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askmerriauthor · 3 years

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Star Wars: Visions thoughts and discussion

Been on a bit of a Star Wars binge lately. Getting ready for the Book of Fett and the return of The Mandalorian soon, just finished playing the Jedi: Fallen Order game, and recently "Star Wars: Visions" dropped on Disney+ (not to be confused with the, like, half-dozen other Star Wars properties that use "Visions" as their title). If you've got the streaming service and haven't watched the series yet, I can honestly suggest you should do so. The whole thing is a series of very short episodes and is entirely non-canon to the setting, so you don't even need a hard understanding of Star Wars to enjoy it.

In fact, it's actually better if you don't know anything about Star Wars going in. Spoilers and brief episode discussion after the jump.

Episode 1: The Duel As soon as I saw a lightsaber umbrella and a R2 droid in a hat, I knew this one was going to be a must-watch.

I REPEAT. LIGHTSABER. UMBRELLA.

Solid kick-off for the short series. Dig the aesthetic, dig the classic samurai vibe (even if it's more of an homage than a direct application of the style), dig the simple story. The particular animation style they chose here was a little wonky but I quickly got used to the visuals and loved a bunch of the design choices too much to care. This one was very action/style-focused and clearly chosen as the leading episode for that reason, which I don't fault them at all for.

Episode 2: Tatooine Rhapsody I'm sorry, I don't recall giving Star Wars permission to be this fucking adorable, how dare you.

The tale of a Padawan survivor of Order 66 who makes a new life for himself not with the power of the Force, but with the power of Rock and Roll and Friendship. Bitchin'. Super adorable, semi-chibi art style that's honestly ringing, like, a dozen different bells in my head for trying to figure out all the different styles it's drawing from. Good fun, if a bit bland in the end. The biggest problem is the music. The story relies on "using music to save the day", which is fine. But when you use that trope you need an absolutely face-melting banger of a performance, which this just doesn't have. An enjoyable entry all the same though. Not bad, not great, cute designs; the quirky story of how Jabba the Hutt got a new slave band to play at his den.

Episode 3: The Twins This entire episode is animated by the team who brought us Kill la Kill and that should really tell you everything you need to know.

You know how if you get a bunch of little kids together, they'll start playing make-believe games where they just invent stories and plot twists and super powers like "I have whatever you can do, but infinity plus 1 better!" shit like that? That's what this short is. It has only the vaguest allusions to the setting proper and immediately hurls every semblance of consistency, logic, and sense out the window with both hands. It is 1,000,000% style over substance.

Okay, y'know what, no, that's not enough to describe the utter insanity this episode is. All I can find online is pictures of the main villain character pulling a General Grievous impression or the protag snaring lightsaber whips on his lightsaber, but that is fucking tiddlywinks compared to where this episode goes.

There is a scene in this short where the protag, who is ghost-riding the hood of his X-Wing upside down in space without a space suit, super-charges his lightsaber into a giant rainbow of FUCK YOU GEORGE LUCAS with the power of familial love and fabulousness, using said rainbow super saber to CUT AN ENTIRE STAR DESTROYER IN HALF WHILE ACCELERATING TO HYPERSPEED, all to save his twin sister's life by making her explode in a somehow non-harmful manner.

This short is utterly nonsensical drivel and yes I would like more right the fuck now, please and thank you.

Episode 4: The Village Bride Wait, we're actually trying to tell a reasonable story in this series? Sorry, I was still on a sugar high from the previous episode. Lemme sit down.

The Village Bride is great. Excellent short that's just dripping with atmosphere and a slow, purposeful pace to its writing. It's short and sweet with little focus on the Force-using characters themselves, which actually serves to its credit. Even in the Star Wars universe, the Ainu people can't catch a fucking break. Easily one of my favorites in the whole run.

Episode 5: The Ninth Jedi The fact that two characters in this short have Sasuke's haircut was extremely distracting. But I actually really enjoyed this entry overall.

Despite playing extremely loose with the established lore around how lightsabers work, this episode over all others really embraces the original setting and tells a slow-burn story about the potential revival of the Jedi Order. A little meandering at times, but it's a solid piece and well worth exploring. Of all the shorts in the series, this one has the greatest potential to actually continue on as a standalone series or be folded into the canon franchise. Main protag is an adorable bean and I love her.

Episode 6: T0-B1 This episode is simultaneously a love letter to Astro Boy and a giant middle finger to Star Wars lore purists.

The tale of an imaginative Droid named T0-B1 who dreams of becoming a hero like the Jedi he's heard so many stories of. This short gets extra credit for being so unyieldingly stylish and charming. On the surface of its presentation and story choices it seems like it doesn't know anything about Star Wars lore, but it's actually packed full of some pretty deep cuts that show the folk behind it do know what they're talking about and just don't fucking care what purists have to say. The entire thing is just "Yeah, I'm ignoring your lore, but I'm doing it in a fun way that makes the setting more interesting, and I'm so genuine about it that you can't be mad at me". I can respect that. Plus the old dude in that screenshot is an armless Jedi who's retired to be a botanist and that's just fucking cool.

Episode 7: The Elder I'm Episode 1, but better.

This one. This shit right here. This is the good shit.

I'm sure y'all have heard before that Star Wars is directly inspired by Kurosawa and samurai films in general, but The Elder really digs into that hard. Where Episode 1 styles itself after a samurai tale, Episode 7 is a samurai tale. Subdued, methodical storytelling, slow-burn pace, charming dialogue amid believable characters, and a truly intimidating villain who provokes a brief but striking duel. This is my vibe. I crave more of this. Far and away the best short of the entire series.

Episode 8: Lop and Ocho Oh for fuck's sake, there's going to be so much porn of this bunny girl character, isn't there?

This entry is another that kind of meanders with the story it's trying to tell and plays very loose with the lore. It reimagines a lot of what we know of the Jedi/The Rebels and Sith/The Empire into a feudal faction-based conflict akin to what you'd see in a period samurai drama. Modernization and callous industry crushing the spirit of the people and breaking apart families. A decent work overall, but nothing really all that impressive in the end. It takes too long to get going and then peters out halfway through its pay-off for some reason.

Episode 9: Akakiri The fact that I had to look up this episode's name and scenes online and still could not remember anything about it should tell you a lot.

The series ends on a downer with the dramatic tale of a fallen Jedi who sacrifices himself and succumbs to the Dark Side. Turning evil for... the greater good? Wha? Had some pretty neat visuals, but I genuinely cannot remember a damn thing about this episode or its characters. Big swing and a miss in terms of impact.

#star wars #star wars visions #sw visions #animation #anime #spoilers

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anotherfacelessauthor · 3 years

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Sirius’ new style - excerpt from By The Moon

Year 5

September, 1975

Remus Lupin was already sitting down in the compartment, legs tucked into his chest, eyes glued to the most recent escapist novel he’d found over the summer, when he heard the door open. As Sirius Black walked in, sporting a leather jacket, ripped skinny jeans, and a black eye, Remus thought he’d forgotten how to breathe.

He looked more confident than ever (not that confidence was anything Sirius had ever lacked) and casually leaned against the doorframe, a few cheap silver necklaces swaying around his neck. He could hear the faint click as they rattled against each other. Remus got the strange urge to take his picture—capture the moment before it was over and could leave his mind forever. He also wanted to submit to new, surprisingly strong impulses, screaming at him to reach out and grab the jewelry in his hand, pull the other boy into a fierce kiss—“‘Sup Moony?” Sirius asked innocently, as if nothing had changed since they’d gotten off the Hogwarts Express a few months prior.

“Sirius! You’ve—uh… changed,” was all Remus could spit out, mentally banging his head against the wall. You’ve changed? That’s all you’ve got? Your best mate got really fuckin’ hot over the summer and all you can say is you’ve changed?

But Sirius laughed it off, brushing a hand through his long hair. His nails had chipped black paint and a few shiny rings were scattered—one on his thumb, two on his ring finger, one in the middle—“Yeah, I switched up my style a bit haven’t I? Had a new friend help me out with that. D’you like it?” His demeanor shifted just slightly, from completely carefree, to a bit more interested. Remus barely noticed.

Like it? Bloody hell—wear that everyday and I’ll never focus in lessons again—

“Looks good, yeah." Remus swallowed. "More you.” He paused, wondering if he should address… “What happened to your eye?”

Sirius looked confused for a second, as if he’d completely forgotten about the giant bruise covering half his face, “Oh, this old thing? Nothing special, just—”

But Remus had stood up to get a closer look, revealing just how much taller he’d gotten over the summer and the rest of Sirius’ sentence stuck in his throat.

“Bloody hell Moony, you’ve grown!” Sirius exclaimed, stumbling back and looking Remus up and down, trying to swallow back all the thoughts that had been swimming in his head all summer. Sirius tried, and failed, to hide the shock as he bumped up against the sliding glass doors of the compartment. He couldn't look away. Remus looked effortlessly cool, sweater and jean jacket and another book hanging loosely, forgotten in his hands. The soft curls, the familiar freckles, the healing scars—Sirius felt warmth rising in his cheeks. Who’s that one person that feels like home… who holds your world in the palm of their hand without either of you noticing? He shook off the memory like a dog shaking off water and sat down.

Not a problem for today.

Before the moment could turn awkward, the last two Marauders showed up, babbling about their summers and how James was back and better than ever, ready to win over Lily Evans.

“Merlin, James, are you ever going to give it a rest?” Remus joked, turning away from Sirius to avoid staring. He felt himself falling back into the mess of yearning and want that had consumed him in third year, and Remus was desperately trying to claw himself out. With the OWLs coming up, he had no time for hopeless pining. Plus, he was still curious about the black eye but figured if Sirius didn’t tell him alone, he certainly wouldn’t be more willing to do so in front of the others.

***

Something that took both Sirius and Remus by surprise on the train ride was the astonishing number of girls who stopped by the Marauder's compartment to wave at Sirius, and giggle when he waved back, running a casual hand through his hair.

It was only after the fifth group passed by, a couple of Ravenclaw fourth years, that James asked, “Oi, Pads. How’re you doing that?” He paused, “And d’ya think it’d work on Evans?”

Sirius just shrugged, “I’m not doing anything. Just my natural charm—plus I got better looking over the summer. It’s a shame it didn’t happen to you—” he was cut off by James’ fist knocking into his shoulders, right on one of the healing bruises, causing Sirius to take in a sharp breath. He tried to play it off, knocking James right back, avoiding Remus’ eyes, but he could tell he’d noticed.

Lily stopped by as they were still touselling—to the excitement of James, who immediately straightened up and ruffled his hair, and the second hand excitement of Peter—but she barely acknowledged them, turning instead towards Remus.

She crossed her arms, leaning against the compartment door. “What are you doing?”

He furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Prefects are meeting in our carriage in five minutes, c’mon get changed!”

“Oh shit—” Remus began rummaging through his things frantically.

The other boys sat back in astonishment. Peter was the first to speak, “No.”

“You’re saying—”

“Our Moony—”

“A prefect?!”

Remus dug out a shiny badge, and the compartment exploded once more.

“How dare you—”

“Why didn’t you tell us!”

“Does this mean you can take points away from Severus when he’s being a blood-purist prat—” James turned around to face Lily awkwardly, “Sorry.” He looked back at Remus and whispered, “But does it?”

Remus sighed, still digging around for his robes. “Yes, I’m a prefect, I got the letter over the summer. I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d act like this, and no, James, I will not be taking away points from Slytherin unless someone actually breaks a rule.”

“Damn. Guess that’s why Dumbledore made you prefect over me.”

“Yeah,” Lily scoffed, rolling her eyes, “that was the only reason why.”

Remus stumbled out of the compartment, pulling on his robes and pinning his prefect badge to his chest. He and Lily were halfway down the corridor when Sirius came running out. Remus tried not to think about how perfect he looked, hair flowing as he jogged.

“Rem!” He held up a red and gold tie, and Remus looked down, realizing he didn’t have his. His cheeks flushed red.

“Oh, thanks,” he said as Sirius caught up with them, panting slightly. “I, uh—”

“Yeah, you can’t tie a tie quickly Moony, I know. We’ve lived in the same dormitory for four years now.” Sirius stepped forward and began wrapping the fabric around Remus’ neck and popped up the collar on his white shirt, having to reach up slightly now that Remus stood almost a head taller than him. Remus was hyper aware of how very close to him Sirius was standing, feeling every brush of his soft hands, cold rings against the nape of his neck sending a new swarm of butterflies.

Lily stifled a giggle while Sirius’ hands flew, “You’re a prefect and you can’t tie a tie?”

“I can! It just… takes a few tries to get it right.”

