when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance
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we're not talking enough about Dan expecting Phil to be this cool, suave, sexy emo guy and then meeting him in person and seeing he's actually an anxious, hunched-over, awkward nerd. the hero worship died immediately, but he was still like "smash"
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imagine. you’re in a london gay club. you run into these two people who are clearly together and seem a bit awkward and start chatting. you’ve never seen them before and they seem open to a threesome. you hit it off and finally ask if they’d be down. they look at each other and nod, then wordlessly produce a 20-page document labeled NON DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT. you ask why. they laugh and say just sign it. you do. these people must be important to warrant this. you have the threesome. the sex is mid. they don’t even notice when you leave
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phil saying what we were all thinking
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history's slowest house tour
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Dan is such a hypocrite when he’s like ‘all phils childhood stories sound fake’ like hello mister ‘i was in church puppet nationals’ do you think you’re more normal?
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