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#damn it Jackie that could be anybody
fictionalreads · 1 year
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Love is Blind Season 4 Episode 4
Zack and Irina
This is awkward. He looks like “fuck I chose wrong” as soon as those doors opened.
This is weird af. They ain’t lasting though the vacation. I’m calling it mnow.
CRINGE I need to fast forward
I am already over them.
They’re so cringe together.
Get the coffee away from Ralphie.
No I’m with her for once. Stop singing. You doing the most.
This pairing is not it. I’m tired of seeing them.
The tatas are out and in danger of flashing someone. I feel like that’s disrespectful. Not the outfit itself but the size of it. She could’ve secured the girls a bit more out of respect for her fiancé and her friends and their fiancés.
That sounds like I’m saying she needs to cover up cause guys can’t control themselves and I’m not. Wear what you want. I’m just saying it felt like she wanted to put on a show for the other people there. If it felt like she was doing it for herself that’s one thing but to put on a show for others when you’re supposed to be committed to someone, is rude to me.
Why is she so into Paul. That’s your bestie’s man. That would be a red flag to me if I was Micah.
If his touch makes you feel gross, end it. Don’t drag him along.
Paul and Micah
She’s just so condescending to me.
Weird.
LMAO I think those are petals not feathers
….brewing potions? LMAO
Kwame and Chelsea
They’re definitely sleeping together the first night.
LOL So in other words you wouldn’t have found her attractive if you met her on the street
An honest conversation. A lot of things you haven’t faced yet cause you’ve been in this bubble. If he had said nothing I wouldn’t have believed him.
I’m glad he brought up him talking to Micah before he went and did it. There’s curiosity there
Chelsea seems fun.
Marshall and Jackie
I can see Marshall not being her type physically.
Where is this coming from?
Damn Marshall I would’ve have guess that was underneath those shirts.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them go beyond the resorts before. Like into town.
What happened with them? They were just good!
Girl what is going on? I’m so confused.
Weird thing to focus on right now but didn’t she just have a green bottle? Where did this blue bottle come from?
Not gonna lie, I feel like I could cry like that at the end of vacations when I realize I gotta go back to work and shit. This is not to make light of what she’s feeling, I’m just saying I get it.
Awe. What a moment. He stayed outside the door waiting for her and then she let him in and he immediately got up and went to her. Are my standards so low that that got to me?
LMAO Jackie being comfortable enough to say ge was fine in front of Marshall.
Brett and Tiffany
I am Tiffany. Tiffany is me. Cause I would’ve been out too.
He got her a bathing suit? How did he get the right size? Did he just tell producers “hey I want to choose a bathing suit can you get the right size?”
Damn he really into her ass. Grabbing it all on camera. I see you boi
….they haven’t?! Could’ve fooled me.
Miscellaneous
God that water looks beautiful.
Does anybody know the song playing at 31:28? The one that’s like “the rains taking a day off?” It sounds like a good song but I can’t find it so if you know the artist or sing please put me on.
It feels like Micah is still flirting with Kwame. Why is she talking about she could’ve chosen him? I’m glad he’s like “we ended up with our right people”
I do see what she’s saying about Chelsea though. I thought she was bitchy at first but then I saw more of her.
LMAO DAAAAMN IRINA TRIED TO BE BITCHY AND IMITATE CHELSEA AND KWAME WAS NOT HAVING IT
Oh. My. God. Irina and Micah are so bitchy.
That was fucked up Micah. Even Brett had a look like “damn that was over the line” I mean I could see if y’all were friends and it had been years since the “breakup” but it’s been a week at most. Chill.
Why is she still all over him? And why is he still talking to her? (Kwame and Micah I mean)
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smartycvnt · 6 months
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Army Brat
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Title: Army Brat Pairing: Jackie Sharpe x Reader Summary: Jackie and Y/n run into each other at Y/n's father's retirement party. NR WC: 1159
Y/n's breath caught in her throat as her eyes landed on Jackie. She had seen Jackie's name on the RSVP list, but it still came as a bit of a shock that Jackie had actually made it. The former congresswoman was an extremely busy lady. Jackie had stepped away to do nothing with Remy for a little while in Florida, but once they had split up, Jackie realized how much she hated being idle. She had gone back to California and begun charity work to help her community and those surrounding it. Y/n thought it was all very admirable, even if others had called it performative. Y/n could tell that Jackie wasn't trying to weasel her way back into politics, not after getting a relatively clean break from it.
"There she is. Y/n, come over here!" Y/n's father called out. He was very obviously a bit drunk, but Y/n thought he deserved the night to relax and unwind. For as long as she could remember, he had been nothing except for a complete professional. The man's military career had been everything to him until he retired out of that to go into politics. All he had ever wanted to do was make sure that nobody had to go through the things he had whenever he served and got back. In order to do that, he had lived a very strict lifestyle that kept him completely out of trouble. "Y/n, you remember Private Sharpe, don't you?"
"I didn't know you and Ms. Sharpe knew each other." Y/n glanced over at one of the smaller senators who had attended the function. Y/n was pretty sure that he was the state senator for her father's district. "Y/n, did you serve?"
"No, but Jackie was a part of my father's platoon when she first enlisted," Y/n cleared up. Jackie glanced down with a blush on her face, as if her mind went to the same place Y/n's had. Y/n had been thinking about it from the moment she saw Jackie in uniform again.
"Y/n is why Jack here had the best times in the whole camp," Y/n's father joked. Jackie awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck as she tried to turn away. Y/n linked her arm with Jackie's to keep her there. If Y/n had to stand there and listen to the stupid stories of Jackie getting caught sneaking off base to see her, then Jackie would have to listen too. "I swear she was a perfect example of thinking she was smarter than she is. If it had been anybody but me catching her, she would have been kicked out so fast."
"What are you talking about? I only ever got caught once," Jackie argued. Y/n smirked, knowing damn well that wasn't true. Jackie had only been reprimanded once, and that was because Y/n's father had a "three strikes" policy that could be extended to five if he liked you. "And as hard as it was with the extra exercises, I think the results were more than worth it."
"Oh no, you were sneaking out to see Y/n practically every other week. No idea why it stopped, but I know that my little girl wasn't the same when it did." Y/n unlinked her arm with Jackie's and quickly downed her drink. "It was torture seeing the two of you so miserable for so long. You were like a daughter to me, my favorite of the whole unit."
"Thank you, sir," Jackie said as she ducked her head down.
"I always prayed that you'd come back, so the two of you could make up. I wouldn't trade my grandsons for anything, but I kept wishing at the wedding, it had been you standing across the aisle from Y/n."
"Alright Dad, that's enough for now. I am sure that Jackie has other people to talk to than just us," Y/n said with the hope that Jackie would leave them. She took the hint and walked away, but never strayed too far away from Y/n. She swore that every time she turned around, Jackie was right in the corner of her eye. The party began to clear out around 9:30 as most of Y/n's father's friends left to go to bed, but Jackie stayed right up at the bar until there was nobody else left at the party.
"You look like you've heard that from him before," Jackie said sadly. Y/n sighed as she nodded and reached over the bar to grab a bottle of alcohol. "I didn't mean to cause trouble with you guys, I swear."
"And you didn't, he just really liked you. Do you know how it felt to have a part of my existence ignored until you came around? It was like he pretended I was straight until I started dating you." Y/n took a large drink from the bottle before she offered it over to Jackie. "That's why I broke things off."
"I was running to fight a war I'm not sure I agree with anymore," Jackie said. Y/n remembered the way that they had fought over that. Jackie had valued her time in the military more than anything. She thought everything they did was righteous, to the point where she had stopped having conversations with Y/n over the fear of the war being brought up. "I thought you were an asshole for not enlisting. It made me so mad that you'd just give up a legacy like that, but I get it. You had your principals and you stuck to them."
"How long are you gonna be in North Carolina?" Jackie shrugged as she took a sip of the alcohol. It burned going down her throat, but she didn't wince. Jackie kept her eyes on Y/n, watching as Y/n nervously fiddled with something on her sleeve.
"I could stay for a week or two if you wanted me to," Jackie offered. "But you have to ask."
"Will you stay with me for the week? I only have to go in a couple days, and you can go play golf with my dad on those days if you want. Just don't be a diva about it, whatever that means. He used to always complain about Nate being a diva on the course," Y/n said.
"I'll try not to be a diva. Now, come with me, there's a very nice hotel room I would like to show you just down the street. I never did get to fulfill my promise for a five-star night back on base." Jackie grabbed Y/n by the hand and led her out of the party venue. Y/n couldn't wait to get Jackie out of that uniform, even more than Jackie wanted to get Y/n out of her dress.
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captain-lessship · 7 months
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I want to say something: we always should separate the characters from the actors because simply: it’s their job. And a current situation is a perfect example of why we always should. I have always been in the position that if you write for a character with a shit actor, you shouldn’t feel bad about it but you need to make it crystal clear that you don’t support or condone what the actor says/does. But now that I am, by technicality , one of those authors, I am having a mild moral crisis about it so I am going to do what I said all authors in my position should:
Danny Masterson is a fucking piece of garbage.
When a public figure finally gets what they had coming, it’s wonderful. Danny Masterson, a shit person who hid behind fame, money and a fucked curtain of a rich man’s religion that will protect you as long as you cash a hefty check, is getting what he had coming:
30 years away from the general public.
It is what he deserved for what he did to those women. While this sentencing will never undo what he put those women through, he will be punished and therefore send the message that they’ll get you eventually no matter who you are. They got him.
Now, like some Steven Hyde lovers that I have talked to, I can’t help but feel a sense guilt. He did his crimes while playing our favorite burnout which is extremely saddening to know and uses that role to gain a sort of respect that would deter most people from saying anything against him.
I love that 70s Show. A lot of life lessons were learned from that show.
Red taught me that you can be a sarcastic shit and mean well.
