#daniel is so complicated and he IS flawed

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: “That’s Love!”

This post includes a detailed character study on Buck to illustrate the journey he took to define what love means to him and what he needs in a partner.

Buck said, “That’s love!” in season 2 as he remembered the things a victim’s spouse said to him while they were on a call.  He asked Maddie “Is that really love?” in season 5 during their conversation about a movie that was supposed to be a romantic comedy which included a man trying to make a woman fall in love with him over and over again every day.  It took several years for Buck to finally define what love had to mean for him after he had spent those same years trying to find love even though his assignment was to “make it” (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Buck Misunderstood the Assignment” for more information on Buck misunderstanding the assignment about making it).

“Is that really love?”

Evan didn’t know how to define love because he never witnessed it being exhibited between his parents while he was growing up.  All he saw was their grief and most of it had been directed towards him because he was born to save his brother Daniel but he was unable to do it.  No one told him why his parents treated him the way they did and that’s why he confused being reckless with love because those were the only times they paid attention to him and to avoid dealing with their grief, they rewarded him whenever he got hurt.  Evan started equating love with the things he saw his parents do.  When he heard them arguing and saying things like, “We live with a reminder every day”, he wasn’t sure what they meant by that but he did understand that he would be rewarded if he was reckless and got hurt in the process. His mother bringing him food or his father buying him a new bike or ice cream was the way he started to interpret love.

Since Evan hadn’t seen any real examples of true love, he still didn’t know how to define love in 2004 when Maddie told him she was moving to Boston to be with Doug.  He knew that he didn’t like how Doug treated her so he asked, “Why does he always gotta know where you are and what you’re doing?”  Maddie replied, “It’s sweet. He cares about me” but Buck said, “I don’t like him”.  He didn’t like Doug and he knew that Doug’s possessiveness towards Maddie wasn’t what love was supposed to be but she told him Doug cared about her. He asked her if she was leaving him and she told him Boston wasn’t that far away which caused Evan to think that people who leave him would still love him and one day return.  Evan’s flawed definition of love included him being reckless and him being abandoned.

Maddie didn’t know what love was either because she grew up in the same house as Evan; therefore she thought leaving would fix everything for him even though it didn’t fix things for her.  In 2012, after he crashed his motorcycle, he visited Maddie at work and asked her if he could live with her and Doug but she told him “It’s complicated” when he told her that he believed Doug hated him. Instead of telling him what was going on Maddie gave him her jeep and told Evan to “Go and Be Happy” so that he wouldn’t have to live with his parents anymore.  The examples of love Buck witnessed while he was growing up confused him and he didn’t know that love wasn’t supposed to be hard or difficult and he also didn’t know that he didn’t have to be reckless to receive it.  He would learn later that he is supposed to “make it” instead of “find it”.

Bobby told Buck that he needed to step in and be present with his girlfriend but since she wasn’t all in with him, he was confused again and equated love with abandonment.  After she abandoned him in 1x10 “A Whole New You”, he believed if he continued to love her then she would eventually come back to him but she didn’t.  He felt like he hadn’t been enough for her which caused him to think love had to be hard instead of it being unconditional and easily reciprocated between two people.

Thomas explained the definition of love to Buck in 2x8 “Bucktually” and it seemed like he understood after he saw that Thomas had died not long after Mitchell did because they couldn’t live without each other.  When Buck saw Thomas had died while holding Mitchell’s hand, he told Eddie and Bobby, “That’s love”. But when he received a call from a woman he saved during the earthquake, he tried to find love again instead of recoginizing he was already making it.

After his conversation with Thomas, Buck agreed to meet the woman he met during the earthquake and she became girlfriend #2.  He took things slowly with her but after his leg got crushed by the ladder truck in 2x18 “This Life We Choose”, she abandoned him just like girlfriend #1 had done. He still felt like he wasn’t enough and he continued to define himself via his job title as a firefighter because he thought that was all he had to offer anyone and it was the only thing that made him feel like he mattered.

After Buck learned his family’s secret that consisted of him being conceived to save his brother from dying of leukemia, he questioned his self-worth and his purpose.  His parents still didn’t know how to love him unconditionally and he told them in 4x4 “9-1-1 “What’s Your Grievance” to “Love me anyway” after they told him and Maddie that neither of them made it easy for them while they were growing up even though they were children.  Buck forgave them after his father told him it wasn’t his fault and that they never blamed him; however he still didn’t know how to define the type of love he needed for himself.  He started trying to find it again with a woman he hooked up with two years prior.

Buck’s relationship with girlfriend #3 was something but it wasn’t love.  When she told Buck, “I kind of love you for it” and “I love you” in 5x9 “Past is Prologue”, it illustrated how neither of them were ready to say it to each other because they didn’t know each other.  They couldn’t trust each other and both of their definitions of love were skewed due to their traumatic childhoods.  Love is unconditional, it includes patience and kindness but the only reason she told him she loved him was because he finally met her condition which was for him to chase her.  She had been trying to get him to do it for months (since 4x14 “Survivors” after The Shooting) and he finally did it, so she told him she loved him (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Buck has always been in LOVE with Eddie; Taylor never had a chance” for more information on the person who tried to come between Buck and Eddie).  They both clung to each other because they felt like it was their last chance for romance, hence the song that was playing during their “I love you” scene titled “Last Dance” by Donna Summer. When Buck said, “Good love you too”, his facial expression showed that he knew what he felt for her would never compare to the feelings he had for Eddie. He told Maddie in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia”, “I do love her” but he couldn’t have meant he was in love with her because at the time he still thought love had to be hard and that if the person stayed and didn’t abandon him then they would love him.  But it didn’t work because he was still trying to find it.  True love for him was seeing someone at their worst but still wanting to try again and he didn’t realize he already made it with Eddie until he saw Eddie after his breakdown. Buck knows what love is supposed to feel like and he knew it wasn’t whatever he had with her but the issue was he and Eddie emotionally separated themselves from each other after The Shooting.

“That’s love!”

The love Buck and Eddie have for each other is so big that it scares them. Neither of them have ever been in love with someone and since they’ve spent the last four years building a family and being exactly what the other one needed, the thought of losing each other is too much for them to handle (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: "Their First Time Being in Love" for more information on their first time being in love).  Every time Buck has been faced with losing Eddie, he panicked because he can’t imagine living his life without him.

When Eddie was trapped in The Well, Buck couldn’t see him while he was underneath 50-feet of wet earth but he knew Eddie was down there and that’s why he tried to dig Eddie up with his bare hands.  He believed everyone else thought Eddie was dead and he started to mentally prepare himself for that just in case Eddie didn’t make it out.  Buck was relieved when Eddie walked up after he swam through the tunnels to make it back home to his family.

It was different for Buck when Eddie got shot since it happened right in front of him and it wasn’t anything like what happened at The Well.  After The Shooting, they became emotionally distant because it hurts them too much to think about what could have happened if Eddie had died. Eddie told May in 5x15 “FOMO”, “Trauma often causes us to turn inward” and the trauma Buck and Eddie experienced from The Shooting caused them to do just that, “turn inward”.  Instead of turning to each other, discussing it and identifying how much they mean to each other, Buck and Eddie compartmentalized all their feelings and became numb so that they wouldn’t have to deal with their feelings for each other.   Buck has tried to talk to Eddie about The Shooting twice but Eddie’s still not ready.

Buck still had to face the possibility of losing Eddie during The Hostage Situation in 5x6 “Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1”.  He wasn’t in the ambulance or outside of the hospital when he heard the gunshot but he panicked when he thought Eddie had been shot again.  While everyone else ran away from the gunfire, Buck ran towards it calling Eddie’s name (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: 4 times Buck thought the lost Eddie” for more information on Buck’s reactions to almost losing Eddie).

After Eddie left the 118 in 5x10 “Wrapped in Red”, Buck thought he would no longer have to worry about losing Eddie or him dying again until 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” when Christopher called him in a panic about Eddie.  When Buck broke down Eddie’s bedroom door, he didn’t know what he was going to see but as he looked around the room, he tried to mentally prepare himself to see Eddie’s lifeless body.  The way he called Eddie’s name was filled with a quiet panic that was very different from the way he called Eddie’s name at The Well, after The Shooting and after The Hostage Situation.  He looked like he could barely breathe until he heard Eddie crying and rushed over to be next to him.  Eddie was scared too because he didn’t want Christopher to hear him so he held back the sounds associated with his crying until he heard Buck calling for him.  Those few moments of panic helped Buck to realize that he wouldn’t be able to go on if Eddie had done something to hurt himself.

When Eddie asked him, “Is he ok?” and Buck replied, “I mean he’s still scared out of his mind. He’s not the only one”, it illustrated how both Buck and Christopher were scared of losing Eddie.  Eddie’s will set things up so that Buck and Christopher will have each other if Eddie dies but that’s not what either of them want because they want all three of them to be a family together.  Buck breaking down Eddie’s bedroom door and finding Eddie at his worst helped him to realize what love meant for him and it wasn’t what he thought he felt for any of his ex-girlfriends.

Buck defined what love means to him in 5x18 “Starting Over” and his definition described him and Eddie’s relationship perfectly.  He said, “Is that really love? Right, shouldn’t it be, when you’re at your worst, they’re at their worst, you have every reason to give up and you still decide you want to try again?” Buck and Eddie have been there for each other every time they’ve been at their worst over the past four years and they keep deciding to try again.  It took Buck several years to figure out what love meant to him especially after his traumatic childhood.  Also Buck’s ex-girlfriends either abandoned him or he couldn’t trust them so they never decided to try again with him but he’s tried again with Eddie many times over.  Buck and Eddie established the foundation of their relationship and it was built on trust first.  Then Buck stepped in with Eddie after they had only known each other for a few weeks and stepping in with him wasn’t hard or difficult.  They built The Buckley-Diaz Family together and Eddie named Buck’s to be Christopher’s legal guardian in his will (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: The Will & Legal Guardianship” for more information on Eddie’s will).  He has a family now even though he probably hasn’t realized it yet but he has a family to go home to so it’s just a matter of time before Buck and Eddie acknowledge the family they’ve built and start living their lives for themselves instead of for everyone else.

