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#dating advice
xiaq · 2 months ago
Just spent over an hour on the phone with a nearly incoherent drunk teenager who moved halfway across the US to follow her boyfriend to college only to find out that he's been cheating on her since the first week of the semester. She found out because he broke up with her so he could be with the other girl. She thought they were going to get married and live happily ever after and now her whole world (justifiably) feels like it's ending. This is a friendly reminder to think long and hard about following a significant other to college if you don't actually want to attend that college yourself. I've seen this happen way too many times and everyone thinks that their sacrifice will be worth it long term and that they're going to beat the odds and I literally do not know a single person who that's actually worked out for. The only high school sweethearts I know who are still together are my parents (they got married at 18. My dad didn't go to college, but supported my mom through engineering school while pursuing his own career) and a couple who went to different colleges in different states and maintained a long-distance relationship for 3 years before moving to the same city and getting married a year later.
For my teenage followers: Please be selfish with your college choice (and maybe think long and hard about whether you even need to go to college, but that's a different soapbox). It's ok to put yourself first, here. Love does not require martyrdom. Someone who truly loves you and wants the best for you is not going to demand that you put aside your plans/dreams so you'll be easily accessible to them.
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missmentelle · a year ago
I’m going to tell you a secret that I wish someone had told me a long, long time ago: If you’ve been in nothing but toxic and unhealthy relationships for most of your life, your first healthy relationship is probably going to feel boring. 
I spent the majority of my teenage years and early 20s in a series of unhealthy relationships. My relationships were all unhealthy in very different ways, but there was one thing they had in common: they were unpredictable, and in a perverse way, that made them addicting. There’s something weirdly thrilling about a relationship that is off-the-charts intense all of the time, even if it’s often a bad intense. My stomach used to drop like I’d just gone down the first hill of a roller coaster every time I opened the door to the apartment I used to share with my ex, because I never knew what I was going to find inside. Maybe he’d be on the couch, writing a song about me with that big smile on his face. Maybe he’d be half-coherent and the entire apartment would be trashed, with all the shades drawn. Maybe he’d be gone altogether with absolutely no explanation, and no way of getting in touch with him. There’s a sick thrill to waking up every morning and not knowing if your day is going to end with an impromptu romantic 2 am adventure that involves kissing under the stars, or if you’re going to go to bed in tears because you just got screamed at in a dumb fight over paper towels. Maybe it’s both. 
Often, it was both.
And after a while, when someone makes your heart pound every time you see them, your brain stops trying to learn the difference between attraction and fear. 
Then in my final year of my master’s degree, I swiped right on the right person and got into the first healthy relationship I had ever been in. My new relationship was everything I could have dared to hope for, back in the days when I was begging my ex to tell me where he was because he hadn’t been home in four days, or getting woken up at four a.m. because he’d found a man’s name when he went through my phone while I was sleeping and didn’t believe it was my brother. My new partner is, at a very fundamental level, an incredibly gentle and thoughtful person. Regular “good morning” and “good night” texts became a regular staple of my day, instead of passive-aggressive jabs and so-called “silent treatments”. Encouragement was given freely, without any accusations that I was seeking attention or trying to out-do him. Birthdays and important dates were remembered without any reminders. Hugs were given out in generous quantities, small issues were laughed off instead of fought over, and male friends were encouraged instead of demonized. At long last, I had the relationship I had always wanted. 
And to my absolute horror, I realized I was bored.
Without even realizing it, I had trained myself to think of relationships as battles, and being in a healthy relationship for the first time felt like I had suited myself up for an epic war, only to end up in an old ladies’ pottery class. The lack of unhealthy behaviours started making me antsy. Why wasn’t he going through my phone and looking through my social media? Did he just not care? Did it just not matter to him that other guys might be speaking to me? Why was I feeling so calm all the time? Where was the adrenaline rush? Why weren’t we clashing more? Did it mean that we just weren’t invested enough to even bother to fight with each other? We were - and are - deeply compatible people who have a lot of fun with each other, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that the relationship just wasn’t intense enough. I absolutely knew that my past relationships were deeply unhealthy, but it’s hard to un-learn the idea that relationships should be high-stakes and constantly exhausting if both people truly care about each other. 