Kitty taught me that love can’t fix everything but it can give you the motivation to fix something.
Eric taught me that there is some extraordinary in being exceptionally ordinary.
Donna taught me that you show chase your dream cause no one else is gonna do it for you.
Fez taught me that no matter where I go I can find friends and by relation, a tidbit of happiness.
Jackie taught me that you gotta love yourself first and run into your own arms.
Kelso taught me that damn, that could be anybody. Jk, he taught me that it’s good to like how you look.
Then there’s Hyde. Hyde is now a difficult situation. Because he used to be the epitome of self-reliance. But now, he’s a well crafted guise that was designed, like all characters of a series, to become well known and thus, gain a type of influence and love.
I know damn well that actors are there to play a role and cash a check but it will never not amaze me that someone can lie so well. Danny Masterson is the guy Steven Hyde would beat the shit out of. Like Johnny Depp said, “With any part you play, there is a certain amount of yourself in it. There has to be, otherwise it's just not acting. It's lying.”
So I am completely comfortable in saying that, by that quote, Danny is a fucking liar and should rot.
I will always strive for my readers comfort so I need to know now, would it upset you all if I ever wrote for Steven Hyde? I will not be hurt by the outcome of the poll so do not let that skew your answers.
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zaenight · 10 months
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Crazy but she's mine ch3
The next day the two girls drove the clubhouse where other charters were hanging outside for the party.
"The fuck you looking at!" Illiana yelled at the men.
"Illiana shh!" Jackie said as she spotted Ez coming towards them.
"Camila." He said looking her up and down.
"Imma just- go inside." Illiana said going into the clubhouse.
"Fuck you old man!" was heard around the area.
Yeah Illiana gained the habit of kicking Bishop in the dick everytime she saw him.
"It's Jackie to you "Eziekiel" ." Jackie said with a glare.
"tienes mucho descaro hablándome así amor." Ez told the girl wrapping a arm around her waist.
(you have alot of nerve speaking to me like that love.)
"You move your hand any lower-" The girl got cut of when Angel came up to them.
"That kid needs to - " Angel said holding his knee.
"Not my kid , not my fucking problem , and if you don't get your damn hand off me its coming off." Jackie said cutting off Angel , wacking
Ez 's arm away.
She swayed her hips walking into the clubhouse , stroking another mayan's face to piss him off.
"maldita provocación, lo está haciendo a propósito." Ez said to his brother , lust in his eyes.
(fucking tease , she's doing it on purpose)
"Damn ." Angel said.
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"Listen kid when you hit a man , go for the dick , then go for the eyes-" Jackie was speaking to Illiana untill a hot guy from the yuma charter sat down, a prospect badge on the kutte he was wearing.
"Damn your too fine to be someone's bitch,whats your name baby." Jackie said to the man.
"Esra." the guy said staring her up and down.
"Who's your sponser , I might
have to borrow you." Jackie said reaching over stroking his arm as Ezekiel and Angel walked in.
And boy did Ez look pissed,oh how she was gonna enjoy this.
"Gross!" Illiana groaned watching Jackie flirt.
"Hush up you little hobit." Jackie winked.
"That one over there is my sponser." he nodded his head to another hot guy.
"Damn yall are fine." Jackie said.
"Would it be any trouble if I could borrow your Prospect?" Jackie questioned as the man looked her up and down.
"¿Por qué la perspectiva, cuando puedes tenerme sexy?" The man said
(why the prospect , when you can have me sexy)
"Don't worry you can have your turn , infact you can join , I don't mind , I have three holes for a reason." Jackie said with a smirk , damn she sounded like a whore , meh a girl's gotta have fun.
As the man was about to speak , a wrist gripped her arm.
"She's my old lady she ain't doing nothing with anybody." 
Ez said with a glare.
"I don't remember being asked to be your girl , and even if you did ask I would say no , now let me go god damnit." Jackie said tryna yank out of his hold.
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After an hour the party was over Jackie was stuck in Ez's lap for the rest of the night.
"Fuck you man , I could've banged those two hot guys!" Jackie said wiggling.
Illiana was on one of
the couches asleep,Bishop stared wondering which chick he knocked up with the little shithead.
"keep moving like that and you'll get banged alright." Ez growled.
"Fuck you , your nothing to me you worthless piece of shit!" Jackie yelled yanking herself out of his hold .
"Im done , with men telling me what to do! , you , my step dad , my ex's , your all the fucking same." she ranted.
"Take your damn clothes off , you look like that of course you belong to a man , no one else is gonna want you, I've heard it all before!" Jackie exclaimed her voice cracking.
"Be quiet you stupid bitch  before your mother hears, do what I say or else , I didn't mean it baby Im sorry." Jackie continued.
She slapped Ez, shaking Illiana awake .
"Let's go home kid." Jackie sniffed.
"I FUCKING QUIT!"
Jackie exclaimed.
"de que mierda se trataba eso?" Angel asked his brother.
(What the fuck was that about?)
"No idea,but im gonna figure it out." Ez said dialing a number.
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sugarrspice · 1 year
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Hehehhe "You're the best friend anyone could ever hope for" with heroaverage and maybe some pining. >>>:3
((Pfft, you are cruel to these poor fellows. Mild references to recreational drug use, but it's not the main focus, Chase is just pleasantly buzzed.))
It's just late enough at night that the room goes the right kind of fuzzy around the edges, and everything is just that fraction bit funnier. He feels lighter, happier, and Jackie's movements besides him seem- looser. Less like he's carrying the weight of the world.
Chase laughs, and leans against Jackie, letting him take his weight. What're those arms for, if not to hold up a man like a dashing knight?
"Knight's a new one," Jackie says, sounding amused, and Chase startles. Oh, shit, they're reaching the point Jackie's reading his mind, like strange, telepathic peas in a strange little pod-
"You're literally talking out loud," Jackie says again, and across the room, Marvin laughs, which Chase thinks is unfair and uncalled for.
"Get ahold of yourself, then," Marvin calls over, and Chase, maturely, sticks his tongue out.
"Mind your business. You're making Jamie sad by ignoring him."
Jameson grins from next to Marvin, and signs, movements snapping with mischief, "I'm devastated, really. I'm about to wilt away from lack of attention. You're killing me, Marvin."
"Die faster and quieter, then," Marvin tells him without an ounce of remorse, and Chase cackles, doubling over and slumping over against; Jackie, who snorts, and adjusts his arm to take on Chase's weight more efficiently. Jackie, who's soft, and fucking warm, and- ooh, really, he got a good deal, snuggling in closer.
Jackie glances down at him, and Chase is- okay, he's kind of out of it, smoke coiling in his lungs and leaving him loose and relaxed, but he's usually relatively good at reading the other. There's a slight crease to his brows, the kind that Chase knows that means Jackie's- not necessarily upset, but unhappy about something, and trying not to bring down the mood.
He frowns, and reaches up to sling an arm around Jackie. He thought they talked about this.
"You okay, starboy?"
"Perfect," Jackie assures him, and smiles again; it's the nice, sweet kind, the kind that Jackie only saves for them when he lets down all of his walls, but the knot in his brow is still there. Chase's frown deepens, and he leans away, slightly; it's not his imagination, Jackie definitely leans after him.
"You sure? 'cause if those idiots are spouting shit about you being a menace to the city, I'll kick their ass, journalist style- fuck over their businesses, or whatever. Bad rep is bad business."
Jackie snorts softly, and gently knocks the sides of their heads together. "No, Chase. It's nothing to do with work, promise."
Chase squints at him.
"You're sure? You'd tell us if it's serious?"
Jackie's smile sags, just that fraction. "Yeah. I would. You're the best damn friend anybody could ask for."
Chase knows what that expression is, suddenly. It's heartbreak. Which is bizarre, even as his own gut twists in kind. Which is- strange. Strange, strange, strange, and he chooses to curl closer, as if he can chase off that bizarrely mirrored heartbreak.
Marvin snorts from across them, and when Chase looks over, Jameson is watching them with something like quiet speculation, one eye cracked half-open. He nudges Marvin gently, and Marvin meets his eyes, going oddly quiet.
Strange. He doesn't like feeling this off-balanced, like he should know what's happening around them, but is just that hair off, on the other side of the line, and instead leans into Jackie's warmth.
They'll figure it out. Eventually.
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lesbianlotties · 11 months
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Okay.
THIS HAS YELLOWJACKETS SPOILERS DONT READ IT ANYBODY IF YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW!
I am very sad about it. BUT. I really felt this whole season like it was building up to this? All of her choices in both timelines. And just the kind of tragic irony of her being The Hunter back then but also being the least okay with all of the violence. The most outwardly fucked up of them (not counting misty who is fucked up in a very different way) but also the person who retains most of her humanity? And she's kind of the anti-Jackie which we sort of saw directly last season with the way they interacted with each other but also just Jackie valuing so much this perception of her own goodness and Natalie being trapped in this perception of her "badness", and the way each of them fall into believing the lie of themselves. I think there's something kind of gorgeous in that contrast. And the ways it plays into everybody else's stories too. Misty killing her best friends. Lottie I think really expecting to die over and over and watching other people die for her. Van actively wanting to let other people die for her (i really want more insight into Van next year she is still so mysterious to me). I dont know man I am extremely sad about it but I also think it was exactly the story they've been telling this whole time and they did it well.
okay first of all i need you to know how much i love you for this. i just knew you would have a good take on it and i'm just so glad you think like this!!!
one of my first thoughts after the episode ended (when i was able to think semicoherent thoughts) was "damn i can already picture hating on the show for this"
and don't get me wrong i'm extremely devastatated and sad and upset and all the synonims for goddammit why would they kill one of their best characters and lose one of their best actresses and there were so many other ppl they could kill...
but... unfortunately it makes sense?? i hate it of course but it was leading up to here. i mean natalie has basically said that the only reason her and travis were alive was because they made a pact and travis died in s1... and the scene in ep 8, one of the most intense scenes of the entire show, it couldn't not doom natalie. if javi was doomed for finding the queen card before, it had to be just a matter of time for natalie unfortunately she did pick that card 😭 and it felt extremely cruel because she was sort of getting better!!! but it's a cruel show so it should be expected i guess. and the parallel of natalie getting chosen as leader on one timeline at the same time that she dies in the other timeline?? absolutely insane in a good way. leading these girls is certain doom and teen lottie already got a taste of it
and Van!!! i'm literally so fascinated by Van. she's changed/developed soooo much more since s1. like almost entirely different but not out of character!! i need to know more about her choices.
