#damn it why can't the world just heal and be happy

[familyagrestefanblog]

I find it... kinda irritating how saying that Hero Gabriel is still a failure of a father even if he's not a bad person is apparently somewhat of a hot take.

It is irrelevant at what extreme end of the moral spectrum Gabriel is - sadistic villain or heroic saint - fact still remains that you wouldn't notice either with Monarque or Hesperia that they are fathers at all, while simultaneously both Adriens are clearly depicted as teenagers who basically have to re-settle themselves into their lives after they were emotionally orphaned in every sense that matters.

It is irrelevant that Alt Gabriel is a hero, not a bad person or that he wasn't outright abusive like our Gabriel, nothing will change the fact that Griffe Noire Adrien's path to healing goes the same route as our Adrien's.

And that is AWAY from his father, not WITH him.

Griffe Noire at the end was roughly were our Adrien started off at the beginning of the show, just this time with a better path ahead Ladynoir wise since they know their identities.

He changed for the better when our Adrien gave him the self-acceptance, understanding and sympathy he didn't receive from Alt Gabriel or anyone else for the matter.

Helped him overcome the grief of loosing their mother and accepting that the self-harming behavior he's acting on (or both of them) is not something she would want for them.

There are 2 reasons why Alt Adrien couldn't get over his mother's death, and that's 1) because unlike our Adrien, Alt Adrien didn't try finding new happiness in friendship, and 2) because he too couldn't count on his remaining parent (Gabriel) which made him feel his mother's loss even worse.

Alt Gabriel could be the greatest hero of all time and he still would be a fucked up father because he was so busy being a saint that he apparently barely was a father. When alt Gabe cries in the sewer one would think he'd bring up his child as one of his main motivations, but no, he doesn't.

Because Hesperia is just as little characterized as a FATHER as Monarque.

That aspect of Gabriel didn't change.

Hesperia didn't even fucking know that his son is Griffe Noire either, how attentive to you think this man IS??

Alt Adrien goes on the same path as our Adrien and that's away from being emotionally dependent on his father - the way a 14 year old should normally ALLOWED TO BE bc thats NATURAL and how it's supposed to be - to make friends, but most importantly he sure as hell went on being emotionally dependend on HIS Maribug the way our Adrien was/is

Especially the last picture is extremely telling (and one would think our Marinette would finally start paying attention bc Griffe Noire's change right in front of her eyes is literally all she would need to help her fully understand HER Chat Noir's behavior and how that came to be. But apparently we can't ever have Marinette pick up on the most obvious stuff about Chat Noir's problems).

Unlike Toxinelle who is waving goodbye while holding Griffe's hand, HE is not acknowledging our dimension anymore even when he's the last one to enter the portal by a good bit, bc he's so fixated on his Maribug as his whole world bc just like our Adrien he's literally emotionally an orphan and needs an anchor like everyone else.

Good chance that Toxinelle thinks they're just normally holding hands and she's merely going in first, but no, he is letting her lead him out. He doesn't care whats behind or ahead of him, he's just seeing her.

Alt Gabriel is an awful father and you can tell because Alt Adrien literally has to re-settle in life similar to an orphan while his father is still alive and living in the same damn house!

THAT'S what decides if Alt Gabriel is an awful father, NOT him running around as a charming hero. The quality of parenthood is NOT measured by how "good of a person" the parent is, it's measured by the child's fucking well-being

And I don't know if you noticed it by now, but this is the same logic as our Gabriel being hailed a hero after his death. The special already elaborates on this new angle of Gabriel suddenly being a "hero" while he very clearly was a monstrous failure of a father (and person).

So what side are YOU gonna be on here?

Are you going to victim blame Adrien by just declaring Gabriel Agreste a great, blameless and loving father now because that's what you're being told at face-value while the narrative conveniently plays the case in Gabriel's favors by removing all of them from the dimension they are actually from so his faults are being mostly covered up, and Adrien's looks worse without its proper context of their home-dimension and father-son dynamic

Or are you going to fucking LOOK at the child this amazing hero is emotionally abandoning on a daily in way too many ways and ask yourself if that's the result of a competent and attentive parent?

#ml spoilers #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ml paris spoilers #keeping up with the agrestes #The way people take Gabriel's side in a heartbeat in this and s5 is one disgusting spectacle to behold guys #Keeping it classy with abuse apologia just bc the abuser now has a shiny coat and is being called a hero

[thosewildcharms]

Just broke my own heart thinking about Rick being absent for Lori’s pregnancy with Judith since he was, understandably, emotionally checked out AND being completely absent with Michonne’s for RJ and how he missed welcoming them both into the world, plus not seeing them grow up as he said, for a man that only cares about his family he must carry so much guilt over that or feel cursed… also thought about Michonne probably being extremely anxious when RJ turned the age Andre was when he died and she had no one to talk to about it. Thinking about her having to deal with it all while being a grieving single mother of 2 leading a community also made me sad. lol I know they’re both resilient fighters but damn all of that is so heavy! I’m so happy they’re all back together now and can start some healing

ANON BESTIE WHAT THE FUCK?

well okay sure. let's be depressing for a bit but then we should go back to grimes family headcanons okay?

it's honestly so tragic that rick was not able to see the birth of the child he wanted so badly, that he didn't even know RJ existed for almost a decade. the length of that time jump is honestly so evil - like yes, on one level it heightens the intensity of their bond, the way that they never even considered anyone else over all those years and stayed completely in love throughout that absence and distance. but god, it's just a really fucking long time. it's devastating!

it's also why I love that scene in the towl finale where rick expresses how angry he is about it, how just for a minute he lets himself say out loud that he just wants to be selfish for once and say fuck it let's go home, because he doesn't want to miss any more time than he already has. i also love the way andy played the reunion with judith and rj: the quiet grief in his face because he's mourning the time lost even while they're right in front of him, maybe even more so. like, of course he was distraught over how much he missed. this man held a shard of glass to his neck when he truly thought he could never see his family again (which i think we moved on from a bit too quickly tbh). his love for his family is his motivation for everything. keeping him away from them is the worst thing you could do to him, which is btw is why i'm not mad okafor is dead.

as for michonne. well my god anon did you have to go there with that andre/rj thing? i mean, yes you're absolutely right and you're completely brilliant but jfc that hurt. i honestly can't even think about those six years michonne spent grieving rick and raising their kids and protecting that community and getting that scar and everything else without getting upset. i genuinely hate it so much. i'm also constantly thinking about the scene where she finds evidence that rick is alive, the specific way her face contorts as she holds that phone like she's scared to even dare to hope, even though she never fully believed he was gone in the first place. we already saw how much she was struggling but that scene makes me want to set myself on fire. it's all just so fucking sad.

so yes. they better be left alone to heal in peace forever no more Situations no more near death experiences no more wars or fascist megalomaniacs with armies to overthrow. they've done enough!

#richonne #the ones who live #side note anon: #i'm a bit confused about what you mean by rick being absent for judith's birth because he was emotionally distant #like yes he was obviously but am i remembering incorrectly or did lori give birth unexpectedly while the prison was under attack? #like i thought he was straight up just unaware it was even happening. i like to think he would have been there if he knew/was able #but maybe i'm giving him too much credit lol #or am i just being obtuse and that's exactly what you're mean by him feeling cursed? because he missed both due to ~circumstances? #not arguing with you btw because i agree either way he's prone to emotionally self-flagellating i'm just wondering if i'm missing something

[chiyoso]

original pin

hi pookie. to those who read this the first time, welcome back, to the first time reading this, womp womp. this is a re-write.

an update of this owner's blog. i kinda found the initial update i did rushed, and not clearly descriptive of my situation outside outside this writing hobby of mine. also for the ones that i tagged, i have notes for you <3 (sorry for the tag 🫶🏻)

alright. hello hello. i'm chiyo, a jjk-focused/sporadic genshin and hsr fanfic writer, and you've caught me, and this blog in such bad time, and im so, so very fucking burnt out.

writing for me should be fun, stress relieving, and that goes for any other hobby i have. i have been told and supported countless of times to take a rest, to take a break from this, but my stubborn ass continues to try and get something out, anything to keep my blog alive, hells, it feels like a toxic relationship where i keep coming back, because i remember all the fun, happy and fond times i had in this app, only then to return to why it becomes draining, exhausting.

just sat there, occasionally laid on my back, using my phone, but with unmoving thumbs, with a brain lacking the world that needs the narrative to make a story, fuck, where has it gone?

that innocent, startup of mine, the newfound love and interest for that world of fiction that you all create. dude, i remember being so happy discovering that this brain of mine can conjure up so many shit, all because of your words, it's fucking amazing. hence, the start of the era of my honkai star rail writing journey. (hsr/hi3rd fans who followed me, i let you down with my jujutsu kaisen brainrot obsession im sorry lmao)

“take a break hira,” “take a break chiyo,” “please, take a break.”

i've heard it all, and with utmost love and respect, thank you.

thank you for everything, every word, every action, and every peep of interest you all had for me. small and big creators, who, stopped by because of my small percent chance drop in on their feed, because of the stories i created that you shared, i've met so many wonderful, inspring and motivating people in tumblr, fuck, i didn't expect to crrate a little community all by myself, with my grit alone, it's so rewarding for someone who strives for perfection, for someone who struggles with her mental health daily, for someone who deluded themselves in a world of fiction, I can't express my genuine gratitude enough.

i'm not quitting. maybe i should've mentionrd that earlier to prevent you from getting rattled, but continuing off, i don't find myself quitting this writing journey, maybe i'm just not in the right mental headspace for it at this time. damn, my ex really fucked me up LMAO.

right, i'm aware of the less and lessening interactions i've had with the people i've encountered throughout tumblr, i feel sick of myself for not being able to catch up, nor interact with any of you as much as i could anymore, it really, really fucking sucks, i hate it, i hate it, i do.

i still have leftover projects to go over and publish, because i still want MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY worlds of fictional prowess to all of you. i'm not done, but i will say, that i'm- i'm so incredibly, so very sorry to the ones that were highly, to the heavens, expecting greatness from me, to the ones who were anticipating my unfinished stories, fuck, there's so much to do, yet my body, my mind, they do not respond, as if i'm losing my sense of time, literally.

all i can say to those sticking with me because of their plain interest for me, i wish, i pray, i'll beg, beg for me, my soul, my mind, my body, my spirit to heal, and heal faster, so i can love you all at my 100%, not with my trying 20%, and lower.

thank you. to the old, and to the recent supporters that got me to 3k followers and counting, fuckin' wild. actually insane.

i'll continue to write. i'll continue to create. i don't want to quit.

i don't want to leave the only thing that gave me freedom, and the genuine happiness the first time, making me discover shit about myself, and there's that.

p.s. apologies for my jjk brainrot everyone who followed for genshin and hsr <3 also that one popular otome game, love & deepspace? yeah, that shit's also fucking me up so good.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (lawd i feel bad for tagging)

@ainescribe @wanderingconstellations @teapartyspilled @v3lv3tf0x @ciarchivez ⸻ you fucking OGS. literally five pillars of my life, the cheerleaders, my absolute undying support of this blog, you saw me at my noob tumblr handling form, the lows, the highs, and the absolute peaks, i consider all of you special, i do, you all made tumblr and the writing community such a fun place for me. thank you, thank you, i just can't spam that voiceline enough.

@peachdues @screampied @chuluoyi @blkkizzat @jabamin @flametrashira @meowzfordayz ⸻ you superstar mutuals of mine. we've only interacted sporadically, PLEASE BLAME MY BURNOUT AND COLLEGE SCHEDULE FOR THAT, but all of you invoked so much burning hope, and motivation for me through your stories, AND your interests for me, whether it'd be something about my themes, edits, stories, it doesn't matter, you all took interest in lil' ol me, despite what, being such big content creators? FUCK??? that's insane. thank you.

god, i seriously wish my schedule would just clear up by a fuckton, and then again, i was the one who took psychology and performing arts 💤 i hope, hope HOPE i get to interact with you all again once i take a leave/break from college.

⸻ with all my love, chiyo.

#real shit i think i just need dick #that or a love so overwhelming from a person that theyll die for me cos id do the same

[hyperactivewhore]

How did you feel with Hope’s and Rebekah’s interactions in legacies? I was really disappointed in Rebekah. I understand that Klaus and Hayley would’ve hated to see Hope without her humanity, but Rebekah had no right to say that Klaus would be disappointed in Hope. Hope has been through so much, and no one in her family seemed to care. Rebekah, and the rest of the mikaelsons, seemingly abandoned Hope - which would’ve disappointed Klaus, Hayley, and Elijah way more than Hope unwillingly turning off her humanity. Say what you will about Elijah, and you can say a lot because he was awful (especially towards Marcel), but he wouldn’t have allowed Hope to deal with malivore and a random god alone. It still makes me angry that the Mikaelsons helped Hope regain her humanity but scattered when she was in danger once more because of some idiotic god named Ken.

Rebekah got on my nerves so badly, to be honest. She showed up out of nowhere after years of no contact and she just expected Hope to be happy and not hold a grudge against the fact that they left her completely alone to die???

Honestly, the Mikaelson (and by this I mean Kol, Rebekah and Freya) did not care for Hope that much even in The Originals. They had set crazy expectations in her and once they saw Hope didn't fit their happily ever after, they dumped her.

I'm not saying they didn't love her because they clearly did, but they cared more about her being the redemption of their family/what she was supposed to "fix" way more than they cared for Hope herself: in my opinion, the only people who didn't see her as their redemption were Klaus and Hayley and don't get me wrong, Klaus was a shitty father but at least he along with Hayley never put any expectation in her.

I mean, Freya already expressed her little interest in making sure Hope kept her innocence as a kid in this conversation:

[HAYLEY: I've done plenty wrong in my life, Freya. But things are different now. I have a sweet little girl who's going around healing injured fireflies with her magic. If we're keeping someone captive in our barn, she's gonna have questions.

FREYA: Then tell her that the world's a bad place and that sometimes we have to do bad things to survive. She'll be safer if she learns that early.

HAYLEY: It's not her job to keep herself safe. It's mine. It's ours. And that includes protecting her innocence.

FREYA: She's a Mikaelson -- she can live without her innocence. She can't live without her family. She's a Mikaelson, and you're-]

And as any other Mikaelson loves doing, Freya made sure to remind her of why Hayley would never be actually part of her family: she doesn't share their blood. I mean, look at Hope; she does share their blood and yet they didn't give a damn about her, Freya didn't care about making sure she grew as normal as possible (extremely difficult with their lifestyle), Rebekah ditched Hope the moment she stopped being a baby because she couldn't live her fantasy of wanting to cosplay as a mother and Kol wasn't even allowed to be around her when she was a baby, and then they never actually developed a bond once she grew up.

Of course, this is controversial because in The Originals, judging by the phone call Hope has with Kol, the way she behaves around Freya and that line in Legacies about Rebekah teaching her how to dance, it is implied they were close enough to have a good relationship and that they did care for her. And she's even closer to Marcel, if we take into account how comfortable and happy they act with each other.

Freya did say she saw Hope as the kid she lost and of course, the moment she had a kid of her own she dumped her. Rebekah was obsessed with being a mother and yet it's proven time and time again to be a shitty person around kids: the grooming with Marcel, being mean to Elena and Caroline because she was jealous and not giving a damn about Hope once she grew up and then we have Kol, who funnily enough seems to be closer to her than Freya and Rebekah and of course Marcel, the person Hope loves more than any of her blood relatives lol.

Don't get me wrong, Legacies played a big part in the way the Mikaelson ruined their relationship with Hope, but I don't get why people act so surprised and hurt about their abandonment of her when there were already signs of this in The Originals. The only reason they even stayed together for a millennium was because of Elijah and because Klaus refused to let them go, so of course they would fall apart once they died.

And yes, I agree with the whole Elijah thing. He loved Hope a lot once he got to know her in season five and he would have never left her alone in the Salvatore school, but he would also never have allowed her to stay that long on it.

#someday i'll write that post about why every mikaelson including rebekah would be a shitty parent #klaus mikaelson #hope mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #freya mikaelson #hayley marshall #marcel gerard #the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to

[bianotbia]

— 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 [𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐧]

This IS completely ooc and probably isn't canon at all, I'm just sad I can't play the game. I admit this could've been better but I did my best cause he's pretty and the lore is amazing <3 I hope astarion fans are kind to me :')

⤷ resume : you made a promise to find a way of curing astarion's vampirism and you'll do whatever it takes to accomplish it [wc: 4.5k]

⤷ contains : gn! archfey warlock! reader x astarion, angst, suggestive, a bit of fluff, mentions of blood, bruises and scars, psychological abuse and trauma

⤷ taglist : @lemondrop-symphony / @i-literally-cant-with-this

⤷ now playing A whole new world by Zayn & Zhavia Ward

I can show you the world

Shining, shimmering, splendid

Tell me, princess, now when did

You last let your heart decide?

I can still hear the deafening silence of that fading morning, the sight of the corpses of my parents and brother laying so peacefully on their beds after succumbing to an ancient curse would haunt me forever. First came silence within cold halls and muted walls that listened but never replied, then came the voices and mutterings that made company to this lost soul that believed would never be happy again. As months went by, hunger grew along with the despair of meeting the same end as my family, cloaked by the shadows of an alley I longingly gazed at a fruits stand a few meters away “Why don’t you take one, child?” a voice echoed in my head “They come from the forest, from my long lost home, I can assure you they are property of no man” I look down at my wrists and the fresh red marks that still adorn them from my last theft. “Don’t worry child, leave it to me” I felt magic coursing through my veins and surrounding my body the air around me became hazy as I stumbled ahead, frightened eyes meeting the merchant’s ones who only looked away as if I was never really there. With a feast worthy of any king I indulged in fruits and breads brought to me by the wonders of magic “I see you enjoy your well deserved meal” it wasn’t a whisper anymore that talked to me “You're a smart child, I believe you already know I’m not coming from your inner self” I didn’t reply it, I never do, living in a half elvian and half human house provided me with knowledge of ancient beings and higher forces that are never meant to be fully trusted. “I’ve been observing you for a while and I might say we can be a great pair. What do you say about making a deal?” I shivered slightly and remembered the dim days that haunted me and the darker ones that laid ahead “Your unquestioning loyalty for anything you want…power, knowledge, protection…and even company”. The lively sounds of the streets seemed to die out and memories of that deafening silence flooded back “...Deal�� a low chuckle echoed inside “Wonderful, I hope I can count on your loyalty from now on my dear child” unfortunately my stomach still rumbles and fear still desolates my soul “I always keep my promises”. Ancient fey runes burned across my tender flesh and just like that my broken soul pledged allegiance to something I so desperately wanted to rely on. I prayed for the gods to get back what I’d lost and they took everything I had left.

I can open your eyes

Take you wonder by wonder

Over, sideways and under

On a magic carpet ride

Among bugs and weird shadows, the party returned to the secluded camp after another tiring quest, blood dripping in the dirty ground as we all stumbled to safety “Look I really like you guys and all but honestly I prefered when I worked alone y’know, quiet as a shadow and not with a damn loud wizard, a githyanki and a flamboyant vampire” Lae’zel huffed and gripped my shoulder menacingly “I'll let it slide this time, sweety pie” with nervous laughter I lifted my arms in playful surrender “Alright, alright! It’s just a joke!”. Finally settled, we all arranged our spots and started healing the daily wounds and planning what would be our next step on this mission. The smell of food could already be felt through the camp, after getting myself clean and all patched up I look over to a certain vampire struggling to stitch a tiny cut on his forehead, “Need a hand there” he sighed and handed me a bottle of healing solution “A complete disaster it would be if I ever ended up with a scar on my face. How could I ever live knowing there is an horrendous cut on it?” I let out a giggle as I finished the stitches “It's really not that bad don't worry”. The camp grew silent as most of the party members fell into deep slumber “You know you could have asked anyone else to heal this with magic” Astarion shrugged and scoffed “Don’t really trust Gale and his big hands or Shadowheart with her suspicious stares” I hummed and gazed at the clear night sky “Did you really mean it when you said you prefer working alone as you used to?” the cicadas sang between the bushes and filled the sudden silence “Not really actually, I like your company” his amused laugh warmed my heart “Mine or these inconvenient companions” a smile grew on my lips “I'm really happy I met all of you. I just want to end this nightmare and go back to normal” the vampire scoffed “I don't think normal is suitable to describe our early lives…especially mine” I laid my head on his shoulder “Sometimes I forget you're a vampire” at least he doesn't fidget anymore when I come closer “Well I can't have this luxury” for a moment I recall hidden memories of a forgotten past “...What if I promised to find a way to heal your vampirism” he let out a tired sight “I would say you finally turned out insane” his crimson eyes might appear distant yet there's still hope calling from beyond this mask “I will make sure you have a happy ending Astarion, just like you deserve” he rises from where we were sitting “Well be my guest, let's see if you can keep your word child” a shiver went down my spine as I saw him drifting into the shadows “I always keep my promises”.

A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view

No one to tell us "no"

Or where to go

Or say we're only dreaming

Later that night, when our emotions dampened and tiredness got the best of us, everybody laid soundly on their mats, unfortunately there have been years already that I didn't go a single night without a bad dream or rather without an encounter with my patron. The whimsical scenario before me looked familiar, a lake of dark waters found ominously in the middle of a forest cloaked by the night, resembling a clear mirror reflecting the starry sky above. As always I'm standing in its middle, somewhere where I can't clearly see the borders or anything beyond. The water hits my waist while my bare chest remains exposed and vulnerable out of it, unlike he that stands before me, vines covering most of his naked body, his greenish skin scintillating under the crescent moon and antlers imposingly reaching for the sky – Oberon, the king of forests and father of all faeries – extended his clawed hand towards me. “Tell me child what afflicts your soul tonight, you seem more restless than usual” I slowly walked towards him “I need your help. I need to help him” he made a disapproving expression “Who? The vampire? Not my favorite creatures” “Please, I promised him I would at least try to search for a cure” Oberon clicked his tongue yet his gaze changed “You know that's not how things work child, vampirism is a curse for life…however I believe there's something you could try, but only if you are willing to give up a part of your own self for it” I looked defiantly at him “I did it once I believe I can do it again” his dark grin grew even larger “Oh a child in love, can anything be more sweet than that. Fair enough, the Crossed Fates is a simple ritual for lovers who are willing to change their own fates with the one of their other half” his words started to sink in and until realization hit, he hummed “However be aware that you need to be sure he’s truly in love with you or else who knows what might happen” his mocking expression didn't calm my uneasy heart, Oberon traced his fingers over my cheek and chuckled “I know very well what's the look of someone in love, it isn't about you I'm worried about…” my stomach twisted with his words “I made him a promise and I always keep my word” “Oh I'm sure about that” after vanishing in thin air I blink a few times and look around but he’s no longer there, the sky above was now starless adorned solely by a full blood moon, I looked down at my hands and saw them stained with a crimson thick liquid just like the one that now surrounded me while I got pulled back into unconsciousness, a lonesome scream ripping through my throat gets lost into the night.