Now that Buck knows the type of love he needs, will he continue making it with Eddie or will he keep trying to find it?  Will Buck and Eddie finally talk about The Shooting and what it means to them during season 6?  Will they talk about The Will?  Only the showrunners, writers and producers know the answers to those questions.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #buck buckley #christopher diaz #911 meta #911 speculation #911onfox #911 fox #911 on fox #911 s6 #911 season 6 #911 season 6 speculation #911 s5 #911 #911 season 5 #anti taylor kelly #anti bucktaylor #anti bt #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family

[madametamma]

Unpopular opinion: I love that they double down on Vlad being an asshole in the episode ‘Masters of all time’.  That episode gets plenty of fair criticism but the idea that Vlad would have been a better person if the accident never happened to him is one that I disagree with.

I just find the idea that Vlad was a good person until he became a victim from his best friend’s carelessness; that he WOULD be a good guy if only he could just finally get the family he always wanted, SO much less compelling than the idea that,

Vlad always had a touch of selfishness, controlling and manipulative behavior in him, and this one horrible thing that happened to him didn’t CAUSE him to be that way but instead gave him the excuse and the power to do what he always had in him.

It wasn’t the portal accident.  It was him. His choices.  That’s what makes him such a good foil for Danny.  Danny also went through the accident.  Danny also has to keep this part of himself secret.  Danny also has a complicated relationship with Jack and Maddie based on them not being able to grasp just how much they have hurt and continue to hurt him. Danny and Vlad just make different choices.

His loneliness and misery are all his own doings.  There ARE people who want to connect with Vlad, but he sees them as beneath him. He could have Maddie in his life, IF he accepted her friendship instead of her romance.  He could find a new love IF he didn’t see everyone as lesser.  He could have a strong bond with Danny, IF he had just approached him differently and didn’t make such selfish demands of him.

It’s all him. And what’s the best way to show that?

Take away the portal accident.  He no longer has his big excuse and he’s still got all his flaws.  He’s still controlling and cruel. In the normal time line, he’s convinced himself he deserves Maddie because of what he went through.  In this changed time lime, it’s just because he likes it this way. He’s selfish and no amount of getting exactly what he wants will change that.

That’s why his redemptive moment in TUE works.  He’s been stripped of everything BUT time to reflect on his own choices,

And it’s also why in Kindred Spirits, Danielle’s love for him isn’t the key to his redemption and change. He says all he wants love and family but he’s too controlling and selfish to accept Danielle flaws and all.  Everything had to be his exact way.

Vlad’s character changed in season 3.  I’ll give you that, but seasons 1-2, he is consistent. It’s just that fans wished for a different trajectory for his character.

#Danny Phantom #DP #Vlad Masters #Masters of all time #unpopular opinions #I think it gives him more agency than to just pin it all on him being a victim #I think it's more compelling this way #I still find aspects of him sympathetic even though he's an asshole #He can be both

[fayevalcntine]

I feel like way too many people want to woobify at least one of the main characters in the first season (be it Lestat or Louis at least) that many miss out on the complicated aspects of their behaviors and mistake understanding said aspects and talking about them to excusing them.

But one thing in particular that I've noticed is that given the proper lack of context for Armand as a character (since we firstly see him in the background as a servant and only in the last minute as a powerful vampire), a lot of people are jumping through hoops to label Louis as another helpless victim despite Armand's actual quotes about him. "I care for him more than he cares for himself"/"This time I won't spare [Daniel's] life."/"Louis can sometimes act out." Like I don't mean to say that Louis is running this entire situation because he obviously isn't, but it's clear that he IS making choices like requesting Daniel to come visit him for another interview, showing him Claudia's diaries and discussing in length about vampire lore and his own history, in spite of Armand apparently not agreeing with that because it may lead to Louis' death at the hands of other vampires. The most significant rule about vampires is that you do not talk about vampire lore to a human, right? This is why Lestat doesn't tell Louis about how he can read his mind/push his thoughts in his head/stop time right up until Lestat offers Louis the chance to become a vampire. Armand doesn't even reveal himself to be another powerful vampire to Daniel up until the last moment, so it's clear that he doesn't agree with the interview necessarily nor with Daniel being there, but Louis wants him to be there so he allows it.

This is why labeling Louis as a helpless victim in the hands of another "monster" is just robbing him of his own agency in putting himself in this situation. Because yes, Armand IS more powerful but Louis is also in repeated denial of his own flaws and actions that paint him to be as less kind and righteous in front of others (Daniel) and even to Claudia within his story. It's much easier for Louis to paint Daniel a picture made up of rehearsed lines and skewed memories than it is for him to even tell himself the truth, that he loved Lestat and chose him over Claudia. It's also much easier for Louis to take part in Armand's life and penthouse and live in complete isolation in order to deem himself a "master of his own instincts". When you have your food delivered to you, your living space managed by someone else, completely devoid of any particular furniture or even colors that would remind you of anything, not coming out of that space or mingling with regular humans, it's so much easier to act like you're in complete control of your instincts and emotions. This is also why Armand even has to be near Louis in certain moments in order to calm him down before Louis starts to snap in front of Daniel.

Point being, what Louis and Armand may have as a romantic relationship is obviously not one that is specifically good for Louis in the long term, but it's likely one he thinks he needs if he can even go on functioning. Why else would he want his flaws and his outbursts omitted from Claudia's diaries? Why else would he want to pretend he is above all these vampires who "give in" to their instincts when he is pretty much not even tempting himself or his emotions by going outside and talking to people who aren't Armand or some random servants until Daniel shows up?

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #armand #louis de pointe du lac #also the weird way some people talk about armand is so offputting bc this fandom oscilates from one point #to another with characters like Armand and Lestat all while acting like Louis never had any agency in his life when that isn't true #and can people fucking stop being weird about Armand's casting????? why are people demanding he be played by a teen?? #you want a teen to express romantic/sexual desire to men who are at least physically a decade older than him?? #anyway idk what Armand's full deal is on the show but I'm curious to find out and how he develops later on #i just hope the writers don't fall into weird stereotypes when he's Muslim now

[prosperdemeter2]

I never knew just how much I needed perspective flips from the rewrite series until I just read them lol. These characters are so…perfectly messy and human the way you write them and I absolutely love it. Just like Maddie alone. The way I wanted to just go uggg in the her pov for the Eddie asking about Daniel moment. But then wanted to high five and cheer for her in the other one where she told Bobby not to dare try and mess up buddies relationships after the bombing. Brilliant.

Anywho, while I can’t stand her in it, Can I ask for a perspective flip for Shannon in chapter 2 of collision please? 🥹

Gosh! This was a complicated one lmao. Let it be known that, for the canon of the series, I will probably never be going into Shannon’s POV again 😅 (not that I'm frustrated or anything about it. She was just TOUGH to write).

As for your words up top: omg pls you're so sweet 😭 I try so hard to write characters that are flawed but so deserving of love - I hope as the story goes on you gain some sympathy for a Maddie that's learning and trying to be better now.

collision chapter two

Eddie’s house was… quaint. It wasn’t what Shannon would have chosen for their family, if he had ever bothered to ask her, but it was what he had chosen. She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised, Eddie had always been fond of the smaller things in life. He didn’t enjoy extravagant, he had fought her tooth and nail over getting a new car when they were still together, citing medical bills and a future fund that he’d rather be putting his pension into. He had to have been making enough in his career as a public servant (and with his retirement from the Army), so Shannon didn’t really understand why he was still living in his small, two bedroom, one story house. But it wasn’t her concern how Eddie spent his money anymore. 

At least, not when it came to this. 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Harvey kissed her cheek like he always did, like she was a work of art, and gently tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She preened - Eddie had never touched her like that, he had never spoiled her the way Harvey did, with pride and reverence. Harvey was better, everyone in her life told her that (Shannon had known that when they had first slept together - Harvey was perfect, safe… dispassionate.). 

Shannon hated Eddie’s little house. 

It was too clean, too lived in, too decorated. He had a calendar on the refrigerator that didn’t have his handwriting on it, stuffed behind Christopher’s messy color pencil drawings and report card boasting all A’s. He had a list of emergency phone numbers taped on the counter next to a landline and Shannon’s name wasn’t even on it - the list went: Buck, Carla, Bisabuela, Tia Pepa, Maddie, Captain Nash, Athena Grant, Karen Wilson, Tia Adriana. The list was obviously for Christopher, just like the shower chair and the rails in the bathroom she had spotted earlier. It was a good thing he already had those in place, Shannon had noted with a derisive snort, considering his boyfriend needed them just as much lately (if the way he was slowly moving the night before said anything). 

Shannon glanced over her shoulder and towards the locked door at the end of it - Christopher was still in the bathroom, he had paused briefly outside of the door that clearly belonged to his father’s bedroom but Shannon had waved him along. I’ll make breakfast, she had said with a smile. 

Christopher always liked waffles. She was sure Eddie had the ingredients to toss those together, although she didn’t see a waffle maker anywhere. Maybe she should interrupt the two of them, like she had thought of doing the night before just for the laugh of it all (imagine, Shannon scoffed. Helena would have had Eddie’s head, and Shannon’s, if she had ever caught them doing what Shannon had caught him doing the night before.). She could imagine it, really. She didn’t know what they were doing behind that door, really, except she knew, from her own wealth of experience, just how good at bedroom activities Eddie was. They’d probably be lost in each other, like Shannon had noticed they so often were. Her knocking on the door, sharp and loud, would have them springing apart. If she laughed loud enough, she could picture the perfect bright red Eddie’s cheeks would turn - it used to mean that they would be having a very entertaining romp in the sheets themselves, but Shannon had long ago grown to enjoy the lead up to the main event just as much. Eddie was easy to rile up, fun to do too, and ever since he had served her those divorce papers? Shannon thought he deserved a bit of embarrassment every now and then. “Can I have cereal?” Christopher interrupted her thoughts with a blink of innocence. 

Shannon flinched. “I’m going to make waffles.” 

Christopher frowned. “Okay,” he shrugged. “Can I have cereal still?” 

“Your mother,” Harvey intervened when Shannon merely bristled in her spot. “Is going to make waffles.” 

“I don’t want waffles.” Christopher argued petulantly. He had always done that - it had driven Shannon insane when he was little. Clearly, Eddie had picked up where his parents had left off when it came to catering to Christopher’s every want and need. “Dad says I can have cereal so long as I have fruit too.” 

“Well, dad’s not up.” Shannon said in a forced light tone. Dad said, dad said, dad said. It was all she had heard the day before until they had gotten back home and then Christopher had sat himself next to Buck on the floor all night until it was time for bed. Shannon had offered him the side of the couch closest to her, Christopher had always been a cuddler and Shannon had, genuinely, missed having his small body pressed tightly against hers. Christopher had declined, though, but she hadn’t missed the way he had cuddled up next to Buck’s side instead. Perhaps she should have offered him her seat, the man had just gotten out of his full leg cast not too long ago, but there had been a bit of vindictive joy in watching him wince as he straightened out his leg to rest on the rug. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” She winked over her shoulder at Christopher’s little, tired face, and turned back to the cabinets with a frown. 

