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sinfulsalutations · 1 year

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𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕗𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕪 ⋆*･ﾟ 𝕔𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕩

➼ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ ☆ ᴄᴀᴘᴛᴀɪɴ ʀᴇx x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

➼ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ ☆ ꜰɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ꜱᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜ ɪɴ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪꜱ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴡ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇx.

➼ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ☆ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ʜᴜʀᴛ/ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ, ᴍɪʟᴅ ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ, ᴘᴏꜱᴛ-ᴜᴍʙᴀʀʀᴀ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ, ᴏᴘᴇɴ-ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ (ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱʜɪᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɴᴏ ꜱᴇɴꜱᴇ ʟᴍꜰᴀᴏ), ᴘ*ɴɢ ᴋʀ*ʟʟ ɪꜱ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴅ ɪᴋ ɪᴋ ɢʀᴏꜱꜱ

➼ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ ☆ 2ᴋ

➼ ᴘᴏᴠ ☆ ᴛʜɪʀᴅ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ

➼ ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ ☆ ꜰʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛᴏʀ - ᴄʜɪʟᴅɪꜱʜ ɢᴀᴍʙɪɴᴏ

⋆ ★ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ. ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴀꜱᴋ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴜᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴜʀᴛ/ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ.

➼ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰɪᴄ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ 18+ ᴅɴɪ

⋆ ★ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴀᴏ3 ⋆*･ﾟ ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀᴍ

He didn’t realize it until General Krell had drawn Rex’s attention to it that fateful final day on Umbarra. Rex’s calloused, dexterous fingers curled around his two blasters as he stared down at the traitorous Jedi, body crumbling under the weight of his own armor and the entire kriffing galaxy. All of a sudden, the world became heavy; the world became terrifying in that small fraction of a second he wasn’t able to pull the trigger.

It took Dogma, who had so devotedly defended the general before, to finish the job. To execute the order Rex gave himself. Before the shot went off, little thoughts were able to pass through Rex’s mind; only the little ideas he was raised with, and the orders cemented into his brain at his creation. Be a good soldier. Follow your orders. Listen to your superiors. Do what they say, always.

But then, standing with his blasters pointed at a Jedi, he broke his code. He broke the orders he knew to be right. At least, until he shot down his own men. His own brothers. The people he shared the same face, blood, and beliefs with. He stood for all of them at that moment, his anger and desperate need for vengeance coursing through his veins, and yet, he still couldn’t execute the final order.

When the 501st finally returned from the treacherous mission, he did not put a hand, a single finger on his blasters strapped to his sides once. His arms stayed glued to his sides and he spoke quickly, spoke enough to order and command like he’s been raised to. If he did any more, lingered for any longer with his tongue or movements, he would break. Crumble and teeter over the cliff into the deep waters of his own, mental Kaminoan storm and be unable to come up for air. Not if there wasn’t anyone around who knew. Who he let understand him as a real person. He would drown if she wasn’t there.

His hands stop trembling when they come to hold her waist. His lips are firm when they mold to hers, finding home after starving for weeks away from the refuge that is her body. The moment he could, he rushed to her apartment. His foot tapped against the floor quickly and unsettling; he simply itched, ached to see her again in a way he hadn’t before. The second the door fell open and she emerged, effortlessly beautiful as always, he let her hold his face, cradling his body softly as he gripped her soft curves and crevices and pushed her up against a wall softly.

She gasps, but he swallows the sound. He consumes everything he can, everything that is her. Eventually, after the heavy kissing, the shared longing, and the newfound power they found in each other, they are in the bedroom in the darkness, and Rex heals.

City lights and the night sky peek through the curtains and illuminate her face just enough so he can take her in entirely again, memorize her little details and crevices again and again until it is etched into his brain permanently and it’ll never fade.

“I missed- missed you so much, I- oh cyare -”

She is the perfect remedy in Rex’s eyes; just her existence makes him soar with a newfound ability he didn’t know he had. The ability to wake the next morning and make it through the rest of the day, knowing he could return when it was all over to her and her softness. She gives him the power to survive another day.

