#dark lord saltine

[chikkou]

ok i was waiting until my laptop got here to finally tell all the bullshit thats happened in the last like. 5 months lol. cause its a lot to type

im gonna put it all under the cut so no one has to read if they dont want. its a LONG fucking story.

tl;dr:

ok so for basic background, for the last two years or so, i was living with a roommate in connecticut. the roommate was my (now former) best friend since middle school. in july of this year his behavior totally shifted, and he started picking fights with me out of nowhere, told our high school friends a bunch of straight up lies abt me to make me look like a horrible roommate & person, and just generally became a two-faced dickhead. in the end, it turned out to all be excuses to justify his decision to move out (unofficially, name was still on the lease) so that he could live with his boyfriends and not pay any bills. at the time i was really devastated by this bc i felt totally betrayed by this person i had been close to since i was 12/13, but frankly after everything else that happened i barely fucking think about it now LMAO. this is set dressing more than anything else

so anyway, i had been living alone since about august, that was the last time i saw him in person. i wasnt handling the situation well because i had spoken to my high school friend and found out the extent to which hed tried to paint me as a slovenly, horrible roommate, to the point of telling actual lies about really dumb stuff (which didnt work btw - my friends, god bless them, were more concerned about my mental health than anything and thought i was going down a depression spiral, which my former friend told them he was helping me through. they believed me right away once we finally did talk). all that is to say, i was going kind of crazy lol, and i decided to go back home in october just for a short while, to recharge my batteries and all.

i was gone for a couple of weeks, not very long. i felt MUCH better after being with my family & friends in person, as i felt pretty isolated from everyone (my hometown is in new york, i was only 2 hours away by train but scheduling times to visit was sort of a hassle, so i only did it once every couple months). my grandfather and mom dropped me off at my apartment in early november, we were very lighthearted and discussing my next steps, since my shithead friend had been behind on rent more than 5 times (i always paid my half on time) and i was facing eviction because of it. we get to my apartment, i go to open the door, and it wont open. not that its locked, it just straight up WONT open. my grandpa tried to ram the door with his shoulder, and nothing. hes a strong ass dude, and this door wouldnt budge for anything.

my mom managed to get the kitchen window open and climb in that way, and it took both her and my grandpa pulling/pushing at the same time to force the door open. i wont even dress this up: there was mold. fucking. everywhere. on the floor, on the walls, all over everything i owned. i have pictures (had to take them for insurance) and im not even going to show them because they are beyond fucking disgusting. everything i owned was soaked in water and mold, and i do literally mean EVERYTHING. it was very warm in there too, like the temperature of a swamp. i was in a haze after that. i just remember sobbing, like genuinely heartbroken sobbing, as i wandered around looking at everything that was ruined. my mom & grandpa had to go and get maintenance because i was just utterly useless, and they were equally horrified & said they'd never seen anything like it.

i managed to save some items that were irreplaceable (journals, notebooks, etc) and whatever clothes werent utterly soaked in mold. all of my cookware, my books, my laptop & desktop (i cried the hardest when i saw the desktop) - it was all ruined. we found out later that the water boiler in my apartment had a catastrophic failure while i was gone, which caused it to constantly send water back through the pipes, empty, and refill itself. my bedroom was directly above the boiler downstairs, so it got the most significant amount of damage. all told, i lost like 95% of the things i owned. it is possible that i could have saved more, but the amount of mold in that apartment made it a genuine safety hazard for me to even be in there, so i had very limited time to grab what i could. the cruelest irony of all that? my shithead ex-friend's room, which was on the other side of the hallway, was pretty much untouched. he lost absolutely nothing lol.

so immediately, i had to leave the state. i moved back to ny with my family. my mother - who had a stroke last year following a diagnosis of an exceedingly rare neurological disorder, AND had two separate brain surgeries to improve her quality of life - was in the process of getting evicted. the landlord didnt give a fuck about any of my moms situation, not her being disabled, not her being widowed, not her having 3 kids under the age of 18 to care for - he just wanted her out so he could increase the cost of rent on our house. at the same time as all this was going on, i got saddled with a $600 electric bill (likely caused by the water heater's malfunction), which neither insurance nor the apartment would pay, so it came out of my pocket. in addition, i found out in december that i was also getting laid off.