“Dad -.” It was like Christopher had summoned him. 

The door opened and shut on the other end of the hallway and Shannon… she had always been attuned to Eddie. She knew the cadence of his footsteps, the way he breathed, the way he would first look for Christopher and then look for her. Only it took longer than Shannon remembered it ever taking for Eddie to look in her direction - the door clicked shut behind him and his hair was a mess (and he had a small bruise, sucked into the skin of his collarbone that Shannon couldn’t help staring at when his shirt slipped down enough for her to see it. It wasn’t jealousy so much as rage. Eddie had belonged to her for the longest time, she had been the only person he had ever slept with, his first and only for so long. Any mark he had on his skin used to be because she put it there. And now she was competing. With a man who made Eddie laugh and, and… she was mostly ambivalent towards Eddie’s boyfriend, except that she wasn’t. She couldn’t help but think of how different things would have been if he hadn’t been around, if she hadn’t waited so long. Eddie’s face would have flashed with that anger again at something she said and it would have ended the way it always did, Shannon’s nails leaving a trail down his back and her mouth sucking a bruise into his skin). “Morning, Eddie.” Harvey greeted kindly. 

Shannon shook herself. She was happy, she was going to marry the most wonderful man, she had her son back (on Eddie’s terms, though. Shannon didn’t have Christopher so much as have time with him). “Morning.” Eddie waved, though, cordial and polite as always. Shannon could remember the way he used to touch her, soft hands on her hips as he walked by. He used to wrap himself around her, duck his nose into her shoulder and hold on while he woke up. 

He bypassed her completely and instead lingered over Christopher, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head and breathing in against his curls. 

What happened to the man she had married, she wondered. Where had she lost him? “Buenos días, bud.” Shannon gripped his cabinet handle tighter. 

She had always been jealous of the relationship Eddie had with Christopher. It was always so easy, so second nature with the two of them. Shannon had to work every second of every day to be a mother, to remember what it was she was supposed to be doing to keep Christopher happy and healthy and Eddie… Eddie just knew how to do it. And it didn’t make any sense to her, really! Eddie hadn’t had parents the way Shannon had - Ramon had been gone most of his childhood and Helena had thrust him into the role of man of the house much too early. He had always been good at it, though. Surprisingly tender even when Shannon had wanted him at his hardest. It only got worse one Christopher was born - Eddie was careful not to yell, he had cried the first time he had held him, Shannon had caught him singing Christopher to sleep, once, when he was on leave. He loved being a father and Christopher, obviously, adored having him as one. 

Christopher tipped his head back to rest it on Eddie’s chest, staring up at him like he always had - like Eddie was the hero in every story he ever made up. He beamed and leaned up, pressing his own kiss to the corner of Eddie’s scratchy, unshaven jaw (Shannon had always hated it when he looked like this. Unshaven, just rolled out of bed, face unwashed and hair still a mess. She preferred Eddie put together.). “Buenos días, dad!” 

That was another thing. Shannon hated the whole… Spanish thing. It was like they were trying to shove her out. When they were in Texas, Eddie and sisters would go on a whole rant in Spanish back and forth and Shannon would be left just trying to pick up on context clues. Helena had tried to translate what she could, and Sophia had always explained it after the matter. You could try to learn, Adriana had said with her nose in the air like always. Eddie had apologized, though, when Shannon had pointed out feeling left out of family conversations. 

Clearly, though, he was still insisting on teaching Christopher the language. She wondered if it bothered Eddie’s new partner too, or if Buck was perfect with that too. Shannon rolled her eyes at the thought, the man probably spoke Spanish himself. It was like Eddie had created him in a lab - young, tall, handsome, strong, stupid and yet, somehow, smart. She had noticed Eddie staring at certain kinds of men over the years, Buck certainly fit Eddie’s preference better than Shannon ever could. Eddie hugged Christopher from behind, smiled at him in a way that made a portion of her anger with him disappear, and rested his chin on Christopher’s bony shoulder. “¿Cómo era antes de que empezara a llover?” 

She scowled again. 

Of course. 

Eddie clearly wanted to ask Christopher something that she wouldn’t understand in order to keep their secrets. It was like he was plotting against her - Christopher fought her at every corner, he didn’t seem all that interested in doing anything but argue with Harvey, and if she had to hear one more time about just how great Eddie’s boyfriend was she was going to wring her own neck. “It was okay. We didn’t get smores, though.” Christopher explained. 

Eddie frowned and clocked Christopher’s disappointment immediately. “We can make some with bisabuela?” 

“In the backyard?” 

“Or we can make them in the oven here.” Christopher smiled excitedly and hummed, his little body shaking with excitement. 

Shannon closed the cabinet a little too hard and opened the next one - full of plates and ceramic bowls that were all mismatched and clearly second hand (but a good brand of second hand, she noted. The kind that could be microwaved and put in the oven if needed without even chipping the paint. Eddie’s family didn’t use those.). “Shannon,” Eddie called to her with that edge to her voice that told her that he was starting to get frustrated with her. She frowned at it - frustrated at her? She hadn’t even done anything yet but try and feed their child. “I’ll make breakfast.”

Shannon almost laughed. “You can’t cook.” She smirked over her shoulder at him. 

The last time Eddie had tried to cook he had managed to undercook chicken after leaving it in the oven for half an hour. Eddie rolled his eyes at her and something like a sharp satisfaction spiked in her belly. He was annoyed, good. “Dad makes eggs!” Christopher defended with a strong frown. “And… and crepes with bisabuela.” 

Bisabuela. Isabel Diaz had always been Eddie’s biggest enabler. She called him pet names and kissed his cheeks and pulled him into tight, long hugs. Isabel had told Shannon, very seriously, that Eddie was special. That he had a special heart that deserved to be taken care of. That he was soft, and that softness was his strength. Shannon had always been… uneasy around the woman. It was like she could see right through her and was just waiting for Shannon to make a mistake. “You can always have cereal.” Eddie said dryly, standing up and nudging her out of the way and towards the table. 

Her skin burned where his arm had touched hers. It had been… a long time since Eddie had touched her and things between them had always felt like a raging fire. It was an addictive feeling, even if Harvey’s hand on her wrist felt calm and cooling. “I thought you would have bought more.” Because his cabinets had been nearly empty, his refrigerator had been full of health food and pineapple juice, his freezer with meats and meatless substitutions. 

“It’s not like we expected company.” Eddie countered and grabbed the eggs out of the refrigerator, scowling at the milk like they had personally insulted him. 

Shannon could feel it, the fire growing between them, threatening to come to a head. She wondered how it would blow up, now that the bedroom wasn’t an option for them. “Harvey doesn’t like eggs.” She stuck her chin in the air and said. 

“Then he can have cereal.” Dismissive. 

Shannon bristled in frustration. Eddie had gotten so boring over the years. He had stopped arguing with her a week before she had left, but when she had shown back up he had shown her that he still had that passion inside of him. 

She wanted to taste it again. All of him was hers, he had vowed that a long time ago. It didn’t matter what a piece of paper said, anymore. He had belonged to her since they were twelve. He could have his fun, but he’d be back. He would always come back. “He -.” Harvey’s hand covered over Shannon’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay, Shannon.” He said with a bright, cordial smile. “I don’t mind cereal.” 

Shannon’s building excitement faded when Eddie turned back around, his face carefully expressionless.  “Cereal’s on the fridge.” He said with a nod and turned towards the oven. 

Something in her stirred. Anger, annoyance, arousal. 

Eddie was always so much more fun when he decided to play petty. 

Shannon carefully sat down beside Harvey with a small smirk. Oh, if he wanted to play, they could play. 

#ask tag #rewrite

[wildwren]

!!! Spoilers for 1899 !!!

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Whoops, I’ve got some more rambling, unhinged 1899 meta to share, this time about character arcs and fatal flaws. Sorry in advance. 

So, thinking about Singleton’s speech in Episode 7: 

“Every time, they make the same mistakes. And every time, they die. Because they can’t get rid of their emotions. But that’s what makes them weak. It’s human nature’s ultimate flaw. One shouldn’t base a choice on love, anger, hate. They’re just silly feelings that cloud the mind.” 

So, there’s a lot of different ways to interpret what’s going on in the simulation, and how involved Singleton, Maura, Daniel, Elliot, Ciaran, etc. are in its execution. For the purposes of this meta, and given the implications of the quote above, I am going to be working off the idea that the simulation is a test of sorts — one that can, hypothetically, be passed, if the characters make the right choices. In this case, the “right” choices are presumably logical decisions unaffected by their own emotions. However, they are continuously failing to overcome their traumas, their desires, their clouded minds: “Every time, they make the same mistakes. And every time, they die.” 

If the simulation is a test of sorts, then it’s one the characters are being set up to fail. They have all been given some sort of motivating instruction that pushes them into the drama — a letter or document that gives them the need to get on that ship, but which also embeds them with painful memories and strong emotional impulses — my brother lives in Brooklyn, the doctor who could save my life is in New York, the person I killed is in Hong Kong or Spain, the man who betrayed me is in that cabin, etc. etc. Additionally, we know at least some of them are being actively triggered, forced to re-live these traumas. Their fatal mistakes aren’t really failures, just human responses to emotional pain. 

So: what are their mistakes? How is the simulation testing them and how are they failing? And what does this reveal about the characters and their relationships? 

A couple other notes: for the purpose of this, I’m going to be focusing more on the secondary characters. The primaries: Daniel, Maura, Elliot, (and to a lesser extent, Eyk) have more mobility within the simulation — they are crawling around in tunnels in its understructure while everyone else is mostly just acting it out. For this reason, they are a little more complicated to grapple with, so I’m going to just set them to the side for now. 

It’s also unclear to me which beats in the disaster we see unfold are designed into the simulation and which are hacks executed by Daniel. How different is this loop from the ones before it? (“We’ve never gotten this far before”). Is Daniel a worm in the apple or just part of it? I don't think I can answer that question, so for the purpose of this meta, I’m going to assume that things are supposed to go wrong in the simulation, and that Daniel is sometimes altering the simulation’s design and sometimes just triggering its beats so he can move through the story more efficiently. I’m not going to spend a lot of energy trying to determine which is which. 

OKAY WOOF, damn you showrunners for making me word vomit about sci-fi babble when all I want to do is talk about CHARACTERS. 

