[ID: A page from Trigun Maximum. In the top panel, Vash has his arms outstretched to hold his gun. His right arm, sleeve and all, is distorting and cracking as part of it twists and extends up into a branch that has curled around and caught a bullet in mid-air. Little feathers, like the beginnings of wings, are extending from some of the cracks. Vash is wide-eyed, frantic-looking. The bottom panel shows a closer up image of Vash's face and upper arm, showing that the branch has caught the bullet just inches from his right eye. The bullet is still turning and giving off smoke as it expends its momentum, the thin branch evidently extremely strong to hold it. End ID.]
Not that I don't love a good wingfic/wingart but I think we've got some REAL wasted potential in leaving out how much Vash's extensions are both feathered and resembling leaves, bark and branches. And evidently capable of not just warping his body but the fabric of anything he's wearing. The first time I read this I thought this might have been as much of a surprise to him as it is to the reader--that he's so off his game today that he has a closer call than he has before and reacts with an instinct he didn't know he had. My current read, based on a panel below, is that he did know he could do this, but usually does his damndest not to. He is off his game, not fully in control of his reactions, so he slips and does something he normally avoids at all costs, possibly because he knows what the reaction will be...
[ID: three panels from Trigun Maximum. In the first, Meryl is collapsing, clutching her head in both hands, her mouth open and eyes wide in terror. Milly is throwing her arms around Meryl with a frantic expression, yelling "Ma'am! What's wrong, Meryl?! Hang on!" The second panel is a flashback to Vash's partial angel transformation, focused on the inhuman scream on his face and his right arm transforming into the Angel Arm weapon. The whole panel is overlaid with a staticky filter that makes this dark and chaotic. The third panel is a close-up of Meryl's terrified expression, in a photo-negative style so that her skin is dark and her hair is light. End ID.]
PTSD is a BITCH. Meryl seems to be holding it together after Ryutsu Citadel--she often comes off as the kind of woman who prides herself on being level-headed and keeping her shit together in chaotic situations--but this unanticipated transformation triggers a whole-ass flashback and that throws her into a level of terror we've never seen her experience before, not even when she was actually kidnapped, because that's how PTSD be. All that terror that she would have felt at the time had she not been full of adrenaline and anger and panic, unloading out of nowhere when there's nothing else to interrupt it. I'm glad Milly is there, she seems like she gives good hugs, but GOD this hurts to see--especially since it generates more grief and guilt for Meryl because of how her reaction drives Vash away. She's vibing with Wolfwood on the "this guy is terrifying but he's also the best person I've ever met and I can't help being in love with him" but she's had WAY less time to process knowing what Vash is...
[ID: Four panels from Trigun Maximum. In the first, Vash looks angry and frustrated, his teeth gritted as he looks down, panting, "Sh-shit!" The second panel shows some random generic townspeople looking on with wide-eyed, startled expressions. The third panel has reduced those same townspeople into pitch-black silhouettes, with only their eyes and mouths visible as blank white lines as they say, "Did you see that?", "He's a monster", and "He really does have the power of the devil." The fourth panel shows Meryl, her arms cradling her head and mostly covering her expression, but one eye is visible, wide and crying. She's visibly trembling. End ID.]
With so much Christianity about it's not surprising that some people jump to "he's a witch!" but still, OUCH. Vash's frustrated expression here is what makes me think that maybe he did know he could do this--he has, after all, seen Knives create his blades from his arm--but he really, really, REALLY does not want to and usually avoids it at all costs. He's just that far off-kilter to begin with and accidentally doing this does not help. I have to wonder if he's ever done this before and gotten the "burn the witch!" reaction before... that REALLY wouldn't help his fear/lack of knowledge about his own body as an independent plant if he never actually explored what he can do because he wants so badly to be perceived as human/pass socially among humans. And if showing his non-humanity so deeply terrifies not just strangers but even someone he was getting quite close to like Meryl, why wouldn't he hate and fear himself?