Sirius tightened the knot, laying the tie flat and tucking it into Remus’ sweater. Remus hoped he couldn’t feel his heartbeat racing. It was so loud in his own ears he could hardly hear anything else. “There you go!” He adjusted it once more, laying the collar flat. “Good luck in there. Don’t let them turn you into a goody-two shoes prat—no offense Lily—”

“None taken.”

“And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Got it?”

Remus held his hands up in surrender, feeling like he was going to burn up if Sirius stayed that close to him, just a breath away, for even a moment longer. “Got it, Pads.”

They stood there for half a second before Lily tugged Remus away, saying, “C’mon Remus, we’re gonna be late,” but it felt like ages. Remus, looking into Sirius’ stormy grey eyes, which were so intently fixed on him, as if he were everything that mattered in that moment. Remus shook his head, trying to erase the shock. He was making things up again, feeding into a third year fantasy of a Sirius Black who liked him back, and now Lily was dragging him toward the prefect’s compartment.

“Did you see the way he looked at you?” Lily whispered, pulling on his sleeve.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lily.” Remus tried to keep his emotions concealed, his face stony.

“You don’t still like him, do you?” When he didn’t respond, she squealed with delight, “Oh you do! This is so exciting! Who’s gonna—”

“Lil, please don’t do this. I don’t wanna get my hopes up all over again. He’s not even gay! And he doesn’t know I’m—”

“You haven’t told them?”

Remus scratched his neck awkwardly, “Well, I was gonna get to it… and then I just—” but before he had to make up some lame excuse as to why he hadn’t come out to his three closest friends, the pair reached the door to the prefect’s carriage and hurried in.

Remus barely listened the whole train ride. The Head Boy droned on and on about ‘personal responsibility’ and ‘being model students’ and some other shit about the prefects’ duties which had already been listed in the letter sent over the summer.

He tried not to think about Sirius Black and his new clothes and long hair and black eye, but it was useless. He couldn’t stop replaying the moment Sirius had come into the compartment over and over again in his mind, and the way Sirius had stayed so close to him, even after finishing tying his tie. What he really tried not to do, and somehow managed to do (for the most part) was think about holding Sirius’ hand, or kissing Sirius’ lips and neck and-

Hello! The sensible voice in Remus’ voice screamed in protest. He’s still your best mate and this little crush reviving doesn’t change that.

So Remus tried to listen to the Head Girl who was now discussing the amenities that were only accessible to prefects. He figured this could at least be a bit useful at some point this year.

***

Continue reading on Ao3

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weaselbeaselpants · 4 years

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That Krispy Cat: A Warning, part 3

The last of the images cause I don’t want this bitch on my computer anymore.

Knowing tumblr I kept the images hidden JUUUUST in case no one reads the fine print and can’t tell I’m being critical of this and gets me in trouble.

VVV ((Just in case you thought the JewishGriffon piece assured everyone that Crispy couldn’t POSSIBLY hate people of color, some of her earliest Nazi art had her character Klaus beating up Amigo Bear. She also made Amigo into a liberal strawman. )) VVV

((Dialogue to one of her TROLLARIOUS pictures that featured Amigo:

Amigo Bear: *muttering* "Your leader was a !@#$% little #@%^!@$^*!, you fascist feather duster..." General Klaus: "Fräulein, Ich vant you to cover your ears und shut your eyes as tight as you can." Crispy: "How come, General?" General Klaus: "Klaus ist about to say und do very bad sings zhat he does not vant his little Edelweiß to see or hear." Crispy: "Alrighty!" General Klaus: "WHO SAID ZHAT ABOUT DER FÜHRER? WER DIE FICK GESAGT? WHO'S ZUH SCHLEIMIG LITTLE COMMUNIST-SCHEISS SCHWANZLUTSCHER DOWN ZHERE, WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH VARRANT? NIEMAND?! GOTTVERDAMMT STALIN SAID IT! HERVORRAGEND! VHICH VUN OF YOU VANTS TO BE ZUH FIRST TO FIND OUT ZUH HARD VAY VHY MEIN FEINDE CALLED MIR DER BUTCHER BIRD?" ))

^^^ ((BUTOPHERARTISGOODSOYOUCAN’TCOMPLAIN

also the disc. for this pic before it was deleted had a ‘joke’ about cooking Jews in ovens. Oh and yes, that IS Hitler she’s giving that ugly ass cupcake too.))

^^^ (( - Thanks dA I never would have known I had a notifications unless eclipse blah -

This is one of her rants about how #Triggered she is that Starlight be compared to the Nazis when she runs a communist cult. Because A) that’s the real problem here and B) I too get upset when people say my OC is based on Jeffrey Dahmer when he’s so CLEARLY based on Ed Gein, Bwwwaaaah D> D> D> !)) ^^^

VVV ((Ugly art of her friend’s awful OCs.)) ^^^

VVV ((Crispy showing off why no one wants to be a patriot in our country.)) VVV

((FYI, Crisp, that attitude will make the Hamilton fans stronger so just keep that SJW-flinging coming you little SJW.

WHAT?! Social Justice is a broad term and as Crispy’s plainly demonstrated, you can circle it around and make a majority-class sound like the real underprivledged if you have enough fancy frou frou know-how and furries. Also, if a Social Justice Warrior constitutes someone who takes their cause soooo seriously that they’re annoying/petting/cruel/stupid about it....idk I think Crispy qualified.))

^^^ ((Crispy and her friend muse about what other races occupy the world of MLP in her headcanon. This, more than any other dA disc. and picture shows you her brand of “Segregationist-Nationalism is OKAY” thinking, cuz the art of these different races isn’t super offensive or cruel and neither are the characters. BUT if you scratch under the surface you’ll find that Crispy really likes these different people staying in their place and not in “someone else’s” country.

THEN, this same kind of thinking is used to convince you any mix of cultures is just cultural appropriation, again acting like she and her Nazi-stans are the only ones standing up to actual bigotry.)) VVV

^^^ ((Crispy makes the world a worse place by bringing up actual decent points; like how Americans dress Thanksgiving up as progressive and for the natives when we all know that’s not true...all to better her worldview.

fyi, GET OUT whenever you see a selfproclaimed Nazi fawn over Native Americans, because: Nazi Germany had a deep fascination with American Indians and used their struggles about their land being taken away from them to justify their eugenic genocide.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy laughing it up on Furaffinity how she couldn’t be banned from her Furaffinity and then mysteriously never using her site there wowie.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy complaining about SOPA cause her freedom of speech and blahblahblah.

Freedom of Speech is important. Unfortunately what people like Crispy don’t understand or care for is there’s no freedom of consequence. )) vvv

VVV ((LOL Joseph Mengele was such a stinkah let’s tell blithe jokes about him. At least WE AREN’T LIKE HIM!!!)) VVVV

VVV ((Early onset eugenic BS from her Spyro stuff that would be easy to miss if you didn’t know what this woman was talking about)) VVV

((Crispy admitting she thinks gays are pointless cuz they don’t reproduce but apparently loves them anyway. Also big shock Crispy’s seen Hetalia.)) VVV

VVV ((Crispy probably wanting Weeaboos to attack her cuz aren’t Japan’s animations so laaaaaaazy?!!?!? GUUdd think’ I’m a naziaboo! Germany’s never made any shitty animation evah. You know what, I lied. She doesn’t deserve Hetalia. She just doesn’t.)) VVVV

VVV ((Crispy dragging Brazil down with her as the apparent “Best South American Country”. Yikes.)) VVV

VVV ((More “it’s trolling ergo it’s not harmful” shit. Bulgarians probably do deserve their own Care Bears, but they certainly don’t want yours Crispy.)) VVV

VVV ((Disc. for her Richard Spencer bear art)) VVV

------

I know, I know...this isn’t what you wanted to read today, guys. I know it’s offensive and I’m sorry if it made you ill. I also know I’m putting my own blog under fire by showing these images here but I think that should say something about dA’s bad policies that this art gets a filter slapped on it and nothing more when the artist is blatantly pro-fascist.

Crispy resonates with me so much - and no it’s not cause I DARED to be “triggered”.

It’s because, for one, she was talented. I MEAN I HAVE EYES! That’s some nicely drawn digital stuff I’m not gonna deny. She had some cool rewrites and sequel ideas that, had it come from someone else I would have eaten up and faved to hell and back onceupona2012. But I didn’t, where a ton of MLP and furry fans did because they undervalued their own talents and would say “well it’s pretty who cares about the message?”

Unlike so many commercial+published artists, it’s REALLY hard to separate the art from the artist here because the artist is so connected and a part of her art and storytelling. If you fav her art, even if you didn’t like her, that was telling Crispy she’d won. It’s so defeating to have other artists say their gonna ignore their gut for the sake of prettypretty-Don-Bluth style art. And yes, that stigma DOES affect my view on 2D purists btw.

Crispy was so holier than thou’, and that attitude also was appealing to dA folks, not to mention her knowledge of art history by the time she dropped off the radar. Crispy was the kind of person who’d make long, detailed, justified rants against the design and color choices in Hazbin Hotel and then a bunch of antis would eat her redesigns up only to learn the awful truth later and embarrass themselves cuz they were so taken up by the craft they didn’t know they were reblogging a fucking Nazi.

Not to underplay Viv’s wrongdoings of course, but I’m sorry; the two aren’t comparable on the problematic artist meter. THAT’S HOW BAD CRISPY WAS.

If this somehow was just a faze and she’s come to her senses or doesn’t really think this shite she preaches...I don’t care. She said some vile shit and fuck no I’m not forgiving her. It’s like KenDraw or Shadman. You’ve changed your life around and realized you’ve done/drawn nasty shit that’s done real harm? Cool....I’m still not talking or ever promoting you, ya dingbat. You ain’t no Roman Polanski or Doug Tennaple. You’re a singular internet artist and any support of the project has to go to you - and you suck!

ThisCrispyKat was a wakeup call that showed me these people not only still exist but will be allowed to get away with it. I was very touchy bout this kind of thing back in the day. Fuck, I STILL AM TOUCHY. The rabbit holes I found thanks to Crispy opened up to reveal communities where people think my hair color’s going extinct. People would detail how much they wanted to rape me - a natural blonde - and kill my friends and family for not looking like me. That they want to jerk off in my naturally curly hair and see me in glowy German princess gowns preparing them dinner.

Crispy and other Nazistans would look at me; a blond-haired blue eyed Polish/German American woman and think I need to be “fixed” because I DARE to repeat propaganda that the Nazis were bad. They’d call me a traitor for thinking that celebrating the Nazi party ISN’T German pride.

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT’S GERMAN PRIDE! I’LL SHOW YOU GERMAN PRIDE YOU EGOSTROKING-LIMPDICKED ATTENTION WHORES.

People like Crispy make it 1000x harder to actually show interest in German things. Because I AM interested in German shit btw.

Like for real: it’s a country I’d love to visit one day (at least the black forest, which is where my mom’s fam comes from). I love German art and German fairytales slap. I really do want to explore my heritage through art and stuff.

But guess what? Much as Crispy would argue to the contrary I DO know my WWII history and beyond and FUCK YOU if you honestly think jerking it to cuddly Nazi-furs is empowering or just “showing your interest in history”. Take your own advice and read a god-damn book.

TL;DR: I DO NOT have to be proud of Nazis to enjoy German culture and if you think otherwise, FUCK YOU. It’s a slap in the face to everyone even if you are ‘just trolling’ and it in no way values actual German’s feeling on the matter. It’s annoying how people undervalue real people just for the sake of fan art.

The Nazis were evil. They were racist, eugenic-genocidal idiots who killed over six million Jewish people, Romani, Slavs, Jehovahs Witnesses, disabled people, Poles, homosexuals and prisoners of war. They would have killed my dad’s side of the family if they were in Poland at the time. They made bullshit tanks that killed the people making them and didn’t work on the battlefield. Their leader was a fat, farting one-testicaled bastard who preferred animals to people.

They ruined everything for everyone and then took the easy way out, leaving the Germans that were left in the hands of the also-genocidal Soviets and Americans. Germany is still paying their war debts and now, 70-80 years later everyone else wants to laugh off this dark period of history with memes and forget what they did, and as such, are forgetting the victims of the genocide.

I have 0 tolerance for Nazi things for the sake of HUMANITY, let alone the individual groups they target. I don’t have to have German ancestry or know a single Jewish person to tell you any of this. It’s fucking history.

Eat shit.

