every time i listen to all of humbug im like "omg this might be their best song ever" during every single song
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🪞,🔥, and🐍. You said the Academic was kind of bad at Glasswork, didn't you?
🔥 — Least favourite Master of the Bazaar?
The Academic and Stones do not get on well. The Academic will occasionally do espionage chores for it in The Khanate, but by now, that’s more of a duty to the group as a whole. The Academic has had a few peeks into the pasts and inner lives of its colleagues, and while Pages, Wines and Spices took it relatively well (Fires is in there too, but doesn’t know), Stones merely re-experienced its trauma.
Even if we disregard biological reasons for hoarding, each of the Masters has an emotional reason for their favorite subject. It’s pretty obvious that Stones’ aggressive hoarding is either in response to or was exacerbated by getting collected itself. It’s not a hoarder of rocks, but a hoarder “of value,” which means that if unchecked, there is no way that Stones wouldn’t simply expand its own hoard to encompass everything else. The other masters have concrete-if evil- goals and interests. But Stones seems like it's trying to get all the value and power not out of enjoyment, but so that it can pin things up where they can’t hurt it. And Stones may no longer be called the Khan of Shackles, but we know exactly what it was known for collecting in the Fourth City.
Also, Stones’ manner of speech: its penchant for antiquated personal pronouns (thee, thou, etc) isn’t just a writing quirk to make Stones sound different, but means that The Academic can tell exactly when Stones means to talk down to them. Wines might use the Royal “We,” but it desperately craves jocular companionship. Pages might make up words to sound smart, but it does honestly want others to use them too. Stones uses language as yet another barricade. That’s a personal pet peeve of The Academic’s.
The Academic is also not a fan of Eaten. They turned away from the name when they realized that they actually could win the Marvellous. To seekers, mourning Eaten is all-encompassing. The Academic doesn’t know the whole story, but whoever Candles was is gone now. Seeking is an inadequate way of balancing the scales. And for their money, if you want to find meaning in nothing, The Discordance is a magnificent and rich expanse of the beauty of meaningful nothing. Seeking is a study closing your eyes very tightly and ignoring beauty.
(Note: If you point out that Stones might have collected living humans, but Pages uh. Pages has some. Uh. You know. Bodies? You’d think that Happles would be the one to but we all know Happles just eats them. Anyway. If you point that out then The Academic will agree with you that Pages is an unforgivable monster but you’ll still see them a day later, humming merrily pushing a wheelbarrel full of proscribed material, even though their Connected: The Masters is maxed out)
🐍 — Snakes or cats?
Neither. Much better to keep playing both sides against one another. If they’re distracted at home, then they have less time to fuss about in Real business in London.
🪞 — Do they enjoy being in Parabola? Why or why not?
Parabola’s a necessary evil, and while there are interesting things to find, the Academic would tell you that directly interfering with the dreams of others is the greatest cheat of all: if we bypass a man’s conscious mind, we bypass rational discussion.
This is of course utter hogwash; The Academic’s real argument is “I don’t want these grapes anyway, they’re sour.” They barely made it through the parabola section of Heart’s Desire, and the whole place is quite a lot of nonsense to them. It’s like this tumblr post:
Also if word about Parabola got out, it could be a serious business competitor to the railroad. If there’s ever an exceptional story about someone trying to use parabolan mirror-jaunts as a fast mode of travel, expect the academic to shut that down immediately and with nasty, extreme prejudice.
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Videotape
floating on the surface of your pool
suspended between the stars and hell
swirling stars in galaxies far away
while you, my center, my hope, my mirror
fix me in your gaze, with greed, impatience
and superhuman self-control
you, knowing everything I ever wanted to know
breathing in love every breath I ever desired to take
pink and white and soft as a flower
big as a teddy bear given by the father I never met
the lover I waited ten lifetimes to meet
my window to God
This is where I go to find His arms again
where he holds me in a light
ensconced in darkness impenetrable
in the wings of angels whose wings
no eyes can penetrate
my home
.
calypso jewel strawn, 01/17/2024
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I know Space Middle-earth has been done, but thinking Gondor/Númenor thoughts while also vicariously playing Mass Effect with my best friend suddenly got me thinking about LOTR/the Silm in space. More space fantasy than sci-fi, but still.
I've got a lot of ideas, but wrt Númenor specifically, I think it was another planet, part way between Earth and Space Valinor (I think Tol Eressëa is an asteroid or moon or something). Not particularly close as the starship flies. Humans who had fought in their psionic alien pals' epic interstellar war against Space Morgoth were (if willing) brought from Earth to Númenor, a beautiful garden world.
I don't think humans had the technology for FTL travel at the time or access to whatever they'd call hyperspace lanes in this AU. But they did end up developing FTL space travel later and all sorts of wondrous devices that blurred the line between technology and Space Elf magic.
This goes on over a much longer time than in canon, I think, and they functionally become aliens themselves. Some literally are descendants of Space Elves, but regardless of that, they're becoming increasingly like them, esp in regard to physiology and various psionic abilities.
But where Space Elves are immortal, Númenóreans are not, even if they live much longer than their ancestors did, and in their later years, there's a ton of dubious but well-funded immortality research.
They eventually develop their own interstellar empire. They even rediscover Earth in their travels, and although they don't initially realize what it is and Terrans take them for true aliens at first, both soon recognize their kinship. Unfortunately, the end result is that the Númenóreans fold significant portions of Earth into their empire (also as a consequence, Terran humans spread beyond Earth, though it remains their acknowledged homeworld).