So, I think the first big test point of the simulation comes when the coordinates are received from the Prometheus. Eyk is immediately drawn in by this message and changes course to hunt it down, thereby triggering the rest of the events that lead to the failed loop. Of course, Maura is also hunting the Prometheus, and it perhaps its their mutual (and mutually supporting) motivation that triggers the disaster. Still, Eyk has more power in the ship’s structure, and he lets his own trauma, his desire to hunt down his own ghosts, and perhaps his allegiance to Maura motivate his decision — at the expense of the interests of everyone else on that ship.

Eyk’s obsession with the Prometheus, in combination with the death of Ada, the mystery of the Boy, and the spreading “plague” on the ship, eventually leads to the mutiny. The mutiny is another big moment where we can see character motivations and triggers play out, on both sides of the conflict, and for this reason can be viewed as a test point that the characters are “failing”. Franz is an interesting character, because he isn’t really presented as one of our mains, and he doesn’t appear to be in one of the pods in the final scene, nor do we have evidence that he’s receiving trauma triggers like most of the others. Despite this, he survives long into into the disaster and makes many pivotal choices which drive forward the narrative. Namely, showing Ada’s body to Tove, arming the steerage passengers (thereby enabling the mutiny) and eventually, dying to save Tove. I’m interested in that dynamic, but don’t really have more to say than that he seems to be emotionally motivated by Tove and eventually fails the simulation in part because of some allegiance he has to her. 

It’s easy to frame the characters who side with Eyk as being more “good” or “just,” but their actions also contribute towards escalating the conflict to deadly levels. Here too, the characters are being motivated by their own personal dramas. Throughout the entire mutiny, Jérôme is being triggered by his traumatic memories with Lucien — another time when someone claimed power and status by force and tossed him aside as collateral — and he’s not willing to let that happen again. It’s less about Eyk or the Boy then about getting to re-do this painful moment and achieve a just end this time. Ramiro warns Eyk, but one gets this sense this is at least partly motivated by his desire to punish Ángel for Ángel’s mistreatment of him. Olek — oh, Olek — seems to me to simply have a self-sacrificial nature. We don’t really have the context on this, as we never see the full scope of his trauma memory, but whatever happened seems to be motivating him to invest his care in others at the expense of his own interests. This will also be his ultimate “failure.” 

The character who most pivotally escalates the violence on the side of the mutineers is Krester. His choice to tell Iben about the boy and to support her search for him seems to come from a self-hatred he cannot unlearn — the idea that he’s being punished for his own nature and must try to negate it. This self-destruction is consummated when he is one of the first to throw himself overboard during the calling,which is, I think, another test of the simulation — which characters are motivated enough to resist it and which are not? Who “fails” the call? 

(Again, I mean “failing” in the logic of the simulation — their failures are that they are humans who are not allowed to move on from their pain. This is a rigged test.) 

Our notable characters who fall victim to the calling are Krester, Yuk Je, Iben (she needs to be tied up but is clearly in zombie-mode) and Virginia, who only escapes in the knick of time because of Daniel’s override. Krester, as discussed above, is perhaps susceptible because of his own self-resentment. We know that Yuk Je never wanted to be on the ship in the first place, that she was dragged unwillingly by her daughter and regretted it vocally ever since. Iben is clearly susceptible to all sorts of callings, benevolent or not, and Virginia is fascinating, because her failure here seems to be her own isolation. Aside from her oppressive dynamic with Ling Yi and Yuk Je, she is quite solitary in the narrative. She prefers to control and manipulate those around her rather than getting close to them or relying on them for support. She clearly resisted the call for a while but ultimately fell prey simply because she had no one to tie her up. She was alone! This fatal flaw continues after she touches the virus and conceals the way it’s corrupting her presence in the simulation. 

By the time the storm comes around, the characters are left scrambling to save whatever individuals they can, even at the expense of the so-called “greater good.” Olek is the poster boy of this: he abandons the ship’s wheel to protect Ling Yi, and he succeeds, but at the cost of his own life and perhaps others. Anker falls prey to his own fatal flaw — his inability to walk away from Iben — and they die together. Lucien has spent the narrative pushing everyone away from him, driven by paranoia over his illness and his own deceits. But even so, Jérôme and Clémence futilely work try to save him, leaving the furnaces to do so. Ángel and Ramiro are able to set aside their conflict and trade honest affection, but not in time to save Ángel or turn the course on any other part of the disaster. 

Of course, we know it’s all useless: the simulation has already been deemed a failure, there’s nothing they can do either way, and therein lies the tragedy. They’ve actually overcome so much. They’ve set aside some of their own pain to better help each other. But this emotional catharsis was never the point! The simulation isn’t requiring them to heal their trauma, it’s requiring them to be inhuman!  

The biggest question that remains for me is what distinguishes the final survivors of the simulation: Jérôme, Clémence, Virginia, Ramiro, Ling Yi, and Tove. (And Maura, of course). By episode 8, the simulation is so corrupted that it’s hard to say how similar this is to previous runs re: final survivors. Did the same group make it to the end in the previous loop? What wiped them out in that simulation? How did Daniel’s hacks give them an advantage this time around? *massive shrugging gesture* Hey I never promised to have coherent theories here, I just wanted to ramble about characters!

Anyway, there are obviously a lot more “test points” to pull out from the story, nor did I touch on every character, but this already took me fucking days to write as is,,,, so. I hope it was interesting! I’d loveeee to hear peoples’ thoughts, piggy-backs, counter ideas, etc.

#1899 #1899 spoilers #1899 meta #my meta #putting on my clown costume for this one #this is a genuinely obnoxious thing to write im sorry #but perhaps i can know some peace now

[wolfiemcwolferson]

This isn’t exactly a fic request but like…for each of the F1 ships you write for, what is special to you about each individual pairing?

AHHHHH Anon, this has been making my brain go brrrr since you sent it yesterday and I'm sitting down while I wait for laundry and want to answer this first.

This kind of goes with the way I create stories, but I determine what kind of story I want to tell and work my way backwards so like, I wrote Maxiel first because the story I wanted to tell fit their dynamic and then I wrote a Piarles story because they fit the dynamic of what I wanted to tell (that story was almost Carlando, btw).

It always comes down to the dynamic that they have and how I can draw on that to tell the story I want to tell.

Maxiel for example is all about two people with two different backgrounds coming together - probably an element of miscommunication and feelings avoidance and etc etc. Daniel is so himbo to me and Max and I have a very complicated relationship, but I love him dearly. Maxiel is reluctant love. It's love that gets pulled from your chest without your approval. It's all consuming love that doesn't fade with time and distance no matter what you might want because it doesn't let you go.

Piarles is soulmates in every universe, you know? Like, there's a thing about making time for someone and choosing someone and having an ease with them that you don't have with anyone else. It's friends to lovers. It's instant soulmates. It's seeing someone from across the room and needing to know who they are immediately and not being able to sleep until you know everything about them.

Carlando is all about two people making each other better. I think about every single interview ever where Lando is talking about how Carlos made him comfortable in the beginning of F1 and every single time Lando pops up with Carlos, you can tell how comfortable they are together. It's your best friend waking up in your bed one morning and looking over at you and loving you in that moment. It's the way someone sees all your flaws but doesn't count them as flaws. It's love and affection and family wrapped into one person. It's how you meet someone so young and know even when everyone tells you that it's silly.

Galex - oh, I am so incapable of being normal about Galex. Look, the narrative of their friendship is already delicious, but there's something to me about Alex and George forced to persevere is two ways that are so different and yet exactly the same. How Alex and George are natural balances of each other. Alex who goes rogue at any point, who is so media trained that he manages to be unmanageable in a very controlled way and George is who would never - Mr. Mercedes, Mr. Control, Mr - Anyway. It's laughing with this guy you know has a painful crush on you only for the light to catch his eyelashes and then you have an oh moment on a beach somewhere. It's losing everything except for one person and one thing and in the end you don't lose anything at all. It's how you fall in love somewhere along the way and don't realize it until you're laughing into each other's mouths and whispering it into their skin.

And listen...I won't only write these pairings forever. I have a rare pair Pierre fic in the works.

I love these pairings though and I love the way they work together and bounce off each other.

#maxiel #carlando #piarles #galex #Pierre rare pair incoming #you ask I ramble #I go down with my ships tbh

[cigarettesandinevitablebetrayal]

Can I have 3 for Mateo, 13 for Rashad, 16 for Cassian, and 34 for Remus, for the Sidestep questions ask game? 👀

Mateo: 3) What is their villain name? Why did they choose it?

This is the funniest question because I've been struggling with this question for ages now. Within the FHR games, up until I do his final run, his villain name has always been Nexus. The connection between two seemingly random events. But I could never figure out what his armor design was. And Teo needs A Brand. It's important to him.

For a while, he was sharing a name with his mob. The Syndicate. Primarily because I needed a shorthand and I don't like the mobs not having a coherent name. But I still can't theme a suit around that for the life of me. So, for the time being (and hopefully permanently), his villain name is Mycotic.

He chose it because it implies being a part of a bigger thing, but not necessarily being the leader of it. He is a mouthpiece of the Syndicate and regularly the hand of them, as well, but to outsiders, it obfuscates that he calls the shots. And it references his resilience. Try to kill him, and he will simply keep coming back, and he will spread further each time.

Rashad: 13) Do they want to be well-known, or do they prefer to remain obscure?

This is a weirdly tricky question because the answer is "yes?". They want their message to remain. They want their actions to resound through time, for those who think of committing atrocities and grinding others under their heels in the names of profits to think twice, to remember that someone will come for them.

But, at the same time, Rashad doesn't want to be remembered as themself. They don't want the light to shine on them, as it were. They can stay behind the curtain. Let Sidestep be a symbol of hope to those who have known. Let Heartbreak be an omen to those who would consume anything in their greed. And let Rashad be simply someone who survived. Someone who lived and loved and died.

Cassian: 16) What is their best virtue?

Cassian's best virtue, like in all my characters, is the other side of the coin of his biggest flaw. It's his passion. His love. His ability to carve a home in his heart for others when the mood strikes. He does truly, deeply care about his mob. He cared so very deeply for the Rangers back when he was Sidestep. He loves Daniel with such a passion - despite the other things that complicate his emotions there. He would burn bridges and start wars for those he loves.

Remus: 34) Are they nostalgic for their sidestep days or eager to move on?

