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#dark academia blog

this raging feeling of despair, agony and anger when you can’t find the book you’ve been dreaming about in it’s original language in your nearest bookshop and have to go on a trip to the one that’s far, far away in downtown.

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What I love about the people who are dark academia or want to be dark academia is that somehow everybody is polite and understanding and you have finally found people who share the same passion about literature, learning and art as you do. You could talk for hours about this one book or this one drawing, you can explain the life of da vinci and his works to them and they would listen because they are actually interested, then they would make an inside joke from a book and you would both understand it, you would begin with a Wilde quote and they would finish it, they wouldn’t ask you about you favourite clothing brand - they would ask you about your favourite poem or your opinion about Julian Morrow, that’s what I love about dark academia.

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dark academia, through literature, arts, philosophy, teaches us to seek deeper, to see notice things we never thought could exist. the more we learn, the more we understand that beauty isn’t just in the standard beautiful things. that beauty is everywhere. that love isn’t always a prince on a white horse. that things are so much deeper than that. it makes us want to understand instead of putting labels. it makes us humans.

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I’m taking it really slow today, journaling about how I’ve been feeling the past two weeks. I treat my journal like a friend I try to catch up about my life because there’s a lot that happened to me recently. I’m trying to clean my physical+online space after a hectic work week. decided to do my chores while listening to the book 𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑙 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑏𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦 throughout the day since it’s a short read. So far I really love it. And that one of the characters mentioned this about journaling, and it’s exactly how I feel about my diary — ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑚𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑐𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑙, 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑓. + 𝒊𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒋𝒂𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

𝐢𝐠 ; @𝐡𝐞𝐫.𝗺𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬

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Sitting in a dark room, the smell of old books and wine in the air, reading The Secret History since five in the morning till eleven in the evening, the twelfth mug of tea and an open wine bottle beside you, only putting the book away if you absolutely have to. Oh what a day.

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TW: this is a poem about mental illnesses I’ve struggled with, it’s actually about finding self-love but it’s kind of harsh so if you’re sensitive about those kind of topics please ignore.

I actually don’t really expect anyone to read this but I’m still gonna post it for myself (?)


I tell the girl in the glass

She’s no longer the worst

And I don’t want to hate her

Because she deserves more.

I tell her she’s good

I know she’s important

But she thinks I’m a liar

And rather ignores that.

I send her letters and roses

With encouraging words

I give her honey she spits

While I beg her to stop.

I tell her to be happy

To once for all go enjoy

But she smiles while she kneels

Before I can run.

I tell her we love her

But she’s suddenly deaf

And with a cruel laugh

She looks down and steps.

As much as I can

I try not to care

Hoping maybe one day

She can go rest.

The girl in the glass

I’m so sorry for her

She just can’t be glad

For years all has been dread.

The girl in the glass

Is fading away

I think soon enough

I will see myself.

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Dark Academia Checklist:

• You’ve read The Secret History


• Watched Dead Poets Society at least twice or more


• Favorite school class is literature/English


• Wished to study in Oxford or some other castle like university


• Unhealthy obsession with vintage clothing & leather bags


• Had a crush on a professor at some point


• Love to study with some classical music playing in the background


• Obviously black is your color


• You have a collection of gothic literature novels


• Coffee & Wine addict


• You may or may not dream of a mysterious vampire classmate to come and swipe you off your feet


•Group of friends is a mix of “misfits”

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lifestyles and aesthetics are different things. lifestyles are toxic, aesthetics are not. 

examples:

lolita aesthetic: pink plaid skirts, cherry cola, dewy grass, picnics under the bright blue sky.

lolita lifestyle: taken advantage of by an old man, being manipulated, pedophiles, daddy issues, lifelong trust issues.

dark academia aesthetic: tweed blazers with elbow patches, winding forest paths, gothic architecture at your university, books scattered and random loose leaf pages.

dark academia lifestyle: drugs of all sorts, always sleep deprived and not in the fun way, obsession and destruction, mistrust, toxic relationships, living in fear.

~~~~

it is okay to like the lolita aesthetic, the pink skirts and holding a plastic red cherry under the baby blue sky; it is not okay to think the only way to live up to it is to be with a man old enough to be your father.

it is okay to like the aesthetic of “the secret history”, the studying in the library with piles of books around you and plush divans; it is not okay to think you achieve this by murdering a classmate, doing drugs, smoking cigarettes, being obsessed with your studies so that they ruin your life.

~~~~

so many aesthetics, like the lolita aesthetic or dark academia aesthetic, get a bad reputation because people associate them with the toxic lifestyle, but liking the aesthetic is simply finding what is visually pleasing to you. act as pretentious as you please, but don’t put others down in the process. like schoolgirl fashion, but don’t do it to attract kinky old men.

~~~~

this is what you find visually pleasing vs. toxicity.

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I wonder if anyone can relate to this feeling but I was thinking about how we grow out of our social media accounts at a certain point and that it’s important to start fresh on any platform when you feel that you’ve grown out of the content you were posting/things you were following. I’d always wanted to make a blog on Instagram (mostly to share film + art history/lectures, articles, poetry, classical music performances, live jazz music, even show my DA inspired outfits and geek out on all of it.) But I knew the people who know me irl and followed me didn’t really care to see all that stuff so I felt pretty self conscious to post anything but I don’t want to be like that. I also felt like I wanted to keep a minimum amount of people to follow because the content I really wanted to see would never appeared on my feed. And when I’d unfollow people who don’t post that much and I know I communicate with them more on other mediums. They got pretty upset. So I deleted my instagram all together and it fells great to begin again. From now on I want my time used on the internet like as a tool for learning and sharing. And not worrying about feeling self conscious. ^ apologies if this blurb was a bit everywhere. My feelings towards social media are sort of hard to put into proper sentences but I hope someone out there gets what I mean

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