A whole new world

A dazzling place I never knew

But when I'm way up here

It's crystal clear

That now I'm in a whole new world with you

Day after day we fought our enemies and got a little bit closer to our destiny yet the promise I did echoed louder each time I thought about Astarion. After days of adventures in hostile land we left the wilderness and finally arrived at the city of Baldur's Gate, a place I once called home, whose dirty streets brough memories of darker memories still imprinted on the corners of my stained mind. Before we continued our mission we decided to split up and recharge, for the worst is yet to come, everyone went on to do what they desired but not Astarion who seemed quite uneasy on this familiar ground “Unsolved business here?” he huffed “Too many to count, but I rather not think about them now” thinking about cheering him up a little bit I proposed “Would you accompany me to some drinks?” a smirk appeared on his handsome face “How can I say no to that” together we stepped into the restless pulse of the city. After a few drinks at the Elfsong Tavern I decided to show him a special place I used as a hideout for many years, through dark alleys and high roofs we finally reached the peak of a church's tower majestically reaching for the heavens above. Near the grandiose bells, was a small dusty chamber, now completely empty if not for a small chest on a dim lit corner, I picked its lock and found inside a forgotten treasure of my earlier years, tons of little relics, silver watches, golden rings, shiny daggers, dazzling through the dirt. Astarion observed the artifacts inside until his gaze landed on a certain necklace, a golden chain adorned with a shimmering emerald “What's this doing here?” I gazed at the jewelry on his hand then at him “I lied to you” the vampire furrowed his brows, his hands clenched around the stone and he took a deep breath “About what dear?” “We've already met before once…here in Baldur’s Gate” his face morphed into one of confusion and shock “We did? How? I think I would have remembered a pretty face like yours” the smile on his face didn't last long “I wasn’t so sure when we met at the beach but I knew you resembled someone. A few years ago I was at a tavern thinking about ways of completing a task for my patron when I saw a pale elf sitting nearby gazing with distant eyes at the dancing bodies” he gulped down “You locked eyes with me and came closer to where I was sitting, something told me you weren’t a normal elf. After whispering something on my ear the only thing I remember is feeling the necklace in my hand”. Astarions breathing seemed uneven and his gaze somewhere far away in time “Later that night I saw you leaving the tavern, you looked back at me a bit hesitant but just turned away” the quietness above the busy streets was comforting and the warm breeze somehow evoked those forgotten days “What a small world we live in, to ever wonder we would meet again in such circumstances'' he sadly smiled. “Would you ever live in Baldur's Gate again Astarion?” I asked “I believe there's far too many memories here which I rather let it rot in oblivion” sitting shoulder to shoulder with him I reached for his hand “I’m no foreign to the feelings you carry, I too know how it is to be lost…just a puppet in someone else's hands. But that doesn't mean you can’t find a new destiny for yourself” he gracefully intertwined our fingers and for once in so long the silence in my mind felt pleasant to my heart.

Unbelievable sights

Indescribable feeling

Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling

Through an endless diamond sky

The sky grew darker and darker, we all decided it was better to meet at the tavern and rent a few rooms for us to rest, at least among cheers and warm candle lights things didn’t feel as bad as they were, for a brief moment we could taste how it is to live a normal life, a life without whispers, dark marks or devil contracts. But he was still there, he still came to me every night, a curse and a blessing I’m fated to live till the end of my days. The cheerful laugher and loud chatting seem so distant until I feel Gale tapping on my shoulder and asking to have a word with me in private, when we found an isolated room he turned to me with a worried expression “Look I’m not gonna beat around the bush, you may not be a wizard or a sorcerer but you have great magic in your hands” I wonder where he’s trying to get and he continued “Honestly in all my years of knowledge I never heard or seen anything on recovering vampirism. So I don’t know what you're thinking about doing or what your patron promised you, it won’t work”. I opened my mouth but no words left “...How did you?” “Astarion seems a little drunk right now and is boasting to everyone how he likes you more than all of us, how you understand and cares for him, and that you promised to cure him” I let out a tired breath “Look everything is under control. I know what I'm doing” the wizard raised his hands in surrender “Alright but you know better than anyone that every magic has a price. Just promise me you won’t hurt yourself?” the whispers got louder in my ears as I motioned to leave “I don’t think I can promise you that…but sure I'll try” I left Gale behind and went to my room, unaware that behind the shadows of the night a certain vampire listened to our conversation.

A whole new world (Don't you dare close your eyes)

A hundred thousand things to see (Hold your breath, it gets better)

I'm like a shooting star

I've come so far

I can't go back to where I used to be

The evening got quieter but the thoughts inside didn’t cease, I prepared a bath hoping to scratch down all of the tiredness that weighed me down and the dirt accumulated within all those days in the wilderness. The voices in the hallways could still be heard yet they seemed far away, the stillness of the water reminded me a bit too much of my nightmares yet it still feels calming enough for a sore soul. The stars danced out of the window in the great sky above, so hypnotizing I didn’t even hear the door unlocking. “Oh what I would give up to share this bath with you darling” the familiar velvety voice pulled me back to reality “Good lord! Don't sneak on me like that” I shot a glare at him as he leaned at the door frame laughing “So…what do you say?” I muttered a consent and looked away as he slowly undressed and got into the tub. Even if we were a lot more intimate than when we started, I still wasn’t used to having someone so close to me “Don’t need to get all shy, little thief. I’m not mad about my stolen necklace” I leaned my head on the edge of the tub “That’s not really what I was thinking now” “Oh really then tell me what do you have in mind” I silenced a gasp took a breath and asked him “What would you like to do when this is all over?” he cocked his brow surprised “Huh not expecting that…well I can see myself in a splendid, enormous and bright mansion far away. Living my days in frivolous delight with someone to make me company” I can't help but let out a giggle “I'll pretend I believe that, so who would be that someone?” “Oh darling don't play oblivious, who else would I share my happy ending other than the one who promised it to me” I could feel his fingers caressing mine under the water “Must be nice living a quiet life…I’ll keep my word Astarion”. The elf had a sad smile on his face as we sat together in silence “Not that I was spying on you but I've heard your talk with Gale, so you did find a solution after all” “I could say so I guess, didn't expect you would tell everyone about it” “I might have gotten a tad excited. But about your conversation with the wizard, it's not something risky, is it?” “Don’t worry about it. I've done many rituals, it will go out fine” he hummed and I gazed at the moonlight again. “Do you love me?” Astarion widened his eyes with the sudden question, his mouth opened but didn't made a sound while I let out a nervous laugh “I’m sorry, I don't know where that came from, you don’t have to answer that… you should have seen your face tho” he anxiously furrowed his brows and averted his gaze “Well…If love means wanting to share your curses and blessings, your nightmares and dreams, the worst and best days of yours life, then perhaps…I do” now it was my turn to go speechless, he comes closer and carefully puts a strand of my hair behind my ear slowly leaning in, our lips barely touching each other like soft feathers of angels finally descending into desire. His hands wandered through my skin as our tongues moved in sync until we pulled apart breathless, he leaned back at the tub and I laid my head on his chest, slender fingers traveled along the runes on my skin while trailing the remaining cracks of a lost soul.

A whole new world

With new horizons to pursue

I'll chase them anywhere

There's time to spare

Let me share this whole new world with you

The veil of dreams fell as swiftly as a feather across the starless sky, the red moon seemed brighter than ever above the eerie waters that once again surrounded me. A little far ahead stood Oberon, with dark piercing eyes and the condescending smile that never left his lips “The big night is coming, are you ready for it child?” my stomach sank “I-I’m starting to…doubt if I should really do this” he mockingly hummed “Scared of him not loving you enough or perhaps are you finally realizing your dark destiny. Are you willing to go that far for him?” the whispers inside started to grow louder “A broken soul can’t heal another broken soul, one of them is alway bound to break a little more” the air in my lungs seemed to vanish “We still have a contract, you shouldn't get distracted by silly emotions. You know you’ll have to let him go after the ritual, why would he want a reminder of the past he so desperately wants to forget” a knot forms on my throat “Shut up!...please” tears travel down my face “I don’t want to lose him too…you’ll still be here right?” sharp claws traced my jaw and lifted my chin to look at his maddening irises “I won’t ever leave your side darling”. Once again he disapeared in thin air, under the red ominous waters I could feel palms climbing up my legs and gripping my torso, no sound left my mouth as I desperately tried to free myself from that strong grasp pulling me to dark oblivion. My heart felt like it would burst out off my chest, however I start to feel a tight grip on my wrists pinning me down on the bed as I slowly get back to my senses, only to see Astarion’s fangs dangerously nearing my neck, his touch besited when he noticed the scared look in my eyes “Pardon me darling…I believe tonight's occurrences made me a bit too excited” feeling him above me made my heart beat even faster making the grip he holds around my wrists tight but still letting go “You did seemed a bit restless, a nightmare perhaps?” I nodded “Nothing unusual about that…tomorrow at dawn we’ll leave to the forest to do the ritual” his brows raised in surprise but still he quietly assented “then I believe it’s better for me to leave the room, before any other accidents happen and so you can properly rest” he motioned to leave the bed when I reached for his bare torso, sliding my hands around his waist and softly pulling him back having my chest pressed to his back “I think I can handle you like this” feeling his stiff body slowly ease under my touch as we both fell in sweet slumber.

A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view

No one to tell us "no"

Or where to go

Or say we're only dreaming

The sun rose in a scintillating sky as we woke up at the break of dawn just as the city started its bustle and liveliness, together we made our way towards a secluded forest nearby where Oberon advised us to do the ritual. For a little while we walked in silence until Astarion thought it was too quiet “I would like to know what exactly is going to happen on this ritual, given the fact I’m practically putting my life on your hands here” I thought about it “Fair enough. There isn’t much mystery around it actually, we’ll get inside a lake and make a cut in our palms, after that we face each other with our fingers interlocked, I’ll recite an enchantment and when you least expect goodbye fangs” he seemed to expected something more “Huh quite simple, what about the whole thing of every magic has its price that Gale mentioned, what’s the price?” my throat went dry “Don’t worry I took care of that already”. It was a long way until we finally found the place mentioned, crooked trees and weavering shadows encircling an eerie lake so clear it could almost be considered a mirror, the only thing left now is to wait for the rise of the blood moon. The clock seemed to go backwards until the time finally came, I took Astarion’s hand and led him until the dark waters reached our waists “Are you ready?” I took a dagger out of my pocket “Would you let me have the honor, I might say I’m more experienced with sharp things” he took my hand into his and caressed my palm, before I could even realize the cut was made the warm liquid already dripped into the lake, he took a sharp breath and quickly made the same to his own hand. We positioned ourselves facing each other, raised our palms and intertwined our fingers, the ancient words of the incantation dripped from my tongue as I’ve known it forever until I let out a long breath. “I-I lied…about the price to pay” the grip on my hand tightened “What are you talking about? You seem to lie quite a lot for someone that claims to always keep their word, don’t you?” I looked around noticing a far too familiar shadow hidden behind the trees “Just enough for the right thing to happen. I’m sorry…it’s for your own good” when the final words of the ritual leave my lips the last thing I remember is our hands letting go of each other and our bodies falling into the mysterious water.

A whole new world (Every turn, a surprise)

With new horizons to pursue (Every moment red-letter)

I'll chase them anywhere

There's time to spare

Let me share this whole new world with you

The natural mirror reflected the downward red moon until a hand broke away from its stillness, Astarion surged from the depths of it gasping for air and coughing up the water in his lungs, as he tried to steady himself in the uneven ground below he finally sees, a bright reflection weavering through the water ondulations looking back at him, as he runs his hands through his own face a loud laugh escapes his mouth and echoes beyond the crooked trees “It worked, it worked! You did it! … darling?” the wide smile in his lips slowly faded out. As he looked around the only movement on the water was the waves around his own movements, back to the dark depths he desperately searched for the one he so much needed, anxious hands reaching for something familiar in this unanny place. After a few moments our fingertips finally meet each other as he quickly pulled my limp body out of the water, dragging it to the shallow part “No no no! What have you done?” brushing off the damped hair out of my face I felt a feverish haze spreading through all over my fles, unconsciously gripping on his shirt and coughing up the water I swallowed, he held me closely into his arms until his hands moved to my back and touched through the damped fabric of my shirt markings that are far too familiar to him, demonic imprints he was more than sure didn’t belong on my skin “Darling…what is this? What did you do?” the fear was clear on his voice as tears falled down my now crimson eyes and got lost in those hollow waters “I kept my promise…it was the only way” his face morphed into one of pain and disbelief finally seeing the fangs he was once used to having “No…No! This isn't fair…you know I hate when you play hero” I gazed at Astarion’s bright green irises and reached a finger to dry the tears that cascaded down his face “I always knew you had such pretty eyes” he rested his forehead on mine and whispered “Having you by my side was already the happiest ending I could ever wish for, my love”.

A whole new world (A whole new world)

That's where we'll be (That's where we'll be)

A thrilling chase (A wondrous place)

For you and me

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion x tav #baldurs gate 3 imagine #bg3 astarion #astarion x reader #bg3 imagine #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate astarion

[diazfox]

(A tentative guess about your BuckTommy vs Buddie post)

I guess a big part of it is because it's canon ? It's canon and it seems to work, and it seems to be make Buck calm and fluffy and happy in a healthy way, which is what a lot (all ?) of us want. So we can get behind that, for now.

Your "why not a similar support behind his exes / fetishizing MM relationship" question is valid and i think the difference is because it's the first time someone Buck dates seems to really fit with him without having something that we can pre-shot is going to be a problem, and the first time he goes into a relationship (getting myself ahead of things there) without it being to heal something in him ? And as I've read other people point out, Tommy's not silo-ed out, he has a backstory with the Begins episodes, he is friends with some of the 118, so it makes him less of a plot device than Buck's female exes.

And about the second part, the fetishizing part, i think sadly it's just a real thing that happens here, on tumblr and in fandom spaces : men are seen enjoying being together and fandom smooches them together together. One could even argue that it's the same for Buddie, wanting them to be together together when canon just factually says they are BFFs. I don't think anyone is erasing anything, but all that is canon about Buddie is that they are BFFs (a lot can be read as more that friends but ultimately it's with shipping goggles on, only - i'm not a very optimistic person, though).

I guess some of us think that if they didn't make Buddie happen for this long, then it may be because it is meant to stay on the fandom shipping side ? And we're given this incredible chance to have a canon lgbt character with an unusual story of self-discovery that doesn't happen a lot in tv shows so we're just enthusiastic to go with the flow ?

And if it turns out that the writers have the guts to get Eddie his own self-discovery journey, and if that later leads to Buddie happening somehow, then I think all BuckTommy shippers will be glad that it finally happened, and that it is canon, and is finally the Truth.

damn, thanks for your insight! i do see how things being canon and properly canon (like Tommy having a "backstory") can cause shifts in perspectives looking into the future.

i 100% understand why some might think buddie is a form of fetishization too. ngl i've seen strong arguments like "why can't 2 male characters share a strong emotional bond platonically? why does it have to lead to romance?" i guess my main reason for bringing up fetishization with respect to bucktommy is the fact that they are quite lacking in the "strong emotional bond" department. so it feels pretty much like "2 hot guys kissing and touching each other hell yeah" to me.

but i realise i'm overlooking the fact that this is bi buck's first relationship, though. i forgot to consider the fact that majority of this support for tommy comes from the fact that this is the first love interest of buck's to whom he can give all of himself and get twice as much with all the freedom in the world AS A BI MAN. thank u for putting me on to the fact that i've been misinterpreting this enthusiasm to some degree.

thats not to say that just bc something is canon or just a headcanon everything is set in stone. writers and actors themselves have made it very clear time and time again that audience reactions and engagement matters when it comes to plot development. in your own line of thought, right until 7x 03 they didn't make bi Buck happen for so long. so would u say it was meant to stay merely on the fandom shipping side? i just think the possibilities are endless, and maybe we as a fandom can try to have a bit more resilience to see through fan-originated storylines instead of a "i'll just go with whatever is canon bc it's easier" ethic.

#911 #911 on abc #evan buckley #buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz

[tatasoom]

PREVIEW IS PLAYING WITH US!

Hello, fellow Last Twilight fans! I'm impressed by your incredible analysis and also endlessly thankful for all beautiful gifs, so I've decided to do... an investigation🙌

I'm sure this very last moment of next episode's preview seems the most thrilling:

But what if I'll tell you, based on all videos that we have, that this Friday's episode mainly won't be about August?..

First of all we will start here: another Day and Mhok morning, directed as always with love by P'Aof👇

They're happily laughing, making jokes and just shining from happiness.

And only after this cute scene we'll come to August. I recommend you to remember what P'Aof said about him: he isn't a bad guy, but he's a complicated character.

So yeah, we have Day facing maybe his closest friend from "previous" life while standing next to his boyfriend from current life. And by August and Day being shocked we can be sure that it's their first meeting since Day's life has changed forever.

As if it's not enough for just one episode we'll have another Day and August meeting! This time it's not a coincidence. August is happy, Day is confused (I think) and Mhok is full of jealousy (The Killers started playing in my head).

Now you can tell: "Wait, what? There's no such a scene in the preview!". You're right, I got these shots from a trailer and "Before Last Twilight". But look at this moment from the preview without honey lemon tea all over them:

- Are you going to eat at home for the rest of your life?

- What if I eat out and make a mess?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Mhok and Day are going to have a dinner date after meeting August twice already.

Now look at this moment from the preview, where Phojai is asking Mhok why he's wearing so much perfume (knowing that he's already seen Day with that too close friend August twice!)👇👇👇

My heart barely survived four episodes, but that's just a start! Damn you, P'Aof and all writers of this show! I love you so much!

I also need to mention their upcoming flower market date (another date omg they're spoiling us!), even though I can't tell you for sure whether it will happen after first time meeting August or at the end of the episode. Seems like it's a beautiful last part of the episode, but I don't have a proof.

The main idea of the next episode is blossoming feelings between Mhok and Day (with August being a catalyst, spices for the main course). Look how Mhok is catching with his eyes every Day's movement, every Day's smile!

And last but not least thing to mention.

This scene that's gonna break our hearts to heal it immediately, because this growing closeness of two who was closed to all the world is everything!

Thank you for finishing this long post! I really appreciate it and all reactions are very welcome! Also I already have some other thoughts on different moments and want to analyse upcoming previews using this bunch of screenshots. Spoiler: we'll see an interesting moment with that t-shirt Day bought with Mhok in the previous episode (intriguing, huh?).

This was my very first time writing and posting something like this, so we can agree Last Twilight makes people going crazy haha

#last twilight the series #jimmysea #last twilight #mhokday #jimmy jitaraphol #sea tawinan #morkday #mhok x day #mork x day #bl series

[dlanadhz]

Last Twilight Ending Reaction

As someone who can't see without a strong prescription, I really felt connected to Day's struggle. How his vision was shown is like mine but with that extra level of fuzzy. I can't see further than a palm's distance either. The longer the show went on, the more I noticed myself in the way Day did certain things - like leaning in way too close to see things and patting his hand around to find an item he knows is around there somewhere.

Obviously Day was worse than me. I put on my glasses every morning and go about my day. I don't need a caretaker. But without my glasses, we are so similar.

So I spent a good portion of the show wondering why the heck Day didn't get glasses for the time he was waiting on a potential surgery. They never explained that glasses wouldn't work for him, so it seems like a logical step to try.

Because of this, and because corrective eye surgery is actually so common, I walked into this show on day 1 fully ready to accept an ending where Day got his eye surgery and was able to see again.

We spent 12 episodes following Day's journey of learning to accept himself as he was, disability or not. He learned how to love his life, how to care more about the people around him, how to appreciate the things around him - not just what he could see. He gained a new understanding of who he was and what he needed to be happy.

Episode 12 has whole speeches about how going blind is the only reason Day knows how to be happy and what he truly wants out of life. This a beautiful message that we got throughout the whole series. He was loved when he was blind. He was loved when it seemed he would stay that way forever. He accepted himself and loved himself. And he was still loved when he got his sight back. He became a better person.

So to come online and see the absolute vitriol being thrown around like somehow this ending ruins the entire series, like somehow him getting a very realistic eye surgery to correct damage done in an accident erases all the character growth and the message of loving yourself, finding people who love you regardless of illness or disability, and appreciating the world around you....

It's really ruining the show for me. Day's surgery didn't do that. The fans are doing that.

Day getting his sight back does not erase his experience as a blind person. Just like a cast and pt doesn't erase your experience with a broken leg. Just like time and healing doesn't erase your experience with traumatic brain injuries. Just like getting a prosthetic doesn't erase the experience of losing a limb.

Like, damn. Someone get me some eye surgery pronto. It still won't change the last 27 years of my life.

And to suggest that bad things should happen to the director for such a choice is a really terrible thing to do.

When I saw Day looking at Mhok while they knelt by Rung's grave, I felt overwhelmed with emotion, because Day has been wanting to see clearly for so long and here he was, staring lovingly at his boyfriend - the boyfriend who chose to be with him despite everything. I thought it was beautiful.

And all these haters are really making it hard to even search for gifs. I wanted to roll around in the joy and emotion of the episode, but there are too many people treating it like a god damned funeral protest.

#Last Twilight #last twilight the series #spoilers #gmmtv #like if you're gonna be mad be mad that we never dove into Mhok's trauma #be mad that the mom got a blanket forgiveness for her treatment of everyone while Mhok had to try and prove himself #Be mad that Mhok's trauma was passed off as feeling pity and was used against him 3 years later #heck be mad at the implication that fatherhood makes a man suddenly need glasses if you really wanna be mad about eyesight #but being mad about the eye surgery is the lowest hanging fruit

[ephemerlskies]

The Stars as They Appear Above Us | pjm

⇢ pairing: jimin x reader

[other members: hoseok, taehyung]

⇢ genre: one-shot, angst, fluff, heartbreak au, college au, strangers to lovers au

⇢ rating: pg-13

⇢ word count: 19.6k

⇢ warnings: explicit language, mentions of death, mentions of homophobia, themes of grief, themes of depression/anxiety, alcohol consumption, codependency, many emotional ramblings and existential crises.

⇢ summary: misery loves company. against better judgment, yours sought out Jimin's. from one chance encounter to another, the question of whether your heart could brave the wreckage of loss and still retain the capacity to love again drew closer and closer to finding an answer.

alternatively

“Do you think the stars will remember us?"

inspiration: francis forever by mitski and mikrokosmos by bts

a/n: for my lovely readers. if you have yet to find love in yourself, i hope one day you do. i hope you can rejoice in the beauty and splendor of being you.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

"I think I'm falling out of love with you."

You wished what he said felt sharp where it struck your chest. That it would puncture the skin, clean and precise, leaving behind a sure but manageable ache.

No, this was dull.

This forced its way through flesh and met the bone with an unforgiving rage. A cruel promise that no matter how this wound healed, the scar would always remind the world of just how true his sentiment was.

"Wh-" Taehyung's hand found yours. You were tempted to withdraw, knowing comfort would only remind you of the very pain he'd inflicted. "What..."

You stopped yourself from asking how. You weren't sure you wanted to harbor the reason as to why you stopped being lovable to him. You weren't sure, because you couldn't defend yourself, his mind made up as sure as your heart broke. There was no evidence, no witness, no judge. Nothing, but the rawness of giving yourself entirely to him. Loving him, even when the world reminded you of just how fragile and damning of an act it was. You placed your heart in his hands without knowing it was a trial, without knowing it could end in a death sentence.

