Dancing in the Dark Part 2
Part 1
Time was moving slowly and Eddie wanted to smash his head on the table. Women kept coming over to talk to Steve. They brought him drinks (that he politely refused), they eyed him up and down, they complimented him, they touched him. On the shoulder, shyly on his knees, they leaned into his space and smiled brightly at him. They all asked him to sing again. Please, please sing again. You were amazing, they said with their breathy, feminine voices. Eddie wanted to scratch their pretty smiles off their stupid pretty faces. Steve shook them all off with a smile and Eddie was honestly a little surprised that he wasnβt soaking up the attention more.
Nancy and Johnathan were on stage singing a Sonny and Cher duet that probably would have sounded a lot better a few beers ago. It was late though, and most of the crowd was drunk and having a good time, singing along with them. The latest woman to strike out with Steve slinked away after leaving a napkin with her phone number on it.
βIβm gunna get some air,β Steve said, getting up from the table. Eddie watched him make his way through the crowd until he couldnβt see him anymore. When he turned back around, he saw Robin staring at him, her eyes wide and slightly unfocused.
She jerked her head in the direction Steve went. βYou should go after him.β
βShould I?β Eddie asked, bewildered.
βYeah, go see if heβs okay,β she said slurring her words a little.
βShouldnβt you go see if heβs okay? Miss Best Friend?β
Robin pursed her lips and shook her head.
βMiss Best Friend says you need to go,β she said and then gave him the most uncoordinated wink Eddie had ever seen his life. He looked through the crowd towards the door that Steve had disappeared out of. He knocked his knuckles on the table and stood. Robin gave him two thumbs up and a huge grin that he couldnβt help but snort at. Β
He made his way through the room, gently nudging people out of his way. When he got to the door he took a deep breath, pushed it open and stepped outside. Steve was leaning up against the side of the bar with a cigarette hanging loosely in his fingers. He was looking up at the sky, deep in thought, a small frown hovering on his lips. He looked beautiful and sad and Eddie felt his heart clench painfully in his chest.
How had he missed it?
How fucking sad he looked sometimes?
βHey man,β Eddie said as he walked over.
Steve looked at him and Eddie watched in real time as a mask came down over his face. He tilted his head to the side and a little half smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.
It almost reached his eyes.
Almost.
If Eddie wasnβt looking closer now, he would have been fooled by it. It was well practiced, automatic, near perfectβ¦and Eddieβs heart clenched again.
βMunson,β Steve said with a warm affectionate voice that Eddie didnβt feel he deserved. He held out his cigarette between two fingers and Eddie took it.
They traded it back and forth, quietly smoking.
βYou should sing more often, youβre not as terrible as I was expecting you to be.β
βHigh praise coming from you,β Steve said and nudged Eddieβs shoulder playfully.
βWhy donβt you?β
Steve shrugged and took another drag of the cigarette before answering. βI used toβ¦ with my mom. She loves Springsteen.β
It both was and wasnβt an answer. No parents. Big house. Eddie wondered when they stopped singing together. The silence stretched between them. Eddie fiddled with his rings, turning them around and around his fingers. He didnβt know how to talk about things like this β the big things. How do you ask your friend why he doesnβt sing with his mother anymore? How do you ask him why he sang Springsteen tonight if it hurt him?
βI was wondering what Robin was going to say earlier β what else youβve been up to?β Eddie asked, choosing an easier question.
βOh.β Steve seemed surprised. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. βWell, I figured out that I really want to work with kids. For my job? But I really screwed myself over with my grades so Iβve been talking to Hop about what I can do. Heβs going to write me a reference letter and see if he can help get me into college next year. In the meantime, Iβve been volunteering at the public school. Basically, a camp counselor for an after-school program. I β I really like it. The kids are great. Iβve been teaching them basketball and swimming. Thereβs this one girl, Ashley β sheβs so shy, but so sweet! Took me weeks just to get a smile out of her, but a couple days ago she hugged me and gave me cookies that she made with her mom ββ Steve cut himself off before muttering, βsorry, Iβm ramblingβ¦β
Another adorable blush started creeping over his cheekbones. Eddie couldnβt think of a time that Steve had talked so much at once. He usually just listened when they all got together, chiming in every now and then with a comment but never talking a whole lot. But then he tried to think about the last time he or the kids had asked him a question about what he was doing or thinking and β he couldnβt.
