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#dark day

Dark Day

So today October tenth is dark day. I dont remember the exact day anymore after the PTSD but it was around this time. It was the day that I received the news that tipped my life upside down even now 9 years later it still stings and I still have the nightmares. I really dont know what to say. This year I’m doing better than other years in dealing with it, I’m better controlled with my meds and my friend is taking me out to my favorite place for food. But 9 years later I still find my finger hovering over that unblock button, 9 years later I still find myself contemplating what little memories I have that survived the mental purge and successive PTSD. 9 years later i still listen to sad songs on the tenth of October and miss her. Next year it will be a decade..


There are things we can have, but can’t keep.- Linkin Park- One More Light

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// praeter linquo //

the shadows are all fading

a sad song started to play

choked by sharp words

wounded and drained spirit


barely breating, barely beating

how can a flower look fresh and smell rotten?

how can you put stew on a bowl that’s broken?

how can you ignore a drowning woman


thy love might not be with thee

but can you atleast set me free?

i still want to see tomorrow’s sun

i still want to learn how to fall in love

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May 14th

Just a reminder than on May 14th, I will be offline for most of the day, and updates will likely not happen at all.

Yep, it’s a dark day.

If you need me during that day, you can email me. Just give me a bit more time than expected to reply at first, as I likely won’t be paying much attention to anything save my own histrionic misery.

Sorry in advance :(.

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Tomorrow’s my dark day. April 28th sneaked up on me this year. Sigh. 

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