"I'm sorry..." As if it could resolve anything, he squeezed your hand. Maybe to remind you to breathe, the way he always had. Maybe to ease his own heart, pulsing hard enough to give life to another body.

There was a beat of heavy silence. A moment to stall, collect every bit of strength, and look into his eyes before you became a supporting character in his story.

"That's all?"

"What?" Surprise seized his eyes.

"Is that all you have to say to me?"

Your throat was tight; it didn't offer much, but it gave what was necessary. More importantly, it withheld what was too vulnerable to reveal.

Because he had everything else that was supposed to be yours. Your soul, your purpose, and worst of all your love. But not your pain, that was something you writhed with, the way a storm-front meets land. It would devastate all the beauty you created, how else to prove your power over something but by destroying it completely? This anguish, this was yours.

"Come on, ___. Don't be this way." Making demands of you after he plunged his bloodied hands into your chest, only to give back what he'd rejected, he knew his power.

"Don't be what way, Tae?" The heat in your face flared, you swore it lit something within you. "You want me to scream at you? You want me on my knees pleading? I'm not going to give you anything else, Tae. Not after I've spent three years giving you everything just to make you happy. I can't. I... I have nothing left. You win."

"___, it's not about winning. You think I feel so fucking great about doing this? I wanted to deny it, shit, I have been denying it because it's you, ___." The way he laughed out spite like an illness, you knew what was about to come. "You know what I think of you. You're the one I fought for. You know how much I care about you, how much of your dreams are no different than my own. I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. You amaze me and inspire me-"

"But not enough to be loved by you." It humored you how these praises fell from his lips. There was no way to explain how he can recite such intimate musings about your character one minute, then reject it all in another.

"___..." You wished he would stop saying your name. Taehyung called to you with too much love to keep your denial at bay. It hurt to be held by him now, even if it was just the way his voice held your name. "Please, let me explain."

"I was waiting for you to say that." You knew you were being cruel, but both you and Taehyung understood it wasn't entirely undeserved.

"I just feel like the only thing keeping us together is familiarity, like being together is a habit not a choice."

He paused, most likely with the hopes you would miraculously agree, that some sort of forgiveness would be surrendered. It was never that easy, though, not when it came to you and him.

"I feel like I'm standing still, and you're moving forward... or the other way around. But either way, I feel this distance that I don't know how to close." You did not have to look at him to know there were tears pooling in his eyes. "___, most of the time when we're together, I feel as though it wouldn't make a difference if I were there or not."

If it was neglect he was accusing you of, your tongue felt a sting to remind him all the late nights you two spent over how he kept the rest of his life so separate. How little words were exchanged over dinner when recounting your days apart. The number of opened and unanswered texts that sit in the graveyard of your messages.

"I'm not saying I am perfect either, I know I'm contributing to this emptiness in our relationship. I don't think I understand you, and it hurts to admit that I fall so short as your partner." Of course, he knew what you were thinking. He knew exactly how to respond to the words that were never kind enough to bring to life. "I just... we need to be honest with ourselves. We need to be honest about if we really understand what we need in life. If we know for sure that it's each other."

"Well, I guess there is a difference between us."

He was cautious, keen of your tendency to be quick witted before you could be transparent. Taehyung's eyes trailed along the outline of your body in preparation to defend himself.

"Even though I feel distance and there are issues between us and our relationship isn't always perfect, I would never give up on you." It was brutal, the way you spoke felt like inhaling fire, but at least you weren't the only one burned.

"It's not always as simple as love. Love isn't the only thing that keeps a relationship alive. How can we grow as a couple when you never let me get close enough to try?"

Your eyes seared. He found the wound. He knew exactly where to apply pressure.

"I didn't know trying was such a burden for you." Frankly, you found it difficult to locate what exactly he meant by this, but your heart hurt all the same. "Just so you know... falling out of love will be much harder for me."

Taehyung wondered how you could admit love as though it were a sin, how he had become the one who assigned punishment, how this hadn't stopped him from feeling the need to ask for forgiveness. And still you were able to lift yourself from where you sat, and walk away.

"___, I'm scared." It was true, you felt what one could only describe as desperation pooling in his words.

"Me too." Admitting this was far more crucifying than admitting your heart would always beat for someone who had forgotten how to love you back.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

It was difficult to look in the mirror. The person staring back looked so much like the person he loved. But that wasn't you anymore. The person in the mirror was the ghost. What worried you even more was the idea of someone finding out what a lie this was. This body of yours, each piece stacked so neatly, as though you could be anything more than shards of loneliness that cut with each step you took. As though you didn't live your life checking the ground that follows you, ensuring fragments of your soul were not being left behind.

There was no rule book on how to remain whole after a heartbreak. How to fill the nights with warmth and the mornings with meaning.

Taehyung would always remind you to lock the door, but it never felt so simple.

Lock the door, angel, don't forget!

Lock the door, I love that you forget. I love being the one to remind you.

Lock the door, and never stop forgetting. Never stop letting me remind you.

You stared at the doorknob until it started to feel like a broken promise, and it delivered your eyes a new kind of pain. One that couldn't render tears, because you were all cried out. Maybe if you forgot this time, he would come running to remind you once again. The way he always did. You sighed then winced. The click of the lock sent a shooting pain in your ear.

I'm falling out of love with you.

This confession began to feel more like an accusation. Your mind tucked his words deep. It never failed to rear its head right before you loosened your fist or a smile took hold of you, right before you almost let your body belong in the world with ease.

"Excuse me, you're next." A voice broke through your daze.

This has been happening frequently. One moment, you're gripping the doorknob. Another, you find yourself in a cafe, or a grocery store, or a parking lot of a grocery store. Your body moved through the world as a chore, abusing the skill of muscle memory to no end. You stopped caring where it took you, because you knew it wouldn't be with him.

"Sorry..." Your voice dragged along your tongue like a limbless creature. "I'm sorry you go ahead."

If you hadn't been zoning in on a specifically worn floor tile, you would have noticed the person behind you. Their eyes, thick with concern, studied you and politely yet firmly ignored the offer to pass you in line.

"You can go, I don't know-"

"Let me buy you your drink." He sounded like rain falling against the world. Inviting, comforting, and timid, asking permission in the gentle way raindrops cling to the openness of a window. It was momentary, the idea of sneaking through the back door to let him fall against your skin.

"No." You were quick to respond. Your heart ached you into a habit of rejecting kindness when you knew you needed it most. "No, you don't have to."

You didn't feel his body brush past you. Could he have somehow known as well, you needed a small kindness?

"Would it be too cliché of me to say I know I don't have to?" He said.

"Yes, and it would be even worse if you also said 'I know I don't have to, I want to.'" Your eyes finally peeled away from that jagged tile, and met his.

There was a smile woven into the way his voice sounded. It struck wonder in you, how he could vocalize something as invisible as joy. Within seconds, he made the intangible into something physical, something you could hold onto. Something a little less fleeting than the feeling itself.

"I'm Jimin. And I swear I'm like... super cool and unique so I won't say that." His hand, extended out to you, looked so soft. Almost as though if you dared to touch it, you would damage something. The tenderness adorning his body only sought to exemplify the sharpness of your own.

But, your desire to quell an awkward handshake rejection triumphed over your fear of destroying a purity you could not find in yourself. And you were right, his hand stretched so gently around yours. You swore it could have melted if you held on too long.

"___. And I swear I'm not always this cynical." It was a half-lie, but today a doorknob made you cry, so you had to defend yourself in some way.

"I think it's kinda charming." He laughed at himself, "I mean, not only did you ignore me in line, but you also managed to call me cliché before I even had the chance to be cliché."

"Actually, I think I was just doing you a favor. Giving you another chance to say something more original." This was the first time you let yourself smile without seeking repentance. Your joy was not a crime with this stranger.

"Mm... well, let me think." You could see in his eyes, he was piecing the unlikely together. "You want a cappuccino with a little bit of brown sugar?"

"How are you so sure of yourself?" Your brows furrowed, a hint of intrigue in your voice guiding him like a light.

"Well, you said you didn't know what you wanted yet, but I haven't seen you look at the menu once. Which tells me you probably do know what you're going to order, you just couldn't for some reason." He paused, and by now you knew it was to observe and conclude an honesty you buried somewhere no one cared to upend. "Judging by the slight dark circles under your eyes, and the fact that you yawned about three times during this conversation, you haven't had your daily dose. And in more ways than one, you seem tired."

You felt your body giving in. He was right, you were tired. So, very tired.

"That doesn't explain the brown sugar part." Speaking to him was easy. You wondered if he felt the same way.

"You just seem like someone who appreciates something sweet in life." Everything he said felt like a riddle, like there was an answer hidden in the crooks of his words.

"Jimin, you make quite the first impression. Are you always this invasive upon first meeting people?"

"Honestly? Yes, but specifically because I've seen you here quite a bit and I've become somewhat acquainted with you." Your head slanted and an urgency fell over Jimin, "I mean... in my head. You're around here a lot, and I've come to expect to see you. Kinda like how you expect to see the same buildings outside your window or whatever."

"I've never been compared to a building before. I'm flattered. It's nice to finally meet you." When he smiled, it offered more than you once thought capable of accepting. There was a dynamic you caught onto far before he did. Neither of you knew each other, however that only seemed to beckon both of your willingness to unravel the best parts of yourself, and hope to god it was as real and as good as it felt.

"Well, are you going to buy me a drink or not?" Jimin was quick to step towards the register.

It was easy to discern you were not alone under siege of his charm. The way he moved through the world, as though it was his to arrange and rearrange. How common it must be for him to acquire small talk and fond goodbyes like collector's items, how many people he must leave wanting more from him. Some quiet part of you ached to know where you belonged in his world, or rather if you belonged at all.

"What do you do? What's your thing?" His elbows rested on the counter with familiarity.

"I'm an artist. Painting, mostly. But I appreciate charcoal more these days. And, I- why are you looking at me like that?" You asked, couldn't help yourself. The way his eyes bore an opening into you was hard to ignore.

"Nothing, just kinda had a feeling you were some sort of artist. The paint stains on your jeans gave it away, if I'm being honest. I'm sure you create beautiful things, ___." It was so easy to let your eyes linger, even when his brightness overtook your vision and especially when he smiled.

"You don't know that. You've never seen my work." Your palm cupped your chin, and you put your fingers to good use, gating the smile that couldn't be subdued.

"Don't have to, you don't seem dense or shallow enough to make bad art."

This conversation uplifted in you something so close to hope. Enough so that when he paved the way to an open table, you followed him like it was a reflex.

"You're... presumptuous." Your will began to subside. The chance of this door you put up to the world remaining felt frayed. He'd find a way to open it. Perhaps he'd already found one.

"Aren't you going to ask me what I do?" His words were playful, enticing you into a game that seemed to have no real winners or losers, just a chance to participate.

"What do you do, Jimin." Your tone indicated you were in fact amused by his prodding. That you were more than willing to participate.

"I'm a writer. Mostly poetry, maybe I'll start a manuscript some day. But I'm not sure I'm cut out for something like that, you know?"

It was after he said that that you noticed a delicate dim in the lightness his voice carried.

"Honestly? I don't know, why wouldn't you be?"

Jimin hadn't been able to recall this budding hesitation when it came to talking with strangers. Usually, people would agree tentatively and construct a weak sincerity in response to him talking of his artistic abilities, or lack thereof. You however, inquired less about what he said and more on why he said it. In other words, people tend to deny consideration where it was inconvenient, but not you.

"I just- it's harder to create a story, and characters. I worry the world would look wrong the way I portray it. That it might give something away about myself I'd rather not reveal..." His neck, sheltered by his palm, grew warm. This feeling with you had felt like a forgotten memory, all the more exciting. He found that more than anything, he wanted to reunite with it.

"Ah, well. I don't know, Jimin. Within the little time I've known you, you've already read me pretty accurately. I really hate admitting that, but it's true." That smile, his eyes waning like two crescent moons, felt like encouragement. "You see people, things that are never displayed through physical indications. You voice the things people wish they saw in themselves so plainly, as if you could see it written on their skin. I think a story would come to life if you wrote it."

"That's..." As a writer, it was rare for words to be at a distance to Jimin, and yet. "You're... so..."

"Don't" Your head shook. "You don't have to. It wasn't a compliment, just an observation. Nothing, really."

"I'm not sure what you are, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to find out."

"If you found out, I'm not sure you'd get much of anything. Maybe a little regret and an unnecessary amount of art history knowledge."

You wanted this to stop, to retract your hand, only an inch from where he rested his on the table. You wanted to leave, to lock the door, to keep yourself tucked away where it was lonely, but safe.

And when his hand grazed the top of yours, you did none of those things. It was tedious to define safety when your skin knew a visceral hunger that your heart did not. You let yourself lean into this unrefined craving, and perhaps be known by Jimin.

"Wouldn't know unless I tried." His smile meant a number of things, but this time it resembled a challenge.

Because the last time someone tried, it proved to be just that. A challenge.

Though you met so recently, he'd already established a clear admiration that extended far beyond reason. His eyes gave way to vision only to find beauty. His senses were predisposed to seeking goodness. Even more impressive, he was someone who could bring it out in unexpected places.

But that was the exact reason why Jimin terrified you. Because what if there was nothing in you, no goodness that he could withdraw?

He was watching you, most likely on a hunt for something. His eyes were determined yet tender as they searched for answers in yours.

"Well, thank you, for the drink." Timing was generous today, granting an escape from the space he opened up for you in this moment. "I should get going, it's my first day back in university."

"Ah, where do you attend?" Whatever attempts he made to mask his disappointment were futile, and all too obvious.

"University of Crane River." As you dragged yourself back into a state of reality, it distracted you from his smile, though you wished it hadn't.

It would be nice, you mused, to get one last look.

"Well, I hope your days get better." Jimin held his breath, watching you depart felt no different to him than folding the corner of the page right before the ending. "Oh and ___!"

You turned back, half expecting him to remind you to lock the door, then remembering it would never be that. Still, what he said next wasn't entirely disappointing, but completely disarming.

"See you at school."

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Decisions were hardly decisions at all to you. You never had to wait until choosing became necessary; your mind was always as sure as an anchor would sink, fate locked into you like a companion.

That was until you noticed the pen markings, impulsive and needful, under the sleeve of your cup. You let your finger glide over the numbers. An irrational attempt to see if they'd disappear. It made no sense, but life after Taehyung was nothing if not nonsensical.

You lingered at doors, waiting for someone to impossibly fill a role originated by the love of your life. You waded through crowds as if it would dispel the loneliness that weeps in you like a ghost. You lived in memories to resurrect something rotting and overdue for a burial. You ran a finger across those numbers knowing it was a fruitless remedy to erase the meaning they carved into a disposable cup.

As the bus carried you closer to the school, music flowed from your headphones. Though no amount of noise could drown the echo of Jimin's voice. His was a melody that learned how to swim.

You tried to keep your thoughts in order by mentally planning your academic day, busying yourself in ways that proved successful in the past. It seemed that your thoughts developed a sense to maneuver around denial, to sink itself into what you weren't aware you needed. When it came to Jimin, at least, you were just the shell of someone trying to hold on to what it felt like to be in his presence.

Despite how true all of these feelings, these untamed thoughts were, you refused to allow them to move you. The idea of seeing him again filled you with fear and eagerness all at once. Again, the decision to hide or to unfold yourself was not within reach. It felt like something that was less of a decision, more so in the hands of chance.

However, he was a writer, you a painter. The chance of sharing a class or even a building with him was slim to none. This soothed you less than you hoped, but then again, safety for you always reserved the remnants of disappointment.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

"___!" Before you had to turn, you knew exactly who wielded such a voice that reached every corner of a room.

"Hobi, I thought once we entered college you'd become a little more... I don't know... calm?" That was the truest word you could use that brushed past being an insult to him.

"Why would I be?" Hoseok's arm nestled along your shoulders, "Maybe you need to be less calm."

"Okay, whatever you say." Both of you avoided asking the compulsory 'How are you' and this was an unrehearsed consideration composed by Hoseok's thankless demeanor. He was a loud, robust dancer with a heart of gold, but no less observant than you. He knew not to ask, not to resurface the pain just below the skin, waiting to erupt.

"What's your schedule looking like?" He asked.

"Mmm." You searched through your bag to pull it out.

"You know they have these online, you don't need to print them out, nerd." This fond judgment didn't stop him from taking the paper from your hands.

"Any classes together?" You asked, eyes static on the pen markings etched along your cup while his was scanning your schedule.

"Nope... looks like we're just gonna have to spend extra time together outside of class." His smile lured one out from you too, the same way the sun channeled light where the world needed it most.

And then, like clockwork, that cruel mantra sauntered into the front of your mind again.

I think I'm falling out of love with you.

"Mm..." In times like this, expressing your care for someone felt like trudging through a storm. It was easier to still, to let the storm rage around you. But you loved Hoseok, maybe just as deeply as you could love Taehyung. There was just too much pain to be soft the way Hoseok was soft. Admiration and guilt forged into one heavy burden piling on your shoulders.

You hoped he knew this. You hoped the vacancy of words never translated into an emptiness he could detect. You hoped one day, you'd be able to out-love him, the way he deserved.

"___, I promise everything's going to be okay." How could you love someone like him enough? Someone who would demand a storm to rest just so you could finally move forward.

"I really want to believe you." The tears gathering in your eyes were infectious, spreading across bodies. Hoseok felt your despair prick at his own eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't understand it either, ___. I really hate him for this." He spoke through strained whispers.

Before your eyes could corrode into water slipping down your cheek, his lips pressed into your forehead. It was something he'd been doing since you were barely able to reach the top shelf. He knew it wouldn't mend the pain, but it would give you enough love to last the day. And tomorrow, he'd be there to replenish. He was the 'always' you knew you could trust.

"I love you, Hoseok. Go to class, though. You're gonna be late."

"Shit, I'll see you soon! Text me after class!" He called back, already ten or so feet from you.

Hoseok loved and cared with every part of him, but even those qualities hadn't overruled his forgetfulness. Luckily, he always had you as a second conscious.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

There it was again. The memory of that night itching against your skin. It always began so faintly, but you knew by now what was about to follow. You knew ignoring a heart breaking would only aggress it more.

Under the guise of needing to use the restroom, you excused yourself from class. Though, you required more than a simple escape from the small art room that held you captive. The air felt stretched thin indoors, which is how you ended up wandering into a forested area of campus. Your legs demanded solitude, and apparently, running water.

Crane River, the sign read with resistance. Time chipped the paint and rusted the metal.

You peered over the edge of the bridge, water rushing against the riverbed. Somehow, your body responded to this view with a feeling you couldn't assign a name to. You knew though, it reminded you of being left behind.

What good are my lungs for if they stop working every time I'm upset? You criticized yourself unfairly between deep, unfulfilling gasps. It seemed that this was all you could give to yourself. How sad this must appear, a body rejected by the soul that calls it home.

It was true, nonetheless. You hated being you, feeling the things you felt. Pathetically clinging to the rail of a bridge, pleading with water to idle so you could keep pace. If this was how the rest of your life would be, you weren't sure how long you'd be able to hold on.

You closed your eyes, reeling in the moment this morning when you felt your heart beating in the same rhythm as the world, as him. It should have been clear to you how inevitable this would be. You, reaching into your bag to retrieve what should have been trash, dialing the numbers only to hover your thumb over the 'call' icon.

The sound of footsteps interrupted your courage and turned your phone screen back to black. This whole time, your body took in each breath manually. Innate functions such as breathing or blinking had become tiresome. So, when your focus shifted to the presence of another person, your breathing stopped altogether.

"Hey," His melody proceeded. "You."

"Of course... you." Fate had reintroduced itself to you, joined by regret.

"I know I got here after you, but, to be fair, I've been coming here since last year so... This time you're impeding on me." It wasn't bragging in the technical sense, but there was an underlying celebration in his voice.

You were almost too suffocated to do witty with him. Almost.

"Yeah, just waiting for you to come save me again." Your eyes remained where they were before he arrived.

"Is that it?" Jimin's voice grew in volume, even though he spoke softly. The edge of his body now seated in your peripheral. "Save you?"

"Mhm, I was just thinking if only someone would come and ruin my peace and quiet." He laughed, somehow privy to the honest relief obscured under the layers of sarcasm.

You gambled with bravery, craning your head to finally face his. He wasted no time returning the favor. For a brief moment, you were just a person catching the light of another's eyes. You could breathe, blink, and appreciate how normal could feel so thrilling with him.

Jimin's smile eroded the longer you held his gaze; it had you already pleading to earn his forgiveness.

"You were crying?" His eyebrows formed concern so beautifully.

"No... not really." You attempted to lie, but your eyes betrayed honesty to Jimin's.

"It's okay. We don't have to talk about it. I mean, we just met so..." Jimin let his admiration run unsupervised, indulging in how this moment stretched beyond time. "It's just... I hate the idea of you crying all alone."

"Why?" Regret finally broke through the adrenaline, more so when he said things like that. The desire to retreat came rushing, however you couldn't relinquish the victory of looking away first. "You don't even know me."

"Do I need to?"

Why had it sounded like a command?

"I guess not. But" Your throat nearly denied you sound. "I don't understand what you're getting from this."

"Jesus, ___." It would have felt like scrutiny if not for the protective armor of his laugh. "It doesn't cost me anything to be kind to you, but it seems to cost you quite a bit to reject it."

"I-" Why bother arguing with him? "It's hard."

"I know." You could have meant anything, but Jimin, overfamiliar with pain in his own ways, didn't have to know in order to know. "I'm sorry. Whatever is hurting you so much, I hope it subsides enough to let you live a little easier."

"Just a breakup. Nothing special, nothing new."

"Still, it sounds pretty rough. I'm sorry, ___. How long were you two together?"

"Three and a half years." Your exhaustion felt so justified after voicing how long it's been.

"Damn, it makes sense why this is so horrible. I mean we're still pretty young. Three years is a lot if you think about it."

"True. It was just really..." You watched as his eyes drifted comfortably along your face. Even if you wanted to pull back, it felt wrong to take that away from him. "Unexpected."

"You love him?" Jimin's inquisitiveness was partially selfish, but mostly born of genuine curiosity and care.

"Trying not to." The warmth collecting at your cheeks confessed some twisted form of shame around this.

"I get it. It's very justified to take your time with it you know? Don’t be hard on yourself." Jimin paused but even that was carried out with certainty. "He sounds lucky to have someone who could love him this much. Not sure if this is necessarily helpful in getting over him but, I think it is beautiful to love someone even if they aren't there to experience it."

You couldn't understand how he gave shape to your feelings with such kindness.

"Thank you, Jimin." Gratitude was a costly emotion to express, a tear or two expended no matter the circumstances. "You're sweet. I'm not sure uh... not sure I deserve this."

You smiled at that last confession, thinking it would lighten the weight of what was said between you two, perhaps distract you and him from the tears. But it soon felt like a mistake upon noticing it might've struck a chord with Jimin.

"Why wouldn't you?" This was not rhetorical in the way you wished it was. He asked, expecting you to answer, to voice the shame lodged into your body like a dagger. "Why wouldn't you deserve it?"