Oh, that's a tricky question, too. I'm gonna say no, though there are aspects of it that he wishes he had back. He wishes he had that wide eyed naivete that is fostered in ignorance. He wishes the world felt new and wide and wondrous again. He wishes he could have joy in the simple pleasures again.

But, also, he doesn't miss those days. He's having too much fun. He's not held back anymore. There are no pesky morals or social rules that can string him up anymore. Remus knows what he wants and, regardless of what's best for the city, he's going to take it. Sidestep was a young fool who sacrificed his own happiness for the ingratitude of others. Kingmaker will not make those same mistakes.

Ask Me Sidestep-Specific Questions

#thanks for the questions #mateo de la cruz #rashad basri #cassian barrett #remus ramirez

[thecrackshiphouse]

The D’Arbys enter the scene

Giogios babysitters. During the time that Dio didn't have access to his extended family or the pillarmen he still needed help in raising his son. He didn't trust many people easily but he was grateful when he met the D'arby brothers. The two men seemed to have traits that matched up with exactly what Dio was looking for. After a short time Giorno had grown attached to the brothers that became his baby sitters while Dio did his own work (and booty calls). In the time that the D'arbys had watched Giorno, Daniel had taught the young boy a few gambling tricks as well as how to keep a good poker face when needed. Those lesions may have been too good as Giorno in his adolescence became far too good at bluffing for his own good, at times beating his own father.

When it came to Terence, they have a closer bond with the games that they play. It started off with simple games to keep young Giogio occupied and out of trouble which quickly lead to weekly 'family' game nights which could hold many games such as Mario kart, Mario party, or Just Dance. Depending on the game Terence has to willingly lose, lest he risk the wrath of his employer, or the disappointed look in Giornos eye when he doesnt win. When Terence isn't babysitting or spending time with his dubbed nephew, he streams on Twitch and has gained a large following and sub count. Occasionally Giorno joins him for streams when hes suddenly asked to watch him or they simply want to spend time together. On those occasions they play Animal Crossing together or simple, non competitive games. As Giorno gets older Daniel teaches him more complicated ways of gambling, as well as ways to notice the flaws in others poker faces. These lessons helped Giorno very well when it came to the special 'tea' that Abbachio had given him and he made sure to thank his uncle once he was able to afterwards. Giorno cares deeply for both of his uncles, regardless of them being family or not. There have been a few times where Giorno almost beat Daniel in a round of poker, or texal holdem but he still has a long way to go before he properly beats his older uncle.

There are a few times where Dio gets jealous when Giorno spends time with the D'arby brothers, thinking that his son is choosing them over him, when that couldn't be farther from the truth. When Risotto enters the picture he's unsure of how to feel about the two. He does know never to make a bet with either of them after Daniel nearly took him out of house and home if it weren't for Dio making him return the winnings after everything was said and done. But he does enjoy watching Family game night when it comes to Just dance. Sitting on the couch behind Dio when he's up giving him the best view for what he wants to see.

When it comes to Mario kart, Terence is Toad, Dio is Princess Peach, Daniel always picks Mario for some reason, Giorno likes Rosalina (depending on which version of mario kart they play that time) and when Risotto plays he picks the skeleton koopa. In Mario party they tend to pick the same characters, except Giorno picks Daisy (unless its the more recent games) and Risotto watches and tries to keep Dio from punching either D'arby when someone steals his stars. The culprit is usually Giorno but he would never lay a finger on his son like that, so the uncles that have taught him all of their tricks get his wrath.

In Just dance, Dio always picks the Birtney Spears songs, or anything that will let him shake his ass for his lover in a teasing way, or try to entice him to join him in a round despite Risottos refusal for the most part. Giorno normally doesnt care what game they play, he's just happy that the people he considers family is together to play. Occasionally Bucciratti comes by with the gang to join in on game nights, leading to Risotto and Abbachio to both sit on the couch watching their respective partners dance, or play certain games with the others. These nights normally lead to Just Dance and or Mario Kart, and the most chaos and accusations of cheating. Dio (when he wants to cheat) uses the world to just slightly shift everyones finger to the side so it either slips off the button or analogue stick making them lose precious time in the game, usually allowing him to win when he's not having a good game. The only one who calls Dio out on this is Bruno, and this has lead to only one large argument that has caused game night to end early before someone actually got hurt. Afterwards Risotto. and Giorno talked them both down separately and came to an agreement for the next family game night and each one going forward. Things have since calmed down for game nights.

Trish meeting the D'arby brothers is an interesting thing. In such a short time she not only got new parents, but a brother, and uncles. At first she thought that Daniel was sketchy, but she felt comfortable enough around Terence to learn a few things about gaming from him. After a while she did warm up to Daniel, enough to learn how to gamble well enough to win Mista and Narancias entire snack stash for herself. Trish quickly became a true menace when it came to gambling since so many people underestimated her for her gender and appearance. With Daniels guidence she was able to win almost enough to get a regular student through the American college system with little need for loans or very little debt. Although once Risotto and Dio found out they had her save it rather than letting her spend it how she pleased. Then making sure either D'arby brother goes too crazy in teaching their kids any of their tricks for their respective forms of gambling.

Once Daniel took Giorno to a gambling ring, to see just how well he would do. He stayed in one bracket, to prevent the two of them going against each other too soon, and the two of them ended up meeting each other at the end before someone snitched about their 'relation' leading to them both being told to drop out or get kicked out. After some arguing they were both able to bluff their way out of getting into trouble and took home first and second place while the snitch got banned from playing there again.

#dioris #d'arby brothers #giornos babysitters #crackship #i will go down with this crack ship #mudad #Dio will always cheat at games #Giorno is shockingly good at gambling

[formulaonedirection]

important notes on a thesis i'm still not writing: carlos choking lando in a bowling alley to establish dominance vs lando letting daniel choke him because he is simply a very pretty but harmless trinket who is no threat to lando

First of all you ARE writing that Carlando thesis because we need to reclaim Carlando back from the weirdos, secondly HELP sdlfjsdlhf.

Unfortunately you caught me in a Dando mood and it IS my sacred duty to do Dando propaganda where I can so here is my teensy CARLANDO VS DANDO THOUGHTS:

Like the way he play fights with Carlos and goes down so easily when Carlos tackles him is VERY important. Just dumb giggling, stupid kid roughhousing!! One of my CARLANDO thoughts that some people might not share is that he loves playing this baby brother role for Carlos. Like goofy f1 rookie Lando who delights in being lovingly bullied. It's NOT a dissimilar role he plays with his friend group or with Quadrant!! And it's much closer to the Lando we get to see when he's really comfortable. But it's also not with any bite (even with the whole dicktapping ritual) none of that real actually awful gremlin-Lando you get with Max, or even that video of him building legos with Luisa.

The DANDO ROUGHHOUSING of it all is SLIGHTLY MORE COMPLICATED by the fact that he so obviously had a long-standing CRUSH on Daniel Ricciardo. E.g the whole "everything of danny ric" (not even getting into the whole Danny thing), doing a shooey on twitch, the million creepy instagram/twitter comments when he was still in F2 etc but also the way he used to try to get Daniel's attention

And then they became teammates and it was weird because it's always weird when your crush become a real person with real feelings and very real flaws and every thing people are saying about his aptitude makes Lando feel awkward and it's Lando so when he feels cornered he gets a little bit mean about it and it makes Daniel want to be mean too. 

So I reckon we do see a little bit more of mean gremlin Lando with Daniel but it's also built on a foundation of a stupid almost decade long schoolboy crush which is why their interactions are so strange (and delightful)!!! 

So I think Lando stays very still when Daniel moves to touch him because he's not scared of Daniel sure but he also doesn't want to spook Daniel!! I don't think he sees Daniel as harmless as much as he probably doesn't want to make things awkward again but also equally important is that he wants Daniel to likeeeee him and playyyyyy with him. 

ANYWAY IT'S INTERESTING TO ME! Carlos gets goofy comfy gremlin little Lando but Daniel gets more of weird mean gremlin Lando and they're both extremely what makes Lando Lando! I could talk about this for ages like also the way 2019 Lando is different from 2020 Lando who is ages different from 2021 Lando and looking at his dynamic with different people on the paddock over the years but I'm sleepy so I'll end it here 🤪

#did you ask for this definitely no but i need to Dando Defend!!!!! #anyway i'll be waiting for the carlando thesis #i got distracted halfway writing this so i just stopped writing i'm sorry asjdlhfjasdaz #asks

[hydrobromic]

okay. some more definitive thoughts™ about ck season 5. this show really works best when you switch your brain off, let anything that irks you slide out of your brain, and let it take you on a fun ride with some really funny and cathartic moments. that’s the way i consumed the season and so i had fun at the time, but am i going to ignore all harmful and oftentimes bad storytelling and themes just because this is a silly karate show and the creators probably didn’t consciously intend to imply some of the things they are implying with their character arcs? hell no! reading this fandom’s meta and watching y’all transform this franchise into something with beautiful thematic resonance through meta, fanfic, fanart etc are why i love this fandom so much. so know i’m about to be reblogging a lot of y’all’s content and thoughts in a bit.

here’s some more of my thoughts (positive and negative) under the cut

i felt that the main story line of this season (daniel and chozen vs terry) worked really well because the writers actually seemed to know how they wanted to progress this arc. daniel’s experiences and trauma have often been sidelined on the show because it’s johnny’s story. while johnny’s story is one that subverts the karate kid by adding complexity to johnny’s character (to mixed effect more on that later), daniel’s arc harkens back to the structure of the original movies, and the writers seem better adept to handle this.

the original movies set up daniel’s trauma caused by cobra kai’s methods and actions and his overcoming of his immediate adversaries through Miyagi’s teachings and methods. in cobra kai, we see daniel’s trauma response to the return of cobra kai through the seasons. and so in this season he has a clear arc - he’s been traumatized by terry, terry threatens and gaslights daniel while making daniel look bad, everyone but chozen thinks he’s being paranoid, he doesn’t want to hurt his family further so he goes the non-violence route and tries to surrender but terry hurts him, the people in daniel’s life realize the extent to terry’s violence and manipulation and they rally around him and support him, through support daniel is able to turn terry’s own teachings into Miyagi-do defence and beat terry.

it has a similar structure to the karate kid movies - daniel is being hurt, he learns how to defend himself/win without compromising his morals, good prevails. it’s a simple structure so the writers are able to execute it and make it feel so cathartic because of it’s resonance with the original movies. it’s a simple theme but a satisfying one: good wins over evil through friendship, family, and love.