It took a lot of time, but I gradually come to realize something: I’d never actually known love in any of my previous relationships. What I had known was obsession. My exes had put me up on pedestals, and ripped me down as soon as I failed to live up to impossible expectations. Over and over again. Everything was big and over-the-top: life was a series of grand gestures, big fights and enormous apologies. I had one ex comb through years and years of my social media photos, commenting on every single one, while another ex would make the hour-long drive to my house in the middle of the night several times per week, whenever he felt like seeing me, letting himself in through my bedroom window. When you’re young and don’t know any better, that level of obsession is flattering. It’s what we’ve been taught is romantic. But it’s not - it’s not a good basis for a strong and healthy relationship. And in the end, none of it was really about me. My exes were caught up in ideas about the relationships they’d fantasized about having, and the way they wanted people to perceive them, and I was more or less just there to play a part. And it always came crashing down. 
Real love, on the other hand, is not about the grand gesture. It’s not about non-stop “dialed-up-to-11″ intensity. It’s about being there, day by day. My boyfriend has never gone through my social media for six straight hours or broken into my house because he couldn’t wait a moment longer to see me, and he’s never screamed at me for having male names in my contacts list or for not texting back fast enough because he’s just so afraid to lose me. Instead, he is patient. He is kind. He listens to what I have to say and he doesn’t get upset about the small things and he always remembers to make  my coffee exactly how I like it. I know that he will be there for me when I need him - whether I need to vent about a bad day at work or build a bookcase or double-check that I added enough salt to the soup - and I do the same for him. It’s a kinder, gentler kind of relationship, and now that I’m used to it, it’s anything but boring. 
Don’t get me wrong - sometimes a relationship can be healthy and not be right for you. If you don’t have anything in common and you don’t enjoy doing things together, that’s probably not the relationship for you. It’s important to have fun with your partner and enjoy their company. But it’s also important not to mistake obsession for romance, or mistake a lack of intensity for disinterest. 
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toront0e · a month ago
If you’re dating right now, remember this:
(I saw this as a slideshow on naturalhairlovez’s Instagram and just had to share)
1. Worry less about if they like you, and more about if you like them;
2. Rejection is not as personal as it feels. Whether or not you connect with someone is more about compatibility than inherent worth;
3. Stop choosing people who aren’t choosing you. If it’s not mutual why pursue it?
4. Be honest with yourself. Would you be friends with this person if you weren’t physically attracted to them?
5. Notice patterns and believe them.
6. You don’t need to be perfect to be loved. Perfection isn’t relateable;
7. Your love life is one area of your life, don’t forget about friends and hobbies that make up the rest of it.
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sweet-lil-darling · a month ago
A man is not worth holding onto if he doesn't prioritize you.
A man is not worth holding onto if he doesn't communicate with you.
A man is not worth holding onto if he doesn't bring you peace.
Your energy is sacred. Don't hold onto something that isn't holding onto you.
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starryeyes2000 · 21 days ago
Dating Advice: First Date
Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist
Pairing: McCoy x Reader
Rating: Teen, mild references to sex
Word Count: 1k
Summary: It's time for your first date. Jim and Spock are there to offer McCoy helpful dating advice.
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The doors to McCoy’s quarters swished open. Without turning he grumbled, “Do you ever knock?”
“Knocking is irrelevant when the doors are formed from a titanium alloy …” Spock began.
“Knock it off you walking Encyclopedia Britannica, my point wasn’t literal,” McCoy huffed.
“Then you should endeavor for more accuracy …” the Vulcan replied with a serene expression.
“Haven’t the two of you vexed me enough for one day?” McCoy interrupted again.
Jim responded with a light slap on his CMO’s back. “We’re here for moral support.” The Captain picked up the bottle of wine sitting on a nearby table and examined the label. “Nice. Personally, I’d start with a lighter choice, but I like the,” with a grin he emphasized the next three words, “I mean business sentiment.”
