#damn jason look at that shiner!

[clatterbane]

Farewell, shitty Jason Voorhees cosplay!

And hello... particularly fucked up SFX sclera lens?

(Was actually putting off looking at it until after getting home. Already more than enough to process. They did warn me it was super bloodshot, but I still wasn't quite prepared for...that. It's basically bruised all to hell, as the nurse was saying today. She seemed half-surprised that I didn't have a shiner to go with it. Gruesome enough for the moment, as it is.)

Yeah, at that followup appointment this morning, basically the first thing the nurse did was take that thing off. And thankfully clean up around my eye safely!

Which I was definitely going to ask about, if they hadn't mentioned it straight off the bat. It was feeling really itchy and soggy under there, and finally getting the thing of my face was such a relief. Not to mention wiped off. I'm apparently good to go with a damp cotton pad as long as I don't press hard or, like, squirt shower water straight into Recovering Eyeball for a while. (And pretty obviously keep shampoo, etc. out of it.) Other than that, it should only need the extra-gentle treatment for about a week.

There is definitely more light getting in, for good or otherwise right now. I can make out larger shapes much better, and actually see if somebody is holding a hand up in front of me. The post-surgical blurriness is evidently from the gas, and should gradually start improving over the next few weeks as the gas gets absorbed. With some annoying visual effects developing from the bubble floating around as it shrinks. Doesn't sound like it could be worse to live with than what Haunted Eyeball has been pulling so far, but we'll see.

Don't want to get overly optimistic, but it did indeed sound like I should hopefully be able to get decent vision back in there. Again, we'll have to wait and...see? Pls?

That would be enough of a change with the lens implant and all, that I am definitely going to be needing new glasses ASAP regardless. Again, no idea how long that might take to stabilize enough. Will likely be going around severely lopsided (with the damned migraines! 💀) for at least a couple of months. Which also isn't really sounding like much change from the near-constant varying level migraine situation right now, but hey. Not looking forward to more of this shit--maybe especially after spending years like that for other reasons (celiac deficiencies screwing up my electrolytes), and finally getting that shit mostly stopped for nearly as many years before this started similar up again. 😬

(In other news, I finally got a brainstorm to try some hopefully appropriately tinted clip-on filters, and see if it helps. I know I do seem to be one of the migraine folks sensitive to cooler wavelengths. Rather than going around most of the time inside the house wearing the polarized likewise convertible shades to block some glare. May need to mess with ordering some from Brexit Island and risk Customs hangups, because I could find several suitable-looking FL-41 options there. Where those were apparently developed and the tinted lenses first used for migraine prevention. 🙄 Not much luck from Germany with clip-ons to use with existing glasses specifically, though that's frequently my first choice now. Much bigger country with more stuff available than here in Sweden, inside the Customs union--and, I can still get by well enough in German to even figure out what magic words might work for searches!)

Anyway, that eye was even more nearsighted, etc. going into this whole mess, and however it stabilizes with the new aftermarket lens? That is liable to make me pretty sick and headachy,cgoing around with a pretty strong absolutely wrong prescription in the meantime. Worst case, I guess I can pop that lens out of my existing glasses and see if uncorrected is less awful? But, we'll have to burn that particular bridge when we come to it.

I'm just pretty relieved to even be able to see someone waving their hand on that side now, tbqh.

The less good news: I get to go back tomorrow! 🙃 Not in the already planned like week and a half.

I also got two more kinds of eyedrops to use more temporarily! For a total of five (5)!

The guy who ended up prescribing the new additions actually scribbled down a full list for me to take home, with the dosing schedules laid out.

Yep, including one that's conveniently called for 5 times a day! 😬 The first horribly frequent one is a steroid with a tapering dosing schedule. Guessing that may be why he missed another one of the initial three prescribed yesterday. I'll figure it out from the labels, and alarms will no doubt be set up. Hadn't been needing to use that pill scheduling app since before we moved here, but I guess it's time to reinstall the sucker!

