#das all yall hoes talk about on here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

graceslcver · 1 day

Text

all da ladies love leo valdez ! leo x daughter of poseidon!reader

｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ in which, leo has a crush on yet another girl that’s beyond his league, percy’s sister … and his friends flame him for not being able to confess his feelings!

— this is set in like… university ?? obviously jason doesn’t die…hope u enjoy my first ever fic on here!! might be ooc, soz🫐 also jeyna is a thing…. sorry not sorry!! 🤓😂 (it’s actually not even relevant to this story, but i thought i’d let u know…)

IMSG, “THE LOST HOES 🫤” July 4th, 2024

beauty queen

do yall ever wonder how it’s impossible to not pull hoes

like it sounds like a real SKILL issue

superman

who are you talking about, pipes?

beauty queen

who do u think I’m talking about???

the only mfo who doesn’t have a gf???

do NOT play dumb jason grace

latino elf

oh wow

talking shit in the gc is crazzyyy

superman

i wasn’t!

she was.

beauty queen

do not make me pull up our private messages

latino elf

i see how it is…..

😔 it’s always the bitches u think u can trust…

superman

beauty queen

why is he the driest man alive

this why we didn’t last ong😭

latino elf

or maybe because ur lebanese ???

superman

she’s cherokee huh

wait is that supposed to say lesbian?

latino elf

isn’t that what it says…

beauty queen

💀💀

ok… anyway can we talk about the fact that leo has

been madly in love with y/n since like… forever???

latino elf

no thanks

didn’t ask

not true

lying on my name

superman

yeah yeah whatever helps you sleep at night

beauty queen

he’s down bad shhh

latino elf

OHHH GODDD 😭😭😔😔😔

ok so what if i like her shes so fine

and so nice and sooo mermaid 🧜‍♀️

beauty queen

she is very fine and very nice

and yes she’s very mermaid

superman

we all know he isn’t going to say

anything to her, though, right??

latino elf

hahaha 😂 wdym 😂

i’d tell her if percy weren’t her brother

superman

that didn’t stop you from trying to

flirt with MY sister though???????

latino elf

yeah that’s different tho

she COULDNT go out with me

beauty queen

not like she wanted to anyway

latino elf

gtfo

anyway i don’t plan on telling her that

i have any slight interest in her! 😎

superman

you should though

bet she likes you too

beauty queen

don’t feed into his delusions

superman

gosh pipes, pipe it down a notch

latino elf

fr listen to my bro ‼️

how would i even tell her dawggg

WHAT IF she rejects me 🤨 BOOM FRIENDSHIP GONE

superman

yeah i guess so

but yolo ???

latino elf

yolo my ass bro😒

superman

ok sorry for trying to help

beauty queen

this why she dont want u

latino elf

yeah nd thats why yo relationship was a LIE 🤣

superman

😐

beauty queen

🖕🏼

latino elf

lol ur mad

ok bye u guys are a snooze fest 😴

beauty queen

go talk to ur gf

latino elf

i will, beauty queen 🫡

IMSG, “Y/N 🦈” July 4th, 2024

leo 🛠️

hey hey mermaid

y/n 🦈

hi leo !

whats up :)

leo 🛠️

the sky duh

nothing much tho, just chilling in my dorm

u should totally pull up

y/n 🦈

we’ll see 🧐

i’m in the library rn

leo 🛠️

nerd alert ‼️

y/n 🦈

ok but when u fail our exams dont come crying

leo 🛠️

if it were math/science i would be resting peacefully

but no fr i did study, trust 🙏🏼

y/n 🦈

not that u needed it though

you’re smart enough

leo 🛠️

wowie thanks mermaid

da ladies wish they had my smarts

y/n 🦈

🤨🤨

leo 🛠️

sorry that came out SO wrong 😭

y/n 🦈

ok ok well pull up to the library

perhaps i need ur smarts

leo 🛠️

si señora

will be there in a few 😎

shark_girl • 2h

send message ♡ ➣

pipermstealer replied to your story

omg he wants uuu 😳😳🤣😂

shark_girl

why are u insane

😅😅😅

pipermstealer

i am not insane he wants u

what boy willingly wants to study w a girl

shark_girl

one that’s my friend???

pipermstealer

friend my ass bro

he wanna kiss u so bad…

matching usernames??? THE MAAAN WANTS UU 😭

shark_girl

be fr we’ve had them since we were

like fifteen 🙄🙄

pipermstealer

bro get out I’m actually DONE

u have to wake up queen 😭🙏🏼

IMESSAGE, PIPER & JASON July 5th, 2024

pipes 🌸

i am so SO DONE with yn

jason ⚡️

why

pipes 🌸

bc she’s convinced that leo don’t want her

jason ⚡️

i think its very obvious

do you think yn wants leo thats the real question

pipes 🌸

ABSOLUTELY ?????

she has extreme heart eyes for him

but she’s better at hiding it

jason ⚡️

wait are you being serious

NO WAY

NO WAY??

a girl out of his league actually wants him 🤨

piper 🌸

wait I thought u knew???

jason ⚡️

uhm no

she must be good at hiding it

piper 🌸

or boys are just dense

jason ⚡️

ok well…….

we have to get them together

cause I’m so tired of hearing leo ramble abt her

piper 🌸

ok well i’m tired of yn too

how do we get them together

jason ⚡️

uh I don’t know?????

now why would you think I know

aren’t YOU the daughter of aphrodite

maybe YOU should know 😒

pipes 🌸

someone’s mad

but i don’t know?

one of them has to say something eventually….

jason ⚡️

no way, leo would never… not too sure about yn though.

leo cares too much about their friendship

and he is convinced she only sees him as a friend

and he’s deathly afraid to ruin their friendship

pipes 🌸

why do we have dumb friends

why can’t THEY SEEEE

jason ⚡️

yeah it’s very annoying

man, maybe we shouldn’t interfere?

let them figure it out themselves

pipes 🌸

unless u want leo to date the first girl

who gives him the opportunity to date her,

i think we SHOULD interfere! not a lot just a tiny bit 🤏🏼

jason ⚡️

well i guess you have a point… but how?

pipes 🌸

OK hear me out fr

u share a dorm with leo, yeah?

he always leaves his phone unattended

go into twt and make sure he isnt logged into his private account

jason ⚡️

where is this headed

pipes 🌸

ok shut up

OK but make sure hes on the main

since he always talks about her on his priv

so if yn sees a tweet about her then

SHES GOTTA KNOW

jason ⚡️

FIRST OF ALL thats an invasion of privacy

SECOND OF ALL what if she doesn’t see it before

leo realizes that wasn’t tweeted on his private account

pipes 🌸

no she like stalks his twitter so she’ll see!

and uhm so what if it’s an invasion of privacy

he’ll thank us once he gets the girl of his dreams 🙄

jason ⚡️

ok then….

i’ll do it

but if this backfires i was not apart of it

pipes 🌸

yeah yeah whatever

i’ll take the blame

FIVE DAYS LATER, TWITTER!