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queen-boudicca · 1 year
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Next up in the nuwho rewatch, world war III! (Also i know i said I'd post them at the same time but i had to go to work and was busy)
Bechdel test pass: yes
Made me cry: no
World war three 
Yay resistant to electricity nine
Yay theme song
Yay Mickey!!
Why does electrocuting one of them electrocute them all, again? Do they ever explain that
Doc literally why didn't you tell the soldiers about the pm being an alien in disguise first?
God the elevator opening on the slitheen and nine cheekily smiling is peak comedy
Oh blon fel-fotch passamer-day slitheen my beloved (lol hope i got the name right that'd be embarrassing)
Lol Harriet looks so offended when they call her old
Harriet really about to sacrifice herself for a girl she just met we stan
"Harriet Jones, i like you" bitch me too the fuck
"The slitheen race? Slitheen is not our species" god some showrunners could never
God the dialogue between Harriet and nine and the slitheen is just god tier
"Who's not human?" "He's not human" "he's not human?"
"Harriet, have a drink; I think you're gonna need it" "you pass to the left first"
"They'll never get in" "and how do we get out?" "Ah."
Love the reporter "though why he's been summoned, I've no idea" "that's the chairman of the North Sea boating club" "quite what connects all these people we've no idea"
Mickey and Jackie! 
"If anyone's gonna cry it's gonna be me" i love you Mickey
"You saved my life. God that's embarrassing" i love you Jackie
Rip the secretary guy
"Hasn't it got defence codes and things; couldn't we just launch a nuclear bomb at them?" "...You're a very violent young woman"
"We need a resolution from the UN" "not like that's ever stopped us before" God rtd is not being subtle with the politics we stan (not that anything about this episode is subtle)
I love love love them all working together
*Opens the door* *sees cop* *closes door* 
"That narrows it down to one planet! Raxacoricofalipatorious!" "Oh great, we can write them a letter"
*Throws the vinegar on it* *it just fucking explodes all over them* 
"We've scanned and found these weapons of mass destruction in the sky" oh okay can literally any other world government confirm that? Or any astronomy organization? Or literally anybody
Love how the real enemy of the episode is capitalism they didn't have to go this hard but they did
American reporter my beloved
Ugh the emotions the collaboration
"This is my life, Jackie. It's not fun; it's not smart; it's just standing up and making a decision because nobody else will." That hits hard also give Eccleston an Oscar already
"Except it's not your decision, doctor. It's mine" queen
Love the buffalo password
Love the little missile map!
"Sir there's a missile—" *opens door, everyone is giant green aliens* "...sorry"
Harriet Jones, future prime minister, my beloved
Jackie being willing to open up and have a sit down dinner w the doctor meanwhile nine's being such a bitch (we get it but c'mon)
Nine inviting Mickey along <3
"I'll see you in ten seconds' time, yeah?" Lol rose you can NOT promise that or did you forget he got you back a year late
Really pretty ending imo
Plus gotta love the music
Oh fuck the next episode preview actually slaps so hard damn
Anyway see you next time for dalek!
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oneillhodge87 · 2 years
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liddell-alien · 2 years
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A Fantastic Lie
Rating: Teen and Up
Link to chapter 2: click here
Chapter: 3/?
Paring: Izzy/Female Original Character
Other Characters: The whole crew of the Revenge
Chapter summary:  A bit of backstory of how Maggie ended up on the Revenge.
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THREE DAYS EARLIER…
The Pirates’ Republic was a foul place to settle down. Unfortunately, Maggie needed a pirate ship and more specifically, she needed a crew. Spanish Jackie was a friend, for a while the younger woman had welcomed Maggie in her establishment, but now her stay was starting to become unwanted.
“It’s been months, Maggie. You’ve turned down way too many offers.” Jackie poured another generous amount of whisky into their glasses.
“Two. I’ve turned down two offers.” She said, eyeing the amber liquid, her lips narrowed to a thin line. Maggie wasn’t a fan of liquors, she only drank in social situations and one glass was more than enough for her. Besides, whiskey tasted like wood and it burned her throat in a very unpleasant way.
“That’s one too many offer you’ve turned down.” Jackie was staring right into her face, while the other woman kept her eyes onto the table. “You could have accepted Anne’s invitation. You’ve sailed with her in the past, didn’t you? Word on the street is her poor excuse of a husband has blown up into a million pieces. I’m sure it wouldn’t be as bad as the last time.” She reached out, placing her good hand on top of Maggie’s right hand, but Maggie jerked her whole body away, with a sharp intake of breath.
“Yeah, no. I know,” Maggie averted her gaze and hid both of her hands under the table. The noise inside the room was starting to become too loud. “She told me about Jack.”
“Well? That’s good! You loathed the bastard.”
Maggie sighed, her eyes still on the table, then she vigorously shook her head. “She’s already planned her whole route through the Atlantic Ocean with Mary and their new crew, that’s not what I need… I don’t want to be some kind of stupid pirate of the Caribbean, third-wheeling my captain and her girlfriend.”
“Dear God, birds of a feather flock together.” Jackie emptied the rest of her glass in one swig and then she twisted her mouth in a serious grimace. “Look, Meg, I know you’re at it again with the whole ‘I have information about the Island that doesn’t exist’ but you can’t stay here until Blackbeard and his crew show up. You don’t even know if they will. It’s been months since anybody heard of any of them… find another pirate ship. If you leave tonight, you’ll probably still be able to meet Anne and Mary.”
Maggie’s silent was eloquent enough to count as a reply.
Jackie took a sip from Maggie’s glass, trying to make eye contact, unsuccessfully. “What if they don’t come back? What if the Revenge will never return to these shores?”
Another long silence. Jackie thought she had lost her for a moment. Foggy Days had become more and more frequent…
“Someone I knew once told me that dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’ll wait until the end of my days if necessary. They’ll come back.” This time, Maggie turned her head towards Jackie, prepared to hold eye contact but she noticed the woman was no longer looking at her, as she had her stare fixed on the entrance of her establishment.
“Well, I’ll be damned…” Jackie’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “I don’t think you’ll have to wait any longer.”
Three men have just entered the room. Maggie was able to recognise only one of them. Her husband.
She smiled at Jackie, as she rose from her seat. “I told you so.”
As Maggie was getting closer to the group, she noticed a few things. Izzy Hands was holding a cane in his left hand, to keep him steady. He was limping and she wondered why. He also looked tired, extremely tired. His hair was longer than usual, greyer than usual… suddenly, a wave of self-awareness hit her and she asked herself if she did in fact look older, too. That was very likely.
The tall, dark haired man who was with Izzy became aware of her presence almost immediately; he stared at her, his eyes widened a little with panic and he looked strangely familiar. The second their eyes met, he stopped and Izzy and the other man did the same, with confusion in their eyes.
“Is everything all right?” the third man asked. Blond, dressed in light colours, Maggie perceived the expression on his face as pure concern.
The other didn’t reply. He just nodded and turned his back to Maggie, he grabbed Izzy’s arm with a hand and the blond’s with the other, pulling them both towards the only way out of the room.
Maggie quickened her pace, somewhat puzzled by what she had just witnessed.
The three men were just a few steps away from the entrance when she called out. “Israel?”
Izzy’s body immediately froze; his head snapped towards the voice so quickly it hurt. He must have been hallucinating. The grip on his arm tightened. A silent ‘You got this, mate’ but when his eyes finally met the owner of the voice, he already knew he was fucked for good.
“Maggie…” his voice was horribly weak; still unsure about the whole situation. Perhaps he was asleep and it was just a dream. His face was turning all shades of green.
“Izzy, are you okay? You look quite pale, there, my friend…” there it was, the concern on the blond’s face again.
“We’re not friends, Bonnet” he snarled, looking briefly at the man with an angry frown on his face, then he turned his head to Maggie and the frown was gone but the paleness was still there. “What are you doing here?”
“What, don’t you introduce me to your friends?” Maggie tried a smile, failing miserably. Smiles weren’t her thing. Not when they weren’t genuine.
“Meg, it’s me…” the tall man sighed and Maggie jumped when she heard his voice for the first time.
“Edward!?” she wasn’t very good with faces either, one small change and... poof. You were wiped out from her memory. “Where the fuck is your beard?”
“It’s a long story.”
The voice sounded so much like her old Captain, but the face belonged to another man. It was a weird sensation. She closed her eyes, trying to remember, but the more she tried, the more it hurt her brain. “Do I know you, too?” she asked the overconcerned man.
Izzy sighed, loudly.
The other man smiled and shook his head, after a quick glance at Edward. “Captain Stede Bonnet” he said, reaching out his hand.
Maggie lowered her eyes and she considered not to shake it, but she needed the ship and the crew and Blackbeard… with no beard. “Margaret Smith” she shook his hand, and she tried the smile again, it felt weird. “Can I buy you drinks? I actually have a job offer for you.”
“That sounds interesting! I’m going to get us a table!” Stede marched right back into the room, with a big smile on his face.
Well, that was easy. She thought.
“It’s very nice to see you both, again. Maybe we can chat properly after we’ve discussed business…” she gave Edward an awkward pat on the arm, “Oh, Izzy… I have no money so you’re paying for the drinks.” She left with a wide grin on her face, Edward and Izzy stayed behind.