"I'm not..." You reached for answers that were not there. "I don't know. All I know is whenever people try to comfort me about this I feel so guilty. And like I can't give it back? I'm tired of needing so much from others. I just want to be good. Easier to love."

"For now, it's not your job to give back." How did his body extend in a way that reached conclusions never so accessible to you? “You do not have to be good to be easy to love. Someone would be lucky to love you.”

You watched the world regress, intricacies of this universe conflating into a singular truth. This man crafted simplicity from the chaos. You felt greedy, your heels already primed to run after him, to chase this world he'd created that made your movements fluid, rushing with no traction like water.

It must be a writer thing, you theorized.

By now, your arm had been pressed against his as you both leaned against the rail, overlooking the water. It was hard to release the notion that this might've been trespassing. Closeness, a risk that ended in punishment the last time you took it.

"Jimin?"

"Hm?" Jimin's wordless response felt assuring of what you were about to say, even before you knew yourself.

Speak, he seemed to say, bring any noise to your voice that does not know loss, does not mourn.

"How do you always know what to say?" Everything about you felt dangerously undisciplined. You'd been unraveling, completely negligent to how easy it had been to breathe in and out this whole time.

"To be honest, you don't make it the easiest." His careful nudge against your arm promised compassion without the words. "But, I like you. I like the way you see the world."

"You too. I like how you see things too." Rather, you liked how he saw you, how it never felt like a judgment. It was warm where your bodies made contact, heightened how frigid and starved the rest of you had been.

Somewhere, there was a world where you could find solace in togetherness; the borders of your body and his body ebbing from the way you held each other. Imagining this left a bitter taste in your mouth. Not because it seemed wrong, but because it felt so unattainable. It hurt to hope, to open your heart enough that it might discover another breaking point.

"I, um, gotta get to class." A sigh nearly slipped from you when he pulled away. "It was lovely seeing you, ___."

Jimin settled his hand right between your shoulder blades. His thumb tracing out a pattern only he could see. A parting gift, you assumed, a piece of him he felt necessary to leave with you. In one swift motion, you were reminded of how sentimentality was quick to filter your memories.

The way he touched you, so unsparingly, it must have meant there was more of him for the taking. And from where you stood now, looking down at the river, it lacked its usual hurriedness; almost as if it had stilled completely.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

"Hobi?"

"What's up?" He responded, stretching his hamstrings.

"Nevermind." This wasn't enough to curb his curiosity. You knew that all too well.

"___..." He expressed an expectation by calling your name, giving you another chance before he proceeded to more drastic measures. "What's on that little mind of yours?"

"Just..." A nervous tick flared, your fingers finding friction against each other to ease it. "How can you tell if you're a good person?"

"What are you an idiot? I love you. That’s how. You're kind and funny and intelligent and creative and fair-minded and all that good stuff." The question was obvious to Hoseok, so much so that he carried on loosening his muscles for dance practice.

You always sat in on his practices when possible, finding comfort in watching Hoseok move so freely, so determined. It impressed you how he made passion into a precision. Something so prone to growing rampantly, like a wildfire, restrained through the way he controlled his body movements. It was like he wielded passion the way a god would.

"I just don't get why though." You leaned against the mirror, exasperated by the vagueness of it all.

"God, Taehyung really did a number on you. Only someone so self-involved and immature and straight up stupid could not love someone like you." This began to swallow you in a well acquainted guilt where gratefulness was supposed to be, like you were tricking him into praising you. His kindness sat in your stomach like rotting food.

"Hobi..." You scolded despite the fact that he had done nothing to warrant it.

"Okay, you're right, let's not get into that now." Hoseok straightened himself, reoccupying where he stood so tall. Arms outstretched, ready to consume the world like prey.

It's what he always looked like when he was about to dance.

"Places!" The instructor’s voice filled the silence. Not long after, music took its place.

Right as everyone settled into position, the door swung open. A panicked series of footsteps and a haphazard toss of what sounded like a bag followed. Your focus busied itself with sketching because warmups we're not particularly engaging for you to watch.

"Oh, good afternoon!" The instructor was startled, but still maintained the patience to be welcoming. "Glad you could join us. Please, find a spot and begin warming up."

Their shoes shuffled along the practice room, a humble gratitude expressed by the swiftness in which they obliged.

"Hey, Hoseok!" Your brows pulled together when they spoke.

It couldn't have been.

"Jimin, what's up!" Your eyes tore from your sketch pad only to find Hoseok exchanging an informal handshake with none other than Jimin. It surprised you less that Hoseok had already been acquainted, being that socializing was a necessity no different than air to him.

Is this a joke? You questioned the mercilessness of the world. The more you saw him, the harder it was to shed the fondness pulling at the seams of your willpower.

It took a mere two seconds for Jimin to recognize the only person sitting among the piles of bags and discarded sweatshirts. It took much longer to release from him the mix of intrigue and delight that held his gaze captive on you.

He mouthed your name, partnered it with a coy nod before cutting his attention back to the lesson. The downturn of your eyes only accentuated the smile you were trying to dilute.

You selected your next move carefully, similar to how one would play a game of chess. A modest nod pawned back to him, timed perfectly to when you secured his attention again. He grinned without the boldness to look directly at you. Then, a flicker of hope that this meant a small victory lulled your nerves to rest.

You wondered if these uncanny collisions with him would become a routine. This man collecting moments of your life, all to give you a motive to make them worth something. And you realized then there was this feeling posed where you couldn't quite reach. Perhaps it was eagerness, a moment teeming with potential.

Throughout the practice, parceling your attention to anything but Jimin was hard. Whenever he had returned to you through gazes, your eyes retreated to the wall or your sketchbook.

But you pocketed every chance you could to take him in. Jimin was the only person that made you consider more carefully who the best dancer you could name was. Hoseok was still your favorite, of course, but any attempts to insist that Jimin couldn't move just as fluently in this art was denial at its weakest.

Every arch and extension he wielded as though his body was designed to move only to melodies. His arms were loyal to the choreography, but there was always a glint of reinvention embodied by his movements. Where Hoseok sharpened himself like a blade to the music, Jimin softened himself, the way a tree allowed winds to tangle through the leaves. It was full of a delicate generosity, an openness. He must earn applause not only for admiration, rather gratitude for being able to witness him dance.

Jimin was beautiful.

When the practice ended, you felt an urgency to restrain every feeling you encountered while watching Jimin. Quickly, you buried your belongings into your bag so as to not invite him over with your idling.

"I'm so tired." Hoseok elongated his speech, making it clear that even talking was too strenuous. The rest of his body surrendered to the fatigue building in his muscles. "Carry me home?"

"You know I can't but you did great today."

"Mmm... Thanks ___." You laughed softly. Tired Hoseok was hardly distinguishable from drunk Hoseok.

And there he was. Hair worn in from a one hour practice, somehow draped gracefully along his forehead, sweat-soaked shirt carving out his chest a little too tastefully. If you could've brought yourself to look away, you would have.

It was easy to ignore how the students' exhaustion translated as a potent thickness in the air, even how Hoseok's sweat invaded your skin where he leaned his head. It seemed everything that would normally bother you had reduced into unintelligible noise. There was no room for doubt. The answer always seemed to be him.

Before you were able to plot an escape, Jimin made his way over to you, mouth slightly hung and chest rising and falling with intention to circulate energy back into himself.

"Are you following me?" His attention wouldn't budge from you, even with a half-conscious man leaning on your shoulder.

"What was it? Oh right 'I was here first... you're impeding on me'. Is that how you said it?" You laced smugness into your voice like a drug, all the more intoxicating to Jimin.

"You're funny, you know that?" He'd squatted down to your level, now unable to ignore the intimacy passing through the bodies you and your best friend. Jimin could deduce he wasn't your boyfriend, being that you were currently heartbroken and too considerate to reduce someone into a rebound. However, his stomach fell when he saw you exchange a closeness he hadn't gained yet.

He was never one to get jealous, especially over someone that owed no loyalty to him. Even so, it was hard to not cross that bridge with you.

"This is Hoseok, but it seems you know him already." You jerked your shoulder to wake him, only for his head to limply drop back onto you. "We've been friends since high school."

"Ah, how sweet. Small world." You gathered that your response soothed him in some way. Likely because you were expectant of that reaction. Another moment stashed in your favor. "We met last year in an intermediate dance class."

"Yeah Jimin's pretty cool. I feel like we taught each other so much last year." Hoseok chimed in.

"Yeah, you were really great." You hoped this comment sounded casual, uncommitted. But from the way your heart nearly broke through bone, you knew it didn't. Jimin snuck you a smile. It looked selective, a gesture to deepen the feelings making waves in the air.

"How do you and ___ know each other?" Hoseok's question was innocent enough, not without making it clear he wanted details. Excruciatingly specific details.

"We met at a cafe. They were dawdling in line so I practically had to force them to let me buy their drink if I wanted to get mine." A grin strapped onto his lips. He aimed it at you in such a rehearsed manner. "And we just talked for a bit."

"Ah, ___, why didn't you tell me about this?" Whatever his tone had suggested, you feigned ignorance to it, and it had Hoseok and Jimin toppling over in anticipation. You were now compelled to choose what you said wisely, decisively. You kept flitting your eyes between the other two, hoping they would land at some point.

"I-" You pressed your lips tight. "It must've slipped my mind."

Hoseok garnered some energy, picking through the scarcity of words to unveil the things you and Jimin wanted each other to know without giving sound to them.

"Yeah, the bridge must have slipped your mind too, huh?" Jimin cleared the view of his forehead, hand seeking refuge in the lovely field of his hair. Your face stiffened to bury the smile threatening your lips.

"Must have."

"Bridge? What bridge?" Hoseok traded off between you and Jimin, neither of you could bring yourselves to break away from this standoff. "There was a bridge?"

"There was a bridge, indeed." He flirted with admittance, waiting for you to comply. Waiting to see how easily you'd confess to those coveted moments being known to the world, and all the more real because of it.

"Jimin, how long have you been a dancer?" You figured deflection had been your only option. Jimin tucked his head down, a smile most likely being shed in this position.

"Since I was about ten. I started in ballet, but slowly worked my way around to contemporary and hip-hop." He responded when he lifted his head back to you and Hoseok.

"You know, that's what I love about your dancing. You're so versatile." When it came to dance, Hoseok's seal of approval was rare. You'd only witnessed its appearance twice in your time knowing him.

The first was when your friendship was still new, the borders of your closeness still a bit unrefined. He was explaining how his dance teacher had been the one to inspire him to pursue it professionally. You took note of how his eyes blazed, honored to be caught in the fire. The second had a much more bitter tinge to it. A competition, one you couldn't even remember the name of, ended with Hoseok's peculiar silence as he turned the bronze medal over and over in his hand. You were giving him a ride home when he admitted defeat to the one that earned the gold, accompanied with a vow that someday he'd be the dancer others would have to overcome. The flame in his eyes was fed such fierce resolve, and still hungered for more.

"Thank you." Jimin was nothing if not cognizant. His eyes nearly pressed close from how wide he smiled. "You really inspire me, honestly."

You were pleasantly surprised how quick they took to talking, sinking into the background as they carried into conversation that permitted your silence, courtesy of your lack of dance knowledge.

Half of you tried to keep up with what they were saying, a nod here and there to feign engagement with the mess of dance terms. The other half tormented with an insatiable need to figure out Jimin. With every interaction, he unfolded more of him, meaning there would always be something to keep your heels from touching the ground. You hoped to find a crack, any break that would volunteer some hint of what else he had in store. And you also hoped you wouldn’t, setting aside agency over what excited you; the unknown nature of whatever Jimin meant to you delivered a complicated position for you to fill.

You resented yourself for what had always been around the corner from excitement: remembrance.

A sudden but familiar mourning crashed into you like a bird falling mid-flight. There was one person you had known so well. Someone that nullified any need to guess. The knowing of a person, of the private moments only to be shared through intimacy, of hearts precisely sure where to love someone, it could cast loneliness into a graveyard. This emptiness you weathered felt so full. It resurrected that loneliness in you, your body one long hall for it to haunt.

Two years ago

“I can't believe you convinced me to do this! This is so stupid!” Your pleas fell short, not even reaching his ears. The waves had drowned words. You worried that you were next. “What if we die?”

The cliff overlooked the Pacific. The very edge of land, a world you knew coming to a stop, giving way to water. It wasn't very high up, admittedly, an altitude that barely reached fifty feet hadn't deserved so much fear. That didn’t stop your pulse from turning into an unruly mess of panic. You turned to him, unable to meet his smile with one of your own. Taehyung ran his thumb over your brow, tense from worry. It only made him smile harder and fall in love with you more. 

“I’d never let anything bad happen to you, ___!” Taehyung’s arm, as though it was a device to locate your fear, warmed the part of you he had sheltered. “Trust me, okay? If you get scared, squeeze my hand. And when I squeeze back, It means you’re safe. it means…”

He paused, pressing his lips against yours, slow and intrepid, “I love you.” 

It was the first time he said it. Whether it was the way your eyes made the salt in the air taste sweet, or how your hand tightened around his like an instinct, Taehyung knew regret was far more difficult to shake than fear. He had to say it, had to make it known to you.

And your body seemed to align with that same truth. The waves, though treacherous and unwavering, did not carry the same bite to them. You peered over the edge, squeezing tight to the hand in yours, and when you felt it squeeze back all the fear that once detained you had sunk, been swallowed by something far more emphatic than any ocean.

“I love you too.” In unison, two bodies leapt into the chaos as though they were powerful enough to subdue it, or perhaps, become a part of it. The tides ushered your bodies with an intent to pull you in deeper, however your hand remained with his. That same force, the one that helped you jump from a cliff, the one that tread alongside the chaos of water, the one that loved Taehyung, was an anchor that you believed would hold you secure in the ocean with him.  

Hoseok was the first to locate your somber resignation and through a silent alarm, Jimin squared his focus back to your face, glossed over with grief. Both battling off worry in their own ways, Jimin found a release by checking his phone, acting as though time had gotten away from him. It's not that he didn't want to be there for you, to ask you to unfold the pain you felt, to feel it with you like he’d done at the bridge. He did, however he knew it would be more appropriate if Hoseok filled that role. He knew he had to wait until you were the one to ask.

"Today was fun. Nice seeing you, Hoseok." He suddenly felt so mismatched. Eyes following how Hoseok's arms enveloped into warmth, it was an invitation not yet extended to him. "___, take care. I'll see you around."

"Bye, Jimin." You broke yourself in two trying to act normal. If you could speak without crying, you would have asked him to stay. Your hand tightened around the air you wished was him instead.

"See you next week." Hoseok said, cheer still lingering in his voice. He hadn’t spent any additional time letting your change in temperament go unattended. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Really, you don't have to ask every time. It's always the same thing." You pleaded in a way that insinuated this was some sort of favor. He knew it wasn't.

"I just..." Hoseok wilted as he felt your body lean away from him. "We need to figure something out."

"I know." Only you didn't. You couldn't possibly piece together what could be done.

"Hmm, there's this party." On cue, two sets of eyebrows moved in opposite directions. Yours sinking and his climbing. "No, listen-"

"No..."

"C'mon, just like one hour!"

"Hobi." Whenever you whined, it meant there was allowance for persuasion.

"I'll be with you the whole time, swear!" Hoseok's hands cupped yours. "Don't you wanna celebrate being back in school?"

"Why would I want to celebrate that?" You argued even though your cynicism never carried enough potency with Hoseok.

"Because! It'll be fun." Hoseok pulled a shield over his ears when he wanted something.

A beat of anticipation passed. You rolled your eyes in defeat because how could you let his eyes limp on the ends and his mouth hang in such a heart wrenching way.

"Fine." Hoseok cheered himself into wakefulness. Already prattling on about the plans, the pre-gaming, the outfits.

This, you thought, was rewarding enough. His eyes became a house of stars while his smile reached to his ears. Hoseok was happy, and it miraculously made way for you to be as well.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

It’s not that you thought this wouldn’t happen, just that you knew you would never be able to arm enough resistance to the gravity Taehyung seemed to have on you.

There he was. A stunning ray of light dressing him like a saint. You played out what would have happened two months ago. There would be a kiss before a verbal hello. A hand remaining at the small of your back, holding to make sure you would stay close. Love exchanged through a single glance, so palpable you would inhale something denser than air. It was almost impossible to remember why such a connection could waiver, let alone collapse completely.

You were already making your way back home and you didn't want cowardice to strand you in an unplanned detour. No, you were going to face this pain. The damage seemed to ricochet a bloodthirsty bullet in the caverns of your chest when you tried to avoid it anyway. Taehyung's notice of you was tardy, just a second too late to pretend he hadn't.

He hadn't been able to fully drain the life from you, leaving your mass of flesh half-alive, panting like unfinished prey. His hands were still red either way. It's what made seeing you feel vindicating. Him, faced with the aftermath of a mercy kill denied.

"H- hi."

"Hey."

The ice felt so unbroken, frost hardly even brushed away.

"How are you?" He winced at his own question.

"You know. Getting by." Your knuckles had turned white. It matched accordingly with your shallow breathing. "You?"

"Yeah, uh- same. Just preparing for the school semester and all." He was an artist as well.

It was actually what brought the two of you together. He asked for an extra pencil from you in class one day, bartering a boxy grin to repay the favor. Your eyes were still fresh, absorbent of the beauty the world had to offer. You loved the kind of beauty he offered.

"Mm. I hope everything worked out with getting your classes." You couldn't help but reference a time when menial information like a class schedule and a good meal at lunch were things you kept tabs on.

"Thanks. It did work out since a few students dropped classes last minute." He auctioned off a pained smile. You sighed and wished he hadn't.

"Good. That must be relieving."

You were frugal with your eye contact, gaze warily hoarding itself against the floor. Whether this was to protect you or him was unclear. How could you weigh the severity of earning unwanted pity against the punitive fear that he would not care at all? Both resulted with betrayal exploring the parts of you that had somehow remained unscathed.

"Yeah for sure." Both of your voices were forced, held at gunpoint but unsure of who exactly commanded the weapon. "Listen, ___, I've- um, I've been wanting to talk to you."

"About?"

"Um..." His hesitation was rewarding, shamefully so. You wanted to make him say it, to voice the ugliness of it all. How criminal he must feel, seeing you limp through the world, searching for whatever you lost that made his love deter. "You know. About... everything."

"Taehyung." Before, you only said his full name when circumstances called for sternness. Now, it was the default. The kindness with which you addressed him drowned somewhere between the initial heartbreak and the fourth night spent emptying yourself of him through tears. "I can't really do this right now."

"I didn't mean right now, just sometime." Maybe a week ago, you'd fold yourself in half trying to fit into his life. You'd take out a notepad, write down all the things that went wrong so you could fix it.

But you didn't want to be fixed for him, not when he was the one who broke the two of you.

"Tae..." His nickname slipped out like acid. You had to release how it burned in your mouth one way or another.

"Please? There's just so much I want you to know." He punctuated his gaze on your boots, the ones he gifted to you last Christmas. "Please?"

It was selfish, rash. You'd finally gained an ounce of momentum. It wasn't always much help but it was something. Would he really be cruel enough to lay waste to it all? Just because he wanted you to know the gritty details of how he now found you to be unlovable?

You do not have to be good. His words were a lullaby that breathed for you when your lungs could not.

"I-" You felt frustrated with him, released something once held hostage. "Can you just respect that I might not be ready?"

You ignored the sting of guilt when he nodded so hastily.

"Yeah, sorry. You're right. I'm sorry" He was profuse with his remorse. Again, you wanted him to stop.

"It's fine." You said quietly.

"It's just... seeing you now," There had been a twitch in his arm, a motion overruled. You wondered if it was to reach out to you. "All I want is for you to be okay, ___."

"Thanks." This conversation began to run stale. You adjusted your bag, somewhat of a prompt for Taehyung to bid his farewells. "I'll let you know."

It was a promise already half broken.

"Okay." He exhaled. "I'll see you around, ___."

"Yeah, for sure." Whatever love you still felt for him was undetectable, buried deep beneath the rest of your feelings for him. Not all of them were bad, but certainly overpowering and abstaining from anything close to love.

Taehyung watched you leave and still so much of you stayed with him. He hadn't noticed how long it's been since your voice had touched his ears, hadn't realized, until now, that he missed it. He didn't know what to do with this, so he did nothing and hoped complacency would work out this time.

As you left, the pain grew a little quieter. It felt empowering to be the one that walked away. You never realized how much bravery there was in this until now, how your legs continued forward as some sort of defiance to the rattling of your heart, the shivers running along your skin. It was the same feeling of when you jumped off that cliff all those years ago with him. But there was no cliff. Just a person who walked away and hadn't needed an entire ocean nor his loving hand to consume fear.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

Dusk casted a blueness onto everything. It reminded you of the lost things, not just in your life, but everyone's. The forgotten things, abandoned things, things sacrificed and things surrendered. In some strange way, it helped to cope with loneliness, the idea that you were not the only lost thing in this world.

It was cold, a bit disheartening you had grown to feel so comfortable in this. Taehyung tinted the life you had shared, so much that you had forgotten what it looked like without him. You missed how he rested his head in your lap, how he turned his head into your hand when it brushed through his hair, how he used the backside of his fingertips to graze your cheek. It was a source of comfort and safety specific to you, but as you sat on your couch in the fetal position, you had no agency to stop him from doing the same thing to someone else's cheek.

You missed loving someone so fully, missed how it meant you were needed because it made you feel like something.

Now, you asked yourself, what could you be if not a home for his soul? More importantly, where had yours gone?

All these years, you were busy being someone else's. You dedicated yourself to others, set aside your own appetite for reciprocity, as though you could repay the absence of love by doubling down with yours.

Sure, you felt the cracks along your bones, felt the quiet exhaustion in your chest. However, you also felt the necessity to please, the gratification of sacrifice; it drove you this far in life all to break apart.

"Fuck." You released a deep exhale as your fingertips mimicked Taehyung's. If you closed your eyes, it was almost like it was really him performing that small gesture of love along your tear ridden cheek. Almost.

There was one person, besides Hoseok, that never took from you what they couldn't return.

Before you could convince yourself not to, your hand had already dialed in Jimin's number. And without attempting to rationalize it, you called him.

The rings felt like an alarm, warning you to end the call.

The ringing ceased, your pulse raged through your body.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Hi." You said instead, knowing it confessed what you couldn't say out loud.

"___." He said, as though he was expecting this. And for some reason, it eased you.

Your hand dropped from your cheek.

"How are you?" He asked without sounding burdened by the unplanned call.

"I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"You called me just to say 'I'm fine' and 'mhm'?" He laughed fondly.

"Um... It's stupid, really. I- uh- wanted to hear your voice."

His laugh, even as it filtered through the phone, was lively, colorful. The room around you was a bit less blue, you could have sworn it. You had to stop yourself from thanking him out loud.

"It's not stupid. It's sweet."

"It's not... really. If I'm being honest, it's selfish. I'm just..." You sucked some air in. "Lonely."

His pause meant many things to you, all at once. Even in silence, you felt so much to decipher with him.