She holds onto the dip where his shoulder and neck meet as she buried herself into his warmth, crooning softly with whimpers and moans, moving her chin up and finally speaking for the first time that night.

“ I’m here, baby. I’ll always be here, you always have me. ”

Those simple words make Rex let out a guttural groan from his stomach. He takes a hand that was curled around the bottom of her thigh, holding her legs in place so he could fit into them, and instead trails it up to a hand she had lying on the pillow the back of her head rested on. Carefully, tenderly, firmly, he moves their hands around so their fingers interlock together beside her head and he kisses her hard. A way to cement everything he wants to say, but can't find the courage to.

A gasp comes out of him when they break, and he rocks into her again after he’d stopped. She sighs again, eyes fluttering close for a moment. She moves to nip at his collarbone, stifling her noises as he continues working at their pleasure.

“ Please, Rex, need you. Need you so bad. ”

His hand squeezes hers and he continues. He shifts the two of them around, lone tears cascade down her face that he gets to lick up, and Rex gets her to come twice before he even thinks of finishing. The hand he keeps interlocked with hers, and doesn’t let it go, not once. For once, it is a reminder that he doesn’t shake when he is with her, that he can hold her against him and make love to her like he once did when he was young and strong. Before the war ruined him, he was the same. He can be that with her.

Yet he trembles again in the shower after the act is done. He finishes on her stomach and rubs it tenderly before trying to get a towel to clean her up with. But she holds the back of his head and kisses him to stop him from fussing about the mess he’s made. Sometimes, she still needs to remind her that despite the war ruining Rex, she is perfectly fine letting him ruin her.

But as they break the kiss, he can see the distracted gaze in her eyes. He still cleans her, but she holds his face and nips at her bottom lip.

“Baby, I have to go.”

Of course, he let her go out and do what was required of her. He couldn’t be selfish; Rex held enough self-awareness to know he’s done the exact same thing to her. Left her shaking and on the precipice of breaking down when he had to leave her, once again, for the GAR. The last it happened was before Umbarra. Before he noticed the way he shook as he worked. Now he knows, brutally aware of the way she leaves him. And for the first time in what felt like forever, as warm water pelted down and washed the shampoo out of his hair, he cries silently because he is a man tainted by war again.

When he returns to her bed, tired and unable to salvage his despair and soul-crushingly loneliness in the dark of early morning, he has a nightmare. He trembles, trembles, and trembles some more in the cold wrapped up in blankets that smelled like her but weren’t her. She was warm. She was warm and real and if she was here he could hear her breath. Feel her chest rise and fall and trace her face with the pads of his fingers. When he is alone in a place so uniquely her he only has reminders of the man he could be in her presence.

At the thought, Rex raises his hands into the air above him. He tries to feel her skin, feel her body against him in the empty room. From all the memorization, he can make out her face in the darkness; her legs around his middle and her small, soft hands coming to each of his temples, eyes trained on him. With his love and his memory, even though she is miles away, she is there with him.

And his hands stop shaking for that moment.

He is unsure of when he falls asleep, but by the time he awakes, he feels the early afternoon light reaching his tingling body and warming his senses. His sleep schedule must be kriffing ruined, but it’s difficult for him to care. Not when suddenly, he didn’t have to drain and waste his fractured memory; her body, her soft and supple skin presses against his.

He opens his eyes and she looks down at him with bags under her eyes. He turns her around so her side fully rests on the mattress and her eyes bore into his. The datapad in her hand was no longer relevant when they both could have each other in their arms, just like this.

“ Thank you for coming back .”

Rex is unsure why he thanks her. Of course, she’d come back to her own apartment, come back to him. He held enough trust in her to know that. Yet it still surprises him every day she does, every day that when he was away she picked up the comm with a grin so wide he could hear it twinkle from klicks away.