we had nowhere to go and couldnt afford to live anywhere in the tri-state area. we had no choice but to move somewhere much cheaper, and since my mom already had a friend living in a mid-atlantic state, we chose to move there. the eviction went through in january and we had less than 2 weeks to pack all our shit, find a place to live, and get the fuck out. needless to say, we were not successful lol.

we stayed in my grandparents 1 bedroom apartment for about a week, then all of us drove down together to stay with my moms friend in her 3 bedroom apartment (she has 5 kids, 3 of whom live in the apartment). my moms apartment, which was supposed to have been ready by january 31st, still had people actively living there. the property manager kept promising us it would be next week for the entire month of february, to the point that my mom got fed up and chose to rent a small house instead. the reality of being essentially homeless for that time was beyond horrifying, and having anywhere between 8-10 people in that house (my cousin also moved with us, but he stayed in a hotel for the first week) was more taxing than i can express.

but things have gotten a lot better since then. i also found a cute little house to rent just up the road from my moms, and its very cheap for its size. i still havent found a job yet, but thanks to what was essentially the liquidation of everything i owned, ill be ok for a couple months more. im slowly but surely repurchasing all the things i lost and trying to acclimate to the new environment. things are still not totally stable right now, but they are slowing down, and at this point thats all i can really ask for lol.

so yeah. if u were wondering why i suddenly stopped posting after literal years of posting every day, thats why LMAO

#dark lord saltine #ik this is a massive overshare but fuck it #lifes been fucking hard lol #i have legit been saying ''everything happens so much'' since this all kicked off lmao #its sort of the family motto at this point

[the-moon-in-the-gutter]

Thinking about some of the ghouls having altars in their rooms. The spaces treated with care and reverence, an extension of their worship and their piety. All objects are placed on their altars with purpose and intent, a gift to their Dark Lord.

However, some ghouls have a tendency to forget that it's not just another table in their room. Dewdrop being the most common to place things on his altar by mistake, before realizing. There's a vase of now dried roses that Aether had brought him, accidentally becoming an offering to Lord Lucifer. The ghoul was commonly only scatter-brained when in a rush.

One afternoon Dewdrop had brought a cup of tea he had made with him, intending to place it on his dresser before rushing back to the kitchen to gather a few other things. Aether had been laid in his bed, stricken with a second migraine in a two week span. When Dew returned to his room, a collection of pain medication, saltine crackers, and a specialty tea was placed on the bedside table. It was in that moment when he went for a sip of his tea that he had realized where he placed his mug, grumbling curses under his breath as to not disturb his mate that was laying with his eyes covered in a cold rag.

After that day, his mug became a permanent fixture of his altar. When rising from his bed to go make a cup of tea to accompany his reading, he will pause by his altar. "I'm about to make some tea, you want some too?" Dewdrop asks casually, as if speaking to a friend. The ghoul stood, waiting for a glimmer of confirmation in his mind before gathering the mug to bring an offering back. All before being scolded by Aether for his intense casual demeanor with Lord Lucifer, "You cannot speak to Lord Lucifer like he's a pal, what in the hell is wrong with you?"

Dewdrop would just shrug, his mind on portioning tea into diffusers before turning to his mate. "What's the worst that can happen? I go to Hell, again?" he would ask incredulously, knowing there was a point to be made on both sides.

#the band ghost #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul

[killingdove]

immortally wounded ➳ — (h.g. & a.b.)

PAIRING: haurchefant greystone x gender neutral!wol (ft. aymeric de borel x gender neutral!wol)

GENRE(S): angst, hurt no comfort, drabble

WORD COUNT: 1.0k

CONTENT WARNINGS: heavensward spoilers, major character death, implied suicide

A/N: ...so the vault huh

ao3 mirror

You should’ve died.

With your fists trembling at your sides, you throw your head back, baring your throat to the heavens. The ache in your beating heart does not hold a candle to the ache left behind by the anguished wail that claws its way out of your chest.

It should’ve been you.

The heavens make no indication of hearing you.

If only…

A half sob follows, then–

Anger.

