Annabel Lee
She haunts me.
Inspired by the piano rendition of Edgar Allan Poe's poem by by my roman empire BRMC.
If you're interested in some prints, I've set up a shop:
https://society6.com/yuukicyan9
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Sixhundred and sixty six
A poem I wrote today on my 666th day of sobriety
TW: mentions of drugs, abuse SH etc
Today marks my Sixhundred and sixty six days day of sobriety. Sixhundred and sixty six days ago I decided to make a change. A change that would save my life.
In those sixhundred and sixty six days I have been able to see just who you truly are.
My mind was scrambled, I had been brainwashed by you. I believed you loved me and I truly loved you back. I want to know when you fell out of love? Why is it that you no longer loved me when I was clean.
For years you had taken advantage of me because I was unwell. You held me close as you kissed my scars, telling me that you would never hurt me but when in reality you would cause me the greatest heartbreak. You left me no choice, I hated who you had become. I handed you divorce papers and wondered if I was doing the right thing. Was I really willing to throw 10 years of marrage down the drain?
On my six-hundred and sixty sixth day of sobriety I see you only liked me because I was a mentaly unstable little girl, 12 years younger than you. When I looked at you I saw security, I felt safe. Only 21 and fresh out of the psych ward when I fell into your arms, now I am a 33 year old woman who wonders if I wasted my life on a man who never truly loved me, only likeing the idea of me.
Dispite us being divorced for some time now I can't seem to get you out of my head. You won't leave me alone, claiming I need you and I do need you. I miss you, I miss your touch, I miss the way you would make me feel but you can never know that.
Now I sit here admiring the fresh wound on my wrist, a wound you promised you would never cause yet you did.
On my sixhundreth and sixthy sixth day of sobrety instaid of poping pills in order to forget you I take a walk in the forest. I let the rain fall on my skin as I let myself forget about you.
As much as I try to forget you I'll never forget you. You will haunt my dreams for eternity. Right when I'm over you, you spawn back into my life. You can never admit you are wrong. Instaid you go out and paint yourself as innocent when I was the true victum of your crimes.
On my sixhundreth and sixty sixth day of sobriety I wonder what would happen if I never got clean. Would I still be with you? Would you still love me? Would I finnaly OD and rideoff into the sunset?
I'll never know the awnser to that question but I must know did any part of you truly love me or did you just like the idea of me.
On my six hundredth and sixty sixth day of sobriety I feel free. I feel like I can do anything, even leave you.
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Sometimes I wonder whats stopping us from forming our versions of a Dead Poets Society or secret books clubs or something like idk the Collaboration Of Idiots That Write Dramatic Verses… then I realise that it’s cuz Tumblr has social anxiety
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i tear my heart open for you
i show you the patched up
tendons
the bleeding scabs
my therapy notes even
beg you to wipe the pus
to love me even
i promise you the world
in prose
in a voice long forgotten
you still leave
i am walking around
with an open wound
catharsis.
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I’ve been wanting to start posting on tumble for a while, but never did. I was going to start posting on Twitter then Elon changed it to X and I’m like I’m better off not having something that looks like a corn app on my phone.
Anyways, I’m going to start making posts for my astrology girlies, poems, talk about spirituality, art and all my other favorite things. I’ll also be posting photography as well. Some self care tips and self love advice too. So yeah if your interested like and follow and let’s be mutuels. I’ll organize the page as we go forward.
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