#damn i didnt actually think my new tags through. im gonna have to like tag everyones names twice when j post my own stuff

[lonelyquail]

oh boy I finished (citation needed) a new game time to add to the veedia tag again

metal: hellsinger (ps4)

this game is Lovely. this game is so fun. I cannot aim to save my god damn life. metal hellsinger accomplished a major feat in having the only possible setup in the entire world to encourage me to play a first person shooter (being, really good metal and rhythm mechanics) and to that I applaud it because I consider fpses to be sort of my mortal enemy? right next to mmos and fighters? im gonna go into it more let me not take up ur entire dash.

the gameplay is Lovely. i did play on easy mode but ough the. shotgun cocking effects to the beat of a good metal song. there is Nothing Like It. the difficulty is Honestly Not Bad ** given some practice time and its very much a delight to play. well. save for one part but ill get to that. its a darkly lit game which is a problem but all of the enemies are color coded, glow, and have their own sounds and that alleviates it a bit.

i will say that the game is. Not Optimized to PS4? it is. Quite Glitchy and while I don't mind most of them i know some people do and there were a few that very much got in my way (i posted the acheron boss glitch a couple hours ago). also sometimes enemies just get stuck in the floor and youre waiting for them to pop up so you can move on. thats fun. also the bug enemies suck. the shield enemies also suck. those arent glitches i just hate them.

as for plot uh. this game was not made for plot. i accept this. its kinda Just Okay but it doesnt really need to be more than that. you play a scary demon lady who wants nothing more than to rip the devil limb from limb. whats better than that. youve got a troy baker skull. the plot there is admittedly pretty cute especially if you try to analyze the lyrics but i am also very much a sap and it hit a specific genre of Relationship In Media That Is So (Kinda Just There) Its Not Even A Subplot which is one of the few genres i can actually stand. i will say i feel i got a bit beauty and the beasted at the ending but like. eh. it wasnt that much. anyway. next point

theres no bad songs in here. my favorite is this devastation easily. ost introduced me to arch enemy which is a band you can all tell I'm normal about. the lyrics only kick in when youre at max multiplier so being able to hear a good drop is a good motive to get decent and not get hit. i think my ranking of songs is this devastation - no tomorrow - burial at night/stygia - dissolution and then everything else is kind of at the bottom in no particular order. not to say i dont like them but theyre all the same level of like. also serj tankian is there. he is lovely. he does the final boss theme (no tomorrow) that I wish I could fucking hear him over damage sound effects and myself swearing. yeah now we get to that

** The Final Boss Is Bad. yeah my main problem (and kinda only Real Problem) with this game is uh. i dont think i can actually finish it? there is an Enormous difficulty spike at the final boss to the point where my first run of lasted a solid Two Minutes if that and i am on easy mode. my friend described it as (game is touhou now) and yeah i can see it. first person touhou. nobody wants to play first person touhou. i dont want to play first person touhou. i didnt actually beat the game i just watched the ending and resolved to get back to it when i feel like it (never) and do better things with my time. like draw unknown in little outfits.

anyway thats My Thoughts. its a good game and i will probably keep playing the levels over n over. for people who dont replay these games over n over it is definitely not worth the money as you can pretty easily slash through all the levels in one sitting if you know what youre doing but i am easily entertained and love rhythm games. stay tuned for doodles of the unknown with my general fashion sense. listen to the two best tunes also. maybe listen to the whole ost after if u like it.

#veedia 2023 #vee shut up

[kaz11283]

I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.

37) Because I Love You God Damn It!

~~~~

The Secret Is Out

Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint

Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst

Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.

Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.

Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.

"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.

"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.

"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.

"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.

"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."

"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."

"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."

"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.

"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.

"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.

"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"

"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."

"Dont ask to much of me now."

"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.

"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.

You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.

"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.

"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.

"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.

"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."

"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.

"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."

"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"

"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"

"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."

"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."

"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.

"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.

"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.

"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.

"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"

"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.

"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.

It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.

"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.

"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.

"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.

Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.

"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.

"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #loki avengers #loki daily #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki fluff #loki request #loki masterlist #loki x you #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki x y/n #loki friggason

[shhh-no-ones-home]

raising the bar bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

me and a friend have been re-watching the marvel movies and have started calling him Jamie because its another nickname for James. idk why we thinks its cute/funny but I'm running with it and you get to see some of that here. enjoy lol

song: i cant handle change by roar

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

Date night. Finally! It had been so long since we'd been able to just sit and relax at some random restaurant or bar or diner or wherever, and God it felt so good. Every weekend for the past month was "get in, get out, no questions asked", mission after mission. But now we were cut off. The government wanted to handle things themselves. And as excited as I was to have my Bucky bear all to myself, I knew he was more so happy he didn't have to fight anyone any time soon. He could just relax with 'his best girl' and live his life like a normal person. And that's what we were doing, sat in a booth in the back of the diner, enjoying each other's company.

"No, no, you mean to tell me that he actually did that?"

Bucky asked, looking over me intently before sipping his coffee. I nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes! And by god he was so embarrassed."

I let out a loud laugh, him shaking his head in amusement.

"I just can't believe Sam would actually do that. I mean don't get me wrong, I believe he'd be stupid enough, but to actually pull that off? No way."

I watched as he shook his head.

"There was water everywhere."

Then the door chimed, signaling someone's entry and taking both of our attention. A whole group of large, bearded men, came in talking loudly. Bucky looked a little more uncomfortable now that there were many more people in the room, something that happened a lot more recently. i knew how this usually went down, we had talked about it the first time it happened and came to an agreement. we keep the conversation going, he doesn't have to engage if he doesn't want to and if he feels uncomfortable we leave. simple as that.

"uh, but uh, he kind of recruited me. per usual when he gets himself into a mess. and it was a big one."

"ill bet."

he said quietly, looking over my shoulder and swallowing hard. i frowned, looking to the table in front of me.

"but uh we got everything figured out. the plumbing department was furious when they got to the house. and i still dont know how he got the insurance company to pay for all the damage. i mean damn, there was water running down the stairs."

i laughed a little at the end, watching his gaze shift back and forth. after a second i reached across the table and took his hand in mine.

"james..."

he sent me a look, his jaw tightening.

"jamie."

i tested and he looked to the table.

"talk to me."

"of course she has to give him permission."

i heard from behind me, all the men laughing. he sighed hard, looking over my face. they had been chatting about us since they sat down and i was trying hard to ignore them. clearly we both were.

"maybe we should go."

he said just above a whisper.

"ill ask the waitress for the check, yeah?"

he nodded as i stood.

"oh so now she gets up, gotta give him a break."

they all laughed and i paused, my face straightening and buck giving me a look.

"you got a problem?"

i asked, not turning around.

"I wasn't talking to you."

he said gruffly, still holding a laugh. i clenched my jaw.

"No but you're talking about me and someone I care about."

"Let's just go."

buck tried but i shook my head, finally turning to face the man.

"No, not until he apologies."

i said sternly.

"We both know that's not gonna happen."

bucky defended, his presence looming behind me as he stood.

"He's right darlin, why don't you just buzz off."

"I'm not your darlin, asshole."

i watched intently as he stood, moving to stand over me. he and bucky were probably about the same height but in the moment i felt bigger than both of them combined.

"What was that?"

he fumed.

"Apologize."

"No."

i clenched my fist and felt buckys hand gently against my arm.

"y/n just dont."

i looked back to him.

"you may not enjoy violence but i have no problem with it."

i growled. he looked between my eyes.

"lets just go."

he tried to pull me towards the door but the man stopped him.

"hey i wasn't done talking to her."

the man said, bucky starting to challenge him back.

"we're going man, just leave us alone."

the man looked back to me with a smirk before pushing bucky. he just sighed and shook his head.

"God damnit."

bucky said under his breath. i was already staring daggers into the guys head.

"that was a mistake."

"and whys tha-"

before the word even got out of his mouth my fist was colliding with his jaw. he had stumbled back, Bucky tripping him as he went and grabbing my hand.

"time to go."

he said, and without even thinking i was letting him drag me out of the diner.

"we didnt pay!"

i protested as he lifted me onto the back of his bike.

"im an ex assassin, not a thief, i put a twenty on the table."

he said quickly, getting on and starting it. when we both looked up the gang was coming out into the parking lot, all looking rather angry. the man stumbled out the door last.

"shit."

Bucky kick started his bike before pulling out of the space. a few of the guys were quick to get on their own but we were already gone, the diner fading into the background. i clutched onto Bucky for dear life as we wizzed down the street. you could hear the rumble of a few of the other men's bikes behind us but Bucky was weaving through traffic so much i was sure they would lose us, and then he turned down an alley way slowly.

"can we not have one day off?"

he grumbled, stepping off the bike and looking over me. i closed my eyes and shook my head for a second before swinging my leg around and sitting off the side of it.

"we had today off, its the break we need."

i mentioned, annoyed, picking my hand up to look at. the pain was starting to set in now that the adrenaline was wearing off. i looked up to him and noticed him staring down at my hand as i opened and closed it slowly.

"Shit, I hope that's not broken."

I looked down over my knuckles again. They were definitely bruised but it didn't hurt as bad as it could've. I just shrugged and slid off the side of the bike, shaking my hand out.

"I'll be fine. How are you?"

He gave me a look.

"I'm not the one that just punched a guy three times bigger than them."

I shrugged again.

"Words hurt buck, I know you. How are you doing?"

I persisted but he just sighed. When he leaned forward, trapping me between him and his motorcycle, his hands at my hips, I felt a little bit better.

"With a pipsqueak like you to defend me I'm doing just fine."

I raised my brows at him, smirk on my lips.

"You mean that?"

i tempted and He nodded solemnly.

"you know i do."

he pressed his forehead to mine and breathed deeply.

"i love you Jamie."

i said softly, pecking him on the lips. i could feel his thumbs rubbing circles into my hips as we stood there for a second. this was something that happened a lot too. the nickname had become one of those things that tended to calm him down, ground him, make him feel new since no one else had ever called him that.

"i love you too."

he whispered before pulling away. he took my bruised hand in his and kissed my knuckles.

"ready to go home?"

i asked and he nodded.

"yeah, lets get some ice for that and cuddle up on the couch."

"watch a movie?"

i inquired. he smiled a little bit before kissing me softly.

"absolutely."

#wattpad #x reader #Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #white wolf #falcon and the winter soldier #captain america #marvel #329

[wackatoshi]

winter’s fanfic recs

last updated: 5 July 2020

ok so you want good fanfics?? emotional rollercoasters?? gut wrenching angst?? toe curling fluff???  well listen I have you covered. keeping this pinned (maybe) and ill try update whenever i can!

listen i consume so much fanfiction per day it tends to all get blurred in my head, plus life lol. so these fics are truly standouts because they resonated that much with me that i have reread them countless times, and will continue to do so!!!

below the cut are links to the fic and some brief comments where i tried to encapsulate as much as I could, as concisely as possible LMAO but it was really hard okay

anyone who follows me knows i am Rain’s Biggest Fan lMAOOOO so it comes as no surprise that i recommend everything by @/revasserium

but here are a handful...that, you know, if the world ended and all the libraries burnt to crisps and the internet emptied itself...these r the ones i’d salvage:

found among the ruins - kageyama x reader all time favourite, nothing will change this from being my #1. this has lines you won’t forget!! fantastic historical references just woven into this story, ties in amazingly with kageyama like. damn. “when they lose to seijoh, he doesn’t cry” is just such an iconic line, it randomly comes back at me and i HAVE to go and reread this. brilliant. brilliant. brilliant.

universal truths - kageyama x reader ok this fic is barely a day old and it’s pinned on my blog so go and read it now. just read the author’s note at the beginning and tell me you’re not immediately enticed lmao. i can't say anymore about this bc words just don’t do it justice so just read rain’s tags:

and tell me this isn’t poetry 

love as dead as one of the languages - oikawa x reader (assassin au) LIKE...THIS IS NOT A STORY THIS IS A WHOLE MOVIE. oikawa n iwaizumi duo as assassins and yes it’s just as sexy as u think. perfect undertones of angst, oikawa angst by rain is the Best thing ever. man read this so you can talk to me about it, im obsessed w spy aus and this comes rlly close

so this is how summer ends - oikawa x reader

first paragraph in this is probably singlehandedly the most phenomenal metaphor i have ever come across. it just sets the tone for the story incredibly well and i have no words, this really, really, really hurt me but i Always come back to it, because there’s a hopeful part of me that thinks it might be different each time lMAO

hate - tsukki x reader this is AWESOME. the pacing of this fic is just to die for, you’ll know what i mean when you read. the cold open, but then the way it just develops throughout the story and you finally get the full picture - phew. absolutely a masterpiece, yet again, and it’s so so perfect. don’t be shy read it

stolen kisses - sakusa x reader imsidjakjdha this is awesome, great reading of sakusa, so fluffy and adorable and toe curlingly sweet. i love this, really adore this and it’ll make you feel so much better if you’re having a bad day, trust me on this. fricking adorable

those who make sandcastles - kakashi x reader

so I’ve never watched naruto ever lmao (except two episodes rain generously linked me which...I still never recovered from) but this is so so unspeakably beautiful to me. I don’t think you understand...like from a person who didn’t know who this guy was, god reading this was a raw experience and I just. it’s gorgeous please talk to me about this fic. I’m sure it’ll hit way different when u actually know his character. but omg I just. 😭 so many gorgeous lines in this fic in PARTICULAR I am never gonna be over this one

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next we have the iconic @/bleedinqhearts and you’ve probably come across her work at some point or another, so good!!!! well i have more to show you!!!!!!!

what we owe to each other - oikawa x reader (spy au) THIS is the fic that inspired me to write no sound like silence lmao so go and read this one bc it’s infinitely more superb and snappy and WOW. it honestly takes a lot for me to EVER reread fanfics, but this one is One i easily, easily come back to because it’s so addictively well-written. the cliffhanger at the beginning tho ooooffff ;)

we were thieves - kuroo x reader (heist?au) one of the most criminally underrated fics if i’m honest!! so great so great, kuroo is just OOOF in this like, just WAIT til he comes in. honestly sad this is the only part but hey there’s just so much description that you can easily insert this as ur emotional support daydream and enjoy ur own spin-off in ur head

with time - ushijima x reader yeah like, this has 1000+ notes for GOOD reason. fricking amazing, absolutely tore me apart but the ending is so endearing, so sweet, you’ll probably shed a couple tears. ushijima being a big oaf is all i live for and UGH this will literally make you squeal, it is SO helplessly adorable and sweet and i just want to be in love so bad

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ok next writer is @/xuyue who you all know i Stan. just go and read all of her works please i beg of you, she’s got some incredible lines and fricking gorgeous pacing, i feel like im on cloud nine with every one of her fics. but you ALL know which one my favourite is:

asteria - yamaguchi x reader I WILL GO TO THE GRAVE WITH THIS FIC I SWEAR ITS AMAZING...i fell head over heels in love with yamaguchi after reading this lmao like wow. and the last line will haunt you forever and ever...just go to the reblogs of this fic and you’ll see the trail of my comments and delirious ramblings lmao

between us - iwaizumi x reader (historical au)

HI LMAO THIS SERIES WILL ABSOLUTELY RUIN YOU ITS THE FRIKCIRHH BEST historical aus have NEVER been done better yue clearly put in a ton of effort to research this and FIRCK Japanese edo period just...comes to LIFE before your eyes like GOD...but this fic encapsulates forbidden love, mutual pining but 100x angstier, and I think you’ll just be overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness all the way through. goddd iwaizumi is just SO noble in this and part 6 will fricking obliterate you also please read if it’s you which is oikawa x reader (historical au) ahahaah ahaha

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ok ok. are u ready for the kicker coz yes its the amazing @/krystallisert my blog is currently named after two of her fics because i am but a Shrine to god tier writing. so check out the link in my description box (god who am i) and browse throughhhh <3 NOT my masterlist do NOT interact

da capo - oikawa x reader x iwaizumi (soulmate au, unrequited love) THE FACT WE STANNED THIS SO HARD THAT NIGHT LMAOAOOA I LOVE IT. i even have a tag for this fic, that’s how bad it got me. honestly my hands are shaking as i type this bc i really don't know how to explain how incredible this fic is..how much it means to me. i CRIED so hard, i screamed and cursed like this GOT me. i said it once before, but this story EVOLVES before your eyes - each chapter is in a new perspective and you collect all these new details, you see things in a new light, and iwaizumi’s chapter will properly break your heart...but also oikawa’s chapter shook me to the core n i really LOVE the characterisation here. 

bitter/sweet - ushijima x reader (fake dating au, billionaire au) uMMMMM THE FACT I ALSO HAVE A TAG FOR THIS WHY DIDNT ANY OF YALL MESSAGE ME ABOUT THIS ??? i had a TIME reading this fic. i had the best time of my life. god when you find people who can write ushijima it’s the best fricking thing ever. like...he is so amazing in this oh my god. this fic in particular brings the characters and the scenes to LIFE. it just feels so real, so tangible, and you...you just know what i mean if you read it ok. i was blushing all throughout this fic, tingles up my spine...the LOT

highways: in defiance - oikawa x reader (dystopian au)

oh my god. ok I am really not coherent right now as I type this bc my emotions have seriously been sucked dry...THIS fic is absolutely stunning. please read it. the relationship building is so gorgeously executed, you will fall in love with ever-observant, rebellious oikawa, he is just a DREAM in this. I am so in love oh my gosh it’s so beautiful, I love them, I’m in love, it hurt in a lot of places but the ending will just make you so soft for the universe 🥺

highways: in colour - akaashi x reader (dystopian au)

HEY THIS FIC BROKE ME LMAOOOO GODDDD this is the first instalment of the highways series that I read and yeah it’s GORGEOUS. the language is so vivid and colourful, you’ve got smuggler/painter akaashi vibes whose creativity has been repressed because of this totalitarian regime, and this secret lil relationship is just doomed from the start but it makes you hope, so desperately, it just makes you hope and hope and hope because that’s what dystopian stories are all about right? the ending will BREAK you

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a new addition bc this writer is so brilliant, so big-brained, I am genuinely in love with everything she’s ever written MUAH I LOVE @/wander-lu5t

underwater — ushijima x reader

this basically follows canon post timeskip so WOW it’s amazing and so beautiful. a long fic but seriously not to be missed, every chapter is so engaging and beautiful and you will just feel so so so much. the characterisation is absolutely impeccable!!! I love it so much...I have so many feelings...ahhhh

into the new world - atsumu x reader, ushijima x reader, kita x reader (soulmate au)

HAHAHAHA FRICK THIS SERIES IS ACTUALLY JUTST BLOODY INCREDIBLE WOULD PAY FOR A WHOLE BOOK FILLED WITH EVERY CHARACTER FROM HQ IN THIS SETTING!!! so it’s a three part series featuring diff characters in which reader is thrown into a new world and meets her soulmate, discovering their name is written somewhere on their body. it’s just amazing. I do not know which one is my favourite truly. they’re all so incredibly good in their own right and of course the characterisation is amazing. to summarise the way I feel:

atsumu: HILARIOUS. you will be laughing from start to end, I swear. he is such a drama baby but it’s so funny lmao. the dynamics are seriously to die for, everything is just brilliant!!! if you need a pick me up, read this!! and the ending is just AGHHH IT TIES THE FIC TOGETHER IN SUCH A LOVELY MANNER

ushijima: THIS WAS SOOO INTERESTING OMG. reader is low key so dodgy LMAO we love to see that scoundrel energy contrast against prim and perfect ushijima. another gorgeous one, there’s one line in here that especially broke my heart and you will know which one it is. sigh...OH AND TENDOU IN THIS LMAO

kita: ok this is possibly my favourite one of the three...I’m so??!?! it’s especially magical ahhh and romantic, you will swoon so much. if you want to feel particularly swept off your feet, kita’s your man, and this fic is the one for you. I am so in love with him after this LMAO like to an unhealthy degree. I just want to move into the countryside on a farm and live my best life with that man <3 and his grandma LMAO

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here’s a RANDOM RANDOM rec bc it’s not haikyuu, it’s star wars, it’s reylo aka one of the most controversial ships in the world yes, i know -

crossroads trilogy - reylo YEPPP this series absolutely ruined me and it will ruin you too. the plot in this is like crazy good and the fact it was written pre-the last jedi always kinda freaks me out bc of how many parallels it had to the movie. wow. yeah i should reread this bc it was absolutely incredible 

+

in conclusion please go and tell your favourite writers that you enjoyed what they wrote! it’s a simple gesture of appreciation & it really does mean a lot, so don’t forget to say thank you!! they work hard ya know!!