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[CN] Victor’s Sea-circle Event (Chapter 4)
⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for content yet to be released on the global server! ⌚
✧ mum’s smile || little gentleman || art and love || mum’s companionship || endearing thoughts
【Mum’s Companionship】
A journal recording Victor’s growth during the study tour program in France.
What she hid in here is not only memories but also her regrets for not being able to be there to constantly care for him and nag him during the time he was growing up.
[Note: Victor’s mum used to call him “Yan Yan,” which as always, I’ve translated as Vic-Vic~]
—
✧ DATE: 05/21
He safely arrived in France at noon today. Following the teacher’s instructions, I was waiting at the designated meeting point when I saw him getting off the bus with a big bouquet of carnations in his hands. The teacher said that when they were passing by a florist, Vic-Vic requested to stop briefly and wait for him; he then especially picked out those flowers for me. This adorable little gentleman… did he watch some French romantic movies!
—
✧ DATE: 05/21
Vic-Vic’s dad said he packed his luggage all by himself for this trip. And sure enough, Vic-Vic immediately opened his suitcase in the living room after we returned home today. Although this little grown-up didn’t say anything, I knew he was probably trying to attract my attention. So, I thought of teasing him a little and deliberately pretended to not see, going about my business as usual.
But to my surprise, Vic–Vic was extremely patient. He just sat there on the sofa and waited quietly. Before long, I couldn’t resist anymore and succumbed in my heart, promptly making up for it by rewarding him with the recognition he deserved. Vic-Vic took out a certificate from his suitcase and presented it to me, saying that he would bring an even better trophy next time. I knew he was trying to tell me through this gesture that he was studying diligently and growing up well. So I hugged him and told him he was truly amazing. But what I didn’t tell him was– “Actually, you are already outstanding in your mum’s heart, and you don’t need these awards as validation.”
—
✧ DATE: 05/25
We visited a vinyl record store, and I initially thought that at Vic-Vic’s age, he might find this type of music medium too old-fashioned. But he listened attentively to the teacher’s explanations throughout the visit. I asked him if he wanted to buy a vinyl record as a souvenir for himself, and he quickly nodded. Eventually, with the curator’s recommendation, we selected a collection of Miles Davis’ famous tracks.
Sticky Note:
As soon as we got home in the evening, Vic-Vic couldn’t wait to play the vinyl record. I was curious about why he was so interested, and he explained that the unique sound of vinyl records made him feel like he was traveling through time.
—
✧ DATE: 05/31
To my surprise, Vic-Vic helped me secure the tickets to the music concert that I had missed out on earlier through a knowledge quiz.
My son is truly amazing~
—
✧ DATE: 06/05
I still remember the first time I made pudding for Vic-Vic. With a frown on his little face, he peered at the kitchen countertop and asked me in an earnest tone if we needed to hire a professional cleaner to tidy it up? Just the thought of his deadly serious expression makes me somewhat unable to contain my laughter. I wonder if he will ask the same question again when he sees the kitchen in its current state after waking up?
—
✧ DATE: 06/05
…in the blink of an eye, you are already leaving for home today. There are many things Mum doesn’t know how to say to you face-to-face, so I’ll just write them down here silently.
As the person dearest to you, I’m truly sorry that Mum can’t always be by your side and witness you growing up. Seeing how sensible you are, Mum feels gratified, but my heart also aches at the same time. If I had been by your side all the time, perhaps you would have been able to be like the other kids, often acting coquettishly and being stubborn with Mum, wouldn’t you…
Regardless of anything, I hope that one day you will understand that no matter where you are, I will always be blessing you, watching over you, and loving you. And also, remember to smile a lot more. Mum absolutely loves the way that smile lights up your face~
P.S. The teacher said that this record needs to be submitted to the school, but Mum is really unwilling to part with these precious memories and give them to someone else. So I lied to the teacher and told them that I accidentally lost the journal…
After you leave, I’ll secretly hide it away. You can revisit these memories at your own pace when you grow up.