“What the fuck just happened?” Izzy’s eyes were following the odd couple, his voice lower and still uncertain.
“We’ve been ambushed.” Edward replied, dead serious. “Izzy-”
“It’s all water under the bridge,” Izzy cut him off, still trying to recollect himself.
“You’re still wearing her wedding band” Edward pointed out, nodding his head at the small ring around his tie.
“It means nothing. Let’s hear what she has to say this time,” the other man averted his eyes. With a huff, Izzy left Edward alone and joined Stede and Maggie to the table where the two of them were already having a conversation about a map.
****
PRESENT DAY…
Maggie was out of the Fog, but her heart was beating furiously inside her ribcage. Breathing was hard and she was desperately trying to focus but her brain wasn’t cooperating.
Izzy was sitting next to her on his bed, he didn’t dare to touch her but there was concern in his eyes.
“Do you want some chamomile?” he asked; Bonnet had all sorts of herbs in his kitchen and something to calm her nerves could actually be useful.
Maggie weakly shook her head. “No, I just need a minute, but thanks.” She stayed quiet for a while, and when she spoke again, her voice was a little firmer. “I should probably warn you, Foggy Days have started to become more like Foggy Weeks… I just keep coming in and out of it.”
“Since when?” almost four years had passed since the last time he had seen her, and her condition, for lack of better terminology, wasn’t this bad.
Maggie shrugged. “I’ve had a tough year. But I’ve drawn the map when I was in the Fog. So, I’ll take it as a victory.”
“Is this the reason why you can’t read it? You drew the map while your mind was completely fucked up?”
“On the contrary, my mind is absolutely free when I’m in the Fog. I can hear and see things… therefore I know the map is genuine.” Izzy had a sceptical look on his face, Maggie lowered her eyes. “You don’t believe me.”
“I believe you believe in this nonsense.” He clenched his fists, trying to stay calm. “I believe you when you say there’s an island, but it’s hard for me to believe you when you say a map you drew while being half-unconscious will lead us there. You’re not able to discern a crewmember from an enemy when you’re in the Fog, Maggie.”
“It’s the only lead I’ve found in years…”
“And you’ve made it yourself. You’re chasing after an illusion. You don’t even know if your sister is still alive, let alone if she’s still on that island. You’re going to get yourself hurt, again. This time you’ve managed to involve all of us in the process.” Izzy was starting to raise his voice again, unable to control his temper.
Maggie got up from the bed with anger sparkling in her eyes; she pointed her finger at his chest. “Don’t you dare use that tone with me, Israel Hands. I am still your wife, whether you like it or not, and you know how important this is to me!”
Izzy lowered his eyes, mortified, and clenched his fists again. “I’m sorry.” He said, and then he tried again, only to be cut off immediately, “I was only-”
“Silence!” that very much sounded like an order.
He obeyed, closing his mouth for good and she sighed with relief. No more objections, at last.
“May I have a hug?” she asked, with a smile that looked a bit too genuine to be a fake one.
That question startled Izzy more than it should have. She was clearly trying to divert the argument, but Izzy hadn’t been hugged in so long and a hug sounded pretty fucking nice.
Maggie sat down again, next to him, and reached out to him with both of her arms. All Izzy had to do was leaning into her embrace, placing his head on her shoulder.
“Relax, Izzy, I feel like I’m hugging a log.” Maggie was tracing patterns on his back with a one hand and caressing his hair with the other, using her short nails to scratch his scalp. Slowly, Izzy started to melt in response. “Good boy. See? We still get along.”
He had his eyes closed and his head had somehow moved to her chest when the door of his cabin opened without any warning. “Izzy! Maggie! We have- oops. Sorry!” Edward seemed a little embarrassed as Maggie let Izzy go. Izzy was red in the face and embarrassed, she was stoic and unbothered. Edward continued, as if nothing happened. “Come on. Mr. Buttons’ found a way to get to the island.”
Maggie’s heart skipped a beat; she was onto her feet in a second and the moment after she had already left the room.
Once alone in Izzy’s cabin, Edward shared an apologetic look with his first mate. “Sorry…”
Izzy wasn’t sure about the nature of his Captain’s apology, but he nodded his head and waited for him to leave the room. He needed a minute to recollect himself before he could join the others on deck.
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lesbianrobin · 2 years
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When nancy wheeler says "i cant control the weather" whos the jackie in the situation?
Actually it could be anybody..
will: brrr i'm cold
jonathan: aw here bud take my jacket
mike: i'm cold too
nancy: well damn mike i can't control the weather
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hotdamnhunnam · 4 years
Text
Teller What She Wants to Hear
A/N: So the idea behind this shameless piece of smut is that Jax Teller is a sex god who can straight up get you off with just the power of his dirty talk... because if anybody can, we know it’s THIS god of a man.
Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk, dom!Jax, teasing you in front of other men (but no actual sex in front of them), light choking, Jax getting you off at work (because hell yes office sex)
Word Count: ~1.9k
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First time Jax Teller called you ‘bitch’ in bed, you practically exploded.
And he noticed. Noticed right away that being called his bitch had made your pussy twitch. That even just the slightest hint of dominance and degradation, coming from him, seemed to scratch your every itch.
“Well, damn...” his tongue flicked in a devilish dance across his luscious lips as he watched your eyes flutter in bliss, body trembling to death beneath his. “You really fucking like that, huh? You like being my dirty little slut?”
Holy shit. Too turned on to speak, needy and weak, you just spastically nodded. This man made you so goddamn desperate. So wet. You just tried not to drown in the flood. In that instant you knew you were born to be nothing but his fucking slut.
You came harder that night than you ever had, moaning like mad, while Jax kept up a mind-blowing stream of obscene dirty talk, as he ravaged your holes with his raging hard cock. Take it, whore. This what you want? This what you fucking live for? Taking this big dick so good in that tight little cunt? Fuck yeah, just like this. Scream for me, bitch. You want more? Want me to cum deep inside this sweet pussy or fill up that hot fucking mouth of yours? With each vigorous thrust of his hips Jax would press his lips closer against your ear, just to make sure you could hear, over your uncontrollable screams. Words straight out of your wildest dreams.
And the dream hasn’t ended, since then. Turns out your badass biker boyfriend is a literal god among men. Now he knows what his dirty words do, the sheer power that one filthy whisper can have over you, he gets off on exerting that power again and again and again.
Sometimes the cocky son of a bitch even dares to talk dirty to you in public, right in front of his club and his friends—working his wicked magic, teasing you about just how desperate you are for his big fucking dick, while the whole damn room watches and listens. You’d acted as if you were pissed off about it, the first time it happened. You weren’t. Loved it more than you liked to admit, but Jax knew it, and there was no need to pretend.
It went without saying that all the Sons respected you a ton, given your status as SAMCRO’s reigning First Lady, basically. But respect didn’t mean that they couldn’t indulge in a bit of fun, seeing you fall to pieces at the hands of the President. Sighing and shivering just from the force of the smutty words he murmured into your ear.
“Aye, Jackie Boy!” Chibs would cheer, spurring Jax on as you’d come undone just from the sound of your man’s painfully sexy voice. “Go on and give it to ‘er good, son. Tell ‘er what she wants to hear.”
It’s gotten to the point where Jax’s dirty talk can fuck you up more deeply and completely than his cock. Which is saying a lot, ‘cause that cock never fails to hit all of your spots.
But the pure fucking porn that pours out of that damn sinful mouth he’s got... God, you might fall apart just at the thought. 
Which would be inconvenient, because you're at work right this moment. Stuck in the office late after a long exhausting day. Jax usually swings by at lunch for a much-needed lay, but some serious club business kept him away, and your pussy is aching and empty and super not fucking okay.
All you have are your thoughts of him sending you into a trance.
So you decide to walk the hallways for a minute just to stretch your legs, to try and take your mind off sex; can’t help but wonder if your boss or your friends in the office would notice if you slipped a hand in your pants...
That’s when you feel his telltale presence: the real boss of your ass, coming up from behind you now all of a sudden and casually taking that ass in his dominant grasp. 
“Whatcha doin’ there, darlin’?” he asks, and already the sound of his low raspy voice in your ear has your toes curling. Only Jax Teller can make darlin’ sound like a foul thing dripping with sin.
“Jax...!” you gasp, swiftly turning to face him, so desperate to feel him and taste him, smiling while he traces your lips with his thumb. “I was just—um...”
He goes ahead and finishes the sentence for you as his deep blue eyes explore you. “Looks like you were thinking how badly you needed to cum.”
Fucking hell. Of course he could tell; Teller knows you so well. “You’re not wrong...”
“Never am,” he gloats—all too true—dropping one hand to caress your throat, knowing how badly you long to be choked, while his other hand slides toward the crotch of your pants. “But damn, Y/N, that’d be a very naughty thing to do. Even for a bad little bitch like you.”
You’re so horny right now that you don’t even care who might turn down the hallway and witness you two in plain view. Getting fired would be fucking worth it, to give in to this burning thirst. Need him so bad it hurts. “Naughty?” you innocently bite your bottom lip as you repeat the word. “What, getting off at work? You know it wouldn’t be the first...”
“Not that,” Jax cuts you off, voice gravelly and gruff. “Getting off without me. Without fucking permission. But you knew that already, hun—betcha just wanted to piss me off. Didn’t you. Damn disobedient slut.”
Ohhh God...
“Tell you what,” he grunts, using one of his fists to pin your hands against the wall above your head, the other reaching down to grope your cunt, throbbing and dripping wet. “I’ll give you one minute. That’s all your gonna get. You’re gonna rub that pussy up against my fist, pretending it’s my dick, and see if you can get yourself off just like this. 'Cause you’re a desperate little bitch who wants to get it in the middle of the fucking office. Better make it quick.”
