall , the only person I truly see sticking around is rose due their already established friendship
Connor fans already talked about how bad it is for Connor to be potentially deaged and not having any of his familiar ties be introduced again so I can easily see him being fixed more by another author later on
My problem is that damian seems incapable of getting a stable footing in his robin journey ,dick and Tim get a stable group of friends ,you know who they are why can’t damian have that? Why put him in teams with people he has no chemistry with?The closest I could say that happened was with maya,suren and Jon in terms of impact(who were all invented characters that they could've used instead of constantly giving established characters another angry lonely damian arc)Gleason tried to have it but Dc cancelled it because they wanted to make him evil again for no reason other than gaining the status quo of Tim being robin back
It’s ugly and Damian’s tendency to repeat his arc over and over again is so SO boring
edit: we've barrelled through 3 teams with established characters with him to no avail or true development like what is the point? when i said dc failed at making a successor to titans or YJ its the fact that they have yet to make a proper team based on actual friendship/character arcs and that’s why they keep flopping
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Selina: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way.
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