#tw: nazi #tw: neonazi #tw: swastika #tw: antisemitism #cultural appropriation #kimba the white lion #thiscrispykat #altright #classic spyro #My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic #balto #animals of farthing wood

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bushyhair · 4 years

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❝ then he said, leaning forward: ‘you’re strange animals, you women intellectuals. tell me: what’s it like to be a woman?’ i took my rifle from behind my chair and shot him dead. ‘it’s like that,’ i said. ❞ merlin’s beard, what is ( HERMIONE GRANGER ) doing out at this hour? for a ( MUGGLEBORN ) who is ( 47 ) years old, ( SHE ) really ought to know better. you know, i hear that they’re aligned with ( THE ORDER ), but that could be just a rumor. i do know that they’re a ( CIS WOMAN ) and a ( GRYFFINDOR ) alum who works as a ( POLITICAL ACTIVIST ) though. they’re very ( DAUNTLESS ) and ( ANALYTICAL ) but also quite ( VINDICTIVE ) and ( ACERBIC ), which could be why they remind of ( DESPERATELY SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS THE ONLY WAY YOU KNOW HOW – IN A DARK, MUSTY LIBRARY FILLED WITH ANCIENT TOMES WRITTEN IN LANGUAGES LONG DEAD TO MANKIND – BUT NOT TO YOU; A CEASELESS TUG-OF-WAR BETWEEN YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR HEART, BETWEEN RATIONALE AND COMPASSION; THE CELESTIAL HEAVENS THAT YOU CARRY ON YOUR SHOULDERS NOW THAT ATLAS IS NO LONGER AROUND TO BEAR THE BURDEN FOR YOU ). some people say they’re the spitting image of ( GUGU MBATHA RAW ), but i’ve never heard of them. word on the street is that they’re ( THE ERUDITE ) and their prophecy is ( PROPHECY 54 ), but only time will tell if that’s true or not. [ SARAH, 23, SHE/HER, PST ]

parallels: spencer hastings (pretty little liars), elphaba thropp (wicked), annabeth chase (percy jackson), amy santiago (brooklyn 99), sydney sage (bloodlines), beatrice (much ado about nothing), cristina yang (grey’s anatomy), monse finnie (on my block), jal fazer (skins), peggy carter (marvel cinematic universe)

hermione was something of a miracle baby (and a complete surprise). the couple found each other later in life than most, and they’d long since given up trying to conceive as her father was in his fifties and her mother was pushing forty. nevertheless, even though she was unexpected, her parents showered her with love and affection – they had always wanted a baby girl to call their own. hermione would be their one and only.

[ HOLOCAUST TW ] her parents named her hermione after the virtuous queen of sicily in shakespeare’s the winter’s tale and the only daughter of king menelaus and queen helen in greek mythology. her middle name is jean, which is a female variant of the name john, meaning “god is gracious”. i think hermione is, albeit probably unintentionally by jkr, coded as jewish (her appearance, how she faces oppression for her blood by the death eaters/voldemort which are analogies for the nazis/hitler/the holocaust, how she isn’t shown to have a particular attachment to christmas and rarely goes home for the holidays, etc.). thus, i’ve headcanoned that she comes from an interfaith family; her mom was christian and her dad was jewish, and they raised her with both religions with the intention of letting her pick when she grew older. while she is not spiritual and ultimately considers herself to be an atheist, she’s still very proud of her interfaith heritage. anyways, her parents didn’t actually name her jean because of its religious meaning; they named her after jean valjean from les misérables. much like her parents, hermione is also a fan of victor hugo’s work, and that was why she named one of her children hugo.

her father never spoke about how he was a victim of the holocaust, how he almost didn’t survive, how he lost his entire family to the war. sometimes hermione saw the number tattoo on his arm, and her own battle scars felt like they were on fire. her father was a survivor of the second world war, and she is a survivor of the second wizarding war. now more than ever, she understands the trauma, grief, and survivor’s guilt that he tried so desperately to shield her from. it is the same pain that she now carries. [ END TW ]

[ RACISM, BULLYING, AND ANTISEMITISM TW ] there were almost no black children in the posh neighborhood she was raised in, and hermione always felt out of place among her white classmates at the expensive primary school she attended. growing up, despite being upper middle class and an incredibly well-behaved child, she of course still experienced her fair share of racism due to her black and jewish heritage – dirty looks on the street by complete strangers, mean schoolchildren declaring her ugly for not meeting westernized beauty standards (especially when it came to her hair), shopkeepers keeping a watchful eye on her when she entered their stores, adults assuming she couldn’t possibly be as intelligent as her white peers. not only was it demoralizing to little hermione, it was enraging. she developed an overwhelming need to prove herself and her capabilities – she always had to work so much harder than white children to be properly recognized, but every year, she still outperformed everyone else. of course, young hermione was seen as rather swotty, condescending, and insufferable by her classmates, so she was incredibly unpopular. her only friends were her parents, and the one place where she actually felt like she belonged was the library. books were an escape, a refuge. they offered her some comfort in an otherwise comfortless world. little did she know that this world was not truly her world – that there was something else waiting for her.

hermione developed a strict adherence to following the rules and an unwavering respect for authority partly because of the prejudice she faced from an early age. as a young black girl, she knew that if she did not present herself to be well behaved, responsible, and mature – if she ever acted out in any way – there could be a high price to pay. black children were punished (or hurt – or even killed) for very, very little. while she eventually outgrew this behavior as she found her place in the wizarding world, it took her a little time to blossom into the revolutionist that she is today.

when she first came to the wizarding world, she noticed a stark contrast in how she was treated by most people upon first glance. after all, it wasn’t as though blood purists could tell that she was muggleborn simply by looking at her (even though she didn’t realize that was what it was initially). and because of the difference that she noticed, she had hope that maybe – just maybe – this was somehow a world free of prejudice and racism, a world in which she could finally find belonging in. but of course, the wizarding world was not quite as she first thought. there was still prejudice; it was merely towards a different group of people. mudblood. when draco malfoy first spat out that venomous word in reference to her, she didn’t immediately know just what it meant, but she understood well enough. she’d been called slurs before. hermione was once again rattled with that familiar fury. she was top of her year, with an extraordinary amount of power, but still she was viewed by many as inferior. she vowed to prove her worth and become an instrument of change. she would fight for herself, her friends, her parents, the enslaved house elves, and the other muggleborns. if this world tried to tell her she did not belong there either, she would show them all that she did. she would be the best and the brightest – better than draco, pansy, and anyone else who tried to diminish her. and that was just what she did. it wasn’t enough for her though. [ END TW ]

because while hermione might have been a know-it-all who seemed rather confident in her abilities, the truth was that she was deeply insecure and terrified of failure. identified as highly gifted from a young age, this unintentionally placed an insurmountable pressure on her to overachieve in order to measure up to those high standards – to confirm to everyone, including and especially herself, that she really was as intelligent as they all thought she was. and to make matters worse, whether she was in the muggle world or the wizarding world, she always had something to prove. (in fact, she was only able to attend her expensive private school because of the scholarship that was granted to her due to her high marks and test scores. because while she was upper middle class, her family still wasn’t wealthy enough to send her there otherwise.) she somewhat grew out of her insecurities as the years went by – she’s proud of who she is and knows that she’s capable – but some of her insecurities still linger to this day. that compulsive need to be perfect will never truly go away. it’s an innate part of her now.

[ PHYSICAL ASSAULT TW ] even though she is extremely socially conscious and compassionate, she is very much a paradox and can often be abrasive, insensitive, and overly blunt. she’s also far more ruthless than she appears to be at first glance – this is the girl who destroyed marietta edgecombe’s face when she dared to betray the d.a., erased her parents’ memories, set a professor on fire, imprisoned rita skeeter in a jar and blackmailed her, and left umbridge to the centaurs to rot. while she does have a rigid sense of morals, she’s vindictive and will ultimately do what is necessary to achieve the right outcome. she honestly does not regret any of these actions – the ends justified the means in hermione’s opinion. (aka draco malfoy should consider himself lucky she only slapped his sorry arse so hard that he bruised) [ END TW ]

[ DEMENTIA/ALZHEIMER’S AND PARENTAL DEATH TW ] once the dust settled after the battle of hogwarts, after the seemingly endless funerals and memorials, she left everyone behind for a few months to search for her parents in australia and bring them back home. tracking them down took several weeks in and of itself, but once she finally found them, she quickly realized that she had her work cut out for herself. memory magic is an incredibly intricate process because it involves reconstructing the brain, and without proper training, it can easily go awry. she spent many days working on properly restoring their memories, and even after she was sure that she had done it perfectly, something was still wrong. the doctors ended up diagnosing her father with early stage alzheimer’s. although her friends reassured her that it wasn’t her fault, she still blamed herself for this – her father was well past middle aged, but perhaps his mind would not have deteriorated so much if she hadn’t cast those memory charms. she began distancing herself from her parents early on in her school career, opting to spend her holidays with ron and harry instead of trying to fit into a magicless world she no longer belonged in, and she became wracked with guilt and regret for pushing her parents away even if it was partially for their safety and peace of mind. she thought she would have more time than this, years to make up for it all. there wasn’t. a few years down the line, her father finally succumbed to his dementia and passed away, her mother following very soon after. although she died of natural causes, it was almost as though she couldn’t bear being apart from the love of her life, to go on living in a world without him. [ END TW ]

[ PTSD, DEATH, PARENTAL DEATH, GRIEF, PHYSICAL ASSAULT, AND TORTURE TW ] at some point, she returned to hogwarts to complete her seventh year, determined to graduate with all o’s on her n.e.w.t.s, and of course she succeeded because she’s hermione and she buried herself in her schoolwork, very much as a distraction from her grief, her trauma, the diminishing health of her father, and her newfound fame. being a war hero thrust hermione into the spotlight, and at first, she didn’t know how to handle it in the slightest. through time, she came to use her celebrity status to become a voice for the oppressed – house elves, werewolves, other muggleborns – because again, she’s hermione and she wouldn’t be hermione without her vehemence for social justice.

upon graduation, she landed herself a job in the department for the control and regulation of magical creatures. she stayed there for a while before transferring to the department of magical law enforcement. she never considered herself going into magical law when she was younger, but she soon realized that it was the only way she would be able to bring lasting change to a long broken system. for several years, hermione immersed herself in her work as much as she could. it was absolutely a coping mechanism, especially after her parents passed. as always, she was constantly fretting over her loved ones, asking them multiple times a week if they were alright and reassuring them that she was always here if they need a shoulder to lean on, but she hadn’t quite dealt with the fact that she wasn’t alright, not by a long shot. in fact, she was barely holding it together. rather than living, she was merely surviving, and it wasn’t for herself. her work and her friends were the only real reasons she managed to drag herself out of bed every morning. she hadn’t properly grieved the people she lost, and she suffered from petrifying night terrors, and the worst ones were of bellatrix torturing her in malfoy manor. she tried everything to remove or cover her scars from the incident, but as they were magically carved into her by curses of bellatrix’s own creation, she wasn’t able to. eventually, she gave up, deciding she would wear them as signs of her courage and resilience. but there were still those nights where she woke up from a chilling nightmare, wailing and thrashing. she cast muffling charms on her room every night as a precaution. she couldn’t even bear to visit her parents’ graves, too overcome by guilt, knowing in her heart that their deaths were her fault. she didn’t know how to carry that pain.

eventually, she settled down with ron and had two children with him, and slowly, with her two best friends by her side, she started to heal from her war wounds. there was no orderly, linear process to follow, like the five stages of grief. it was messy, and it was hard, but she pushed through it. she sought therapy at the urging of her friends, learning how to better handle her emotions, especially the ones involving grief. it took time, but she learned to live to again. she was able to move on and finally forgive herself. she healed – only for that arduous work to be undone when the third wizarding war started and the world fell into shambles again.

hermione was angry. she was so angry at the world for putting them all through this again. so many people died to prevent another war from happening, and despite her best efforts to make their sacrifices count -- to make it all mean something -- it seemed like it was all for naught in the end. after all, here they were again -- the same fight. always the same fight, with most of the same people.

and then harry died. then harry, her best friend, died for the second time, and hermione’s world shattered into pieces. it was only her love for her family and her vehemence for justice that gave her the strength to move on--but only barely so. she knew that she would never completely heal from it all. the truth was that when harry died, a part of her died along with him. he was not only her first friend but her true best friend (because ron had always been something else, something much more complicated). she considered him to be a brother, and she always did everything she could to help and protect him. she loved him so much, and she would’ve died for him without a second thought. they all would have. his death -- along with her parents’ deaths -- will always be her biggest failures, and she will forever blame herself for them. what good is it – being so smart – if she couldn’t save the ones that she loved the most? once her boggart was failing her exams, but now it is harry and her parents telling her the truth that she already knows – that their deaths were her failure and her fault. of course, this boggart is as irrational as the one she had in her childhood. harry and her parents would never say such a thing. logically, hermione knows this, but she still blames herself all the same – even if they would never, even if it’s not truly her fault.