one of the only ways this arc would have been better for me is if daniel had been the one to discuss his trauma. chozen seems to know what’s going on but daniel should have had a moment with amanda especially but also johnny where he is able to be vulnerable and talk about what terry did to him.

while i think daniel’s arc was good, i always have trouble with what the writer’s do with johnny. it’s no secret that billy zabka plays johnny so well. he brings such life and charm to the character and with some good writing his character could be so much more interesting. the problem is that while the show seem to have started out with the intention of examining johnny’s flaws and his flawed worldview (mainly toxic masculinity) the writers love johnny and violence too much to complicate his character and make the show more interesting.

this season especially, everyone in johnny’s life (carmen, shannon, robby, and miguel) all felt like props to uphold and justify johnny’s worldview.

for example:

the only way for robby and miguel to work out their differences is through a physical fight. while johnny tries to get them to work out through alternate methods, ultimately the ‘correct’ way to solve problems is through johnny’s preferred method of violence

both robby and miguel let johnny off the hook way too easily. yes johnny is trying to be better and be there for his kids but wouldn’t everything be much more interesting if this was actually hard work that johnny had to do rather than him show up for them once and everything be fixed

shannon! shannon!!! i can’t even get into this scene because it makes me so mad. make johnny own up to what he did

obviously the johnny and carmen having a baby story line was laughably bad. they didn’t have a functioning relationship last season but of course the creation of a heterosexual nuclear family will fix all that. carmen is reduced down into a nothing character whose love and sacrifice makes johnny into a better person. it’s a tired trope and other people have put all these points much better than i have but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. ALSO no one has any complicated feelings about it (not carmen, or robby, or miguel, or shannon or anyone?!?) 

i actually liked the scene where he redoes his house and does research but wouldn’t it have been more impactful if he did it because he wants a nice home for Robby to stay in and for Carmen to stay over. hell, he could have tried to learn some spanish for Miguel or look into skateboarding so him and Robby could bond, but no it’s pushed aside so he can start over with another kid.

these things annoy me so much because there is a nugget of a really good arc somewhere in here. Johnny is breaking the cycle of abuse that was inflicted on him and that he inflicted on others, and so much could be done with that. It’s messy, hard work, and requires a lot of reflection and apologizing (to daniel maybe????). While i think johnny learning to make friends and create a community around him is great because the support of friends and family makes it easier to break out of that cycle of violence and toxicity, they can’t just be there to pay lip service to the fact he’s a better person while his actions say otherwise and are framed as good. the frustrating bit is sometimes the writers get it right and make some interesting scenes that explore johnny’s character and sometimes they let him off the hook because they like violence and think it’s cool. this isn’t a prestige drama so it doesn’t have to be too complex but some consistent characterization of the people around johnny would go a long way of not rewarding johnny as if he’s making progress while actually he is remaining pretty stagnant in his worldview. 

Lastly, you know what i love in a story? found family. especially when a found family is filled with complicated relationships and messy history while still working to know each other better and support each other better - ck does this well some of the time (johnny and daniel (some of the time), daniel and chozen, daniel and amanda, carmen and amanda (this is a stretch because ck doesn’t see them as complex characters but at least they’re friends)

do you know what i hate in a story? when a found family is all neatly paired up into heterosexual couples as a happy ending because it supports the status quo. i love daniel and amanda and while carmen deserves better, i can see a way that her and johnny would work, but why oh why would they make chozen in love with kumiko this whole time??? why is heterosexuality a synonym for a happy ending while anything is else is either erased or seen as evil and deviant. they didn’t have to do this, and it makes me sad that the writers’ perception of families and love are so limited.

anyway, this got long and rambly towards the end but i’m happy to get this all off my chest.

#karate kid #cobra kai #cobra kai spoilers #ck spoilers #cobra kai season 5 spoilers #mine

[mythicalmongoose]

For a while now, I’ve seen complaints that Johnny hasn’t changed as a character. Or has changed but regressed in s4 or retreads old patterns ad infinitum. And I always get a little confused by that take because I feel like his has been one of the better character arcs on the show?

I’m not sure what people are waiting for. Character development =/= a character no longer making copious mistakes or having some big epiphany where they greet the world like Ebenezer Scrooge the next day and jaunt off to make amends with everyone they’ve wronged. Not all of their flaws go away and if they lessen, it’s gradually.

Johnny is always going to be a dumbass with a low emotional IQ. But he’s still a long way from where he started. For the most part, he’s not aimlessly meandering through life miserable anymore. He has a purpose. He can totally be derailed from it, but so far he’s gotten back on track. It happens; it would be unrealistic if it didn’t.

He’s more reasonable, better at recognizing when he fucks up and taking responsibility for that. To grab a couple of the more recent examples -- In season 4 he impulsively challenges Daniel to a fight and, despite initially handwaving away Miguel’s disappointment with his usual macho rhetoric, does ultimately realize that there’s probably a better way to work things out with Daniel.

But he’s technologically illiterate, accidentally drew an audience, and Daniel has had 24 hours to handwave Sam’s disappointment and decide, ‘No, this needs to happen, actually.’ He’s stubborn and refuses to take the out... Which is a character trait that’s part of some larger Daniel meta on the horizon, I’m sure.

Without going off on a Daniel + complicated grief + he’s a petty bitch (affectionate) tangent, “Don't you ever think you might be wrong about anything?“ is asked pretty reasonably. He’s willing to try talking it out again, but Daniel doesn’t want to hear the same “baseless argument” from the night before. And he has his reasons for feeling that way, but you really can’t expect Johnny to suss those out when even Daniel can’t and, even if he could, Daniel’s hangups aren’t his responsibility.

And then you’ve got what happens with Miguel at the end of the season. Johnny doesn’t have the context for why Miguel is so upset, and his emotional IQ is still perilously low. He fucks up but, when faced with the repercussions, immediately recognizes that, admits to it, and takes responsibility.

And, no, that isn’t something to applaud anyone for, but it IS character development. He can’t go back in time and fix past mistakes and he has a pretty limited skill-set when it comes to mending what he can. (Everything with Robby will go smoothly in s5, I am sure /s) He’s not a great person. He has fucked up and will, undoubtedly, continue to fuck up. At the same time, he is still markedly different than the Johnny we saw in s1. And, realistically, I’m not sure how much more you can expect without him becoming an entirely different character. Which I don’t really want, personally. I’m fond of this dumpster that is still on fire... but the fire is smaller now, less likely to burn down the whole neighborhood.

#johnny lawrence #cobra kai #ramblings #me rambling about daniel is inevitable #the s5 trailer has renewed my many ck feelings and opinions that clearly must be shared

[labrats-and-clonetroopers]

"I Won't Bury You Again" Ch. 1 - Leo Dooley & Chase Davenport, Lab Rats [Elite Force]/The Dark Tower (C.S. Lewis) Crossover

Masterlist 

Lab Rats/Mighty Med/Elite Force Masterlist 

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Synopsis:

Leo was the one who heard all of Davenport’s confessions in the elevator. He was the one who sought out Douglas, who had been the one to originally break into his and Marcus’ lab. He’s the one who’s been trapped in and escaped from a freaking parallel universe. 

He knows, better than any of them, that all the secrets surrounding their past will never fully come to light. 

But he needs to save his brother. And if that means chasing a ghost from Douglas’ past, then he will. No matter where it leads him.

Story Warnings: violence, minor character death, mentioned drug use, mild horror, moderate blood and gore

_______________

Leo knows. He knows that none of them, not Davenport, not Douglas, nor his mom, or Adam, Bree, Chase or Daniel, will ever know everything. Every part of the complex web of secrets and lies that connect their lives. 

He heard Davenport’s confessions while trapped in the elevator. Heard them, acknowledged them, and stored them away. Donald Davenport’s life before he clawed his way to success read like a nightmare. And while he is still an incredibly flawed man, Leo can respect that some things, some things should be left undisturbed in the past. 

But some things, they just nag, tug at his gut, as if some intuition is telling him that he needs to pull at this thread, that he needs to uncover it. 

Leo had always expected that Douglas had continued to keep secrets, that he would never reveal the full truth. Not intentionally, at least. 

And there’s always been something about Marcus’ story that never fully added up. A comment he made during their confrontation in Giselle’s lab, to Douglas. 

“You created me to betray someone I never could. But you, you I can betray.” 

He brought it up to Douglas one afternoon. Found him sitting alone in the dining hall, hunched over the table, frowning, looking at his phone. 

Leo pulled out a chair, sat down next to him. His uncle barely glanced up, “Oh, hey Leo.” 

“Watcha doing?” 

Douglas stilled. “Just looking through some old photos,” and he deflated, weary. 

It was an odd mood for him to be in. Leo frowned. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Douglas dismissed. “Anything going on with you?”

Leo shook his head. “No, just chilling. Enjoying having all the students and Adam gone for the day. Video-chatted Janelle. We have a date planned for Wednesday.”

“Sounds fun.” 

“It will be.” 

Silence settled over them. Leo leaned back in his chair. “So, I was wondering something.”

Douglas looked back up. “Wondering what?”

“About something Marcus said,” and he watched his uncle immediately stiffen at that name, “He said you had created him to betray someone, someone he couldn’t betray. Thing is, that doesn’t make any sense; he didn’t hesitate to betray Adam, Bree, and Chase.”

Douglas had lowered his head, fixated his gaze on the table. “He wasn’t referring to them.”

“Then who?” Leo pressed. “Wait a minute, if he wasn’t referring to them, then you didn’t originally create him to capture your kids…” 

“That was why I built him, technically. The whole situation was just a bit more complicated at the time.” Douglas corrected, then sighed. “Look, Leo, I really don’t want to talk about this.” 

“Well, you never talked about Giselle either, until she just showed up, and we both now how that turned out,” Leo asserted. He leaned over the table, looking Douglas in the eye. “Who did you create Marcus to betray?”

Douglas met the intensity of his gaze. “You need to trust me, Leo. Leave it alone.” 

#another ao3 story that i'm finally posting here #honestly i should've done it a while ago #as i've gotten a lot of good feedback there #leo dooley #chase davenport #brotherly friendship #family relationships #angst #mild horror #mystery #douglas davenport #i won't bury you again

[terrence-silver]

As powerful and in control and dominant as he is, do you think there’s anything that would make Terry forget all that and act like a kid again, like he’s so delighted, like snow or a puppy or something like that? I think that would be so cute to just see him happy and laughing with joy and not maniacally lol.