McCoy raised his hands and arms in the universal ‘what are you taking about’ gesture.
“I usually bring a white or rose for a first date. One that is light and fun. It communicates whimsy. A red is a bold, sultry choice. It telegraphs intimacy and confidence.”
Snatching the bottle out of Kirk’s hands McCoy replied, “Y/n prefers red, that is the only reason behind my selection.”
Jim’s sly grin returned. “Of course. I would never insinuate otherwise.”
“Captain, I disagree, I believe you just did,” Spock pointed out.
“My mama raised me right. First dates are hand holding and a chaste kiss.” McCoy added with emphasis, “That. Is. All.”
Spock nodded. “Your mother is an astute parent. Slowly, and always cultivating anticipation is sensible.” He continued, “When tutoring me in the rhythms of human courting rituals my mother counseled ‘if they get the milk on the first date why would they return to the barn?’”
“I’m the one from farm country and I never heard that one,” Jim mused.
“Also, my father’s people do not engage in kissing or touch prior to bonding. Then the three years’ build up to Pon Farr and initial intercourse begins.”
The Captain and Doctor turned in unison towards Spock.
McCoy raised an eyebrow.
Jim said, his voice hoarse, “That’s extremely limiting.” He asked in his usual tone, “What if you are not compatible … physically?”
“That is not considered of importance in a Vulcan marriage,” Spock replied. “Extensive testing ensures there are no issues with the production of healthy offspring.”
McCoy pursed his lips then quipped, “So at the end of your first date with Uhura you looked soulfully into her eyes, handed over your genome map, and said ‘pencil me in for a kiss four years from tonight.’”
“Doctor, I am half Vulcan with a differing timetable for biological urges,” Spock helpfully explained.
“Does the acronym TMI ring a bell?” McCoy shot back.
“Three years? You are celibate for three years?” Jim continued muttering.
Spock corrected. “After bonding. If not betrothed in childhood, consenting adults must wait two years before attempting a marriage bond.”
McCoy’s thumb gestured in Kirk’s direction. “That math confounds our intrepid leader.”
Shaking off disbelief Jim returned to the immediate subject, “How long Bones? How long has it been?”
“Excuse me?” McCoy replied with a scowl.
“Since you went on a date, jeez, I sleep with a couple of people here and there …” Jim started with a sweep of his arms.
Spock and McCoy exchanged knowing looks.
“… and I get a reputation,” Jim finished.
“Oh. Awhile. Who has time?” McCoy grumped. “As your CMO I get called to Medbay at all hours for treating the injuries from one of your frequent escapades.”
“I rarely …” Kirk protested.
Spock’s eyebrow shot up.
“OK. Here and there …”
McCoy glared at Jim.
Jim scuffed the tow of his boot, and his voice grew softer, “Not often but sometimes …”
McCoy harumphed, a ghost smile quickly crossed the Vulcan’s lips.
The Captain switched to his command tone of voice in an attempt at dissuading further argument. “It is the inevitable consequence of needed risk.”
“Agree to disagree … sir.” McCoy rendered the honorific in a sardonic tone. He pulled on a dark olive colored sports jacket with slightly lighter pinstripes over his crisp white cotton button down shirt. Head cocked at his friends’ curious expressions he said, “Go on. Let’s get it over with.”
“Hmmm?” Jim responded distractedly as he rubbed his chin.
“I believe the good doctor anticipates good-natured teasing regarding his not formal yet not casual attire,” Spock explained.
Hand outstretched, McCoy slowly moved his arm from shoulder to waist. “Where I come from this is a first date outfit. My mama raised a gentleman; always be and look respectful, and never show up empty handed.”
“You look good Bones.” The more common grin supplanted Kirk’s previous far away expression. “You clean up nice.”
“I concur,” Spock added in an approving tone.
Completely refocused Kirk, pretending to be serious, asked, “Alright young man, do you have pocket money?”
Spock joined in, “A communicator in case you require an escort home?”
“That’s ride home,” Jim amended. “It’s okay to wait until you are older. Don’t let Y/n pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do.”