then, miraculously, harry evaded death once more, coming back to life like the messiah himself -- but at the price of the life of one of her dearest friends. she’s even more furious now, but that anger doesn’t have anywhere to go. ultimately, she knows that even though it was the foolhardy, reckless knights who performed the ritual, the blame rests on the order’s shoulders. they failed their children. they drove them to this. in a way, she truly understands why the knights did what they did because she missed harry with all her heart and would have given (almost) anything to see him one more time, but still, it horrifies her. she wanted him back -- she is so grateful to have him back -- but not like this. not at the price of neville longbottom’s life. this is beyond anything she could have ever conceived. this is an aberration. it should have been impossible. and yet, here her best friend is, alive and (almost) well. she never expected that she would ever have him back, but now when he looks at her without any recognition in his face, she cannot help but be reminded of her father’s death all over again.

in the end, she will keep going on, and she will fight until her last dying breath to protect her loved ones and the world, but she’s so tired. how many times will they all have to fight the same war? how many more people will have to die for them to finally end this – for good this time? will this ever truly be over, or is humanity doomed to make the same mistakes and fight the same wars forever? for the girl who’s supposed to have all of the answers, even she doesn’t know.

it should be noted that hermione has never believed in prophecies or even divination at all, and even now that harry is alive, she still doesn’t. ultimately, she would argue that the reason why harry came back to life isn’t because it was destined in any way but because the knights truly believed in the prophecy and thus made it happen, much like how voldemort marked harry as his equal out of his doing after he heard trelawney’s first prophecy. in a way, it was almost a self-fulfulling prophecy. in the end, hermione doesn’t believe in predestined fate, and she never will. instead, she intends to shape her own future.

edit: also! i forgot to mention that, before the ministry was taken over, hermione was head of the department of magical law enforcement, but when she was thrust out of her position, she made the decision to dedicate herself to the order fully. hermione has never been minister of magic in this verse. although the ministry was never perfect by any means, she was a strong supporter of minister shacklebolt and worked with him personally for many years. ultimately, she was fairly content where she was at before all of this, but who knows what could happen if and when the war ends. [ END TW ]

#rev intros #no graphic this time #i really just want to get this out #it's super rushed oops

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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years

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Slytherin Sirius Black & Gryffindor James Potter through the years please!! There's not enough of this it's such an interesting dynamic. Can go enemies to friends to crushes or right from enemies to crushes or could be friends the whole way or friendly rivalry - whatever you think would have happened - just interested in seeing more fic that explores Hogwarts if Sirius went to Slytherin! The train scene still happened! And I think Sirius would still dislike Snape at least a bit if not a lot?

((A/N: A bit of internalized/period-typical homophobia, nothing explicit))

When Sirius met one James Potter, he'd thought lots of things. How big his smile was, how over-sized his glasses looked on his comparatively tiny head, how confident he was, how happy he seemed, hos excited he was to finally be going to Hogwarts so he could be in Gryffindor just like his parents. The only thought that stuck with him over the years was much simpler than that initial rush of emotions: James was going to change his entire life.

Sirius had sat on the stool in front of the entire school as the Sorting Hat dropped over his eyes.

'Hmm, Gryffindor could be good for you. Yes, you have courage aplenty, certainly enough loyalty to make friends there. You could do well in Gryffindor.'

Sirius was on top of the world. He'd always hoped to get in Gryffindor, but almost hadn't dared believe it would actually happen. He was going to get what he'd always wanted, but it felt like an icy block crashing into him when the Sorting Hat continued.

'But no. No, I think Slytherin is the place for you."

'Wait!' Sirius thought in a panic.

'You will not lose your friends in Slytherin, but you would have lost your brother in Gryffindor,' was all the Hat said about it before shouting, for everyone to hear, "Slytherin!"

First and second years had been pretty good. James still talked shite about Slytherin, but Sirius did the same and it was his House. They were friends all the same, and Sirius considered marching up to the Sorting Hat and telling it that it'd been wrong and Sirius did belong in Gryffindor.

For some reason, everything changed in third year. Siruis had figured that things could only get better the older they got, but James changed. All the shit he had said about Slytherin before was now specifically about him. Sirius didn't have any good comebacks to that, so he just started keeping Regulus company and ignored all the weird looks people gave him for hanging out with a first year.

"Don't you have any friends?" Regulus asked, a touch desperately. He'd barely gotten to Hogwarts and he was already shunned by all of his peers.

"nope." Just to bug him, Sirius threw an arm around his shoulders. "it's just you and me, Reg."

"Don't call me Reg."

"Why?"

"It makes me sound like a little kid."

"Whatever you say Reggie."

Regulus shoved at him ineffectually. After a minute, he capitulated, giving a heavy sigh as Sirius grinned victoriously.

The day after that, James hexed his bag so that spiders came pouring out whenever he opened it. In return, Sirius shut off all the water in Gryffindor Tower. He got detention where James hadn't, but to be fair, it was a much better prank than some spiders.

Not to be outdone, James flooded the Slytherin dormitories the week after-- doubtlessly the in between time was spent with James in the library, researching how to accomplish such a thing. He got detention that time, and for some reason the professors thought it'd be a good idea to have them in the same classroom. James said something about Sirius being a blood purist. Sirius said something about James's parents (an absolute lite, he adored Fleamont and Euphemia as much as they did him), and somehow they blew out on of the classroom's walls. After that, separate detentions.

A month later-- a month filled with nightly detentions, a hidden broomstick, ruined inkwells, a bribed portrait, a charmed suit of armor, talking quills, and coloured rain in the Great Hall-- Professor Dumbledore called them into his office. He sat calmly behind his desk, hands resting on the desktop as the two boys sat sullenly in front of him. "Lemon drop?" he offered. Sirius took one; James didn't. Dumbledore took one, sucking on it in silence for a while as he thought. Or maybe he was daydreaming and wanted them to stew for a while, either way, nothing was said for a long time. "I appreciate the ingenuity both of you have shown, but I would like to have a school by the end of the year. If I recall correctly, the two of you were friends last year, were you not?"

Sirius glanced at James, but it didn't look like he was going to say anything given that his jaw had a stubborn jut to it. "Last year, yeah."

"It is, of course, no business of mine for what ended that friendship and led you to here, but it seems to me that this situation could be easily solved if the two of you talked."

"We talk," James muttered.

"I do not believe yelling insults at each other in the middle of your class could be considered 'talking', but perhaps times have changed since I was a young man. All I mean to say is that it would behoove all of us to be united instead of divided in these times." The usual twinkle in Dumbledore's blue eyes was gone as he said that, as serious as either of them had ever seen him before. "Off to class with you," he said with a smile.

"Thank you Professor," they both said. Sirius noticed that James grabbed a lemon drop before he left. Once they made it down the stairs though, he still had it in his hand, rolling it around like it was a toy instead of a sweet. "Sorry," James said before Sirius could walk away. "Things... got sort of out of hand, yeah?"

"Yeah." Not that Sirius hadn't been having fun, but he'd wanted to be doing those things with James, not against him. "What got into you? We were fine until you started hating me out of nowhere."

"It wasn't out of nowhere," James said defensively. "You were acting like a stuck up prick the moment you saw me!"

"I was not."

"You were so."

"Wasn't."

"Was."

"Ugh we're getting nowhere," Sirius complained.

"Figured that out myself, thanks," James said, then sighed. "Would it kill you to hang out with me once in a while? You spend all your time cooped up in the Slytherin common room, I never get to see you."

"And where should we meet? The Gryffindor common room?"

"We used to meet in the library."

"Madame Pince kicked us out last time."

"Because you set a book on fire."

"That was an accident! And the book was fine, she completely overreacted."

"Well I say we start going there again. She can't kick us out for life."

"She can try," Sirius grumbled, remembering the positively murderous look on her face.

"Cheer up mate, we'll be fine." James slung an arm around his shoulders and started leading him off.

"That's easy for you to say, you've got detention with Flitwick tonight. You know who I have it with? Slughorn."

"He's not that bad."

"Yeah, but he's weird. He keeps trying to talk to me about my grandfather, as if I give a single fuck about that old geezer."

Somewhere in fourth year, Sirius started sneaking into Gryffindor Tower, and in fifth year, he, James, and Peter got the brilliant idea to become animagi to keep Remus company on the full moon.

It was the morning after one such full moon when Peter and James were off to the kitchens for some food, leaving Sirius and Remus alone in the Hospital Wing together. "Don't take this the wrong way," Remus said quietly, his throat probably scraped raw from the transformation, "but what are you still doing here?"

"Well let's see, can't leave you alone so soon after a transformation, and normally the kitchen runs are done in pairs. Add that to the fact that I was already with you and didn't want to move, and tada! I'm still here."

"Not that." Remus had to stop to cough weakly. "I meant... y'know, us, James. Gryffindors and blood traitors or whatever else it is."

If Remus had punched him, Sirius would probably be less surprised. "What?"

"You know what I mean. I mean-" he coughed again "-I know that you don't get on with most of your housemates, but things're getting worse."

Unfortunately, Sirius did know what he meant by that. Nobody was willing to put a name to it yet-- not around him, at least-- but there was a threat out there. Someone was stirring up anti-muggle and anti-creature sentiments, getting together groups, and spreading their influence. Sirius was from an old family that believed in those bullshit conservative forms, and Remus was not only a half-blood, but a werewolf. He grit his teeth. "What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean."

"I know you're not- I just mean, maybe you'd be safer... if you stopped. Your parents-"

"Fuck my parents, I'm not going to abandon you."

"I'd still have James and Peter, I wouldn't be alone."

"Yeah well tough shit, you'll have to deal with me too," Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair.

Remus sighed but didn't try to argue further. One way or another, they'd find out how this ended.

Regulus saw Sirius walk over to Mulciber, and he didn't really worry about it. Sirius was going to be his usual overprotective but ultimately harmless self. It wouldn't hurt anyone for him to throw a few threats around, and Regulus was even hopeful that maybe it would help him. He wasn't expecting for Sirius to haul off and punch him square in the face.

Regulus watched the scene with wide eyes. He wanted to help, to stop Sirius from getting in trouble, but he was frozen in place. Most of their housemates were either too cowardly to intervene, figured that it wasn't their problem, or were like Regulus, too shocked to move. He expected for it to end after a couple punches, but then Mulciber was getting knocked down to the floor and Sirius wasn't stopping.

In the end, a couple of the blokes on the Quidditch team pulled him off of Mulciber, blood staining his knuckles and resisting like he wanted to beat him to death with his bare hands. "If you ever touch him again, I'll kill you!" Sirius screamed. Regulus shrank in on himself, embarrassment creeping in. By Salazar, he never should've told Sirius what happened-- wouldn't have if he'd known that this was going to be Sirius's reaction.

All he wanted to do was disappear, maybe leave the Common Room so he wouldn't have to deal with anyone else, but instead he walked over to Sirius-- now released because they were dragging Mulciber to the Hospital Wing, and it was obvious that Sirius was only interested in hitting one person that was no longer in the room. "What the hell is wrong with you," Regulus hissed, grabbing Sirius's arm and pulling him towards the stairs to the dormitory.

"Nothing. Or at least nothing compared to what's going to be wrong with him," Sirius sneered.

Regulus paled. "You can't be serious. If you do anything worse, you're going to be expelled! You might be anyways with what just happened."

Sirius scoffed, pausing in walking to put his hands on Regulus's shoulders and look at him condescendingly. "Little brother, this is the perk of being from the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. Do you really think Dumbledore would be allowed to expel me? Hogwarts would lose one of its biggest benefactors, and he could kiss that Chief Warlock title of his goodbye. I have the best scores in my entire year even if they have the occasional disciplinary issue with me. They're not going to throw all that away." He pat Regulus on the shoulder before turning to head down the hallway.

Regulus swallowed. Dread was crawling up in his stomach. He was terrified of what Sirius was planning, but he couldn't make himself follow. That was the first time Sirius had truly scared him, looking too much like their parents for comfort. He tried to force his legs down to the seventh year dormitory room, but he turned into his own, shaking so badly he felt like he was going to fall apart.

Nothing would happen. Sirius would cool off, Mulciber would keep his bloody distance, and Regulus would be able to write this all off as a bad memory. What Regulus didn't know was that Sirius was already leaving the Common Room, a Disillusionment charm keeping him out of sight.