The issue? The pressure in that eye was registering at 32 mmHg, when it should apparently normally be 10-21. Not totally unexpected with the swelling and all--to the point that they wanted me back the next day after surgery mainly to check pressure. Doesn't sound like this is panic-level high, but enough to try and get it down ASAP to recheck tomorrow.

Thus the extra double header of glaucoma drops, to hopefully bring that shit down. And they had me take a couple of diuretic tablets before I even left the office. Which I then proceeded to MacGyver into a swallowable form, using one end of my pocketknife as a pill crusher and a handy Ziploc with some hypoglycemia backup candy hastily evicted to contain the shrapnel! It kinda worked, even if the doctor was looking on rather apologetically with nearly equal parts fascination and surprise. (After shuffling around to find some hopefully suitable bludgeon, not very successfully.)

The occasional benefits of hauling a bunch of miscellaneous shit around in inventory, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Pocket knives come in handy again. No wheels of cheese or bees required today, at least. Fresh out of those, sadly.

The pressure was less than alarming enough that this guy and the surgeon decided not to give me a longer term prescription of the Piss Yourself Potion. But, I did get sent home with another single-tablet dose in a little envelope, just in case. Not supposed to take it unless I start having some noticeable symptoms before I come back tomorrow. And instructions to urgently call 1177 if that doesn't fix any problems that might arise.

(Yeah, no symptoms at all so far, that I can tell. I think they got extra hyper over what does seem to be "just" the same-old migraine shit, though. Not lessened by the extra disruption and stress of that appointment. 😑)

Better to play it safe, and all that. And I was somewhat impressed again that they have been very specific about informing me what I should do if I do start experiencing any worrying complications or other symptoms. Especially as compared to experiences dealing with the NHS "Don't call us...no really, just don't" approach over the years.

(Very much including opthalmology, which actually dropped me off their list twice. Besides, erm, just not wanting to hear about the hemorrhages and deliberately choosing not to treat it the only time I did get summoned for an appointment almost a year into Plague Time. 😩)

But, at any rate, I also suspect that this difference in base expectations has been contributing to my worry levels. I am just still not used to anything getting treated as that urgent anymore, though when I think about it? This has been closer to what I would have expected back home. Especially when we had "good" insurance, but also later when I was on Medicaid. Not just with this eye garbage, either. Standards of care in general.

Just because they're willing to work me in ASAP to be safe, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's high time to start freaking out. Or, so I keep telling myself. 🙄

#personal #long post #medical stuff #eye surgery #blood #gore #i guess #opthalmology #diabetic retinopathy #medical fuckery #though thankfully not here so far #medical ptsd #vitrectomy #lens implant #retina surgery

[abiik]

i am.mm. THINKING aboutt bffs jayzoe

#h talks. #oc: zoe huang #they make me so 🥺🥺🥺 #they literally bring tears to my eyes im gonna :((( #tiny robin jay & rowdy ruff zoe #lil giggly vigilantes who just wanna do the best they can do #jason's filling big shoes but the shadow he's filling is so estranged it's so hard to do so #and zoe HAS no shoes to fill. she just has the shadows of her past of too many lost loved ones way too fuckin young w a #they both have no legacy of their own & like. also a billion ppl telling them who they need to be & who they DONT need to be #u know #they also have an abundance of paths they can go down if they want even if the ppl they're being influnced by r narrowing those options #they're just kids tho & they have such STRONG opinions #they wanna make a difference they wANNA do things they WANNA change the world THEY think what they're doing is DOING THAT #they're kickin ass and puttin bad guys away #damn jason look at that shiner! #oh fuck z look at that hole in the wall you broke that dude's whole face! he deserved it tho! #like. UGH idek if im making sense they just make me very EMOTIONAL and i have a lot of incoherent thoughts about them #bc like. i have a lot of thoughts about JASON. alone. separate. from zoe. that i then take and PUT INTO my universe WITH zoe #but havent like talked about on main for several reasons #ekdkoeldoel #IM JEICIEOKDD I CANT MAKE SENSE EVER #and then i also wanna just think about them as KIDS as TEENS who just do stupid shit and have sleepovers and shit #but like. they rarely even. got that. bc jason.......you know.....