She smiles and gives him an opened mouth kiss, shifting around so her body fell into his. Rex’s hand falls to her hip, softly rubbing it before squeezing, simply testing to see if she was really there, that his memory of her wasn’t giving him a false sense of comfort and hope. But instead, her hand rises and she places it over him, softly squeezing back and the corner of her eyes crinkle.

“Thank you for coming to me .”

He takes her again after that, rather lazily. She has to do most of the work, not that she minded all that much. And again, his hand comes to interlock fingers with one of hers and his breath fans over her face and neck, heavy and laced with shaky exhales, the shakiest he is around her.

He even says it. Actually says it, out loud.

“It’s all made me tremble. Made me shake. I’m weak. Kriff, I’m- I’m weak without you.”

The confession has her wail, wail so softly it can barely classify as one. But with a kiss, the only noise that comes out of her is a lovestruck moan.

“You’re strong no matter what. You don’t need me to be strong .”

That’s when he turns them over; from their spooning position he lays her onto her back and he grounds her hips and the hand he holds into the mattress. When she moans at the sensation, he only continues; he strokes and hits all her spots just right. It takes all the remaining energy he isn’t using to pleasure her to get out the next words without sounding scrambled.

“ If I don’t need you, then I’ll want you. I want you to make me strong. Stronger .”

She whispers into his mouth back, just as breathless as him,

“ I will. Oh- Oh Rex, I will.”

She sobs when she finally comes, and Rex sucks at her bottom lip, eyes shut close tight and eyebrows pushed together. It takes everything in him to finally break away and catch his own breath. He doesn’t even think of his own release, and instead watches her lips move as she continues where she left off.

“ Make me strong too. Hold me so I never tremble.”

Suddenly, a sob comes out of him as well, and he rocks into her. And again. And again until he finally comes. He doesn't pull out and lets his cum slowly trickle out of her as he hesitantly pulls away to grab another towel. When he cleans the two of them up, his hand comes back to hold hers, and she sighs wistfully.

“ You make me strong too, Rex .”

His eyes come up to meet hers, almost confused. The look amuses her, but the energy in her eyes doesn’t meet the rest of her face.

“ Really ?”

“ Of course. ”

Her hand squeezes his again, and for the first time that day, something close to a smile is crestfallen on Rex’s face.

He doesn’t tremble after. Not with her body against him, nor with her memory permanently on his mind and skin.

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a-dorin · 4 years

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sorrow | fives

word count: 978

warnings: angst (lots of it and i am not sorry), ptsd, dealing with grief, mentions of loss, mentions of death, mentions of violence

prompt: “You gave me the ok so here we go: Fives comes back from Umbarra and just needs to be held because he almost died and so many of his brothers did and just some really soft fluff. I really don’t care how long you make it but I am a whore for soft fives”

one hand rested on the transparisteel, speeders zooming by, the lights glittering. coruscant at this time was enchanting, a sprawling ecumenopolis bustling with the chatter of civilians, advertisements flashing, neon lights twinkling and glowing.

the other hand clutched your heart, your mind racing as your eyes scanned the skyline, desperate to witness that shuttle descend, to watch as it docked, promising of soldiers.

soldiers returning home.

“miss,” your advisor cleared his throat, his cerulean skin a silvery hue in the light, “i received word that your fiance has returned from umbara.”

your heart fluttered, a sliver of joy bubbling in your stomach.

“linus, will you inform him to come visit?”

“dully noted miss,” linus dipped his head, “although, from text inscribed in the transmission, you may want to prepare yourself, (y/n).”

“what do you mean?”

linus’ eyes scanned the datapad, shaking his head slightly, “it appears as if the clone army suffered from heavy losses-”

“that is all i need to hear,” you exhaled, crossing over to your desk, “please, linus, if you see fives, just send him in, will you?”