Hoooly... fucking...
“Mmm, that’s it,” Jax goads you on, smirking in savage satisfaction as you grind your soaking heat against the blunt heel of his palm. “Look at you, fucking loving this. You kinky piece of shit.”
And then the cruel sadistic bastard shifts his hand off of your crotch, as if it wasn’t hard enough as is, to finish in a minute. Spends a few seconds groping at your tits—which definitely helps—but then the rest you’re gonna have to do yourself. Just from the sheer sound of him growling in your ear, the tightness of his grip upon your wrists, the way he finally clamps his other hand around your neck and chokes you with his ruthless fist, surrounds and drowns you in that dizzying distinctive smell of cigarettes and leather and of Jackson Fucking Teller. He knows his power feeds your pleasure. You are his, now and forever.
“You gonna cum?” he teases, pressing harder in your pulse point with his thumb. “You gonna cum for me, you dirty whore? Squirt all over the office floor?”
Yes sir. Yes sir. Can’t even breathe to tell the answer.
“Ten more seconds,” he mercilessly taunts. “Go on, you filthy fucking cunt. You know you live to give me what I want.”
Jesus Christ. There are no words left to describe what’s happening between your thighs. What little remains of your sanity, dignity, splutters and dies.
“That’s right. Cum for me. Cum for me...” Jax leans in even closer to your ear, huffing out the one word that you need to hear. Right fucking here. The word that started all of this, the word that never fails to ruin you completely: “... bitch.”
And you cum on the fucking instant, honestly harder than anyone should be able to cum. Let alone from without being touched. How is it even physically possible that you just had an orgasm? How dare this motherfucker just exist and effortlessly own your ass like this? But holy fucking fuck, you love it so damn much...
You have no sense of what exactly happens in the next few seconds; your whole body and soul have gone numb. Apparently Jax carried you quickly into the nearest bathroom, to clean you right up. You come back to your senses to find that he’s kissing you softly and sweetly, denying your pleas to get down on your knees ‘cause you’re dying to give him a blowjob. You can see clearly through his dark jeans that he’s hard as a rock, and you’re desperate to suck him clean, drain every drop of cum from his big beautiful cock...
“Maybe after we get home,” he says, as he finishes mopping up the mess of your explosive pussy juices. He strips off his leather kutte—no doubt he plans to take his flannel off next so that you can wear it as a makeshift dress, since your own pants are drenched and totally fucked over. He’s such a cruel master yet such a caring lover. “Babe, you need some more time to recover from how hard I just made you cum.”
“How hard you just made me...?!” you exclaim in protest, playfully punching him in the chest. “Pretty sure you had me doing all the work. Don’t be a fucking jerk.”
Jax flashes you a cheeky smirk, broad shoulders lifting in a shrug, and throws his hands up. “Okay. Whatever you say, bitch.”
And there it goes—that word still hits you hard from head to toe, though nowhere more so than your cunt. There’s only one way that your poor pussy knows to respond. Twitch.
At that, you hear him fucking chuckle as your knees buckle. You scowl at him; that twitch was almost more than you could take after your orgasm. Almost. The kinky slut inside you likes it, though. “Well, shit...”
Still laughing just a bit, Jax strokes your shoulder tenderly, blessing your forehead with a pure innocent kiss. “Yeah, I guess the B-word is off-limits. At least for a few minutes.”
“Or...” you cut in, lustfully licking your lips, “...well, I mean, now that you started this—we could just... maybe go at it again?”
He pauses for a second, smiling as he reaches to cradle your face in his hands. For some reason the silliest, filthiest moments are most often when his heart opens. You love when that happens. 
“God, I fucking love you, Y/N,” he murmurs and means it, more than you’ll ever understand. Jax Teller fucks you like he owns you, knows it’s true—and yet deep down, in all the ways that count, you own him too. Both know his heart is yours.
“I love you more,” you answer, though your love is not the only reason why your heart has started beating faster. Now is not the time for sweet talk to distract; you’ll have to whip out some of your own dirty talk to get this sexy bastard back on track... “Now call me bitch again and shove me up against the bathroom door. Need you to fill me with that cock and fucking fuck me like I’m nothing but your filthy little whore.”
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***************
Thank you for reading!! ❤️ First few days on tumblr and I’m already a total whore for reblogs/comments/likes... knowing folks enjoy the filthy fantasies I write is really nice ☺️
UPDATE: In case there’s any interest – I’ve now posted more fics and started a Masterlist and a Tag List – Join Here!*
*If you’re unable to use that link to join the tag list, just let me know and I’ll manually add you to it!
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elianamarie-blog · 3 years
Text
The Things You Give Pt 12
zSteven Hyde x Reader
Thank you all for being so patient! I’m so happy you guys are enjoying the story :) 
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Y/N sat in her room, crying on Hyde’s shoulder.
“Hey, doll, it’s okay,” he soothed, rubbing her back and caressing her hair. “He’ll get over it and we’ll all go back to being friends.”
“That’s not the only reason,” she whined and leaned back, showing him her big, puffy eyes. “I feel like our bond is destroyed.”
“It’s not, man,” he responded and tucked some hair behind her ear, stroking her face. “Look, Eric is just pissed off right now. Give him a couple days to cool off and he’ll come around.”
“No, you don’t get it. He’s never been this mad at me before. We’ve always been okay after a few hours, but not this long. I feel like I ruined it.”
“He’s your brother,” he said. “He loves you and he can’t stay mad at you long. It’ll be okay, I promise.”
Y/N pouted and nodded, tears resurfacing. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asked, chuckling.
“For getting you in this mess.”
“Hey, don’t think that,” he said sternly. “I got us in this mess as much as you. It’s not just your fault.”
She sniffed. “Why is it that our happiness only matters when everyone else approves?”
He sighed, holding her tight. “I don’t know, Doll.”
She hummed and fell silent, thinking about how she could fix this.
                                   ⧝⧝⧝
           “So, how’s the baby?” Jackie asked Kelso as they all sat in the basement. This time, Eric joined them but was he was extremely and eerily quiet. Y/N sat on the floor, situated between Hyde’s legs as he sat in his usual chair. Eric sat on the opposite side of the room, not bothering to glance at the couple.
           “She’s doing good,” Kelso beamed. “She’s so cute like me, but also beautiful like Brooke.”
           “Oh, that is so cute!” Y/N gushed. “When can we meet her?”
           “Probably not for another month or so,” Kelso pouted. “Brooke doesn’t want her near other people right now because of cold and flu season. I even offered to give her some orange juice because my mom always gives me it when I’m sick and she got mad at me!”
           “Kelso, you can’t give a baby orange juice,” Donna said casually.
           “Yeah, huh,” he replied, sucking on a popsicle. “If she can handle milk, she should be able to handle orange juice.”
           “Yes, it’s probably best to have Brooke make all the parenting decisions,” Fez said.
           “But, I’m her daddy,” he said sadly. “I just want her to know that I’m smart and love her too.”
           “Awe, Kelso,” Y/N cooed. “Of course, she’s going to know that. She’s going to look up to you and when she’s older, she’s going to think you’re her hero. I know I do with my dad.”
           “Don’t lie to the guy,” Hyde said without looking away from the tv. “She’s going to be doing dumb stuff with him too. Probably be the brains behind it all and watch him get hurt.”
           For a minute Kelso looked offended but then smiled and laughed. “Yeah, that’s probably true.”
           “You’re going to be great. Don’t worry,” Y/N said.
           “Don’t flatter him,” Hyde said, but with a smirk.
           “Why?” Eric piped up. “You afraid that she’ll date him too?”
           “Really?” Y/N asked, annoyed. “You’re going to do this now?”
           “I just don’t understand how anyone of you can sit here and think this is okay. Or normal,” Eric replied without looking up.
           “Forman, man, will you shut up?” Hyde said. “It’s been two days.”
            “I know you’re still mad at us, but your snide remarks aren’t welcome,” Y/N quipped.
           “I’m not welcome?” Eric asked, angrily.
           “No, dumbass that’s not what I’m—”
           “No, I know what you’re saying,” he said darkly. “You know what? You’re not welcome.”
            Y/N rolled her eyes at him; completely done with his dramatics. “Don’t be stupid, Eric.”
           “No, you and him aren’t welcome.”
           “I live here too, you moron,” Hyde said. “Where do you expect us to go?”
           “Anywhere but here,” Eric replied, staring daggers at the couple. “I don’t care as long as I don’t have to see you.”
           “Yeah? And what’re you going to do? Force us out?” Hyde pushed. “A spaghetti noodle is stronger than you!”
           “If I tell Red you will,” Eric said, setting his jaw. “I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’m okay with this.”
           “Eric, shut up,” Donna said. “You’re being an ass.”
           “You’re blackmailing us?” Y/N asked, making a face.
           “Damn right. Either you leave or Dad finds out.”
           “You tell Dad and I’ll tell him about your trip to the jail cell!”
           “But this is an abomination!” Eric squeaked. “Sinful, disgusting, horrible!”
           “You done?” Hyde asked, annoyed.
           “I’m not doing this in front of everyone,” Y/N said. “I just want to hang out with our friends without arguing.”
           “No, I want you guys out of here,” he said. “Out of this group. You don’t get to be a part of it if you’re going to split it up.”
           “How are we splitting it up?!” Y/N shouted, getting angry. “This isn’t West Side Story.”
           “Stop, Eric!” Donna said, standing up. “Just because you don’t want them here doesn’t mean we don’t.”
           “Thank you, Donna,” Y/N said.
           “What the hell? You’re on their side?” Eric asked, raising his voice.
           “Yes, I am!” she shouted back. “Why shouldn’t I be? They’re our friends and if you’d open your eyes, you’d see that they’re really happy.”
           “I don’t care if they’re happy!” he shouted.
           “How can you say that?” Fez asked. “You selfish son of a bitch.”