#fanfic recs #fanfiction #honestly this was done very poorly by me but i don't want you to get bogged down by my fluctuating emotions #just read the damn fics ok and come into my arms as we sob together #all of u #im so floored by this writing and it just inspires me so so so much but #mostly just makes me rlly appreciative #these fics in particular are just gonna stay w me forever... #stannable fics

[bananonbinary]

I noticed in your tags you mentioned getting an autism diagnosis at an older age. I'm fairly certain I am but I'm not sure if it's worth it to get diagnosed because I hear people talk about how hard and expensive it is to get.

I meant to ask how did you go about it but I sent the ask too soon.

uhh well. it WAS really hard for me. i dont think my experience was super typical tho? at least, i hope not. (this is going to be kinda bleak, but i really don’t think it’s what you have to look forward to or anything. hopefully it could provide more of a roadmap for what not to do)

1) im actually pretty “““low-functioning,”““ which is a stupid term, but is relevant here because phone calls to strangers are basically impossible for me, and its very difficult for me to actually talk to People In Authority without freezing up and losing my voice. so i a) hit a lot of roadblocks that couldve been easily avoided by someone more outspoken, and b) had to rely a lot on my family to help have these conversations anyway. which i recognize isn’t really an option for a lot of people.

2) this all ended fairly recently and im still pretty mad about it, so it probably is a lil more negative than it has to be

the actual process was several years of nothing, followed by finally getting it done in a few months, and it was basically:

me: “hey the office i go to for mental health shit, i need a new psychiatrist, and i’m also pretty sure i have autism, do you have anyone who could help me get diagnosed with that?”

them: “sure here’s this guy” (guy does not know shit about autism, but waffles every time we ask and does not reveal that fact to us until several MONTHS later)

me: “hey guy i’m stuck with as a psychiatrist at the moment, i’m pretty sure i have autism, how do i get diagnosed”

them: “there is no way to diagnose autism in adults, and also autistic people are just spinning in circles and arent aware of the world around them, you aren’t autistic” (blatant lies AND heavy ableism lmao. i finally fired that asshole recently and it was supremely satisfying)

me: “hey my gp, im pretty sure im on the autism spectrum and my mental health professionals are fucking useless, pls help?”

them: “oh man, i love those mental health people :) anyway, aren’t we all on the autism spectrum somewhere? now, lets talk about your weight instead”

me: “hey local autism clinics, im pretty sure i’m autistic, any chance-”

them: “no. we only work with kids, and also need a referral from your gp. and we’re not taking any new patients at this time anyway”

finally, FINALLY, like 3 years later, i found a really great therapist, who’s also a licensed clinical social worker. for the record, i found her out of state and all of our appointments are by video call. highly recommend looking for this sort of set up if you’re having trouble finding mental healthcare professionals that don’t fucking suck in your area, because i promise having good therapy remotely is leagues better than shit therapy in person.

within like 3 months i told her i’m pretty sure i’m autistic, but couldn’t find any way to get diagnosed without my gp on board. she did some research for me, and reached out to a colleague of hers in the area that works with autistic people.

i got an appointment with said colleague (who was great), who basically went through the dsm checklist, said “yep youre autistic” and referred me to another doctor to actually get diagnosed.

that doctor sucked, and literally just went through the same damn checklist the previous doctor went through, but this time charged me $1500 for it, and didnt take our insurance. also said i couldnt be low functioning because i have thought about my gender identity. so, yikes.

but i got the diagnosis! huzzah!

and now my therapist is helping me to set up an appointment to work with an occupational therapist for sensory processing issues, so i can actually FINALLY get some goddamn help (which technically didn’t need the autism diagnosis but none of those shit doctors believed i HAD sensory processing issues until i got it, so). AND family is helping me finally figure out how to apply for disability so i can have some actual agency in my life. we’re also talking to that first doctor who said i was autistic, and she’s got loads to say about how antidepressants and shit dont even work in the expected way in autistic brains, and is hopefully gonna help me find things for non-autism mental health issues that actually, you know, work for me for the first time in my life.

the moral of this story is, it’s REALLY REALLY HARD to try and get a diagnosis if you don’t have a professional on your side. but if you do, it can be really good, and you just need to worry about the money issue. once i found someone who was willing to help me, even though she’s not actually a medical doctor or even in the same state as me, things moved shockingly quickly. and are still moving quickly. i’m really glad i actually did it, because i very desperately need help and i am very, very close to actually receiving it. most of the pain of this story boils down to me floundering because i had no clue what i was actually supposed to do, and no one i asked would give me a hint.

so...is it worth it? depends. even if you actually skip to the end there, i’m pretty sure the random ableism and ungodly price is pretty typical. so, if you think the potential opportunities a diagnosis presents is worth that part (which it super was in my case), then go for it! but if that doesn’t quite balance out for you, remember that there’s tons of good people with good advice in the autistic community who don’t care if you’re professionally diagnosed or not.

#this is so much more bleak than i meant it to be #im uh. still pretty pissed about all that #but i cannot stress enough that i dont think this is how most doctors are #ive got Issues wrt having been raised in a super conservative area and my medical professionals are kinda part of that #ableism tw #like. so fucking much ableism #Anonymous #long post

[darkelite020]

Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 12

Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb

- So I sort of expected it by the end of last episode but it seems like last episode was a start of an episode arc about hera's family, which, for rebel's fans I'm sure it's cool and exciting and maybe answers some questions or will actually show things discussed in rebels maybe, but as someone who hasn't seen rebels yet, I really hope this episode and the next few have more bad batch screentime, cause we were a little robbed last episode lol (but in a way I do still enjoy this stuff too, because im sure when I DO watch rebels it'll make the experience better). -- I'm not disliking this arc or anything, but up to this point we've kind of had almost mandalorian style 'one episode one adventure' sorts of episodes, and personally I really hope we get more of that (which I think we will), because while this is all new content and everything, we all have to admit clone wars had some less interesting filler arcs here and there, and I just hope bb doesn't fall the same way (across all of its seasons, im not very concerned about it so far from what we've seen of season 1) because if there is filler, I'd rather sit through a couple of the one episode stories, rather than a 3-4 episode story that takes nearly a month to get through if im disliking it, mostly for the fact that even if we got those 1 ep fillers, its more stories and more likely I'd like at least one. ---kinda rambling about this unnecessarily atm cause while again right now I think bb is fine, I just want the future to be that way too. - fffff every time I see howzer on screen I think of that fucking audio thats "here comes the boy, hello boy~" and honestly can you blame me he is so precious like ugh I swear dave you better be nice to him -- YOU CAN TELL HE FEELS SO BAD AND GUILTY LIKE IT HURTS - hey admiral can you not be MEAN to howzer when he is trying to be fucking helpful -- ;-; BRO im saying it so much already but I feel so bad for howzer like dude someone help him --- imo it feels like its sort of setting up howzer for something more important in the show kinda, at least for his character. Like we can clearly tell he doesn't really agree with the empire and I think they're going to do something with that. He's probably undercover for someone against the empire but I get the bad feeling they're gonna pull a Fives and have him go against the empire and help everyone else somehow but then he will probably end up dead because we cant have nice things. - hello cross... bet you wont be saved this episode - Ok good, some more bad batch here already. -- ALSO GONKY BEING DEFECTIVE!!!! EVEN GONKY IS DEFECTIVE LIKE BB THATS SO CUTE! - uh, im not the only one getting the leia transmission vibes from hera, right? -- ok, again I haven't seen rebels so I dont know BUT if hera has the ability to talk to bb, couldn't she have done so in rebels? Yeah she's older and im sure better at fighting and defending herself and all that, but wouldn't it still be possible for her to have gotten in some kind of rough situation in Rebels to ask for bb's help again? I super doubt bb made any appearance of any kind in Rebels, so doesn't that imply that she lost communications with them? What happens to bad batch >> - bad batch not wanting to help but because omega really wants to you can see its making hunter soften up and I appreciate it - bruh what??? Taa is dead af, like theres no way the show is gonna pull some magic and be like 'oh yep here he is' thing??? Like this has to be a lie, but even then, what even is the plan here?? Saying "oh hes recovering" well he can't be recovering forever, how does that seem like a good plan to lie about that?? People are gonna find out?? - "Great just what we need" from Wrecker about crosshair MAKES ME ANGRY LIKE??? YES?? DONT BE MAD AT HIM ITS NOT HIS FAULT??? SAVE YOUR FUCKING BOY??? -- oooo then the rest of bb doesn't comment about it literally gsjrkgbdkfbg why do they not care about him???? Like it seems they legitimately dont care about crosshair, even though theyve been together for so long like even before the show came out they

had history together and were all really close. I know people argue "oh well its just difficult to save him and its unrealistic for them right now" but so what? Even if they aren't trying to save him they should at least CARE about him. --- Which is also like the thing with echo and fives!!!! Like Echo didn't seem to care much at all when Rex mentioned fives even a little! Or even about seeing Rex that much!! Dave I'm gonna need some answers my guy, cause you humanized these characters but then you dont make them act that way so like whats up. - Lucky hunters abilities came in handy - Back to crosshair for a second im predicting they 100% arent saving him this season. There was a poster released part way through the season and he's not even on it... makes me so sad. - "I'd do the same for you." ;-; that didnt need to get that deep - CROSSHAIR BETTER NOT START SHIT WITH HOWZER - Howzer helping Hera's parents or at least implying that is good but that also means im right so far and therefore worried >> -- HES GOING TO GET FUCKING CAUGHT I BET TALKING TO THEM LIKE THIS AT SOME POINT AND HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET ITS GONNA BE CROSSHAIR THAT CATCHES HIM --- Cham stfu its literally so obvious that howzer is trying to be genuine, also if he's kind of undercover for him like what the fuck do you expect howzer to do if he has to play along with the empire to keep his cover?? "Won't make that mistake again" Fuck off like honestly. ---- #stopbeingmeantohowzer2021 - "A little help" and the gentle "Hey" ahh love it - I'm really enjoying this whole them fighting in the ships sequence - "Stay here and guard the capitol" SCARES ME -- Please for the love of god bad batch don't get howzer killed --- or plot B Bad batch maybe run into howzer but save him and take him with you at least temporarily ---- oh god.... bb is helping heras parents escape and that means howzers gonna get in trouble.../probably replaced by crosshair - Crosshair is smart but thats also badddd - The scene of howzer and crosshair looking at each other is killing meeeeeeeee - Ohhh is howzer gonna stop them before they go out the door? -- YES HE IS SEE WHAT A GOOD BOY HE IS - (please fucking listen to him I beg) - Aw dude I just had a thought that breaks my heart... howzer cares about his squad and "trying to get through to them" but what if his squad is clones as well and the chips... that hurts me so badly... -- Like we all know howzer is a sweet boy by now but ughhh like the thought that he doesnt want to leave them even though they are doing whats wrong shows just how much he cares and I really hope he doesn't get into trouble because of what he's saying to them, but you know he totally would do it because he seems to care about them so much and :( bad batch more like sad batch --- This is the kind of compassion I wanted from bb for crosshair hunter kind of looks back at howzer as they leave him and I doubt itll mean anything but I really hope that maybe seeing how much howzer cares will make hunter care a little too... - *sigh* howzer is getting left behind by them which we know why but yeah... now he's definitely going to be in trouble... I just hope they don't hurt him... - OH GOD HOWZER BABY DONT -- He's making a speech and I know he's trying to sway them but you know damn well this is gonna go so badly for him because of the chips and crosshair is watching so you know howzer is gonna get fucked here and I know what hes trying for but I really wish he didnt just do that because now its blatantly obvious he's gonna be against them ;-; - Wow ok im kinda shocked people are siding with him (I guess cause theyre not all clones right) but I feel so bad for themmmmm - Crosshair missed multiple shots? Uh what? I didnt think that was possible lol - bb please come back for howzer and the others at some point.... -- I guess maybe if hera's parents are going to organize rebels against the empire maybe they will help them but I somewhat doubt it... - Ok I know that crosshair requesting to hunt them was supposed to be this big moment and all but I

can't help but feel like its a little underwhelming (but dont get me wrong still cool vibes) because he's kind of already been doing that anyway?? Or has tried to several times?? So I don't get why its a big deal, however, I do have a possible prediction: We know that bb got their chips removed, (crosshair doesn't, I know that) and so that eliminates the idea that they will get caught and actually go bad like crosshair, but it does leave a possibility where maybe they get captured and then *pretend* to be bad? And that could lead to a better possibility of helping crosshair (they wont) or maybe howzer and the other rebels or something? Cause I also feel like its significant that they brought up how the war will eventually come to them and bb will be a part of it no matter what eventually, and it makes obvious sense theyd be on the rebels side of it, so maybe something like that goes on, idk.

#bad batch #bad batch spoilers episode 12 #I would still die for howzer honestly he just continues to prove he is the sweetest boy #tcw spoilers #jay rambles about bb #star wars #the clone wars #bad batch spoilers #the bad batch

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part Sixxty Eight/

Word Count:10.9k

A/N: continuation from 67! Enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated

Warnings: language, extreme angst, intense therapy sessions, SMUT(bear with me. I haven't wrote smut in a hot minute)

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyesx​ , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless,, @venus-calum, @justjodeye,  @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland @awesomealmostdopestudent,  @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy,  @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1,  @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe,   @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe​,  @sleepyjunhong @lovemythsworld @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks  @unknownoblivion @siliwanoel @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @kellysimagines @meetthesixxter, @duffshairdye, @xpoisonousrosesx​, @m0rnlngstar, @cranberrirolls, @oskea93, @love-struck-aries, @idumpyourgrass, @minxtruck, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @cruesixxlover1991, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @dogmom2014, @sinningsixx, @motleycrueprincess​

*Nikki's POV*

"Nikki, Vanity is in the hospital. She doesnt want you here but im not taking Arianna to the hospital because I dont waknow what kind of condition Van is in. So, I need you to be here for your daughter, or are you actually the asshole I think you are?"

I stared down at the desk, trying to Process waht was going on, "Nikki? Did you hear me?" My stomach was twisting into knots as my heart felt like it was stuck in a vise grip.

"The hospital? Is-is she okay?" I breathed out the words. You know when you have those moments where it feels as if all time is standing still and you are the only person in the univer? Thats how i was feeling.

"I dont know Nikki! All i know is Arianna wasnt picked up from school. I found her waitin ginside when I left. I tried calling Vanity but she didnt answer and I had a voicemail from the hospital saying she was there and im her only emergency contact she has."

I reached for my water, dowing it until the bottle was empty, "Uh...uh...it's gonna take me hours to get there regardless..."

Clementine scoffed, "Unbelievable, do you not fucking hear me? Vanity is in the hospital!! The mother of your child and so called loved of your life needed medical attention!"

"It's gonna take me hours to get there..." I repeated.

"I don't give a shit Nikki. You have the fancy jet, use it."

I shook my head, "Look, im the last person Vanity wants to see right now. Can't you just send Ari to one of her friends or something.? Can't someone else watch her while you go to the hospital? Clementine, I'm across the country..."

She laughed, "As if I would send her to stay with Jason. I'm her only friend here, Nikki."

I felt my bood boil and my body become tense, "Ja-Jason? She's talking to Jason?" My jaw was clenched as I galred at the doorway, seeing Brandi scowling against it.

"Well Nikki, if you had kept your promise Jason wouldnt be an option." I closed my eyes, breathing through my nose as I shook my head, "He's not a fucking option!!" I yelled back in defense, "He aint even a fucking blimp."

"Are you coming or not? Arianna has already been so upset and stressed out lately. I don't want her to be upset even more. Trust me, Vanity feels the same way."

I glared at Brandi, "Just give me a few hours." I watched as she threw her arms up and shook her head.

"You fucked up this time. I mean it. You can ignore Vanity, but you dont lie to your kid."

"I know! I know! I just...look I'll explain everything whenI get there, alright?" I retorted as I hung up the phone and looked at Brandi, "You! It's all your fucking fault!"

Brandi was appalled, "Me? I did nothing! You were the one who didnt call and kept saying you were too busy! Don't put that on me!"

"I did nothing." I mocked her voice, walking past her and to my bedroom, "As if you didn't fuckin use coke and your body to make stay with you."

I shook my head, quickly grabbing garments from the closet and throwing them on my bed, "Filled my head with bullshit!" I shouted as I threw the duffle bag on the bed next.

Brandi laughed, "Oh come on Nikki. You know who you really want."

I shook my head, trying to rid my ears of her nasaly voice, "Yeah, now I do! Now that I know my daughter has been crying over me and that Vanity is in the hospital! It takes her getting hurt to make me realize it!" I screamed, watching her flich at the loudness, "It always takes Vanity getting hurt to make me fucking realize how much of an asshole I am!!"

God, I fucking hope she's okay.

"Oh my god, she's probably being dramatic! Nikki, please don't go. I just got you back, stay here with me. Please baby?"

"Why?! So you can keep ruining my fucking life? So you can keep going on the lavish trips and shopping sprees?! Fuck you and fuck off! I'm done. If I get back and your shit is still here, I'm burning this fucking house to the ground with you and your shit in it!" I threatened, grabbing my bag and then my car keys right after.

"I'm serious, Brandi. I am done. I'm signing the papers and giving them back to the lawyers."

*A few hours later*

I got out of the rental car, slamming the door as I parked outside Vanit's apartment building. I went inside, repeatedly pushing the elevator button until it opened,. I stood in the elevator, pushing my hair out of my face as I tried collecting my thoughts. I had called Clementine on the plane and she said she was at Vans house waiting for me. I couldn't wait to see Arianna.

The door slid open on her floor as I speed walked down the hallway before I was face to face with her front door. I knocked and waited until it opened.

"Took you long enough." Clementine answered, a bitchy glare on her face as I sighed, "I'm sorry, okay! I am sorry!" I said, almost out of breath as I looked at her.

"I am not the one you need to apolgize too." She snapped at me as my eyes glanced over to Arianna who was staring at me from across the living room.

"Pumpkin.." I got down on one knee, smiling at her, "I've missed you."I frowned when she completely ignored me and walked straight to Clementine.

"I want Mommy." She whsipered, pulling on Clem's hand and looking up at her.

"I'm gonna go get her babe, okay?" I tried reassuring her, but all i got in return was mean glare.

Clementine smirked as I straightened back up, "Good luck, hope you come back in one piece."

*Vanity's POV*

I glared at the wall, sitting uncomfortable as ever with my arm in a sling, dried blood around my nose and six stitches on my forehead. My glare then went to the nurse who entered my hospital room. "Can I just fucking get something for pain?! I'm dying here!!" I yelled at her, they've ignored my requests three fucking times!!

"Hello! Are you fucking stupid or something?!" I groaned, pushing the bed side table towards the nurse as she was standing at the counter.

"And something other then god damn ice chips?!" I shouted grabbing the pink plastic cup and throwing  it out into the hallway.

The nurse turned towards me, "Ma'am, you need to behave. r I will get psych down here to take you to thier side of the hospital. You understand me?" She berated me like a fucking child as I looked away from her and out the window, "I will work on getting you something to drink. Buut I cannot give you any medications." I rolle dmy eyes, pulling my arm away from her touch as she tried to wrap the blood pressure cuff around my bicep.

"Do you have any recollection of what you have put into your system? cocaine and diamorphine were all found in your blood system."

"What the actual fuck is diamorphine?" I qustioned her, rubbing my temples as I felt myself becoming irritated even more.

"Plus, when you came in your blood alcohol contenet was at a point one five and thats three times the legal limit in the state of New York." I looked at the banana bag I was hooked up too, "Diamorhpine is heroin, Vanity."