McCoy glanced skyward and muttered, “Heavens to Betsy.”
“Or anything I wouldn’t do,” Jim added.
Spock turned to his commander. “I thought the purpose of setting boundaries was reining in undesired behavior not opening the field to the unlimited.”
“I was making a joke,” Jim pointed out. “You need to work on your sense of humor.”
Spock countered with deadpan expression. “At times sir, I think it is not my humorous capacity in question but rather the lack of comedy in your statement.”
“Now that is funny,” McCoy said between chuckles.
“At times Spock, it feels like we have been married for years,” Jim retorted.
“I believe all that remains Doctor is a reminder for you to be home by midnight,” Spock said.
Jim nodded. “Yes, we will be waiting up. Right here. Drinking your good stuff.”
Mumbling an uncomplimentary response McCoy left his quarters.
Your eyes swept the room for a final check that all was in readiness before answering the door chime. When the doors swished open, you smile appreciatively at Len. Out of medical blues, he looks taller and more handsome, the green in his hazel eyes accentuated by the color of his jacket.
“Hey,” he says. His boyish smile is understated and charming.
“Hey,” you answer.
“Am I late?”
“Your timing is perfect.”
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hypergamiss · a year ago
If he wanted to, he would.
A good man will not have you guessing where you two stand.
A good man will make time for you regardless of all the hardships going on in his life.
A good man will tell you that your happiness matters to him.
A good man will cherish and respect you.
A good man will always address any issues between the two of you properly.
A good man will protect and provide for you.
A good man will always DO things to make you feel secure.
I’m sure there is more characteristics to good men, but these are the best ones I could think of. When I compare men to each other on how they’ve courted me, I can tell who is really trying and who isn’t. A recent dusty I dealt with challenged my standards by asking me to be in a situationship and I declined. Right after I declined, his efforts went from constant communication to none so he was cancelled. The next man after him has done everything in his power to make me feel more than wanted. He’s taken me out to dinners and he talks to me everyday. He’s always asking how I’m doing or if I need anything. He buys me flowers and gives me gifts. We recently took a road trip to Beverly Hills and he let me drive his Ferrari around rodeo drive and the city to discover new things to do. The next date he gave me my own set of keys for his mansion, security gates, and spares for a couple of his cars. I thought that was a nice but some what exaggerated gesture. I’ve only been dating him for a couple of weeks and he knows I don’t plan on coming over anytime soon and he doesn’t expect sex from me either. I’ve been friends with him for over a year and finally gave him a chance so he’s very familiar with my standards and boundaries. He said he gave me the keys in case I ever needed somewhere safe to go or if I ever needed/wanted to use one of his vehicles. Do you see the lengths men will go to make you feel SECURE? Like I said before I don’t plan on going to his home for maybe even months, but his ACTIONS tell me that he’s doing everything in his power to show me that he’s serious. If a man ever has you guessing or waiting around for the same effort that you are putting in, he’s just not that into you. Leave the situation and only give your time to someone who will value it. What one man won’t do, another will.
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owlmylove · 6 months ago
Just had the very distressing thought that if I ever want to have a girlfriend I'm gonna have to TALK to a girl?!?!??!?!?!?
I'd have to talk to a girl that I LIKE and HAVE A CRUSH ON?!?!? Impossible! Please help a distressed lesbian if you have any advice
okay so: in my personal experience 90% of all lesbian flirting is eyeing up fellow women to discreetly try to determine if they, too, are wlw. then you compliment each others button downs and never speak to each other again
BUT if you would like to painstakingly attempt to challenge the starfish fallacy then read on for my comprehensive guide on flirting w/ women! (credentials: i have accidentally flirted with So Many Women oh my god)
first up: start with the art of compliments! if you're too shy to tell a girl they're gorg out of nowhere, then focus on their clothing, their haircuts, their cool shoes, the patches on their denim jackets, etc. opening a convo with a compliment is one of the easiest shortcuts, as it neatly prevents you from having to come up w/ a witty rejoinder right off the bat (save those for later)
physical proximity makes it easy to do this to someone standing or sitting next to you. if, however, they're on the other side of the room/otherwise engaged, it gets trickier. if ur confident enough to walk up to a girl in a coffeeshop + compliment her, GO FOR IT. but if you're too anxious to just coldcall her, approach with a question.