IMSG, “THE LOST HOES 🫤” July 10th, 2024

latino elf

HOLY SHIT

IM JUMPING OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF

it was so nice knowing u two

superman

don’t kys ur so sexy haha

what happened though

latino elf

i accidentally tweeted something

about yn.

on my main.

superman

hey man, maybe she didn’t see?

beauty queen

yeah she probably didn’t

latino elf

yeah u guys are RIGHT 😅

she DIDN’T SEE IT!!!

beauty queen

mhm

latino elf

you’re being oddly quiet…

beauty queen

sorry????? IM BUSY

latino elf

yeah huh

superman

you’re crazy

latino elf

oh my god i’m gonna throw up

my friend ship is over with her

she messaged meEEE

HELPPPP

superman

MESSAGE HER BACK???

GO GO GO GOOO BRO

latino elf

no i’m leaving her on delivered

beauty queen

i swear to gods if u don’t message her

jason and i WILL jump you 😭😭

superman

exactly!!

latino elf

it was so nice being her friend 🫤

beauty queen

BRO STFU AND READ HER MESSAGE???

latino elf

ok fine

bye…..

IMSG, “Y/N 🦈” July 10th, 2024

y/n 🦈

leo did u mean to tweet that?

leo 🛠️

tweet what 🤨

y/n 🦈

you know what I’m talking about

you’re not stupid

leo 🛠️

you’re crazy

i got hacked by

jason

y/n 🦈

you’re crazier for thinking I’d believe you

so… u did mean to?

leo 🛠️

i don’t want to ruin our friendship

please don’t let this ruin it

you’re my bestest friend

y/n 🦈

gosh let me talk

i thought you didn’t like me

so i never said anything…?

but i like you, leo. i really do

leo 🛠️

oh my god

are you serious

wait i’m going to your dorm

y/n 🦈

what??

Delivered

Leo looked at his phone for a good second and then left it on his bed, unattended. he ran to your residence hall— it didn’t matter to him that it was quite literally on the other side of campus. he needed to hear you say the words he had been waiting to hear since he was fifteen. he’d always had a slight crush on you, mostly off and on.

But during the summer, he had fallen for you even harder than he thought he could. he never thought that he could love someone as much as he loved you. anyway, he was practically dying as he ran to your dorm! his hair was disheveled, and he was panting a bit. he wasn’t sure if he was sweaty because he was nervous, or because he had just ran to get to your dorm.

He knocked on your door three times.

You jumped out of your bed. you felt like throwing up from how nervous you were. you quickly slid on your slippers, and looked in the mirror before you opened the door for him. (making the poor boy wait). you adjusted your hair, making sure it sat right.

You took a deep breath before opening the door. you almost didn’t, but a voice in your head was telling you that you’d be an idiot if you didn’t open the door. your hands gripped the doorknob, and then unlocked it. leo was practically dying because you were taking years to open the stupid door. you finally opened it, getting met by a disheveled-sweaty-flushed leo valdez.

“Hi.” he croaked out, his voice cracking slightly. he felt like he was on fire, literally. he wanted this to be over with! well, no, that’s a lie. he just wanted to be your boyfriend already.

“…Hi.” you answered, your voice was quiet. you had an awkward smile on your face. you were praying that you would just drown at this moment. you’d much rather enjoy that than this.

He cleared his throat, and finally spoke after a long minute of awkward silence. The two looked at each other “I really… really like you. I.. Uh.. You obviously know that already, but I wanna tell you in person?” he said, nodding along with his own words. his hands went to fumble with the hem of his shirt, anxiously waiting for your response.

“I really like you, too.” You replied. you didn’t feel as nervous as anymore when he started to talk. you felt your face getting hotter, and your smile getting bigger. he grinned at you like an idiot.

He thought that he was dreaming when you said you liked him. The start of something. “Really?” He asked, just wanting to hear you say it again. He couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. He thought never in a million years that you’d ever like him! You were totally out of his league. you were so awesome, so pretty, and so sweet.

You nodded again, rolling your eyes. “Yes, really.”

THREE MONTHS LATER… INSTAGRAM!

shark_girl

🎶 let the light in : lana del rey (feat. father john misty)

Liked by percysbeth, lava_boy, pipermstealer, and 122 others

shark_girl happy three million years with my boy!!! i love u so so so much leo 🫶🏼🫶🏼

tagged: lava_boy

View all 16 comments

lava_boy who is that sexy man in the 2nd slide

→ shark_girl idk i found him at the store……

lava_boy we’re literally like this 🤞🏼👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

lava_boy te quiero !!

→ shark_girl 🤍🤍

lava_boy ugh why do we literally solo everyone in new rome

→ shark_girl ntm on percabeth !!!!

→ percysbeth 🫡🫡

pipermstealer yeah you’re welcome 🥱

→ supermantaylorsversion i did all the work

→ pipermstealer i gave u the idea

→ lava_boy thank u jason 😒 thank u piper 🙄

→ pipermstealer i hope she leaves u

→ shark_girl woah guys no need to say that

percysbeth i support 🤫 (pls cook for me leo)

→ lava_boy on it 😎

lava_boy

🎶 ivy : frank ocean

Liked by supermantaylorsversion, shark_girl, and 98 others

lava_boy I would like to thank poseidon for being a father to my wonderful girlfriend of THREE DECADES 😎

tagged: shark_girl

View all 19 comments

shark_girl I THOUGHT THAT I WAS DREAMIN’ WHEN U SAID U LOVEEEE MEEE 😭😭😭

→ lava_boy the start of nothin 🦈

shark_girl i’m taylor lautner

→ lava_boy FORREAL

shark_girl hi bf 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

→ lava_boy hello girlfriend.

→ shark_girl 😭😭😭

pipermstealer no because you guys are actually cute

→ lava_boy ACTUALLY cute 🤨

→ pipermstealer what do u want me to say yall are actually ugly

→ shark_girl pipe it down a notch 😔

supermantaylorsversion he’s a romantic now

→ lava_boy erm i’ve always been one get out 🤓

percysbeth no cause yn has actually dressed up as a shark

→ lava_boy send pics or it didn’t happen

→ percysbeth check imsg

→ shark_girl i thought that was PRIVATE

→ lava_boy LMFAOO U LOOKED SO GOOFY

→ shark_girl you’re done….

｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ hello….. first smau done 😎 hopefully u really like this bc i died ten times whilst making it !!! uhmm pls lmk what you thought about it 🥲!!! i was sort of rushing at the end, so umm.. shhh 🤫…. @thelostheroo @amoosarte

also i will have a master list soon….???? (hopefully) and my requests are OPEN! so, plsplsplspls request…. con amor, mo!

#𐙚 graceslcver #₊˚ ⊹ my writings #leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez x you #leo valdez x y/n #leo valdez x daughter of poseidon #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #pjo x reader #jason grace #piper mclean #percy jackson #pjo fanfic #percy pjo

144 notes · View notes

catboy-lover-archive · 3 years

Text

Obey Me Romanian MC

idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)

Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30

Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele

[added translations]

(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)

Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?

MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah

MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.

Asmo: Awww

Beel: :(

Belphie: What?!

Satan: Why?

MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴

Asmo: But I thought you could-

MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-

MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*

Solomon: What is this weird potion.

MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*

MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖

MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?

MC: Tsch tsch tsch

Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond

MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it

Lucifer: Fair enough

Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?

MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔

MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨

(after the Belphie incident)

MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too

MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜

Belphie: My butt still hurts...

MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)

*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*

Mammon: W-what's that???

Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose

Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!

MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)

MC: Who has summoned me?

Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.

MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨

Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.

MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*

Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable

MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-

Barbatos: MC...

MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.

Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?

MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*

Diavolo: Do you like my castle?

MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.

MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows

Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...

MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳

MC: Real music here 😌

MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*

Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...

MC: That's the spirit!

MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!

Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.

Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.

MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼

Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!

MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...

MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?

Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*

Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*

MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*

MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!

MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊

Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-

MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)

Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?

MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*

MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...

Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?

MC: The secret is to use your wrist-

MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?

Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?

MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you

MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?

Simeon: ...what? :)

MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!

MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there

MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.

Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.

MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is

Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.

Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.

MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️

(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)

MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*

Belphie: *misbehaving*

MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)

MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*

MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ

MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)

MC: Where is my țuică? :)

Everyone: *quiet*

MC: I won't get mad :)

MC:

MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)

Everybody: *runs*

MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use

Levi: *exists*

MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*

MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)

MC: Lucifer you don't understand!

MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!

MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore

Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight

MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)

MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică

MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)

Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe

MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)

Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?

MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)

Mammon, clueless: ok thanks

MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like

Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?

MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.

Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*

Asmo: Please love me!

MC: *already in wedding attire*

MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!

MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?

MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT

MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*

MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)

MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again

MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.

MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)

MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)

MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition

Diavolo: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)

Simeon: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)

Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...

MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)

MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?

MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake

MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house

MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN

MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so

MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*

MC: that works wonders for me

#IM SLEEPY SO IM GOING TO SLEEP AT 7AM BYYYE #♡♡♡#romanian mc #romanian mc obey me #obey me #obey me swd #Diavolo e dilf nu ați auzit de la mine #romanian #romania

49 notes · View notes

es05l2k5sl · 4 years

Text

I'll never understand why WB had to redesign the Batcast for the new Bat adventures. Some characters took getting used to. But as for the villains, I'm roasting they asses cus they're ugly. Can't change my mind.

These Oswalds together look like 2 different people bruh. But we're here to talk about new Oswald. This Wimpy x Olive Oyl fusion snoody looking ass bitch. I'd like his outfit if it didn't have that lazy drawned bow tie looking like 2 triangles glued together & those fake ass MJ gloves. Also when tf did he have 10 fingers in dis universe? Also fuck that hair. Rocking a balding Mullet like ponytail before. Now it's just a boring cut down. Got dat snooty ass bitch look on face like his bird shit don't be stinking. I'll rock tf out u. Lookin like a whole ass Looney character or sum mf from the 30s.

Wot da fuck dey got Selena wearing here? Sis looking like a whole ass alien. Kid vs Kat looking ass bish. And her skin white af too? Did sis fall in some damn Joker acid too? Sis whole lower face is white as shit! Dat shit paler than crack. Like sis got the white slapped outta her and she just turned whiter. Das probably what happened. Her ass probably got on my mans Bruce last nerves one night and got da shit backslapped out her ass.

So my dude Matthew got turned a different color pal & got his neck privileges revoked? Lazy af but not the worst revamp.

You kno that meme: "upgrade, upgrade, FUCK GO BACK!"? Dis pre much sums up Jonathan here. My mans jus looks so dirty here. Looking straight outta da trash bin. Like literally dirty. Nasty ass teeth probably got dat hot ass breath blowing thru them bitches. Das a real fear toxin right there. Long ass black as shit dirty ass hair. Tryna copy off my girl from the ring w dat shit. Need to take dat dirty ass wig and mask and Amish hat tf off my dude. It is not rocking you. Dat whole worn out trashy ass outfit ain't working for you either hoe. You need to take yo ass a bath bitch cus your arms looking brown and ashy as a bitch. You can not even THINK about borrowing anything from me w yo dirty creepy stalker lookin ass. If you don't put down that damn stick like yo ass need help walking and shit I oughtta bitch ya ass with the shit fo going around dressed like dis. Take that damn rope off your neck bitch fo I do something Bruce won't do.

Bruh, you can not go up to my face and tell me these niggas are the same person in the same mofucking universe! Jervis What da fuck did they DO TO YOU MY N**GA?? N**ga looking like a damn leprechaun with special needs and shit. Rocking all dat dookie green swag but you got no swag anymore my dude. It's shit like you clothes and yo breath! Yo shits wasn't perfect and white before but them hoes looking hella worse now. What you get drinking all that damn tea my n**ga. Ol Tiny ass n**ga. Like wot. HOW?! HOW TF DID YO ASS SHRINK??? LIKE SOMEBODY TOSSED YOU ASS IN A LAUNDRY DRYER AND PROBABLY FORGOT TO TAKE YO STUPID ASS OUT. PROBABLY WHY YO HAIR WHITE AND SMALL AS SHIT YA UGLY ASS LUCKY CHARMS LOOKING ASS CRACK FEENY. If you don't hop yo ass back under a rainbow with dem skinny ass broken heel lookin ass tap dancing shoes.

Victor, bruh, they dem did yo ass so dirty in the new adventures. I ain't gonna lie that new suit kinda ok. But you looking like a whole skeleton and shit. Lookin like a young Palpatine & shit. Ol Frisky dingo looking ass! Need to put those goggles back on. The least yo (spoiler) 2003 Baxter Stockman ass can do now.

Yo ass probably looking mad as shit cus ya can't jack it no more n**ga. Dats all gon now. Long with yo unloyal ass wife. How tf she gon bounce on you after everything you did for her? After all the years and bull you had to put up with & she leave yo cold ass for another nibba? Fuck DCAU Nora. Just fuck her.

Scarface lookin like a damn Fanboy & Chum Chum character & his boy over here lookin like Chode. Next.

UUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHGG.

Just. UAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH. Bruh I will never understand who tf thought this shit was a good idea?! Like who the fuck, was drawing dis nigga. Drew DIS Sus af shit. LOOKED at dis shit. And said to deyself: "Yeah dats da Riddler aight". HELL TO THE NAH DAT AIN'T NO DAMN DAS A (dick) FIDDLER! HE LOOKIN SUS AS FUCK NOW WITH THEM TIGHT AS GREEN SPANDEX AND THAT DARK AS HELL EYELINER. Looking like gay Christmas elf! Looking like a gay ass ballay dancer with them Spider Gwen ballerina shoes. You can't dance for shit nigga! Yo shit is SOOO DAMN TIGHT like I can get a good sight and shape picture of yo "Question mark" I'm telling y'all. sSSSUUUSSSSSSS. Looking like a bigasss lima bean. Skinny ass Jack skeleton moFucka. Like. They did my boy Eddy so freakin dirty with this. My mans had class, style, a nice look, HAIR. Now he. Whateverthelivingfuckdisbaldasspeterpanlookinmofuckasupposestobe. And i hate how that's how he did be lookin in almost every new Batverse when why tho? Nigg(m)a look stupid as hell. How tf he expect to be tooken seriously dressed and lookin like dis ? If I saw dis fucker in real life and he threatens me, imma laugh at his ass and beat him with his cane. Get ya Richard from Allen Gregory looking ass away from me. I can't!