"I'm sorry. I get lonely too." Another part of him served to you, eager to be devoured. If a man like Jimin could be lonely, maybe you weren’t a lost cause.

"I guess it's pretty normal. To feel alone."

"Yeah, but it shouldn't be." 

"Yeah." Your voice was feeble.

"Hey, can I tell you something?" He asked.

"Sure."

"I'm selfish too." Jimin said this quietly, a hushed guilt overlayed his voice.

"How?"

"You remind me of someone. Someone I miss a lot."

"Oh."

"They passed away."

"Oh."

"Does that scare you?"

"No,” You contemplated. “I wouldn't use that word."

"Okay, that's good."

"Was it someone close?"

"The closest."

"That's really heartbreaking. I'm so sorry, Jimin."

"Thank you." He wasn't sure where his gratefulness came from, just that when you saw his pain he felt the need to thank you for it. "They were an artist. Just like you."

"When you said you like me..." You hated yourself for needing to ask.

"Yeah?"

"It was them you liked? Them you were looking for?"

"Well... Not exactly but... I... maybe a bit."

Your skin softened like a bruise. It wasn't betrayal, but it wasn’t exactly virtuous either. You wished it just felt okay, endearing to be someone that resembled such a beloved person in his life. You wished it felt like admiration only, and not another proposition to lessen yourself for the sake of someone else. 

You weren't sure if you were justified in feeling this, but you couldn't stop yourself from hurting.

He wasn't sure if he truly wanted you to become a replacement for his friend, but if you started to, he wouldn't know if he'd be able to stop you. If he'd want to.

"I see."

"I-" The panic was palpable, dry. It drained the simplicity that once made sense of the world, the one Jimin breathed life into just to drown it again. "I still like you though. You, not just because of the person I miss. I know it's not the same. You just remind me of them, that's all."

You wanted to be so much more than a reminder of someone who he missed loving, someone he needed back. But you were afraid of even having this desire. These tears were viscous, dread sinking down your face, wet and brutal. And at the same time, you were guilty just as much as he was. Had you not been tracing along the lines Taehyung had drawn first, just moments ago been failing to replicate an intimacy that you felt could be satiated through hearing his voice? 

You wanted to accept this part of life, the part that was messy. For once, you wanted to be messy, to create havoc with Jimin and walk away unconcerned with who would be the one to clean it all up. Everything in you felt a strong gravitation to forgive what hadn't been apologized for, to put those parts of his grief he could no longer carry into your own hands, to hold it for him just so he could know weightlessness again. The same way he had recolored the word for you.

How bad could the mess be if it was so beautiful and light?

"No, don't say sorry, please. I’m flattered, I think." You muted your microphone, let yourself weep with slightly more sound. Your pain could not be known. Partly because it hadn’t felt right to let it be. Mostly because you were scared. "I'm just... I'm sorry. Who was this person?"

"A dear friend. I'd known them for so long. We grew up together. Shared so much. I never thought I'd have to live life without them. I'm not sure I know how to." There had been a gentle tremor in his voice, though it was not out of fear. He did not agonize over judgment, not with you. Perhaps it's because he somehow knew when he spoke, it felt like he was reciting your own thoughts back to you.

"How long ago was it?"

"Two years ago."

"I'm sure it must not feel that way."

"Yeah... You know, I haven't taken a picture since?" He admitted and almost laughed at his own absurdity.

"Why's that?"

"It would require me to open my photo album, to see all the pictures we had. There's so many. I can't even bring myself to look." This was only half of the story. The other part was that he didn't want to capture life through photos and suddenly make it real. His camera roll void of moments that were without them. He never left denial. It was the safest stage of grief. One that did not catalyze death.

"Jesus. I know grief never really stops, but it doesn't even slow down, huh?"

"Pretty much. Um-" His voice didn't have the strength to silence his pain and neither did his eyes. "We used to always go to this cafe together, even when we were definitely too young to go alone. Our parents weren't the most careful, but that's another story. Anyway, it was always like a safe place for us, a second home. They took me there when I got in this huge fight with my dad, bought me hot chocolate. And I took them there when they came out to their parents, and were threatened to be sent away to some camp. It was an empty threat, but still. It was uh, actually the cafe we met at.

It's dumb, frankly. I just sit in there for hours and hope that maybe, if I wait long enough, they'll walk through the door and everything will be normal again. I'd get to see their smile. Hear their laugh, talk about their day. I could wait forever, live off scones and lattes. I still remember their drink order, still want to order it when I order my own."

"Jimin. It's not dumb at all. It's quite possibly the most devastatingly beautiful and human thing to do." It was out in the open now, the way you were weeping for him. No possible way to hide it, not when he'd offered such genuine pain to you. You tried to picture everything he told you, to honor the life that had been lost by making it real in your head, making them exist in the world even more by searing it into your memory. You felt it was the least you could do.

"Think so?" He didn't want to talk over the phone anymore. Now, he wanted to be able to see your face, whatever it could reveal to him, perhaps wipe your tears away. "I've never told anyone this. I'm sure they wouldn't see it the way you do."

You thought it parallel to a crime to know what Jimin does and think of it as anything but the utmost act of love.

"This whole time, it must have been so confusing for you. So hard to find hope. So lonely. And still, you're this... you're kind and unafraid of love, even when the worst of life tries to destroy the very idea of it. You're the one mourning someone, and you still listen to me cry over a stupid boy who broke up with me." You laughed, not out of humor. Perhaps remorse or irony. "I- It's unfair, someone like you had to go through this. All that love you have. I wish you had somewhere to put it."

"You-." Even though the subject matter had been locked in the rawest, most painful part of him, he felt warmth, felt your care blossoming in him like Spring. "I feel so seen with you, ___. I can't tell you how much it means to me. How much you mean to me."

"You... mean a lot to me too, Jimin."

It was true, he meant a lot. The fine print of said meaning was something you decided not to examine. For now.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

You already knew Jimin would be at the party. Hoseok was always so quick to share intel about the social life you were never so keen on. You could only contribute to socialization within the parameters of Hoseok. With him, you'd been able to hold conversations, elicit a laugh or two, garner acquaintances that exchanged nods as you passed by them on campus. Though, nothing seemed to stick with you. Those connections were a spark bound to fade.

This made you wonder how long it would take for Jimin's interest in you to expire. Even though you knew your connection with him was much deeper, you saved room for disappointment. Old habits die hard and this one felt immortal.

Your clothes could barely do its job tonight. Resting slightly askew, seams etching discomfort along your sides at just the right angle. But you'd already tried using this as an excuse to skip the party. The taxi two minutes away from the address denoted how weakly your complaints pushed against Hoseok. He knew how hollow they were, and hadn't bothered refuting such backless protests.

The music spilled from any opening that would allow it. There was some form of chaos contained in the house before you and Hoseok. You were incredibly out of your depth, hand gripping your friend's forearm. He winced, trying to fend off the slight burn at the sinking of your fingernails.

"Alright. Game plan." He turned to you. "Let's immediately try to find something to get us more drunk."

You nodded along like a cadet following orders. It made Hoseok chuckle, seeing you stiff and earnest.

"Just relax, ___" He ran his hands up and down your arms. "We already had like two or so shots, it shouldn't be too hard to get tipsy enough to enjoy ourselves."

You appreciated how he used inclusive language like 'we' and 'our'. The two of you, a team. He involved himself in your feelings, ensuring you never actually took to heart how truly out of place you were.

"Sure, sure." Your agreement only surfaced because of a six-year and counting trust in him. "Just need to find some vodka or something."

"Yes! God, I love drunk ___. You get so giggly and excited." He smiled, leading the way to the front door.

Inside, a tumultuous scene laid out like a battlefield. There was nonstop movement, a body always knocking into another, a place more exciting than the last. Your hopes to source any kind of alcohol began to recede. It wasn't a particularly overpopulated party, but you could feel the hunger, how rapidly these people took to abandoning their sobriety.

"Follow me!" He hitched his voice to a half-scream, barking an order that sounded more like a warning since he held your hand tightly and began dragging you mid-sentence.

"Okay!" You were lucky to be caught in Hoseok's wake. A few unknown faces recognized him, making way with an eager greeting.

"Hoseok, what's up?"

"Hoseok! Finally showed up!"

Many more renditions of these circulated on the way to find drinks. One person, however, hadn't crossed paths with you yet. You warded off disappointment through your continual search for him.

The mini bar sat against the back wall of the room, a few people departing as quickly as they approached. To your delight, it was still stocked, generously so.

"Who the hell is hosting this party?" This question was provoked by the sheer amount of alcohol and variety in this corner of the world.

"Honestly? Not too sure, but they're probably rich as fuck." He responded, already sifting through the options.

"Hey, glad the two of you made it." This was the first person to signify your presence, acknowledge your quiet company with Hoseok. You knew it had to be him. You knew, because suddenly, you captured that rare sense of belonging.

"Jimin!" Hoseok may have voiced excitement, but it had not surmounted yours. As you turned to him, you felt your words catch in your throat.

It was nothing spectacular, nothing you'd remember on anyone else. His hair styled in a way that accentuated the beauty dressing his features like a picture frame. His loosely fitted button up, undone at the top, sleeves folded halfway up his forearms, revealing just enough to want more.

"Hey!"

"Hi!"

The two of you had indecisively stood across from one another, unsure where to go from here. Your bodies a soft rebellion to the movement surrounding you. How easy it would have been to reach out, collect his warmth as your own through embrace.

Hoseok broke the stillness, handing both of you a shot glass full of something clear and pungent. Jimin watched you take it from him, steadying Hoseok's erratic movements with your palms, hands so gentle they made him into something delicate, soft, easily broken, and yet shielded from harm by how your fingers curled over his skin. He watched, treading in wonder of what it felt like to be touched in such a manner by you.

"Okay, cheers!" You spoke through a laugh, interrupting Jimin's reverie.

The shot slid like hot coal down your throat. Hoseok's face contracted into itself while you steadied your breathing to keep it from coming back up. The punishing taste nearly made all this not worth the trouble. But tonight, you wanted to breathe again, to throw fear in the air, even if it meant there would be a crash landing. Tonight, you left your grief waiting at the door. Jimin had done the same.

"Okay another!" 

"Damn, ___! I didn't expect you to be such a..." Jimin cautioned, making note of your spirited smile, "wild card."

"Oh this?" You'd finished pouring a second shot, holding out the bottle to the lip of his glass, alcohol eager to fill the emptiness. "This is just free therapy."

"___'s kidding. Kind of. It's like the only idea I had left that might pull them out of their slump." Hoseok explained.

"Ah, yes. The heartbreak." Jimin spoke as though it was an admittance to something.

"He knows?"

"He does." You confessed on behalf of him.

"How?"

"The bridge."

"The bridge." Hoseok's emphasis on the word assigned notoriety to that moment that was now referred to as ‘The Bridge’. Had your eyes been on Hoseok's investigative grin, you would have been more subtle. Jimin was too magnetizing. An affair of longing and reticence traveling from your smile to his.

"You know, I'm very excited to see how this goes." Jimin toasted, another shot of liquid courage burying your inhibitions as you gulped it down.

The three of you basked in laughter, excavating a bit of the tension. The fragments of your joy felt so complete with them, pulling from the bottom of your gut and falling into your hands like a long lost friend.

About three more shots in, you had to allocate more attention on where your feet landed. Your hands frantic for a crutch when your head couldn't provide stability or balance. Hoseok would be given hell for breaking the pact, wandering into the dance scene when he heard his favorite song playing. But you had Jimin, and Hoseok must've known that there was security for you in that, one more reason, besides him, to stay.

"Jimin!" Words sloppy and undressed of reserve, you let them rise from a part of you not often shown to the public eye. "You know something about you!"

"What? Tell me." He smiled. Tequila was a convenient scapegoat for how his hand found comfort on the groove of your waist, how your body curved against the invisible partition once held firm by sobriety. Jimin labored to keep his heart rhythmic upon feeling your torso fitting into the crooks of his so neatly.

"You, Jimin," Your hand slammed into his chest, "You are very, very troublesome for me."

"Why's that?" A glint of hope painted his words. His cheeks were a shade of desire that nearly formed a plea in the soft, pink expanse.

"Because..." The fabric of his shirt was welcoming as you inched your hand lightly along it just to feel the texture, and nothing else. At least, that's what you told yourself. "I was safe."

"What do you mean?" Curiosity settled in.

"I was safe," You rolled your head off kilter, a result of the drunken lapse in your neck muscles. His hand was quick to cradle your head back to the close quarters. "I was just in my own little world... I could just mope around all day. I was so close to being okay with loneliness. And then you came along."

You felt that your skin being the only part of you shared with him was not enough now. The boundaries contrived of fear had withered, and holding your bodies tightly together hadn't sufficed for the closeness you craved. You wanted to feel him in ways not derived from physicality, like if you pressed your hand deep enough into his chest, it would be no different than his own beating heart.

He had a mole on his neck. For some reason, you loved that he had a mole on his neck. Your finger had disobediently grazed against it. He tried not to let it show physically how it excited him, but you took notice of his Adam's apple rising then falling.

"Jimin." His name formed like a prayer in your mouth. "What do I do now that you've become a part of my world?"

"I-" He took in air sharply through a clenched jaw, hoping courage would follow suit. "I can't decide that for you."

Jimin embarked on his usual journey along your face, drifting down to your lips and staying there uncharacteristically long. They twitched under the cinch of his eyes.

"Hey." You whispered. "Can I- I want to..."

Before continuing, you drew in close. You barely spared any space between your soft breath and the shell of his ear.

"Kiss you."

"Yes." He swallowed what was left of his dignity and let the chill of how your fingers ghosted along his neck calm him. "I mean... please. I want you."

"Jimin." You pleaded back, only to make him, this moment, more real from the utterance of his name.

His thumb flushed restraint away from you, sliding down the curve of your cheek and gliding across your lower lip. There might have been a better, more responsible way to release the pressure building between two bodies needing more from one another. However, it didn't matter. Not when your thoughts stilled, when he took his lower lip between his teeth in an effort to make himself pliant so you could decide what was going to happen, when the world quieted into a whisper, then silence.

A collision transpired, erupting from the friction of your lips tangling messily, greedily into Jimin's.

He kissed you the same way he danced, soft and experienced, as though this was something he had rehearsed for. How many times had this moment been a fantasy starved in Jimin's mind? You couldn't bring yourself to find an answer, to care. When the warm flush of his tongue introduced itself to you, everything in you was dedicated to giving sustenance to him.

His hands held you, moving in ways that only brought you closer. Jimin was pulling threads loose, unraveling into a mess that only knew how to want you. Your back was warm where his need pressed into you, and you returned the favor with how your hands brushed into his hair.

"___." His voice, echoing into you, speaking life into you. Reinventing you, through the way he said your name. "Not bad too bad of a kisser."

Both your eyes had been lidded, found it difficult to open them and make what just happened real. But he knew your smile emerged, feeling your lips stretch into joy.

"Shut up." You nudged him. And when his body leaned, yours followed, crashing against him like a tide on the shore. You opened your eyes, feeling emboldened yet slightly unprepared. "Jimin."

Open your eyes, you pleaded, I want this to be real. I want to be found by you, now.

And when he did, his finger wiped a tear away, one that did not ask permission to fall. Something in your body had sunken and fear had infiltrated where desire had once sat. What could he possibly find in you that Taehyung couldn't? What could you be for him if not the remnants of someone he loved more? This was maybe too advantageous, too much for your brokenness, his brokenness to handle. You cried harder, but remained soundless.

I'm falling out of love with you.

What if it happened again?

"Don't cry. I'll shut up, if that's really what you want." His joke landed him another smile from you. "Did I- Was this not okay? Not what you wanted?"

"No!" You said with such immediacy. "I- it's exactly what I wanted. I'm-"

"What's wrong?" You hated when he did this. When the confusion, the implausibility of it all had lost its stake. His tone, it was comforting, tempting and made this so difficult.

"I don't know. But there's something wrong with this... with us." You'd stopped trying to figure out the tears, but he had not stopped his hands from cleaning up the mess of frustration falling against your cheeks.

"Why? Why does there have to be? Why can't it just be simple? Just a person who kisses another person. Why can't it be right for you?" He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of this.

"It's just not, okay? I haven't figured it all out but it's not. There's too many things. Both with me and you." Jimin winced when you freed yourself from his arms as though you'd severed off a body part of his own.

"___. Don't do this. Just stay." He managed to grab hold of your hand, holding tightly. Holding, thinking it was the only way to keep his limbs intact. "Please, stay."

"I can't. It would be too hard..." You ran your thumb over the back of his hand, trying to soak in what he felt like. "to keep myself from you. And when- if I kiss you again..."

Jimin's eyes set fire to the spark in your body.

"I want it to be right. For the both of us." Your feet found its grip, all the empty noise clearing away for your voice. Because you knew you were right, you hadn't felt this determined for something in a long time. Whatever it meant to make this moment right, it would be something you found out for yourself.

"If that's what you need." His lips pursed. Words he'd wanted to say sealed for your sake. "Can I see you again soon, at least?"

"Of course." Your hand fell to your side, finally, resigning once again to solitude.

He nodded, already forgiving towards the things he never knew he could miss from someone other than his late friend. You saw hope strangled into disappointment. You wanted so badly to keep true to this promise, only if fear would allow such grace.

"Bye, Jimin." His heart jumped. There was a faint finality in your farwell.

"Bye , ___." He watched you leave, losing sight as your body was swallowed by the crowd. It looked the way the light filters through the trees, like starlight that finds a pocket to hide in during the day.

You found it was easier to just let the crowd move you rather than moving yourself. You knew it would land you somewhere on the outside of the mess of dancing and laughing and talking. On the way, you spotted Hoseok, smiling and dancing so radiantly.

"Hobi!"

"___!" He grabbed both your hands, leading you into a groove to the music.

"Very funny." You played along for a bit, only because you hadn't been able to spend a lot of time with him. "Hey, listen! I'm gonna go!"

"What?" He bent down so he was in a better earshot of you.

"I'm leaving! Going home!" The frenetic swaying around you only reminded you of why.

"Why?" His voice, tense and sharp, made you laugh, only to ease his worry.

"It's okay, Hobi! I had a great time, I'm just tired!"

"Okay well I'm coming with you then, just give me a few." He said decidedly to which you shook your head with more firmness.

"No! You're having fun. I'll be okay." You brought him close, hugging until his body was convinced away from tensing. "I'll text you when I'm home safe."

You knew that offer would deliver the final blow, his protectiveness satiated.

"Okay, love you, ___. Thanks for coming. I hope it helped you."

On the one hand, Taehyung had only entered your mind once tonight. Admittedly, this was an accomplishment to some degree. Memories staying put, for the most part, staying exactly what they were supposed to be: memories, and not the past persisting through grief. Your mind kept busy with more pressing matters.

"I think it did help, actually. There are some things I need to figure out. Love you, Hobi."

He nodded, archiving the questions he'd already begun forming for a later time. You smiled and made your way to the door.

The air was crisp, abundant. A slight breeze pulled the residual heat of the party from your face. You knew things would be different after tonight. Whatever conclusions it could make about Taehyung, or endeavors it would make with Jimin, all that lied so far from where you were now. For now you stood still, eyes shut, and let your hands unfold at your side, waiting to receive.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

“I came here as fast as I could.” Hoseok panted out with hands full of two wine bottles and an assortment of snacks. You smiled, even a meek laugh found its way between the fever of your tears. “God, look at you.”

He ushered past you, setting down the empty calories and alcohol on your counter before swiftly wrapping you in his arms. At this, the tears began to grow furious, your breath ruggedly thrashing against your throat and lungs. You weren't sure where exactly your hands were holding, just that they tightened around him, and it felt as though your rage could not hurt the world when he held you like this.

“Hobi…” You said. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” He tried not to let it scare him, the way remorse plunged a fist into your heart. There was no reason for you to be apologetic towards him, towards anyone. “___, I’m worried for you.”

“Hobi, I just don’t know what to do. Why? Why is this so hard for me? Why can’t I just fucking get over him?” 

“Because, it is hard.” Hoseok’s hand secured your head onto his shoulder, slowly growing damp from being a receptacle for your crying. “I wish I could take your pain away from you. You don’t deserve this. I mean, you guys were planning to build a life together. I saw it too, saw how much dedication your relationship seemed to have.”

Your legs felt weak, burning where the muscles strained to hold you upright. Through instinct alone, Hoseok slowly kneeled to the ground and kept his arms around you, leading you to sit in the nest of his body. He felt this was all he could give you, his entire body. Skin to skin, exacting hollow and desperate demands that some parts of your ache would displace into him. He hoped it would be enough this time around.

“How could he do this?” You spoke rather softly now, the ebbs and flows of your emotions were an unbridled wind storm that had suddenly decided to let the air stay where it was. “Hobi, everytime I try to get over him, I feel this emptiness. It scares me. I feel like I am nothing without him. How did I let that happen? How did I lose myself?”

“Even if you did, lose yourself, that is, that doesn’t mean you are lost completely. Because there’s so much of you that I love, that I have held onto. And I didn’t fall in love with Taehyung’s partner. I fell in love with you. And to me, no matter what, you are always going to be the person I love.” His hand brushed through your hair, repetitive motions that seemed to wash away your anguish. “You’re still my best friend. I think that should count for something. You are so much more than you could ever know. I haven’t lost you yet, and I plan on keeping it that way.”

For a while, both of you had stopped talking. The only sound repelling a stark silence was his soft breathing. 

“___, remember the first dance competition I attended after I got that bronze medal?” He asked. Your lips parted, but sound had receded somewhere deeper than your throat. It was too difficult to reach for it, so instead, you nodded plaintively. “I told my own parents not to come. I was so afraid of losing again. I didn’t want to give anyone except for myself the disappointment of my failure. Of not being good enough."

It surprised you, how openly he spoke about his fears, especially since those fears were surrounding dance. He was perfect, and still he was afraid. The whole world, it seemed, sought safety in their own ways. Even the most skilled dancers could fear a stage.

"I don’t know how the hell you even found the stadium in the first place." He chuckled, the delicate rumble in his chest was nourishing when it echoed through your ear. "But when I finished my performance, there you were. Exactly two rows from the front. You showed up. I remember exactly how I felt. In that moment, I was good enough for you no matter what. I was good enough. You loved me more than I could ever love winning. That’s the kind of person you are. To this day, before my performances, I close my eyes and imagine your little hands clapping like crazy, your eyes entranced with me all those years ago. You’re the reason I still dance today.”

You looked up at him, and him down at you. He smiled because your eyes never changed. The way you looked at him, it never changed at all. “I know it’s hard now. But you will get through this. I know you will. You need to show up for yourself, the way you showed up for me, again and again.”

You couldn’t deny this, deny the friendship that survived the harsh shift of the seasons, and many things do not make it through the Winter. But you and he always had. As your grief ripped through your body like a dam corroding, water pulsing through as though it was your own heartbeat, when the ugliest emotions emptied, you were left with one thing. You were left with love. 

“You’re right. I know I can still do it. I know because I will never stop loving you, Hobi. There’s a lot more I need to figure out, but I’d say that’s a strong start.” Your arms regained something you hadn’t known it was missing, and whatever it was, it allowed you to hold him back, the way he held you. “Thank you, for helping me believe again. For believing in me.”