"Jason..." I mentally cursed him out, "I don't do heroin." I told her as she looked at me with the same look she probably gives other druggies taht tell her the same exact thing.

"Well, we did have difficulty setting up an IV, your veins are shot in both your arms. Luckily, we were able to get the veins in your hands to cooperate or we would have had to do a pick line straight to your heart."

I shook my head, "I don't do heroin. The blow was probably mixed with the heroin. I wouldn't willingly touch heroin. I didn't- I wouldn't."

"You are very lucky the car accident wasn't your fault, but the police will be in touch with you later to get your statement. May I take your vitals now?" The nurse, whose name tag read Margie questioned as I nodded.

"Statement? I don't rember anything. When can I go home? I have a daughter-" I gasped, "I have... i have to call Clementine!" I tried getting out bed but the nused pushed me back gently by my other shoulder.

"Our charge nurse has already conta ted her, now please, relax. I'm sure your child is fine." I took some deep breaths as I relaxed into the stiff bed, "Now, since youre awake and coherent, you dislocated your shoulder and you have a concussion so no blood thinner or it could make it worse. You had a minor laceration on your forehead but the doctor took care of it."

"Sorry to interrupt you Margie, but your patients husband is here." Another female nurse stated.

"I don't have a husband." I told them and right on queue, the blood pressure monitor started beeping eratticaly when I saw Nikki.

"Get out!! I don't want him here!!" I picked up a cup of jello, chucking it as hard as I could at him but he ended up catching it in his hands.

"I thought you said you were her husband?"

"I'd rather fucking kill myself than be married to him!"I shouted at the nurse, her eyes widening at my statement.

"Margie, should I call psych?"

Nikki put the cup of lime green jello on the counter, taking hesitant steps towards me, "I am just here to take you home. Clem called me and I just flew on the jet all the way here. She's with Arianna, she didn't want her to worry."

"You're her ride home?" Nikki nodded, "No! I'm not going anywher with this psycho!" I motioned to Nikki as he frowned.

"Doll, please?"

I pointed my finger at him, "Don't do that to me, Nikki! Don't look at me like that and don't talk to me like that!"

He rolled his eyes, completely ignoring me as he started talking with the nurse, "Can i have her discharge papers, please? She'll be safe with me. She's just a little uh...pissed off at me at the moment. It's nothing new." Nikki tried to laugh as I glared at him and as the jurses looked a bit weary.

"Do you have another ride, Vanity?"

I exhaled in a defeated manenr, "No. I don't."

"Why don't you step outside with our charge nurse while wehelp her get dressed an situated with the sling." Margie explained to Nikki, motioning to the door as he nodded and stepped out.

I pulled up my jeans after they handed them to me followed by my booths. The nurses helped me put my shirt on, with minimal complaints from me about my shoulder hurtinbefore hanging my jacket off my shoulders.

"Van, look, I don't want to be here-"

"You should want to be here, Nikki!" I shouted at him in the middle of the hospital, feeling other doctors and nurses look at us.

"Stop it! Just let me finish! I meant here, in the hospital with you! Clem called and here I am! So i'll take you home and just fucking go back to California if thats's what you want, alright!?" Nikki raised his voice as I stared at him in disbelief.

I vocally let out a "Ugh!" before pushing him to the side, "I can't stand you!"

"Yeah, just keep it coming Vanity. Tell me how much you hate me!" Nikki followed with heavy footsteps as we evenutally made it outside of the hospital, "Fuckin telll me Van! Tell me how horrible I am and how much of an asshole I am! Let's get it out of the way now princess!"

I quickly turned around, shoving him with my free arm repeatedly, "Where were you?!" I yelled, "You bastard! I can't fucking believe you would do this!" I shoved his chest again, forcing him to lean back into the wall as I continued to do so, "i'm so fucking sorry wer're such a bruden to you and your wife!"

"She's not my wife! I was busy!" He defended himself as I shoved him again, "Vanity, knock it off!"

"Busy with what Nikki?! Tommy's been here so don't even tell me it's the band and I highly doubt divorce papers take three months to sign!"

"She tried getting me to stay and-"

"Tried?! Nikki, you did stay! You chose her over me, not even me but your fucking daughter!" I shoved him again, but this time he grabbed my arm and forced it to my side.

"Calm down, now!" He lowered his head, shouting in my face as I fought his grip, "She's getting her shit out while im here! My marriage to her is over! Alright?! Stop acting like a fucking bat out of hell!"

I forced my wrist away from his grasp, "Just take me to my daughter."

"I'm sorry, Vanity. I really am."

I rolled my eyes, opening up his car door before sitting down, "Fucking save it Nikki. You're always sorry."

When we arrived at my apartment door, I unlocked it and tried slamming it in Nikk's face but he stopped it from closing.

"Mommy!" I sighed, trying to keep my tears in check as I picked up Arianna and gave her a hug.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. Mom got into a little trouble and she had to go see the doctors, but im okay now." I smothered her cheeks in kisses, "Pizza and cookies? Wow! Did you tell Auntie Clem thank you?"

Arianna giggled, "We made them for you! And we saved some pizza. Auntie said you would be grumpy and hungry when you got home." I smiled, silently thanking Clementine.

"Boo boo?" Arianna frowned as she pulled on the swing a bit.

I nodded and brushed my finger over her cheek, "Yeah angel, a really big boo boo but i'll be better in no time." I smiled as she kissed my cheek. I saw her then look over my shoulder as I sighed and put her down on the floor, "You should go say hi to daddy while he's here..."

Arianna glared at him before she loooked up at me, "I saw him already."

"Nikki took a few steps before crouching down to her height, "I've missed you princess." He smiled at her and fixed a loose strand of her hair, "Dad's been busy.." Arianna wasn't buying his bullshit either as she walked away from him and went to play with the scattered toys in the living room.

Nikki, the six foot and buck seventy five man that he is, got on his hands and knees and crawled over to her, "You got new toys? Those are pretty cool."

"I want to play by myself." Arianna told him, moving all of her toys away from Nikki and putting them in front of her.

I felt Clementines glaring at me, "I am fine."

"Oh really now?" She laughed a bit, "What the hell even happened Vanity?"

I motioned her to come over to the table and sit down with me so our conversation would be out of earshot from both Nikki and Arianna.

"You cannot get mad, alright? But I maybe snorted a bit too much and drank a little, or a lot. I don't remember crashing, and I sure as hell don't remember getting to the hospital-" I laughed, "And get this, heroin was mixed in with the blow I got from Jason. Isn't that hilarious?"

"Vanity..."

"No worries! It's all good!" I reassured Clementine with a pat on the arm, "I'm fine, I mean kinda. My shoulders dislocated and I have a concussion. They flushed my system, I'm good! I'm great!" I shrugged it off like it was nothing as Clem wore an upset look on her face.

She took off her glasses, rubbing her temples before she looked at me, "Good/" Good until Jason gives you more drugs?"

"I'm not. I'm done. I finished off what he had gave me, I told myself that's all I would do. I'm sorry clem."

She scoffed, "Sorry?" Vanity, you could've been seriously injured or worse. You're wasting money on this crap!" Clementine raised her voice just a tad.

"Well, so what if I am? It's not like I'm broke or poor." i retorted, glancing over and seeing Nikki attempt to get into Arianna's good graces.

"Nice, real nice Vanity." I looked back at Clem, seeign her stone cold glare.

"What?!" I gave her a confused expression, "That was not a shot at you if that's what you are thinking. You're not broke or poor. Your paintings sell and I give you money for being her babysitter."

"I said I wanna play alone!!" We both turned our heads when Arianna had yelled at Nikki, "Give me my dolly!" She yelled again, snatching it out of his hands.

"Princess, I am sorry I've been gone." Nikki spoke with hurt in his voice as he stared at her in shock before he glanced at me for guidance.

"Arianna, c'mon. You can't just ignore me." Nikki smiled before ticking her sides.

I watched as she pushed his hands away from her, "Go away."

"She's as stubborn as you are." Clementine mumbled to me as I nodded.

"I don't want to play with you." Arianna muttered as she moved away from Nikki completely, taking her toys with her but he only followed after her.

"Daddy just has stuff to take care of in California, ya know?" Nikki spoke softly as he laid on his side and tinkered with one of her toys.

"Go back to 'fornia!"

Nikki sighed, narrowing his eyes at her, "Arianna, do not yell at me."

"You lied! Mommy said you lied!"

Remind me to stop gossiping with Clementine while Arianna is within the same vicinity.

Nikki side eyed me before turning his attention back to her, “Babe, I-I didn’t lie. I told you I’d be back and I’m here now.”

“You stutter!”

“Arianna, I didn’t lie to you! Stop yelling at me!” Nikki raised his voice, not necessarily yelling at her but he was stern.

“Liar!” Arianna shouted, throwing her doll at Nikki’s face before she ran down the hallway to her bedroom. I heard her attempt to slam her door but since little tiny fingers and door jams don’t mix well, I had put foam at the top of the wooden frame.

Nikki mumbled as he got off the floor, “Just like your mother.”

“I think maybe you should go…” I told him as his eyes darted over to me.

Nikki shook his head, “I flew all the way out here. She can be stubborn all she damn well pleases, but I’m not leaving.”

“Then you should have called. Kids aren’t stupid.”

I closed my eyes, wishing Clementine had not put her two cents in as I felt Nikki’s anger rise even more.

“Stay the fuck out of it! It isn’t any of your god damn business!” He snapped at her quickly as she rolled her eyes before she stood up and started grabbing her things.

“Clem..” I spoke softly as I watched her shake her head, probably plotting how to murder Nikki and get away with it.

“Not a single fucking thank you for making sure your kid doesn’t know you like to come home high and pass out. That she doesn’t know how much of a fucking asshole her father is.”

I glared at Nikki as he rolled his eyes at me and went to sit down on the couch, “Clementine, I’m sorry. But thank you for making sure Arianna is always safe. I love you?”

She sighed, glancing at me as she looked back at Nikki, “I love you too…just call if you need me okay? Maybe take your mutt to go get neutered, he likes pissing on everything.”

I tried to keep my laughter in, “Bye Clementine, Thank you.”

I closed the door, turning around and leaning against it as Nikki stood in the middle of my living room.

“Can we please talk now? Just you and me.” I watched as he fiddled with his thumbs as I went to the fridge and grabbed my bottle of wine and glass from the cupboard.

“I don’t think you should be drinking if you…” Nikki stopped talking as he was met with my death glare. I sat down on the couch as he sat down next to me.

“You were gone for months, Nikki. You didn’t even call! You barely called at first and then it just stopped. How is that suppose to make me feel? To make your daughter feel?” I expressed my grievances as I poured the sweet red into the glass.

“Vanity, I’m sorry.” He placed his hand on my knee, “I fucked up. I really fucked up. She…Brandi gave me coke and it had me going for a minute. I was an idiot.”

“Blow? She gave you blow? I introduced you to your fucking child and you just run back to la la land because of some fucking dust? Prioritize what’s important to you, Nikki!”

Nikki shook his head, “I thought…I just thought maybe you didn’t really want me back, that it was all just a one time thing.”

That alone sent a knife straight through my heart, “A one time thing?” I stared at him, “After the night we spent together before you left, you really thought that was a one time thing? I wouldn’t of said the things I said if it was just a one time thing.”

“Babe, I was just…she fucking cornered me and it was a moment of weakness.”

I laughed in his face, “More like a moment of stupidity. Let me guess, she offered a few lines to you with her mouth wrapped around your dick again?”

Nikki took the glass of wine out of my hand before pulling me towards him, “I am sorry, okay? I messed up. I listened to the wrong person. I made a horrible mistake. I promise darling, I’m not going anywhere. I’m done leaving. I should have never went back there to begin with, should’ve made the lawyers fly out here.”

I felt his hand wrap around mine as his thumb brushed over my bruised knuckles, “How do I know that Nikki? That you just won’t leave again? That I won’t have to think of some bullshit reason to tell Ari why you aren’t here.”

“Because I’m not going anywhere Van, I swear to god I’m not leaving again. I’m not leaving unless you and her come back home with me. Brandi’s gone, princess. It’s done. She used coke because she knows it’s one of my weaknesses right after you.”

“Why does she have such a hold on you Nikki? I saw the pictures in the magazine. You two looked so happy.” I felt my chest get heavy as tears started building up.

Nikki kissed the back of my palm, “Those pictures were a bunch of lies doll, you have to believe me Vanity. I had to stay at a hotel for a few days after cause I felt so…so fake and wrong. I just wanted to hide and disappear from the world.”

Nikki wiped my cheek with a finger, “Why didn’t you come back to me right after that? You could’ve came here Nikki.”

I saw tears in his hazel eyes, “I-I was scared. Scared that the weeks I spent here with you and her was too good to be true. That all of this was happening again. It’s us Vanity, when are the cards ever in our favor?”

“We have some pretty shitty cards dealt for us, huh?” I laugh as I wipe his tears from the corner of his eye, “Please stop hurting me.” I begged him as I cupped his jaw, feeling the muscle relax underneath, “I’d wait forever for you, Sixx. I’m stupid for doing it, but I would do it in every universe.”

Nikki frowned, “I know. I know. I won’t, I promise. Please…please don’t take me out of yours and her lives. I want to be apart of it.”

“Nikki, that’s all based on your behavior. Not mine.”

He nodded, “Okay, fine. Where…where can I start? What do you want me to do.” He was acting like an attentive puppy waiting for his next treat.

“Can you get Arianna ready for bed?”

Nikki laughed, “How hard could that even be?”

*Nikki’s POV*

I had chased Arianna round the house for the past hour, even tripping and almost falling over rugs and her toys that were every where. I chased Arianna into her room as she laughed her ass off. No, this wasn’t a fun game of chase.

“Arianna, time for bed. Now!” I grabbed her as she started laughing more. I carried her to her bedroom before pulling down her blankets and putting her in bed.

“You aren’t the boss of me!” She said, kicking the blankets off and attempting to get out of bed. I’d be willing to let her but it was already nine at night.

I lightly pressed on her shoulders, putting her Back down, “Arianna, do you want me to use my mean voice? Bed, now. Or you won’t like it when you don’t get any cookies or TV tomorrow.”

Her big brown eyes turned to saucers, “You’re being a poo poo head!” She shouted, tugging the blanket away from my hand.

“Yeah, and you’re being a brat. Go to sleep.” I realized that was too harsh when her bottom lip quivered.

“You’re being mean!” She pouted as she grabbed her stuffed animal and turned on her side and faced the wall.

“Goodnight angel.” I muttered before turning off her ceiling light and plugging in her night light, “Or demon.” I whispered as I stepped out of her room and closed the door.

I walked into the kitchen, seeing Vanity downing some whiskey. She had just taken her pain pills not even thirty minutes ago, “Maybe you need help. Rehab or something.” I told her softly as she shook her head and put the bottle back in the fridge

“Van, you got into a car accident. We’re lucky this wasn’t another Razzle incident….” I trailed off as she stared at me in disbelief.

“Nik, it was just a fluke accident. Plus, the person in front of me was driving like an idiot. I’m fine.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Fluke accident? Vanity, I ended up dying and coming back. If I had someone tell me then I wouldn’t have gone through all that. And you especially wouldn’t have had to find me in my closet after.”

Vanity rolled her eyes, “Literally everyone did tell you to slow down…”

“And did I listen? No, I was too late and I was lucky to come back from it. Don’t you get it doll?”

She huffed and puffed, “You’re being dramatic. I’m not going to die. I don’t over do it like you. Jason just had a bad batch that was mixed with…” I waited for her to say it, “He gave me blow that was mixed with smack.”

”Oh, speedballs. Next thing you know you’ll be freebasing.” I retorted as she let out a gasp, “I would never do that! Listening to you and reading those journals you had were scary.”

I chuckled, “Scary? Well, seems like you’ll be looking for something more intense soon enough. It’d be a shame to make Arianna go through what you went through with me.”

Vanity shook her head, “I would never go out looking for something stronger and I would never do that to Arianna.” She defended herself as this argument was now becoming amusing to me.

“That’s what I said too. You know, you act as if I was never a drug addict. She’s not gonna be able to tell you to stop, she’s a kid Van. I had to watch my mom do this shit.”

She glared at me, “Because I’m not an addict like you Nikki. I’m not hiding in closets and I never do this stuff around her. Yeah, Jason comes over but we don’t do drugs here.”

I shook my head, “A guy you shouldn’t even be associating with in the first place! He’s bad fucking news, Van.”

“What are you? My fucking dad?” Vanity snapped quickly as we stared at one another.

“Fine, do whatever the hell you want. I’m gonna go find a hotel and I’ll be back in the morning.” I grabbed my jacket off the chair as I walked past her, “Goodnight V.” I spat out hastily as I opened up the front door.

I felt her hand wrap around my wrist as I hung my head down low and exhaled, “What? We’re just pissing each other off. You’re on edge because you were forced to detox at the hospital and not thinking rationally. You really want to argue more, Vanity?”

She shook her head as her hand moved to mine, holding it tightly, “I want you to stay with me, please?”

My eyes met hers, seeing the pain and vulnerability in them, “I’ll relax, okay? I’m fine. I just want you to stay with us. You’ve been gone way to long.”

She pulled me inside, walking backwards as she played with the rings on my fingers, “You relax too. I can tell you’re upset.”

I pulled my hand away from her, “Van, why do you think I’m upset? Clementine called me saying you were in the hospital? Do you even have a clue what I thought was wrong? That maybe Arianna would be without a mother and I wouldn’t have you anymore? Do you know how terrifying that is for me? You’ve been the only constant, besides the band in my life. You’re all I have Vanity…and I already had to experience life without you and I don’t want to do it again.” I sat down on the couch as she sat down next to me, her back resting against the arm as she looked at me.

“I’m fine Nikki.” I shook my head, “No you are not. You aren’t fine and you haven’t been fine for a while. Is this…is this because of me? You doing this to yourself. The drugs? The drinking? Hanging around Jason?”

Vanity played with the ends of her hair, picking off dry blood as she looked at me, “I don’t know…” I rested my hand on her knee, brushing my thumb across her skin, “It’s…it’s not because of you. It’s because of the hurt and the pain you cause. I’m high and I don’t think or feel it. It numbs it..”

I laid my head against the back of the couch, “Have you gone to your therapist lately? If you don’t want to go to rehab then you need to be going to therapy.”

“No, I haven’t.” She mumbled as I groaned.

“Vanity, you need too! I’ll make an appointment for you.” I looked at her, seeing her staring down at her nails until I put my hand under her chin to make her look at me, “I think you need to come back home. You live where there’s a dealer around every corner and back alley. You’ll never get clean here.”

Her eyebrows tightened together, “I’m not leaving New York.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want too!” She quietly shouted, “Arianna was born here, this is all she’s known, Nikki.” She expressed her concerns as I listened.

“I understand that, but don’t you think she’d love to see the ocean? Be near me instead of only flying out when I can? She’s a kid Van, she can adjust. I think it’s only you who doesn’t want to come back home.” Vanity looked away from me, wiping her cheeks as I kissed the top of her knee before resting my chin against it.

“Then I’ll fly her out to see you or something. There’s an ocean here too, ya know? You moved around so many times as a kid and look what it did to you. I don’t want that for her.”

“I’m move here, then.”

Her lips parted, “You can’t move here. Everything for you is in Los Angeles, the band, the music. Not New York Nikki, no. I won’t let you do that.”

“Fuck the band, Vanity! I have enough money to not need the band for a while. I want you and I want our daughter, nothing else. I want you.” I told her as she wiped her tears away again and looked at me, “I want you the only way I know you. I want you to be okay again, to be a good mom and to be my best friend. If you don’t want to be my girl just yet, fine. Arianna can just take your place.”

Vanity broke out into a beautiful smile, “The only girl that’s ever allowed to to take my place.” She rested her hand against my jaw, thumb grazing over my cheek, “I still love you Nikki.”

“I still love you more.”

I let out a sigh, I guess we'll save the coming back home argument for another day.