—
✧ next stop: endearing thoughts
—
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.: Cold :.
Ship: Ben Solo x Kaden Reese
Words: 735
cw: These two be infuriating and hopelessly in love lol Me @ me and Ben: I hate you both askjfhds /j
Summary: Kaden's cold. :3c
Banner: @/cafekitsune
"I-It's unbelievably cold out here," Kaden muttered through chattering teeth, the wind cutting through them with a ferocity that felt almost personal. The cold was not just nipping; it was gnawing at their skin, relentless and savage. Kaden found themselves in a precarious situation, having "acquired" a few essentials from an unsuspecting scavenger. Unfortunately, said scavenger was now relentless in pursuit, undeterred by the merciless cold that dominated the landscape.
Driven by a mix of desperation and the biting cold, Kaden made the decision to abandon subtlety and dashed towards the safety of their temporary refuge, a hideout shared with Ben. Both of them were fugitives, evading the relentless hunt of the First Order.
The hideout, thankfully, was not far, but the journey was made arduous by the howling wind. Upon reaching safety, Kaden burst through the door, slamming it shut and securing it behind them. They leaned against the door, panting, trying to catch their breath in the thin, frosty air.
"What took you so long?" The question came from Ben, his voice cutting through the silence of the hideout. Kaden, following the sound, found him lounging casually at a table, an aura of calm about him despite their situation.
"Ran into a snag, then had to leg it," Kaden replied, flexing their fingers in an attempt to restore some sensation to them.
Ben seemed to dismiss the explanation with a glance, his attention quickly shifting to Kaden's visibly cold hands. "Cold?" he asked, stating the obvious.
"Freezing," Kaden exhaled, continuing to flex their fingers, the cold having leached deep into their bones.
The howling of the wind outside seemed to underscore the moment as Ben inspected Kaden from head to toe, finally standing. Under his gaze, Kaden felt an inexplicable smallness, a vulnerability that was rare for them to show.
"W-What?" Kaden asked, a trace of nervousness in their voice.
"You were ill-prepared for the cold," Ben observed, a matter-of-fact tone to his voice.
Kaden could only sigh, their gaze drifting back to the door as if it were the source of their miscalculation. "I didn’t expect to be out there that long—I…" Their protest trailed off as they turned back to find Ben closer than anticipated, his hands gently capturing theirs. The sudden touch was startling, yet not unwelcome.
A silence enveloped them, filled only by the sound of wind against the hideout, as they locked eyes. Every touch seemed to intensify the unnamed tension between them, a warmth blossoming in Kaden's chest that was oddly comforting.
"What are you doing?" Kaden managed, their voice tinged with a mix of curiosity and hesitation.
Ben, momentarily lost in the moment, began to gently massage Kaden's hands between his own, the action speaking louder than words. Despite the silent question, Kaden found themselves captivated by his focused expression.
"The risk of frostbite is real. We can’t have that," Ben explained calmly, his thumb tracing patterns over Kaden's palm, the warmth from his hands a stark contrast to the biting cold they had endured.
Ben’s gaze remained on their intertwined hands, not once looking up until Kaden's reaction drew his eyes. The faint blush on Kaden's cheeks was enough to quicken his pulse, their proximity sending an undeniable thrill through him.
"I think… my hands are warm now," Kaden stumbled over the words.
Once again, a hush fell between them, laden with an unspoken tension. Their eyes locked, lingering in a gaze that stretched a moment too long, revealing more than intended. Ben's hands remained on Kaden's, a hesitant caress that spoke volumes, unwilling to break the connection just yet.
"Ben." Kaden's voice was softer now, a hint of amusement in their tone.
"Hm?" Ben responded, the sound almost a caress.
"You're holding my hands hostage." Kaden chuckled, lightening the moment, prompting Ben to glance down and quickly release their hands.
"Apologies....Feel better?"
more than you know.. "Yes, thank you."