“That’s just what we do, ___. Always. Promise me when you do find yourself, find whatever you’re looking for, that you’ll let me stay by your side?” He asked out of courtesy, because he already knew your answer, could feel it as your chest rose and fell against his.

“Always.”

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

Jimin watched the stars vigilantly. There was a credence stressing at the dead center of his eyes. He thought he was going to miss something. Some sort of astronomical miracle. 

He’d never seen a shooting star. It felt juvenile, how he clung to the rail of his apartment, how something so banal was arresting him away from sleep. The breeze snuck beneath his shirt, but he ignored how his body searched for warmth. He needed this tonight, to glean anything but a cold-shouldered stillness in the night sky, to come face to face with something and watch it come alive.

In some impossible way, this might make sense of it all. What he felt for you, what you meant to him, when it's right to hold on, and when it's time to let go. How could he know when his heart was shrouded in grief, when he sought answers in the sky only to uncover even more silence, a galaxy of questions he couldn’t answer. He felt audacious to think the stars uncertain where they were fixed along the dark canvas above. The falling of one would be submission to clarity.

All he knew was that he wanted to call you and that your voice, gentle and steady, was perhaps the only remedy for a silence so formidable. All he knew was that when he reached for an answer himself, he found his hand, instead, reaching for his phone, to call you.

Jimin hadn’t tried guessing what reasons you had to pick up, just that when you did, and your voice heavy with sleep filled his ears, he was grateful to them. 

“Jimin.” You almost sounded pleased. “You know it's two in the morning, right?” 

“I lost track of time.” He said, half-invested in responding to you. 

“Mm.” A pause traveled between your phones. You, tucked under a drowse, felt your eyelids weaken. You spoke, breaking the undefinable silence just to keep awake. “What made you lose track of time so late at night?” 

“I was just stargazing.” The reverence softened his voice into a whisper.

Of course. You thought. Of course Jimin was stargazing the night before he had an 8:00 a.m. class.

“Can you come over?” His voice remained a whisper, but it blared through the phone like a scream.

“What?” You said, only so he would repeat it again.

“Come over. Please? You said we would see each other soon, but you haven't reached out.” When he said this, your heart ached, punishing you with sharp pulses. 

It wasn't necessarily that he was persuasive. You were already out of bed, staring out of your window, watching the same sky Jimin was. “Okay, I’m coming. Just give me ten minutes.” 

Jimin exhaled. His restitution felt a bit more grounded, like he was moving in the right direction. And as you drew near to his apartment, the sky had lost its might. With you here, the world below felt brighter than any light the sky could offer.

You knocked. It felt too formal; you were compelled to just wait at the door, hoping your presence alone would summon him without having to sound it out. The door was eager, quick to open. Jimin’s hair was lazy, falling tiredly on his forehead. It was new to see him this way, the rawness of him, the way he looked right before he let himself sleep, let his guard rest for the night.

You looked the same way to him. Raw, intimate, vulnerability taking over where your body softened for sleep.

“Thanks for coming.” He reflexively pulled you close. The incident at the party afforded him an inclination to hold you, and you to hold him too. 

“It's nothing.” You let your exhaustion spill out, soak into Jimin through how you leaned against his body as though it were no different than a bed. “I-”

He loosened his arms, not to let you go, but to soften the embrace a bit. It somehow made you feel more held by him.

“I missed you.” You said.

“I missed you too. Watch the stars with me?” He felt your head nod, then pulled away to lead you to the back porch. The outside air did not offer the same comfort as his apartment, but as you sat down with Jimin, he was warm. You didn’t need to take cover inside to keep the cold at an arm's length. Never, when you were with him.

“I’ve never seen a shooting star.” He admitted. You thought it endearing. He would be someone who cared about experiencing the simple wonders in the world. 

“Let’s change that.” You asserted such conviction in this, as though it were not up to chance, but will. “Tonight.”

He smiled, eyes peeling from the sky to catch sight of you. So beautiful, He thought. You felt his stare, a presence against your face that resided with fondness in a way that made you nervous.

“If you keep staring at me you’ll miss it. Eyes up, Jimin.” You commanded, and he obliged more out of respect to you than the heavens above. The stars looked so dull, entirely unimpressive compared to you.

"It's funny." He spoke of a thought that must have ruminated long before he said anything. "It's funny what you notice when you spend enough time somewhere. What stands out to you."

"Yeah? What did you notice in all your days at that cafe?" You asked.

"Lots of rude customers. Tired employees. People living their lives as fast as they can. And..." If you were looking, you'd see the smile that crept on his face. "And you. I always noticed you."

"Really?" You were suddenly aware of how close you were to him. The night winds felt like nudges, quiet urges to move you even closer.

"Yep. You didn't live your life fast, didn't feel like you were trying to escape it. And one day, you just stood at the back of the line, for almost five straight minutes. I thought, 'What are they waiting for?'" He kept the realization private, that he saw himself in you. A soul in waiting.

"And you must have thought the answer was some overly familiar writer and dancer who stares at strangers more often than appropriate?" When you laughed, he laughed with you. It was simple, a momentary feeling of delight. And it still managed to mean the world to both of you.

You were amused more than taken off guard when you heard a digitized camera shutter go off. When you looked over, you saw the aftermath of a secret photo being taken. His hands moving sharply down to his lap and a smile covering up his tracks, like a kid caught doing something they weren't supposed to.

"What was that?" Your expression cut in half, eyebrows furrowed and mouth half-grinning.

"Nothing!" Jimin locked his head towards the view of the sky as though it was true.

"You're so weird." You said and it hadn't sounded like an insult to him.

"You just looked too beautiful." Your heart would not still at this. You couldn't bring yourself to figure out what it meant, that yours was the first memory to be memorialized in his camera roll since his friend died. It was far bigger than you, more than you could ever understand. Your mouth opened for a response that wouldn't come. So, you said nothing.

Five minutes passed, though it felt much longer. Silence stretched out time like a marathon, leaving you desperate for rest, for time to stop altogether. Still, you remained pensive, even went so far as to sparse out your blinking just in case it caused you to miss a crucial glimpse of the night sky.

“So, why exactly do you want to see a shooting star so badly?” You asked, your voice protruding from your mouth as white clouds.

“Dunno. I just want to.” It was an unconvincing, partial truth. It hardly satisfied you, but you let it go for now.

“You know they say some of the stars we see right now have died long ago.” 

“Really? I didn’t know.” Jimin felt daring, placing his hand over yours, bracing for you to either pull away or push closer. You chose the latter and his breath released with a smile. 

“Mhm. Even the stars as they appear above us now are actually what the light looked like long ago, since light takes a long time to travel and stuff. It’s like a little time capsule don't you think? A way to see into the past.” You turned to him and gathered his beauty. His eyes reflected the stars, but the longer you stared, it seemed maybe the entire fabric of the sky, all the beauty scattered along it, had been fractals of light from his eyes. 

“So, one of these stars…” His pain surrendered to tears, nearing collapse as he continued speaking. You wanted to cry too. You would have, if only you let yourself. “Maybe we’re actually seeing it burn when my friend was still alive.”

“Maybe… Definitely.”

You acted as though the stars appearance didn’t take light years to travel to Earth. Much longer than any human walked along these grounds. For him, you wanted it all to be true. That the stars were time capsules, delivering a much less distant past back to us when the world rests, reminding us how love remains in loss through how light remains even in darkness. For him, each and every star would persevere when someone’s life did not have the same chance to. 

“That also means,” His hand fastened around yours. “There are stars up there when your heart wasn’t so broken. All those stars…” Using his other hand, he gestured to the specks of light, “They remember the person you were before that wasn’t full of pain and loss. I hope they remind you that your happiness is enshrined into the universe. That some piece of the universe burns brightly as a reminder that you can love again. That you will love again.”

If it was true, what Jimin said, if you would love again, you knew precisely who it was you wanted to love. 

“Do you think the stars will remember us?” At this question, he turned towards you.

You're going to miss the shooting star. You caught the reprimand in your throat, and instead let yourself be seen. You couldn’t protest. Not when he seemed to see beneath the shell of your being. When he looked at you, his eyes were full, and in turn, you must’ve been the fullness that made it so, your soul flowering petals, becoming real, becoming yours.

“I think the stars would recite prayers just to get the chance to burn for us.” He was a romantic. Everything about him moved in order to love the world. You wanted to do the same thing. 

“If that’s the case…” You kissed his cheek, a brief warmth traded where your lips touched him. This time, it was you who left him with a parting gift. “Please, trust me. I will come back for you. But I need to be there for myself right now.”

I will come back for you.

He never knew it would be so consoling to hear that, couldn’t have guessed that it would make him want to wait for someone other than his late friend. But when you said it, the stars rewrote themselves for you.

“I'll wait for you, ___.” He let go of your hand.

You walked away, but differently from how you had done so with Taehyung all those months ago. You made strength into something much kinder than a weapon against pain. You made it into love. Your footsteps were resolute, even as they took you away from Jimin. The stars that had yet to burn would remember your promise, would someday become a light of hope in someone else’s night. 

You took the long way home tonight.

For so long, you thought happiness would be a product of you belonging to the world, finding a place or person that would accept the shattered, unfinished mess of your soul. But right now, you didn't need Taehyung, Jimin, or even Hoseok to find a warmth that made itself seen through your smile. This moment, it belonged to you, this was something you could call your own. The world settled, the stars echoed their light like a song, the night stilled for a brief moment so that it could be a part of you.

The starlit streets had shed a calming, generous glow, allowing a blanket of light to tuck yourself into. You were alone, though the usual bout of distress or longing hadn't intruded on you. When you peered back up to the soft stars, you loved how its light made the world look blue, like a galaxy full of possibilities.

I am the world, too. Your whisper hadn't reached the ears, hearts of those you missed. But it reached you, and you felt as though that made it just as meaningful.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

Three months. It’s been three months since you had seen Jimin. It’s been three months of breathing slow in the midst of terror, shuffling from class to class, spending time with your best friend, painting everything that made you smile and everything that made you cry, locking doors without the need for his reminders, and rediscovering the beauty life had to offer you. Three months, and you felt that there was nothing fragile about you. Not in the way your arms held onto all the things you had to love, including yourself, especially yourself, or in the way you moved against gravity, against the odds. Looking back at your memories with Taehyung no longer felt like you’d unearthed a corpse. It felt like something sweeter, like watching the sun set or clouds pass by overhead. 

On a particularly warm Sunday evening, you wrote a letter to Taehyung, though you had no intention to actually send it out to him. It was something to soothe your soul, to let go of what you once believed to be your future and embrace the unexpected.

Dear Taehyung,

I wish you knew how afraid I was. Then maybe, we could make more sense of what happened to us. I loved you, and a part of me will always love you. I think that’s exactly what scared me. Loving you meant so much to me, maybe more than it should have definitely more than it should have. You told me that I never let you close enough. And you were right. But not because I didn’t want you to be close. I just didn’t know how, didn’t know it was even possible for someone to want that from me. I don’t even think there was enough me, enough humanness, personhood, whatever you would like to call it. There was nothing that you could get close to. I hadn’t learned at that point what it meant to be my own person. That’s what made loving you so natural to me, so necessary. I was shapeless, like water, filling any container that would accept me. Did you feel it too, Taehyung? Did you feel the way my entire being spilled into a mess on the floor when you emptied yourself of me?

Perhaps I should thank you for knowing this was not enough, not what a relationship should feel like. Because in never becoming someone for myself, I could never truly be at peace. I felt like it was all I was good for, loving you, and when you left me, the one thing that proved my worth was gone. I worried maybe this meant I hadn’t deserved to love you in the first place. I realize though, it was never that. 

What I was looking for was always in me. I need to understand myself, to be kind to myself. Nothing can tell me what I deserve except my own actions. I want to move forward with bravery and acceptance. It’s still scary, but I know there’s so much life for me to experience, for me to fall in love with. It never had to be you. I do not need to be a person that lives for others only. I can live for myself, too. There will be a day when I forgive myself for what I couldn’t do for my own heart.

So, thank you, for giving me a chance to live for myself. I understand now that love can look like many things, but letting go is possibly the hardest, most selfless act of love. You have done this for me. I’m still learning things, still growing. But I know that just means I’m heading towards something. Something bigger than what we had. Goodbye, Taehyung.

With love,

___

You didn’t want to be water, formless, waiting to take shape within the dimensions of another person’s soul. You wanted your own soul, something that could house all the allure of being alive. You wanted love to be your choice to make, not some calling that fell into the hands of someone who could never love you in the right ways. And there was a choice you did want to make, someone you knew would never let you erode back into water.

It was 4:30 p.m. If you started running now, you could outrun the odds of being too late. That was on the chance that he would still be there. But knowing him, trusting in the unwavering love of Jimin, you’d take that chance anyday. 

The wind divided where your body surged through it. There was a force stronger than your muscles, more willing than your heart taking you to the cafe. When you arrived, the sun settled into a muted warmth. The metal door handle grew temperate from the grip of your hand. The large window framed this moment, almost still, eager to be introduced to movement. 

And there he was, patient as ever, occupying the same table, stretching into a love that lied so far away. You never felt more sure of yourself that you could bring it closer to him.

I will come back for you.

The second you opened the door, his attention was stolen from his phone. A number of things flashed through his eyes, as though they were spelling out a eulogy. 

“What’s with that face? I told you I’d come back.” You tried your hardest to steady your breathing. 

“___.” His eyebrows hiked up high, incising lines into his forehead. Surprise had never looked so endearing to you. “Wh- What are you doing here?”

“Um, you know…” You bypassed asking permission, filling the empty seat across from him. If only you knew, any table he found himself at always had a seat waiting for you. “Just visiting the area. Decided to get some coffee.”

“Were you now?” He was quick to settle back into stride with you. The two of you pretended not to notice that you had no intention to order, hadn't even bothered to get in line.

“Yeah. You know, I was just thinking.” You spoke through a mild suffocation. Breathing was still precarious, but it had not been due to the running anymore. “I think I have to stop waiting for things to ‘feel’ right.”

“You think so?” It was the same charming lilt in his voice, but you developed a familiarity with it. You missed him.

Had he missed you too?

“I do. I have to start living my life. Even though it’s hard and sometimes right and wrong aren’t very obvious. I do know I’ll be one step closer to finding that ‘right’ I’m looking for if I try. Try everything, but especially love. I want to try at love, whenever I’m given the chance. You helped teach me this. And because of you… I mean…” One more sigh, and you welcomed air into your lungs with ease. “I could be spending this Friday evening doing anything else.”

“But you’re here.”

“I’m here.” When you answered, it wasn’t only for Jimin. “I used to be so scared of the things that make me happy.”

“And now?”

“You make me very happy, Jimin. And I am not scared of you. And if you’ll have me, I’ll stay.” You sighed, took his hand, and intended to never let go unless he asked. “I'll make sure that when you wait in here all day, you won’t be waiting alone."

"You don't need to do that." He said, smiling through tears.

"Why?" Your heart pounded.

"Because you're here now." His other hand covered yours. "I don't have a reason to wait here anymore."

The most skillful thing a writer can do is to choose silence and eventually, action.

The momentum of his racing heart led him to this, to his lips reuniting with yours. This time, it wasn’t starvation that fueled his kiss. It was far more buoyant than before, deeper as you cupped his cheeks. You pressed your lips harder into his as though to test the boundaries of your skin. 

When you’d burned through the momentary passion fostered from two hearts colliding, he turned his face into the caress of your palm, leaving behind a chaste kiss there too. 

“___.” Jimin’s whisper left a compassionate chill in your hand.

“Yes?” It didn’t take long for an urge to reconnect your lips to settle back in when his thumb grazed your jaw. 

“Let's go home.” His eyes were brimming with tears, finding company with your eyes, love flowing freely between them.

It wasn’t important where home was, just that hope emerged when you nodded, allowing him to move on from this memorial overrun with inhibitions. He was ready; he wanted this cafe to be embalmed in something sweeter than aimless longing. Perhaps, grief in its most loving form, the kind that does not keep him static. 

Even as the mouth of worry formed into a grimace, neither you nor Jimin turned away. Your skin was bound through a commitment, one where water is water and you are human, flesh, bones, blood and all.

You passed through the door as if it was an altar. There was a vow embedded in your departure, communicated through your hands lacing into his. To grab hold of the goodness wherever you may find it, to look for it, and most importantly, to love yourselves enough to untether your hearts from the tired grip of the past. Because neither of you belonged in the past anymore.

It was undeniable. The only place you belonged was in this moment, one that brought you and Jimin together. 

“Look up.” He said. “Beautiful, isn't it?”

Your gazes lifted into the sky. The night was tepid, the most beautiful shade of blue, a calmness making the air around the two of you weightless and open. 

And those stars.

“Yes, it is.” Yes, we are. You recited again, to yourself.

“Let's give them something to burn for, my love.” He said, guiding you forward, guiding you home.

╌──────────═❁═──────────╌

a/n: i hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! take what you need, leave what must be let go. embrace love in all forms. as our boys say, love yourself. i believe in you. <3

#bangtanarmynet #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts writing #bts x reader #jimin x reader #jimin fanfic #jimin angst #jimin fluff #bts fluff #bts one shot #jimin one shot #bts fanfction #bts strangers to lovers au #the stars as they appear above us #ephemerlskies

[fallout4-reacts]

k-peasants asked: An actual prompt this time! I know you're busy and have plenty of things to write yet, take your time. Soo I was thinking that maybe companions (and Maxson) horribly failing at confessing to Sole. Like for example they could clear out some Raiders, companion is impressed, tries to confess BAM Sole gets fucking decked by random raider they didn't kill. I feel like you could get pretty creative with that one. Like deathclaws, something exploding, just settlers running in, other companions interrupting etc.

Here, here, part uh 4… after the false start of the part 3…

Part 4

Gage / MacCready / Piper

(Part 1 : Danse, Deacon, Nick Valentine)

(Part 2 : Hancock, Preston, Strong)

(Part 3 : X6-88 alone because of a bug)

(Part 5 : Cait, Curie, Codsworth, Dogmeat, Elder Maxson)

Gage : This Sole is an Overboss! What a magnificent and fantastic Overboss! Everything Porter had ever wanted to do came true! Nuka-World is now a flourishing domain, having conquered so many colonies that the Commonwealth can be considered under the yoke of the raiders, its inhabitants paying an extraordinary tribute that fills the chests at an incredible rate. His people are blessed and happy, and he owes it all to Sole.

Gage never imagined having such strong and lively feelings for another person as he did for himself, but he fell hard for Sole.

And Sole seems to notice it in a far more personal way than one would anticipate from an Overboss towards a lieutenant.

And when a raider wants something, he takes it.

So, once his feelings for his superior are made clear, Gage doesn't waste time. He plans their entire evening and ensures that Sole has enough drink. When he realizes they are alone in the Fizztop, he grabs his bravery with both hands.

"Hey, Boss!"

Sole looks up from his glass and smiles at Porter.

"Yeah?"

And this smile almost steals the poor man's courage. He takes the time to set himself on one of the stools in front of the other.

"I… I've been thinking about this thing you told me, about our friendship and all that bullshit."

"Yeah?"

"Well, what I'm saying is—

"Is that Mason's voice I hear?"

"We always hear Mason's screaming at this hour."

"But these are not screams of pain?"

Gage and Sole leap to the terrace and gaze downward. Preston Garvey, the foolish Minutemen colonel, smiled morbidly at them from the center of the lake, where he had erected a terrible altar.

"I told you you'd pay me, Sole!" the man yells angrily while igniting more fire under Mason.

Sole then realizes that the entire area has been taken over by Minutemen. Damn! He believed he had confined them to their silly castle, but it appears that they have returned in force.

"You know what, Porter?"

"Yes boss?"

"We'll finish this conversation later."

MacCready : Sole pays close attention to MacCready. The mercenary casts an interested gaze their way.

"I have something in my face?"

"Nope. I'm just curious why you didn't leave."

The mercenary with the rat's face smiles with all his rotten teeth.

He replayed the conversation in his thoughts over and again.

Sole carried Mac through the twists and turns of a hidden and forgotten vault, where they fought radscorpions, mirelurks (including a Queen mirelurk), and ghouls, the worst of which who was not feral. They have since established their camp in the main cave, waiting for the sunrise to return to the surface.

To be honest, Mac isn't in any rush to get back up. He never feels better than when he has a good granite sky on his head, but he knows they can't stay confined in the bowels of this hill forever.

The Commonwealth will be expecting them.

And there is a child waiting for him near the Capital Wasteland, assigned to the care of trusted people. Butch and the Tunnel Snakes will offer their life to save his son if necessary, and they will at first not take any unnecessary risks that could imperil him. This is what allows Mac to postpone his triumphal return to Duncan, who is undoubtedly on the mend.

Healing thanks to the help of Sole.

Sole glances at him now, puzzled as to why he is still there.

And the answer, he knows it by heart, having processed it in his thoughts over and over since he found it. Why is he still present? For the one only reason that could exist.

"Listen to me carefully, Sole. What I want to say is delicate, and I don't want to... It's difficult for me to talk to you about this, but I understand you should question my decision."

"A little, yes. If I had the opportunity to be with my son, I would not procrastinate as much."

Mac takes his time swallowing. Yes, it was far more delicate than he had imagined. He didn't count Sole's struggle to find their own kid... and the heartbreaking defeat they experienced along the way.

"Exactly. I don't believe I have the right to forsake you. Not right now. Not after everything you've done for me. No, especially in a situation when you need someone by your side."

"What greatness of soul for a mercenary."

MacCready straightens and swallows sideways.

"How could you!? You know that — argh! — I gave back your caps!"

"And I told you you could keep it."

"Do you really think my motivation is still just money?"

"No." The tone of his friend confuses Mac. He raises his eyebrow, and Sole makes a hand gesture. "So, you tell me, what's so important?"

"Yes. What I was trying to say to you was that-

"Not all ghouls are dead."

"Sorry?"

"Not all ghouls are dead!"

Sole leaps to his feet before Mac notice the abrupt change in the speech. Then he realizes at the same time that Sole fires his first shot. He retrieves his trustworthy Mighty and begins to shoot himself.

It is a true horde that falls on them, and they are in a big cave on absolutely flat land, the fools, the lethal sea forthcoming on them despite the accuracy of their guns. Three ghouls appear to replace each one that dies.

Sole and Mac, surrounded and besieged, realize their horrible mistake.

Their one and only, but fatal, mistake.

Piper : The reporter speaks to them as they approach a settlement.

"Hello! I have a few questions about the living conditions in the colony; would you be willing to answer them?"

Sole takes a step back. They have to repair a water purifier at Sturges' request, and they don't want to interfere with Piper's work on her new article, "Life in the Commonwealth with the Return of the Minutemen." This is, at the very least, the first draft. Piper wishes to develop a more enticing title and believes she can do so by researching the backdrop of her article.

Sole approved all along.

This is the best plan of action concerning Piper. Approve immediately before she launches into an argument about the advantages and disadvantages of her point of view. Her conversation is already something; if she believes she needs to persuade her interlocutor, it could run all day.