*A few days later, Vanity’s POV*

“Mommy..” I opened up my eyes, glancing over at the clock and saw that it was seven in the morning, “Daddy’s making breakfast and I don’t want to eat it.”

I chuckled, sitting up carefully and resting my shoulder against the pillow, “And whys that?”

She shrugged, “Cause he’s a poo poo head and he’s being mean to me.”

I stared at her, brushing her messy hair out of her face “Quit calling him that Ari. You know, you’re probably hurting his feelings. He said he was sorry, you’re being stubborn like me.”

“I am not stu-stubborn!” She defended herself as she crossed her arms over her chest and gave me the stink eye.

I grabbed her and put her off to the side as I got out of bed, “Let’s go get ready for school and then you’re eating whatever your dad made.” Arianna crawled out of my bed as she started running to her room, “Am not!!” I followed her and went to her closet to pick out an outfit.

“Get dressed and I’ll do your hair after you eat breakfast.” I repeated myself, “No!!!” I chuckled as her tiny hands pushed me out of her bedroom.

I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen seeing Chef Sixx attempting to flip pancakes, “Ow! Fucking piece of shit!” He shouted as the bacon popped oil onto him as he turned it.

“Need some help?” I asked him as he turned around to look at me, laughing as he did so

“Ha! Yeah right! I’m not letting you anywhere near this until it’s done. I’m not eating burnt bacon or doughy pancakes.” He continued to laugh as he started cracking eggs in a bowl before whisking them.

“I’ve learned to cook.” I mumbled as I sat down on the barstool, Nikki handing me a cup of coffee right after.

“Two sugars and a lot of creamer, right?” He questioned a smile on his face as he held up the spatula. I nodded and took a sip.

“How was the couch?” My lips tugged in a crooked smile as he had an unamused expression on his face.

“It was fine. Would prefer to keep your bed warm. But…it was fine.” Nikki exasperated, “I had Arianna’s fairy blanket to keep me warm since you didn’t give me a blanket or a pillow.”

I looked at Nikki, taking another sip of coffee “You didn’t ask for anything last night. So how am I suppose to know?”

Nikki scoffed as he turned towards the stove and continued cooking, “Keep it up and you won’t get any of this.”

I shook my head, “Not hungry anyways.” I smiled when Arianna came out into the kitchen, glaring at Nikki as she climbed up on the barstool next to me.

“Well too bad, you’re gonna eat. You’re too skinny still.” Nikki stares as he put a plate of mini blueberry pancakes, eggs and bacon in front of Arianna.

“Am not.” I told him as I watched Arianna push the plate away from her, “Are too. Your ass is getting smaller.”

Jeez, thanks asshole. As if I can’t see the weight loss when I look in the mirror.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, “Eat your breakfast Ari so we can finish getting ready.”

She stuck her nose up, turning her head away, “I’m not eating that. It’s gross.”

I sighed, “How would you know that? You haven’t even taken a bite yet. Eat, now.”

“It’s gross cause he made it.” She spoke in a matter of fact type of tone, sticking her tongue out at Nikki, “Can I have cereal? I don’t want it.”

Nikki put a plate in front of me, “Look, I’ll eat mine if you eat yours.” I took a bite of the pancakes, moaning as they were good, “Holy crap.” I started shoveling them into my mouth. We’re they that good? Probably not. But I can’t remember the last time I ate something sufficient.

“Can I have yours?” I looked at Ari as she tried reaching for my bacon until I handed it to her, “Babe, you’re eating the same thing as me.” I chuckled as she took her own little pink fork and took a bite from my pancakes.

“I’m gonna go freshen up.” Nikki muttered as he tried smiling at Arianna who still returned a mean little glare towards him. He frowned before leaving the kitchen.

“You know…you can’t be mad at him forever.” I told Arianna as she started eating off her own plate.

“Yes I can.” She stared at me, “…not nice.” She said, mouth full of sugary syrup and pancakes as I shook my head.

“Daddy’s nice and you know it. You’re not being nice to him, calling daddy mean names and not talking to him. He loves you Ari and he’s sorry for what he did.”

“Fine. No more poo poo head.” She giggled before she continued eating. I kissed her forehead before hopping off the chair. I walked down the hallway, yawing as I headed to my bedroom to straighten up and get dressed for the day.

After the morning routine was over and Arianna was ready for the day, she wanted her hair braided with one of her pink bows at the end of it. I slipped on a pair of shoes and slipped a jacket over my shoulders, wincing at the discomfort of putting my arm back in the sling.

“You could ask for help..” Nikki said, watching me struggle before coming over and helping anyways.

“Thanks.” I muttered, “Ari, you ready to go?” I asked her as she climbed off the couch and grabbed her backpack.

Arianna looked up at me and Nikki, “Will you walk me to my class?” She asked Nikki as he smiled at her before patting the top of her head, “Of course I will.”

When we arrived at her school a little while later, Arianna gave me a big kiss goodbye handing her a pink lunchbox right after, “I’ll pick you up later, okay?” I told her as she nodded and grabbed Nikki’s hand, tugging him towards the doors. I got back in the car, sitting down as I listened to the radio.

I glanced over seeing Nikki’s wallet was dropped on the floorboard. I reached down and grabbed it. I looked towards the doors and chuckled to myself. His wallet was stuffed full of cash. He’s such a hypocrite sometimes. He use to give me crap for always carrying around a lot of loose bills. I looked through his credit cards, he’s gotten two new ones that were a nice shiny black. I smiled at his goofy identification card, seeing him try to force a half assed smile. Nikki also had a guitar pick tucked inside the folds. A piece of paper was sticking out, but I realized it wasn’t a paper it was a picture. A picture of me and Arianna that Nikki had took when we spent the day at the boardwalk.

Through the tinted windows, I saw him coming back outside as I quickly stuffed the picture back in and tossed his wallet onto the seat, “Oh there it is. Thought I forgot it at your place.” Nikki grinned as he put his wallet in his back pocket.

“We have some where to be.” Nikki explained as he started driving away from the school.

I briefly glanced over, “Oh yeah? Where are we going?”

Nikki smiled at me, “You, Vanity Blackwood, have an appointment with your therapist.”

The smile fell from my face, turning into a scowl as I contemplated opening the door and jumping out, “You’re joking, right? Nikki c’mon.” I whined as I slumped back into the chair.

“Told you I was making you an appointment sweets. Did you think I was lying? You’re going and I’m gonna sit in there with you.”

*a little while later*

We sat side by side, knees resting against each other as we waited for my therapist to come in. I had my elbow perched up on the arm of the leather couch as I rested my cheek against my fist, watching the clock tick by slowly.

Nikki’s arm was wrapped around the back of the couch, his hand lightly rubbing my shoulder, “What time does Ari get out of school?”

With a monotone voice, “Three.”

I could heard the deep breath of annoyance as he took his arm and hand away from me and places his hands on his knees as he leaned over and grabbed some candy.

My ears perked up when I heard the door open, “Oh! I didn’t know we’d be having guests today. I’m Dr. Lilian Watson. Vanity, it is so nice to see you.”

“Yep, I’m here.” My voice oozed sarcastic cheer as I rolled my eyes, “This is Nikki.” I motioned to him as they shook each other’s hands.

“Oh…the Nikki. Vanity, I see there’s been some progress. What brings you in? It’s been a while since I’ve talked to you.”

I rolled my eyes at both the therapist and at Nikki, “He’s forcing me to be here

“She needed to come and see you.” Nikki butted in as I shook my head, growing more and more irritated.

Dr Watson adjusted in her chair, pushing her glasses up her nose, “Well Nikki, can you tell me why you think she needs to be here?”

Nikki chuckled, “She dislocated her shoulder last week due to driving under the influence of booze and narcotics. Busted her head open and had a bloody nose as well which is why I’m in New York to help her out but she’s not being appreciative of it.”

“Yeah, I see the sling.” She wrote some things down as I side eyed Nikki, “So, were still using?”

I reached for the bowl of candy on the table, “Not since the accident.” I shrugged and stuffed some m&ms into my mouth, “Incase you can’t tell, I’m being watched like a hawk. But I did stop for a while before then and then continued once I started hanging out with Jason again.”

“Who you shouldn’t even be hanging out with after last time.” Nikki butted in as I glared at him.

“I’m sorry? Are you my fucking husband?” I snapped, watching his eyebrows raise in surprise before turning away from me with a light shake of the head in disbelief.

“What happened last time?”

I groaned, “This was a bad idea.” I mumbled, eyes rolling as I sighed, “Jason got physical with me at the bar and Nikki beat him up for it. But Nikki doesn’t have room to talk when he was off getting high with the wife he was suppose to be divorcing when he should have been with his daughter.”

“I’ve gone to meetings in my free time, Vanity. Unlike you who just sits on this guys dick and gets fucking high!” Nikki fought back as he glared at me.

“I don’t do that!” I yelled at Nikki, feeling myself get worked up and by the smirk on his face, he knew it too.

“Okay, okay. Let’s just relax?” Dr Watson took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, “I don’t specialize in couples therapy, so Nikki in your opinion, can you tell me where the issues root from?”

Before Nikki could respond, “We’re not a couple actually so you don’t need to use that phrase.” I pointed out, my tone was extremely bitchy as Nikki let out a hushed Wow.

“Oh yeah? So I’ve just been hanging out here and taking care of you and making sure you’re good for no reason?” Nikki looked at me, “Seriously, not a couple?!?”

“Well we aren’t!!!” I fought back, “How could you even think we’re together?! Because we almost fucked that night?! You aren’t my boyfriend and you for sure aren’t my damn husband!”

In a raucous tone, “You and your fucking ten million reasons why! I had to go back! How many times do I have to explain myself?! I didn’t want to go back!”

“Uh maybe you could of told her to fuck off like the countless times you’ve told me to fuck off!” I continued to argue, my voice becoming hoarse from all the yelling, “Cause it’s all about me and Arianna.” I mocked his voice before rolling my eyes

“Because it is!”

I scoffed, “What? For a few more weeks until you find some new ditzy playboy?!”

Dr Watson cleared her throat as I sunk back into the leather couch, “Okay, let’s take a few breaths to get rid of some of this anger.”

Nikki reached for a handful of candy, stuffing his cheeks until they turned pink, “I’m not angry.” He mumbled as I scooted away from him.

“How is Arianna?” The therapist exhaled deeply as she looked at us with a forced smile.

“She’s fine, trying to get used to someone-“ I glanced over at Nikki “being around again. She’s in kindergarten now and is doing wonderful.”

Nikki piped up, “She’s a great kid, takes after her mother so wonderfully well.” He shook his head as he glared at me. I attempted to speak but he continued, “Coke angry Vanity and all of her fuckin tantrums don’t need to show up when Arianna is around. I grew up with a mother who used so I know what it’s like.”

“Yeah Vanitys mentioned a thing or two about you and your own addictions.”

“I am still trying to over come them everyday. I go to meetings, talk to my sponsor. I actually try.”

“And here comes the sob story.”

If Nikki wasn’t angry before I said that, then he sure as hell was now, “Sob story?! Are you fucking kidding me!?” Nikki grabbed the pillow I was holding onto and flung it across the room, “Me almost killing myself is a god damn sob story to you?! Fuck you, Vanity! You should know better than that! Christ sake, you’re apart of that sob story!”

“Nikki, I didn’t-“

“Didn’t mean it?! You never mean anything because you never fuckin do anything wrong, right?! Little miss princess Vanity with all her millions and millions of oil money can do no harm because everything about you is so god damn perfect, right?!” Nikki shouted, making me flinch at his loudness.

“What have I ever done to you? Except fuck Tommy more than once? Fucked Slash? What have I ever done to hurt you?” I questioned him as he stared at me.

“More than once?!”

“You had intercourse with Slash?” Dr Watson seemed genuinely surprised.

Through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw, “You fucked Tommy? Again?! When! You said it was only one time!”

“I-I didnt… I didn’t…”

He arched an eyebrow, “Now you’re gonna lie about it?! Did you fuck him again or not? Tell me right now Vanity.”

“Vanity, it’s alright. Just be honest about it with Nikki. It’s always a smart thing to share your past sexual partners with your current one.”

“I’m not fucking him!” I pointed at Nikki, “I don’t want to touch him and I don’t want him touching me! He probably got some fucking disease from his little wife.”

Nikki was more outraged at the fact I would call him dirty then anything else I’ve been saying, “I am clean, Vanity! Unlike you since you like to hop from dick to fucking dick!”

I smacked his arm, “Don’t talk to me like that!”

“Hit me again Vanity. I promise you won’t like what I do.” Nikki threatened as I almost took him up on it.

“Okay! Okay, stop it!” Lillian raised her voice a tad before clearing her throat, “Vanity, just be honest with Nikki. Nobody is hitting anyone."

“I slept with Tommy when he first came to New York, when he found me. I was emotional and he was there for me. You should be happy he was there for me Nikki!”

He laughed, “Happy?! Happy that my best friend stuck his cock in you?! Why should I be happy that you opened your fucking legs for him again?!”

“So clearly the issues run deep..” The doctor mumbled as I stared at Nikki with tears in my eyes, “I am sorry!”

“Sorry for what exactly?! Sleeping with my best friend? Running from me because of what I did? Sticking a needle into your god damn arm? Or keeping Arianna from me out of spite?!”

“Out of spite? None of this is out of spite, Sixx! None of it!” I cried to him as he shook his head, running a ringed hand over this face.

“Really?! So five years you just couldn’t call or write or fuckin mention we have a kid! Had to find out from coming back here and bumping into you out of luck!”

I looked away from him and at the therapist, “It wouldn’t be hard if he stopped fucking up! Do you know how many times I’ve had to deal with his shit! To pick up the pieces of what he’s done!! Maybe instead of shoving shit up your nose and crying over me like Tommy said you were, you should’ve tried a bit harder!”

Nikki was at his wits end with me, “Tried?! I fucking called your mother every god damn day! I wrote a fucking letter to you only for it to be sent back to the house! Don’t tell me I didn’t try! I would’ve gotten on my god damn knees for you! You were the one that didn’t try! You say I tossed you to the side, no! You fucking tossed me to the side! You left me! You fucking left without a trace! Left everything behind! Everything we had together like I was fucking nothing to you!” I watched him as I saw tears falling down his reddened cheek as he continued yelling his frustrations at me.

“You left me, Vanity. I wanted to fix it. You said it would have been better for us if I had just fucking died when I overdosed. Do you have any clue how that made me felt? How that simple sentence ripped my heart to shreds. I would’ve been satisfied with just your siblings or your mom telling me I was going to be a father. You knew how bad I wanted to be a dad, to have a family with you, to watch you carry my child. You chose to be selfish, Vanity.”

Our eyes stayed locked on one another as we sat in a silence that was choking me, “I’m not selfish.”

“Bullshit Vanity.” Nikki croaked as his tongue stuck out to lick away salty tears at the corner of his lips, “It’s always about you and what you want. You wanted to keep her away from me, you said you could keep going as a single parent not that long ago but I’m sure you would just keep paying Clementine to babysit her.”

“I never wanted to keep her from you!” My soft expression quickly turned into a scowl, “Do not bring Clem into this! She’s done nothing but help me!”

“Clementine practically takes care of her half the time while you’re off doing god knows what, Van! Don’t you see that?! I’d love to see how to it would’ve went if you didn’t find anyone.”

My eyes narrowed at him, “I’d be able to do it by myself! I don’t need you or anyone.”

My eyes stayed glued to his before I looked away when Dr Watson had put her notebook down, “I think we might be done with this session…”

“Yeah. That’s enough.” Nikki muttered as he fixed his shirt and grabbed his jacket from the table.

“Like I said, I’m not a couples therapist. But I think there’s a lot that needs to be uh, mended.”

He laughed, “No shit.” I quickly swatted his side, “Don’t be a dick. Thank you Dr Watson."

“Yeah, Thanks Watson.” Nikki spoke gruffly as we both started walking to the door, the therapist closing it right after us.

Nikki quickly grabbed my hand as he pulled me down the hallway. I saw his head shaking as he mumbled my name and profanities under his breath, “Ow, Sixx.” I winced as his rings were pinching my skin, “You’re hurting my hand.” I attempted to pull away from his grasp, he looked at me before opening up a door and shoving me inside, “What the fuck is your issue?!” I yelled as he flipped on the switch and slammed the door shut, blocking me from leaving even if I wanted too.

Nikki stepped closer to me, “You have a lot of fucking nerve acting like that in there.” I took a step back and bumped into the trash can Before I grabbed the counter of the bathroom to balance myself, “Just sitting there talking shit about Nikki and all the bad things he’s done to you.”

“I wasn’t talking shit!” I argued back, “And you started it! I was ready to have a nice peaceful session but no, you had to go and open your fucking-“ I instantly stopped talking when he closed the distance between us, roughly grasping my chin in the palm of his hand.

“There you go again! Blaming everything on me! Maybe if you weren’t such a fucking bitch I wouldn’t have to be an asshole to you! You ever think of that one, princess!?” Nikki forcefully pressed his lips to mine causing me to wince against the friction. Teeth scraping against my skin as I soon tasted a drop of blood on our lips, with a breath being deprived from my lungs as Nikki wrapped his hand around my throat, lightly squeezing as he did so.

I tried reaching for a fistful of his hair, on instinct alone his free hand captured mine in his as he held it behind my back. My nails scratched and pinched at his hand only for him to tighten his grip around my neck. A shaky, girly moan escaped through my lips as he took a step back, hand still wrapped around my throat as he broke out in an arrogant grin. His thumb traced over my bottom lip, wiping away the blood before he took it away and sucked it off himself.

I wrapped my fingers into his hair, roughly yanking his head down to continue the heated kiss. My tongue ran over his lip, before gently tugging on it with pearly whites. Nikki groaned as he placed his hands on my hips before his fingers found the button and zipper of my jeans. I pulled away from him, shoving his hands from me as I attempted to push my pants down. I let out a yelp before slapping my hand over my mouth when Nikki roughly grabbed me by my hair and dragged me to him, holding brunette strands by the root as he tilted my head back and pressed soft simple pecks to the front of my neck, “Let’s see if you remember who the fuck you belong too.”

The deep baritone of his voice sent chills down my spine as well as heat straight to my core. I tried to kiss him again but he refused to let me. His hand found my throat again, needy whimpers escaping. I followed his lips, mere inches from one another as his nose brushed against mine, “Nikki…” a pleading moan came from me as he chuckled darkly in return. His sage colored eyes were making my skin crawl in the best kinda way, knowing he was planning, thinking some of the most dirtiest things. I let my hands wander, landing on a silver buckle as I undid it and let it hang loosely on his hips.

Nikki backed me up until I hit the sink counter. He towered over me. one hand at the base of my neck, forcing me to keep eyes on him. I felt cold rings running down my body as he pulled the thin blue fabric down from between my legs.. An attempt to squeeze my thighs together due to the coolness failed when Nikki brought an open palm down on my ass. I closed my eyes before looking back up at him.

“Look at those pretty eyes just begging for me. Thought you didn’t need me, Princess?” I frowned at his words only for him to let out a laugh. His middle finger traced over my lip as I welcomed it, letting my tongue roll over the rough pad before sucking on the tip. Nikki added another finger to the mix, middle and ring now as I gave it the same treatment, “Dirty fucking girl.” He smirked in my face as he took his fingers from my mouth and placed them between my legs. My head tried dropping to watch what he was doing only for him to yank me by my hair, “Eyes on me. Only me.”

My lips parted when his fingers skillfully invaded my body, knuckle fucking deep. It was abrupt and sudden when his fingers began moving at a fast pace inside of me, fingers curling at just the right spot. The vulgarity of the sound of his palm slapping against my body bounced off the tranquil and zen picture frames that hanged on the wall.

“O-oh my god.” My voice was reduced to a whimper as he finally let his lips meet mine. I rested my hand on his shoulder, fingers gripping the hem of his shirt as I broke the kiss, “Nikki!! Fu-fuck!” I cried out for him, feeling him push another finger inside of me as he poked and prodded at the bundle of nerves inside of me. My eyes screwed shut, feeling them roll into the back of my head behind closed lids as I felt myself fall off the edge of pleasure.