― I mean, we're shown he's immensely happy when John brings him that batch of 333 Sabeco beers and Terry jumps up with instant recognition, all smiles, yes, like a little kid. It isn't some lavish Chardonnay. It isn't some rare vintage import wine in refined company and it certainly isn't an expensive Martini with an even more expensive virgin olive garnish the likes people his class enjoy; it is just beer that associates him with his youth and the perhaps the rare stolen good moment he shared with fellow soldiers and his friends in Vietnam --- and boom, Terry’s face lights up and he appears almost undeniably innocent for a brief tid bit. Of course, the scene soon turns very, very sour seeing as what John does next, but for a brief second, we see a glimpse that Terry is made happy by surprisingly and unexpectedly simple things, considering how rich and refined he is. That much is literally canon.

― Petty mischief comes next, as a close second. Example being Terry's shenanigans in the nightclub circa the 80's when Daniel's tricked into breaking someone nose. Terry's all smiles and genuine excitement as he outruns security at the back entrance with this kid, so, as I always headcanon, I think Terry, in spite of being a grown and fully accomplished man, has a great many traits that one could attribute to a cheeky, misbehaving teenager causing a ruckus (which we can attribute to him going to war as a teenager himself and suffering from being repressed at that age). Terry enjoys that bit of freedom and adrenaline rush, almost like a hyperactive, overgrown child Daniel’s own age. Of course, it is done with a nefarious purpose in this particular context, but I feel Terry, throughout the years, indulged in petty mischief often and that he legitimately got as happy as a boy whenever he did.

― So, going off of two canon examples, and I did conclude this before, I am convinced Terry’s delighted in the purest way possible by day to day simplicity. Childish endeavors. Things that are free (irony) or cost very little (more irony) --- nothing’s for free, according to his own words, but a great many free things do in fact bring Terry the most satisfaction --- not that he would necessarily full-heartedly admit to this. Sure, scheming and wealth and outsmarting everyone and mingling with an upper class company might make him smirk. Might even have him laughing maniacally. Give out a mechanical, rehearsed chuckle. But, every time we’ve seen Terry truly overjoyed in an oddly pure manner is when he’s faced with commonplace pleasures. A nostalgic beer. Acting like an unruly adolescent on a night out on the town. Driving around a busted up Ford and pretending to be just some guy.

― As such, conclusion is, that Terry would exhibit this clean, sweet type of happiness you speak of in the face of being known and being accepted for he is --- all flaws and all himself. Happiness is being known. Being able to preform devotion and receiving it back in honest. Happiness is in a cheap, supermarket-tier beverage associated with a different era. Happiness is getting a slightly tacky tattoo with a good friend at the most ordinary of parlours. Happiness is having a cheesy Cobra Kai motto and handshake. Happiness is feeling young again and not having that youth polluted and practically stolen by war and trauma. For an immensely complicated, nuanced and complex, often contradictory man that is Terry Silver who can afford anything and anybody, true happiness, ironically enough, lies in the most simple things in the world.

#terry silver #kk3 #cobra kai #terry silver headcanon #terry silver headcanons #anons asking

[metabolizemotions]

S19 s6 & characters

(forgot about spoiler feature. edited to shorten)

I think in a way, the show had incorporated Andy as the protagonist better this season. The bunch at 23 was hard to root for. The disastrous 5b set a low bar, but I think it's improved considerably in s6, all things considered. We would never know what really happened bts and how much of what we were are results of the decisions were made by network execs. This season, at least they are building towards Andy’s captaincy at 19, and incorporating it into the storylines of the other main characters, in ways that address who they have been for 5 seasons. 

Many of the storylines were hard to watch as they unfold in terms of the discomfort level of the scenes and how well they were written and executed. The pacing of b/w and within episodes were a little off. Some episodes had too many loose ends that needed to be tied up, while some episodes were uneventful. Sometimes the scenes caused a tonal whiplash, and the editing made the episode itself even more jarring. It was a good season overall and there were some excellent scenes but imo I felt if some scenes were shuffled around, the season would flow more smoothly.  

The overarching storyline of mental health crisis was done well. Stefania's performance was always intuitive and conveyed so much w/o words. Danielle performed Maya’s spiral into a mental breakdown and her healing process brilliantly. Jack’s storyline was actually not bad, though I felt that it was carried by his scene partners. (I have nothing against Grey but his acting really didn’t move me…) I liked Vic’s storyline - the girls’ camp and her taking over Crisis One - a leadership position that focused on mental health. Barrett was great in expressing the gamut of emotions she experienced throughout the season, culminating in 617, when she finally broke down.

The mayoral race was ok as a tangential storyline. Dixon has been built up since s3 as the big bad, the SPD feud since s4 and Ross was introduced to fight the corruption within SFD and as Dixon's adversary since s5. Also what with the station being overcrowded with lieutenants and the boring clinic scenes. But it was not interesting. Seeing as S19 loves to create smoke w/o fire - Dean's lawsuit against PD, Pru's custody battle, Andy's SA lawsuit... the resolution seemed expected. I like not seeing Dixon again tho seeing justice served would have been more satisfying.

I hope Robel winning would mean a change next season. At least have good people in leadership positions and make the show more positive and aspirational instead of the constant depictions of trauma and the uphill battles against the Dixons. Give more screen time to show what a better world could look like, and show good people fighting the good fight having a happier life - at the least, having a life. 

I hope they flash out the storylines of the existing main characters instead of bringing on new characters and creating overarching themes and drama w/o satisfying resolutions (and glaring plot holes as plot devices).  Esp Carina's backstory, Maya's continued healing, Marina's domestic life, Vic's Crisis One leadership. I'm curious to see how the careers of Maya, Andy and Ross would evolve as leaders. Just want all the women to be badass at their jobs. Jack's found and bio family storyline with Marsha, Lila and Brooke could be interesting. (I don't mind him when he's not being weird and inappropriate or put into other people's relationships cos they don't know what to do with him.)

Some thoughts on the characters this season:

These characters are complicated, walking contradictions. I try to view it from each person’s perspective as much as I could - about a bunch of flawed humans with different traumas using coping mechanisms that have varying degrees of success or the lack thereof.  

It’s like everyone has been shrouded in their own fog, in their own versions of reality. 

I think ambition/ captaincy also somehow “unleashes the beast” and triggers the traumas. It is used to create drama and also bring out the underlying issues of the characters. Somehow, it seems to bring out their worst selves, the parts intricately linked to their sense of self-worth, their unresolved trauma and their unhealthy and ineffective coping mechanisms.  

Ben

Ben has always been struggling with juggling his passion and his supportive role in his family.  He was just realizing how he appeared to the others when he went rogue all those times. He was lecturing Carina about not following medical protocol, Maya about her projection of her personal issues on the Dixons, telling Travis n Vic to abide by HIPAA and later during the “mutiny”, he was the only one against it at first when he would usually be the one jumping in headfirst. Sometimes the irony was still lost on him as he thought Bailey was reckless in going undercover in the fake clinic while he always justified his breaking of rules cos he thought he was doing the right thing. I think it might be his mental health crisis arc after having to leave someone behind when he made it his mission to save lives after his friend’s accident. Is he re-evaluating what makes a hero?  

Travis

(In s3, a kid actually told him he should run for office cos he gave him an impassioned speech.) Travis being conflicted the whole time and dropping out and endorsing the other candidate is expected. He is an Asian American gay man who grew up in a Christian household with a homophobic dad who turned out to be gay. (Probably also in a tight knit and conservative Asian American church community.) His indecisiveness seems to stem from his conflicting sense of justice and inability to own up to his courage. And his lack of entitlement as seen from his minimizing the prejudice and abuse his community faced esp during Covid, in light of the murder of George Floyd. I think he needs to be pushed constantly out of his comfort zone for him to discover what he really wants and who he really is and also start to move on from Michael and seek happiness. He also confirmed that leadership positions did not suit him and he could not play the political game like Ross and Eli urge him to. 

409 was an excellent insight into Travis and Vic, and their friendship (and why this is my fav dynamic after Marina.) Travis calling Vic reckless, selfish, inconsiderate and lack of boundaries while Vic calling Travis judgmental, controlling and expecting people to behave a certain way. The irony of Travis finding it hard to move on while Vic wanting to move on quickly to avoid feeling the grief. But both cos they feel too much but cope differently. Yet they both fear the end when they are still in the thick of it.  

Vic

I think Vic was having a bit of an existential crisis regarding her work and she projected her own fears about her own relationship with Theo onto Maya and Carina. Their locker room talk was a foreshadowing of the other shoe dropping. Vic couldn’t believe how perfect Theo was… and the shoe dropped… we see the other side of him. She has always been using humor and gossip to distract herself from her own issues. She tended to stuff her feelings down, since she was a kid, her fears as a young black woman, and the grief of her losses - her grandmother, her drama teacher, Ripley, Dean... Until they explode - like her smashing tiles or snatching a baby during a Crisis One call.

I think this rough patch in her relationship would also be a part of her personal growth as this is her first relationship past the honeymoon phase. She has been trying to help Theo who has been supportive but was in a bad place mentally. It seemed that as the season progressed, she developed more empathy and became more in tune with the feelings of others. (In s4, she expressed interest in psychology when talking to Diane.) Going thru her psychology classes and being around Diane also equipped her with skills to help herself and others. She had shown her unique combination of skills in Crisis One work - her empathy, her quick thinking, her improvisation skills perhaps developed as a theater kid. But she would still need support as she dealt with her unresolved trauma and the emotional exhaustion from her work.        

Jack

Jack was abandoned and had and lost a foster family. He confused lust for love, like Andy said they both did. Each time he thought he fell in love and wanted to settle down, he was actually wanting to fill a void. The other party always knew he was not in love with them but in love with the idea of love and family. I think growing up, he learned to be needed as he took care of his foster siblings. He is kind, empathetic and helpful but he never learned boundaries and confused caring with interfering and often overstepped when it came to people in his life. Ironically, he lacked self efficacy and often succumbed to self pity and learned helplessness. He was never held accountable for his actions and never developed emotional maturity and better coping mechanisms.

His conversation with Travis seemed to show his self-awareness of the changes in himself - the loss of ambition and confidence. As I mentioned, it is interesting to see Brooke, a sort of nature/ nurture comparison to Jack. Similar DNA, dissimilar upbringing. Brooke seems more emotionally mature. He told Marsha that hanging out with Brooke made him miss his foster siblings more. I think it’s his lack of a constant in his life, of the time when he first had a family. So meeting Lila is very significant for him and seems like an anchor for him to grow and heal. (I don’t hate him, I just hate that the writers need to have him hijack the storylines of others and make him the hero and when he makes mistakes, he is somehow the victim when he tends to put the blame on others instead of owning up.)