Quite strangely, the purifier's filter has become clogged from the inside. Because the duct is too tiny, Sole is unable to reach it. To see what is causing the blockage, they must disassemble a large piece of the devices. As the day is already well begun, they proceed immediately.

Piper returns after around ten minutes to see how they are.

"Hmf. Everyone declines my interview requests. I expected everyone to be overjoyed to be in the next issue, but they're all too busy."

"Take it back tonight at the bar when they're done with their chores," Sole suggests, gripping his wrench, which refuses to loosen the shaft.

"Wait a minute, that's a fantastic idea. They will definitely be even more ready to comply if my incredibly popular acquaintance additionally offers a few caps to pay for the round."

Sole chuckles, despite the fact that they are losing patience after the obstinate piece.

"You know I'd do anything for you, sweetheart."

"What a charmer," says the reporter, blushing.

But Sole's motivation is more selfish than making Piper blush. Every time they told her something in this taste, she reddened, stammered, and eventually shut up. They must concentrate if they don't want to twist the rotor situate under the duct or damage the nets, which would necessitate some redoing, and all of the required gear is in Sanctuary. During this break, they renew their focus to their given task.

Piper, on the other hand, is in a completely different mindset. She coughs briefly to regain their interest. They grunt to indicate that they are paying attention and modify their position to change the pressure point.

"You know, Sole, I've been wanting to talk to you about something a little tricky for a while."

"Not really your way of going in circles," Sole grumbles, thrusting their tool.

"No, I confess, but it's something that, let's say, is difficult to discuss."

"I didn't think there was anything too tough for you to discuss," they groan before throwing all of their weight on the tool to give it one last push.

"It's actually a very personal matter. So, if it's not too problematic..."

"But keep going!" Sole attempts to remain calm as they begin to feel the piece shift.

"I just wanted to let you know that all this time we've been rummaging together, I know it was not easy, I was not easy, and many don't really like me."

They eventually get their hands into the conduit to find the obstruction.

"But I'm quite pleased with you. More than just content. You never seem to get tired of my little crazy... I must admit... I do feel that—

"A MINE!" yells Sole, vigorously shoving Piper away as the entire purifier erupts out of its cement block, taking Sole's arm and a significant chunk of what should have been connected to Sole's arm with him. 

Piper, out of breath and on her back, worries of the fire and blood that fly in all directions and then fall all around her. She has no idea if she is injured; she is absolutely frightened.

#fallout 4 #fallout #fallout 4 companions #fo4 #fallout companions #fallout 4 reactions #fallout 4 react #sole survivor #porter gage #fo4 maccready #fallout maccready #maccready #rj maccready #robert joseph maccready #piper wright #fallout piper #piper

[mysticbewitched]

◇ Exposing Manifestation Myths:

◇ I must say that there's a lot of utterly ridiculous limiting beliefs about manifesting floating around in the community thanks to the bullshit beliefs of the "law of attraction" from people who have no idea what they're talking about or how the whole process of manifestation actually works in truth. So with that said, I'm going to put all the limiting beliefs to rest in a grave.

{Lights, camera, action.}

"Divine timing"

Divine timing does not exist unless you assume it does. There is no such thing as an already "predetermined" time for your manifestation to arrive. As the creator of your reality, you have the power to decide when your desires manifest.

"You must have high vibrations"

Are you serious? Last time I checked, I'm not a vibrator. Who the hell came up with this stupid belief in the first place?

"You must be grateful for everything else in your life before your desires manifest"

I don't have to be grateful for shit, Barbara. Gratitude has absolutely nothing to do with being able to manifest your desires. That's a bunch of total bullshit and why in the hell would I be grateful for everything else in my life when the whole point of manifestation is focusing on the mindset of already having your desire? It makes no sense. Also, every single time I have manifested anything, I was never grateful for any of it before it showed up. It still manifested each and every time. Why? Because it has nothing to do with gratitude and everything to do with dwelling in the mentality of *already being/having*. Screw the gratitude lists, I don't have time for that shit. My focus is on actually manifesting my desires, screw everything else.

"You can't manifest multiple things at once"

Oh yes you can, and you already do. You are always unconsciously manifesting all the time based off of your state of consciousness (mentality) and your assumptions. Your assumptions about yourself and the world around you are always reflected back to you like a shadow in your outer world because you rule your own reality and the outside world is just a mirror of your inner mind. Don't tell me that you can't manifest numerous things at once, that is absolutely false. Hell, you can easily manifest 100 things at once if you wanted to, you have the power at the end of day.

"You must be grateful for your desire"

Press x for total bullshit. Once again, no you do not. You don't have to be grateful for a single damn thing.

"If you spiral, you fuck it all up"

It doesn't matter if you spiral. All that matters is you pick yourself, believe in your power, and continue to persist in the state of already having. You are way too powerful - nothing can ever stop you.

"You must be happy and positive all the time"

This is such a harmful limiting belief to impose upon people, especially for those like me who struggle in the mental health department. You do not have to be happy and all about sunshine 24/7 in order to manifest your desires and manifestation has absolutely NOTHING to do with your emotions. We may be powerful master manifestors, but we're still human. It doesn't mean that we're not allowed to feel and express our emotions when they need to be let out. We cry, we get upset, we get frustrated, we feel pain, etc - we have feelings and emotions. It is so horrible to tell people, especially those who are already struggling with their mental health that they just need to be happy and positive all the time in order to manifest their desires, let alone and that limiting belief is absolute total bullshit. Fuck the law of attraction.

"You must heal your inner child first"

No you don't, manifestation has nothing to do with your inner child to being healed. I'm sure my inner child has been crying out to be healed for a long time, but that doesn't stop me from being able to manifest what I want. It shouldn't stop you either. Work on healing your inner child only if you want to, don't feel pressured to do anything you don't feel comfortable with or you're simply not ready to do. You're still a powerful manifestor no matter what, nothing can change that.

"There is an appointed hour for the birth of your desires" 

I absolutely love and respect Neville, but with all due respect to him and his life changing teachings - he had his own rules for his manifestations and you should implement your own rules as well. This rule sounds like divine timing and none of that stuff exists unless you assume it does. You are the creator of your reality, take advantage of your power, and set your own rules.

"Be careful what you think, it will manifest"

Hell no, I refuse to live in fear of my own thoughts and this is a horrible limiting belief for those who really struggle with repeating fearful/intrusive thoughts. It's a terrible thing to constantly live in fear of your thoughts or worst fears manifesting. It doesn't have to be this way. Only give power to the assumptions that serve you and make you happy. You can simply decide and set a new rule for your reality that only the things that make you happy can manifest in your outer world no matter what then persist in that assumption until it comes true.

"You must do shadow work"

This is not true at all. Only do shadow work if you wish, but manifestation has nothing to do with shadow work.

"You must give to others and receive good karma before it manifests"

Karma doesn't exist unless you assume it does. Only acknowledge assumptions that serve you and benefit you. You don't have to give a single damn thing to anyone in order to manifest your desires. This limiting belief is absolutely false in every way.

"You must match the vibrational frequency"

What the hell does this even mean? No wonder so many people in the law of attraction community struggle to manifest their shit.

"There's a time delay"

The only reason we experience a time delay is because we accepted that limiting belief as true from so many different loassumption coaches. This is not true at all. You can manifest instantly or you can manifest by a certain deadline every time, if you wish. Persist in the assumptions you want and make manifestation so much easier for you. You are a powerful creator, so embrace your power.

"It's so hard to manifest"

Manifestation is easy and simple. The only reason a lot of people struggle is because they usually operate from the victim mentality and so of course manifesting will be difficult for them, especially when they keep feeding into the assumptions that they can't manifest or manifesting is hard for them. Change your mindset, change your assumptions, and persist in the assumption that you always manifest so quickly and easily. You'll discover your desires falling upon you like rain.

"You have to take action or nothing will happen"

You are the master of your own reality and you do not have to lift a single finger in order to manifest your desires. You can sit on your ass all you want and manifest your dream life from the comfort of your bedroom because it is all in the mental attitude. How powerful are you?

"You have a soul contract that prevents you from manifesting this"

This limiting belief is so ridiculous. There is no such thing as a soul contract. There is nothing in this world that can ever prevent you from manifesting absolutely everything you desire.

"You can't affirm in future tense"

Yes you can, I have manifested plenty of things just by knowing "this is going to happen". I personally prefer to affirm in present tense, but if you enjoy affirming in future tense then go for it.

"But astrology, fate, destiny-"

I used to be the biggest believer in all these things, especially astrology. None of these things exist unless you assume it does and even if you do believe in them, nothing on this Earth can ever override your power and predict the outcomes of your future. Only you can decide and make your destiny.

"It takes this amount of weeks/months to manifest"

Nope, you make the rules. This is your reality, live by your own rules. It doesn't have to be a long and drawn out process, you can manifest your desires as soon as possible and get your dream life now.

"You must confront your past trauma"

This is a very sensitive subject for some people and it's a harmful limiting belief. Nothing can ever stop you from manifesting your desires no matter what.

"You have to feel the emotions"

When Neville spoke on, "Feeling is the secret" - he is referring to the state of knowing, a confident attitude of mind. Not your emotions. It seriously annoys the hell out of me to see so many loassumption coaches get this one wrong too and yet, they try to teach Neville. Once again, your emotions have absolutely nothing to do with your ability to manifest your desires.

"But mercury retrograde!"

I never believed this bullshit limiting belief for a single second even back in my law of attraction days. Mercury retrograde doesn't exist unless you assume it does. Stop feeding your power into things that are not real. Only assume in your favor.

"You must clear your blocks, resistance, etc"

Explain this to me: why in the hell would you have "blocks" or "resistance" that prevent you from manifesting your desires- when the power of divine manifestation is your birthright as the creator of your reality? It makes no sense at all. There is no such thing as blocks or resistance that keeps you from manifesting your desires.

"You can't change the past"

I know it sounds crazy. It sounds absolutely batshit insane, but yes we can. Neville has done it, Neville's students who attended his lectures and applied the law has done it, Aiva Manifested That has done it, a whole bunch of followers and bloggers here on tumblr have done it, a lot of people on youtube have done it, and a bunch of followers in the Neville Goddard reddit have done it, so yes you can. If they can do it, so can you. Time is a man-made concept, it is not real. Everything exists now including the past, the present, and the future. There are infinite realities with infinite possibilities. Nothing is set in stone. Your only limits are the ones you assume into being and place upon yourself.

"You must believe your affirmations"

You do not have to believe in your affirmations, you just need to believe in yourself and your own power. That's the real secret sauce.

"You can't decide the how/the when"

You realize this is the law of assumption, right? As Neville says, you can assume anything into being because you are God. So decide whatever the hell you want as long as you persist in the mindset of that assumption already being accomplished.

"You can't use negative words in affirmations"

Yes you can, stop limiting your power.

"You are a co-creator with the universe"

You really think the universe is as powerful as you? Oh that's hilarious. Girl, the universe doesn't manifest shit, YOU do. You are the one with the power, you are the one manifesting - it all comes from your state of mind and assumptions. You are the only creator of your reality, the universe can't hold a candle to your limitless power. Stop giving your power away.

"The universe will bring you this"

The universe does not manifest anything, you do. The power is all you, not the fucking universe. Forget about the damn universe, you are the one with all the power. You are the master, the boss, the creator of your world, so stop giving your damn power away.

"You attract your desires to you"

I am not a magnet and you don't "attract" anything towards you. You manifest everything into your outer world based off of your inner state of mind and assumptions.

"But my tarot cards tell me this"

This is a good one for me to address because I love me some tarot. You can still follow Neville's teachings and practice tarot readings, just don't allow the tarot cards to dictate your reality. Tarot readings are only a possibility based off of your current inner state of mind out of infinite possibilities. Remember there are infinite realities that already exist. Understand that tarot readings are not set in stone. You can change and prevent absolutely anything you want to because you have the ultimate power and your tarot cards are not the master of your world, you are. So don't let tarot define you or the outcomes in your life, only you have the power to do that. You are a powerful creator with infinite power.

"There is a transition period"

No there's not, there's only a transition period for you if you assume it does. Stop giving your power away to these limiting beliefs, the transition period is not real.

"Self-concept isn't important"

I truly believe that having a good self-concept is the most important thing for your manifestations. Your self-concept is absolutely vital in order for you to manifest your desires quickly and easily, believe in yourself and your own power, master your world, maintain the wish fulfilled effortlessly and cultivate amazing self-confidence. Self-concept is an absolute game-changer when it comes to your manifestations. Working on your self-concept is very important and should be your top priority when it comes to manifesting your desires. Without a good self-concept - you doubt yourself, you doubt your power, and you operate from the victim mentality which will only make you struggle to manifest your desires. If you want to master the law and your ability to manifest anything you want - work on your self-concept. It will change your world, I promise you. Once you change your self-concept - you feel so powerful and untouchable, nothing can shake you or your trust in your power. Changing your self-concept will have you feeling like the baddest and most powerful bitch in the land.

♧ Step aside, Fiona Goode.

"You cannot doubt or your desire won't manifest"

This is absolutely false. You can have doubts and still manifest your desires. There have been countless times where I doubted myself and my manifestations, yet they still came through. Just cultivate belief and trust in your power. Regardless of anything, nothing can stop your desires from manifesting, not even you. Persist in that assumption and watch it come true in the outer world.

"You have to visualize"

As a person who has aphantasia and can still manifest her desires like a powerful master, I call total bullshit on this. Everyone has their own way of manifesting whether it's visualizing, scripting, vaunting/affirming, etc. Just do what works for you.

"This method is more powerful than that method."

I'm only going to say this once: YOU are the one giving the methods power. Methods are completely powerless without you. The methods do not have power, you do. The power lies in your state of mind. Methods are there to make the manifestation process more fun and to keep you in the state of the wish fulfilled.

"You can't manifest that! That's impossible!"

Absolutely false. All things are possible because our power of creation within is divine and limitless. There are infinite realities right now that already exist and they have infinite possibilities. This is why we say: creation is finished. All things are possible. You are the God of your reality and nothing is impossible for that divine power. Also, remember: imagination creates reality and our experiences in the world are only a mirror reflecting the state of the inner mind: our mentality, our beliefs, our assumptions, etc - because we are the operant power of our reality. As the master of your own reality, you can manifest absolutely *anything* you desire. Manifestation itself sounds batshit insane and illogical, but it is real. Think about the existence of the void. In the void, Neville declares that "all things are divinely possible". The void is *within you*, if all things are truly divinely possible in the void, then that means all things are possible to you as a creator *outside of the void* as well. Your only limits are the only ones you assume into being and place upon yourself. If you can imagine it, you can manifest it.

"There is a bridge of incidents"

Once again, I have much love and great respect for the brilliant Neville Goddard, but he had his own rules and he made things a bit more challenging for himself. There does not have to be a bridge of incidents for you. You can simply assume that you manifest instantly and if you faithfully persist in that assumption then that rule will come true for you.

"This and that can affect your manifestation"

Absolutely nothing in this world can ever affect, ruin, or prevent your desired manifestations. Set that rule for yourself, persist in that assumption, and watch it come true.

"You must flip every single negative thought"

No, you do not. If you constantly stress and try to flip every single negative thought, you're going to drive yourself fucking crazy. There are two ways to solve this unnecessary issue. Set the rule and persist in the assumption that you never have any negative thoughts or you can decide that only the things that make you happy can ever manifest in your outer world and persist in that assumption instead. At the end of the day, you are more powerful than any limiting belief.

"It takes a long time before your desire manifests"

No it does not, this is absolutely false. You don't ever have to wait for your desires if you don't want to, it's all up to you and the assumptions you persist in.

"You must affirm all day and every day until you're blue in the face"

Nope, none of that matters. You can affirm one time and still get your desires because the only thing that matters is persisting in the mentality of already having achieved the desire.

"You can lose your manifestations"

Why feed power into assumptions that don't benefit you? You make the rules. Decide and persist in the assumption that you always keep your manifestations no matter what and you're good to go.

"It takes longer to manifest multiple things at once."

This is such total bullshit and very limiting. Don't accept or feed your power into any of this. You can simply manifest 300 desires at once easily and quickly every single time if you wanted to- as long as you set that rule in stone for yourself, know it's already a fact, and persist in that assumption with confidence.

"You must repeat the same affirmation 10,000 times in order to manifest what you want."

This is not fucking true at all. In fact, I did the 10k challenge and I drove myself fucking crazy the whole time. It wasn't even worth it. I wasn't sticking to what works for me which is - deciding something is already done and living in the state of the wish fulfilled. If you have a certain way of manifesting that works for you better than anything else - *that is your own way of manifesting, so stick with it. Don't wander away from it.* If the 10k challenge works for you, that's fine. If it doesn't, no problem. You don't need it to manifest what you want. Understand that it is *not* necessary to manifest your desires, all you need to manifest your desires is changing your mindset and cultivating self-belief. That is it. Don't feel pressured at all to do this challenge. You don't need to do it. Only do the 10k challenge - if you want to.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

Bottom line: all these limiting beliefs and myths are absolutely no match for your power. They are absolutely powerless compared to you as a creator. They can't hold a candle to what you can truly do with your abilities. You are infinitely powerful and limitless with divine power as a master manifestor. These limiting beliefs are meant to limit your power and keep you in a cage. So stop feeding into the limiting beliefs, they are powerless without you. You are the only person giving them the power to control you and keep you in a cage. Don't be a caged bird, set yourself free from the chains. Set your own rules for your reality and manifestations. You have the ultimate power to do so. Don't ever let anyone try to discourage you or limit your power. You are the master of your world. So change your assumptions, assume in your favor only, then persist in the new assumptions knowing it's a done deal, and kiss all the limiting beliefs goodbye.

#loassumption #manifestation #neville goddard #law of assumption #law of manifestation #master manifestor #manifesting

[calisources]

KLAUS MIKAELSON SENTENCES QUOTES. quotes are taken from both the vampire diaries and the originals. warning, some of this quotes might include threats, mentions of blood, gore and some other vampire terror. change pronouns as you see fit.

He made me feel powerless and I hated it. 

 Power, loyalty, family. I made him in my image and he has bettered me. I want what he has. I want to be king.

Those who live hate me more than ever.

 You're all out of your minds... if you think some liquor-fueled one-night-stand - no offense, sweetheart - means a thing to me.

I will walk away and I will never come back. I promise.

 You'll never again have to look me in the eye and cover our connection with hostility and revulsion.

People have been after me for 1000 years. And I am always one step ahead. So whatever it is you're thinking of trying, go for it, give it your best shot. You won't succeed.

Don't underestimate the allure of the darkness, (name). Even the purest hearts are drawn to it.

 I don't have to prove anything, love. I am the alpha male.

Come on. One dance. I won't bite.

Don't tempt me, little wolf.

Maybe you should mind your business, wolf girl.

The only thing stronger than your craving for blood is your love for this one girl.

You are supposed to be dead. What are we gonna do about that?

I invited him to the party, love. He's the one dancing on the table.

And what kind of father allows another man to die for his child?

My hatred for you runs so deep it's difficult to pinpoint its origin

I believe that secrets are a poison that need to be spat out.

A better man would protect you with that lie. But I am not that man. And so I leave you with the burden of a truth that no one will believe.

End of the day human life is just a means to an end. Our means to our end.

Perhaps one day, in a year or even in a century. You’ll turn up at my door and let me show you what the world has to offer.

From all the poems written on the subject of unrequited love, there are so few on the pain of being the object of that affection.

We are the savage villains in fairy tales told to children. But not for (name)

He has done damage only a father can do.

There's no power in love! Mercy makes you weak! Family makes you weak!

This family comes with many hardships, but there is one benefit. You will always have a home here.

This family makes me want to murder people.

The line between what brings us pain and what sustains us is far thinner than one imagines.

Is it evil to take what one wants, to satisfy hunger even if doing so will cause another suffering? What some would call evil, I believe to be an appropriate response to a harsh and unfair world.

You can't win a war without a few strategic losses, no matter how regrettable they may be.

We all must stand alone against our demons.

They say that the passage of time will heal all wounds, but the greater the loss the deeper the cut.

Over the course of my life I've encountered no shortage of those who would presume to speak of good and evil. Such terms mean nothing. People do what is in their best interest.

You know, it's funny how often a person's sharp tongue can end up cutting their own throat.

. Death dances silently in everyone’s shadow, and she doesn’t give a damn. So why give a damn about her?

Art taught me that one's vision can be achieved with sheer force of will.

If I tell you who I really am and you refuse to beleive me, then I can hardly be blamed.

If you knew even a fraction of who I am, it would break you in two.

Because what’s important to you is important to me. What makes you happy makes me want to keep you so. What scares you, I want to tear apart. 

I do not wish to watch you from behind glass, (name).

You rant and rave about the monster I have become.

 There is beauty in the courage of the fragile fighter. Those that persevere, despite all they've been through, those who still believe there is good in the world, as dark things we often find we need that light the most.

ou presume to know me? Then know this... I will gladly end you for what you did to (name).

Mere hours after you lecture me about boundaries and here you are at my house in the middle of the night.

Mere hours since she died I've thought of a thousand things I forgot to say.

I can tell you I love you tomorrow. You're not dying today.

Violence is unavoidable then. Well, I tried.

In my experience an offer from a malevolent witch always comes with a catch. What's yours?

It would be better for you if you did fear me.

You know, you all seem to think this is a democracy, and I assure you it is not!

I quite enjoy my obsessions, thank you very much.

Everybody knows you're in love with her. 

You do realize it is not I who is to be the husband you can boss around.

You declared war when you came after my family and for that, I will make you suffer as only I can.

 I'm sorry, is this some sort of motherly critique? Please feel free to choke on it.

The whole time she lied to me. She made me weak.

Well it was a challenge to find a good pairing. What wine goes well with treachery?

A man damaged by his demons and those demons are not dormant, they are hell-bent on killing me and everything I find beautiful. And you, you are beautiful.

#rp meme #sentences memes #meme call #roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. ) #rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #roleplay meme #he has so many quotes i love ok

[brainrot4dayz]

Let them eat cake //Xiao brainrot +18 ; commission

"I never knew such happiness could be bestowed upon my life, yet here you are. Thank you."

Notes: afab reader, Out of character Xiao - he actually says what's on his mind and is overall happier wow

TW: Xiao x therapy, fr this one is wholesome ok don't @ me, teasing, vanilla sex

Art by raicyou7

You chuckled at your best friend's vow which made Xiao pout. You both were just hanging out somewhere near Wangshu Inn. You were sitting on the grass next to a tree and he was laying down, with his head on your lap; just enjoying the sunrise after a long night of slaying demons together.

-If I didn't know you any better I could've sworn this is a love confession.

That remark only earned you a huff.

-And what if it was?

He mumbled, attempting to cling onto your shirt like a spoiled kid. How adorable.

-Didn't hear you, can you repeat that?

You teased, knowing damn well that it would only get him flustered. Yet you were wrong. He sat up, now holding your face between his hands. How surprising...

-I love you.

He made your heart fill with joy everytime you heard him utter those words. They have always been so raw and pure, you deeply cherished those moments.

-I love you too! But you already know that. You are my dearest friend.

Xiao's heart sunk for a moment and so did yours. It was objectively funny in a way.