It settles deep, a blooming that reaches the apex of your next sorrowful cry to the skies of Coerthas above. You vaguely wonder if he can hear you from Halone’s halls.

To have your other half torn asunder so suddenly leaves you broken, a lance having pierced you straight through your heart much like his shield.

If only you weren’t in the way.

Saltine tears drop from your glassy eyes into the snow below, his gravestone and shield doing little to comfort you. Resting your forehead against the cold surface of the slab of stone, you can feel your soul yearn for what you’ve lost. From what Aymeric had taken from you.

The anger seethes, burns, forming an unyielding grasp around your quivering frame. It was Aymeric that had indirectly orchestrated the downfall of your beloved, it was Aymeric that tore, tore, tore away at what you thought was the inseparable tie that had bound you once to your beloved.

The bastard laid in bed with you that evening. His apologetic kisses left nothing but disdain in their wake. But you couldn’t deny what Count Fortemps had seen in the young commander. An uncanny resemblance to your dear Haurchefant.

You wonder what cruel trick of fate this was.

Looking past the dark curls and striking dual blue hues, you saw what you had once fallen in love with. And that was precisely what kept you tethered to the sheets, fists twisted in them as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear with remorse in deep blues that reminded you all too much of him. You moan and keen, but naught was for the man above you, this he knew.

But that didn’t stop him from loving you.

And love you he did— he was every bit the picturesque lover, attentive, kind, endearing with a heart of blinding gold. Haurchefant was no different. You figure if you closed your eyes, you could fool yourself into loving a man that you had once came home to.

You knew this would hurt him, but that pain would be nothing compared to the one you felt when a hand you had traced the palm lines of and tenderly squeezed many times before grew cold and lifeless in your own.

—

The sun sets in Ishgard again, and with it, your eyes did for one last time.

It was Aymeric that had found you.

Your hair sprawled on the ground reminded him so much of that of an angel’s halo. Your peaceful countenance was no longer streaked with the tears Aymeric had time and time brushed away with the touch of a sinner seeking repentance.

For the second time that waning moon, he felt despair and ice filled his veins. His mouth parted to call your name, to shout, to do anything other than gawk and tremble like the fingers that cradled your face.

The Lord Commander was not often rendered speechless and shocked to the core. Your name eventually emerges as a questioning whisper from the churning depths of his stupor, and the color drains from his complexion.

No.

This couldn’t be…

But there you were. Silent, motionless. Unresponsive to his screams and shaking.

He checks for any hopeful sign of a pulse before burying his face into the crook of your neck, sobs wracking his body as incessant apologies interspersed with hiccups and tremors tumble out of his lips while his worst fears are confirmed.

Why?

The inquiry directed towards Hydaelyn echoes within his mind but there is no one to respond. His gloved fists crumple into your clothing.

Whywhywhy?

It wasn’t supposed to be this way…

Aymeric couldn’t fathom it, wrap his clever head around it. It’d be a lifetime before he’d glean an answer, he reckons.

He stands, holding your fragile, limp body bridal-style, his expression a tumultuous display of emotion.

A familiar, blonde-haired figure awaits him at the foot of the Pillars, the descent feeling like an eternity without you. When Lucia catches sight of your cold body nestled within warm arms, she stands with eyes wide and mouth agape, realization dawning on her sharp features.

Aymeric’s armored footfalls come to a standstill at the bottom step. He raises his gaze to meet his subordinate’s.

“The Warrior of Light is dead.”

–

There was a unanimous agreement that you should be buried next to your true lover you had loved in your waking moments. Both of you overlooked Coerthas as Aymeric kneels, eyes shut. A fresh bouquet of you and Haurchefant’s favorite flora lies betwixt your tombstones.

There was no well in all of Eorzea that would hold all the grief and guilt the knight harbored for both a fallen comrade and the light of his life.

But alas, he couldn’t very well give into his heartsickness when the Dragonsong War remained at large and Nidhogg’s vengeance and thirst for Ishgardian blood still posed a threat. It was a Temple Knight’s duty to soldier on and carry out the will of the dearly departed that had died for the cause that had once united them.