[bvckysmanbun]

Unsteady

Tim Drake fic. 

Request: Maybe have Dick and Jason find out that Tim is in an abusive relationship? You see a lot of the batboys saving their sister from an abusive partner.

I personally did not experience this, but I remember when a friend went through this same thing and it hurt my soul. If you are in this situation, or know someone, please, please make sure they’re okay. Make sure they know it’s NOT their fault. I have no other words, but it’s never your fault. 

I choose not to tag anybody because I don’t want to trigger anything for anyone.

Warnings: physical, emotional, mental abuse; abusive relationship. 

Word Count: 1k

It usually starts the same. Everything’s okay. Both of the people in the relationship are happy with each other, love each other. And then, out of nowhere, in a blink of an eye, it goes downhill.

  It would be the excuse of, “You know I have a temper. You know I love you, I just lost control, I don’t know what happened.”

  Then slowly, so slowly that you can’t recall when it began, you can’t remember when you start to blame yourself; when everything became your fault.

  There would be good days, sure. But the other days, one would have the constant need to be cautious. Around people, in the public, was the safe zone. It shouldn’t have to be like that.

You’d be too scare to tell others because what if they find out? What if it only gets worse when others know? What if you tried to leave?

Tim’s heart was pounding, begging to be released from his heart. He made sure that the door was locked before he turned to look at himself in the mirror.

  He gently pulled off his hood and the domino mask underneath. He cringed at the view; his left eye was swollen, purple starting to color the area around it. His fingers tenderly brushed against the skin as hiss pushed past his lips.

  How the hell am I going to cover this one?

 Tim gently removed the rest of his uniform, bruises and scratches that littered his entire body revealing themselves. The familiar nose burning sensation overcame him as he blinked his tears away. He didn’t know how everything got so bad.

  They were fine. He was happy, they were happy. Tim always showed up on date night with their favorite flowers, a box of chocolate or whatever other candy that they loved, and always showed kissed them hello. Tim was always gentle with them, and they with him. Until one night.

  He closed his eyes. He hated remembering that night. He’d begin to analyze what he did throughout that entire night, blaming himself for the first aggressive physical contact that they laid on him. He looked back into mirror and tears returned.

  You’re disgusting. Do you like pissing me off? You know I never mean to hit you, I just lost control. It won’t happen again, I promise Tim. I love you.

  Their usual words repeated themselves in his head like a broken record. His eyes looked into their own reflection. He never noticed how pale he really was in contrast to the bruises. They were hypnotizing, keeping him in a trance.

  “Tim!” Dick called, knocking for the third time.

  “Nothing?” Jason asked, walking towards Dick. Dick shook his head. “Fuck it,” Jason called out, grabbing his gun from the waistband of jeans behind his back.

  “Jason!” Dick glared at him. Jason lifted the gun so that the butt of the pistol hit the door knob, taking it down with force and the door squeaked open. He gave Dick a smug smirk, peeking into the bathroom.

  “Timothy?” Jason asked. He didn’t see Tim’s body, but he did catch his reflection in the mirror. He gasped, pushing the door open. Tim tried pushing back but couldn’t; Jason was too damn strong. “Dick, get in here.”

  “What hap-“ Dick stopped when he caught sight of Tim’s body. He quickly closed the door behind him. “Tim, what the hell happened?”

  “Patrol,” Tim replied in monotone.

  “My ass. What the hell happened, Tim?” Jason growled, holding Tim’s face between his thumb and finger. He did it gently, he didn’t need to add more marks to Tim’s fragile body. Jason’s eyes burned with fury as he took notice of the shiner on Tim’s face. He let go, not wanting to scar Tim anymore.

