The Man of Double Deed
“There was a man of double deed,
Who sowed his garden full of seed;
When the seed began to grow,
'Twas like a garden full of snow;
When the snow began to melt,
'Twas like a ship without a belt;
When the ship began to sail,
'Twas like a bird without a tail;
When the bird began to fly,
'Twas like an eagle in the sky;
When the sky began to roar,
'Twas like a lion at my door;
When my door began to crack,
'Twas like a stick across my back;
When my back began to smart,
'Twas like a penknife in my heart;
And when my heart began to bleed,
'Twas death, and death, and death indeed.”
The Possession ( Sequel to Mystery of Laufey Manor)
Read Chapter 9 here // Series Masterlist
Summary : Loki tells you the truth about your parent's death and you make a decision
Trigger Warning : Discussion of death and suicide
"How did your parents die?" You looked at him, your eyes teared up instantly, you have never talked about your parents with him. He just knew of the fact that they passed away. It was raining heavily and you two were stuck at the shop, so you pulled out two chairs in the middle of the room and sat down with him.
"My mom died when I was 19, from a heart attack. She was getting sick frequently prior to that but she chalked it up to regular sickness. Nobody knows what happened, she was too young to have a heart attack. I was in the hospital, sitting right next to her bed..as she.." your eyes filled up to the brim so he grabbed your hand and made you sit on his lap, he wiped your tears and kissed your forehead softly to comfort you, hands caressed your back soothingly
"I'm so sorry darling" you wrapped your arms around his neck and put your head down on his shoulder, his own eyes filled with tears.
"It's okay, my dad was never the same after she was gone, she was his whole world, he loved her more than anything. He was broken and started drinking a lot, so I dropped out of college to help him with the shop. Every night I'd find him crying as he held their wedding picture in his hand and the engagement ring she left behind. One morning when I went to their room to wake him up, he was gone too" Your voice cracked as you thought about the painful memory, your parents deserved better than this. They deserved their forever and they should have been here. Loki could imagine how horrifying it must have been for you to find your father like that.
"Your siblings didn't come for help?" He asked you and you looked at him
"Initially they did, but they were older and had their own life so they moved on..I never thought it would get like this at the time but Steve actually helped a lot when my mom died, he spent time with my dad every night, he got him back to just one drink every night"
Loki seemed pale as you said that, his eyes teared up again and he seemed upset.
"What is it?" You asked him and he couldn't even look at you
"Steve said something to me last night" you nodded and gulped in nervousness. You had a dreadful feeling forming in the pit of your stomach, and it was growing into a tornado with every passing moment loki didn't utter a word to you
"What did he say lo?"
"I just want you to know that he was always deranged and none of this is your fault"
"Loki, what did he do?" You got up from his lap, your eyes widened with shock and hurt.
"You moved out and went away from here when you turned 18, he was visiting your mom, always bringing her the food that his mother prepared. He was adding ephedrine in it, it's a type of drug used to manage blood pressure, prolonged consumption is what caused her heart to give out" you stepped a few steps behind as the shock, rage and disgust filled you. You bumped into one of the spice shelves behind you so he got up and walked closer to you
"Darling.." he whispered as he grabbed you and pulled you into his arms, he knew the news would devastate you and that's why he was so afraid of telling you the truth.
"And my dad? He wasn't nursing my dad back to health was he? He was poisoning him slowly right?" Your lips quivered as you put the clues together, he nodded his head to confirm your doubts, the pain you felt in the moment was unbearable, the guilt made you want to die. They died because of you, because he wanted you all alone, he wanted you alone and helpless hoping that you'd fall into his arms.
"Why didn't..he just..why didn't he just harm me..why them? They didn't deserve it Loki..they didn't deserve it" you broke down, he never wanted to see you in such excruciating pain again but you had to know the truth. He could have hidden this all his life and would have kept it all to himself to protect you from the truth but you just started to trust him and he knew hiding this would only make it worse and ruin your relationship with him
"They didn't..they absolutely didn't and neither do you alright? None of this is your fault. I know how you're feeling sweetheart, I have been there, I have been at the exact same place as you are now and even though it may feel as if the world is crashing down on you, I promise you that It would get better, I'll make it better" he hugged you tightly, as tightly as he could without hurting you.
"How..how would it get better lo? How..they won't come back..they will never come back..they died because of me" he knew nothing he could say would bring you comfort right now, the guilt must be eating you up and all he wanted to do was take all your pain away.
"They won't..but they would want you to not berate yourself for this, you're not responsible for this, Steve is and if I knew about this before I killed him, I wouldn't have allowed him to have such an easy cowardly escape, I'd make him suffer like he made you and your parents suffer"
You don't know how long you stood there just sobbing in his arms and he didn't stop you even once, he knew you needed to let it all out, the news made you feel as if your parents had died all over again and you were feeling all that pain, they would still be here if it wasn't for Steve. And now he wanted to hurt Loki too. You can't let that happen, you can't.
You pulled away from him and looked up at him, his cheeks were flushed because he was crying too, he was hurting too and you hated it. You hated how complicated your life has gotten and it would have been like this or worse with or without Loki. He wasn't responsible for all this and he didn't need to feel so, if he wouldn't have killed him, Steve would have stalked you all your life. You cupped his cheeks in your hands and lifted yourself up on your toes so you could kiss him.
"Take me home please" you whispered as your lips grazed over his neck
"Darling.." his arms wrapped around your waist
"Please take me home and love me please, I need you .. please" your voice trembled as you spoke.