“That’s it baby. Come apart for me, let me get a fucking taste.” Nikki relentlessly abused my insides until his hand was drenched with sticky wetness. I attempted to regain composure, pushing hair out of my face as I watched him suck and lick his fingers clean. Tattooed fingers engulfed themselves around chocolate strands of hair as he pulled my face towards his, warm and soft lips finding mine.

“Still taste so god damn sweet baby girl.” Nikki moaned as he grabbed me by my hips, roughly pulling me away from him before bending me over the counter, hair tangled in a fist as my cheek laid against the cool tile.

I closed my eyes, attempting to catch my breath as I listened to the sound of a zipper being pulled down followed by a sickening slap against my skin. I chewed on my bottom lip as I brought my head up, “Watch me.” Nikki growled as he yanked my head up a bit more. His free hand was wrapped around the base of his cock, giving long and slow strokes to himself.

My lips parted with a silent moan that never tumbled out as I felt Nikki press the tip to my entrance before pushing in. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I felt him fill me, completely. I noticed his bangs covering his eyes, but I could tell he was looking down at the intrusion of my body.

“O-oh fuck, Van.” Nikki moaned, sliding his cock out slowly slowly before sliding back into me “Fuck me.” He groaned, taking his hand away from my hair and digging his fingers into my hip His pace started increasing as his hips smacked against my bottom, fucking me harder and deeper.

Tattooed fingers found themselves curled over my shoulder, nails roughly scraping at my skin. My hips naturally started rocking into each of his thrusts, feeling my insides clench around his throbbing length. I closed my eyes, moans of his names falling off my tongue. An arm of his snaked around my body with a hand dipping underneath my shirt as he grabbed my tits, finger tips pinching and twisting my nipples.

“You feel so good, Nikki.” I breathed out, feeling his hand twist into my hair again. My neck crained back, his lips press against my forehead as he thrusted into me hilt deep. He moved my hair to the side, pressing rough and wet opened mouth kisses to my shoulder before nipping at the soft and delicate skin.

“You still take my cock so well, Princess. So fucking tight and wet for me. So…fuckin perfect.” Nikki breathed into my ear, nibbling gently as he did so. I turned my head just a bit, letting my lips find his before he broke the kiss and pulled out of me.

Nikki dragged me into a stall, making the door bang against the hinges as he sat down and pulled me over his hips.

“This isn’t sanitary.” I mumbled, “Ow!” A rude and sharp slap against my ass cheek ended all complaints I had.

“…don’t give a fucking shit.” Nikki stated in a husky tone as he gripped my hips, fingers digging into the skin roughly. I wrapped my hand around his throbbing member as I hovered over him, slowly sliding down onto it before I gripped his shoulder.

Pornographic moans fell from both of our lips as he buried himself inside of me. I started grinding my hips into his, feeling Nikki accommodate himself in the most delicious way. Nikki Sixx being the only man to ever do so.

Nikki cupped my jaw, pulling my face towards his as our lips touched in a slow and deliberate kiss. His tongue found mine as I tasted the fruity gum he was chewing on. His hips started thrusting up into me at a slow pace, “You feel that baby?” Nikki broke the kiss, his bright green eyes borrowing holes into mine. I nodded my head in a sheepish manner, “That’s all yours.”

I wrapped my free arm around his shoulder, leaning into his chest as I focused on his movements inside of me. He reached between our bodies, fingers dancing around my clit at a rapid pace. I closed my eyes, feeling myself clench around him. I knew he was close too by the way he twitched inside of me.

“Go on baby, cum all over this fuckin cock. Let me have it.” Nikki’s voice was strained as he tried holding off to let me hit my peak first.

“Nik-“ I moaned loudly, only for Nikki to put his hand over my mouth when the bathroom door opened up. My eyes rolled as he continued to thrust into me at a slower pace, smirking at me when I felt myself cum as I moaned into his hand.

“Shit..” Nikki whispered as he pulled out of me, taking his cock into his hand and giving himself a few rough pumps before he hit his end. I sat in his lap still, watching him jack himself off for a few more minutes until he relaxed onto the toilet he was perched up on.

We both heard the water start running as whoever came into the bathroom was singing to themselves, “Look.” Nikki whispered as he wrote ‘V&N’ on the stall with his own cum. I covered my mouth to keep my laughter in as I shoved his shoulder playfully.

“So romantic.” I mouthed before getting off his lap and pulling up my jeans and panties. I stepped out of the stall, the other woman smiling at me through the mirror as I washed my hands and fixed my unruly hair, wincing when my fingers brushed past my scalp. The women was taking her sweet time as she started checking her make up and fixing her own hair so I decided to leave the bathroom and waited out in the hallway.

My eyes went wide when I heard yelling coming from the bathroom, “Sorry!” Nikki yelled back as he stepped out of the bathroom, glaring at me, “I thought she left! Not you!” He shook his head at me as he reached for my hand.

“So, you wanna grab some food?” He questioned as he held the office door open for me and we stepped outside.

I wrapped my hand around his bicep as we walked to my car, "Yeah, I would like that." I smiled up at him, Nikki lowering his head down to give me a quick peck on the lips.

Nikki helped me into the car, closing it as I was situated. He started driving to wherever he decided to take us. He rested his hand on my thigh as I intertwined our fingers together.

I hope this meant good things were coming for us.

#the dirt #motley crue #nikki sixx #the dirt movie #the dirt book #the dirt fanfic #motley crue fanfic #nikki sixx fanfic #the dirt fanfiction #motley crue fanfiction #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx imagine #motley crue imagine #nikki sixx smut #sixx #crueheads #crue #motley #90s #80s #glam metal #hair metal #lauren jauregui #fanfictions #stories #writing #the dirt imagine #douglas booth! nikki sixx #douglas booth!nikki sixx fanfic #douglas booth! nikki sixx fanfiction

[iyliss]

have you been playing Duel Links much? What do you think of the new content?? Stay safe and take it easy!

Thanks a lot for sending an ask!! and for the nice words.I am technically safe if that’s anyone’s concern, but Im going through a quite terrible time. Probably gonna put it in the tags because it’s quite hard (at least for me) but it feels strange avoiding to say it. Anyone thanks for helping making me thing about something else. Im probably gonna talk a whole lot, sorry in advance. I started playing duel links when it launched. I remember it was when I was in new year holydays with my mom and her partner in a little place in the mountain we rented for a few days. It may sound silly but that’s one of the new year I remember the best. Just chilling near a fire with nice food and playing dl while it’s all silent. And I think I played it quite a bit at first? I was bad but trying. Soon enough they added Bakura too so like. I was all the more invested. But then i believe my interest in dm started to wear off, and I played less and less. Sometimes to grab an event character, quickly not at all. Got back to it when gx entered but I don’t think I was super there either. Like I stopped when i unlocked Edo and Asuka and that’s about it. I still came back when there was event for new characters and all. And then Saiou was leaked. I remember when it happened, I was at one friend place when I receive this from another friend and let me tell you I spend a good few hours just hitting the sofa i was on with my arm for how happy I was (my happiest stimming is like a hitting movement, and i prefer doing it on surface im sure i wont break. the only 3 time I remember doing it was for my birthday, here, and when we rewatched s2 with my friend). And yeah Saiou kind of made me get back into it real hard. I HAD to complete the whole event from day 1 to the end. Also they soon enough added darklords and fabled and well guess who had to make Levianing canon haha. Darklords were still so fun, playing it on dl really helped me understand how to play it IRL. I still can’t believe I unlocked every single thing about Saiou, all of his levels, all of his skills. I even played some ranked. Since then Ive been mostly playing for new content? This time with the added interest of dialogues between interesting characters, tag duel, and little content like this. I am even more doing it that my friend stopped playing so i kind of provide for the both of us. I started Zexal World, and I’ll probably try getting kotori and then go back to waiting for various event?

And yeah I am so happy to see Zexal world! I really can’t wait to have more content for them all, and also to reach later series and qldfjd rn there isn’t that much characters but I am very hyped for dialogues between all of them. Also also, o’brian is coming it’s nice!! i just hope they fix darklord bug cuz I am not really interested in playing any other deck (maybe I should actually try making a decent Arcana Force one?). Also thinking about what’s to come, I wonder what personnality they’ll give to Sora. Since it seems to stay as close to early canon as possible to avoid spoilers, i guess it’ll be his childish personnality but... I kinda want to see him more as his neutral later self in a non world-ending situation? I want to be sure he’s doing good ;w; Also please put Zone and Aporia I want them to talk even if it’ll be horrible.

Though I don’t think Ill go back to heavily play it until there is a character im really interested in. Maybe Astral on his own though I don’t super like his deck. For sure though, Ill max out Thomas, or Aporia since they should be the first one to come between the character Im really, really excited for. thought I also want to see Sherry for her dialogues with Aki. and Antinomy of course. And fubuki (hopefully not as darkness it’d be more fun). And for Zexal pretty much everyone would be awesome lol. Oh also. I have not hope but. I can’t help to imagine if they added 1) crossover dialogues (but of course none of my fav will be concerned im sure ;w;) 2) an unpossessed Saiou. probably s4. like i know it won’t happen but it’d be so damn nice. Like first of because FINALLY I can play a game without feeling like im entertaining the light and hurting Saiou. Second because saiou s4 is damn cool. Third because i want to see him interact and god imagine s4 saiou talking with Edo? ;w; And uh. uh. they didnt put all the arcana force yknow. okay i know i know, the world and the fool just won’t be good to put in a game like dl but.... and those non-used voicelines..... Anyway, thank you! I hope I wasnt too boring.

#Lis answers #so uh #my cat is dying she's suffering and she will probably be gone anytime soon #the best I can hope for is that she suffers as few as possible #and then soon she'll be gone #forever #i don't think i can put to words how bad i feel #what's for sure is I won't be able to sleep tonight and I just have to go through that however I can #until I am not alone #but I love her so much #so much #I don't know how ill be able to live without her

[glasyasbutch]

Based on this post. 

im gonna do what rebekah did and discuss the potential of oc /oc ships. However i have 10 of them on this blog and i will not be doing this 45 times so im limiting myself to active ocs only, which puts me at 16, which is still a lot but this blog is for me and im a slut for my own characters. (I tried to do it in the tags but tumblr cut me off cause its lesbophobic.) lets get crackin.

gildy/anyone: no. thats grandma. now this isn't to say that i won't ship gildy with anyone; i have before and will again; but it's got to be someone her own age which no other oc is close to (rip to that one npc who made magic ceramics in her first campaign that i was tryna date before the campaign fell apart)  Verdict: No Cradle Robbing

craving/tov: oh GOD it would go so bad . they both hate themselves so much and manifest it as a brusque aggressiveness they'd fucking attack each other within hours. even a one night stand might be pushing the limits of their patience. Verdict: Do Not Recommend

craving/ezra: i would LOVE to watch these two sit down and talk about philosophy; because they have genuinely the exact opposite takes on life. they both got dunked on and had someone important taken from them at a young age and craving said FUCK IT im gonna be mean since the world hates me and ezra said FUCK IT im gonna be nice and hope the world loves me back eventually. and it would be so fucking interesting to see them try and convince the other why they're right. however. should not date. Verdict: Bad Romantic Material

craving/nissy: this would go literally the exact same way as nissy and zier. like the ExACT same way. they'd find each other attractive at first; make it a few weeks or something; the sexiness would wear off and they'd find each other insufferable but Not want to break up because they're stubborn and also getting something out of dating the other one. (craving likes that nissy's rich and also his cool shadow guy; nissy likes that craving's all about 'fuck the system' and also maybe a teensy little bit is into the idea of getting a glasya pact too). if they were to meet nakoria in this universe they also would both fuck her and then not tell the other about it. Verdict: Hilarious But Unsustainable.

craving/ebbie: i literally can't even conceptualize this. i c. i can't. i think ebbie would be genuinely terrified of craving. Verdict: No.

craving/roona: Ohhhhhhhh YES baby. mischief squad in the fucking HOUSE. they would get along absolutely fantastically i think. No impulse control, so many crimes! neither of them would really be ones to try and make it work long term but they'd have a fucking AMAZING couple months together and part on good terms. Plus craving has a thing for short girls Verdict: Good Short Term Ship.

tov/ezra: other people would ship them because they have such similar vibes. but i dont think either of them necessarily would want to date for exactly that reason. now you might say but didnt tov fall in love with savra because they have similar backstories? yes BUT they're at very different points in their recovery. ezra and tov are too close. come back to it once both their campaigns are over and they might make a very sweet couple. Verdict: Slow Burn 250k Words

tov/nissy: i feel like tov would take one look at nissy and kind of just. leave. nissy would be into tov tho. he likes the rugged bad boy vibes. he'd think he was mysterious and handsome. and we know he seems to have a thing for sorcerers. Verdict: One Sided Crush

tov/ebbie: they'd get along Really well but it'd be more of a mentor/mentee dynamic. they both like to build things and want to find simple softness in the world but don't trust that they can have it. ebbie has a much more excited and babbly demeanor bc he's a Loud Anxious and tov is much more laid back and calmer because he’s a Quiet Anxious. tov would see him as a kid that’s probably gonna turn out ok, but i dont know if he’d really be able to tell that ebbie’s got some fucked up in there. ebbie would be way better at seeing through tov’s walls, and would follow him around almost like a lost dog bc tov like. Actually Gets Him and he wants to learn as much as he can and you know what if there’s a baby crush there, there’s a baby crush there. Verdict: I Hate To Say It But This One’s A Notice Me Senpai

tov/roona: roona would call tov a narc within 30 seconds of meeting him and any Possible feelings on his end would die instantly. Roona would be far more into teasing him than into him. It’d be a cute dynamic where they act like they can’t stand each other and insist that they’re not even friends but like when it comes down to it, they have a fairly good time together and will defend each other against anyone else trying to fuck with them. Bonus Points for them both being super gullible.  Verdict: Only I Get To Be Mean To Them

ezra/nissy: on paper, they’re both like trying to be heroic good guys and struggling a little bit, so they should get along. But like in practice. Oh my god. they couldn’t fucking STAND each other but they’d have to because they’re trying to do the same things more or less and like, Ezra is trying SO HARD to find selflessness in Nissy and Nissy is trying SO HARD to make Ezra care literally At All about himself, and anyone who interacts with them trying to adventure is kinda just like uh ...... you know i’ll just wait while you two work this out. Verdict: Buddy Cop Dynamic

ezra/ebbie: i really don’t have strong feelings about this one like, i think they’d get along fine. they’re both just kinda dudes trying to do good and they’d vibe with each other but they’re not quite as similar as ebbie and tov to have any kind of strong dynamic. it’s like when two bus drivers wave at each other while passing in the street and its like YAHOO for one second and then they’ve passed each other. Verdict: If You’re Into Bland Ships To Self Project On

ezra/roona: very good friendship dynamic here. ezra knows that there’s good in roona and is content to wait with her while it worms its way out, and roona is glad to have someone to check her and occasionally get talked into doing some stupid shit. ezra gets a new baby sister, roona gets a second vinny. Verdict: It’s Familiar But Not Too Familiar

nissy/ebbie: ajskdfjsdjfisdjfsakfdjfdsakljfisaodf sadfkdsajfasdjfasfsdfjsiof hsadfjsdfsahfsdfjsdoifhsdf Verdict: Hhsdfkjasdhiuf 

ebbie/roona: so. ebbie has had to deal with an unstable 11 year old before, and keep her out of trouble, and roona has had a vinny to pull her out of bad situations before, so they like. Half understand the dynamic between them. Ebbie’s too much of a pushover though, or Roona’s too little of one, and so instead of like being a voice of reason that actually stops the bad ideas ebbie’s more just getting dragged into situation after situation that he is NOT comfortable and having to smooth everything over when all’s said and done. and like, they still enjoy each other’s company when they’re not in deep shit. they both lean pretty heavily towards same gender rather than not, so like they probably wouldn’t be into each other, but there’s a slight chance.   Verdict: Disney Channel Original Movie Protagonist + Scared Best Friend Dynamic

nissy/roona: you’d think it’d go badly, and by all accounts it should, but it doesn’t. nissy loves how spontaneous and wild roona is and loves the freer side of him that it brings out, and roona likes nissy’s careful intelligence that can be equally well applied to proper societal actions and also stupid pranks. low wis gang gets each other’s impulsiveness and doesn’t judge when things go wrong, but they’re always by each other’s sides to help get the other out of a pickle. they both stick out like sore thumbs in a crowd and don’t mind bouncing around from place to place because home isn’t really somewhere they want to head back to, but it’s alright, because they have consistency in each other. god fucking damn it i’m actually into this.  Verdict: Bastards In Love

#craving #tov #gildy #ezra #nissy #ebbie #roona #long post

[bedpissercastiel]

Who are your 5 top fanfiction writer blogs? Asking for a friend, and for some ficrecs

sorry for taking so long to respond! i'd like to say i was busy but i just didnt know what to say

i spent some time looking through who i follow bc i couldnt think of anyone off the top of my head (except shey) and created this clusterfuck of a list

here ya go, anon. i hope this shall suffice

1) @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

i suppose im a bit biased here considering me n her r close but i truly love her writing. her destiel fics? absolutely superb! everything she writes fucking captivates me!

2) @cutelittlekittykorner

they have some pretty solid works! i definitely recommend !! im not much into sabriel but i do somewhat enjoy their sabriel fics!! theyre really well written.

3) @b99peraltiago

if youre into brooklyn 99 id recommend them !!! i really like their writing style and just their writing in general. it's all so good and i love to read their works

4) @hnrywinchester

i just really think gabriel is neat! fare thee well has stuck w me ever since i spent a night reading it and it's just fuckin amazing. i'll probably read it again soon because it just resonated with me

5) @maggiemaybe160

ok im gonna be real here- my attention span is absolute garbage. fucking awful. i cannot keep my attention on one thing for more than five minutes tops unless im hyperfocusing.

i tend to stick to the shorter fics, so i cannot vouch for anything over ~1.5k words but i love their fics! the angst is written so damn well and i'll admit that ive been brought to tears once or twice (or more but u didnt hear it from me)

as for fic recommendations

the aforementioned fare thee well

something something darkside (it's called something like pushing limits i just cannot for the life of me remember the actual title so that's what ive been calling it)

the one (1) time dean winchester tried something new

music of thursday

really anything by any of these people is just fucking superb. 10/10 would recommend

-

i hope it's alright that i tagged yall and linked a couple fics (-:

#anon #ask #fic recommendation #oh hey someone actually asked for my opinion for once #L #9:28 #july 11 #2019

[i4z-0892-il]

Monster House 3

Summary: Posing as Newlyweds Sam and Y/n set out to investigate what’s killing the visitors of a secluded Inn, and attempt to keep their working relationship professional.

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word count: 6100 Oops, my keyboard slipped

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ Only, suggestive themes, language

A/N:  TROPES. 

Buy Sam’s Scent Here from @scentsfromthebunker (And damn does it smell goooooood)

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Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

After following the main trail for nearly half a mile it was quickly decided that the most effective course of action would be to get off the path. Neither of you were exactly sure what you were looking for, but you could both agree that whatever it was you weren’t going to find it sitting like a silver platter on a main path. However, actually stepping off of it and wandering aimlessly through the dense forest surrounding you was another matter. There shouldn’t have been a reason to worry, after all you were in the company of Sam Winchester, one of the deadliest hunters alive. If anyone should have been worried it should be whatever you were hunting. Even still the chill that slid up your spine earlier never really faded away.

Realistically that unsettled feeling could have been a number of things. You were nervous. Even though you wanted to find the thing that was snatching bodies, you also really didn’t want to find the thing that was snatching bodies. The classic double-edged sword! If you find it you could stop it and kill it, or it could stop and kill you- always a gamble. And you did not like that shit at all. Dense wilderness also put you on edge, but that was from growing up in West Virginia where there was more forest than not, and from knowing exactly what was out there.

Certain parts of the wild should not be visited. Of that you were sure, beyond shadow of a doubt.

Since you could remember you were told to stay away from specific parts of the forests surrounding the tiny town tucked in the mountains where you grew up in. Everyone knew. No one talked about it, but everyone knew. The Wilderness to the North-West was home to something far older and more dangerous than any gun in that town.

There were rules everyone knew to abide by. And only the very stupid or very foolish chose not to listen.