           “How am I supposed to be happy when I had to hear you describe how my sister is in bed?!”
           “I don’t care what you say. It was hilarious,” Hyde said.
           “See? How can I care when you two obviously do not?” Eric shouted.
           “At least you heard about it,” Donna argued. “I saw it.”
           “Ew!” Eric shouted, covering his ears.
           “Alright!” Kelso shouted happily. “How were Y/N’s boobs?”
           “Shut up, Kelso!” Eric, Y/N, Hyde, and Donna said un unison.
           “I can’t and I won’t ever accept it,” Eric spat.
           “Well, it’s a good thing we’re not dating to impress you,” Hyde snorted.
           A sudden weight had dropped itself on Y/N’s chest. Her heart felt like it was barley holding up it’s own weight. “So, what are you saying? You want us to break up?”
           Eric didn’t respond, but stare at the ground harshly. He knew if he said it, he would be labeled the king of jackasses of all eternity.
           “You really are a selfish son of a bitch,” Y/N said and stomped out of the basement.
           “What the hell is wrong with you?” Hyde asked him. “Why do you have to be such a dillhole?”
           “I’m the dillhole?!” Eric asked, surprised. “How am I the dillhole when you’re the one who lied to me while screwing my sister?!” He gagged at the thought and thickly swallowed. “Unpleasant.”
           “Well, you know what, Forman? Get the hell over it. You always say that she deserves someone who is good for her. And you know what? That’s what I am.”
           “No, you’re not!” Eric shouted, silencing the whole room, including Hyde himself. The look on Hyde’s face made Eric break his gaze and turn around, rubbing his neck.
           Hyde stood there in complete shock as pain flooded through his chest. But it was quickly replaced with anger. Donna looked at her boyfriend with absolute disgust. Everyone else looked at each other with wide eyes and jaws dropped.
           Hyde didn’t know what to say, except for a harsh, “What?”
           “I didn’t stutter, did I?”
           Hyde’s breathing became labored and all he could do was stay frozen in place.
           “You’re not good enough for her,” Eric continued calmly and darkly. “She is going places. The only place you’re going to is prison.”
           “Eric!” Donna shouted. “That’s enough!”
           “So, that’s what you really think of me,” Hyde stated as fact instead of a question. “This whole time you’re supposed to be my friend, all you’ve thought about me is not doing anything with my life.”
           “Look at how your life has turned out so far!” Eric continued. “You’ve already been to jail multiple times, all you do is smoke, and not once have I heard what you plan on doing with your life besides staying a burnout. That’s no life for my sister.” He daringly stepped closer to Hyde and pointed a finger at him. “And don’t you dare tell me how to be a friend. Friends don’t do this.”
           All Hyde could do was glare at the guy in front of him with clenched fists. He wanted to punch him so bad, but he knew it would only make the situation worse.
           “Eric, please tell me,” Donna piped up after a minute of silence. “What makes this any different than what Kelso was doing to Laurie?”
           “That’s different!” he answered. “Laurie is just a whore who ended up cheating on him anyway. Y/N…Y/N’s different. She actually feels and cares about the people in her life. And I’m not going to standby and watch you hurt her!”
           “And what makes you think Hyde is going to hurt her?” Donna pressed.
           “Because he’s done it to other girls! Including Jackie!”
           “Hey, don’t bring my name into this,” Jackie responded sassily. “And for the record, I broke up with him. No one dumps Jackie Burkhart.”
           “I don’t care how happy she makes you,” Eric continued, ignoring her. “Because sooner or later, you’re going to get bored of her and leave her hanging. Just like the other girls.”
           Hyde clenched his jaw, keeping his burning stare on Eric. “Go to hell, Forman!” he shouted. “You don’t know jack. At least I’m not the one who bailed after I asked her to marry me.”
           “Don’t you dare bring that up!” Eric yelled at Hyde, his voice deepening. “This isn’t about me!”
           “Now I’m making it about you!” Hyde yelled back. “You’re sitting here lecturing me about bailing and hurting Y/N when you couldn’t even do the same for Donna!” As he was shouting at Eric, spit had flown out of his mouth. “So, shut the hell up before I shut it up for you!”
           “I’m not the one dating my best friend’s sister!”
           “You’re still not better than me!” Hyde shouted back. “I would never do that to Y/N! I’ve never felt this way about anybody before and I refuse to let you stand in the way of that!”
           “No!” Eric was huffing and puffing at this point. “I’ve stood by long enough letting you guys do whatever the hell you wanted! You’ve burned me, both physically and verbally, melted my freaking G.I Joes, gotten me in trouble with Red more times than I can count, and even let me sit in a freaking jail cell with no pants because everyone let me take the fall. This is where I cross the damn line.”
           “First of all, I ended up in that same jail cell after trenching old man Jenkin’s yard to make it up to you,” Hyde countered. “And second of all, I’ve always been there for you through every dumbass thing you caused or that happened to you. I’ve had to look after you all these years just to make sure you didn’t get your ass kicked.”
           “I never asked for any of that,” Eric responded, setting his jaw and crossing his arms.
           Hyde felt like he had been punched in the gut. He had spent years looking after Eric as he would if he were his own brother and for what? For Eric to throw it in his face? Hyde now felt like he had wasted so much time.
           “You know what? I’m outta here,” he said and stomped towards the door.
           “Good!” Eric shouted after him. “Go ahead! It proves to me what you’re good at: running away!”
           “If you’d like to keep your teeth, I’d suggest you’d shut the hell up!” Hyde shouted, veins popping out of his neck. “Consider this friendship over.” With that he slammed the door shut, causing the door hinges to rattle.
           Everyone stared at Eric with dropped jaws and disappointed, furrowed looks. Except for Donna. Only fire and fury burned in her eyes.
           Eric sighed and turned to her. “Look, Donna, I—”
           “Save it,” she said curtly. “I don’t want to hear it.”
           “But, I—” he tried to defend himself, but Donna cut him off once again.
           “I don’t care what your excuse is!” she snapped, raising her voice. “You’ve done a lot of stupid and messed up things and made yourself look like an ass, but this one tops it off. You were such a jackass that you made Kelso look like a saint!”
           “You know what? You’d be pissed too if you had a sister and Hyde was nailing her,” he defended.
           “Maybe, but I wouldn’t have reacted the way you did,” she replied. “I don’t care what is going on between them, the way you treated them was way out of line. And I can’t even look at you right now!”
           “Yeah, Eric,” Fez said and stood from his seat. “You kick them out of the group, but we still want them here. If anything, you should be the one to leave.”
           “Fez! What the hell?” Eric asked with his arms open and eyes wide. “How can you be on their side?”
           “Because they’re happy,” Fez answered with his cute and innocent self. “And they’re good together.”
           “Why does everyone keep saying that?!” Eric shouted.
           “Because it’s true, you walnut!” Donna practically screamed. “I can’t believe how unbelievably dumb and selfish you’re being! This isn’t even about you! In fact, it’s about them and if you’re going to keep acting this way, I don’t want to be near you.”
           “Does everyone feel this way?” he asked, exasperated.
           “Yeah, pretty much,” Jackie answered, nodding along with Kelso.
           “Well, that’s just great!” Eric shouted. “Then all of you can get out too.”
           “Gladly!” Donna shouted and stormed out.
           “See ya,” Jackie said, skipping out.
           “Dude…” Kelso trailed off, shaking his head and sulked out the basement.
           “Sorry, Eric,” Fez said and laid a hand on his shoulder. “If you weren’t such a jerk, you’d still have all your friends here. But now, you’re all alone.”
           “Yeah, yeah,” Eric said, brushing off his hand. “See ya later.”
           Fez frowned. “If you’d see past your anger, maybe you can see how happy they are and actually feel something towards each other. I wouldn’t call that a bad thing.”
           With that being said, Fez walked out the basement, gently shutting the door, leaving a seething Eric standing alone.
           “I heard yelling,” Kitty said concerned as she came down the stairs.
           “Yeah, there was,” Eric sighed and rubbed a hand down his face.
           “What happened this time?”
           “Y/N and Hyde are—” he stopped himself before he could cause any further collateral damage.
           Kitty stared at him confused. “Y/N and Steven are what, honey?”
           Eric sighed again, rubbing his neck and tried to keep his voice steady. “They are the most annoying people on the planet.”
           “Why’s that?”
           “Because they…” he couldn’t think of anything good to say on the spot, so he improvised the best he could. “They stole and broke my G.I Joes.”
           “And you’re yelling over that?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.
           “Yeah…it was my favorite ones.”
           “Oh, honey, you can always go buy more,” she said, turning her back on him to head back up the stairs. “But I’ll talk to them.”
           She swayed back upstairs, leaving Eric completely alone. After she was out of sight, he collapsed onto the couch feeling completely spent. Why had he lied to Kitty about what they were fighting about? Why did he cover for them when he so badly wanted to tell her the truth?
           He slumped back into the cushions of the couch, sighing once again, but this time he didn’t have anything else to say. He was alone and he knew he had messed up.
                                                 --Time Skip—
           “So, you ended the friendship?” Y/N asked Steven, playing with his fingers. They sat at the Hub, waiting for everyone else to show up.
           Hyde sighed heavily and ran a hand through his curls. “Yeah, I did.”
           “Because of me,” Y/N whispered and looked away, letting out a shaky breath. She felt a heaviness settle in her stomach. Like an anvil had made its way inside. “Oh God, I’m so sorry Steven.”
           “No, no,” he replied and grabbed her hands, holding them firmly. “Don’t say that. It maybe about you, but I didn’t end the friendship because of you. I ended it because of him.”
           “But none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t gotten in the way,” she whimpered. “I broke up a lifelong friendship.”
           “Hey, Y/N look at me,” he said and cupped her cheek. Her watery eyes met his. “Yeah, this sucks, but if I had to choose between being with you and keeping my friendship with your dillhole brother, I’d choose you. A thousand times over.”