βIt sounds great, man!β Eddie said around the lump in his throat. βTell me more.β
Steve smiled. A real one this time, small and shy.
βYeah?β he asked.
Eddie nodded⦠and Steve talked.
He had been volunteering since the spring. It was mostly younger kids whose parents werenβt home when school got out. Steve said that the program was pretty bare-bones and that the other counselors just let the kids do whatever they wanted in the school playground or gym but didnβt really plan any activities. Steve changed that by introducing sports and trips to the pool and lake as the weather warmed up.
The kids genuinely seemed to like him which surprised him but didnβt surprise Eddie at all. He told him more about Ashley. Her mom was on her own; her husband had passed away a few years ago. Steve didnβt say she was his favourite but Eddie could tell that she was. Something about how shy she was at the start and how she was slowly opening up to him really affected him. As he spoke, his smile got wider and he talked with his hands more and Eddie was captivated. He nodded along and let Steve talk for as long as he wanted, only asking the occasional follow-up question.
βIβm going to see if thereβs a program I can volunteer with in the summer, too.β
βIβm sure there is,β Eddie said with a smile.
Steve ducked his head to hide his face. After a moment, he looked up through his hair and said, βthanks.β
βThanks for what?β
βFor asking,β Steve said. βFor listening.β
βIβm sorry for not asking sooner.β
βHow could you ask about something you didnβt know about?β
βI should have asked about you,β Eddie said quietly.Β
For a moment the mask slipped off Steveβs face and Eddie saw the same dark emotion in his eyes that he had seen earlier. But just as quickly it was gone β hidden behind his confident self-assured attitude and a smirk on his lips. Eddie was starting to see it for the armor it was.
βIβm not that interesting,β Steve said and leaned back against the wall of the bar, lifting his face up to the night sky. The words were regurgitated β someone had said them to him enough times that he had internalized them, consumed them until he thought they came from his own mind. Eddie had a lot of experience with that. There was a lot that they had in common, Eddie was realizing.
βI donβt want this to sound condescending or weirdβ¦ or whatever, but ββ Eddie paused and cleared his throat before continuing, βcan I give you a hug?β
Steve looked over at him with surprise and opened his mouth, probably to say βnoβ or βwhat the hell, Munson?β but Eddie turned to him, arms spread wide and he closed it. The moment stretched and Eddie didnβt think he was going to hug him. He was just standing there, staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face β probably trying to determine Eddieβs sincerity so he held his eyes, stepped a little closer and opened his arms wider.
Hug me, Big Boy.
Steve closed the distance between them slowly, like he thought Eddie might change his mind if he moved too quickly. He smiled at him gently and Steve sagged forward, resting his head on his shoulder. He let out a sigh when Eddie brought his arms up and held him tightly. After a moment, Steve gripped him back just as hard.
Now that the hug was initiated, Eddie had no idea what to do. Rub his back? Try to get him to talk? He had never been good with his own feelings, let alone someone elseβs. But Steve was his friendβ¦ and he was hurting.
βAre you okay?β Eddie asked as gently as he could. Β
Steve immediately tensed up but didnβt pull away. Eddie rubbed small circles into his back and looked at the sky. The stars shone brilliantly in the night; he could see why Steve kept looking up at them. They held on to each other silently. Steve was still tense in his arms, despite the circles, and Eddie was convinced that he wasnβt going to answer. Which was fine, maybe a quiet hug was what he needed. The circles didnβt seem to be helping so he stopped. He brought one of his hands up to Steveβs neck and slipped his fingers into the hair at his nape. It was soft. Steve shuddered at the motion and went limp in his arms.