Don’t go into the woods at night.

Never give out your real name- or anyone’s.

If you feel you’re being watched stay calm and get out without a fuss.

Take nothing from the forest because it will want it back.

When you see the fog, leave.

Don’t listen to the whispers, ignore the strange knockings.

Close the doors and windows, and don’t look outside.

If something is following you don’t ever turn around.

In your youth you were both stupid and foolish.

The rules your father tried to drill into your thick skull never stopped you from playing in the forbidden woods. When you were little you’d run through those trees like it was your own personal playground, it was magical and enchanted and it was all yours. Everywhere you stepped in those woods was warm and inviting, like a little bubble of safety all around you. You talked to the trees, and though they never talked back you felt loved and safe.

Until you got older. Sometimes it was inviting like it was when you were just a kid, other times it was warning you to stay away.

It was September and you were fifteen when it happened- when it turned on you. Walking home from school you cut through the trees. You knew that forest like the back of your hand and the idea of shaving nearly twenty minutes off of your walk was just a little too tempting. It was still warm, and everything was golden with that afternoon hue, just before the sun starts to set, and you weren’t afraid. You were just over half way home when the shift happened. That sudden change in the air that made you stop, body frozen on the spot. The air around you dropping to a temperature so cold you could see the puffs of air coming from your mouth. Everything darkened like the sun had disappeared, but dusk wasn’t for another two hours, and it seemed like the treetops had closed the holes in the canopy trapping you and claustrophobic.

Something felt wrong, terribly, terribly wrong.

Heeding the words of your father you forced your legs to move, to carry on your way. Don’t run, don’t panic, don’t be afraid. So you kept your head down, looked straight ahead, and kept going. It wasn’t long before you felt like you weren’t the only one in the woods. And up slithered that cold, creeping hand of fear gripping the back of your neck at the base of your skull, wrapping around your chest like a spider-web making your whole body vibrate in alarm. Your pace sped up as you tried to keep your breath from shaking; as you tried to keep the panic and dread that filled you from your head to your toes at bay.

The thudding of your heart all but stopped when you glanced up and realized you had no idea where you were. It was like you had run straight into a wall of Evergreen or the trees had uprooted themselves and moved just to throw you off. You knew those woods, there was no way you could have gotten lost on a path you had walked more than a thousand times.Yet there you were, standing somewhere that seemed foreign and hostile. Swallowing down the blooming anxiety stuck in your throat you willed yourself to keep moving remembering not to stay still for too long.

Thick rolling fog slid in along the sides of your vision appearing from nowhere and suddenly everywhere. It reached for you with wispy smoke-like tendrils threatening to snag your ankles if you weren’t quick enough. It whispered your name, your name which you had so ignorantly given in your youth. Your heart raced in your chest, blood pumping furiously with adrenaline. Lungs sucked in short, sharp shocks of air as you tried to remain calm to the best of your ability, but you were only holding on by a thread.

When you felt eyes on you it was your undoing. Overcome with dread and fright you took off as fast as your feet could carry you. And the wilderness did not like that. Tearing through the trees they tried to reach out with sharp branches snagging your clothes, and slicing fine lines in your face. But you didn’t slow down, you couldn’t slow down.

It was coming.

It was gaining on you.

The Thing in the Woods.

Your heavy backpack full of school books, binders and papers slowed you down. Without second thought you dropped the dead weight, praying to God or whatever was out there that you made it out alive.

The forest moved, uplifting a root and grabbing your foot taking you to the ground tearing holes in the knees of your jeans, scraping up your hands and splitting your cheek open on a rock beneath you. It didn’t give you pause though, in full flight or fight mode you scrambled to your feet kicking up a flurry of dead leaves as you did. The snapping of branches and footsteps behind you dropped your heart into the pit of your stomach, your nervous system short circuiting as every fiber of your being turned to stone.

Everything fell deathly silent, no rustling of leaves, no wind, no birds or insects. Just the sound of blood pumping in your ears and your ragged breath coming out in wisps of cold mist.

Every limb trembled, quaking with terror as you did what you could to swallow down your panic and turn your head in slow trepidation knowing you had broken nearly every cardinal rule. Dragging your eyes along the forest floor you turned them up and a silent scream caught in your throat.

“Hey, Earth to Y/n-” Sam said waving a hand in front of your face, snapping you from your trance. Like a deer in the headlights your attention was on him, he was looking at you curious and concerned. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” You answered shrugging off your discomfort. Shifting your weight from foot to foot, flustered under the scrutiny of his unsatisfied gaze, you turned your eyes anywhere but his face. Those damn hazel eyes would be the end of you, and you couldn’t stand him staring at you like he genuinely cared for too long. Only after you took a long look around did you realize that you had no idea where you were or for how long you’d been following behind Sam. You blamed it on the woods, they played tricks and you hadn’t been much of a hiker since your youth.

“So I think I saw a house or something just up ahead.” He continued, dropping the fact that you were so very obviously not good. That you hadn’t cracked a joke or made a comment you surely thought was witty for nearly fifteen minutes was clue enough but the spaced out, thousand yard stare plastered on your face sealed the deal. He wasn’t one to push, and you weren’t one to tell, you’d come around when and if you were ready. Even still it was a look he hadn’t seen before.

“Okay, lets go do a B and E.” You agreed with a clap before sweeping your arms to the side in a grand gesture. “After you good Sir.”

Sam scoffed and shook his head walking past you with an eye roll.

“You better be careful rolling them things that hard Sam.” You warned as you followed behind him. He turned his head, confusion creasing his brow. “You’re gonna roll ‘em so far into your head they’ll get stuck like that.”

That pulled a laugh from him, and those dimples you loved so much. You always liked to see him smile, and his laugh seemed to happen so rarely. So when he did it was like looking at the sun, radiant and warm, bringing life to all things.

He wasn’t kidding when he said he saw a house. Although “house” was a rather gracious term for what it was. It looked more like an old hunting cabin that had seen better days, held together by antique nails and the grace of god.

“Wow, this place is a dump.” You said stepping around him and into the small clearing to take in the sight fully, the fact that it was still standing on its own was impressive.

“Really? You don’t want to honeymoon here?” Sam asked as he dropped the strap of his backpack to his hand and knelt to unzip it. You stood with your hands at your hips studying the building that would surely crumble if someone looked at it the wrong way. After a short pause you turned your attention back to him.

“I thought about it, and no. I do not want to honeymoon here. As much fun as tetanus is- I think I’d rather not.” You stated. The corner of his lips pulled up as he grinned at you while extending a handful of silver bullets and a holster. He and Dean might have been content with tucking a loaded gun in the waistband of their jeans- but you were not. You knew how getting shot felt and you were not exactly the most graceful person on the planet either. The combination of the two was a recipe for disaster, and you were not trying to shoot yourself in the ass. It was a nice ass, you had full intention on keeping it that way. Strapping the holster around your thigh and snagging a silver blade from his small arsenal almost instantly made you feel better. Sam geared up and slung the bag over his shoulder again before standing and sweeping hair from his face.

“I don’t know. Clean it up a little, could be nice.”

“I somehow doubt that.”

“Yout sure? Hang some curtains over the boarded up windows there,” he said pointing to different areas on the house. “A porch swing there. And one of those little welcome mat’s that says ‘Leave’ at the door.”

Hand over your heart you turned charmed eyes up to him, sighing dreamily. “You’re right, it’s like a dream.”

“I knew you’d come around.”

“Oh, yeah Sam, let's build a summer home out of the cabin that’s at the epicenter of every single 80’s horror movie.” You snarked, nudging his arm with your elbow. “Maybe if we’re lucky a portal to hell will open in the basement on nights when the stars align.”

“You know that is exactly how lucky we are.” Sam stated with another laugh, and it cured your depression, acne, and alcoholism all at once.

“Alright, call the realtor. Make ‘em an offer they can’t refuse.”

From about a hundred feet back the place certainly looked abandoned enough. Boards covered nearly every window, most of which were missing entire panes of glass either broken in or fallen out. And it was in serious need of a new paint job, and probably an exterminator- there was no way termites hadn’t taken up residence. Thinking about bugs slowly eating away the foundation of an entire house might not have been the best way to calm your nerves, but it was a better alternative to what you were most assuredly going to find.

The heavy duty padlock and iron chain around the front door did nothing but confirm your suspicions. It was never as easy an explanation as say- a tool shed! No. It was never a fucking tool shed. It was always a house of horrors. Body parts stuffed into jars. Body parts sans the jars. Always body parts. You should have picked a better- less morbid profession.

“Think you can crack it?” You asked, obviously he could. It was dumb to even ask, but Sam gave pause to ponder anyway. He scanned the area, then back to the lock, weighing options.

“Maybe. You go left, I’ll go right, see if we can find a more subtle way in.” He answered finally. Nodding in agreement you walked along the wall looking for a point of access that wouldn’t be so obvious that someone had gone inside. Because that’s exactly what you needed, pick the lock, go in, monster-person-thing comes back to find the chain missing right off the front door. Good point Sam.

More boarded up windows, and fragile wall you might have been able to put a fist clean through if you were curious enough. And jesus fuck if you were not curious. Putting a hand on the wall you gave a little push, and there was enough give that it only granted credibility to your theory, and a little more excitement than maybe was healthy. But who didn’t want to just full on kick in a fucking wall? Crazy people. That’s who. Though that would have been arguably way less subtle than just cracking open the padlock. The argument being the cabin was falling apart anyway. The human foot sized hole would have been slightly more difficult to explain, so you tucked the urge away in the back of your mind. Begrudgingly.

Carrying on you reached a cellar door, and a set of tiny windows lining the bottom of the cabin, one of them was busted nearly completely open. Yahtzee. With a quick chirping whistle you drew Sam’s attention who rounded the corner of the house to meet you. A casual toss of your head to the side let his eyes trail to the window you were looking at.

“There’s no way I’ll fit in that, I’m way too big.” He commented without missing a beat. You snorted a laugh, biting the inside of your lips into a flat line, closing your eyes and shaking your head. How many times had he said that in his life? When you regained more control of your face and opened your eyes again he was looking at you with that perfected bitch-face, which while oh-so-judgy was still pretty damn hot. You shrugged, proclaiming your innocence.

“What? I didn’t say anything!”

He didn’t have to respond, it was clear as day what you were thinking. He moved to the cellar doors, like a normal thinking person and pulled to no avail.

“Guess it’s locked from the inside there Buckaroo.” You said peering over his shoulder, his eyes cut to you, there was that bitch-face again. With a huff he stood upright, you always liked standing close enough to him to really let his height sink in. Sam always made you feel so tiny and small, and little, like his huge frame could just swallow you whole. Not that you ever spent entirely too much time thinking about how easily he could crush you in his toned, muscular, perfectly sunkissed arms or anything. Or how he could lift you off your feet and over his head like you weighed absolutely nothing. Focus!

The cellar doors wouldn’t open which meant your plan was the most viable one on the table. And if Sam couldn’t fit through that little window it left one option. You were going to have to do it. A shudder of distaste and resentment snaked up your back. You were going to have to crawl through some busted ass window, in some creepy ass basement of a creepy ass cabin in the middle of some creepy ass woods. And god only knew what you might find inside- human jars, jars made from humans, blood paint. Eyeball soup. Buffalo Bill. Who the fuck knew. Suddenly your plan seemed a lot less fun than it did a minute ago.

“Okay, welp. Guess I’m going in.” You said shaking the jitters out of your body through your hands. Sam would never tell you that he enjoyed watching you screw your courage to the sticking place, but it was absolutely entertaining. You were kind of like a kid in a play getting ready to go deliver a monologue at the crux of the plot, who had stage fright and were bouncing up and down offstage with nervous energy. He had to hand it to you, you never backed down, and there was no denying he admired your bravery. In another life you probably would have been a Teacher or Optometrist, or some kind of niche artist. Definitely something softer, much less gritty and gory. Not that you couldn’t handle yourself, he had no doubts about you and your iron will. But if the life hadn’t found you and made the decision for you, he simply couldn’t see you as the dirt-under-the-fingernails, willingly-crawling-into-a-dingy-hole-towards-almost-certain-peril kind of gal. The sarcasm and your unabashed weirdness though? That would stay. No matter what life you wound up in, most assuredly, those two staples of you would remain. He wouldn’t have you any other way though, he loved your odd sense of humor, and eccentricities.

Crouching at the window you tilted your head at a near painful angle trying to get a better view of what you were getting yourself in to. Without asking Sam handed you a flashlight, tucking it into your hand unannounced bringing your eyes to scan him over quizzically.

“Where were you hiding that?” You certainly hadn’t seen it earlier.

“Backpack?”

“Boy scout.” You teased, because of course he would have packed for everything, he probably had a compass tucked away in there somewhere too. Sam rolled his eyes, a dimple creasing his cheek as he turned his attention back to the window.

No obvious dead bodies, so that was a plus. After shining the light around you set your mind in stone and handed it back to him so you could shimmy in through the narrow pane. There was a pretty steep drop from the window to the floor in the basement so you laid on your back, squeezing your head and shoulders through first, giving yourself a chance to grab a long wooden beam above you to hold onto for leverage, and so you didn’t drop like a rock to the floor. With a final huff you pulled the rest of your body through the open window, acutely aware of the sharp pieces of jagged glass that jabbed you with every movement. Don’t think about the spider web you just stuck your hand in. Or the other creepy crawlies lurking in the shadows just waiting to scurry over your fingers or up the leg of your jeans. And do not think about the inevitable squishing sound the floor is going to make when you step into a pile of human organs. Once in your dropped your hold and landed on your feet, kicking up a thousand years worth of dust as you did. With a hacking cough and a wave of your hand you brushed the dirt out of your face to little avail.

“Anything interesting?” Sam asked from the window, shining the flashlight directly in your eyes. Scrunching up your face you tried to block it with your hand.

“I don’t know Sam. I’m blind now, so it’s a little hard to tell.”

“Right.” He realized and reached an arm through the window handing off the light to you. Shining it around you were pleasantly surprised to find it more or less empty. Old dusty shelves lined the walls full of boxes, and tools. No mason jars full of eyeballs. Yet. Lighting up the doors to the cellar from your side you were relieved that it was just barricaded by a simple wooden beam.

Setting the light on a shelf, aiming it at the doors you went and freed the plank of wood from its slot. Sam pulled the doors open from the other side, and closed them silently behind him, taking a moment to replace the wooden board, ever careful to cover his tracks.

“Mind the dust.” You said, grabbing the flashlight from its perch. “Hey, Sam.” The second you gained his attention you flashed the beam of light in his face. “See anything?”

“Ha, ha. I get it.” He snarked snatching the torch from you hand as you stifled a giggle.

Following his lead you continued to search the basement, turning up bupkis. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a bunch of old shit that no one had probably used since the Inn was built. Save for the nice little stash of Moonshine tucked under one of the shelves.

“Yeehaw.” You said popping open the lid to the mason jar and taking a whiff, quickly turning into a sputtered cough as your eyes and throat immediately started to burn. “Good god, you could strip paint with this.”

“Yeah? Go ahead and try it, tell me what gasoline tastes like.” Sam replied with a chuckle.

“I’m not gonna drink it. You drink it.”

“No way.”

“I’ll give you five bucks if you drink it.” You insisted, there was that perfect bitch-face again.

“You’d don’t have five bucks.”

“Wow, rude. You don’t have to rub it in.” You said with a pout, screwing the lid back on the jar and tucking it back into it’s spot. Once the basement was clear you headed upstairs which was unsettling. Nothing but ratty old furnishings, more than apparent that a family had in fact lived there, but just up and left one day. Antique dolls on an old rickety shelf, children’s toys on the floor, deer heads mounted on the walls. There were still untouched plates sitting on the side table, and a book left open for place keeping. Easily the most alarming thing was the back corner which had a mess of iron chains and cuffs, and a few giant meat hooks hanging.

“Still wanna turn this place into a summer home?” He asked, the light glinting off the iron chains.

“Just remember my safeword.” You quipped, biting back a gag from the rancid smell coming from what you could only assume was at one point a kitchen. A large black mass situated in the center of the floor where the odor was coming from caught your attention, forming a pit in your stomach, and you grabbed Sam by the wrist directing the light to where you needed it.

A voice from outside distracted you from making out the shape in the floor, someone was outside. Sam cut out the light, which helped neither of you to figure out where to go from there. Hand on the grip of your gun at your thigh you waited for the inevitable stand-off as the chain on the outside of the front door rattled, lock falling away. Sam’s large hands covered your mouth and snaked around your waist as he pulled you backwards and into the crawl-space beneath the staircase. With a free hand you hooked your fingers around the frame of the slatted closet door and pulled it closed silently.

The storage area he pulled you into had to be the world’s tiniest storage space, if it were just you in there it might have been fine. But with Sam’s huge form crowding what little space was available it was awkward to say the least. The sharp incline of the stairs had his broad shoulders pressed against the flat of the ceiling, and the rest of him hunched over you practically bending you in half backwards. One hand pressed against the wall above your head, and legs at a crooked and unstable angle below you you were banking on him to keep you upright. With his arm tucked firmly at your back and his other arm outstretched to keep himself steady, hand flat against the wall behind your head it was all he could do to fit into the space with you. You were flexible enough, generally speaking, but you were not a contortionist and the Cirque du Soleil act he just crammed you into was… less than comfortable.

The front door opened and you could no longer lament about your tight quarters.

“No, I heard you.” Came a man’s voice, you tugged a finger on the slats of the door trying your damndest to sneak a peek through them, which was near impossible with Sam’s forearm against your jaw. Not that you minded so much, he was warm, and he smelled so nice it was distracting, like coffee, and vanilla, and cinnamon. He held you flush against him in a hard line down the length of his chest and abdomen, tucked between his solid thighs. Made you all tingly in the nether region, but there was no time for you to focus on his firm he was. Or the feel of his breath hot against your neck forming goosebumps on your skin. Or how the long strands of his hair tickled your cheek, and how you’d always wanted to know how soft it would feel knotted in your fingers. Or how hard your heart was pounding in your chest a little too excited to be so close to him.

“I said I heard you. It’ll be taken care of.” The Man said again, irritated. It was so dark in the cabin you couldn’t make out a thing, and you were trusting your instincts to tell you relatively where he was based on where his voice was coming from. “You just worry about your damn self, and let me do my fucking job. Or you can deal with it, but something tells me you don’t like getting your hands dirty...Yeah. That’s what I thought you’d say.”

Then there was silence, followed by a series of footsteps, heavy boots, going from the spot in the center of the room towards the kitchen. The sounds of rustling plastic, and a slow choppy drag of something weighty across the floor.

Your arm above your head was starting to cramp, and the way he had you bent backwards was already painful. Bracing yourself against the wall you twisted your body until your back was flush against his chest, careful to remain as silent as you could. Sam shifted to try to give you some room but, the poor man had nowhere to go. Under different circumstances he would not have minded your ass pressing against him in all the right places. But this was neither the time nor the place to get caught up in the scent of your shampoo, or the soft curves of your body moving against the hard lines of his. You shifted again, just trying to get a better view of what little there was to be seen through the slats in the door, but the friction of your movements was impossible to ignore. One large hand splayed out flat, low on your stomach between your hip bones keeping you still enough for him to keep his mind focused on anything other than the growing tension pooling in his core.

The feel of his hand sitting dangerously low over your jeans made heat bloom in your cheeks and elsewhere and at the moment you were grateful for the pitch black. The front door creaked open and the rustling plastic stopped long enough for it to shut again and be replaced by the sound of jingling chains and a padlock being reattached. Waiting until you were in the clear enough to make an exit from the tiny crawl-space was seemed to take forever, but at the same time it wasn’t like you were in much of a huge rush to move. After all you were a little more than content to stay exactly where you were. Sam let out a sigh, his forehead dropping to rest against the back of your neck, his warm breath sending a tingle down your spine.

“See anything?” His tone low and smooth, as if he was unbothered by the cramped quarters.

“Nothing.” There was no hiding your disappointment. The conversation you’d overheard was certainly of interest however. Pushing the door open you slipped out of the crawl-space. The drag of his long fingers over the bare skin peeking between the rise of your jeans and hem of your t-shirt sending sparks of electricity directly to your center. Sam stepped out behind you, having to adjust himself in his jeans, he could think more about the feel of holding you that close later, and he would be.