           “But I’m not worth it,” she said, a stray tear escaping down her cheek. “I never meant for this to blow up the way it did. Maybe this was a mistake.”
           “You really feel that way?” Hyde asked, a sharp pain stabbing him in the chest. “Is that what you want?”
           “Of course not, but it’s caused so much damage to the group. We can’t even hang out anymore.”
           “If it wasn’t for Eric’s blow up, we’d all still be in the basement hanging out right now,” Hyde responded, ignoring the pain he was feeling. “The only person causing this is him.”
           “But it wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t hooked up!”
Hyde sighed through his nose. “Look, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I’m not going to let it go just because some idiot wants me to. Only if you want me to.” He tilted her chin to make her look at him. “Do you want me to?”
           She was quiet for a moment, looking in his intense blue eyes. She could see the hope and fear that lay within and knew she couldn’t leave him; because she felt the same. She couldn’t ignore her pounding heart when she was near him, or the butterflies that would erupt in her stomach when he would say something sweet to her; like he is now. Or that settling safety that she felt when he had his arm around her.
Before, she felt a timer with Zack and any other guy she may had dated. She knew her time with them wouldn’t last and that timer continued to tick until their time was up. That is until she ended up with Steven. The timer had stopped and gone silent, and she knew he was going to stay. For the first time, she felt at peace and warmed by him. He was her home as she was his.
Y/N swallowed thickly before shaking her head. “No. No I don’t.” She gave him a small smile and his muscles relaxed, a smile reaching his eyes. “I choose you a thousand times over.”
           He smiled at her and grabbed her face gently between his hands. “Yeah, baby, a thousand times over.”
           As he leaned in to kiss her, a loud “Aweeee!” came from behind them.
            Y/N and Steven turned their heads to look at the group standing there, large grins plastered on their faces.
           “No, no, go on. Go ahead and kiss her,” Donna gushed and laughed, sitting at the table.
           Hyde and Y/N pulled away from each other and leaned back. “Moment ruined,” she commented.
           “How long were you guys standing there?” Hyde asked nervously.
           “Not long,” Donna responded and smirked at him. “’Baby.’”
           “I choose you a thousand times over,” Kelso mocked and started making kissy faces at Fez.
           “Man, what the hell are you doing?” Hyde asked.
           “I don’t know, but it’s funny,” Kelso responded and continued doing it.
            Y/N chuckled and shoved Kelso, making him laugh. “So, Fez, where’s Caroline? Haven’t seen her around.”
           “You probably scared her off,” Jackie laughed. “Finally someone who is crazier than her.”
           “Yeah, but she uses it for good,” Hyde said, smiling.
           “Actually, I broke up with her,” Fez replied. “She tried to stab me again.”
           “Wait, again?” Y/N asked. “What do you mean by ‘again’?”
           “Well, she tried to stab me once before and I told her that a man can only take so much,” he replied. “So, after the fourth or fifth time, I finally left.”
           The group looked at each other concerned while Y/N fumed. “I’m gonna go find her.” She stood from her chair, but Hyde quickly grabbed her hand.
           “No need,” Fez replied calmly, a smug look painting his handsome face, watching as Y/N sat back down. “I put her back in the mental ward.”
           “How did you do that?” Hyde asked.
           “I called the police, duh,” he responded.
           “How did all this happen and not any of us know?” Donna asked concerned.
           “Well, I didn’t get the chance with the whole Y/N, Hyde, and Eric dramatics.”
           “What the hell?” Y/Nasked, furrowing her brows. “Fez this is much more important than our petty drama. You should’ve told us!”
           “Thanks Y/N,” he responded sweetly. “I like you better than Eric.”
            Y/N chuckled and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Everybody does.”
           The gang chuckled before turning their attention to Hyde.
           “So, Steven where are you going to live now that you and Eric aren’t friends anymore?” Jackie asked.
           “I honestly don’t know,” Hyde answered. “I was thinking maybe I could get a few more days over there. Gives me enough time to come up with an excuse.”
           “You can stay with me,” Kelso offered. “My brothers are out of the house and we have an extra bedroom.”
           “Thanks Kelso,” Hyde said and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll have to think about that one. I don’t need to be near a crying baby.”
           “She doesn’t cry,” Kelso defended. “She just mainly sleeps and eat.”
           “Well, to be fair, you only have her for a few hours a couple nights a week,” Jackie said.
           “In my country, babies are a huge symbol of good luck and fortune,” Fez commented.
           “Why’s that?” Donna asked.
           Fez shrugged. “I never understood that part. I guess it appeases the gods or some crap like that. Fertile and continuing of our kind. But I always thought that was a bunch of bull hockey. Babies are loud and needy.”
           “They’re babies Fez,” Jackie said. “They can’t take care of themselves.”
           “Eh,” he replied. “They’re still nuisances.”
           “So, if we were to stay together and we had a baby, that’s what you would think of that?”
           “I don’t know. You never gave us a chance to find out,” he responded bitterly.
           “Oooh,” Hyde said under his breath while everyone backed away from the table.
           “You can’t be serious,” Jackie argued. “We broke up three weeks ago. And in that time, you brought home another girl.”
           “Oh, and like you haven’t?!” Fez asked.
           Hyde closed his eyes, lips tight, trying not to laugh at his friend’s poor choice of words. Y/N shook her head and Donna covered her mouth with her hand, trying to contain her giggles. Kelso was already dreaming of Jackie and some other girl getting it on.
           Jackie’s face scrunched up in confusion. “No, Fez. I haven’t brought anyone home. C’mon, can we have a decent conversation like adults?”
           “No,” he said, frowning at her. “You hurt me like when a child gets his langamigna taken away from him.”
           “When a child gets what taken from him?” Hyde asked.
           “Lollipop in my language,” he answers and turns his glare back to Jackie.
           “I’m sorry, Fez,” Jackie said. “Look, I want us to be friends again.”
           Fez looked at everyone and as if they got the hint, they all got up, leaving them two alone.
           “What do you want me to say?” he asked her, leaning back against the chair and shoved his hands in his pockets. “You want me to accept your apology and have us go back to normal? Like you never ripped my heart out to begin with?”
           “Well, no, not exactly,” she responded and scooted closer to him. “I was hoping we could work on becoming friends again.”
           Fez glared at her with tears beginning to well in his eyes. “How can I be just your friend when I was so in love with you and still am?”
           Jackie looked down at her lap and sniffed. “I know, I do too. But we should still try.”
           Fez leaned forward and grabbed her hands, anger completely dissipated. “Then what’s stopping us? Didn’t you always say that love conquers all?”
           Jackie looked up into his deep, dark eyes; completely melting into them. Her lip quivered as she spoke. “This time love isn’t enough,” she whispered.
           A single tear slipped down Fez’s cheek and he quickly retracted his hands from hers and quickly wiped at his face. “Why?” he asked. “Why isn’t our love enough?”
           “Because we’re not right for each other,” she whimpered.
           From a few feet away, the gang was listening in with sad faces. Y/N leaned into Hyde, him throwing an arm around her and pulled her close. Donna leaned against the window with crossed arms, looking at the floor, and Kelso squeezing her shoulder.
           “What do you mean it’s not enough?”
           Jackie shook her head, barley containing her tears. “We’re just not right for each other. I see it, you see it, even the group sees it. We just never matched the way a couple should.”
           “I’ve always loved you,” he whispered, looking down at the floor.
           She reached over and cupped his cheek. “I know.” She smiled sadly at him and met his eyes. “And I will always love you.”
           Fez looked at her before leaning in to give her one last, loving kiss. Jackie melted into the kiss, tears streaming faster down her face. She brought her hands up to his face as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer to him.
           When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers. “We could’ve been great, you know.”
           “But we weren’t,” she breathed.
           Fez nodded his head and pulled away. “I know.”
           “But, you showed me what it felt like to be loved and appreciated and that’s all I ever wanted,” Jackie said, trying to lift the mood. “I didn’t have to worry if you were out with other girls or going to run away. Thank you for showing me what I deserve.”
           “Thank you for loving me despite being the weird one of the group,” Fez laughed half heartedly.
           “I call it eccentric,” Jackie giggled sadly. “You deserve someone who will love every part of you. The good, the bad, and the weird. You deserve to have real chemistry with someone. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be her. But she’ll come along and you’ll forget all about me.”
           Fez gave her a sad smile. “I could never forget you.”
           “You’re right, you can’t,” Jackie chuckled. “No man can.”
           They laughed softly together and stared into each other eyes.
           “I love you, Jackie.”
           “I love you, too, Fez.”
           They stood and reached over, enveloping each other in their arms, holding tight.
           “Are we…are we okay?” Jackie asked once they pulled apart.
           “Yes,” Fez said and brushed some hair off her shoulder. “We are. I need you in my life. Whether it’s as a friend or my girlfriend, I still need you.”
           “And I need you.”
           They smiled at each other for a minute before Fez looked at his watch. He sighed and clapped his hands together. “I, uh, I better get going. I have to go do something with my host parents.”
           Jackie nodded. “Sure, sure. See you later?”
           Fez smiled. “Yeah, of course.”
           Jackie returned the smile. “Okay, see you later.”
           “Bye,” Fez said quietly, leaning over and kissing her cheek. He zipped up his jacket and walked out into the crispy fall air of Point Place.
           Tears of sadness and relief welled in Jackie’s eyes as she slumped back down in her chair.
           “Jackie, are you okay?” Y/N asked as the group came back to surround her. She wrapped an arm around Jackie’s shoulders and squeezed.
           “Yeah. I think so,” Jackie said, finally feeling like she could speak the truth about her feelings. “Yeah, yeah I am. It just won’t be the same for a while.”
           “Jackie, no one’s asking for it to be,” Donna murmured to Jackie comfortingly.