He lifted it once he was down the corridor, not wanting for a Professor to catch him and (correctly) assume that he was up to no good. And who should see him when he was close to the Hospital Wing, but James. Bugger. That ruined his plan of not being remembered at all, but he could roll with it. He plastered on an expression that looked not as anti-social.

"Sirius," he said, sounding surprised, but not happy to see him. "I saw Mulciber in the Hospital Wing. What happened?"

"Minor disagreement," Sirius said mildly. He knew he wasn't keeping the anger out of his eyes though.

"A minor disagreement that broke his nose? He lost teeth, Sirius. I know the bloke's a total twat, but you're going to get in serious trouble for this. What were you thinking?"

Sirius dropped the semi-pleasant demeanor. "I was thinking that he's done a hell of a lot worse, and if somebody stops him now, he won't have a chance to keep on like he has been." He's a fucking Death Eater, Sirius thought. He volunteered for a brand on his arm and he tried to force my brother to do the same when all Regulus has ever wanted is for our parents to be proud of him. Sirius was terrified that if he didn't head it off now, Mulciber-- or somebody else like him-- would succeed. Regulus was strong in his way, but how much longer would he be able to hold off when he knew it was something their parents approved of?

James was looking at Sirius like he didn't recognise him. Anybody else would have thought Sirius was being dramatic, that he was making a bad joke; James knew him better than to believe that. "Give me your wand."

"What?"

"Your wand, now."

"I don't know what world you seem to think you live in, but I'm not fucking doing that."

"Give it to me before you do something you regret."

"Giving it to you would be something I regret," Sirius snapped.

James didn't look like he was going to budge. He wasn't aggressive about it, he simply was there, like a boulder that was going to block his path no matter how much Sirius tried to talk his way out of it. Unless he was willing to fight, Sirius wasn't going to make it past him. He was actually considering it when James took the wind out of his sails. It was easy. A single word, softly spoken. "Sirius."

Sirius took his wand out of his pocket and shoved it, lengthwise, into James's chest.

James brought up a hand to catch it, and with the other he grabbed Sirius's wrist. His grip was light, easily broken if Sirius didn't want it. "Thank you. I'll give it back in the morning, yeah?"

"Fine," Sirius muttered, turning on his heel and skulking back to the dungeons.

In the morning, Sirius felt like he was going to be sick. The spell he'd had in mind wouldn't out-and-out have killed Mulciber, but it probably would have ended up that way. And that's if Sirius was exacting in casting it in the first place. The room for error with a spell that dark wasn't very big. One mistake and Mulciber would have died before dawn. Zero mistakes, and he likely would have died within the next year or two. Sirius was going to go through with it. Would have done if James hadn't stopped him. Gods what James must think of him. He covered his face with his hands, wishing he would just die now and save everyone the trouble. But no time for that. The best way to make it was to fake it, right? He got out of bed and pretended like nothing had happened, not even him beating the shit out of Mulciber in front of the entire House.

James found him shortly after he left the Common Room. He waited until he was at his side to hand him his wand back. "Here."

"Thanks," Sirius mumbled.

"Sorry for er-"

"You were right to."

James just looked at him, worried. "Still. Would you have really-" He cut himself off, shaking his head; he didn't want to know the answer to that question, and he didn't want to make Sirius think about it either. "Nevermind. You going to get your hands healed?"

"Nah, I figure they'll keep me distracted while I'm in detention."

You're punishing yourself, James thought. He almost said it, but Sirius would get defensive and probably snap at him. He wasn't willing to risk that with everything else going on. Being right wasn't important as all that. Instead, he shrugged. "I suppose. Personally I think you should just give me a call."

"And distract you from your homework? That would make me quite the menace to society, I shan't risk it."

"Yeah, you never risk anything," James said with a snort, slinging a casual arm around his shoulders and heading for the Great Hall.

"Won't it ruin your golden reputation to be seen with me?" Sirius asked, as though they hadn't been friends their entire time here except for those couple months in third year.

James rolled his eyes, unable to help feeling a little annoyed. "Mate, take a breath and fucking chill. If you want to be alone, just say so." Sirius stayed silent. "Then stop harassing me and tell me the latest Slytherin gossip."

"I'm not telling you what happened."

"Aw c'mon!"

Sirius shook his head, trying to let James pick up his mood and not let it fall again. Being close to James these days was an exercise in self-loathing. Men weren't supposed to feel this way about their best mates, he knew that much. It would take more than that for James to hate him at least, but he wasn't going to risk it. The only way this could turn out good was if James was as sick and twisted as Sirius, and there was no chance of that happening. Last night had proved that James was everything good in the world, and Sirius was not.

Sirius leaned into him, feeling himself relax a little more. He had no idea what he was doing. He really didn't.

Mulciber kept a wide berth around both Black brothers, which was exactly how Sirius liked it. He thought-- naively perhaps-- that that would be the end of it for a while. He wasn't expecting to be in the library one day and see Regulus tucked between rarely used bookshelves with Severus fucking Snape. Some people thought Snape wasn't as bad as Mulciber in the whole blood purity shit since he was a half-blood, but Sirius thought that it made him worse. He felt like he had something to prove, and it wasn't something he'd grown up with his parents telling him, it was something he'd found on his own and decided to believe.

And now his little brother and Snape were having clandestine meetings where they thought no one else would see them.

"Debating which opening move is the best in chess?" Sirius interrupted, leaning leisurely against the bookshelf.

They both jumped, Regulus guiltily, and Snape in surprise then loathing.

"I'm no expert, but I've hear moving the middle pawns is a bad idea."

"Black," Snape sneered. He wasn't half as frightening as he thought he was, which made Sirius want to knock in his teeth that much more.

"Not a fan? Let me guess, that's your opening move every chess game."

"We were just talking, Sirius," Regulus said quietly.

"I'm sure." He looked at Snape. "Go away."

Snape glared at him, then looked at Regulus, expression softening. "You're not a dog, and he's not your master. You can make your own decisions." With that, he left, whisking past Sirius like he was afraid if he stuck around Sirius was going to attack him. He probably would have.

Sirius walked closer and picked up Regulus's bag from where it had fallen to the floor. "What were you talking about?" he asked quietly.

"You're not my keeper," he mumbled, snatching his bag back.

"No, I'm your brother, and I care about you. It was about that bloody gang or whatever they're calling it, wasn't it?"

"I can look after myself," Regulus said, avoiding his eyes.

That was as good as a confession, but Sirius knew that he was on thin ice right now. "Reg... that used to scare you. Last year, you were freaking out, and now you're considering it? I'm worried about you."

"I'm-" Regulus stopped, running an aggravated hand through his usually precise hairstyle. "I'm not actually considering it," he hissed, looking down the line of the shelves to make sure no one would overhear. "But at the end of this year you'll be gone, and I'll be all by myself. If they don't think I'm considering it, I'll never survive the next two years."

Sirius wanted to scream, wanted to claw a way out of here so that Regulus could be safe, but he wasn't seeing it. It wasn't possible. "I hate this."

"Yeah well, I do too. But I don't see another way out of this unless it all disappears overnight."

"Just- just make sure you don't actually go, okay? I don't want to lose you."

"Good, cause I don't plan on being lost. You're planning on getting your own flat when you graduate, right?"

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Assuming I make it out of this bloody school with my skin intact, I'd like to have somewhere I can go."

"Away from our parents," Sirius guessed.

"Away from everyone."

"Yeah, of course." Sirius knew that they weren't the touchy-feely- types, but he gave him a hug anyways. "I've always got a place for you."

"You're getting a flat when you graduate?" James asked, clearly surprised.

"Yeah."

"Huh, I'd have thought you'd stay with your parents."

"Why the hell would I do that? I've been counting down the days until I don't have to live with them anymore."

"That's fair. I always thought I'd stay with mine when I graduated."

Before Sirius really meant to say anything, he heard himself saying, "You can stay with me." James looked over at him, just as shocked as Sirius himself was. "If you want," he added quickly. "Your parents are great, but sometimes you want space, you know?"

"Yeah I- are you serious? Because if you're not joking, I'm totally in. Too bloody scared to go off on my own, but if we're sharing, then I'm not by myself."

"Exactly!" Sirius said, grinning. Then, thinking that he shouldn't be so excited, he tried to tone it down. "I mean, right, that's good. I didn't really want to be on my own either, but I preferred it to staying in that fucking house."

"What's wrong with the house?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "There's a reason I've never invited you over."

"I thought that was because your parents hated me."

"That too. Also because I like your parents."

"They're good," James agreed, and Sirius couldn't help but laugh. They didn't have problems talking to each other, not really, but this had been awkward from the start.

When he came home to find James sat on the couch crying, it wasn't hard to realise what had happened. Fleamont and Euphemia had caught Dragon Pox earlier in the year, and at their age, they all knew how it was going to end. Sirius pulled off his shoes and walked to the couch. The second he sat down, James threw his arms around him, crying into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Jamie," Sirius said quietly, hugging him back. "I'm so so sorry."

He was quiet for a minute, and then he said, voice thick, "It's okay. We knew it was going to happen, and they were getting old anyways."

"Still, I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone got Dragon Pox anymore, it's so stupid that that's what killed them."

"Yeah." James sniffled.

Sirius knew he shouldn't have said 'killed'. Why the fuck did he say killed. The truth was that Sirius was getting desensitized to all the violence that was happening around them. People were getting attacked and murdered on a weekly basis by the Death Eaters. In comparison, Mr. and Mrs. Potter dying from a disease was quieter. He hated himself for even thinking it, and it certainly made him sad to know that he'd never see them again, but mostly he was thankful that they hadn't perished from something more violent. "Your parents were wonderful James. I'm sorry they're gone."

James held him tighter. "Me too." One, two breaths, and then James was kissing him.

Sirius jolted, but James was holding him in place so it didn't dislodge where their lips met. When James pulled back to breathe, Sirius asked, "What are you-"

James was kissing him again, crawling into Sirius's lap before he could finish the sentence. He kissed him like he was desperate for it, held onto Sirius like he was the only person in the world he wanted.

That wasn't right. James couldn't want him, not like that. "James, what-"

It felt like James was determined not to let him get a word in edgewise, always kissing him again. His tongue slid into Sirius's mouth, hot and insistent and making Sirius drunk on him because he was getting what he'd wanted for years. James moved against him, rolling his hips and it was only then that Sirius realized he was hard-- both of them were.

"James, we c-" can't.

Unsurprisingly, James didn't let him finish the thought, rubbing against him with frenzied movements. It didn't occur to Sirius that he could push him off, and with that pressure on his prick-- from James of all people-- he wasn't thinking much of anything anymore. They both made fucking messes in their pants, and that was around the time that James realised what he'd done. He jerked back, eyes wide. His nose was still red from when he'd been crying, and rapidly filling his expression was horror.

Sirius kinda felt like crying himself as James fell on his arse in his hurry to get away. "James-" he said, holding out a hand to help him up, only to stop when James flinched.

"Sorry, I- er- sorry," James said in a rush, scrambling to his feet and away to his room.

What should've been something great was just... shite. Sirius felt worse than he did before, which was saying something given how miserable he was these days. It could always get worse, and this just did. He covered his face with his hands, the come in his pants cooling uncomfortably. He wanted to never think about this again, but he knew that if he said nothing, James was likely to move out. Right after his parents died, that was the last thing he needed. Of course he also didn't need his best mate shagging him right after he got the news, but there was nothing Sirius could do about that now. A quick cleansing charm took care of his pants, and he got to his feet. He padded to the door and knocked gently. "James?"

No response, he knocked again.

"C'mon, talk to me." Sirius sighed, wondering if maybe he should drop it. He didn't want to though, he wanted James to fucking talk to him. He knocked again, not expecting to get a response.

James opened the door, looking half-miserable and half-terrified, which wasn't something Sirius had known was possible until now. "I'm sorry," he said quickly, eyes trained on the floor. It was ridiculous that James was avoiding looking at him, but it meant that he hadn't seen the awkward half-fall Sirius did when James opened the door.

"Yeah," Sirius said, feeling like his hear was somewhere around his knees. He was surprised that James had opened the door, but not that an apology was the first thing out of his mouth. "I get that."

"I won't do it again, I swear."

That too, was expected unfortunately.

"Please don't kick me out."

Sirius blinked. "Why would I kick you out?"

"For- you know." Great, he couldn't even bring himself to say it.

"I'm not going to kick you out for that."

"You're not?"

"Fuck no. You were upset, mistakes happen, it's okay."

James hadn't been moving much to begin with, but at that he absolutely froze. "Mistakes happen," he repeated.