  “Tim? What’s going on?” Dick asked carefully. He didn’t want to trigger Tim in anyway.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” Tim choked out, not bothering to meet his brothers’ eyes. He didn’t want to upset them.

  “You’re not doing anything wrong,” Dick assured him, hesitantly pulling Tim in for a hug. Tim allowed him, his face burying in his shoulder. Dick felt his shirt dampen and he looked at Jason with a worried look. Jason’s eyes softened; Tim was never this vulnerable.

 They allowed him to cry it out, soothing him, telling him it was okay; that he didn’t have to talk right away if he didn’t want to.

  “We were okay. We were happy. I don’t know what happened, but every time they get upset, they just take it out on me,” Tim choked out. “I thought, maybe because I could handle getting hurt during patrol, I could handle this. But I couldn’t, I can’t,” he cries.

  Jason’s eyes darken as Dick’s does when their eyes meet. Jason speaks first.

  “You don’t deserve that, and you need to leave them. I know it’s going to be hard, but that’s why you have us. Tim, you can’t do this to yourself,” Jason says, gently placing his hand on Tim’s back. “You cannot let yourself hurt like this.”

  “We’ll get your stuff, if you want us to, Tim. You can’t go back to them,” Dick murmurs. He didn’t know what to do except hold Tim in a hug.

  “Please don’t tell Bruce or Damian.”

  “No, this is between the three of us. You tell them when you’re ready. Nobody’s forcing you, okay? You speak whenever you’re ready, okay?” Dick asked softly. Tim nodded, looking at his brothers.

  “I don’t…I don’t want to be with them and I don’t know how to tell them.”

 Jason and Dick made sure to grab Tim’s stuff that night while on patrol. Packed all his stuff from the apartment that they shared. Keyword; shared. They left note, they made sure to call their family to check on them because what if this lead to something else? What if they did some radical because Tim was gone? They just wanted what was best for their brother, and that was not Tim’s relationship.

#tim drake #tim drake x you #tim drake x reader #tim drake imagine #tim drake fanfic #red robin imagine #red robin x reader #dc #dc comics #batboys #batboys imagine #jason todd #dick grayson #request

[this-canadian-girl]

Bat Kids Cleaning

Alfred does most of the regular house hold chores, but Wayne Manor is pretty damn spanking big. So every few weeks the entirety of the bat kids group together to help Alfred out. This is what usually occurs: Dick: does his share of the work while singing or dancing or socializing with his siblings- anything really to make the mundane chores exciting. Barbara: entices Dick into a massive floor scrubbing competition that ends with the two having bloody knuckles by the time they're finished cause they scrubbed so damn hard. Jason: is put on toilet duty after he sprayed and missed Tim, hitting Alfred instead, with a gush of water from the pull out tap in the kitchen. Tim: is assigned to dusting and vacuuming in any room at least a ten meter radius from the kitchen. He was found by Cass, buzzing around the kitchen with a look near close to a mad man, rubber gloves up to his elbows, and shiner in his hands. The poor child can't help himself to the coffee maker and grape bowl. The stainless steel fridge was apparently so blinding, Alfred actually encouraged the kids to dirty it. Damian: coyly manages to make every chore into a competition. If he hasn't managed to rope his siblings into a cleaning war, then he strolls the halls durn the cleaning brakes, bragging he's cleaned the most rooms out of them all. This actually pisses Tim off enough to go up against him in a Dust Off(whoever properly dusts the most shelves in the library in five minutes gets the biggest slice of Alfred's famous pumpkin pie). Steph: turns T-Swift on max volume on her wireless speaker and goes about shaking her tush as she mops the halls. Cass: dutifully does her chores with absolute perfection. *usually finishes an hour before the others* *typically steals the largest slice of pie* Duke: gets repeatedly lost by the sheer mass of the manor. *is found and walked back to his post by the other kids*

#batkids #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #batfam headcanons #batfamily headcanon