Bruh it don't look that much but they did my mans Harvey dirty too. LOOK AT MY MANS FACE. good half i mean. Yall nigs kno. THESE MUHFUCKERS STRIPPED HIM OF HIS PRETTYNESS! Man. Dis version of Harvey was a pretty muhfucka. You can't deny dat shit

Even when he became Two-Face he still got dat 1 side of pretty. And that deep af panty soaking voice to go along w it. He dat half and half package.

Now HE LOOK LIKE DIS

WHOEVER TF DID DIS NEED DEY ASS WHOOPED! SQUARE TF UP NOW. NIGGA LOOKS LIKE EYEBROWLESS VERSION OF DOC FROM SECRET SATURDAYS. FAT ASS BLOCK NOSE MUH FUCKA. His eye looks like traingle with a Nike logo on top of it. Lookin like a poorly drawn Dwayne The Rock Johnson. And ya other half ain't lookin that good either. Dat 1 eyebrow putting Helga Pataki to shame! I mean the shit didn't look good before but it was somewhat tamed, now the shit looking like full grownass caterpillar. And that lip black as hell. Kno that side dirty as fuuhck!

I don't even know what tf I'm sposed to say about DIS except (kinky..)

Angelica pickles looking ass. Bigass blonde captain coconut looking ass hairstyle. Looking like a blonde creepy ass Wednesday Adams. Dem black as fuck Kim possible lips. She actually looking like a family guy character with that bigass head and small body. I SWEAR she ded looking like one of Stewie's ex's right now my dude! Got tiny ass flat ass guitar chip shoes. Looks like sis wearing fucking Zippers as shoes. Sis got that "i got something planned fo yo ass" smile. Sis look like she plotting something or did some evil shit already.

. . .

Bros I'm sorry but I'm just as confused as you like. I can't find a single thing different about Harley. Like literally nothing. Her makeup at night be looking blue sometimes, looking like a fakeass Livewire, but nah. They didn't even touch homegirl. Why tf is Harley the only character that stayed the same?????! Niggas was playing favorites. They had plans for that ass since day one. They was probs like: "Aye y'all. DO NOT TOUCH HARLEY. SHE STAYS THE SAME!" "why?" "JUST LISTEN TO ME BITCH!" "Wha bout her mans?" "Oh hell yeah fuck his shit up!" ...sigh.. Yep. It's that time...

UaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH what else is dere to be said about dis ugly ass nigga? Dis nigga look like Yakko Warner & Freakazoid's love child! Dis nigga look like a random Tiny toons or Animaniac character! With that dookie green shirt and flower. You and Riddler's gay ass both matching them Dexter's laboratory Gloves. Why tf yo eyes eyes black as fuck tho?! How tf does one do that to theyself?! Yo ass probably snorted some shit and ya shits expanded and that's prolly yo pupils with ya cracked out ass. Nigga don't even look like a clown no more. Hell Jared Leto Joker atleast had the lipstick down. Dis nigga got dem ashy ass lips hanging out. Nigga think he owning too. Nigga you don't own shit! Broke as hell now. And yo design broke too. Joker? Man more like Broker. Got dat fairly odd parents hair. Got that Cosmo and Wanda in one. Like bitch if you don't. Just like Riddler i can not take yo animaniac looking ass serious. You do not scare me bitch! Bye!

Now see dis? DIS is Aight! A lot more fitting and & faithful to the character. No over the fucking top redesign, you can actually tell it's the same damn character as before, a little bit of swag for personality

So that's the tea. Ivy & Croc are the only good rogue redesigns in the whole series, evBody else ugly as shit.

352 notes · View notes

sikereviewdotcom · 4 years

Text

undercover brother (2002) review

sup been a while but didnt forget about yall and your eager butts to dive head first right in the flooding words coming out of my mouth today gonna rev "undercover brother" (2002), its gonna be solid guys

so we start with an introduction where we talk about how black culture was losing its flavour after the 70s, progress was slowed down n all as we reached 2000 but dont be fooled, its all cause of a buncha events orchastred by "the man"... a big racist mf ig whos also the kkk equivalent of the team rocket boss, sitting in a ig chair, never see his face in the flashbacks or like the bad guy in inspector gadget, more like him ig since we actually see the team R boss face quite often nonetheless, theres a form of mystery folding this whole business... THE MAN acts in the shadows and he hates to see how dark those are, he wants things to be like it used to be back in slavery times good oltime for him but.. not for the fam

ofc then here is introduced THE REAL MAN OF MEN => undercover brother, our hero and damn he has the style of a whole pack of elephants trampling around in pink disco suits every ladies wanna a piece of that sweet fro he is packing up on his head, funky

ngl, the whole way this mov is filmed n edited is sike asf, dope guys especially considerin its actually made in 2002, loving it anyway then were also introduced to the other secondary protags who are from an organisation here to stop The Mans evil doings and careful: undercover bro was actually a solo act until now cause now they gonna collaborate all throughout da mov: its the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D, with conspiracy brother (tbh a fav here, guys wack like the whole plot guy thinks computer comes from a story involving peanut and idk guys he keeps rambling bout bs which makes him a+ character) smart brother, chief and sister girl (original name/10)

so btw the organization is on a mission rn at the beginning to destroy The Man (lets call him tm for the rest of this rev) financial infrastructure aka funds to stop him better or smthg and it gets spicy as they get caught but ofc undercover bro barges in from nowhere wow big disguise as an old man no one noticed him so like slash bawow boom vlam, bad guys ko and he squeedaddle out of there like twas breeze gg man, he also get fed a nice editing of xrays battle like with a side of kungfu n whatnot, undercover bro knows his stuff

nice sounds effects ah yes btw romantic intrigue with sister girl begins here, its the zinc of the flinch as ub (undercover brother) notices her big wink wink nudge nudge, btw later she is asked to go enlist him in the corps so he can help stop the man with them n shit and he trynna get her in his bed cause thats we this brother is used to, getting laid as soon as he meets a chick, who can resist this dude?

he gots moves, fro, style, skills and also at times he is a pussy but k, not everyones perf sometimes you just simp for a white blond blue eyed woman (spoiler) and crawls on all four looking like a big preppy nerd btw in this review im trynna not spoil the whole plot cause guys, this movie gotta be on yo watch list kay? im not here to ruin this experience in yo life itd be pretty uncool of me so im just gonna state the big lines then its up to you to swoop the tiny ones out of the watch, knot your own breds n stuff

back on the whooper slapping: intro credits roll, we get some nice back story for our hero, making sure we can understand his cause in saving the black peeps from TMs assholery might truth n justice be your guide

so what the big plot then? well yknow how a big antag cant do shit on his own cause hes too busy sticking brooms up his ass in his private quarters? yea well same goes here so there this gay guy who will be twerking later on btw, a scene to behold, rumps to ogle at, so hes a bad guy and gay n gonna do most of the dirty work for TM, whats new? idk what to think of it yknow its a stereotype in movs so ig ok still uncool but ill see it as all in good spirit cause theres bad n good im not excepting this to be the best watch of my life, nah it wasnt either, but i had a good laugh kay? makes up for it cause unlike some here i got no shit up my ass alley its clean scrubbed up n down so i can smoothly take a chillax up n a shit out without a night tormented by constipation, nah its all sliding where it should no pain no sweat