These wounds of his would never truly heal in full, immortally afflicted as he was, but it is with honor that he continues the fight in both of your names. Aymeric just wished Eorzea’s two brightest lights weren’t snuffed out so soon and that the dolor doesn’t succeed in pulling him under.

“Come, Lucia,” Aymeric calls out. She nods in response, waiting for the commander to lead the way before trailing after him. The trek back was one of silence, rumination, and regret.

Ishgard felt darker and colder in the Warrior of Light and the Silver Fuller’s absence, he thinks to himself.

#ffxiv x reader #ff14 x reader #angst #ffxiv angst #haurchefant x wol #haurchefant greystone x wol #haurchefant x reader #haurchefant greystone x reader #aymeric x wol #aymeric de borel x wol #aymeric de borel x reader #aymeric x reader #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n

[margotmoore]

about margot : 002

              playlist ft. @wilder-kelly, @mattsullivan, @silascody,  @tailshazelwood, @nesrinadem

1. margaux  by matilda mann 2. pretty girl by clario 3. nobody by mitski 4. hold no grudge by lorde 5. for my friends by king princess 6. lonely by noah cyrus 7. tv by billie eilish 8. liability by lorde 9. happiness is a butterfly by lana del ray 10. graceland too by phoebe bridgers

“she can't decide and never cries, i think that's just her style. margaux stay a little while. countless hours spent outside to waste her time away. an overbearing, endless staring into, out of space. margaux left without a trace.”

⋆ margaux by matilda mann

“and i could be a pretty girl. i'll wear a skirt for you. and i could be a pretty girl, shut up when you want me to. and i could be a pretty girl, won't ever make you blue. and i could be a pretty girl i'll lose myself in you.”

⋆ pretty girl by clario

“and i don't want your pity. i just want somebody near me. guess i'm a coward. i just want to feel alright, and i know no one will save me. i just need someone to kiss. give me one good honest kiss, and i'll be alright. nobody, nobody, nobody, oh, nobody, nobody, nobody. and still nobody wants me, still nobody wants me.”

⋆ nobody by mitski

“remember when we used to swim, baby. no one around, take off all our clothes? and in a clear cold, we were born again. i used to count down to your birthday, now i'm not sure if it's june or july, isn't that sad? where did we go wrong? our haven was always in a song, but just when i go to close the gates permanently, i realize that it isn't me. no, i don't keep a list, can't hold a grudge. don't you think that we both might've done some growing up? yeah, i know that some shit was said and done, but it's such a different world now, I can't hate anyone.”

⋆ hold no grudge by lorde ft. @wilder-kelly

“you hate it but loving me takes patience. so we lose touch when i'm faded, and it can get dark but still i know you're waiting. loving me takes patience.”

⋆ for my friends by king princess ft. @mattsullivan

“i'm spending more than i earn, drink all the time to forget i’m not her. cause i go to parties sometimes, and i'll kiss a boy and pretend for the night. cause i don't know much about me. i'm still ashamed of who i used to be. so i try way too hard, but i still miss the mark to fit in. help me. oh, please, someone help me. i don't care, anyone, anything, cause i'm so sick of being so lonely.”

⋆ lonely by noah cyrus

“i don't wanna talk right now. i just wanna watch tv, i'll stay in the pool and drown, so i don't have to watch you leave...and i don't get along with anyone. maybe i'm the problem. maybe i'm the problem.”

⋆ tv by billie eilish

“the truth is i am a toy that people enjoy, til all of the tricks don't work anymore, and then they are bored of me. i know that it's exciting running through the night, but every perfect summer's eating me alive until you're gone. better on my own. they say, "you're a little much for me, you're a liability, you're a little much for me." so they pull back, make other plans i understand, i'm a liability.”

⋆ liability by lorde ft. @silascody

“if he's a serial killer, then what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt? i'm already hurt. if he's as bad as they say, then i guess i’m cursed. looking into his eyes, i think he's already hurt. he's already hurt.”