you can warp the compliment to fit the question, i.e. "Hey! Sorry to interrupt [your reading], but your book looks super interesting/I've seen it around & am debating whether to buy it. Would you recommend it?" or, re: outfits/haircuts "Hey! Your ____ is super cute, can I ask where you got it [done]?" if they're a classmate/coworker, you can make it even less direct: "Hey! Do you know when we're scheduled to do ____?" (<- this one comes w/ the perk of, pending her response, immediately asking for her # to swap shifts or trade notes, which can quickly allow for inviting her to a study group/after work drinks with coworkers. speedrun!!)
once Conversation is Initiated, maintain eye contact, listen attentively to their replies, and keep smiling/smizing. if they're reticent, follow up with more questions unless you're getting fuck off vibes ("I'm trying to get more into reading lately, would you have any other reccs?" or, "I haven't found a hairstylist yet since I moved here from _____, are there any other local spots you'd recommend?")
BUT if they're returning eye contact, smiling, and keeping open body language towards you, make it a full-on convo! offer some personal details in return, don't be afraid to make (non-risky!!!!) jokes, and (if you can control when & where you're moving, i.e. not during a job or class) have a built-in exit.
even if convos are going good, it's polite (+ leaves them wanting more via scarcity principle, etc. etc.) to end a brief first-time convo after a few minutes, ideally before the energy winds down & you're left feeling awkward. "it's been so lovely meeting you! [insert name here], right? I've got to get going, but thanks for the ___!" if you wanna play the long game/are in a coffeeshop/aren't confident enough yet (no shame!) ask if she comes here regularly and say you hope to see her around sometime soon.
if you've managed to get a good enough energy going: ask if she has an insta/social media you could get for _____ purpose, i.e. letting her know if you like the book/music/media she recc'd or asking for more local spots. IF, however, you don't wanna put yourself at the whim of her generosity: give yourself a cheat code during the initial conversation.
namely; reference something you'd recommend, think she'd find funny, or can't believe she hasn't seen yet, etc. etc. then, at the end of the convo, you can naturally offer "Oh! Lemme send you that X I mentioned--do you have an insta/social?" et voila. asking for social is always less awk/direct than asking for phone numbers, AND it lets the flirtee decide whether she wants to offer that level of trust just yet
if you're not coldcall flirting a girl in public, but rather have an object of your affections at work or school: this formula works p. much the same, but on a slower scale (if you don't use my speedrun ofc) start building a rapport via compliments/questions, progress to chatting briefly whenever you see each other, and third step: say "I saw something yesterday that totally reminded me of you/I just have to send to you!! Here-do I have your insta yet?"
once you have someone's insta: continue chatting when you see them irl/replying to their stories over social, and see if you can pay close enough attention to what she likes to do. judging by the number of accidental lesbian dates i've been on, it's probably
art museum
botanical gardens, or
burlesque shows
however, hikes, used bookstores, underground shows, and grocery shopping together for a subsequent picnic also feature prominently. invite her to do whatever activity you think you'd both enjoy most (over social or irl, whichever you're comfortable with [tho irl gives you a better judge of facial expressions/body language]) and boom. if she says yes, shoot back "it's a date!" after setting the day/time, bc if she's anywhere near as clueless as i am (i'm so sorry wlw) they may honestly think you're still just friends.
if, over the course of your irl convos or DMs, you have the chance to casually mention your sexuality (patches, pride is coming up, mention "my teenage crush/my ex-girlfriend") and ask for hers, go for it. if you can be direct: ask directly. it will save you time, trouble, and mild heartbreak. but if you suffer from the conflict avoidance that plagues lo so many of us: just lean into the subtext.