βNo,β he whispered.
βNo,β he forced out and Eddie could tell from his voice that he was fighting back tears.
βNo,β he sobbed and clutched at Eddie with desperation. His body shaking as the tears overwhelmed him.
Eddie made soft shushing noises and rocked them gently, his fingers still tangled in his hair. Tears pricked at his own eyes in the face of Steveβs turmoil. He wished they were somewhere else; somewhere warm and quiet where he could bundle Steve up and keep the world from hurting himβ¦ keep the world from hurting him more.
He felt small in his armsβ¦ fragile. Which was crazy because Steve was a protector. He had saved the world. He had saved Eddie β had dragged him out of hell despite his own injuries. But who protected him? Who asked him how he was doing? What he was feeling? Eddie was desperate to know why he sang Dancing in the Dark. When Robin forced him up on stage with whatever secret he didnβt want the rest of them to know he could have done any song he wanted. He chose Dancing in the Dark β and then sang the most heartbreaking version Edde had ever heard. Steve had put everything he was feeling into it; had practically screamed at them to see him.
βTalk to me, Steve,β he prodded softly. βTell me anything, everything. I want to hear it. Talk to me, please.β
Sniffles and shaky breaths, but strong arms still clutched Eddie tightly.
βI β I donβt sleepβ¦β Steve said so quietly Eddie had to strain to hear the words. βEveryone keeps saying itβs over but it doesnβt feel over. Itβs been over beforeβ¦and even when I do manage it, I have these awful dreams. Robin stays over when she can, and it helpsβ¦ but sheβs leaving and I donβt know what Iβm going to do without her. And the kids are getting older and they donβt need me anymore. And I finally have a goal, something I want to do but what if I fucked myself over in high school and I end up stuck at Family Video forever? I donβt know what Iβm doing Eddie, and I canβt sleep.β
Eddie was once again struck by how much they had in common. Nightmares and the fear that the Upside Down could come back at any moment? Check. Unfulfilled dreams and the fear of falling into an average boring life? Check. He didnβt know how to tell Steve that he understood, that he saw him. There was a song that came to mind, one of his favourites by Dio that always helped him when he felt lost and alone. Talking about feelings was hard, but singing? Eddie could do that. He could do that for Steve.
He started singing Rainbow in the Dark quietly, giving Steve something to lean into, to listen for. He softened it, like Steve had with Dancing in the Dark, turning it into a companion piece β a continuation, a parallel.
When there's lightning
You know it always brings me down
'Cause it's free and I see that it's me
Who's lost and never found
I cry out for magic
I feel it dancing in the light
It was cold, lost my hold
To the shadows of the night
No sign of the morning coming
You've been left on your own
Like a rainbow in the dark
A rainbow in the dark
Do your demons, do they ever let you go?
When you try to do they hide deep inside?
Is it someone that you know?
There's no sign of the morning coming
You've been left on your own
Like a rainbow in the dark
Just a rainbow in the dark
Steveβs tears had stopped as Eddie sang. They were holding each other lighter now, softly standing close. Steve had leaned back so he could see Eddieβs face as he sang.
βIt is over, Steveβ¦ truly over. We won and Vecna is dead. I know that wonβt stop the nightmares β it hasnβt for me. Not yet. But it will eventually, when it keeps being over. Iβll come over when Robin is gone. We can help each other sleep, yeah? And the kids are always going to need you β maybe not in the βdemon slaying, use my body as a shieldβ way β but in the older brother who loves them way. I think youβre interesting, Steve. I thinkβ¦β Eddie paused, trying to get his thoughts together. βI think youβre one of the most interesting people Iβve ever met. I want to know everything about you. I want to know why your mother stopped singing with you and why your house is always empty. I want to know why you sang Springsteen tonight. I want to know why you got so good at hiding what youβre really thinking and feeling. I want to know your favourite colour and your favourite food. I want to know about your dreams and your nightmaresβ¦I want to know it all.β
βWhy?β Steve whispered.