Maya, Andy and Jack

Going back to the captaincy drama in s3 involving Maya, Andy and Jack (which is another long discussion but all three were at fault then, others too…) Having gone thru their mental health crisis recently, Maya and Jack are taking a step back in their ambition and focusing on their mental health and the relationships in their lives. Andy is back in the game, this time against different players.

Maya and Theo

To me, there seemed to be some // drawn b/w Maya and Theo. Theo as a POC and his burden of carrying his dad’s legacy. Maya as a queer woman in firefighting and her strict conditioning by her abusive dad. They both have a chip on their shoulders following their stints as captains. Maya was right about Theo projecting his experience on hers cos he would not understand the misogyny. Just like Maya wouldn’t understand the racial prejudice he must have faced. But their demotions were different in nature. Maya cared about her team and tried her best when she was captain. Just like Theo. Maya’s start was rocky and she didn’t really have the guidance of her superiors nor the team’s support, esp. Andy’s. Theo had both but he was stuck in his own head a lot with his unresolved trauma over Michael’s death and his doubt about his ability as a captain. 

Theo

When Beckett was captain, Theo was constantly insubordinate and challenging him. When Andy was trying to help, he saw it as her being insubordinate and the team’s actions as sabotage. To make up for his insecurities as an outsider and his imposter syndrome as captain, he overcompensated. In wanting to be the opposite of Beckett, he micromanaged and overcompensated to an extent that made him a bad captain in another way. 

I think as we are seeing the other side of Theo, Vic is too. He also has this side that is judgmental, self-righteous and lacks self-awareness and empathy. He has a tendency to jump to conclusions and stick to them vehemently. He defied a direct order, pulled a cowboy move and forgot about Vic - after his angry lecturing of Maya and Beckett. He accepted the captain’s position despite reiterating that he didn’t want it. But he did not give Vic credit for the fire investigation despite her substantial role in it. He could be condescending, sexist and dismissive, as evident at the barber shop. He complained that Vic wasn’t understanding and compassionate but was dismissive of her feelings and was defensive when she tried to understand. He shut her down and called her “Diane” as an insult and avoided her in fear that she would psychoanalyze him and he had to face his issues. 

I think he has been compartmentalizing the parts of his identity - his heritage, the way he behaved around his old neighbors and the way he presented himself to the wider world. Code-switching, as Vic pointed out. He seemed to want to keep his private persona “Theo” separate from his work persona “Ruiz”. But he was also micromanaging his relationship with Vic. He wanted to control their interactions and made everything about him. He interpreted her support of him as interfering and her support of Andy as betrayal. (I love Ripley and Dean but he kinda grew on me and I really want to root for him for Vic's sake, but it got harder and harder. Sometimes he was worse than Sullivan. The finale seemed to set up a redemption arc for him in s7.)

Andy

Andy’s support of Theo was as much about her being reciprocal as it was about her own growth. She has always been good with people - starting with dealing with Pruitt and being surrounded by a large family than the uncles at S19 as she was growing up. It doesn't seem like she has stepped out of Pruitt’s shadow entirely. Growing up with Pruitt, an overbearing dad w/o respect for boundaries, she is used to resisting and rebelling. She is still constantly challenging rules and her leaders. But she used to bring her personal affairs and emotions into work and could be rash and reckless. She was often jumping into situations without much consideration cos she was eager to save people. She did it when Sullivan was captain and during Maya’s initial captaincy. She pinned Rigo’s accident entirely on Maya but after Cooper’s accident, she told Theo not to immediately throw Beckett under the bus. In her marriage to Sullivan, she learnt to support others as well as learning to stand up for herself more, against his controlling and patronizing ways. After honing her skills at 23, she is increasingly able to keep her own emotions in check at work while handling all the big egos and personalities around her and rally people to take action. 

Andy, Theo, Beckett

But since her return to 19, she had been going about things her way - to make 19 the way it used to be to her. In a way that Maya fights hard not to be like Lane, Andy wants to be like Pruitt and continue his legacy. When Beckett and Theo were captains, she often challenged them and was insubordinate. Beckett was too careless, apathetic and slow to react and sloppy in execution. Theo was too careful to the extent of micromanaging, closed off and too afraid to take action. Andy and Theo seem to be two sides of the same coin, both being legacy kids with something to prove. They are both not fully confident in their leadership. While Andy is more flexible and open to other perspectives in her decision-making while Theo is the opposite. Andy often reacts before she thinks, which sometimes situations do call for and she has good intuition in fast-evolving situations. All their styles could put both the rescuers and the rescuees in danger. All three are not ideal captains in different ways. 

For the sake of comparison, in Maya’s later captaincy, she was level-headed, was open to her experienced team’s input to make more informed decisions and could see the bigger picture and did what was right and for the greater good. She cared for her team and the people she was helping, unlike Beckett. She was fast on her feet and intuitive like Andy. She was careful like Theo.   

I want Andy to be captain. I want her to have the chance to grow into it. She has earned it. (Also it has been her storyline since the very first episode and I wish the captaincy drama would finally be put to rest.) I think Andy not accepting the interim captain position could in part be her self-sabotage as women tended to do when they were not convinced they were fully qualified. While men often thought they were qualified when that was not the case. Like Sullivan, who had no qualms applying for battalion chief when he was still a lieutenant or to step forward for captaincy again despite his history. 

Ross

Ross is a complex character. As a chief who has a relationship with her subordinate, a parallel can be drawn with Ripley. As a WOC, parallels can be drawn with Herrera and Hughes. She is also where Bishop wants to be in future, a female chief. To me, she is a good chief. Not a great one yet. I think the intention is to make her meet 19, have them challenge her existing beliefs and grow into a great chief. She is still straddling her entrenched mindset as part of the problematic system and her growing desire to challenge the system. I love her whenever she went toe to toe with Dixon. But I’m less a fan when she let her personal life affect her work and became hypocritical, biased and self-serving. I think the last episodes attempted to show that she has changed, but imo I’m not totally convinced with the framing about her challenge of the system as a feminist act w/o also addressing the injustice Maya faced from the system, and from Ross herself.  

#station 19 #comments #Maya & Carina on other posts #sorry for the post bombing #posting them all at once cos they’re inter-related #the posts really got super damn long #just sorting out the many tots #simply my takes #sorry for any errors and repetition #most of these were in my drafts for a long time #have been hesitating posting them #just putting them out there #maybe start some discussions

[mcl38]

"talentless, winless drivers who haven't accomplished anything" WOOOOOW THE AUDACITY THESE PEOPLE HAVE IS LAUGHABLE. i think they're forgetting that their driver was the reason why mclaren lost fourth place in the constructor's championship. also oscar hasn't even raced in f1 yet, of course he's "winless" 😭 but if they really wanna go there, let's compare junior careers then, as if oscar doesn't have 3 championships back to back. ALSO, it wasn't lando or oscar who lost a seat in f1, and it most definitely wasn't them who the team literally preferred to pay millions to get rid of and replace with a rookie, instead of letting him drive for the team one more season. if i were a staniel i would start worrying about the fact that christian horner has said he doesn't plan on giving daniel a seat and i would leave mclaren alone.

i mean. im not gonna get mad abt smth someone paraphrased with a good deal of bias, which is why im not taking 'talentless' literally (although winless is just a fact, dont mind me crying in the corner abt sochi). i think the position daniel fans are in is complicated, where he was very much regarded as one of the most talented drivers on the grid or, by many people, the most talented championship-less driver around 2017, scoring top 3s in the wdc etc. and also i think a lot of daniel's talent was... flashy? bc of the way the red bull cars worked at the time, he got to be 'king of the late breakers' and 'lick the stamp and send it' etc bc the red bull, for all its flaws and for being the slowest of the big 3, allowed for a very visually impressive overtaking style

so u have a driver lauded by the media / dts / etc as exciting and talented and deserving of more, and then with some vague but quite possibly real team tensions at red bull he's suddenly demoted (well, he runs away) to a midfielder. ...and then he steps into a freak of a car that doesn't get along with him at all, with a young teammate who isn't visibly struggling at all. so then daniel fans have 1. the deja vu of a team 'mistreating' their fav and also 2. the cognitive dissonance of knowing their driver is talented but not seeing the proof. you can imagine why they're freaking out the way they are. that said, i think the best thing they could possibly do rn is.... just not keep up with mclaren. theyre allowed to feel the schadenfreude if (knock on wood) the mcl60 isn't fast, but i just Do Not Get why u would torture urself by watching the reveal of a team ur driver has cut ties with and expecting to see ur driver?? im picturing daniel stans watching the reveal like that clip of adam sandler going 'i'm waiting for them to play gangnam style'

for the record, as someone with deep checo sympathies, i think the idea that daniel is in contention for the red bull seat is just as ridiculous as the idea that mclaren are gonna do a best daniel dick jokes compilation for their reveal. that said ive never been able to predict the batshit decisions that horner and marko cook up in milton keynes so eh

#anon #ask #anti ricciardo #idk how to tag this so that ppl dont see it in the tag... pls let me know if it accidentally shows up

[ballisterboldheart]

is it cheating to ask for the karatecule? uh Amanda & Carmen

fuck yeahhhh i'll do the karatecule :) minus chozen bc i already did him

carmen :)

i love carmen so much and i wish the fandom appreciated her more 😩 while she's not thee most developed character on the show theres such a unique experience she portrays that makes me :) to think abt. like being an immigrant woman trying to raise a family and having no men to rely on. the fantasy of finding a stupid sexy man who would do anything for your family. ugh its so special to me no one understands.

amanda

amanda is such a fun character too 🥰 she's so polarizing but tbh she's not like. that complicated in her decisions? she didnt know she married an 80s movie protagonist 😩 once she Gets it though its clear how much she loves daniel, but she also doesn't want to stop being an Adult abt the situations they get dragged into, you know? ugh. love her so much.

daniel

ugh he is SO special to me i can't even put into words. which is funny because i was a #johnnygirl for most of the series then one day a switch flipped in my brain and i realized i would do anything for mister larusso <3 he is my sweet little babygirl and seeing his journey for the last five seasons has been soo fun <3

johnny

HA first bingo. although i say he's never done anything wrong knowing he has done so many things wrong <3 but thats part of his charm, man who is so very very flawed picking up the pieces one by one :) im so normal abt him i gave him my gender. my special little guy who's an attack dog and a budding feminist <3

#s.ask #youandthemountains #im sooo normal abt the karatecule soooo normal incredibly normal