offer your celebrity crushes and ask what hers are. mention an ex (BRIEFLY, in connection to another topic entirely [she recc'd this cool band to me!] and always in a positive context). wear birkenstocks or docs and say Portrait of a Lady on Fire is the best film of all time, say you listen to girl in red or w/e those charming youths do. just lay the foundation in barely-subtext and keep an eye on her responses, while accepting the risk of wooing what may or may not be a fellow wlw
once you are, in point of fact, ON the date: standard rules and rates apply. relax! be urself!! enjoy spending time with a cool person, regardless of what may or may not come of it!!!! if she seems into it lean into physical proximity, do the whole Tarzan hand-comparison wlw are addicted to, offer to feed her bites of food or swap sips of each other's drinks, and casually set intentions for future plans ("I've never heard of X cafe--we'll have to do that next time!" or, the infamous buy-her-smth-secretly and then offer "You can get mine next time c:")
again, the most important thing is to be sincere. it's good not to place too many expectations on the other person, but don't force yourself to be overly "chill" if you are not, in point of fact, a chill person. dating is always a process of getting to know one another, and it's important to be polite but pls don't feel like you have to follow a script or be someone you're not. just be you babe: you're already plenty lovable. godspeed + good luck!!<33
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xiaq · 7 days ago
Any fun date night ideas?
Take your paramour to a bookstore.
Say: "Darling, pick whatever you'd like. Then we'll go home and read together by the fireplace and forget the horrors of the world for a few hours."
Subsequently, purchase whatever book(s) your paramour has selected and go home and read together by the fireplace and forget the horrors of the world for a few hours.
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iam-chief-beifong · 8 months ago
Korra: Hey, Lin can I get some dating advise?
Lin: Just because I'm with kya, doesn't mean I know how I did it.
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midwesternsugarbaby · 8 months ago
Just Dump Him
In my vanilla life, I get lots of girls asking me for relationship advice. I make it clear to them that I don't vanilla date, only sugar. They still want advice. I have found that 9 times out of 10, my advice is to dump him. Men in their twenties ain't shit. If they don't respond to texts, if they honk for you to come outside when they pick you up, if they pressure you into (mediocre) sex: dump him. You don't need a man, and you are so much better than that.
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ofparadoxalmind · 6 months ago
Don’t tell men your dreams if they can’t invest in them.
I repeat
Some men are hating ass bitches- just with a dick. Some men will hear how ambitious you are and want to humble you because it highlights their own inability to provide for you.
Then there are other men who will hear your dreams and light up because they believe in you. There are some men who’s first response will be “wow that’s amazing, how can I help?”
I think this should be general practice bc not everyone needs to know your aspirations. Develop discernment to spot the people who will unconditionally root for you out of love, not the people who just want to be around to reap the benefits of your hard work
Stay woke y’all!
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starryeyes2000 · 28 days ago
Dating Advice: Go On, Ask
Next Part | Masterlist
Pairing: McCoy x Reader
Rating: Teen, mild references to sex
Word Count: 800
Summary: McCoy wants to ask you out. Feeling unsure he keeps hesitating. Jim and Spock are there to offer helpful dating advice.
“May I join you Doctor?” Spock inquired.
McCoy closed his eyes.
“Pretending I am a pointy-eared menace will not hasten my departure unlike your imagined childhood closet demons,” Spock added in his regular monotone.
McCoy opened one eye. “That was almost funny.”
“I would express gratitude; however, I believe your remark is not a compliment.”
McCoy opened his other eye. He sipped from the coffee cup he’d been nursing for the past hour. “Again, almost funny.”
“I endeavor to entertain,” Spock gestured with his tray, “May I?”
“When has a refusal every stopped you?” was the cranky reply.
“I see your usual temperament is present. And body language clearly indicates company is desired despite your typical dance of refusing before acquiescence and then appreciation.”
“Dance?” McCoy echoed with curiosity. He thought, Damn that elfin goblin hooks me every time!
As he settled into the opposite chair at the mess hall table and arranged his breakfast dishes in precise order Spock replied, “The curmudgeon choreography you wear as a mask. Which is securely in place this morning.” Spock examined the room. “As Y/n is present, I conclude you are engaged in your morning secret pursuit?”