so the big lines is that a war hero whos a black man is gonna become president and wtf no is the only react racist mf could have which is what they have, bad guys gonna stop it from happening at once and the brotherhood aint letting it happens cause obvs something is wrong as every black peeps gonna turn into a stereotype like waddup in this mad world? its all because of the poisonous fried chicken brand TM will get around ty to another poison to make our war hero delusional n so on were also introduced to white evil she-ra later btw, just dropping this in cause undercover brother really wants to make oreos with her n sister girl (his words) ig shes the second love interest, im not too invested in this romantic intrigue it was just necessary not like twas very developped anyway its even more of a bedroom intrigue when it comes the the white blue eyed blond chick, sister girl before hoes yo

whats it in conclusion about this movie? first, the plot: hilarious biznasty worthy a+ bs especially how its turned yknow, the clichés were turned upside down n if not theyre just turned into a big satire of themselves editing + music ? yknow its actually good, and funky asf im digging it, a travel in time nostalgia of times i lived acting is pretty neat its not an ironically good movie cause its hilariously ridiculous in the making way its all about the plot here, plot twists and characters, the whole universe ig like its superior to big mamma sorta plot or maybe im dropping this comparison cause its been a while since i saw big maam, for sure twas under estimated while over brought when this here? it got freshness packed in

the spoiling was light and this is cause this movie got a 69/10 rating jk 8/10 if were gonna be serious, im gonna list wats unwoke n uncool here: 1 gay villain stereot, gotta be honest here its not that big of a deal tme seeing when it was made and how i still laughed yknow idc this much but some could go apeshit over it 2 not enough conspiracy brother content: this is all i ask for 3 had no snacks while watching the movie, too bad id dig a aj or grape soda right about now n then 4 more lines for car wash chicks jk this last one idc about, but car wash representation is lacking once again in american movies, i cant believe how looked over it is, as if they didnt need smore rep in the medias its not an easy job washing car all day long, standin in those ghost buster lookin suit while staring at the hot guys in hot wheelys, whos gonna pay you a drink when youre just an old carwash lady? thought finally a hero would step up in this movie but there it goes thrown out da window, the potential was real until it got blown away sure sister girl was a solid character but give the washers some credits cut them a slack of free time n have a lil date together there on top of a truck to keep it native

nonetheless this is a top rec for anyone who feels like slipping into some conspiracy slippers

tg, out

#undercover brother #sike reviews #movie review #undercover brother review

4 notes · View notes

mollyravioli · 5 years

Text

Hey y'all its like 2am and I've been thinking ab the energy some classical pieces radiate

Today I'll be talking about Mozart's requiem cause that shit fucking slapped

Anyways let's start

6.dies irae (I know that I shouldn't start from number six but I'm too tired to remember the others I'll do it tomorrow) that shit gets a 8/10 just bc it was too fast for me to play. Yeah I know I'm a little bitch. So i would go with chaotic bitch energy

7. Lacrimosa For those who don't know it yet (everyone duh) lacrimosa is my favorite piece mozart has composed. I've heard many things ab that piece being unfinished till measure 8 or whatever but who cares I like it. I give it a sad (nice) bitch energy

3. Rex tremende I can only say that this shit gives me chills so its a yes yes from me. I would say it sounds like a depressed bastard energy shit to me (that's a compliment btw)

2.(don't fight me I told u I forgot the others) confutatis BiTCh sLAPPEd that shit is beautiful honey i couldn't play it cuz our dumbfuck conductor thought that the tempo was like 1000 but its ok its over now(my dumb ass is so stupid that I forgot that I'll be performing it again) it sounds pretty chaotic but I'll go with bad and uwu energy smh (if that makes sense that doesn't)

1.the beginning however its called (I swear I'll check) I can't say that I really like it but it definitely gets u in that requiem mood so 8.5/10 and its a kinda depressed hoe energy tbh

{Y'all small update I just checked and found out that the first piece is called requiem (I can't believe it doesn't have an actual cool name like honestly I can't say unstan but -1 for creativity) anyways let's continue}

3.tuba mirum Y'all I can't really bs about this cuz I don't remember it completely but I think that it was kinda calm (although it says andante) so I'll give it some uhh calm dick energy

5.(number 4 was rexy) recordare I don't remember whether the soloists sang here but anyway, imma not say that much cuz it was a solo and that bitch stole it from me(now between us there's no way I would get a solo I mean that was like a year ago and I wasn't the first chair (duh u dumb) so its normal) I'll give it lonely thot energy (yes thot)

8.domine jesu That was definitely the calmest and most peaceful of them all (probably) I don't wanna bore u (that I already did) so let's say peaceful ass energy

9.hostias I. Couldn't. Fucking. Count. This piece was really lovely but (especially at first) the dynamics called me a bitch that can't count so its my turn to say dumb bitch energy

10.sanctus Finally adagio sistas. I remember when we performed this that a lady from England spit on me smh (why am I saying this wtf) anyway heres some good ass energy yall

11.benedictus Sis slapped. That was really a nice piece everyone enjoyed (mainly cuz the conductor decided to use a normal tempo) also the ending was really nice y'all. Anyway that's some exciting bitch energy

12.angus dei Das endeeee. So that's the final piece of requiem and although its not one of my faves its still really nice. Even the fast part in the middle was nice tbh. Good as fuck, ur doing great sweetie. That's a 10/10 and a bad bitch energy.

Uwu that's all(I can't believe its 3am) I know that nobody is gonna read this because 1its hella long and 2i don't have followers smh but anyway I have school tomorrow mozartellas so good night

#took me a literal hour to write this #i regret nothing #requiem #mozart #wolfgang my boy youre amazing #i need to stop #i need sleep as well #clasicalmusic #classicaloid

30 notes · View notes

likeadrug-ff · 6 years

Text

F O U R

L O N D Y N

After Loryns grand opening we waited for her to come back so we could go out and celebrate but this hoe never came home. So the girls and I went to bed while mama went back to work. Kaiden ended up sleeping over but left early to check on his brother.

---

All this week I had my head in the books studying for my exams. It was definitely crunch time. I had just got done taking my exams and I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I had a good feeling about my results so I called the girls after I got in the car. I leaned the seat back and got comfortable while waiting.

“Waddup bitch?” I could tell that was Leilani stupid ass. Laughing at her I said, “what yall doing tonight?”

“Wait. Can we make this a group face time?” I huffed and pulled the phone away from my ear. I clicked the face time option and seconds later their faces popped up. “Yall hoes aint doin shit.” I mumbled looking at them.

“Girl I just left the shop. Im relaxing so shut up.” Loryn replied. “Speaking of the shop, where you disappear to last week?” Waiting for her reply, she looked away smiling hard, im talking dimples hard. “Must've been with Ace huh? I seen him sneaking in.” Leilani blurted out.