He was close enough that Eddie could see the green flecks in his eyes. His face was blotchy and red from crying and his hair was a mess from Eddieβs fingers, and he had never looked more beautiful. They still had their arms around each other but they werenβt hugging anymore β it was more a loose embrace, and Eddie was viscerally aware of the difference. Steve wasnβt pulling away though, was holding his eyes like they held the secrets to the universe. It made him feel brave.
βBecause I like you and I want to know you, Steve Harrington.β
Steve smiled brightly, warming Eddie with the glow. He looked down at the hand that Eddie had on his waist and grabbed it. And just like that Steve was holding his hand, and smiling at him and Eddie didnβt know what to do with the feelings fluttering in his chest. He thought he might be having a heart attack.
βI like you too, Eddie Munson.β
He was definitely having a heart attack. Eddie squeezed his hand and then moved forward a bit so he could rest his forehead on Steveβs. He huffed out a small laugh, unable to comprehend how they had got here.
βHereβs what weβre going to do. Weβre going to get our friends and take them home, then Iβm going to come over and weβre going to sleep and in the morning weβll talk more. Sound good, sweetheart?β The term of endearment popped out of his mouth and Eddie blushed furiously.
But Steve smiled and said, βSounds good, Eddie.β
Final Part
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I really wasn't planning on writing a part two of this ficlet so I didn't have a plan when I started. I hope you like it as much as the first part, it turned out much sadder than I thought it was going to. It's funny to me that even though Steve sang Dancing and Eddie sang Rainbow I think the songs work better the other way? Steve is the Rainbow and Eddie is Dancing - I guess that's why they sang them to each other <3
@newtstabber @warlordess @tillystealeaves @imfinereallyy @heartsong18 @saltyseagoat83 @aceofwands @djohawke @th30ra3k3n @lazy-duck @surreal-honeypot @awkwardgravity1 @yoriposts @alycatavatar @tearsonthemoon222 @roastingdragon @mightbeasleep @helpimstuckposting @goblintendencies
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π΅πππ - πΎπππππππ πΌππ‘ ππ’ π½π v4
@bixlasagna @dakota-283 @decemberthenemesis @esotericsnob @wayward-cat @invincible-selfxmade-punk @frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut @bigbonzo @inbetweenneeds π
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Bruce Springsteen: I eat loneliness, man. I feed off it. The loner thing started from the very beginning. It was like I didnβt exist. It was the wall, then me. But I was working on the inside
Bruce Springsteen, 1978, about his youth:
βIt was like I didnβt exist. It was the wall, then me. But I was working on the inside all the time. A lot of rock and roll people went through this solitary existence. If youβre gonna be good at something, youβve gotta be alone a lot to practice. There has to be a certain involuntariness to it. Like my youngest sister, she could play if she wanted to. But sheβs too pretty. Sheβs popular, you know what I mean? She ainβt gonna sit in the house in her room no eight hours a day and play the piano. No way.β
Dave Marsh: "Springsteen is a loner by nature. Even today, he is the sort of person whose favorite moments often involve being alone: speeding down a highway, or just soaking up the atmosphere at four A.M. on a deserted street."
Bruce Springsteen: βThe loner thing started from the very beginning. My fatherβs entire family were outsiders. They didnβt give a damn what anybody thought.β
Video: Bruce Springsteen dancing on stage with his mother then playing with his sister: Dancing in the Dark, London 2013
Bruce Springsteen with his mother, and his sister.