"Er, yeah. So, you know, you don't need to leave or freak out of anything. We're good." James leaned into the door frame, then chuckled sadly, knocking his head against it. "A mistake. I'll be the first one to admit that the way I did that was total shite, but I was kinda happy it wouldn't turn out like this."

Sirius was utterly lost. "What are you talking about?"

For the first time since running away to his room, James looked at him. "You're a good person Sirius. I don't know why you think you aren't, but you are. I've been in love with you since I was thirteen. And just- whenever I make a complete arse of myself, you don't throw me out or get disgusted, you tell that everything's okay."

Sirius's mind didn't know what to say to that, but his mouth was taking care of it. "That's because everything is okay. You just lost your parents and you're talking nonsense Jamie. Get some sleep and we can talk in the morning." They were things Sirius had waited years to hear, but James couldn't mean it. He wasn't trying to be cruel-- James didn't have it in him to be cruel to him-- but there wasn't a chance he truly meant it.

"Why don't you believe me?" James asked, sounding heartbroken. "I love you."

Sirius cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yeah Jamie, I love you too, but-"

"Don't. Just... don't." James closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I should probably go. Someone's got to look after the mansion, the different properties and stuff. Might as well be me."

"You're leaving?"

He nodded, looking awfully small.

"We're safer together. Did you hear about that attack on Dorcas's parents?"

"Yeah Sirius, I heard. We were together, remember?"

"Then why are you leaving? I thought we were fine, we were just saying that."

"Actually what you said was that we're fine because you don't believe me. I said- well, doesn't matter, does it? And nowhere's safe, Sirius. If we're together, it just means we'll die together, not that we'll be safer."

For some reason, James being so despondent about it convinced Sirius of his sincerity more than when James had confessed. It was stupid-- Merlin it was so stupid and Sirius did it anyways-- but he grabbed James by the front of his shirt and yanked him forward, pressing a hard and desperate kiss to his mouth.

"I'm so bloody confused," James whispered in the air between them. He had one hand up, gripping Sirius's wrist where Sirius was holding onto him.

"You'd be better without me," Sirius said back, just as quietly. He should've let James leave and continue on as friends who only saw each other once a week, but he was too selfish to let him go.

James frowned at him, having to tilt his head up since Sirius had gotten taller than him somewhere around fifth year and stayed there. "Nothing's better without you. Sirius, you're... I mean, we're... you know?"

It was another one of those moments where Sirius could easily misunderstand and push James away, but he was still gripping James's shirt and he didn't want to let go. He never wanted to let go. "Yeah, I know."

James leaned up, slowly. Plenty of time for either of them to change their mind this time. Their kisses before had been hard and desperate, too much teeth and biting like they wanted to take a piece of the other person with them. This was a nuzzle, soft and comfortable as they held each other. Sirius's hand relaxed in the front, curving around to James's back so it was more of an embrace.

"Don't leave," Sirius begged. "Stay with me."

"Maybe-" James kissed him again, moaning softly when Sirius leaned into it. "I do need to look after the house. Would you come with me?"

It was on the tip of Sirius's tongue to say yes, but loud, frantic knocking on the front door interrupted him. James let go of him and they both padded to the door, wands drawn. Sirius peered the peephole, then wrenched the door open. "Reg? Why aren't you at school?"

Regulus threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around Sirius in a way that did nothing to hide how badly he was shaking. "I can't stay there. Don't make me go back, Sirius, please don't make me go back."

"Hey, it's okay, you're fine, I've got you." Sirius's tone was calm, but the look he sent James was downright panicked. "You don't have to go back, it's fine, you can stay here."

"Thank you," he said, practically sobbing.

"I'll put the kettle on," James said, fleeing to the kitchen. He had the feeling that when Regulus realised he was there for that, he'd be embarrassed, and James didn't want to add that on top of whatever else he was dealing with.

Sirius joined him a minute later when James was still trying to find honey and cream. "Hey," he said, voice low so it wouldn't carry, "I wanted to check with you; it is okay that he stays with us, right?"

"'Course. Did something happen?"

"He's not saying, but I'd guess that yeah, something happened. Or maybe it got to be too much being in Slytherin with things the way they are, I dunno. I wasn't planning on pushing it."

James nodded. Perfectly understandable, he wouldn't want to talk about it either.

"Erm, James we're- I mean, are we good?"

"Yeah." James took his hand and squeezed it gently. "We're good mate."

"Great. Is now a bad time to mention that I used the last of the earl grey and haven't picked up any more?"

James snorted, giving his hand another squeeze before letting go. "I grabbed some on my way home from work yesterday, we're set."

Sirius's shoulders relaxed, and he smiled at him. It had been a tiring night, and it was sure to get worse. There was still stress visible on his face, but James wasn't as worried as he would've been a week ago. James pulled him in for a hug, then turned his head so he could smell Sirius's neck.

"I know it's a ways off," he muttered, "but I promise that the next time we have sex, it'll be better."

An involuntary shudder went through Sirius, and he tilted his head to rest it on top of James's. "I'll hold you to that." The kettle started whistling, so Sirius pulled away, unable to keep from giving him a quick kiss. "Love you. I er, couldn't remember if I said it before."

"You did," James said, but he was grinning like he could hear it every minute of the day and still be happy for more.

#fanfic #prongsfoot #james potter #sirius black #marauders #filled #hogwarts time #first war #slytherin sirius #getting together #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

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onceuponamirror · 7 years

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omg I also refused to watch Lost for very similar reasons. I've also never seen any of the Star Wars films, so. I think i'm just a little outside of the zeitgeist, in a Not Cool way. Anyway you said you do meta and I was wondering: do you have any specific thoughts about the Jughead/Betty/Archie friendship when they were kids? I'm interested in your perspective on it. (All good if you have no specific thoughts about it though!) :)

sorry for a kind of delayed response! last couple days were busy.

anyway, hello darkness my old friend, i’ve come to ruminate on childhoods again

the way i see it, up until, say, about age 7-8, the Andrews did not live in the nice little nightmare on elm street neighborhood (legit this is canon; the coopers live on elm street, like), just as i don’t think the Jones lived in the trailer park all Jughead’s life

(also because he canonically had a treehouse at one point. things said in passing still count!!!!)

so let’s say around age 8, Archie Andrews and his family move in next door to the Coopers. Andrews Construction is doing better—not great, but better—and in order to appease Mary’s growing restlessness, Fred thinks if he can show his wife a good, comfortable life, she’ll stop mentioning Chicago so much. so he takes out a mortgage, even if the man at the bank had seemed a little too eager to give out loans like candy.

before that, however, the Andrews and the Jones live nearby one another. not quite southside, not quite north; not quite bad, not quite great, but equal.

Archie and Jughead are inseparable—in that Archie has an utter lack of boundaries and completely misses the dismissive social cues from a shy, quiet little boy who has never been good at making friends.

what starts as being thrown together in a very rudimentary and machismo concept of a preschool at a construction site becomes a genuine friendship, if not albeit one that still halfway requires proximity in order to function

and then the Andrews move, and FP is helping with boxes, and Jug is there to check out Archie’s new big bedroom in the big new house when he spots a little hand quickly disappearing behind a pink curtain across the way

he asks Archie then if they have neighbors and in a distracted voice, he says something to the effect of uh, yeah, i guess, but look at my tv, jug!

they come downstairs and FP is looking around with his lips pressed together, a sense of wariness that Jughead will not know how to place at age 8 but will learn to not much later

(here is where my headcanon gets syrupy: the Jones were also a founding family. they ran a glass blowing factory that made the maple syrup jugs for the Blossoms—until Forsythe the First picked a fight with old man flower dick and got blacklisted and lost everything)

(FP Jones, once the official Big Man On Campus, the boy with the sleek black camaro and money to spare, quickly learns what his life is worth) (his father turns to the drink and bitterness is a sweet fruit upon first bite)

(but hence, the name JUGhead, because life is a cruel joke)

the doorbell rings like the bell tower at high noon and Why It’s The Coopers! in all of their beautiful blonde glory carrying brownies. there’s the awkward shuffling of pairing up age groups and Jughead recognizes the little hand at the window as belonging to the girl who sits at the front of his classes.

he should’ve known that hand anywhere, because it’s constantly in the air in front of him, stretched high over her head as she answers question after question.

and at first—that’s it.

but then after a couple of weeks, he comes over to the Andrews’ new house and Betty Cooper is there, sitting in his usual spot on the black beanbag, and he has never been such a sucker to believe in cooties, but how dare she?

more importantly, how dare Archie let her?

Archie is the only friend he’s got, and he knows from a growingly keener eye on Betty that she has got plenty of friends and she can’t have his

this wariness and increasing surliness as childhood veers closer and closer towards adolescence, bringing with it realities that he Is Too Young To Understand, Jughead, But Your Father Knows What He’s Doing, but he still thinks he’s starting to

and then the summer of pee-wee football arrives. they’re 11 going on 12, and suddenly Archie can’t hang out in the weeklong intervals Jughead has become accustomed to. when he shows up on his bicycle at the Andrews only to be reminded of this, he starts to turn away, when he hears a little voice calling to him from over the fence

it’s Betty Cooper, and she wants to know if he wants to go for a bike ride because oh my god, she just got a new one and she’s sooo excited to ride it and Look At The Tassels!!!Jughead! and he’s about to say um no way and how old are you that you still want tassels on your bike when that rattling mouth of hers offers him sandwiches and chips and lemonade and all that’s in his house right now is instant oatmeal so fine, Betty, Fine

they ride down to the river and end up talking about their favorite movies and books—and jesus, she really likes The Mists of Avalon, but besides that, she actually has decent taste and they vow to make Archie suffer through a classics night

(and Archie absolutely hates Casablanca, the ending bothers him so much, and won’t hear the defenses from Betty and Jughead)

(but then they make him watch it again when Betty’s friend Kevin finds out she watched his favorite movie without him and it starts all over again)

that year, Jughead finds himself almost thinking that sometimes he likes spending time with Betty more than Archie, but he’ll never let himself admit it. he’s a purist, and Archie was there first. Archie is his best friend, even if lately all he wants to do is talk about girls and pee-wee sports

there’s a touch of irony when Jughead thinks about the fact that Betty is technically a girl too and he might think about her as much as Archie talks about Valerie and Cheryl and Josie and—

Jughead doesn’t dwell on it. he doesn’t.

and then they’re 13, and things really start to change. he’s shooting up faster than they can afford new pants, and so is Archie, minus the financial obstacles. Betty too. her hair seems brighter, her skin seems softer, and she finds an affinity for lip gloss

(Archie is the only one who doesn’t seem to notice, because by golly she’s good ol Betts! and pass the pizza, dude)

(Jughead thinks it doesn’t seem to bother her so much as it makes her transformation into a teenage girl all the more willful)

(—he also knows that her home life is stressful, and in a different way, just as stressful as his own—even if he can’t think about it too hard without needing deep breaths—)

Betty admits to him one afternoon by the river that her mom wants her to be so perfect and she doesn’t know what that means anymore.

but then he sees her figure it out—perfect grades, perfect dress, perfect smile.

perfect boyfriend.

people in their grades are starting to pair up and it’s freaking Jughead the fuck (*hell, sorry, he’s still 13) out, but nothing freaks him out as much as the fact that Betty is acting so weird around Archie now

he thinks what bothers him most is the way he can feel time pressing in on like a brick meeting mortar. things are changing and he hates it and he just wants to be watching movies in Betty’s basement and throwing popcorn at the tv with his friends, not watching her frown every time Archie watches a girl walk by

but what can he do? he’s not the perfect boyfriend. he’s not the one on the football track. he’s not all-american anything, unless you count trailer trash, because, well, that’s where he lives now

(as the narrator here, i must insert that what jughead is feeling at this juncture is less a crush and more the wistful nostalgia for the one he could’ve had)

(if only he had been born into a different family, he thinks to himself one night)

and that’s where he pulls back, because he’s getting a little sick of constantly thinking about paradigm shifts (a term he now understands and has rocked his world view) (ouroboros will be next)

he dodges texts, he briefly entertains lunches at the AV club room until the school cuts the program because We’re Sorry Mr. Jones, but One Student Does Not a Club Make, until Betty swoops in like his goddamn white knight and insists she is in the club and now they can’t cancel it!

and his attempts at pulling away are briefly loped off.

until high school.

freshman year is every thought he’s ever thought multiplied by ten, including all the ones about Betty Cooper.

as the narrator, i again interrupt to remind the reader that this is not so much pining as it is defensive frustration—Archie keeps getting Perfecter, Betty is getting Perfecter, and they are going to be Perfecter together and they’ll realize that Jughead is not part of the picture they want to be painting and soon he’ll be avoided and next year, Archie will probably be shoving him into lockers like Reggie Mantle

and that’s why, when the summer before sophomore year rolls around, and Betty is going to Los Angeles for her internship and Archie starts acting cagey, he accepts this as the inevitable, and bows out, thankful for the time he did have

but that’s the summer that everything changes

#bughead #riverdale #betty cooper #jughead jones #archie andrews #meta #i told you this would be a lot #relax sarah!!!#headcanon #fics #kind of #this is not really a oneshot but it could be #crawledoutofthesea

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comingfrommyhands · 7 years

Text

A Skeptic’s Take on 2017 IT.