“always,” linus responded coolly, his head tails swinging behind him as he turned, padding towards the grand doors, “the second i am aware of his presence in the senate building, i will fetch him.”

“thank you,” bringing your fingers to your temple, you inhaled deeply, in a vain attempt to keep your composure.

“anything for you.”

settling into your chair, you absentmindedly sift through some paperwork. yet, it was no use.

there was no distracting from the inevitable.

it was almost as if you could sense his presence as he approached the doors. the temperature of the air decreased, the space crackling as three soft knocks echoed.

springing from your chair, you smoothed out your gown, running a hand through your hair, “come in.”

the soldier who stood before you was no where near the man you once knew.

eyes that were once glimmering chestnut pools, bursting with joy and amusement were now hollow and vacant.

two obsidian canyons, deepened and carved by grief, hardened by loss.

new wrinkles etched into his forehead, his lips curved into a frown.

yet, the moment his gaze fell on you.

the corners of his lips tugged into a weary, broken smile.

“i never thought i would have lived to see that gorgeous face again.”

“oh fives-” your lower lip quivered, tears blurring your vision.

there was a flurry of arms, bodies tangling together as you held onto him, clinging to his blacks. his head burrowed into your chest, his shoulders shaking as he wept. wails rang through the office, bouncing off the walls and back into your ears.

the cries were far more horrid the second time.

“i-i-” fives sputtered, but you were quick to hush him.

“my love,” you murmured, your voice faltering, “you don’t have to-”

“we lost so many,” the words were barely strung together, “we lost so -- i lost so many of my brothers.”

squeezing your eyes shut, you inhaled sharply, “fives, i am-”

“i wish i could forget. baby, their faces are permanently ingrained in my head. they won’t fuckin’ leave. every time i close my eyes, i see their faces. i see us all in the mess hall together, sharing a meal. i remember the jokes we shared and the nights where we’d disobey orders, just to sneak out and watch the stars as we floated in space. but then, oh gods. i can’t shake it away. i remember how they died, and how i just watched.”

“fives,” his name was firm as it rolled off your tongue, an attempt to soothe him, yet your fiance continued, his voice eerily quiet as his head rested on your collarbone.

“how come it was them but not me? how come i got to live while my brothers perished?”

a hand laced into his dark hair, fingers running through the locks, “fives, i want you to listen to me. i was not there at umbara, so i cannot even fathom how awful it was. i know how much you adore your brothers. not only do you fight for the republic, but you fight for your brothers too. i can promise you that their deaths were not your fault, fives. i know that you fought hard for them.”

“but i failed to protect--”

“you did not fail,” you whispered, “fives, you did not fail.”

“i love you,” fives let out a shaky breath, his breathing more steady as the cries ceased, “i couldn't even fathom of any other woman in my life, cyar'ika. you know when the timing is right and you always say the right things.”

“i need you,” you murmured, your voice delicate, “i love you too, fives.”

“i need you, cyar'ika,” his gaze drifted upwards, “i’ll always need you. especially during times like this.”

“i won’t ever stray from your side,” leaning in, you placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, “i won’t ever leave you, fives.”

“do you promise?” the words were a content sigh as your fingers began to roam, tracing his back.

the soldier’s grief dissolved for a moment, his features softening as fingertips danced, drawing lazy circles and shapes.

for a moment, the memory of umbara disappeared from fives’ mind, his thoughts replaced by the sheer bliss of being in your embrace. the arms of the love of his life. his soul mate.

for a moment, the sorrow was diminished.

yet, in your heart, you knew that there would be more instances like this. more moments in which you would bring the soldier comfort as he wept, promising that there was always a new dawn. that there would always be a light at the end of the tunnel. that there would always be light in the darkness.

that there would always be joy to come after the sorrow.

“i promise.”

#fives #star wars #the clone wars #star wars x reader #fives x reader #this is my first time writing about him so be gentle please #fives fluff #fives angst

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