"In fact, what was troubling Bruce personally was not far removed from what heβd already conceived as the central problem The River had tried to tackle: βPeople want to be part of a group yet they also want to disassociate themselves. People go through those conflicts every day in little ways: Do you wanna go to the movies tonight with your friends, or stay home? I wanted to get part of that on the recordβthe need for community, which is what βOut in the Streetβ is about. Songs like The Ties That Bindβ and Two Heartsβ deal with that, too. But thereβs also the other side, the need to be alone.β
Bruce was beginning to feel the downside of his lonerβs lifeβhis need to be alone was becoming something tougher, more pernicious: loneliness. He later compared his emotions to the scene in The Grapes of Wrath in which an Okie farmer tries to hold off eviction with a shotgun, only to be told that the men he wants to shoot are faceless, hidden away in boardrooms hundreds of miles away. βI felt the same way he did: Where do I point the gun?β Bruce said. βIn the Seventies and Eighties, especially compared to the Sixties, it became awfully hard to identify an enemy.β Right now, though, Springsteen was fighting the enemy within."
Dave Marsh
Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band - Darkness on the Edge of Town (Live In Barcelona)
Bruce Springsteen (in the mid-Seventies): βYou know, you have to be self-contained. That way you donβt get pushed around. It depends on what you need. I eat loneliness, man. I feed off it. I live on a lotta different levels, yβknow, because Iβve learned to cope with people, which isβbe cool all the timeβ¦I can roll with the punches. Itβs a way of getting along.β
'Well now I lost my money and I lost my wife
Them things don't seem to matter much to me now
Tonight I'll be on that hill 'cause I can't stop
I'll be on that hill with everything I got
Lives on the line where dreams are found and lost
I'll be there on time and I'll pay the cost
For wanting things that can only be found
In the darkness on the edge of town
In the darkness on the edge of town'
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Messages keep getting clearer
Radio's on, and I'm moving 'round my place
I check my look in the mirror
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face βΆ
From the first draft of the corpo!val longfic...
βGood afternoon, welcome. Are you checking in?β
He steps forward to the counter, releasing his touch on Val at last. βYes. Mitch and Valerie Anderson.β
βYes, Mr. Anderson, I see your reservation here: four weeks in our lovely Morro suite. It is fully stocked one bedroom with full service kitchen and balcony with a water view.β
βOne bedroom?β he falters; heβs certain Val told him there would be two.
βYes, sir. Is that a problem?β
His eyes slide over to Val as the visual distortion increases and more hormones pump into his system. She squeezes his bicep as she steps up to the counter.
βI believe we had a reservation for your two bedroom suite. I adore my husband,β she says, pausing to look up at him with a sweet smile, and her touch grounds him somewhat. βBut this man snores like a fleet of AVs. If I have to share a bedroom with him, I will be suing you to pay for our divorce, and for damages.β
Valβs face lights up as she laughs and he follows her lead, throwing his head back and guffawing.Β
βPlease, for the sake of my marriage,β he says, still chuckling as he turns back to the receptionist. βDonβt wanna test that prenup.β
Val laughs and swats him with her other hand.
βLet me see what I can do,β the receptionist says and smiles politely. She resumes typing and moments later looks up at them. βI apologize for that oversight. I do have a two bedroom suite available. There will be a slight price difference.β
Mitch waves his hand dismissively. βWhatever Valerie wants, she gets.β
She gives a laugh that he can describe as sultry as she leans into him, and he slides his organic hand down her back to her waist, pulling her tight against his side.Β
βOf course, sir. We have adjusted our records. One moment please.β
A new alert pops up in the corner of his HUD, SCAN INITIATED, and itβs time for the first real test of the soft. The new deck from Vik shows the data being received by the scanner:
MITCHELL ANDERSON
DOB: 2028-04-29
NATIONALITY: NUSA
....Β
The data flowing from his deck matches the info packet passed on by Val and he releases the breath heβs been holding. He glances over at Val whoβs watching him, and he gives her a lopsided smile and presses a kiss to her forehead. The chemicals taper off and the disorientation plateaus but he continues to focus on Val, on the feel of her against his side and the soft skin of her arm under his calloused fingertips.
βVery well, you are all checked in,β the receptionist says. βPlease let us know if there is anything you require, otherwise please enjoy your stay.β
βThank you,β Val says with a warm smile, and he nods with an awkward smile.
When the valet directs them away from the desk, Mitch finally releases his grip on Valβs waist and follows her to a bank of elevators.
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