You've known one another for centuries; thus proving your immortality to the adeptus who initially treated you as a mere mortal to avoid getting attached to you. His feelings towards you and the world changed remarkably as time passed; you've been there for him and with you by his side he's healed. However, your feelings were set on him since day one:

You've had romantic feelings for him for the longest time and you valued your bond with him; losing it over one sided feelings was out of the question for you, so you kept it a secret from him. Needless to say, you also took it upon yourself to not let your mind derail when he would be affectionate with you, convincing yourself that he only saw you as a friend.

Everyone else knew though; it was clear as day that you were head over heels for him.

-Allow me to reiterate... I love you. More than anything else in this world. More than anyone else.

He repeated, squishing your cheeks in order to get ahold of your attention.

-Same here, my dearest friend!

You said, smiling softly. He couldn't help but whine and squish your cheeks again.

-I am in love with you... and it's a particular type of love. Calling you a friend just doesn't feel appropriate anymore.

Of course, he has never called you a dear friend before, maybe he would start now. Great.

Xiao noticed you zoned out again and a dam broke inside his mind. He grabbed your chin, drawing in your face closer to his.

-Listen, I have no clue how else to tell you this. I love you... Selfishly, as a lover would. I harbored feelings for you in a way I have never even considered possible... I love you, so much.

He whispered then he let his forehead rest against yours, eyes closed. It took you a few moments to process what he said, and if you weren't actually dreaming.

But how could you be dreaming, when his breath gently tickled your lips with each breath he took. Feeling his gloved hands on your skin...

-I love you too. Just as much.

You whispered back and it made him jolt.

-Say it again.

-I love you. Just as much.

This time, saying it in a playful tone while maintaining eye contact. You noticed how his cheeks started to flush.

-I've been in love with you, like this, for centuries. It has been maddening... and even now, I can't believe this is not a dream.

You confessed, placing your hands over his and you felt him soften under your touch.

-Centuries? How absurd... tch. Why didn't you tell me... Then again, why didn't I tell you this sooner...

His stare was so endearing you simply got lost into it and couldn't focus on the last part of his remark.

-I was afraid you didn't feel the same way, and I value the time I spend with you, so I didn't want to...

Before you could elaborate on your explanation, he pulled your face in, enough so he could finally place a gentle kiss you on the lips. You felt frozen in place yet melting away at the same time.

-Nevermind that. We should just celebrate this fateful moment.

He murmured against your lips and you hummed affirmatively. With that, he sat up and helped you off the ground too, not letting go of your hand.

-So, where would you like us to go, darling?

Xiao asked with a cheeky smile on his face, subtly squeezing your hand. Just hearing him call you his darling made the moment feel even more surreal.

-Perhaps we could get some cake?

-Cake... sure.

He sounded somewhat underwhelmed by your answer.

-Can we eat it somewhere secluded?

You nodded at his request and it seemed to get him back in good spirits.

You've spent the rest of that morning getting the ingredients for the cake. Xiao would just derail your track when approaching the inn. So you figured out that what he really wanted was to be all alone with you for the rest of that day, taking care of everything all by yourselves, which you obliged to.

This whole time he would seldom let go of your hand, smiling so much that his cheeks hurt and you were just as delighted. He would only depart to snatch some crystalfies. You couldn't help but think he looked like a kitten trying to catch them, incredibly mesmerizing and entertaining. It was impossible for you to forget the way he looked while countless sparkles surrounded him as he dashed around trying to catch the crystal butterflies.

Unavoidably, Xiao decided to sneak you both in the Wangshu Inn because he couldn't figure another proper place where you could put the ingredients you've gathered together to good use.

The bustling of the restaurants in the harbor was too much and somewhere too close to the other adepti would simply ruin his plans if they were to recognize you two as an official couple.

At least that was his reasoning so you just followed it.

Therefore, the rest of the noon you two kept sneaking in and out of the kitchen trying to get the cake done, much to the amusement of the inn staff. Xiao seemed bothered by it and rushed to get things ready as soon as possible.

And in the end it was so worth it; the cake turned out to be a success!

You were enjoying a slice of the masterpiece while hanging out on the balcony of the highest floor in the inn. Xiao was standing behind you, gently playing with your hair and occasionally clipping crystal cores into your hair. He seemed so focused on what he was doing so you decided to leave him unbothered.

The view was breathtaking, but in reality all you were able to actually focus on was the gentle way his hands threaded through your hair.

-The cake turned out amazing, you should try it too, Xiao.

You cheerfully said as a pathetic attempt in getting yourself back to your senses. But your boyfriend was way ahead of you, flashing instantly before you.

Hundreds of years have passed of him appearing so abruptly next to you, yet it never failed to make your heart jump anytime it occurred.

-Of course.

He said calmly then held your chin in place with a hand, leaning in close to your face to lick off some cream that got on your cheek. It almost made you drop your plate then and there.

-Mm... Not bad.

He cooed as he stepped back and it made you feel weak, unconsciously shaking. He chuckled at your reaction.

-Although, I desire something so much more sweeter than this... And that would be you.

He gently took the plate out of your trembling hands and set it on the table nearby.

-Ack! Of course, I wouldn't do anything to you that would go against your own desires. I... I apologize for being so greedy... saying something so careless...

Now squatting in front of you, holding your hands in his, he seemed to regret his words but you were too engulfed in a lewd daydream to notice.

-You can be as greedy as you want with me.

You whispered.

Before you could take your words back he teleported you both instantly to his abode, you were now sitting on his bed. On his lap with your knees on either side of his hips; facing him.

You were used to crashing at his place out of nowhere. But the space had a different atmosphere to it. It felt intoxicating; fine incense smoke dissipating a sweet scent in the air and a blood mood contouring the space which would otherwise be abyssal.

-Didn't hear you, can you repeat that?

Xiao mocked you, using your own teasing words as he gently tucked some hair behind your ear. He was using his other hand to firmly hold you in place by your hip but pressing your clothed slit against him.

-I... I don't remember.

You struggled to utter those words and he chuckled.

-Really... What do you desire right now?

His question made you even more flustered. Your heart wasn't prepared for his teasing, yet you sought for more.

-You...

A smug grin formed on his face.

-That's sweet , just not enough. Won't do. Be explicit.

The tension started to feel agonizing and you felt like snapping at any point as you found yourself resting your forehead on his bare shoulder.

-I need you...

-That's better, tell me more, love.

-I need you to use me as you wish... be greedy with me.

You heard him chuckle again, feeling done for as he started to caress your back.

-There you go, being so sweet for me.

He got you clinging onto him like a spoiled child, how ironic.

-Keep on being good for me, tell me more. Let me hear your beautiful voice.

-But I don't know what else to say...

Xiao sighed and you started to feel your shirt dissolve under his touch. It was his abode afterall, you've witnessed all sorts of wonders happen in this realm. Regardless, this didn't fail to form goosebumps on your skin.

-Just tell me how you're feeling. How much you love me. That will suffice.

A gasp escaped your mouth as you found yourself completely naked on top of him.

You've been naked with one another before, on exceptional occasions but it never felt as intimate, as defenseless.

-If you can't do that either then just moan. Don't hold back.

With that, he started kissing your neck, hands shifting gently to your sides. You were left speechless, hands still clinging on his shirt that was dissolving much too slow.

It didn't take long before his hands reached your breasts, starting to massage them gently.

You couldn't help but let quiet mewls slip out of your mouth but those weren't enough to satisfy his thirst of hearing your voice, so he started to press his teeth against the flesh of your neck, leaving a dark crimson mark as he pulled away.

You hissed quietly and he took it as a challenge to make it impossible for you to not moan. He started to rub your nipples between his thumbs and as he started to apply pressure some moans finally escaped you.

Grinning in victory, he rewarded you with more kisses all the way down to your collarbone, hands now firmly gripping into your hips.

A peculiar sense of safety washed over you as you started to feel more of his skin, his clothes finally out of the way. It was laced with some adrenaline but the warmth of his skin washed over anything else.

However, not gripping onto anything at that moment, you decided to grasp his shoulders which earned you a quiet moan from him.

-I don't think I can hold back much longer, you're too addicting.

He groaned between kisses, and it happened to be about the time you noticed how hard he felt against your drenched slit. He was slowly moving your hips on top of him, rubbing his whole length against your clit. Your breath got heavy, moaning every now and then at the mild pleasure this all caused you.

-No need to hold back.

You assured him and you heard him moan when his tip brushed against your entrance.

-I love you...

Xiao mewled then started to carefully slide his tip inside of you.

-hhh... I love you too...

A quiet hiss escaped your mouth as you felt him slightly pull you down on his length. It didn't hurt, quite the contrary - and he could tell by the lewd sounds and expression you had on your face as he kept going until you took him in all the way. He sighed in satisfaction as it happened.

-You're taking it so well...

He praised you, tracing a hand all over to your pelvic area and it didn't take long before he started to play with your clit. It only made you extra sensitive, tightening your walls around him. He took it as an encouragement to keep going and you started to moan louder.

-Look at you, making such lewd sounds while having me inside of you... So good...

As he murmured that he begun to move his hips beneath you at a steady pace. Tears started to bead at the corner of your eyes because of the way it all felt, incredibly delectable.

You didn't want to reach your end so soon, neither did him, yet you couldn't help but notice the way he started to twitch inside of you and a smirk made it's way on your face before a naughty idea started to overtake your mind, and you started to purposefully tighten harder around him.

-Hh...Hey! Don't tighten all of a sudden! I... ! I'll-

Despite his objection you kept on constricting your walls against his length, moreover - taking the lead by holding him down in place by his shoulders as you started to ride him sloppily. You noticed his failed attempts at gaining control back right before he leaned his head backwards, ceasing massaging your clit as he came inside of you - a loud moan erupting out of him. His breath was heavy and you enjoyed the view and the feel of it; how couldn't you.

He was still erect, pulsing inside of you, heart thumping loud, drool pooling at the corner of his mouth and eyes half lidded as he savored the fallout of his high. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, then you leaned in to lick the drool off his chin all the way to his mouth, pulling him in for a tender kiss.

After a few moments he started to kiss you back, as well as starting to massage your clit slowly which made you yelp.

-Don't you dare think I forgot about you...

Xiao groaned as he started to apply more pressure. You could just tell that the payback for your little stunt was going to be well deserved.

#xiao smut #genshin smut #genshin x reader smut #xiao x reader

[mgarmagedon]

Howdy! I love your art style and ideas about these silly guys <3 Do you have some headcanons about Bee Team or/and Steeljaw's Pack?

OMGGGGGGG thank you dude! I'm so thankful that you like my silly little au! I truly appreciate that and I'm glad that it made you happy even for a little while :DDD 💕💕💕

And I have few! Thunderhoof is genius cook, he loves cooking and baking, but he always act with anger when someone tell him to do that "Do ya think that I'm ya god damn maid? I was mafia boss on cybertron! Cook for yourself!", ofc after that he also acta with anger and yells if someone did something wrong in kitchen, and it usually ends on it that Hoofy is making breakfast, lunches, dinners, etc. for all of them while saying "what do they think they're making me do? no one is helping me here...!"

Ofc Steeljaw need to deal with it whole time long, because he can't cook a shit and probably he would die if he cook for himself longer than 2 weeks.

Steeljaw is always saying "bloody hell" or "dear Elizabeth" (instead of dear Primus)

Also Underbite likes calling Fracture emo kid.

Fracture is listing Nirvana XDD

Steeljaw is making Clampdown from time to time his personal footrest. This is why he never told Steely that he is able to see his dead sister XDDD

And about team Bee...

Sideswipe has big problems with his hand writing, that is why whatever he wrote is unreadable (even sometimes for him too...)

Since Bee is haunted by OP's ghost, he is deeply scared that OP will show himself in really embarrassing moment for Bumblebee for example when he is laying pathetic in bed, watching Lucky Luke and eating kebab at 3am when nobody is in base... or having sex with Grimlock.

Sideswipe loves using human media like instagram or youtube, he's usually watching drag racing with Blurr when they are both on discord.

Drift loves christian looks of shrines, when he sees one near the street he immediately needs to make photos of it and rebuilt near their base.

Grimlock is allergic to cat fur and is very scared of those so called 'demons'. When cat will be near, not only will he panic, but the closer it gets, the more he will start to swell and redden, to the point when he will faint.

Sideswipe besides of his dashy looks and polished paint job, he also has natural talent for healing people. His talent was most awakened when the team ended up more and more injured after each fight, and they didn't have a medic on the team, so because of this big pressure he started to learning how to help his mates. Even if Danny and Fixit didn't let him help that much at the begging, sorry not sorry, it's red tampon, he once shoot himself in knees so it's pretty reasonable that they didn't trust him with some time they started to letting him help with small injures. :D

Fixit likes to collect things like figures, toys, etc. and when no one is in base with him he starts to play League of Legends or World of Warcraft XDDD He is also old bot, so he needs from time to time help with fixing himself and usually he asks for this Bee or Danny (he would also ask Drift, but he has too big fingers XDDD)

Strongarm gets pissed of every time when Bee tells the team that he has talk with Prime, because SHE wants to talk with his dad too and ask him one billion questions Their talk looks like this: "Optimus... just told me that-" "WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME SIR?!?!"

One big happy family :DDD

#transformers #art #tf #tf rid15 human au #fanart #maccadam #au #human au #human #tf rid15 #humanformers #transformers rid2015 #tf rid 2015 #rid15 #transformers robots in disguise #robots in disguise #robots #fixit #bee #bumblebee #grimbee #grimlock x bumblebee #bumblebee x grimlock #grimlock #drift #strongarm #jetstorm #slipstream #sideswipe #sides

[kdj-225]

um um short royalty isekai joongdok???? kdj transmigrating into a world where he is the emperor and yjh is his trustworthy knight 🤭🤭🤭 (its ok if you cant write this or if it's not exact, i love your writing so much!!!!!!)

[!!! I'm so glad you enjoy my written works, thank you so much!! I had fun writing this prompt, I hope you like it as well!! 💕💖💕💜]

note: this is first person POV, from KDJ's perspective!

cw for: passing jokes on death / dying

----

※DO NOT REPOST / HOST MY WORK ON OTHER APPS OR SITES

A year has already passed since my transmigration into this web novel.

A year of struggling not to fall into anxiety at my current reality as the emperor of a fictional kingdom, a year of fooling my own people that I was perfectly hale and healthy and not going insane at my own transmigration, and a year of me having to figure out just what I could do so I wouldn't accidentally set myself up with a death flag with the smallest of actions.

One damn year, and the heroine could finally take my dangerous knight commander away so I didn't have to keep being under his watchful eye, and they could have their happy ending.

For all that I'd read what felt like a million webnovels in my original life, and for all that I loved certain tropes enough to read them over and over in different stories, I could still remember the plot for this novel I'd been thrown into.

It was typical, for a romance fantasy fiction.

The heroine was a saintess born into the life of a commoner, with a heart of gold intent on serving the people. Her male lead was the cold and unfaltering Knight Commander, the youngest person to have ever received such a title in the empire, and her childhood friend. Both people skilled on opposing sides—one in saving lives, with the other in taking them—yet with loyalty similarly sworn to the kingdom.

And between them was the emperor, who sought to have the saintess to himself. For power? For love? For sheer greed?

I had no idea. I wasn't able to finish the webnovel, considering how it had been ongoing the last time I read it.

"Your Majesty. Stop shaking your leg."

I stopped shaking my leg, realizing a little too late that I'd been doing it at all. "I admire your gall to tell your emperor what to do," I said, frowning when I gave Joonghyuk a look. "Can't you guard me from the outside?"

"You have a window behind you."

"If I die, I die."

Joonghyuk scowled at me. Somehow, he could still look handsome while making such an ugly expression. "Your Majesty. I don't appreciate such jokes."

Oh, but were they really jokes? Maybe I could go back to my original world if I die. It wasn't like I was brave enough to test it out myself, so if someone else could do me a favor...

I smiled. Well, there was no point to thinking such things when my Knight Commander was so scarily efficient with his work.

"My apologies. I'll try to be more tasteful with my jokes next time."

"Please don't joke at all."

"Ah, but where's the fun in that," I sighed, finishing signing off on a document about opening an investigation for a potentially corrupt baron. "You are boring enough as is, Joonghyuk-ah. I can't let you get any more boring when you're with me."

He raised a brow. "Is that why you've set up a ball for me."

It wasn't even a question. This guy really was a weirdo, regardless of his status as the male lead.

"You're my favorite knight," I teased, putting my pen down so I could rest my cheek into my upright palm. "Isn't it only fair to celebrate you and your achievements?"

"You wish to marry me off."

"I wish to see you happy."

I received a mysterious look in response. If this series were a webtoon, then perhaps I'd have a better chance at deciphering his expressions, but it had yet to be adapted into comic form when I read it.

Ah, really. This guy was the one who made things so much more difficult for me than they needed to be. At least Lee Seolhwa was easier to deal with, given her prioritization of healing as a practice.

"How about Your Majesty?"

I cocked my head to one side in question. "What about me?"

"If marriage equates to happiness, I don't understand why you haven't chosen your own spouse yet."

I wanted to tell him that I had no right to such happiness in a world that isn't mine. That I didn't deserve to create a family here, when there was still a chance of me going back. That I wasn't meant for marriage at all.

But I couldn't.

So I said, "Your happiness is enough for me, Joonghyuk-ah."

"Is that so."

"Yes."

He gave me a long look. Again, it was difficult for me to decipher.

"Then you will not question my choice later," he said.

I blinked at him, then smiled widely. Of course, it was like that. Yoo Joonghyuk has known Lee Seolhwa for long enough even before my transmigration that he must have built up such feelings for her even without my meddling. He must be wary that his emperor would feel envious of his choice, right?

But I wasn't that emperor from the original novel. I wouldn't interfere with their happiness.

"I won't, Joonghyuk-ah."

He nodded.

Was it just me, or was he smiling a little?

"Good to know, Your Majesty."

---

I should have taken his words for the warning that they were. I should have realized that something was wrong from the start.

If I had prepared myself better, I would've known what to say now that my Knight Commander was kneeling in front of me.

I couldn't even swear.

"Joonghyuk-ah, what is the meaning of this..?"

My voice was shaky, for all my efforts to remain calm.

Joonghyuk didn't mind it, as he did just take my trembling hand. I had just announced what the ball's purpose was with him at my side, I had told everyone of his achievements—

Then he'd abruptly kneeled upon one knee in front of me, and told me that he wanted me.

This couldn't have been in the novel at all. The ball itself might not have been prepared by the emperor in the original novel, but surely, such a change couldn't have led to something this insane?

"I told you," he said, taking my hand closer to press a kiss upon my gloved knuckles. He didn't seem to mind the increase in volume from everyone else's gossiping and murmuring. "You are the person I want as my spouse. Did you not say?"

His eyes, dark and deep as they were, glinted brightly under the chandelier lights.

"You won't question my choice, Your Majesty."

Fuck.

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #fanfic #my writing #request #kim dokja pov #joongdok #kim dokja

[abyssal-ali]

Masterlist 1

Works written and published for the DC (and other) fandoms! See @/ali-annals for my Maribat writings!

DC

Gen Batfam

The Best Bat(?): Jason meets the Justice League when they accidentally summon 'the best Bat'. The problem? Why does Red Hood (who's a Rogue, not a Bat) know he's immortal? | T | ao3 | 1.7k |

Titans Tower AU (with a twist): The Titans overhear a suspicious call between their resident Bat and a supervillain. Eavesdropping always turns out fine, right? | G | ao3 | 0.9k |

Imagine Dragons: Dragon Batfam inspired by @/salparadiselost's dragon au | G | ao3 | 2.5k |

Burned my Wings: Tired of never knowing where he stands with Bruce, Jason decides to force his hand. Immortal Jason & Good Mom Talia. | M for Murder | ao3 | 7.6k |

you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?: Immortal Jason angst with a happy ending. | E | ao3 | 2.2k |

5+1 Times the Justice League realized something about RH: Red Hood is one of Batman's Rogues-brash, violent, careless. But one day Red Hood responds to a call meant for Batman and the Justice League begin to change their perception of the crime lord. | T | ao3 | 4.5k |

JaySteph

And Yet Forgives the Butcher's Knife: JaySteph meet in Africa while both are presumed dead. They return to Gotham years later, backed by the League of Assassins and their family doubled in size, and take over the underworld, improving Gotham and confounding the Bats. | Currently on hiatus/being rewritten | T+ | Ao3 | 4k+ |

There is Just no Stopping This Thing Called Love: JaySteph weekend 2023 submission. Gotham by Gaslight AU three-shot depicting snapshots of their relationship at different stages | T | ao3 | 4k |

JaySteph Dating Headcanons: What it says on the tin | G | ao3 | 1.2k |

RelationShip of Theseus: JaySteph Halloween 2023 Submission. Jason and Steph team up to go undercover at a Halloween party. They've been friends with benefits for a while, but lately...things have been changing. Maybe this Halloween they'll finally settle some things between them. | M | ao3 | 4.6k |

She's a Knockout: JaySteph meetcute. Steph asked for a box for her leftover chicken and waffles, not...a makeshift boxing ring? After a beautiful KO, she makes a break for it, but is chased down with the request to meet the Boss. Clearly her outstanding combat skills can't be put to waste, and she is offered a job at his new gym. The Goonion are eagerly invested in Boss's drama with the pretty lady with the stellar right hook. | T | ao3 | 2.7k |

what would you do if they never found us out?: JaySteph work together to defeat Black Mask after they kiss for a mission, meeting for the first time after returning to Gotham from their post-death world tours. | M | ao3 | 12.2k |

Deck the Balls: JaySteph fake dating for the holidays. Steph attempts to show Jason why he should appreciate her enthusiasm for the decor. | M | ao3 | 5.5k |

Bomb Threat: A Declaration of Love?: JaySteph fluff drabble inspired by a meme shared in the JaySteph server. | T | ao3 | 0.6k |

held together, our hands became a map: JaySteph Bridgerton AU | M | ao3 | 12.1k+ |

JaySteph Tinder AU Masterlist: What it says: JaySteph and Batfam Social Media AU crack | T+ | ao3 | 0.6k +texts |

DamiRae

Project #68 [Operation Concupiscence]: DamiRae Sauce Week '23 4-chap submission. Concupiscence: definition: noun. 1. sexual desire; lust 2. ardent, usually sensuous, longing. Demon AU + Hogwarts AU | M | ao3 | 8.7k |

Harry Potter x Twilight

time, curious time/cutting me open then healing me fine: (can be read as platonic) Drarry, Time Travel Fix-It in a Voldemort Wins AU. It's 100% a Crack Fic through and through, though. | T | ao3 | 3k |

Miraculous Ladybug

'tis the damn season: Lukanette. Seven years after defeating Hawkmoth, Luka Couffaine and Marinette Dupain-Cheng both return to Paris for the holidays. Will their teenage romance rekindle or will they always look back fondly to that one summer with the one who got away? | T | ao3 | 3.8k |

The Scarlet Pimpernel

her own elusive pimpernel: Perguerite angst, fluff, and smut. | M | ao3 | 5.5k |

#ali writes #masterlist #batfam fanfic #immortal jason todd #jaysteph #lukanette #percy x marguerite #perguerite