The Space Elves have some ancient holdings on Earth as well, I think, and Space Sauron is expanding his empire to all corners, with various bloody clashes until the Númenóreans apparently conquer Sauron's forces and take him as a prisoner back to Númenor. This goes about as well as in canon, and the end result is that Númenor is transformed into a total water world—I'm thinking rather like the one in Interstellar. (Still deciding if the "lanes" to it are destroyed or if you can go to the planet, but will find nothing except watery death.)
The death of the Númenórean high king, his armada, and destruction of the entire capital planet, its infrastructure, and many of its people nearly destroys the power of the surviving Númenóreans and certainly succeeds in breaking it into multiple states, many of which ultimately fall apart. I think there's some further disaster as Elendil's starship fleet escapes Númenor and it gets split up, with Elendil crash-landing on a Númenórean colony and Isildur and Anárion's part of the fleet ending up near Earth.
All three share incredible diplomatic acumen and are able to unite various factions and peoples behind them into two sprawling "quadrants," the Arnor and Gondor quadrants. The Arnor quadrant is the more remote from the Sol system, though a number of Terran groups have long-since settled there, and it does eventually shatter as a Númenórean quadrant under various pressures (the remaining Númenóreans there become helpful spacefarers, essentially).
The Gondor quadrant has a number of struggles—a disastrous civil war in their capital of Osgiliath that leads to relocating the capital to the Sol system, incursions that lead to relinquishing a major system, the loss of Elendil's dynasty. But they're fundamentally holding together at the time that Sauron's old empire reforms. Now they're struggling to survive and to keep Sauron's empire from total conquest of the known galaxy.
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Throwing rocks at whoever popularized the concept of "healing crystals" to the extent that you can't find real information about minerals by just googling it
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Free TTRPG Art - Puppeteer Spider
I appreciate the patience! I am working on this month’s monster now, but in the meantime, have last month’s - the puppeteer spider! It has a bit more narrow usage, but spiders lend themselves very well to traps and lair setups. This one could have an extra hypnotic flair.
This illustration is under a CC-BY license, and is therefore free to use in private TTRPG games and commercially for independent content creators! If you want a transparent .png and other full-resolution files, please visit my Ko-fi shop where it’s pay-what-you-want.
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Brock Dawn n Ash arriving in machina town: ahhhh you can feel the positivity of this place!!
Arceus:
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extremely awesome record store find
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Danger Mouse & Black Thought - Strangers (feat. A$AP Rocky and Run The Jewels)
"WARNING: This video may potentially trigger seizures for people with photosensitive epilepsy. Viewer discretion is advised."
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I wonder how many beings that in our world are myth/legend/cryptids etc. are straight up real in fossil fighters. Like we know some things in ff exist like ghosts, zombies, skeletons, dragons, whatever the fuck oonga oonga is, prehistoric giant whales, and planet-eating space monsters, but what about shit like mothman? Fresno nightcrawlers? Bigfoot?
Imagine if some cryptids in the ff world are actually just wild vivosaurs that were mistaken for monsters, like maybe a rogue plesio or elasmo is responsible for loch ness monster sightings, but shit like the jersey devil is just real. I think It'd be pretty funny.
Anyways you guys like sandworms?
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The bookmark tag was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks but To Be Real even I forgot what it was...
BUT YEAH thanks so much for reading and I'm glad it's :] Intelligible At Least :] obviously I would be up for reading anything that came to mind after putting you and your followers through All That but understandable... A lot of people I've shown the checklist items or pointed out specific behaviors to have actually said similar [i.e. I'm In This Picture And I Don't Like It], so I totally get what you mean, too!
I think a lot of my picks wound up being generalized trauma responses/aftereffects of abuse or neglect [hence I meandered off into just talking about Jo's father half the time], so I guess it's to be expected a lot of them don't read as being CSA-specific or are broadly relatable; it's not like he's supposed to be read that way, after all. I just wasn't able to zero in on many of the more specific ones because I've Never Seen Jo In This Situation Chief I Don't Know What He Thinks About His Name Or His Body Or Mirrors Or Sex Or Affection I Don't Know How Well Or Poorly He Sleeps [Presumably Poorly Though He Has The Second-Reddest Eyes In The Whole Game]
I don't really think I'll have anything to add though unless Infinite Wealth goes off the rails or I actually continue reading the book... so that will have to do... I originally was just riffing on RGGJo's attachment issues, self-destructiveness, and specific entwinement of sexuality/aggression/romance, and his portrayal in my fic lined up pretty closely, so I thought it'd be interesting to apply the same lens to Y7Jo...
But Yeah x2 thank you for the opportunity to talk about it and I'm Glad It's Intelligible At Least x2
THANK YOU i really should change that tag to something better... <- i will immediately forget to do so like a jackass
BUT YA OF COURSE OF COURSE i was truthful when i said it was a real good read (but once again. i have -5 speech skills so i can't properly word SHIT) and was a thorough examination of jo's trauma and how it manifests in him and how it's exhibited through his actions. ALWAYS a big fan of that :)
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I never stop trying to understand the conflicting rules of the internet. Whether the algorithms shun me for being too wild, or how I receive hostility from strangers when I only try to sort out inauthentic Hacker Warning posts on DA, I’ll try to keep my head up high.
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