Hello, moviegoers! This is my first attempt discussing an adaptation/remake, and I’m trying my hand for one reason: Stephen King deserves the box office love he’s getting, but his fans deserve The Conversation: What happened to the IT we know and love? This skeptic, purist fangirl holds with optimism: It just. got. better.

In its second week running, IT still tops the chart grossing more than $218 million. This is hardly a review, just a structured attempt to explain the differences, the subjective pros and the cons.

1) The Lucky Seven aka The Losers Club

The casting for these kids was brilliant, with Finn Wolfhard (Richie), Jack Dylan Grazer (Eddie) and Jeremy Ray Taylor’s (Ben) performances shining through. I would like to have seen stronger identity and development through Wyatt Oleff (Stanley) and Chosen Jacobs (Mike), but altogether the group chemistry speaks for itself. The Losers Club is reminiscent of The Goonies (1985) and Stranger Things (2016) (this is partially attributed to Wolfhard’s presence), while giving the group a modern sense of humor and taste.

The downside? The new adaptation mostly brings the Lucky Seven together through their experiences with Pennywise, played by Bill Skarsgård. The book and 1990 film bring the group together rather based on their dumb luck with school bully Henry Bowers (Nicholas Hamilton) and gang. The group must trust each other in ways they could never dare with others when Pennywise steps into their darkest imagination. The 2017 remake forces the relationship and disregards the group’s pre-establishment.

2) The Lucky Seven and their fears

Pennywise holds a specific talent for transformation; he’s the Boggart of the Stephen King realm. The new adaptation assigns each child new, different fears from the ones we’ve seen before. At one point, this displays a fear of clowns. One of our characters finds himself trapped in a room with countless clown toys, with one of them being an easter egg for the old film’s Pennywise look, portrayed by Tim Curry (We appreciate you for that, Andy Muschietti). The different fears gave viewers a new look at the horrors we would face and an almost new villain to battle.

3) Easter Eggsplosion

I personally appreciated the role Ben Hanscom played in this version. The book and Curry film portray Mike as our historical informant, but the remake casts the responsibility to Ben. This makes sense as he’s the established bookworm. The scene in the library illustrating the fatal Easter Egg hunt is a fabulous inclusion of former tragedy in Derry. Another appreciated allusion is the “I Heart Derry” shirt worn by Patrick Hockstetter (Owen Teague) in his final moments. But I’ll let you research that one on your own.

4) Historic Derry shift

It is crucial that the picture is painted of Derry as the monster itself. As we transition into Chapter 2, we will learn more about the inevitability of IT’s attacks and why the town’s adults have never stopped IT. Part of the evil is the town itself, and Chapter 1 does a fantastic job setting the stage for further development. That being said, Derry, Maine has always been understood as a small town with no connection to the outside world. There would be no famous study on its murder rates as explained by Ben. I believe this feature was placed for emphasis on the situation at hand, it’s just a potential plot hole because it’s opening up the possibility for national media involvement/investigation, versus a town “taking care of business” in its own coverup.

5) THE LEPER SCENE, OH MY GOD THEY KEPT IT.

This is beautiful, brilliant, and assigns the purpose of the Neilbolt house in ways it’s never been connected before.

6) Stand By Carrie?

Cinemania critic Irene Crespo implies the film was influenced greatly by one of King’s other stories, Stand By Me. In fact, one critic essentially boiled the film down to a statement: Stand By Me, Stranger Things, and The Goonies thrown into a blender and poured out as a poorly crafted cash grab. Ouch. But he has a point in that the film is almost more reminiscent of other works than its own roots.

Did anybody catch the Carrie-esque portrait drawn by Beverly’s sink-bomb experience? On a side-note, I also appreciate the inclusion from the book of her measuring tape riding the drain. The visual communicates the depth and reach of the monster’s pervasiveness, and adds choking suspense to the moment as it plays out.

7) Lacking Origin

Disclaimer #2: I haven’t finished the book, but I’m working on it. The original film never gives us the origin story we typically need to understand our villain. I was disappointed when Chapter 1 didn’t take care of this problem; however, it almost did, and it still could! According to this Playback Podcast interview with Skarsgård, there was a highly disturbing scene regarding the backstory for Pennywise, but it was cut form the film. He said, “I'm not gonna spoil what the scene is, because we might use it... It’s a backstory...for what It is or where Pennywise came from. ... The idea is that It, the entity, was dormant or resting for thousands of thousands of years and it [the scene] hints on [the founding of Derry].” Apparently, the Fukunaga's script details an encounter with IT in the early 17th century, “where a mother allows the monster to devour her daughter in exchange for her safety. And like Skarsgård's description, this scene also featured a Pennywise unlike the one seen by the kids in the movie, describing IT as 'incomplete, his flesh pale and translucent, like a half-formed imitation of a human'” (Digital Spy).

Skarsgård took the role in stride, working to match the hype for former renditions of the Pennywise role. Perhaps one of the best inclusions is his otherworldliness, as described by Skarsgård in the Playback interview. “It’s a clown, but not a perfect clown. He glitches. He shuts down and freezes in a moment and he’s lost. My idea was that was the entity, who lives in this other sort of dimension, tapping in and out of these spaces.”

8) We all float down here.

I’m not going to lie, this line never made much sense in the former film; we see the webs and the bodies stored, but never truly connect the dots. The 2017 film takes it a step further by having the pile of victims, trophies and limbs eternally floating and winding around each other, almost in a way reminiscent of Dante’s Inferno. It was a literal translation of the bloodlust and attachment IT has to its victims.

Altogether, the film captures the beginnings of the Lucky Seven in a competent way. I stand with Sunday Times’s Tom Shone, who says the movie is “an amiable enough mixture of 1980s nostalgia, adolescent empowerment and R-rated frights that, for all their crunch, never quite put the shiver into your bones,” and still with Killer Movie Reviews’s Andrea Chase who believes while the movie “may lack the nuance and crescendos of a true horror classic, when it comes to zeroing in on the terror of a child’s helplessness, it has few peers.”

Ask me if I almost cried when I realized the adult characters were removed from this adaptation. The good news is we should see them in upcoming developments. While first time IT viewers will walk away with a newfound fear of clowns and pocket full of thrills, I would remind them this is not the story of Pennywise, the Dancing Clown and Father of Fears, but the story of seven losers who change the course of history with their love for one other, destroying inner and outward fears when they are faced with the decision that enough is enough.

#IT #stephen king #horror #movies #film #tim curry #stranger things #the goonies #stand by me #carrie #losers club #loser #the losers club #review #flick #bill skarsgard #rotten tomatoes #finn wolfhard

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imaginejamesandsirius · 7 years

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Could you write a soulmate au where James's soulmark could fit Lily or Sirius and he just always assumed it meant Lily so they're in a relationship even though neither of them really feel it. And then he gets to know Sirius better (maybe he's in Slytherin or they're at uni or something) and he realises that sirius is his soulmate so him and Lily break up and James and sirius live happily even after and so does Lily (with remus or marlene maybe?). Sorry, that's probably really weird and specific.

Sirius wanted to rub at his soulmark, but he knew better than to have a tell like that. So he glared at nothing in particular and let everyone else think what they will. An entire of summer of being isolated enough to touch it when it was unsettled had let him get comfortable, and now he was back at school. With a soulmate that had rejected him at the end of the last term. Oh yeah. It was going to be a great year.

“People are going to think you’re plotting their mass murder if you keep looking that way,” Regulus said beside him. Sirius glanced at him, but he already had his gaze back on his book. “What’s got you in a sour mood anyway?”

“Nothing,” he lied.

It was Regulus though, so he knew better and just scoffed lightly.

“What are you reading that for? I know it’s not a class.”

“Oh?” Regulus said, and tried to hide the content of his book without making it obvious that that’s what he was doing. “And since when did you pay enough attention to your classes to make that kind of judgement?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed the book before Regulus could sneak it all the way into his bag. He raised an eyebrow slightly and gave Reg a look. “Werewolves?” He checked the author. A blood purist arsehole, no surprise, probably spouting fear-mongering bullshit. “You aren’t going to learn anything from this bastard.”

“I know,” Regulus said, snatching the book back and pretending that there wasn’t a blush crossing his cheeks. “It was the only one the library had.”

“The only way you’re going to learn shite about a werewolf is to ask one.”

“Well that would defeat the purpose wouldn’t it.”

“Reg…”

“Shove off,” he grumbled, but it was obviously from embarrassment rather than anger.

“We have a resident werewolf,” he said leadingly, watching with perverse glee as Regulus’s shoulders started to hunch, “who just so happens to be unbonded. Now, the only reason I can think of ickle little Reggie to be interested in werewolves is if he has some sort of clue to--”

Reg slapped a hand over his mouth and glared. He glanced around nervously even though he knew just as well as Sirius that no one could hear them because of the silencing spell they’d put up when they sat. “Fine, okay? I think it might be him.” Slowly, he took his hand, as if daring Sirius to say something stupid so he could cover his mouth again.

“I don’t think reading that book is going to win you any points with him.”

Regulus sighed, turning back to his mostly empty plate. “I wanted to be certain.”

“Are you sure it’s him?”

“Pretty sure. What are the chances I’m going to meet a different werewolf that could be my soulmate?”

Sirius didn’t say anything. Unless Regulus moved to a different country, it was practically guaranteed that his soulmate was Lupin. Well, one of them. “It’s only one of them, right?” If it was both, Regulus’s life just became a lot more difficult.

“What?”

“Your soulmates. Only one of them is a werewolf, right?”

Regulus’s face shuttered even though he knew Sirius didn’t mean anything by it. Mother and Father insisted that Reg only had the one soulmate, that somehow the marks were merged to mean one person even though they obviously referred to two separate entities. Similarly, they pretended that Sirius didn’t have a soulmate at all because it was better than believing it was a Potter. “Seems that way.”

“C’mon Reg, cheer up. You know they’re happier with your marks than mine.”

“Barely.”

That was true enough, though they could by no stretch of the imagination be considered ‘happy’ with either of their sons. Sirius shrugged. “Couple more years and you’ll be in the clear.”

“So will you,” Regulus said, looking at him with a slight frown.

“Heir. They want me to be as miserable as both of them are. If Bella’s soulmate doesn’t turn out to be a suitable match, you know they’re going to throw us together.”

“You’ve always talked about running away,” Regulus reminded him.

Sirius gave his brother a flat look. “If I leave, they’ll just drag you into it, and I doubt you’re offering to leave with me.”

Regulus hesitated. “I might.”

“Not with at least one soulmate in arm’s reach you won’t.” Sirius pat him on the back. “But I appreciate the offer.” It’s not like James wanted him anyways. Where would he go?

~~~

Sirius remembered getting his soulmark, looking at the design on his hip with wonder. It was a Great House crest, he knew, but he didn’t know which one. He could ask Father, couldn’t he? He’d be happy with it.

But when he showed Father, his expression darkened, he drank from his glass quickly, the only thing stopping him from drinking directly from the bottle his sense of pride. He grabbed Sirius’s arm harshly, pulling him close so he was in his face. Sirius leaned back as much as he could, disgusted by the smell, but it wasn’t enough.

“You don’t show anyone else this mark, you don’t tell anyone about it,” he ordered. “If someone asks, you don’t have a mark yet. Understood?”

“Yes sir,” Sirius mumbled, stumbling when Father let go of him. He rubbed at his arm for a moment before turning and running from the study.

Mother knew, but only because Father told her. Sirius himself still didn’t know what it meant yet. Two years later, a fancy party he didn’t want to go to, and he found out. The Potter’s were supposed to be blood traitors.

So what did it mean that Sirius had their crest etched into him for the rest of his life?

~~~

Sirius was eleven, finally out of his parents’ clutches, and excited to meet his soulmate. Purebloods talked, and they especially loved to talk about heirs, even the disgraced ones. James Potter, one of only two living Potters (not including Euphemia, who had married into the family) and the only one unbonded, was his age, and would be in his year at Hogwarts.