⋆ happiness is a butterfly by lana del ray ft. @tailshazelwood​

“so we spent what was left of our serotonin to chew on our cheeks and stare at the moon. said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment, ate a sleeve of saltines on my floor, and i knew then, i would do anything you want me to. i would do anything for you”

⋆ graceland too by phoebe bridgers ft. @nesrinadem

#about #this too me way too long sooo

[chikkou]

SENDING OUT THE BATSIGNAL TO ALL MY VOCALOID GIRLIES:

my sister sent me this and im stumped. what song is this

features the mv had:

black & white, guillotine happened, she possibly saw the head roll around but didnt see the actual cut happen

songs she said it’s not:

daughter of evil / servant of evil (she said the animations i showed her were wrong but the song could’ve been right)

bad apple (she recognized this one right away & she knows it’s not the one LOL)

rolling girl (she said it was def not this one because the song she’s thinking of has a french revolution vibe)

im confident she is thinking of daughter of evil or something else from the story of evil, but the part abt it being black & white with a visible guillotine scene is throwing me off.

please help me obi juan whoever the fuck u are. ur my only ho

#dark lord saltine #vocaloid #also she said it was ‘’anime opening style’’ which i assume means smooth animation #and for the record i definitely did NOT show her anything with anyone getting their heads cut off #so i think shes remembering something she saw on her own LOL

[chikkou]

just saw genuinely THE funniest fucking terf/radblr post ever where the post was so obtusely written that all of the replies involved people speculating whether op was a terf or not and op responded by mocking all of those people individually.

spoiler: literally every single commenter on the post was a terf LMAO

#dark lord saltine #disclaimer that i am in fact mocking terfs and transphobes in general. i am not a terf or radfem

[chikkou]

really upset that karlach hasnt fucked me ten ways from sunday. like is this not the entire purpose of the game

#dark lord saltine #blocking anyone who says theres a ‘’story’’ in this game that doesnt consist of karlach absolutely railing me btw. just know #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers

[chikkou]

I FINALLY HAVE A COMPUTER... AFTER MONTHS OF SUFFERING ON MOBILE IM FREEEEE

#dark lord saltine #i have SO much bullshit to unload holy fuck

[chikkou]

it would be so funny if the tumblr girlies discovered peep show. that show is the most dry, banal interpretation of homoerotic codependency. like genuinely an accurate summation of it is: “two characters who despise one another but love & need each other to the point of constant mutual sabotage”

#dark lord saltine #like i wish i was kidding but that is accurate.

[chikkou]

i just went thru my asks for the first time in months cause ive been DUMB busy irl (will explain later) and man. one of y’all sent me the weirdest series of asks i have ever fucking seen LMAO

#dark lord saltine #not gonna post it but if that person wasnt just a kiwifarms rando they know who they are #and they should be very embarrassed bc they tried and failed to get a reaction out of me despite explicitly requesting one LMAO

[chikkou]

#dark lord saltine #on GOD mel hates me.

[chikkou]

WHAT THE FUCK HAVE THEY DONE

#PLEASE TELL ME XKIT FIXES THIS #DARK LORD SALTINE

[chikkou]

oh i forgot to tell y’all todays my birthday.. whoops LMAO

#dark lord saltine #happy late birthday to me! now i’m twenty-[REDACTED]

[chikkou]

life is just the dumbest bullshit ever happening over and over again, and that just kind of keeps going for a while

#dark lord saltine #if u heard the bullshit ive gone thru the last few days u would think i was fucking making it up

[chikkou]

whichever one of you bastards did this, just know.

your days are numbered.

#anya's anons #dark lord saltine #djskfhsdfjkdafjk

[chikkou]

i absolutely flipped my shit the other night because i was playing overwatch 2 (yes i know i have deficiencies) and i was playing reaper and i swear to fucking god i almost screamed bc one of reapers new respawn voicelines is.

“they cannot kill me in a way that matters.”

I LITERALLY SPENT LIKE 5 MINUTES GOOGLING VARIATIONS OF THAT QUOTE TO SEE IF IT ORIGINATES FROM SOMETHING ELSE AND COULDNT FIND ANYTHING....... HAVE WE REALLY GOTTEN TO THE ERA WHERE TRIPLE A GAMES ARE DIRECTLY RIPPING OFF TUMBLR POSTS

#dark lord saltine #im still HOWLING over this #overwatch