The flashlight clicked on and both of you moved directly to the kitchen which yielded- nothing.

Swatting your hands against your thighs in frustration you let out an irritated groan. The sink was backed up with blackwater, and the floor was mushy from water damage sourced from a hole in the ceiling. But there were no body parts. The lack thereof was starting to bother you, which was not a feeling you’d thought to anticipate. No one wanted to find human remains, but more than anything you just wanted to find some fucking human remains! Gank the bad guy, stop the killings, go home, take a hot bath and boom. You would be on your way to Netflix and sleep. But no! Of course it wasn’t that simple.

Upstairs was equally unfruitful. Although an unmade and dingy bed, along with some foul smelling clothes was more proof than needed that someone was living there still. Your money was on the guy you’d just heard downstairs.

The only problem left was how to get back out of the house without letting it be known they had been there. Someone would have to put the wooden board back in the cellar door-you. But you also weren’t quite tall enough to climb back through the window in the basement. There was, however, a wide open window in the bedroom, and Sam beat you to it.

“Ever thought about jumping out a window?”

“You read my mind.” You answered unenthusiastically. He pressed his forearm against the frame gauging just how far down the drop would be, deciding it was plenty safe. But you did not agree. “You’re kidding right?”

“It’s not that far.” He justified, but you were not having it. A twenty foot drop might not have seemed like much for him, but that extra foot he had on you made a hell of a difference. Not to mention the fact that he was a large wall of solid muscle, while you were small, soft and had squishy insides.

“Okay, sure- for you maybe, Gigantor. I jump down there I’m looking at a broken leg, or worse.”

“You’re not going to break your leg.” Sam reassured you, but the flat and unamused expression on your face was not something he’d be able to cut through that easily. A large hand slid along your jawline, warm and comforting. “I’ll catch you.”

You could have melted into a puddle on the spot. It really wouldn’t have taken anything more than a slight breeze to make your knees crumple beneath you. The genuine sweetness in his eyes made you forget how to breathe. Trying to get a handle on yourself, unless you drowned in those kaleidoscope eyes you scoffed. “Yeah right.”

“I promise.” He said, gaze intense and confident. Beyond shadow of a doubt you trusted him, you were sure you were also going to regret it, but you were about to find out.

“Okay.” You agreed, a little baffled that you were just going to jump out a window and trust him to break your fall. He turned to go out first, but you grabbed his arm, bringing his attention back to you, all nerves again. “Sam. You drop me and I swear once I’m out of the hospital you’re in for a world of hurt.”

Sam flashed you a dimpled smile and dropped out the window, landing on his feet, making it look easy. Of course, he always made it look easy. He was graceful and agile, like a cat. You on the other hand- not so much. You sucked in a breath and leaned out the window waiting for him to ready himself. It wasn’t the first window you’d jumped out of, not by a long shot. But any other time you were escaping with zero hesitation about what was on the other side, no time to think about it. Quick thinking jump, or die, so there was little room to question the best alternative. But you kind of just wanted to try to boost yourself through the window in the basement right about then.

“This is so stupid.” You hushed, rocking on your heels. He turned up to you, arms outstretched. Sucking in a breath you hoped you aimed right, and stepped out the window, slamming your eyes shut and bracing yourself for impact.

Impact came but it wasn’t you busting your ass on solid ground. Sam made good on his word and caught you, but you had a little thing called momentum and just kept going, practically tackling him to the floor below. He hit the dirt on his back, his arms wrapped firm around you. Eyes wide you sat up immediately, waiting for the inevitable ‘Oh god, I think you broke my rib!’ to come but he just laid out for a moment, and brought two thumbs up, head tipped back to catch the breath you surely knocked out of him.

“Hey, this was your idea.” You defended. He nodded with an exasperated grin, hands falling to rest high on your thighs where you straddled his waist. It didn’t take but a split second for you to relish the position you’d found yourself in, and took only another split second more for the wave of embarrassment to flood, as you scrambled to your feet. Not that you wouldn’t have minded staying perched on his hips a little longer, or much longer. But it was Sam, and you already shouldn’t have been thinking about him like that, and you were also a professional with a job to do, which meant you didn’t have time to wrap your brain in fantasies. No matter how mouth-wateringly tantalizing they were.

He took your outstretched hand to help him to his feet, and dusted off the foliage he picked up. When you turned away to look at your surroundings he took a moment to adjust himself once again. That was twice now he’d had you exactly where he’d wanted you, at exactly the wrong times.

Heavy fog began to roll in through the trees, and with it that sickening cold chill rolled up your spine, and you found yourself edging just a little closer to him.

“It’ll be dark soon. We should get back to the Inn.” You suggested, but it was more of a warning. The woods were telling you to get out, and you weren’t one to ignore the signs anymore.

Tags:

@heyitscam99

@mogaruke

@x-waywardaf-x

@alexwinchester23

@notnaturalanahi

@lydklein1

@mrswhozeewhatsis

@dontyouhearthewhispers

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@witchy--owl (Your tag is broken??)

@saxxxology

#sam x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fic #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester fanfic #sam fic #sam fanfic #sam fanfiction #monster house #jena writes

[kaz11283]

Chapter 5

Characters: Clint, you, Loki

Warnings: this is a SLOW burn, slight angst, fluff at the end, Loki starting shit.

Summary: life has never really bwen this complicated. Or well the life that you think you know has never really been this complicated. Living with the avengers, learning new things, yeah its gonna be a long road but what else do you have to look forward to other than the random runins with the god of mischief.

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

It had been about a week since you had arrived at the tower and just as long as your incounter with Loki, you hadnt had much time to think about it though since you were normally nose deep in class work or training with Nat and Clint since Tony had sent you the message "If your gonna be an avenger you have to train like one, training starts at 6." You had left him on read after that, you had never been a morning person and you sure as hell wasnt about to start now.

"Alright y/n, lets try you on the bow today." Clint smiled walking into the arena where most of your training took place.

"After I finish this." You said pointing to your coffee. "I swear, you would think that after saving lives you would want to sleep in." You grumbled.

"Bad guys dont sleep, we dont get to sleep." Clint said wiping down a few of his practice arrows.

"You didnt get back till like 3 this morning. Im really starting to wonder if you sleep at all." You tossed your cup away and got up starting to do your stretches.

"Get over here so I can show you how to hold this thing." He saod holding out the bow.

"I know how to use a bow, I was in archery in high school. Top of my team." You grabbed the bow feeling the cool metal in your hand. His bow was diffrent than what you was use to, as light as air almost were yours had been heavy.

"This bow is probably a little different than what your use to. The metal is vibranium, the strings are made of some type of industrial woven string that Tony invinted in his lab. Might be a littlw hard for you to pull back." He smiled looking at the bow like a child.

"It is very beautiful." You examined it looking down the sights has you pulled the string back easily. "Absolutly magnificent peice of weaponry." You looked over at him and seen that he was staring at you wide eyed. "What?"

"No one else has ever been able to draw the string back like that." You let the string gently go back into place amd handed it back to him.

"I told you, I was in archery while I was in high school."

"Theres no way that someone no matter how skilled they are can pull that back."

"Well if your forgetting, apperantly Im not from here either."

"Yup almost forgot, Asguardian. Anyways. You know how to use one of these so lets set up a few targets and get to work. Tony wants to try you out on a few different things, eval you, and see what suits you best. Im already leaning toward you being good at the bow."

After he talked you through some of the basics that you had informed him you knew and he insisted on stating that it was 'mandatory' you were finally able to pick up one of the training bows.

"These bows suck. Stark has all the money in the world and he buys walmart brand bows? If you pull this one back to many times the string will break. Why cant I just use yours?" You roll your eyes looking back at Clint.

"My bow, my baby. If you want ine bad enough you can start off at the bottom and work your way up. You have a card why dont you buy one?" He countered, just then the foor opened drawing your attention.

"Sorry, didnt realize that the area was occupied today, I just wanted to get a few throws in woth the new daggers Stark and Banner decided to enhance for me. Wanted to make sure that they wouldnt bloe up in my face." Loki said walking over to the bay next to you and Clint. You hadnt had a moment alone with the trickster since in the hall weeks ago and now he was here acting as of nothingbhad happened. You looked down at the daggers that he had laid out.

"Wow, those are beautiful." You noticed that not only had he laid down two simple green handeled knives but he had also laid down a set of electric blue ones and a set of gold handle ones engraved with ancient symbols and roses with the stems winding down the hilt. "May I?" You asked leaning down to get a closer look.

"Of course y/n, you are the one that gave me those." He answered casually. Your breathing hitched and you turned to look at him.

"Thats not funny Loki."

"I dont know what your talking about. I was simpl-" he started before you cut him off.

"You know damn good and well what I am talking about. What did you expect? Me to pick it up and everything come barreling back to me? Here I'll do you one even better." You stormed up to the daggers and grabbed one of the gold ones up throwing it at the target on the far side of the room. You had expected it to fall short and clink to the floor but you never hears it fall. When you looked at the target you noticed you had hit the middle.

Clints jaw had dropped as he was looking around the wall to see what you had been yelling about. Loki looked at you with a smug expression. "I assume they must have had knife throwing classes at the school you attended as well."

"Shut up. Clint are we done, I have some studying for class that I really need to do." You looked at clint as he knodded still awestruck. "Thanks, I'll talk with Tony about getting a better bow for me to practice with." You took off toward your room.

Later after you had taken a hot shower and changed into some leggings and a baggy shirt you decided to go to the one place in the tower that you had decided to claim as your own little study corner. It was located on of of the high up floors that happened to be more of an observation deck, you could watch the team leave on missions, see the ocean, and watch some of the most beautiful sun sets that you had seen. You had notice while checking the place out that there was a fairly large window seat that you could spead your work out on as you looked out over the city, this small part of the tower was your little hid away, you hadnt seen any other member of the team up here so you figured when you needed the alone time you could come here. It had seemed to work for the most part until today.

You notice the shadow of the figure standing over you before looking up into the eyes of Lokis confused ones, you had noticed his lips moving before rolling your eyes and taking out your noise canceling ear pods.

"What do you want Loki?" You sighed placing them back into the chsrging dock.

"Well if you hadnt had those things in you would have heard me tell you that I was sorry for earlier." He sassed crossing his arms.

"How did you find me? No one really bothers coming up here." You pulled your legs under your chin and covering you feet with the throw that you had brought up with you this time.

"The AI system has no bounderies when it comes to privacy, it can tell you were anyone is in this god forsaken place." He responded. "May I sit?"

"And if I say no?"

"I'll sit anyways." He shrugged.

"Then what is the point in asking?" You leaned forward moving your papers and books out of the way. He reached down and grabbed a few of the papers to help you.

"Your doing a paper on Shakespeare?" He asked as he sat down reading over the page.

"Umm, yeah. Part of my agreement to come here is so that I can finish up my collage classes. Drama and Art Major." He hamded the paper back to you so that you could stick it in your binder. He gave you a look that you were use to getting from him. "Don't say it Loki." You out your hand up to stop him before he could even open his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say anything." He held his hands up.

"Hum, interesting. The god of lies actually sucks at lying. I should remember that." You smiled. This was the first time you had actually felt half way confortable around him.

"I could never lie to you." He smiled back. "You have always had a knack for seeing right through me."

"I wish you wouldnt do that." You sighed leaning your heas agints the window behind you.

"Do what exactly?" He askes mirroring your position.

"Where you mention something about my past. Its annoying and it breaks my heart."

"Well Dove, how do you think I feel? The worst part about it for me is that while you remember nothing I am stuck remembering everything. Your past, my past, our past together. It truly is the worst pain that I have ever felt. To have something that you have wanted for so long in front of you and they dont even want you back." He sighed looking out the window.

"Loki," you crossed your legs and placed your elbows on your knees. "I have never said that I didnt want you. I just dont know what is what."

"So you do want me?" He laughted.

"That is not what I meant and you know it." You leanded back again. "Tell me about us. About how you and Thor know me." He eyes lite up.

Chapter 6

Tag list:

@high-functioning-lokipath

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

@poetic-fiasco

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@rosaline-black

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@natandersonnla

@delightfulheartdream

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #loki daily #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki avengers #loki fluff #loki x reader #lokilaufeyson #fire and ice #loki masterlist #marvel loki #loki friggason #loki and reader #avenger loki #loki x y/n #loki fandom #loki request #loki mcu #mcu loki #loki marvel #loki everything #loki feels #loki god of mischief #loki god of lies #loki imagine #loki needs a hug #loki of asgard

[shhh-no-ones-home]

read in eddie brock x reader

+++++++++

Request from wattpad

sorry ive been MIA for a bit guys, i havent really had much motivation or time to write with the end of my classes and finals and stuff. hopefully with the new quarter starting next week ill have a little more time and can get back to posting :)

Song: smile by avril lavigne 

tag list: @cynic-spirit​

+++++++++

i sat on the couch alone and read my book. well, i tried, at least. it was kind of hard to focus on anything besides eddie who was making copious amounts of noise and distraction.

"eddie what are you doing?"

i asked, holding my book closed with my finger in the page i was reading. he looked up at me like a deer in headlights.

"what?"

he asked, completely oblivious.

"what are you doing? you've been over there making all kinds of ruckus for the last half hour."

he gave me a half smile before holding his hands up, showing me how tangled they were in strings and what not. i raised a brow before getting up and walking to the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"crafts?"

i asked, inspecting what he was doing.

"i wanted to make you something for our anniversary but im not so good at this stuff."

he said trying to untangle himself again. i laughed a little bit before kissing his temple.

"you dont have to do that eddie."

he looked up at me and frowned.

"i wanted it to come from the heart. it was V's idea to make this stupid thing."

its not stupid eddie.

i watched as he made a face before shaking his head. he held his hands up and looked at me with pleading eyes.

"please help."

i smiled at him and set my book down.

"fine, but just cause i think youre cute, all helpless and stuff."

we are not helpless eddie. tell her we aren't helpless.

he sent me a look as i helped remove the yarn from his wrists and hands.

"there ya go."

i said putting it to the side. then he picked up the box he had made and looked it over.

"i did have a good vision for this ya know, it was gonna be so damn cute it would make you want to vomit."

i laughed at him as he set it down and crossed his arms over his chest, glitter falling as he did so.

"well then i guess its a good thing you didnt finish it cause who would always want to feel the need to vomit?"

i quiped back and he just laughed at me, standing off his bar stool and kissing the top of my head.

"ya know what, i think youre right, we can just do something else for our anniversary."

i smiled up at him as he leaned down and kissed me gently.

"sounds like a good idea to me."

he smirked at me before noticing and snatching my book off the counter. i gasped and followed him across the kitchen as he flipped through some pages.

"Eddie you goof, give it back!"

I laughed out, reaching around his shoulders for it.

"lemme look first. i wanna know what youre into right now."

"eddie!"

he held his hand up as he looked over one of the pages.

"hey, we established a book club, im just curious."

i rolled my eyes at him.

"we did not, dont loose my page!"

he kept turning away from me as i followed him around the island in circles.

"yes we did, i started reading your books at night when me and V are cooling down. i figured it would be a good relaxing thing to do after feeling guilty for eating all those guys."

i stood in the kitchen with my hands on my hips as he kept slowly walking away from me.

"fine, understandable but can i please have it back now, you can read it later."

he stopped on the other side of the island and looked at me, closing the book and leaning forward.

"fine, but you gotta earn it first."

I slouched down and crossed my arms over my chest in disapproval, pouting at him.

"And How do you want me to do that?"

He smiled at me before standing up, turning to the side, and offering his cheek to me. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"really?"

he smiled and nodded at me.

"fine."

i said, walking around the island and kissing his cheek.

"Thank you."

He said, handing the book back to me. I poked his side with my finger before hopping up on the counter and swinging my legs back and forth. then his stomach growled, making me laugh.

does that mean food eddie?

"you wouldnt happen to have something in mind for dinner would you?"

he asked walking around the kitchen to look in the fridge. i shrugged.

"no idea. what sounds good?"

he frowned a little bit as he closed the fridge.

Bad guys Eddie

He laughed a little bit, causing me to raise a brow.

"Venom says bad guys."

I rolled my eyes at him again, smiling and shaking my head.

"V, we can't eat bad guys, you'll have to think of something else."

i motioned between us as we both laughed.

Chocolate Eddie, y/n likes chocolate. Remember last valentines day?

Eddie coughed nervously.

"How could I forget?"

He choked out and I looked at him funny.

"Forget what?"

He looked regretful, pushing his crafting stuff back so he could lean against the island.

"He suggested chocolate, because you like it and we got that for you on Valentine's day. we all know how that ended."

My eyes got wide.

"Oh, uh, right."

I said a little embarrassed. That was the first time we'd slept together since we'd started dating. It was also the first time I'd met venom, very shockingly actually. i just shook the thought away.

"Not really a meal either big guy."

i thought for a second.

"oh! what about Thai?"

I pointed at Eddie.

"You really liked that place last time we went! Plus he got a snack on the way home cause it's in a bad part of town."

Eddie just laughed.

"So are we trying to put ourselves in danger for the sake of a good time?"

I nodded quickly, smiling widely at him.

"It's a win win for all of us right? We get good Thai food and if he's lucky there will be a perp he can eat on our way home."

That's very considerate

Eddie screwed his brows together.

"You didn't even know what considerate was until like a week ago."

I just shook my head at him.

"Oh, so dinner and a show."

I joked as Eddie continued to argue with himself. He just sent me a look.

"We are not a show."

I raised my brows at him.

"only cause I can't hear what he's saying."

he just stood up walked away from me, shaking his head.

"Come on, we'd better leave if we're gonna get there before the danger does."