It was a dream come true the way they fit together, chatting like they’d always known each other. Then again, Sirius thought, they were two halves of one soul, it made sense that they would get on.

…But then James said something about feeling sorry for Sirius because he didn’t have a soulmate, and Sirius’s heart sank. He’d forgotten that that’s what his parents had told everyone, and with James being from a Noble House, he’d ‘know’ about it.

It might have been salvageable-- because it was a lie and his soulmate was right there!-- but James continued on. “I’ve just met my soulmate. The redhead in our year, you know, Evans? She hates me right now, but she’ll fall for me soon,” he said confidently.

Sirius nodded, too numb to do anything else, and that had been that. When he sat on the stool and the Sorting Hat dropped onto his head, he argued with it.

Not Gryffindor.

It’s where James would be put, he was sure. He wouldn’t be able to survive seven years sharing a dorm with him, he just wouldn’t.

So he fought and fought until the Hat finally called out, “Slytherin!” and he didn’t look at James as he walked to the Slytherin table.

~~~

Sirius tried not to stare at Lupin in shock. He succeeded, but it was a near thing. “Not many people have two soulmates,” he said neutrally, offering him a hand up.

He’d already taken it by the time what Sirius had said sunk in, but then he flinched away, choosing to stay sat on the floor. Sirius let his hand fall by his side, then, when Lupin showed no signs of getting up, he sat criss-crossed on the ground in front of him. Sirius wanted to sigh; it’s not like he meant to run into him on the stairs, crashing both of them down. However, since he had, he couldn’t ignore this new information.

“Does Potter know?” There wasn’t any mistaking the strong outline of a lily flower, and even less mistaking the leo constellation it encased, with-- surprise surprise-- the regulus star bigger than the others. Apparently Miss Evans was also a doe, based on Regulus’s second soulmark. Sirius needed to focus on Reg, that was the more immediate situation on hand.

Lupin glared at him. “You’re not going to tell him.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, wondering if he could get away with telling Lupin that, as Potter’s soulmate, it was technically his right to inform him that his girlfriend had a soulmate that wasn’t him. Of course then he would have to admit that he’s known all along that James Potter was his soulmate, and that was not a pile of hippogriff shit that he wanted to deal with right now. Or ever. Instead, he asked, “Does Regulus? I don’t know why I’m asking, really, he obviously doesn’t know. If he did, you three would already be together. Rather determined, little Reggie.”

Lupin-- hell Sirius should probably start calling him Remus since he was his brother’s soulmate-- didn’t let his expression waver, but a flash of something went through his eyes. Hope, maybe?

“I wonder if his other soulmate is Lily too,” Sirius mused, purely for Remus’s benefit since Sirius didn’t believe Reg would have two soulmates that weren’t involved with each other. Regulus wasn’t going to take that first leap, unless someone nudged Remus he wouldn’t either, and like hell would he talk to Evans about this even if she was the one most likely to do something with the information. “He’d be happy to hear that, I think.”

Remus snorted. “Happy that he has a muggleborn and a- someone like me for a soulmate?” The stumble in his words reminded Sirius that Remus didn’t actually know they were aware he was a werewolf. Sirius thought for a moment about telling him, but that wouldn’t go well, and besides it wasn’t his problem. “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

“Have you ever talked to my brother?” Sirius asked pointedly. “He’s not full of as much blood purist shite as you seem to think.”

“And you?” Remus challenged, but he sounded more curious than accusatory, so that was something. It’s not like they’d fought in all their years at Hogwarts, preferring to simply not talk.

“Until my beloved parents are with the Black ancestors of generations past, the official party line is that I am.” Sirius shrugged with a helpless ‘what can you do’ air.

“And you’re telling me all this why?” he asked suspiciously.

Sirius stared at him flatly before saying, “You’re my brother’s soulmate.” Sirius got to his feet and dust off imaginary dirt from his robes. “Regardless, if you don’t tell him by tonight, I will.” He didn’t wait for a reply before he started walking away. He’d probably tell Evans tomorrow unless Reg could give a good excuse for why he shouldn’t. Even if he did, Sirius might tell her. He was selfish, and honest enough to admit it, if only to himself.

“Wait!”

Sirius paused, half-turning so he could see Remus, who had finally stood up.

He looked around, checking that no one had entered the corridor. “Does he know? About Lily?”

“Not yet. He had his suspicions about you,” Sirius added. See? He was a good person, helping other people find their soulmates even though he’d already said all this, if not in so many words. His previous good mood was rapidly turning to shite. He was happy for Reg-- really-- but that didn’t mean he wanted to be in the thick of things.

“And if I don’t tell him, you will. About both me and Lily.”

“Yep.” Sirius couldn’t deny that Evans having a confirmed soulmate in Remus and Regulus didn’t make him happy for the specific reason of breaking her and James up, but he would have told Regulus about her even if it didn’t benefit him. Knowing that didn’t lessen his building self-hatred.

“If he knows, he’ll tell Lily.”

“Probably,” Sirius lied. Regulus was many things, but brave in his personal life was not one of them. If Remus refused to tell Evans, Sirius would so Reg wouldn’t have to-- he wasn’t about to let his little brother suffer when he didn’t have to. He also didn’t know Remus well enough to trust that he’d take one for Reg. Soulmates or not, they didn’t know each other yet.

Remus chewed on his lip for a minute, before coming to a decision. “Do you know where he is right now?”

“Common room.” Unless he’d randomly decided to ditch his homework in favour of a walk like Sirius, which wasn’t likely.

“Will you take me?”

The only surprise Sirius showed was a single, out of place blink. “Sure.”

In the end, Reg was smiling, although he’d banned Sirius from being there for the conversation with the excuse that he wasn’t part of the relationship and therefore wasn’t needed. Sirius sighed dramatically, like that wasn’t the case, but left them alone. He didn’t have a chance to interrogate them about what they decided because Regulus came in the common room, gave Sirius a quick hug and smile, then left again.

Sirius was left staring after him, wanting desperately to ask if they were going to tell Evans. It was stupid, but he wanted Potter to be… unattached. Sirius couldn’t be with him, but he didn’t want anyone else to be either. They were soulmates, they belonged together. But- but they couldn’t be together. Frustrated with himself and his contradictory thoughts, Sirius stalked out of the room and through the castle until he was at the base of the astronomy tower.

Then he was even more upset.

He would come up here sometimes because it gave him a great view to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch practice, but it was far enough away that they wouldn’t see him. He did it more often when he was younger because now that he was older, he was in more classes with James. They actually interacted now, for classwork if nothing else, and there was nothing else. He had asked him out last year, when his heart was pounding just that bit too hard to be ignored, and gotten a confused ‘no’ in response, like James couldn’t understand why Sirius would even think to ask him. He’d tried to get some emotional distance since then, but clearly hadn’t succeeded if his subconscious took him here. He wanted to punch himself-- emotional distance from a soulmate just wasn’t possible.

Sirius sighed in defeat and trudged up the stairs. If he was already here, he might as well go all the way. He sat on the edge, letting his feet dangle as he leaned back on his hands to look at the sky. It was already past ‘getting dark’, but hadn’t quite reached ‘night’ yet. It was a good time of the day, in Sirius’s opinion, but he was biased-- being able to see in the dark because of his animagus form definitely had to do with it, not that he could tell anyone else that.

He was sat on the edge for- Merlin he didn’t even know. Long enough that it had become fully nighttime. Long enough that when he heard footsteps and turned to look, his body protested so completely that he couldn’t turn his head.

“Sirius?” James. Of all the people that could find him right now, James was probably the worst. Of course the only good option was Regulus, but still.

Sirius thought about staying still, playing it off and talking until James left so he could try to get himself to properly move again, but the chances of him needing to leave quickly were high. Slowly, he leaned forward and stretched his arms up. “James.” He groaned when his back popped back into place. He rubbed at his neck, trying to work out the kinks as he stretched his legs out, flexing to get life back into them.

“How long have you been up here?”

Sirius snapped at him before he could process the concern in his voice, “I wasn’t breaking any rules so sod off.” He rolled his shoulders experimentally, face twisting when it sent shocks of pain through his arms. “What are you doing up here anyway?” It’s not like most people came up here by themselves.

James didn’t say anything, but he didn’t leave. He sat on the floor next to Sirius, not bothering to pretend he wasn’t looking at him. “I have it on good authority I’m an oblivious idiot.”

“Congratulations.” He was not in the mood to have a heart to heart. He wanted a soft surface, a warm blanket, an even warmer drink, and some bloody privacy.

“Lily is soulmates with your brother.”

Was he fucking serious right now? He wanted to talk about that? No. No way in hell. On another day, in a different mood, he’d be able to. He loved talking about Reg, he loved talking to James, and he’d be able to ignore James’s love sickness enough to get through a conversation. Right now though, he would literally rather jump in the dungeons with Blast Ended Skrewts. He started to scoot back from the edge, mentally preparing himself to stand. His arse was sore, and he was sure his hips wouldn’t be doing him any favours. Being around James was too much pain on a regular day. When he was feeling this off-center, this vulnerable? Forget about it. He could not deal with this right now.

“And Remus,” James continued, as if Sirius wasn’t actively trying to leave. “Her soulmark was vague enough that I thought it might be me, but apparently Remus’s isn’t.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why he didn’t just tell me.”

“Maybe because you made heart eyes at your girlfriend any chance you got,” he ground out.

“Maybe,” James said, completely unbothered with the way Sirius was climbing to his feet, getting to his own like he was determined to have this conversation with Sirius no matter what. “Why don’t you date?”

“What?” Sirius asked, so thrown by the subject change that he paused in his escape.

“Plenty of birds are dying to get your attention, but you don’t care. Why?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” he snarled. Gods why couldn’t he be left alone just this once?

James caught Sirius’s wrist before he could leave, but his grip was loose, uncontrolling. “As your soulmate, I think it’s my business,” he said quietly, in a completely un-James way-- Sirius had only ever heard him speak proudly, confidently.

He froze, eyes wide and feeling like he couldn’t breathe.

“I used to think it might be Lily,” he continued, in that same, soft voice, “we both had vague enough marks and if we looked at each other the right way, it almost worked. We never liked each other enough for that to work for long. We were basically broken up when Remus and Regulus talked to her earlier, it just needed to be official.”

Sirius tried to speak, but swallowed several times before he could. “I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“‘Bright star’. That’s what my mark says.” His thumb gently stroked the skin of Sirius’s wrist. “Do you remember when we first met?” He waited until Sirius nodded to continue. “We fit. But when you got put in Slytherin, I was young and stupid enough to think it meant we couldn’t be. I’ve never felt like that with anyone else. Have you?”

Sirius was trembling but shook his head in affirmation. Everything he’d ever wanted to hear James say, was being said, but… “I have responsibilities. To my family.”

James looked heartbroken when Sirius slipped his arm out of James’s hand.

“And so do you.”

As he walked down the spiralling stairs, his steps piercing and echoing, his chest tightened. In all his years of imagining, he’d never turned James down when he asked. When he pictured it happening, Sirius told his parents to bugger off and he left with James, running away like Reg had mentioned.

Sirius was halfway to the Slytherin dorms, barely keeping himself together by the seams. It wasn’t until he heard noise in the corridor behind him that he realised he couldn’t deal with anyone like this, wouldn’t be able to keep a blank face, let alone pretend he was fine.

“Sirius!” James stopped in front of him, clearly having been running. Sirius wondered if he’d run all the way from the tower. “Last year-- you asked me on a date. Where was family responsibility then?”

Sirius blinked dumbly at him. He remembered? “It was a mistake,” he said slowly, like his body was too busy trying not to cry to accomplish anything else, even so practiced a lie.

“No, me saying no was a mistake. Sirius… give me another chance? Please?”

Unbidden, tears started slipping down his cheeks. “That’s easy for you to say,” he croaked.

James tentatively hugged him, holding him more completely when Sirius folded into him, his head resting in the crook of James’s neck. “I’ll help you. Whatever you need, whatever I can do, I will. We could be great together. I think I can make you happy, let me try.”

Sirius let out a wet laugh, but it sounded (and felt) more like a sob. “Yeah? And when my parents kick me out?”

“You’ll always be welcome in my House. You and Regulus both.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

James kissed the side of his head, and Sirius found himself feeling a little better for it all the while wishing it was more. “You better.”

#filled #prongsfoot #marauders #sirius black #regulus black #remus lupin #james potter #no voldemort au #slytherin sirius #hogwarts time #getting together #soulmates #lily evans/regulus black/remus lupin #siriuslystarbucks #andromedablacc

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