“Girl,” Loryn smacked her teeth, “he came in there talking bout he had a gift for me in the car. I know yall seen me leaving with him. Anyway, we get in the car and this nigga hands me a duffel full of stacks.” My jaw dropped. “This bitch didnt say a stack. Her ass said full of stacks!” Lolani beat me to it. “Girl get out of my head!” I teased.

“This the good part here, he also got me this Pandora bracelet,” she lifted her arm to show us, “and a Cuban link chain. Then gon’ come out his mouth and say, dont get fucked up out here. Remember who ya man is.” We all screamed and gassed it up. “Oh shiiiiit sus! My sista got a man, my sista got a man!” The girls and I sung. The only thing Loryn could muster up was, “I guess so.”

After we all calmed down I repeated my question from earlier. They replied with basically saying nothing. “I just got done taking my exams, and I dont feel like going to work at that bargain store.” Leilani smacked her teeth. “They gon’ fire you yo.” I shrugged. “And I wont give a fuck. Anywho, lets go out tonight? Drinks on me cause I know I aced that shit!”

“Free drinks? Hell to da yeah!” Lolani snapped her fingers and started dancing. In high school I had this friend that made fake IDs. I asked him to make some for us and he did it with no problem. It had our pictures on it but he just changed the birthday. “Thats what Im talking bout. Well Im on my way home so get shit popping.” I hung up on them and cranked my baby up.

When I made it home and inside, the girls had Dreezy playing throughout the house. Mama was still at work of course. I went to my room and hopped in the shower before running the flat iron through my hair. “Let me use your foundation.” Loryn came in the bathroom looking through my cabinets. “Im almost running out now.” Shes been using my shit more than me. “I’ll get you some more.” She replied and walked out with the foundation in her hand.

“Are you ladies ready?” I glanced at the clock and seen it was hitting eight thirty. I had enough time to do my hair, a nice beat and get fly as fuck. I picked up my shoes and everything else I needed before turning the light out and heading in the living room. All my sisters looked good. Right when we were about to walk out mama walked in.

“And where in the hell are yall going?” She examined our outfits and shook her head. “Where the rest of yall clothes at?” I leaned all of my weight on one leg and sighed. “Ma c’mon now.” She kissed our foreheads and said, “please be safe and look out for each other.”

“Oh yeah, can we drive the Rubicon?” Loryn was fidgeting with her hands. Mama cocked her head to the side. “And who will be driving?” They snapped their heads in my direction saying, “Londyn.” She took the keys off the wall and held them to me. “Dont wreck it!” She yelled as we rushed out the house in excitement.

Stepping inside of the club, I drug them to the bar and ordered shots of Hennessy. “Lets get fucked up!” I asked the bartender for another round of shots and after downed them, we went to the dance floor. “Girl dont look now, but I think I see Kaiden.” My head snapped in the direction Loryn was looking in so fast. Now why would this bitch even tell me not to look?

Kaiden and I made eye contact and he gave me a good overlook. When he noticed how I was dressing he got up from the table, whispered something in his brothers ear, who I just noticed was here, and made his way to me. “Wassup ladies?” He greeted my sisters. “You single now or sumn?” I was beyond confused.

“I mean you dressed like you aint got no man so you must be.” I didnt see anything wrong with my outfit. I thought I looked good as fuck. “Fuck wrong witchu Londyn?” I jerked my head back. “Hey to you too, yeah my exams went well today.” I fired off sarcastically. His face softened. “Damn I forgot you had to take ya exams this week.” This nigga here.

“I already know ya smart ass passed that shit so congrats princess.” He lent down pressed his lips to mines. His hands made their way to my ass. “Lets go to the bathroom real quick.” I pushed him back a little and shook my head. “Pause. What are you doing here anyway?” I placed my hands on my hips only for Kaiden to slap them down.

“Working.” He responded nonchalantly shrugging. “With your brother here?” I could already see him catching an attitude. “We goin’ to the bathroom or what?” I rolled my eyes. “No nigga. Buy me a drink.” He pulled his pants up a little and grabbed onto my hips. Walking back to the bar I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Lolani and Karter was looking mighty comfortable, enjoying each others company and shit.

“You tryna be a love doctor I see.” I slid into the small space between him and the bar. I looked up at him as he ordered two Hennessy straights. “Whatchu talkin’ bout?” I gave him my best nigga please face. “Your brother and Lolani?”

Kaiden searched around for them then suddenly stopped. “Girl mind yo business. And for two, I aint even know yall was gon’ be here.” My sister is my business. “That girl is grown believe it or not,” he handed me my drink and I gladly took a sip, “she gon’ do what she wanna do regardless. She probably aint even gon’ give his ass a chance.”

“Why you think that?” He opened his mouth but closed it back shrugging. “Just a guess.” Mhm, you think you slick nigga. Ima just leave it alone until shes ready to tell me about Karter. Downing the rest of our drinks Kaiden wrapped his arms around my waist, swaying our bodies to the music. “I've been missing you like crazy.” He left trails of soft kisses on my neck. “Shit. I cant tell.” I fussed. “I haven't seen you this whole week.”

I poked my bottom lip out. I was really missing my man and only wanted to be under him while studying. “My fault baby. Ive been busy wit work and everythang. Niggas short on money nshit like that.” He sighed looking down at me. I applaud Kaiden for being about his money, I just wished he went about it another way. “You got all my attention.” We were in our own little world. Not giving a damn who seen us slobbering each other down at the bar.

L E I L A N I

Seems like I was the only bitch single out here and the dj had some nerve. Playing slow jams all night. Loryn, who was holding the keys in her purse, handed them over to me about an hour ago. This hoe was ditching us again for Ace. Said he had “plans” for them. Lolani and Londyn were in their own little worlds so I made me way outside and to the jeep.

“Where you been hiding at lil mama?” I knew that voice like the back of my hand. “I been here, just staying lowkey.” I could feel him burning a whole through the back of my head. “Oh yeeeeah, staying lowkey after you killed my child huh?” In a swift second I was facing him.

“Dont,” I held my hand up. “we would've ruined that kid and you know it. You was running around fucking mad hoes.” Jamal took a step towards me and I held my breath. “You aint so innocent LeiLei.” I loved when he called me that. “I never crossed you! Anything I did, was done after you. I know you think I was wrong for killing the baby but I did what was best for us.” I refused to cry. I did enough crying after I aborted my child.

That was something I had to do on my own; without my sisters. Without their comfort. My family was against abortion but I couldn't bring that child into this world knowing I couldn't raise it. “Are you happy without me?” Truth be told I couldn't answer that. “Ive changed LeiLei. And I know Ive said that many time but I mean it this time. Let me show you.” Jamal was never the type to beg.

I met him in middle school and from then we had this love hate relationship. But when it came time for high school we hooked up, and boy we were fucking like rabbits. Everyone thought we were dating so played along not knowing that it would end up serious. The same day I found out about being pregnant was the same day his fuck buddy came to me. Also the same day Jamal got arrested, for damn near killing her.

She wanted to be bold and let him know what she had done, and that was the reaction he gave her in return. “Lei?” He now had his hands on my waist. I missed his touch. I quickly backed up and handed him my phone. “Put your number in and I’ll hit you up. I gotta smoke on this shit.” Without hesitation he put his number in.