Later, as Kaden lay in their makeshift bed, they replayed the moment, hands clasped together as if to hold onto the warmth Ben had given them. Their gaze wandered to Ben, now seemingly asleep, the quiet rhythm of his breathing a contrast to the storm of emotions within Kaden. Turning away, Kaden sought to calm their racing heart, unaware that Ben, eyes barely open, had witnessed the entire silent confession. With a soft sigh, he pondered this delicate song and dance, wondering when the facade would finally fall, which one would crack first?
Tag list: @dragonsmooch || @mahitoslittlebird || @heatobrienswife || @ama-ships || @kylars-princess || @roboraindrop
Was inspired after being outside and its heckin COLD T_T
If you aren't a self-shipper please dni <3 I have anxiety of being s e e n lol
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Vent post ahead that may change your view on me and that may sound dramatic (NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST IN GENERAL) Mostly just to get out my feelings. I only ask that if you look, to be kind and understanding and patient. Also the tags are silly and id appreciate if you read em. id appreciate if you didnt ask me anything on it
I feel toxic sometimes because i can get so jealous i borderline gatekeep things and I always feel so bad because its never intentional but then I end up hating myself because I know its unhealthy and irrational but I cant help it, and I know im so lucky and have a lot in many senses of the word, but at times it feels like they can be taking everything, because when I like someone or something, they tend to matter a fuck-ton to me. Im sorry to anyone ive lashed out at a bit for them wanting what I have, I really am. Its not coming from a place of hostility, rather a place of trauma responses and hyperfixation that stem from my adhd and autism but like when I try something and it goes great, and then someone else is like "OOH thats awesome I wanna do that too" It feels almost like when Im finally happy or excited or proud to have something, someone comes and takes it. Usually Ill play it off as a joke, but in reality, its complete honesty that im trying to soften so I dont upset anyone, especially when its over fiction or a person, because I do NOT own them and I know that, but it bothers me when someone swoops in to do the exact same things or even one-up especially when its really soon after me, and since my self worth is already abysmal, it just makes me feel worse, like I should be lucky to have what I do to begin with, but I feel the need to hold it close to me and protect it so I dont lose things that make me really happy.
Recently Ive even started reverse gatekeeping in response to others, where ill just tell myself I cant or dont deserve to have anything special because I'm not, and only others can enjoy this. But thats why people making me ship content makes me so happy. Its dumb to get jealous over others selfshipping with a character I like. Its dumb to get upset over someone I know copying or taking heavy inspiration from one of my ideas. Its dumb to get possessive over someone else trying to befriend my new awesome friends or wife/wives. I rarely selfship anymore due to my reverse gatekeeping and instead serve the others who simp or enjoy content. I provide since I feel I cant take. It makes me happy and distracts me. But the moment someone else does something similar to what is my toxic coping mechanism for my toxic coping mechanism, it only hurts worse. Thats why sometimes, for example, I get a bit snappy when someone else provides gummybunny (that and also shipping jealousy sometimes). Thats why I get snappy when I make a friend someone else super cool and then another person comes in and wants to befriend them (No darken, this wasnt directed at you, its happened more than once with more than one person but I know how you tend to assume). I LOVE giving but I hate sharing, because all my life whenever I shared, I lost something.
Introduce a friend to a friend? They leave me behind for eachother. Let someone wear my fitbit because they wanted to feel "rich"? It got stolen. Give money to someone in a "rough spot" who promised to repay me somehow? Never saw them again. I was always so trusting and understanding, and I always made excuses for others. Always so naive and gullible. So much so, in fact, that in elementary I kept letting my bullies pretend to be my friends when they claimed they changed, and let them destroy any ounce of worth I had whatsoever. Things that make me happy I CHERISH because of all the things ive lost and all my experiences. Ive never been hit, not once, but the abuse all my life came emotionally and mentally, and I only recently realized through therapy. Now its hard to trust people in certain situations. Sorry for my probably hard to follow and melodramatic rant.
sorry im dumb haha
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