Sundogs my beloved
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"No more terror"
fan art inspired by Dan Simmons' book "The Terror"
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Midnight Pals: Raw Deal
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i've just learned ssssome disssturbing newsss
Rowling: from a reputable sssource
Rowling: a random nazi on twitter
Rowling: but
Rowling: i really really REALLY want it to be true
Rowling: did you know
Rowling: that puberty blockers deaden a childsss sssoul?
Rowling: a transss child is literally an inhuman shell
Kathleen Stock: wow! like a monster!
Rowling: yesss
Rowling: exactly like a monster
Rowling: think about it
Rowling: what i'm sssaying is that trans kids are bassically monsssterss
Stock: what about those trans kids who keep saying that gender affirming care is life saving?
Rowling: well
Rowling: a monssster would lie wouldn't it?
Rowling: now then we all know what to do about monssstersss don't we
Stock: yeah! kill them!
Rowling: i meant deny them the ussse of magical wandsss as per Claussse Three of the Code of Wand Ussssse
Rowling: but alssso yess kill them
Rowling: friendss the time hasss come
Rowling: we mussst kill thessse children in order to sssave them
Rowling: sssave them from the living death that is ssself-determination!
[meanwhile]
Dan Simmons: so i heard some wokies thought frankenstein got a raw deal
Mary Shelley:
Simmons: like haha! Stupid commies, having sympathy for a monster!
Simmons: i mean, he's literally a monster!
Shelley: does no one here know how to read
Mary Shelley: the whole point of the fuckin book was that frankenstein got a raw deal
Simmons: sounds like cultural marxism to me
Shelley: [stabbing Simmons] does anyone ELSE here not know how to read?
Rowling: [unfurling from bushes] me, i don't
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Art by Gary Ruddell for Hyperion by Dan Simmons
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listening to The Terror audiobook is just this, constantly
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The Shrike meets Colonel Kassad in combat in the sands of Hyperion.
A fan work before I found out Dan Simmons sort of sucked.
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Pain in person
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....did this motherfucker really base Carnival on "The Masque of the Red Death". Did he.
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I love that when I go into the Hyperion Cantos tag there are two types of people:
Type A: "Oh god, the spiritual horror. This book has moved me to tears."
Type B: "I want to fuck the Shrike."
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There aren't enough Dyson Trees in Science Fiction.
I can't believe Dan Simmon's Hyperion was the first time I heard of this concept.
It's a tree that's a space ship. A space ship that is a tree. It's the most delicious idea! Where is it?
It's called Dyson after Feeman J. Dyson, a mathematician and physicist, who also thought up the Dyson Sphere. A concept I'm sure many are familiar with. (There's also the O'Neill Cylinder, that colony thing at the end of Interstellar)
A Dyson Tree is a construct where a plant grows inside a comet or asteroid or something and produces it's own atmosphere. With a human crew it could easily be envisioned as a system where humans produce CO2 and the plant produces oxygen. Slap on some thrusters and you have a space ship. Some artificial gravity and you have a tree instead of a bush.
Tree houses! In space!
And it's not just some fancy scifi nonsense, oh no! An actual nerd thought of this!
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Midnight Pals: Cats
Abby Howard: what if i made a comic all about how funny my cat is
Clive Barker: how funny is this cat
Howard: here, take a look
Junji Ito: [immediately pointing at cat]
Howard: this is my cat
Junji Ito: cat
Poe: cat
Lovecraft: cat
Barker: oh my god you guys
Barker: it’s just a fuckin cat, get over it
Junji Ito: no
Poe: no
Lovecraft: no
Barker:
Barker: okay then
Junji Ito: i also made a comic about my funny cat
Howard: oh yeah? let me see
Ito: here
Howard:
Howard: :|
Lovecraft: you know, i have a funny cat too
Poe: no howard
Poe: we’re not doing this again
Lovecraft: b-but
Poe: no howard
Lovecraft: e-everyone else gets to talk about their cats
Howard: :|
Howard: hold on i’m gonna make a face
Poe: face?
Poe: what face are you talking about
Howard: the slightly wall-eyed face with a flat expressionless mouth
Howard: with just a hint of cheek
Poe: ohh THAT face
Howard: :|
Dan Simmons: ugh cal-arts face
Simmons: guess all the snowflakes draw that face because they’re all PC cowards!!!
Simmons: i see by your confused expressions that you didn’t expect this to be an issue dan simmons cared about huh?
Simmons: nobody knows about dan simmons’ secret squash & stretch walk cycle tumblr!
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