He closed the shop and you both walked back home in the rain, you were hiding your tears from him but he knew, he knew how shattered you felt in the moment. As soon as you got in your apartment you took his coat off, then his waistcoat followed, your bodies were drenched with rain and all you needed was for him to make you forget about everything else, and you wanted him to make you forget what you were about to do with him.
Your lips moved in unison, the kiss was rough and passionate from your side while he was trying to be as gentle as he could be with you, you felt vulnerable and he didn't want to hurt you further.
"Y/n my y/n ..my darling" he whispered in your ear as he tried to calm you down
"Ssshhhh just fuck me lo..please" you shoved him on the sofa then you got on top of him, you hurriedly unzipped your dress and took it off while he took your panties off. He gasped as you slid down on his cock and started moving up and down slowly. Your moans mixed with his, your wet bodies clung to each other in desperation.
"I'm worried about you love, tell me that you're okay" he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. You are okay but he won't be if he continues to stay here, if he's around you, he'd die just like your parents died.
"I'm okay lo, I love you" you kissed him passionately to distract him, then you didn't stop until you felt him spill inside you, until you cried out his name. You'd never be able to love someone the way you love him, you'd never give yourself to a man the way you did with him.
He kissed you once your breathing calmed down then you got up , picked your dress up, put it back on and went back to your bedroom, leaving him all confused and hurt. He quickly got up and followed you, you were in the bathroom so he sat down on the bed. He wasn't prepared for whatever you were going to say to him next
"You need to leave" he heard you but he didn't want to believe it because it sounded really absurd to him. He was your husband and he's not going to leave you.
"You need to stop whatever notion you are brewing in your head right now" he got up and walked over to you. He grabbed your shoulders and pulled you closer to him. You glared at him as your eyes met
"I know you're hurting darling and I'm here to ease your ache, I can't fix it but I can make it better, don't do this love" he hugged you tightly but you didn't revert the warmth his own embrace held.
"You need to go, it's because of you I'm even stuck in a situation like this, if Steve was alive at least I would have gotten justice for their death, they died for nothing, them, Terry, bruce, they are all suffering because of you" He pulled away as he noticed how upset you sounded. He wasn't going to give up on you.
"You're doing this to hurt me aren't you? You think I don't know how deeply you feel for me, how much you love me, how much you care for me" he tried to kiss you but you pushed him away
"I did, I thought I did but you're not worth going through all this pain, get out of my house and leave me alone" his eyes teared up and he took a step back. The words felt like a sharp knife even though he knew of your real intentions, he'd rather get stabbed again then be without his darling, at least that way you'd be there taking care of him.
You were trying to hurt him but your own words hurt you. The pain stricken broken look on his face made you want to wallow down and beg him to forgive you, you didn't want him to feel responsible for all this but if that would save his life then be it.
"Don't do this darling, we will get rid of him I promise you"
"Oh you promise me Loki? You promise? You have broken all your promises before and I don't have any faith in a man like you" Your words pierced his heart but he won't let your words get to him. For a second he feared Steve had got you but then he looked into your eyes and saw all the love that you held for him. You just wanted him safe
"Get it all out, let me see how mean you can get with me, I am not leaving" he sat down on the bed and you looked at him all perplexed, why won't he just go and save his life.
"You need to go Loki..I'm ..I can't do this okay, the stress is too much for me to bear, I keep thinking about the moment Steve would get me and I'd slice your throat ..that's what you want? More blood on my hand?" You raised your voice and he stood up
"It's not your fault that he.."
"It is my fault okay..if I wasn't so blind and gullible I would have seen through him, if I wouldn't have been so stupid I would have saved my mom and dad ..and if I wasn't such a fool I never would have married you " That was it. That was what he was afraid of hearing from you, he didn't want you to regret him and a part of him knew that you didn't. But Just listening to you telling him that you never would have married him killed him.
You were breaking both of your hearts all over again, but you'd be okay with never seeing him again, never being able to feel the softness of his lips, never getting one more chance to make love to him than have him die right in front of your eyes. Things just started to get better in your marriage and now you were ruining it again.
He kept looking at you and you both just stood there in the bedroom staring at each other, this argument was supposed to end with him packing his bags and leaving you all alone here. That's what you wanted.
But he walked over to you instead, cupped your cheeks in his hands and kissed you fiercely. Then he went to the kitchen and made tea for you like nothing happened. You didn't know whether to pull your hair out in frustration or to shove him out of the house yourself.
"What do you think you're doing?" You followed him with crossed arms and leaned yourself at the kitchen door.
"Making tea for my wife, now are you going to argue whether you're my wife or not?" He asked you calmly, very calmly. His tone held the softest whispers you have ever heard
"Why won't you leave when I want you to leave" you walked over to him and grabbed his arms to turn him around
" You don't want me to leave darling, you need me to leave because you love me more than anything in the whole world, you feel responsible for me, you think if I'd leave Steve won't harm me and I'd be alive. You love me so damn much that you'd kill every little thing that brings you happiness just so I'd be safe. But what is my life without you darling? It would be a living hell, I'd rather perish than give up on you today"
You were shell shocked, why did you think this would even work? Why did you think he'd leave after everything you both have been through? Why don't he understand that you won't be able to handle the loss of another loved one.
"When I had no one you held my hand and you freed me from the curse, don't expect me to run when it's my turn to do the same" he turned around hoping he had knocked some sense into your head but you said next made him furious and angry with you, he didn't think it was possible for him to be so upset with you.
"If you don't leave tonight, I'll kill myself"
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