When I got my phone back I proceeded on my way. My leg felt like jelly and I was too geeked when I found the truck. I got in the backseat and immediately went for the weed and woods. I cant believe this nigga just popped his ass up on me. How? Why? After all this time you decided to just show up? Now? He just gotta be shitting me man.

It only took me five minuted to roll up and I sparked it with quickness after I was done. I sat in nothing but silence and a cloud full of smoke. Mama would kill me if she knew about me smoking in here but shit, oh well.

Lolani almost made me shit bricks when she knocked on the window. I unlocked the door and opened it. “Why you just aint use ya phone stupid?” I scolded. She shrug ans slid in beside me. “Why you aint getting lit?” I lifted the wood. “I am.” After snatching it from me she questioned,”I mean in there Lei.” She bent down to unzip her heels.

“Yall bitches left me and went after some dick. Loryn is with Ace, Londyn in there swallowing Kaiden tongue and you,” I looked over at her “well shit you here now.” She hit the wood a couple of times before passing it back to me. “Karter wont really bout shit ya know? It was like a one way conversation if you asked me.”

“You could've fooled me.” Smoke got caught in my throat and coughed hard as hell. “You sound like a man.” “Fuck you. But anyways you do know thats gonna be your brother in law?” I took another hit and passed it to her. “Kaiden and Londyn really fucking with each other. So I think you should just let that go sus.” I only wanted the best for my twin.

“Omari has a baby on the way.” “I just seen Jamal.” We blurted at the same time. Lolani quickly put the wood out and turned her body towards me. “Where has he been?” “Your guess is as good as mine. He just popped the fuck up. Scared a bitch too.” Be both shared a laugh. “Nah but listen, he went to jail for beating up a bitch he was cheating with and now he says that he changed. I missed him. A lot.”

I felt like venting so thats what I did. “It was like, during our relationship my whole world revolved around him. I did everything I could for him and it still wasn't enough. He just had to dip into something new.” I picked at my nails. “I ended up getting pregnant but aborted it.” A single tear fell from my eye. “Lei,”

“I never wanted to do it Lolani. I swear! I still think about how fucked up I was for killing an innocent child, but..” Lolani slid close to me and hugged me tight. “Who am I to judge Lei? Im your sister and Im far from innocent.” She kissed my forehead and sighed. “Fuck Jamal. You dont need him. Shit we dont need these niggas girl. You can always find someone better who will literally worship the ground you walk on. Trust me, I know.”

She continued comforting me until our phones chimed. It was Londyn letting us know that she was going on home with Kaiden. “Andrews?” Without saying a word we both jumped in the front. Might as well eat before we head home. “You better air this shit out.” Lolani reminded me.

#dave east #dave east ff #dave east fanfic #trey songz #trey songz ff #trey songz fanfic #beauty_newnew #lauren london #lauren london ff #lauren london fanfic #deja hiott #dyme taylor #lala anthony

64 notes · View notes

summerrrluvvv · 4 years

Text

Chapter 2

Music featured in this chapter:

Bitch from da south (remix) by Mulatto ft Saweetie and Trina

Bartier Cardi by Cardi B

Wild Thoughts by DJ Khaled

No Guidance by Chris Brown ft Drake

Hot Girl Summer by Meg Thee Stallion ft Nicki Minaj and Ty Dolla$

Confidence by Chris Brown

Day 1 of Miami Trip:

The girls all meet up at Tye’s house and get a lyft to go to the Airport. The girls took shots before they got on the plane, so everybody was lit. When they arrived in Miami, they picked up the rental cars. 2 Jeeps. Melody felt like they should ride around bad girls’ style. After they left with the rentals they finally pulled up to their Airbnb. It had 6 bedrooms and 5 baths. Each girl had they own room and bathroom. They had a huge pool and sauna in the back yard. The girls explored the house and went swimming then each got ready for the night. They were going to Cameo Night Club, Tye got a text from Samar letting her know he was doing amateur night there and could get them in free.

Zion:

“Ayeeee, fuck it up sis!” My girls yelled as I was twerking, holding on to the stripper pole we had in our party bus. Samar hooked us up with connections in Miami, so we had rental cars to cruise with his friend drove the party bus. We had so much liquor on this bus, we were going to be fucked up tonight. “I’m real as rich ass bitch from the south” I sang to Mulatto “Bitch From Da Souf (remix)”. “Aight ladies we here” P-Wall said. Tye handed him a $20 dollar bill. “Thanks P!” She yelled as we got of the bus. We showed our wrist bands to the bouncer and he brought us to a section near V.I.P. “Tye Samar really hooked us up!” Ariana said taking some more shots. Tye smiled and nodded. “I know right, speaking of I’m going to go say hey to him up in the booth really quick, yall get us a pitcher or something” She said before leaving. “Please me baby turn around and just tease me baby, you know what I want and what I need baby” I heard start playing. Melody and Ariana wear dancing on the couch we had in our section. I took a shot. “Ari! Mel! I am going to go get us a pitcher sent up here. I’ll be back”. I told them as I walked out of our section. I went downstairs to the bar. I danced my way through the crowd feeling the liquor in my system. I got up to the bar and just waited for a bartender to acknowledge me, the club was packed so I just looked on IG. “Beautiful can I help you!?” I heard someone yell over the music. I looked up and it was this fine ass nigga. I smirked at him this was about to be interesting cause I was Lit. “Yes, how can I get us a pitcher sent up to my section?!” I asked looking him up and down. He looked at me in a mesmerizing way. I waved my hand in his face. “Hello?” I said. He smiled at me. “What drink yall want, Ill bring it up” He said. I smiled, and blushed. “Mmm a Blue Motherfucker!” I said before turning around, I felt him gently grab my arm. “But first you got to chill with me down here. My shift gets boring after while and it would be nice if for a minute you kept me company” He said. I tried to hide my smile. “Okay cool. My name is Zion by the way” I said extending my hand. He shook my hand and smiled that fine ass smile. “Kyrel, you from here?” He asked. I shook my head. “Nah just on Vacation” I said. He nodded as he looked and seen someone calling for a bartender, he held his hand up to give me one minute. I danced in my seat to “Bartier Cardi” played by Cardi B. I looked up at my girls in the section. They were drunk as fuck talking to niggas in the section next to ours. Kyrel came back and we talked for what seemed like 30 minutes. “Afterwards I’m going to waffle house if you want to join me, no funny play no trying you I promise, and I will make sure you get home” He said to me. I hesitated but then I nodded. “Okay”.