#wattpad #x reader #request #eddie brock #marvel #venom #202

[starrysence]

ralbert for the hc. . thinv. g

ok these are kinda all over the place????? like the ones where theyre not dating yet arent necessarily before the ones where they are dating. its just kinda. scattered. oops sorry 

warnings: 100% swearing. if its ralbert you can basically guarantee that theres swearing

●ok so theres this period of time where nobody can tell whether al and race are dating or just doing bro things like they always do

▪probably bc these two have always been so physically affectionate???? there isnt really a noticeable change after they start dating▪until jack and finch see them making out against a wall and decide to just leave them be without making any noise▪but yeah thats 100% how the boys find out▪"you guys didn't know we were dating????"▪"no wtf you've always acted like a couple we just thought it was the typical Bro Behaviour" ▪they all bust out laughing at that one●race LOVES the snow which is 100% ironic bc he gets cold so easily (can you tell im trying to do as many snow hcs as possible)▪albert doesnt like the snow. he doesnt. understand. race. ESPECIALLY because race gets cold so easily▪"baby why dont you just come inside i can just make hot chocolate and we can binge watch hallmark christmas movies a month too early,,,,,,,"▪"nOo Oo al the snow is so pretty"▪"youre prettier"▪"nice try but im not coming in"▪"aw damn"●has race stolen albert's sweaters during the winter??????? Absolutely ▪has albert cared??? of course not. look at his boy. he looks fucking adorable. he cant take that sweater away from race even tho hes already stolen half the sweaters in al's closet▪one time race was half-asleep on the couch when al got home late from a graphic design workshop and he was in one of albert's sweaters▪al thought it was tje cutest thing hes ever seen▪he didnt want race falling asleep on the couch tho so he Scooped him up and put him down on their bed▪"youre so sweet albie,,,,,,,,, i love you"▪thats the first time either one of them has said i love you since they started dating?????? albert is Shook bc it feels so different now▪"love you too, racer"●these two 100% went through a taylor swift phase together and You Can't Change My Mind▪it includes the ones a lot of people know like shake it off, blank space, etc. but also so many other ones▪they have a whole ass taylor swift playlist but they never really delete it after they get past their phase???▪so al absolutely brings it back when race is going through a breakup▪so here they are. two teenage boys, singing/yelling along to taylor swift songs. ft. like 6 tubs of mint choco chip ice cream and 8 boxes of tissues▪race feels so much better afterwards????▪gives albo a lil kiss on the cheek ▪"thank you, albie"▪albert dasilva? blushing????? pshhhh. nahhh (read: absolutely 100%)●yall Best Believe race can bake like nobody's business and albert Lives For It bc he can barely bake a batch of cookies▪however, the only food race can cook w/o nearly burning something down is italian food▪so usually albert cooks▪but baking???? yall this boy CAN BAKE▪thats actually the reason albert starts falling in love w/ him LMAO ARE U REALLY SURPRISED▪literally theyre like 13 or 14 right? and race has baked a batch of brownies and albert is in HEAVEN when he tries one▪"i think im in love"▪"hahaha with me or the brownies?"▪".....the, uh,,,,, the brownies, duh"▪lol no its race AND the brownies but he doesnt totally know that yet●if youve read my more recent fics u might remember race's sisters▪if noT, he has 4 sisters ok. two older, two younger. he is the middle child. What A Life▪siblings from oldest to youngest: veronica, ilia, race, rosetta, elsie▪albert and race have been best friends since childhood so albert and race's sisters know each other really well. theyre all Pals▪literally???? race's sisters Love Him▪when they find out race likes albert they do not let it go. for a second. race is Actually terrified theyll expose him in fromt of albert one day▪best believe they go WILD when they find out race and al are finally dating ▪the first time albert comes over after theyre dating all 4 of race's sisters TACKLE HIM▪"HELLOOOO FUTURE BROTHER-IN-LAW"▪albert is so absolutely stunned afterwards and race is crying w/ laughter●these two swear. so much. its really funny yall▪once jack dared them to go a whole week without swearing and they didnt realise how hard it would be▪"albert you fu----- fabulous human being, you"▪"stop being such an a----- aDORABLE person, race, my heart cant handle it"▪its actually very wholesome but the week is hell for those two▪the next monday theyre both like "FUCK yes we can fucking swear again thank goodness"▪its a very swear-heavy week to make up for the last one. the boys are Really Amused●race is so full of energy all the time its actually kinda weird for albert to see him tired or drowsy before nighttime▪but he knows if he gives race any form of caffeine or sugar the boy will practically be bouncing off the walls▪so he chooses to enjoy his time w/ sleepy race while it lasts bc while its pretty unusual its also absolutely adorable▪race is even more cuddly than usual when hes tired/sleepy ngl and i mean,,,,,, albert isnt complaining▪al lives for the lil smile race has on his face when hes tired and albert has just kissed his forehead or something. its so cute he swears hes gonna explode●albert is Wonderful at poetry yall cant try me on this i will take it to my grave▪race has no idea about this until they have to write a poem for english▪very open-ended assignment. a poem of any style about anything you want to write about▪albert says his is about one of the best gifts hes ever received and it turns out▪the poem is abt race▪and its REALLY well written half the class is saying 'awwww' and the other half is near tears and smiling▪race is part of the other half. except he starts crying. did i mention hes emotional as hECK●shsjjfjgs amusement park dates▪these boys live for them (also i rlly just want an excuse to write about amusement park dates)▪kind of chaotic bc race bruises really easily AND hes really clumsy so if he and al have to part ways for a bit he might look like shit when they reconvene and albert is like "do i have to fight somebody or did you just do something dumb and get yourself hurt again"▪"........the latter"▪"jesus christ, race. youre such a disaster. but i love you"▪"love you too albieeeeee"

×××

sahjkhdks i love them so much. i think i got a bit carried away with all of these lmaooo so i hope you like them!!

-sanj 💕

tag list:

@but-let-us-seize-the-day​

@one-candy-cane-please​

@suddenly-im-respecsable​

@intoomanyfandomstopickaname​

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@bencookisagod​

@well-the-kids-do-too​

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@have-we-got-news-for-you​

@not-a-scab​

@newsiesgarbage​

@pineappapizza

@andthewoildwillknow​

@concrete--donuts​

@stopthe-presses​

@thomasbeingthomas

@i-love-loki-and-sherlock

@maxvanna

@spot-me50-papes

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you!]

#newsies #newsies live #newsies 1992 #race higgins #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #ralbert #sanj scribbles

[dontjudgemebymykpoptrash]

YG Treasure Box ep. 9 reaction

I'm ready to cry are you ready to cry?

I love Going Crazy when do I get all the versions and also SEUNGHUN IS IN THIS ONE FIGHTING (all my three faves got eliminated so I've been putting all my chemi-beats into him and Byounggon)

I hate when they show past Treasures being hurt about losing their spots to new Treasures :'(

Byounggon is heartbreaking, he made it to Treasure but got kicked before he even had a chance to perform with them HE DESERVES BETTER. (They all do tbh)

NINE. THEY'RE ELIMINATING NINE TRAINEES FFFUUUUUUU-. And the way they're splitting it???? Better than the 2:2 but still garbage.

Hyunsuk is a reaction king I love him.

Hharuto being such a tease with the song reveal hahaaa what a cutie

Hyunsuk doing the choreo what a good leader this hecker better debut or ima fight YG with my bare fists.

JIHOON NO R U OKAY

Oh shit I hope this isnt a lasting hurt, I hope he wont push himself and hurt himself more :'(

OMG YEONGUE YOU ARE FIFTEEN. Ngl he's my second vote in team boomerang after Hyunsuk.

THIS PERFORMANCE IS FIRE. GIVE ME THE FULL VERSION.

Jihoon looks good I'm happy, I hope he's not just fighting through and causing a lasting injury!

Where do I get Jihoons hair sparklies can that be my daily lewk?

Hyunsuk bowing to all sides of the audience <3

DAMN STRAIGHT YG YOU PRAISE THESE BABIES ANDN RECOGNIZE THEM FOR FUCKING ONCE.

Honestly dont know if that's a good score cause I don't know what the max number of votes are???

Oof who got Growl by EXO that is an iconic and difficult song.

Oooohhhhh noooooooooo those poor babies, they have their work cut out for them. This was not set up in their favor at all...

This practice is so painful, they all look so unhappy.

THIS VOCAL TEACHER AND DANCE TEACHER NEEDS TO STOP BULLYING THESE CHILDREN UNTIL THEY CRY. TEACH BETTER. CONSTRUCTIVE POSITIVE TEACHING NETS BETTER RESULTS ALL AROUND I will fite u.

Jaehyuk not practicing on his own is not good, is this a mistranslation? Bby let's go you can do it!

Crying in the bathroom is a mood tho

"I want to do better" YOU CAN I BELIEVE IN YOU!! Look at how much happier and better he does with teachers that praise and support him.

Jaehyuk and Jongseob especially are doing well in this performance, but you can tell they're mostly raw talent right now. I think these bby's are good but need more polish. None are ready for debut yet. THEY'LL GET THERE THO!!!!

6-8 months of training and they did this well??? GOOD BOYS GOOD JOB!! This was an incredibly difficult song and performance and they stepped up, GOOD WORK.

Still dont know what scoring is good based on relative scores but I am not surprised Team Growl didnt score as well as Team Boomerang.

I'm super looking forward to Team Dumb and Dumber. I honestly hope they get first place. I stan all these babies.

Even their practice is NEXT LEVEL IM READY.

Byounggon yelling into Yoonbins upside down mic shit I'm already stoked.

Tag urself I'm all the boys backstage jumping up dancing around and singing along this performance is professional-been-debuted-for-years-already level I'm so sold.

How do you top this omfg. I'm calling it now. First place.

Listen I know Keita and Yedam are super cute AJ combination but can we not forget how fucking precious Junkyu and Mashiho AJ combo is? Aaaaaahhhhh

GOOD SCORE. THEY EARNED IT. AMAZING.

Okay Team DNA let's see what u got.

Yedam and Seunghuns vocal skills fuck me up they're so good. How has SH not gotten recognized by YG yet fucc

Poor Yedam, not being able to practice must be messing with him, I hope he did well in his exams.

One hour. One hour to prepare. And he did it. Genius in fucking deed. Honestly from the beginning Yedam is the only one I'm not worried about he's going to debut or this thing is rigged.

This performance is so good but I wish it was shown before Dumb and Dumber cause it doesn't have the same vibe.

Omfg Haruto is so funny I'm ded

YG praising Yedam and Yedams cute reaction <3

HE COMPLIMENTED SEUNGHUN FINALLY. FINALY. FINALLY. FINALLY. TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH YOU EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE TRASH HEAP.

GET BACK TO US IN ONE MINUTE?????? NO TELL ME NOW.

I KNEW IT I KNEW DUMB AND DUMBER WOULD GET FIRST YAAAAA-omg I'm so worried. I'm stressing who will get eliminated.

Omg they're all such lovely friends look how mature and loving they are in such an awful competition, supporting and rooting and crying for each other.

Is it just me or does YG look disappointed?

Tag urself again I'm the treasure makers calling for YG to debut all of them.

Oh my stress. Elimination.

Yedam and Haruto obvi. "These two were somewhat expected" ya duh

AM I A JINX??? AM I A JINX???? WHY DO ALL THE ONES I SUPPORT GET ELIMINATED. SEUNGHUN DESERVES TO DEBUT HE IS READY. DID I DO THIS? IM SO SORRY IM SORRY SEUNGHUN.

First crying is here. I'm crying. This is so fucked look at them all of them. This is awful. Why am I torturing myself.

Keita too this is fucking awful nooooo

THAT WAS HIS MOM???? HIS MOMMA FINALLY GOT TO WATCH HIM BE AMAZING AND GET COMPLIMENTED AND NOW THIS. I'm so worried about him I so hope he continues just a little longer and debuts, even if he has to switch companies to do it since YG treats him like garbage.

Oh God this is worse. Team Boomerang

Hyunsuk ohhhh honey, oh babyyyyy ohhh noooo me too aaahhhhhh

I'm so happy for Jihoon because of his difficulties but the others.... aauugghhh theres no happiness here they're just sad because this competition has been set up to be so unfair and hurtful gdi

Fuck. Last one. Fuck fuck. Fu c k

Jongseob babyyyyy this show did you so dirty.

I was betting Junghwan would be the one and I'm happy for him but also just devastated in general. This is such a massive loss, we just lose so many every week. It would be so much less painful and sad if they just had the boys that were actually ready to debut compete and had smaller elimination rounds but nooooo u want us all to hurt.

Random note but I really like Jaehyuks speaking voice. It's so soft and gentle.

HOW MANY. SAY 7. SAY 9. SAY 11. SAY 28. I'll settle for 7 but sAY 28.

Okay 7. fucK that means we're losing 4. FuCk.

BRINGING BACK 2???? WHO? WHO???? PLEASE SEUNGHUN. PLEASE SEUNGHUN. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. Ffffff who else should come back?

Omg if they bring Seunghun back and then eliminate him again ima be so pissed.

Fuck who is coming back oh god.

Now I'm just gonna be stressed for another week yay.

Please know I love all the trainees with my whole heart and I will support anyone who debuts, I mean no offense at all to anyone and let me know if I've said something harmful.

I cried like 8 times gawd.

#yg treasure box #yg treasure box episode 9 #treasure box reaction #yg treasure box thoughts #why do i torture myself with this show #i just want them all to be happy and successful #when i think of other shows and the ones who didnt make it #and never debuted #it fucks me up #im so worried

[sevi007]

THE VALENTINE BROTHERS SEVI. I DIDNT THINK THAT JAN WAS SO /gestures/ THAT IN THE REAL SERIES BUT HE IS AND IM DYING. The freaking, Konami code. I'm so happy. And WALTER, BEING A BADASS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Poor Seras tho..... Her bed ;u; give the girl her bed back.... (This has turned into a spam live blogging I'm so sorry;;)

Okay so I’m on episode 5 since ive been binging so hard and I am a concern its all gone to hell Sevi. London is fucked and i am worried about walter hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. vanwinke was really great tho. Also why does the scythe wielding person have to be a Nazi they’re so hot /sobs/             

HOLY CRAP THE MASSIVELY UNIMPRESSED LOOK ON INTEGRA’S FACE AS ANDERSON AND HIS CREW GO NUTS HAS ME SOBBING. Integra for biggest bamf alive holy he’ll. They’re a going nuts and shes just ‘having fun there I’m guessing?’ With the most bored and unimpressed expression. What a legend

Okay so has Maxwell always been this insane. Like. He’s literally starting a new crusade to murder all the people ever like. Im. The only one around him with any sanity is the little bowl cut kid that give him the papers. Alucard on that ship has me mentally singing back in black. He’s coming back to start a party. Also Integra giving zero fucks has me living. The cigar scene is so hilarious. They fear her power, too strong. And JFC ANDERSON, SAVAGELY BURNED YOUR OWN PEOPLE HOLY CRAP.     

Holy only did the scythe person invest all their skill points in illusion magic or something omg. And my girl Seras being the biggest BADASS!!!            

I now rescind what I said aboud the scythe person. No longer hot and I’m no longer sad that theyre a naiz. Rest in hell you sack of garbage. Stupid ass hand magic. You did my girl, and pip dirty. Also also, me @ this series in general: go to hell you did not need to do that to my soul. Why did you make me love these mercs and then do this to me. Why. Pip…. Why are you so loveable… I am also even more concerned about walter (I’m on ep 7 btw)      

Yep scythe person opinion is infinity rescinded. Gonna stab them personally.   

I am not okay. PIP YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE HELL WHY. YOU JUST HAD TO GO FOR THE KISS TO MAKE THINGS EVEN MORE PAINFUL   

Oh wow Seras has a berserker rage mode holy shit and FUCKING DAMMIT PIP YOU GOOD MAN I HATE AND LOVE YOU YOU DEUS EX LAST SECOND AAAAAGGGGRRRRAASSSGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS SERIES IS KILLING ME                

 Maxwell is really just murdering everyone eh? While the major stand like a conductor on his blimp. I cannot wait until our home group turns them into mulch.                            

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DID THEY DO TO WALTER WHAT DID THEY DO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA        

Holy shit one million respect points to Anderson for calling Maxwell out on his shit. What the hell I love Anderson so much he’s such a good. ALSO THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN /guitar solo/ It’s all gone insanse and im having the best and worst time hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhb       

Oh man shits getting real Alucard is about to to absolutely beast mode I can feel it. He’s saying the bird of Hermes stuff             

OH BABY HE HAS PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD WHAT HOT DAMN IT’S ALL GONE INSANSE ALUCARD HAS EATEN SO MANY PEOPLE OMG. WHAT THE SHIT HES SO HOT NOW. You know I should have seen this twist coming, his real identity and all but like. They’re so different wtf. This has gone off the rails in the best of ways                 

Wow Maxwell’s death… Almost hurt????? Damn dude. Also Anderson is just. Really good. I love him so much now.    

Damn this fight between alucard and Anderson is so good holy shit and they’re having such fun it looks like??? This is so fun I’m loving it. Anderson has gone a bit nuts tho. And I have a bad feeling          

I MUST REITERATE, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO WALTER. WHAT THE FUCK. NO.    

They should rename Anderson to the human slap chop at this rate. He’s so determined it’s incredible. AND HIS BACKUP STAYED AWWWWWWWWWW Aannnd I think they’re naruto running I am sobbing over this. Also i wanna punch the major in the face. Make him eat my fist.         

What the actual fuck is happening I don’t. I’m so confused and upset Sevi. Why did this have to happen. (Okay one episode to go I think)    

Everything has gone incredibly wrong and I don’t like it. Alucard and Seras are on fire and Anderson has just done whatever the fuck he did???? AND NOW ALUCARD HAS JUST GONE BEAST MODE??? I CAN’T. THIS SERIES NEEDS TO CALM DOWN.    

NO ALUCARD IS SOBBING NOW WHY BOO. DAMMIT ANDERSON WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. ALUCARD IS A DEPRESSED ASSHOLE ANDERSON STOP TAUNTING HIM. THIS SERIES NEEDS TO STOP HURTING ME                             

WHAT THE FUCK WHY ANDERSON STOP THIS YOU’RE HURTING ME       

I am in pain     

WALTER WHAT THE FUCK       

FUCKING NAZIS BRAINWASHED WALTER OR WHATEVER I’M SO MAD

JFC WALTER WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE ARE YOU COPPING NOW YOU BITCH   

WALTER WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING, WHY HAVE YOU TURNED INTO AN EDGY MURDRY EMO          

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW    

 Man Integra and Seras are a pair of badasses. I’m so set for them to kill the major. Also the high coat guy intrigues me. I wanna know what his deal is. Is he a werewolf. I feel like he is. Also what’s up with that long ass pistol. That can’t be practical. YEP HE IS A WOLF THINGY I WAS RIGHT. Alucard is just summoning a tsunami of blood now. Alrighty then. And now I am worried since the major is happy about that.

Oh damn the captain guy is a big ass wolf. And also, I am very concern about Alucard. PIP YOU BACK FROM THE DEAD AGAIN JACKASS I LOVE YOU GO BEST TAG TEAM EVER!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

THE CAPTAIN IS HELPING HIS FOES WHAT. THIS WOLF MAN IS SO STRANGE I LIKE HIM

PIP MANIFESTED????? THE FUCK???? IM???? AND THE WOLF GUY WAS HAPPY TO DIE????? IM???????? SHIT?????? THIS HURTS?????

Wow cheating asshole major with his glass box. I want him to die. AND HE’S GONNA DO WHAT?????? OH FUCK THE CAT GUY I AM A FRIGHTEN

I am so worried and don’t like this.

Wow now I feel kinda bad for Walter. I mean, I’m still mad at him but. I want to major to die. Can I stab him. Please

OH BOY I DON’T LIKE THIS

Oh no he’s stuck in different realities now isn’t he fuck

Oh no    

HAH AT LEAST THE DOCTOR DIED. GET FUCKED. Fuck did they desecrate a woman’s bones I am so lost now. I am too tired for this. DAMMIT WALTER STOP MAKING ME FEEL THINGS YOU ASS. I need to lay down this hurts too much. Everyone’s dead and I am in pain. And kinda nauseous from it. OH SHIT THAT ONE VATICAN PERSON WHO WAS SHOT DIDN’T DIE. SJDJDJSJSISUD INTEGRA LYING TO PENWOODS GRANDSON IM DYING. Fuck I am in pain. And-FUCKER IS HE BACK. STOP TOYING WITH ME SERIES. STOP THIS. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD                                                                                                                                                             

Okay, so, for people wondering: That were 41 asks right there. Quick apology to mobile users, but I had to collect all these, this, this is awesome. Ti, you mad person, did you freaking watch all of the series in one sitting?! XD I love you dude. I just had the time of my life reading through this.

To point a few things out in answer to this:

1) Integra is the most badass in this entire series, you got that absolutely right

2) Walter was NOT brainwashed, a fact he was very adamant about. He decided on his very own that he wanted to betray Hellsing so that he would get a fair chance in fighting Alucard (something he had wanted to do for fifty years) since he’s a vampire hunter and Alucard is THE vampire, and Walter just… misses the battlefield? After staying a simple Butler for all this time. Millenium merely gave him vampire powers so he could revert to younger years so that he may have a chance fighting Alucard.

3) Yes you may stab the Major, go for it

4) The captain wanted to die, so he helped Seras and Pip out by giving them silver (kills werewolves) and laughing in his death. It seems as if he was immortal otherwise and had little chance to disobey Millenium, so he took the only way out he had.

5) The woman’s bones you see there in the end is Mina Harker, a character from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Apart from Seras, she’s the only known woman Alucard ever turned into a vampire - also important to note that he loved her, to whatever degree he is able to. Because she drank his blood (which stayed active inside of her even after her friends somehow managed to turn her human again), it’s the only DNA of Dracula / Alucard that Millenium could get their hands on. They used that Alucard-DNA to make copies and clones of Alucard (all the vampire / ghoul soldiers you saw) and to enhance their other fighters (Rip van Winkle, the scythe guy, even Walter himself).

Ti I absolutely love you, this was such a rollercoaster from start to finish. XD Increasing amount of Caps Lock means you reached the end of the series. *nod*

#long post #i'm so not sorry for this what #this is awesome #ask #ti #hellsing #hellsing ultimate