           “But I am,” Jackie responded and ran a hand through her hair.
           “We’re here for you, Jackie,” Y/N said and laid her head on Jackie’s shoulders.
           Jackie felt a weight had been lifted off her chest, but now new one, yet lighter one, now rested its way in there. She just wanted things to go back to normal. At least now the worst part of it was over.
           “Yeah, we are,” Hyde said genuinely. “You need anything, you let us know.”
           “Thanks, Steven,” Jackie said glumly, but looked at him confused. “This is unusually nice of you.”
           “I do that a lot actually, yet people are always so surprised,” he chuckled once Jackie’s lips curved into a small smile. “But seriously, man, you’ve been there for me and Y/N during this whole mess. It’s only fair I return the favor.”
           “Well, I didn’t do it to be owed a favor,” she said.
           Hyde smiled kindly at her. “I know.”
           She smiled back at him and wiped at her nose. “Thanks you guys.”
           “You’re welcome, Jackie,” Kelso said. “Hey, if you want to, I can make you feel better if we—”
           “Kelso, I swear to God if you say ‘do it’ I’m going to kick you in the head,” Y/N threatened.
           “I was going to say do circle time! God!” Kelso cried out.
           “Oh,” Y/N responded, surprised. “Yeah, that sounds good, then.”
           “Yeah, I can do that,” Jackie said, standing and grabbing her coat off the back of the chair.
           “Oh good ‘cause after smoke time, we should definitely do it,” Kelso laughed.
           The gang groaned and turned to him.
           “SHUT UP, KELSO!”
Tags: @nicole-prz​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @mdittyz123​
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thenocturnalblossom · 3 years
Text
Viktor: How ya doin', V?
Viergenie: Not very good, Viktor. And getting worse everyday.
Viktor: I'm sorry. Really wish I could do something to help you with this. I feel so damn useless.
Viergenie: Viktor, do not beat yourself up over this. I know you would help me if you could.
Viktor: What about him?
Viergenie: You mean the ghost in my head?
Viktor: Yeah.
Viergenie: I took a few of those omega blockers to keep him at bay.
Viktor: So they're helping?
Viergenie: Yes, but I....
Viktor: What? V, I ain't really the best at this sort of stuff and I know you ain't either but you can talk to me. Anytime.
Viergenie:...
Viergenie: I'm literally losing my mind, Viktor. There's a war going on inside of me and I'm scared that I won't win it.
Viergenie: I feel wrong. Losing myself piece by piece. Scared to even look in the mirror for fear I'll see his reflection and not mine. I hate it.
Viktor: V...
Viergenie: And I'm so tired. I feel like I have aged a thousand years since this all started.
Viergenie: I just want all of this to end. I don't...I don't know how much more I have left in me to keep going.
Viktor: Hey. Hey, listen to me. Don't you dare think about giving up, V. You hear me? You're gonna find a way to get that chip and that asshole out of your head.
Viergenie: Viktor, I...
Viktor: No V. I've lost too many good friends in my lifetime. Jackie was the latest and I'll be damned if I lose you too.
Viktor: So please. Keep fighting. For me...Misty...Jackie. Most importantly, fight for yourself. Regardless of what anybody wants you to do or from you. Especially that shithead rockerboy. Do what's best for you. Fight. I know you can do it.
Viergenie: Ever the boxer, aren't you?
Viktor: Can't help myself. It's in my blood.
Viergenie: I...thank you, Viktor. For everything.
Viktor: Thank me by getting this chip and yourself taken care of. And get the hell of of this city when you get the chance. You deserve to live your life on your own terms.
Viergenie: Okay. Okay.
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project-sour-grapes · 3 years
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My Precious Entitled Career
Despite my “success,” I've come to the realization that how I approach everything is wrong.
I am a professional in tech and an artist. My friends call me patient and hardworking beyond what is expected. In high school, I was one of those never-crack-a-book honors students with a fancy scholarship. However, when I look inward, all of these good fruits seem like an accident.
I was recently let go from a tech company that your average zoomer would know the name of. There was a conflict around compensation that played out over a week or two that escalated into my being terminated. While the decisions I made were kosher with my contract and were built upon advice from other professionals who had been in my shoes, I now consider my approach to be a failure. It's important to note that I don't regret standing up for myself, as that lesson was overdue for separate reasons. However, my mindset throughout the conflict did not serve me any good and I've now seen the severity of my entitlement and self importance through a magnifying glass.
I could detail you the statistics on median pay for my job, my old company, my state, etc. I could state why the situation seemed unjust and why I felt underappreciated and fooled. Maybe it was unfair on paper, and maybe I had the right to be angry, depending on who you ask. But I don't care anymore.
Time has been plentiful for my unemployed self. I have spent it ruminating, walking, and listening to audiobooks, one of which is Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. In one chapter, Holiday details Jackie Robinson's struggles as a black man trying to play professional baseball. If anything was fair on paper, it would have been Jackie Robinson fighting back against the racists (which he did and was arrested for when he was younger). But as a professional, he was encouraged by others to ignore racism and just beat them in games. And he did. He didn’t fight anybody anymore, even though he would have been right to and those idiots would have deserved it. Being a famous baseball player and fully grown adult yet being treated like a non-human or a child is the peak of unfair. But Holiday’s book’s point is that looking past unfairness towards the mission is sometimes necessary to accomplish it.
I'm not saying my life struggle compares to Jackie Robinson's. In fact, that is exactly what I'm not saying. My "unfair" situations pale in comparison to his. He climbed Everest and I'm over here upset about an ant hill. And in some sense, I made that ant hill myself. I mean that if he can experience literal crimes and keep his head up, then I need to shut my damn mouth.
What is the correct approach to my work then? Let's rewind a bit. Full disclosure, my old approach to my life's work was this:
I am going to work myself to death for you, and if you don't give me the world in return, that is a moral failure.
Isn't that a biting statement? There is the entitlement out in the open. I'm not proud to have thought this way at all, and I'm sorry to all of you have had to put up with this mindset from me. But there it is.
Now. Where do we go from here? Well, during my unemployed ruminations over the past few weeks, I came across Dr. Alok Kanojia's (AKA HealthyGamerGG on Youtube) video on motivation, fairness, and how we're not entitled to anything. He talked about how, since life is unfair and unpredictable, we are not entitled to the results of our actions. We don't automatically have the right to the outcome of an action. We only have the actions themselves. Studying doesn’t entitle us to an A+. We are only entitled to the studying itself. That’s the way of the universe. In my old job, I prioritized work above all else. I forewent classes that I ended up failing or dropping. I begged to work overtime. I was, in the words of multiple others, "kicking ass." Then I decided I was entitled to something because of it. And I got angry when that was not satisfied. That is where I went wrong. It is true that I was promised a few things that did not come to fruition. Maybe it was morally acceptable to be angry about unfulfilled promises. But like I said, I’m done caring about that. That's not what it is about anymore.
What is it about is action. All we have in life is our actions. The more I think about what I value, the more I see the emphasis on action.
When we say to live in the present instead of the past or future, we're talking about action, since the present is the only time action can happen
When we roll our eyes at the person who says "I'm the idea guy," we're valuing action
The concept "Show, don't tell" works, because it is about action
Giving your soul to a job/person/thing who didn't even ask for it, then holding out your hand and saying "Gimme" is not about action. It is focused on outcome. Maybe it’s not fair that we can’t expect equal rewards in return for our work all the time. And on paper, it really is. Give X, get X. Seems fair and logical. But for me, for that to be the starting place and the motivation for my work no longer serves me. I’m not saying fairness isn’t a worthy goal or that it is bad. Fairness can be the outcome of a good mission. But it is not required to complete the mission. And it’s not going to be the sole motivator for my decisions, because life is grey and humans can’t always deliver on promises, through no fault of their own. What I'm not going to do anymore is throw my hands up and say, "Sorry, this is unfair so I quit.”
Where this leaves me is that I'm reconsidering my career--not only how I approach the work but the field I chose entirely. In the past, I tried to do biomedical research, but I failed. I have also enrolled and unenrolled in many an EMT class and have taken and failed Biology, Chemistry, and Physics classes repeatedly. This was all because of a hazy dream of being a doctor that has sat in the back of my mind every day. 
I kept trying out this doctor dream, but I would always hit a tiny snag, exaggerate it, and give up. I have gone through about 10 multi-month cycles of this for years. And guess what the snags were:
That professor gave me a B+ instead of an A on a single exam. Pre-med education is inherently unfair, and I'm not putting up with this.
I have to study this bio concept that I probably won't even use if I become a real doctor. That's a waste of my time, so I'd rather fail/drop than learn it.
Doctors have to get up at 5am? That goes against science on sleep schedules, so I'm not going to do it.
How pissy and entitled? Who thinks like that? Me, apparently--or who I hope to be "old me."
How did I get so caught up in what is fair or unfair that I lost sight of the forest for the trees? News flash, self... everything is unfair! Gym is always packed? Unfair. Fighting cancer? Unfair. Some idiot who cares less than you do got picked for the job? Unfair. Hell, the unfairness of life is half the reason why we even get up in the morning. Name a career that isn’t about taking an unfair situation and turning it into a better one. (If you can, maybe don’t do that career.) We do stuff as humans, because it’s unfair. Or the alternative, not doing it, would be unfair. If doctors threw up their hands because disease is unfair, we’d still be fighting polio. I wouldn’t make it one second in caveman times with my old attitude. The hungry lions staring at my caveman camp don’t care what I think is fair.
So here's the mission. We are going to look unfair things in the face and still do them. Despite their unfairness. Despite the fear that something will take more than it gives. Despite the brain saying, "This is inefficient, so let's not do it at all." In fact, it's because of their unfairness that we will do them. Then we can leave them better off for someone else. Or do them better the next time. I am calling this Project Sour Grapes. It starts right now.
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