Tye:

I sipped my 4th drink of henny and coke as I danced near the booth where Samar was DJing. I was lit not too drunk but I was up through there. “Aye Mami you want to dance?” I heard in my ear. It was some fine ass Cuban man. I nodded my head. He brought me to dance floor and was feeling all on me as we danced to “Wild Thoughts” By DJ Khaled. “What’s your name?” He asked. I turned to him “Tye” I simply said. “Ahh I like that, my name is Julian” He told me. “You on vacation?” He asked. I nodded. He turned me back around towards. “Maybe we should link, while you’re in my city” I smirked at him. “Okay. That’s a deal” I told him. I looked over towards the DJ booth and seen some bitches up in his section. I was already drinking so I was annoyed. “What’s your number?” I asked. He pulled out his phone and we exchanged numbers. “Ima be right back” I told him. He smirked and nodded at me. I went over to the booth. “Samar!” I yelled over the music. He was not paying me no mind. “Samar!” I yelled again. He looked over at me. “What’s up?” He said. I placed my hand on my hip mugging them bitches probably talking shit about me. “You supposed to be at work nigga, why you kee kee with them bitches?” I asked. He laughed. “Yo Tye chill go back over there with that little lame ass nigga and dance stop sweating me” He said smiling, shaking his head. “We homies, stay off the liq”. I rolled my eyes at him and walked back over to Julian. I needed some serious attention before I flipped the club over. “You good Mami?”. Julian asked. I smiled “Yes now what were we talking about?”.

Ariana:

“I don’t want to want to play no games, play no games fuck around and give you my last name I know you tired of the same damn thing, that’s okay cause baby you got it girl” Mel and I sang drunk as fuck. Zion was at the bar talking to some fine ass nigga and Tye was on the dance floor. “That’s my best friend right there!” I yelled as Melody was giving this random guy a lap dance. “Hey, come here” Some regular ass nigga said to me. He grabbed my waist and I started grinding on him. I feel my phone buzzing multiple times. I get up from the guy and look at my phone. It was Marlon blowing me up, leaving me crazy ass I miss you messages. I wobbled my drunk ass to the bathroom, with Melody right behind me. “What’s going on Ari?” She asked. I started whining cause my ass was drunk and no tears were coming out. “Fucking Marlon leaving me crazy ass messages and shit sending me dick pics” I told her. “Eww give me the phone, we going to block his stank ass” She said. She grabbed my phone, and then handed it back. “Done now let’s get some more liquor” She said laughing. “Bitch I’m drunk as fuck right now” I said staring at myself in the mirror. In walked these stank face looking ass girls. One had on a snakeskin jumpsuit and the other had on a neon pink two piece. I mugged the fuck out of them. “Is there a problem honey?” Snakeskin said. Melody turned around quick. “Excuse you?” She said. “Bitch I said is there a problem with you and you little ass friend posted up in here like you trying to fight or something?” The girl in the neon said. I was on one, so I was with whatever bullshit they was on. “We just up in here like you” Melody said. Tye busted in the bathroom and read the room and immediately posted up. “We got a problem?” They looked at all three of us. “No, we straight” Snakeskin said. We all walked out of the bathroom. “Ariana what the fuck was that?” Tye asked. Melody sucked her teeth in. “Them bitches been mugging all damn night that’s what fuck them hoes” She said. “Why yall even in the bathroom posted?” She asked. I handed her my phone. “Oh, this nigga is wildin, fuck him” Tye said. I nodded. “Mel blocked his ass anyways” I told her. “Ari just hop on some new dick stop stressing about the dumb ass nigga” Mel said. Now where the hell I’m find another fine ass nigga in Miami?” I asked. “Oh, nah let me go back on the dance floor this bitch acting like she not in Seaquarium full of fine ass men”. Tye said strutting to the dance floor. Mel and I followed behind her. “Hey yall” We seen Zion. “Bitch we ain’t seen you all fucking night” Tye said. “Sorry I met some dude, I’m bout to leave with him really quick I will meet yall back at the house” She said. Mel shook her head. “Nah see cause I seen Crime Watch Daily” She said. Zion laughed. “Girl trust me I’m good” She said. Mel shook her head still. “If you end up on the news, I’m going to say I told you so” She said. “Girl bye go have fun” Tye said.

Melody:

“I can't read your mind, gotta say that shit, Should I take your love? Should I take that dick? Got a whole lot of options 'cause you know a bitch poppin' I'm a hot girl, so you know ain't shit stopping” Hot girl summer was playing. Ari, Tye and I was drunk as hell damn near bout to be on the floor. The club was still packed, and it was 2:30 am, in Atlanta clubs be dying down by then. “Real ass nigga gives a fuck 'bout a bitch. It is what it is, this some five-star dick, she a big ol' freak, it's a must that I hit. It's a Hot Girl Summer, so you know she got it lit Real ass bitch, know she got it lit” I sang dancing on the stripper pole they had near the DJ booth. “Aye yo baby?” I heard. I looked down and seen a crusty nigga drooling at me. “Bye sirrrr Byeee” I said drunk. “Can we talk? Can I get your number baby?” He asked. “Nah my nigga crazy and he got his friend in here as disguises to blend to watch who try to talk to me and I’m warning you niggas be going missing after I talk to them they end up on the news” I said smiling still twerking ass out and all. He started throwing money and feeling on my ass. Ari and Tye were not paying attention. “I’m take yo money cause you shouldn’t have been throwing at me in the first place so if you give me $100, I will give you my number on the low and give you my panties” I said jokingly. His face lit up this damn ass crusty ass bum ass nigga handed me two $50 bills. I looked out into the club scared. “You should probably go now, you been spotted” I told him. He laughed at me. “Quit playing baby” He said. Security winking at me walked over towards us. The crusty nigga jumped at his voice. “We have a problem here?” Security asked. “No No sir” He said scared. He tried to grab his money he through. “Uh uh this my money now honey” I said laughing as I danced seductively to Chris Brown’s “Confidence”. “Fifty Shades, ooh Tie your hands properly, I'm loving it. It's your confidence, oh woah Your confidence” The song played. I swung around the pole and closed my eyes. “Please don't tell nobody 'bout this affair. Baby, go and dutty whine it out, thank you, baby. We might not make it to the room, from right here I love it when you tell me what to do, like sit right there. Yeah, I need that” I opened my eyes, and almost fell off the pole. “Isaac” I said to myself. I looked up in V.I.P, to see if I was tripping. I was lit but I know I ain’t hallucinating. We locked eyes, he got up from his seat. I could see he was with his home boys, Trey and Freddie. “Oh nah, we got to go” I said, as security helped me down. “Ari! Tye!” I yelled through the crowd of girls. I accidently bumped into the bathroom bitches, and shit went down. I do not know who it was, but somebody pushed the fuck out of me into Ari. “The fuck?” Ari said looking from me to the bathroom bitches. “She pushed you?” Tye asked. I nodded. “Yes, that bitch did” I said. They walked up on us, and Ari as usual threw the first punch and we followed. “Fight!” Somebody yelled. I could feel somebody pry my hands-off Neon bitch and pick me up and take me out of the crowd. I seen it was security. “Thanks homie” I heard. I seen it was Isaac. I felt my stomach churning. “Fuck” I ran out of the club and onto the curb to throw up. Soon after I seen Ari and Tye get nicely put out by security. “Sorry beautiful but no fighting” He said to Tye. “Fuck them hoes” Tye said. “Get yall hands off me!” We looked and seen security toss them bitches out. Ari laughed at how fucked up they looked. “Bitch don’t let me see yo ass out in these streets” Snakeskin said. “Or what sis? You gone get jumped again dumb ass” Ari said. Tye started laughing so hard. “We just had free shit all night start a fight and get kicked out of nice club, we going to have sooo much fun here” She said leaning on me.

Supporting Characters:

Julian: (Malik Bomaniallah)

0 notes