“I don’t stalk …” McCoy started. Damn he gets me every time.
“No, yet you consistently and conveniently arrange to be here during Y/n’s meal breaks Doctor. In the past 10 days your paths here have coincided 28.746 times.”
McCoy raised an eyebrow. “Is this ‘practice words that start with C day’ and I missed the memo?”
“Doctor, distraction is a child’s ploy.”
“28.746 times? How can a meal be less than one?”
“Twice you were called to Sickbay during dinner,” Spock patiently explained.
“I’m just a busy physician looking for peace and trying to have a little breakfast.”
“You ordered a replicated meal 3.35 hours ago, making this?”
McCoy huffed. “Elevenses.”
“Very well, I shall indulge your fiction.”
“You are unusually loquacious and emotive this morning,” McCoy noted.
Jim joined the table and nodded in their direction. “Bones, Spock.”
“My night proved satisfactory,” Spock answered McCoy’s earlier observation.
“Wait, did I miss something?” Jim examined his first officer and whistled softly. “You sly devil, you sweet talked Uhura didn’t you?”
“We came to a mutual understanding,” Spock paused, “multiple times.”
Jim grinned like the proverbial grinch and lightly punched Spock’s shoulder. “Your delivery timing is improving as well.”
Spock’s face remained impassive. “In multiple ways, Captain.”
McCoy rolled his eyes.
Jim’s grin widened. “Well done.” He tilted his head in Y/n’s direction. “Go on Bones, stopping wandering around like a love-sick puppy and ask already.”
“If I were interested in Y/n …” McCoy began emphasizing his first word.
Spock and Jim exchanged a knowing glance. Jim spoke for them both, “No one believes that line anymore Bones.”
McCoy continued, ignoring his friends, “I would be waiting for the right moment, the best moment.”
Jim waggled a finger at his CMO. “That’s your problem. You don’t wait for the moment; you make the moment. Take my advice. Walk over and tell Y/n that you want to …”
“I’m unlikely to take dating tips from the man whose idea of a long-term relationship is staying through breakfast,” McCoy interrupted in a dry tone of voice.
Shrugging Jim replied, “Your loss.” He rubbed his chin. “Though I must admit I am in the middle of a rather long dry spell at the moment.”
“No one since the weekend?” McCoy asked sarcastically.
“Perhaps I can be of assistance,” Spock interjected.
“You?” McCoy asked with a skeptical look. “You?”
“I am, after all, the only one who did not sleep alone last night,” Spock answered.
Jim added, “I hate it when he’s right.”
“Apply logic,” Spock counseled. “Approach Y/n and list your favorable qualities, those looked for in a mate … no … wait … we are embracing rationality not fantasy … throw yourself on Y/n’s mercy. Confess your attraction and directly request, no beg, for the deities’ assistance.”
“Everyone’s a comedian,” McCoy grumbled.
“You know in eighty years, the three of us likely will be sitting around this table having the same discussion,” Jim mused. He paused and continued with a faraway thoughtful expression, “Perhaps we are the loves of each other’s lives.”
“That is reasonable,” Spock said to Jim. “By then you will have copulated with nearly every being in explored space and many beyond that boundary. At that point, the good doctor and I may be the only remaining available conquests.”
Jim shook his head and pointed his thumb in Spock’s direction. “What’s got into him this morning?”
“Intense mating after a protracted disagreement. I believe the technical term is make-up …” Spock started explaining.
Bones pushed his chair back and stood. “The two of you are my ultimate future? That settles it. I’m asking Y/n out.”
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brwnidebby · a year ago
Dating starts with yourself. Spend time with yourself, do things alone, TREAT YOURSELF WELL. If you make a habit out of treating yourself to nice meals, spa trips, vacations and shopping sprees, you’d never accept anything less from a person you’re dating.
The goal for someone trying to date you should be to MAKE you want to give up time with yourself for them. They need to be planning something so inticing, something to intriguing and beneficial to you that it makes you want to give up your precious time with yourself to spend it with them. THAT is true self love and self mastery
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